Some things don't change.

[carly_sullivan]

When I'm strong, there's lots of love and affection.
When I'm falling apart, I'm very lonely.

Comments

[cyber_istari]

{{{{{ Sis }}}}}

[carly_sullivan]

I feel like I only exist to the extent that I am useful. When I get things done, I am a wonderful wife, mother, employee. When I feel overwhelmed and helpless, I'm all alone. Yes, I know I'm not fun to be around when I'm like this, but if I could choose to be otherwise, I would. I understand that they don't know how to fix it anymore than I do, and that it makes them uncomfortable, and I don't expect them to fix it. I just feel so fragile and frightened and so alone. I don't want to go through it alone.

[cyber_istari]

I'm sorry. I wish I weren't so far away. (Also? Totally forgot you've changed email addys, so I've emailed you and you wouldn't know. Sorry.)

[crazysoph]

I'm sorry you have to put up with this. It's not something you deserve, that's for sure. Not everyone will run away from when one is un-wonderful (feeling it, anyway) and overwhelmed, but it sure hurts like hell when they do.

A therapist might say to me, at such a pass, that such people are not my friends, and then leave it up to me to figure out how to deal with it. But it's very hard when one is at low ebb.

I won't say you're wonderful right now, when you're clearly not feeling it, but I do want to say that even when you're at your low point, I am glad you can share it here. I can't make it better, but I can witness it, and affirm that you deserve better treatment.

Crazy(and hoping there is something she can do to make it better... but isn't sure what)Soph

[carly_sullivan]

In point of fact, all I want is witness and affirmation. I don't expect anyone to fix me, and I know that my helplessness is anxiety-making for others. I just want someone to be willing to live with their discomfort a while to keep me company, to watch over me, until it passes. I've struggled with depression my whole life, so I know it will pass, but it's so hard to wait