Sep 13, 2011 00:15
c!: derek hale,
c!: mr. harris,
c!: danny,
s!: interactions of change,
p!: danny/jackson,
p!: derek/stiles,
c!: scott mccall,
teen wolf,
pn!: sterek,
c!: sheriff stilinski,
writing: fanfiction,
pn!: danson,
c!: kate argent,
c!: stiles stilinski,
w!: slash
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Comments 3
i was so glad that it was scotts mom and not kate, altho that could still happen. ( i dont want it to though)
and poor scott,
i love your pack dynamic and your take on the verse, more to come soon? aka not as long a wait k.
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Thank you, glad you like it. There may be a bit of a delay in update only because I really want to focus on my BB story and then I'll go back to focusing on that story.
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BlondE is used for females and blond is used for males.
You spelled "Stilinski" incorrectly as well. You also spelled grade without the "e".
I find it hard to read because of the format. The bold kind of gives me a headache against the white. Sorry :(
Also every piece of dialogue is considered to be a new paragraph, so it is considered to be incorrect not to have every line of dialogue on its own. I think? I may be wrong, but I believe that's what I've been taught? I'm sorry if I'm wrong.
I've also been taught to read out loud your dialogue, so to hear if it sounds funky? Is that the word? English is not my mother-tongue. Your dialogue sounds almost stilted to me. But I'm not sure if that makes any sense.
In my opinion it's better to show not tell, so maybe you could lay off the adjectives.
I don't mind if you disregard this though, I feel awkward posting this comment. lol I think this could be pretty great!
-E
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