Four trains of thought for a Monday morning
Four things. Spoilers for 10.02 but they're also spoiler tagged inside so you can go ahead and click through if you haven't seen that one yet.
One. I've been working on this fic basically since season 9 ended, and I just can't force it to do what I want. I've tried different formats (it's a lot of dialog so I tried doing it as a script but I didn't like it) and so I thought I should just put it away and fix it later. But the thing is, some of what I wrote, that I assumed would be AU, is actually happening. Spoilers for 10.01 and 10.02: [Spoilers for 10.01 and 10.02, click to open] Some of Castiel's grace is left. Demon!Dean has run off with Crowley (okay, everybody guessed that was going to happen, but still). Sam's doing bad things to try and get information. Demon!Dean doesn't particularly want to kill Sam but he's also not at all interested in saving his life. And Sam captures him so he can do the demon cure. (Oh, and I forgot, I even broke Sam's right wrist! I swear I started writing this before I knew Sam would be in a sling.) So, part of me is like, yay, SPN is going where I want it to go. And that means I should just throw this fic away. And part of me is saying wait, I do like some bits and pieces of it, I'd hate to throw it all out. And another part of me says if 10.03 goes the way I've written this, I kind of want it out there just to show how amazingly prophetic I am. ;-) And it's never going to be AU enough to be completely AU, and yet it doesn't follow canon enough to be a tag or anything, it's just kind of semi-canon now. And I kind of need to post it because I have a follow-up planned that will absolutely, definitely, not be the direction the show goes, and if it does you will never hear from me again because I will have fallen over dead from shock. And then the cherry on my sundae of indecision is that kalliel goes and does the exact same thing, except, of course, that hers is amazing, because that's her purpose in life, apparently, to take what I want to do and do it so much better than I ever could. And add whales and bees to it.
Anyway. The only way I can stop messing with it and move on with my life is to go ahead and post it, so look for that coming later today. (I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED TO READ IT NOW, AFTER I'VE BUILT IT UP SO MUCH. PLEASE TRY TO CONTAIN YOURSELF.)
Two. I have this Funko Pop Castiel figure in my office that I'm trying to keep on top of my computer monitor, but he likes to tumble off backwards, so last week I had him stuck up there with tape, which seemed to be working, but I was watching the Sam/Dean confrontation from 10.02 (once again, let me apologize to my employers for not actually working but come on, can anyone blame me?) and he hurled himself right off and I said I KNOW CAS, I KNOW, I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
Three. I hope 10.03 is going to be amazing (I AM UNSPOILED DO NOT SPOIL ME) but they can't keep this up forever, so I'm afraid it means an upcoming episode is going to suck, and I'm going to be crushed, I'm going to be sailing on this high of multiple amazing episodes in a row and then have the floor collapse under me. It's going to be like when The End was followed by Fallen Idols. And I have a feeling it's going to be the one that even my unspoiled self knows about: [click to read] the muscial episode. (THAT IS THE EXTENT OF MY SPOILAGE, PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL ME FURTHER.) And it makes me sad. (But what would make me sadder? If 10.03 is the one that sucks.)
Four. Yesterday, out of the blue, the husband asked me if money was no object, and I could have any car, new or old, what would I want, and I did not blurt out a black 1967 Impala you fool what else could it be because I don't really want him to know how obsessed I am. But you guys know, and you're okay with it, right?
Oh, wait, I have a number five, but it's not even remotely SPN-related. I'm wearing black pants and navy trouser socks. And I noticed before I left the house and said "oh, fuck it" and left anyway. I don't know why I feel like you need to know that. And who am I to make fun of Hannah's weird short pants, when I deliberately leave the house like this? (Boom. There you go. It's SPN-related now. Because everything is.)
One. I've been working on this fic basically since season 9 ended, and I just can't force it to do what I want. I've tried different formats (it's a lot of dialog so I tried doing it as a script but I didn't like it) and so I thought I should just put it away and fix it later. But the thing is, some of what I wrote, that I assumed would be AU, is actually happening. Spoilers for 10.01 and 10.02: [Spoilers for 10.01 and 10.02, click to open] Some of Castiel's grace is left. Demon!Dean has run off with Crowley (okay, everybody guessed that was going to happen, but still). Sam's doing bad things to try and get information. Demon!Dean doesn't particularly want to kill Sam but he's also not at all interested in saving his life. And Sam captures him so he can do the demon cure. (Oh, and I forgot, I even broke Sam's right wrist! I swear I started writing this before I knew Sam would be in a sling.) So, part of me is like, yay, SPN is going where I want it to go. And that means I should just throw this fic away. And part of me is saying wait, I do like some bits and pieces of it, I'd hate to throw it all out. And another part of me says if 10.03 goes the way I've written this, I kind of want it out there just to show how amazingly prophetic I am. ;-) And it's never going to be AU enough to be completely AU, and yet it doesn't follow canon enough to be a tag or anything, it's just kind of semi-canon now. And I kind of need to post it because I have a follow-up planned that will absolutely, definitely, not be the direction the show goes, and if it does you will never hear from me again because I will have fallen over dead from shock. And then the cherry on my sundae of indecision is that kalliel goes and does the exact same thing, except, of course, that hers is amazing, because that's her purpose in life, apparently, to take what I want to do and do it so much better than I ever could. And add whales and bees to it.
Anyway. The only way I can stop messing with it and move on with my life is to go ahead and post it, so look for that coming later today. (I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED TO READ IT NOW, AFTER I'VE BUILT IT UP SO MUCH. PLEASE TRY TO CONTAIN YOURSELF.)
Two. I have this Funko Pop Castiel figure in my office that I'm trying to keep on top of my computer monitor, but he likes to tumble off backwards, so last week I had him stuck up there with tape, which seemed to be working, but I was watching the Sam/Dean confrontation from 10.02 (once again, let me apologize to my employers for not actually working but come on, can anyone blame me?) and he hurled himself right off and I said I KNOW CAS, I KNOW, I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
Three. I hope 10.03 is going to be amazing (I AM UNSPOILED DO NOT SPOIL ME) but they can't keep this up forever, so I'm afraid it means an upcoming episode is going to suck, and I'm going to be crushed, I'm going to be sailing on this high of multiple amazing episodes in a row and then have the floor collapse under me. It's going to be like when The End was followed by Fallen Idols. And I have a feeling it's going to be the one that even my unspoiled self knows about: [click to read] the muscial episode. (THAT IS THE EXTENT OF MY SPOILAGE, PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL ME FURTHER.) And it makes me sad. (But what would make me sadder? If 10.03 is the one that sucks.)
Four. Yesterday, out of the blue, the husband asked me if money was no object, and I could have any car, new or old, what would I want, and I did not blurt out a black 1967 Impala you fool what else could it be because I don't really want him to know how obsessed I am. But you guys know, and you're okay with it, right?
Oh, wait, I have a number five, but it's not even remotely SPN-related. I'm wearing black pants and navy trouser socks. And I noticed before I left the house and said "oh, fuck it" and left anyway. I don't know why I feel like you need to know that. And who am I to make fun of Hannah's weird short pants, when I deliberately leave the house like this? (Boom. There you go. It's SPN-related now. Because everything is.)