Initial reaction 12.05: The One You've Been Waiting For
As always, I haven't read any of your reactions, though I did peek at Tumblr. Also, I have to tell you something that I swear I am not making up:
I've been driving a rental car for a couple of weeks, and it's German, and it's turned into kind of a Soulless Sam thing for me, and I've been thinking of it as "The Nazi Car." And for some reason last week I started thinking about how Dean would feel about this car, and started writing a fic in my head about Dean and the Nazi Car. And now, Nazis!!! It's a sign, people.
THEN: Mary left. Dean is sad. Thule. Nazis. Aaron Bass and his golem! \o/ Sam and his s8 hair!!! \o/
NOW: A woman tries to buy a Nazi watch. Hey, antiques dealer, don't dick around with this woman. She's clearly a Nazi necromancer. Oh, wait. No, she's not. She's dead and he's dead and someone in the darkness (is he a Thule? I bet he's a Thule) has the Nazi watch.
At the bunker, Sam's been grocery shopping, but Dean's not hungry. He won't even eat pie. This is obviously a bad sign, not just in the general "when a dog doesn't eat" example that Sam has mentioned before, but also in the very specific case of the last time Dean didn't want to eat, which was when the MoC was turning him into a monster. (Another bad sign is Sam's hair. Someone found the hairspray.) Sam, perhaps afraid of Dean going off the rails or perhaps just, you know, concerned about his brother because he loves him, prods Dean to discuss his feelings, which Dean of course refuses to do. And I kind of love the way these guys tend to offer what they themselves need. When Sam is having issues, he wants to talk about it, so he tries to help Dean do that. When Dean is having issues, he tries to lose himself in a case, and we've seen him encourage Sam to do that.
Dean, it's called sublimation.
Yeah. That's kinda my thing.
Yes it is. My college psychology was a long time ago, and when I hear sublimation, the only thing I can think of is a type of printer. But Wikipedia informs us that "In psychology, sublimation is a mature type of defense mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are unconsciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse." Sound like anyone we know?
Anyway, Dean has subliminated himself into a case involving people who are consumed in flame, while nothing around them burns. The guys break into the antique store where it all went down, and as Sam pokes around on the store's computer, Dean wanders around the shop trying to break things and generally being cute.
You figure this is one of those scenes where they just told Jensen to have fun with it.
Sam discovers an entry on the Nazi watch just as Dean discovers a hidden room full of Nazi treasures. Sam puts it together: Nazis plus fire equals Thule.
And Dean finally uses the line I wanted him to use in The Vessel: "Nazis. I hate these guys." \o/
Meanwhile, a girl on a Tinder date with yet another hipster douche (that beard, ugh, I hope this guy dies too) gives a lot of exposition and then excuses herself to the bathroom and then watches some Nazi types (who turn out to be father and son) break into her apartment and immolate him (got my wish) and she escapes from the bathroom window but not without leaving some blood behind. Which one of them collects and sniffs (ew) and says they can use to track her.
Back to Sam and Dean, talking to Aaron Bass on speakerphone. (Aaron! Cute thing!) Aaron has dropped out of college to "wipe out Nazi corpsebags" and as he says this, we see the brothers are having this conversation on speakerphone in the middle of a diner. Seriously, boys? But I'll forgive it because of Sam's cute little embarrassed wave at the waitress giving them the side-eye.
And also this shirt, which is a sibling to the S11 Red Plaid Shirt of Wonder.
Aaron's outside a nightclub in Berlin called "Die Murmeltier," and my college German was also a long time ago, but Google helpfully translates this as the marmot, which is a cute little creature like an oversized squirrel. Umkay. Is this a sex thing? Is Aaron hanging out at a sex club in Berlin? Because god, can you imagine what kind of fucked-up shit you could get into at a sex club in Berlin? With a golem? I bet the golem is still inside. I bet he's not done, and Aaron's waiting for him outside. But I digress. Aaron tells them the "Deutschnozzles" (hee) are jumpy. Something big is coming up; a mission called "Das Bloot," or The Blood (and I've probably spelled bloot wrong but I think I've already done enough research for this recap, you guys are gonna have to meet me halfway here). Their conversation is interrupted because Smart!Sam has set up an alert to let him know when a body is found, so off they go to Tinder Girl's apartment.
We see the burned spot on the floor where her hipster douche date was incinerated, and we see a body bag being wheeled away on a gurney even though there shouldn't have been a body left.
And we handwave it because boys in suits and this expression on Sam's face.
The police officer tells them Tinder Girl escaped, and we cut to the Nazi son, obviously a member of the Hitler Youth, handcuffing her in a police car and driving her away. The Winchesters arrive in time to see her screaming in panic, and they follow them to a parking garage. The Hitler Youth, who is kind of a cute little guy if you're into that, whines in a very American accent that she needs to shut up. He calls his older less cute Nazi dad to find out how to get into a big black SUV that was left for him, and we see that father and son don't get along very well, and Nazi Youth cannot read his mind and is tired of him being so hard on him, and I'm sensing a Sam Winchester parallel here. Then he hears the click of a safety and looks up to see this.
Which will never stop being hot.
The brothers take Tinder Girl and the Hitler Youth (okay, Ellie and Kristoph) into a huge office, since every parking garage has a huge office, and Sam gives a brief version of the "monsters are real" speech. And this scene is equal parts loveable and annoying. Annoying, because the camera circles them the entire time. This is the same director who gave us Red Meat, I think, which I remember as being directed very much to my satisfaction (and not just because the subject matter was so completely fantastic), but in this particular scene, the movement is very distracting. It feels like they're trying to build tension, maybe? But it's not working and I don't like it. Moving on. The loveable parts are (a) Sam standing through much of it, walking tall around everyone else, (b) Dean perched on a desk, (c) Kristoph telling the Winchesters "you'll have to kill me" to get his story and them casually saying "okay" and Dean standing behind him saying "Oh sure I can, I do it all the time" and motioning to Sam who pulls Ellie away and puts his giant hand over her ear and says "You don't want to watch this." All of that works for me.
Yep. This is good.
It works for Kristoph too, who tells them his father is "Commandant Nars" (not really Nars, I'm sure, but that's what it sounds like, and hey, maybe he really is related to the guy behind Nars cosmetics; who am I to judge). Commandant Nars was one of Hitler's inner circle, which raises an interesting point... when did he spawn Kristoph? The kid's in his early 20s and has an American accent, so is he a recent addition to the Nars family? Or was he born decades ago but he's been enjoying the Thule's ill-gotten longevity? Okay, maybe that's only an interesting point to me. Kristoph reveals that his father stopped Hitler from killing himself in the Bunker (not that one, the other one) and stuffed his soul into the Nazi watch (It's a horcrux, as Sam points out... I assume he's correct; I haven't read Harry Potter) with the goal of bringing him back. Oh, and Kristoph was born in Buffalo in 1994. I guess that wasn't an interesting point after all. As the camera circles the four of them, Kristoph explains that the Thule lost the watch for many years, but have finally found it, and are ready to resurrect their Fuhrer. Hitler's soul can only go into a body that posesses his blood. Which, conveniently, is his long-lost relative Ellie. Who didn't realize she was adopted. Oops. Here she is, generations later, a perfect vessel. Somewhere, at the bottom of the ocean, Lucifer longingly asks "why can't I find a woman like that?"
Ellie stomps into yet another office and Sam tries to give her a pep talk. She's not so sure she can handle "being related to the biggest genocidal maniac of all time." Oh, hey, look. Another Sam Winchester parallel. Sam recognizes it, because he's fairly observant, and explains that he's been there and he knows it will get easier.
Oh, right. Did someone want to use you to resurrect Adolf Hitler?
Uh, no, not exactly.
There you go
But they did want me to bring back Lucifer. I was his vessel -
You almost had me with Hitler. But Lucifer? Really? The devil?
Let's just watch Sam's face through this conversation, and then go back and watch it again, shall we?
Meanwhile, in the outer office, Dean neglects to ask Kristoph if anyone is coming for him, which will most likely be a mistake. He comes into the office with Sam and Ellie to tell her she gets to be bait. Dean tells her "there are times when you run and there are times when you stand and fight," and I have a feeling this might come up again later. He promises they will keep her safe, which makes it kind of awkward that she looks up and sees Nazis in the outer office releasing Kristoph. Sam and Dean go out to fight and I feel like I really should enjoy this fight a lot more than I actually do. I don't know. Again, it feels like they're trying to build tension and it lasts a long time and I'm just not feeling it.
Even with this.
Eventually the Nazis get a message and run off. And it turns out Ellie ran off too. Just like you'd expect from Hitler's descendant, am I right? She runs right into Herr Nars, as expected. Ooops again.
Cut to Sam and Dean in the parking garage, where they've taken the time to change out of the suits for some reason. Dean makes a crack about "isn't running a whole thing with her," which is something Kristoph said earlier when describing the way he's been stalking her. Is this supposed to be a Mary thing? Is Dean annoyed with the chicks who do the running thing? Maybe. Let's move on. Sam leaves a voice mail message for Ellie which reveals that Kristoph told them about the Hitler thing, and the Commandant is not amused.
You were supposed to be my heir. Instead, you are an inconceivable disappointment.
You know, I used to look up to you. You conquered death. You did so many things. But now? Now all you want to do is relive your glory days with Hitler.
Your generation; you millenials are too weak to steward the future. It needs a stronger hand. The world is too dvided and inflamed. This falling of empires, flaying of economies is precisely why there has never been a better time for the Fuhrer's return.
But enough about the American presidential election. The long black Nazi mobile (did I mention my Nazi car was black, because it was) pulls to a stop and Ellie is dragged out, kicking and screaming, to begin the "purification ritual." Sounds lovely. We're told that a patrol has been sent to find the Winchesters, and the Commandant orders one of his minions to put his son out of his misery. Right as he prepares to shoot the Hitler Youth, Fritz the minion gets a message that the Winchesters have been spotted back at the diner. Kristoph then attacks Fritz and escapes, with blood spatter all over his pretty little face.
Back at the diner, the guys are wondering how they'll ever find Ellie, when Kristoph slides into their booth. (Next to Sam, of course. That's where I'd be sitting. Or would I sit next to Dean, so I could gaze at Sam across the table? Nope, I'd want to be within smelling distance of Sam.) Sam jumps in surprise, which is all kinds of cute, and slides his arm across the back of the booth. Which is kind of odd because it leaves him completely open to any weapon Kristoph might have. I'd like to think it was intentional on the Show's part, but I can't think of any reason for Sam to leave himself so unguarded. Well, not completely unguarded - Dean does point a gun at Hitler Youth under the table, so there's that. But they look more annoyed than threatened.
Dean's "I will shoot you in the junk" face is precious to me
Kristoph tries to convince the Winchesters that he has switched sides. "Do you know what it was like to have a Nazi necromancer as a father? It sucked. Christmas was a joke. Career day at school was a nightmare." Okay, that's... that's kind of funny, right? Is this turning into a funny episode now? Twenty-nine minutes in? "All I do is try to make him proud," he continues. "I'll never be good enough. He asked a guy named Fritz to kill me." OH HEY LOOK ANOTHER SAM WINCHESTER PARALLEL.
"That's funny. My father asked my brother Dean to kill me." Anything you millenials have to whine about, Sam can top you. Don't even try.
I do have to say, Sam smacking Kristoph on the head to get him out of the booth is the cutest thing ever.
I guess we're back to the funny again.
Over at Purification Central, Herr Nars plays Wagner (of course) to prepare to welcome the Fuhrer into his new vessel. Sam cuffs Kristoph into the car, I think - it's pretty dark. There's a cute little bit where Dean wants to use a grenade launcher and Sam won't let him because they need to be stealthy. Inside, Ellie's blood is being drained from her body and... pumped in to the Commandant? He tells Ellie "The Fuhrer's soul must occupy a body that contains the blood of his blood." So Ellie's not the vessel after all - the vessel only needs to be someone who has Hitler's blood. Well, this is illogical. I mean, obviously, when we refer to being someone's "blood," we're talking about family. DNA. Not red cells and plasma. So I'm kind of annoyed at this twist. But I'm also interested, because does this apply to all vessels? Could someone, say an archangel for example, take the literal blood of his chosen vessel and pump it into someone else, thereby creating an appropriate vessel? It is something to ponder.
As the boys stealthily take care of the outdoor Nazis, an indoor Nazi carries a large brownie on a silver tray.
Trust me. If you'd taken off your glasses to clean them at this point, it was a large brownie.)
Oh, no, wait. It's the Nazi watch box. They remove the watch and place it on the Commandant's belly and ew! Things pop out and carve a swastika and then it sinks into his body and his eyes open and he becomes... Roger Rabbit.
What the fuck?
No, seriously, he's Roger Rabbit. What the fucking fuck?
Really, I can't even. I don't know what the hell is going on here but I don't like it. He's not really Hitler, right? They messed up, right? It's some German comedian? No, it's actual Hitler. (Also, he speaks English now, which The Husband assures me was not the case.)
Meanwhile, the guys get caught by the Nazis. How's that stealth working out for you, boys?
At least their "wait, this is Hitler?" faces are adorable
And then there are cracks about cell phones and Twitter and then Ellie gets up because she's no longer restrained for some reason and shots are fired and Dean kills Hitler and Sam is all, "Dude, you killed Hitler!" and that's the line for the rest of the episode and Dean decides he's gonna eat pie after all because he killed Hitler. Oh, and they tell Kristoph to run because the remaining Thule will hunt him down as a traitor. Think we'll see him again? But more importantly, Dean killed Hitler. Did he mention he killed Hitler? How long will Sam resist the urge to say "Yeah, I know, and do you remember when I dragged Lucifer into Hell?"
So, this episode. I don't even know. I'm used to funny episodes that end on a dramatic note. This one tried to start out dramatic and end funny and didn't do either very well, in my opinion. But now I get to see what you thought.
No spoilers in the comments please!
And a bonus!
Untitled S7 ficlet. Not related to this episode at all, except for the Nazis. Because I love my car in a way that only Dean Winchester could understand...
///
Please do not forget your cell phone, the car blinks cheerfully.
"Fuck you, you fucking Nazi car," Dean responds, just as cheerfully.
"Dean."
"No, Sam. Don't Dean me. It's bad enough Frank made me hide the Impala, but this one? I'm done with this damn car, man. Where did you even find it? What on earth made you pick a Touareg? What the fuck even is a Too-a-reg?"
Sam sighs his long-suffering sigh. "The Twa-reg," he says, probably pronouncing it correctly, "are indigenous people of -"
"Shut up."
"You asked."
"That was a rhetorical question and you know it. The real question is, why this car, Sam? Why this Nazi car?"
Sam ticks off the Twa-reg's benefits on his fingers. "It's tuned for high-altitude travel. You know the Impala would be struggling up here in the mountains. It's turbo charged, so it's fast. But it's a 6-cylinder, so it's efficient. It's got all-wheel drive and winter tires, so we're not going to slide off the road and go tumbling down this damn mountain."
And yeah, these are valid points. Dean has accepted that he might die in the Impala, but he figured it would be bleeding out in the back seat, or hurling it kamikaze-style into a demon-piloted truck that was about to plow into a busload of nuns and puppies, or maybe, just maybe, pointing it into a concrete embankment once he decides he's done. Not rolling off an icy road like some douche who doesn't know how to drive.
But these are also all the reasons he hates this car. It's too sleek, too efficient, too steady, too quiet. On the outside it's shiny and black and it's got four doors and four wheels and it should be okay. But inside, it's all wrong.
It reminds him too much of Robo-Sam.
"So, seriously." Sam is staring him down. "What is it that you hate so much about this car?"
"It's got no goddamn soul, Sam."
Well, crap. He didn't mean to say that out loud. Sam's eyebrows go up quickly and are just as quickly directed back down. He turns away to look out the windshield. After a few seconds, he's managed to tamp down whatever bit of hurt that might have accidentally leaked out, and god forgive him, but Dean's still relieved to see any bit of emotion reflected on Sam's face, even if it's not a good one.
"I miss her too, man," Sam says, his mouth twisted into a bitter little smile. "We'll find an older car next time."
I've been driving a rental car for a couple of weeks, and it's German, and it's turned into kind of a Soulless Sam thing for me, and I've been thinking of it as "The Nazi Car." And for some reason last week I started thinking about how Dean would feel about this car, and started writing a fic in my head about Dean and the Nazi Car. And now, Nazis!!! It's a sign, people.
THEN: Mary left. Dean is sad. Thule. Nazis. Aaron Bass and his golem! \o/ Sam and his s8 hair!!! \o/
NOW: A woman tries to buy a Nazi watch. Hey, antiques dealer, don't dick around with this woman. She's clearly a Nazi necromancer. Oh, wait. No, she's not. She's dead and he's dead and someone in the darkness (is he a Thule? I bet he's a Thule) has the Nazi watch.
At the bunker, Sam's been grocery shopping, but Dean's not hungry. He won't even eat pie. This is obviously a bad sign, not just in the general "when a dog doesn't eat" example that Sam has mentioned before, but also in the very specific case of the last time Dean didn't want to eat, which was when the MoC was turning him into a monster. (Another bad sign is Sam's hair. Someone found the hairspray.) Sam, perhaps afraid of Dean going off the rails or perhaps just, you know, concerned about his brother because he loves him, prods Dean to discuss his feelings, which Dean of course refuses to do. And I kind of love the way these guys tend to offer what they themselves need. When Sam is having issues, he wants to talk about it, so he tries to help Dean do that. When Dean is having issues, he tries to lose himself in a case, and we've seen him encourage Sam to do that.
Dean, it's called sublimation.
Yeah. That's kinda my thing.
Yes it is. My college psychology was a long time ago, and when I hear sublimation, the only thing I can think of is a type of printer. But Wikipedia informs us that "In psychology, sublimation is a mature type of defense mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are unconsciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse." Sound like anyone we know?
Anyway, Dean has subliminated himself into a case involving people who are consumed in flame, while nothing around them burns. The guys break into the antique store where it all went down, and as Sam pokes around on the store's computer, Dean wanders around the shop trying to break things and generally being cute.
You figure this is one of those scenes where they just told Jensen to have fun with it.
Sam discovers an entry on the Nazi watch just as Dean discovers a hidden room full of Nazi treasures. Sam puts it together: Nazis plus fire equals Thule.
And Dean finally uses the line I wanted him to use in The Vessel: "Nazis. I hate these guys." \o/
Meanwhile, a girl on a Tinder date with yet another hipster douche (that beard, ugh, I hope this guy dies too) gives a lot of exposition and then excuses herself to the bathroom and then watches some Nazi types (who turn out to be father and son) break into her apartment and immolate him (got my wish) and she escapes from the bathroom window but not without leaving some blood behind. Which one of them collects and sniffs (ew) and says they can use to track her.
Back to Sam and Dean, talking to Aaron Bass on speakerphone. (Aaron! Cute thing!) Aaron has dropped out of college to "wipe out Nazi corpsebags" and as he says this, we see the brothers are having this conversation on speakerphone in the middle of a diner. Seriously, boys? But I'll forgive it because of Sam's cute little embarrassed wave at the waitress giving them the side-eye.
And also this shirt, which is a sibling to the S11 Red Plaid Shirt of Wonder.
Aaron's outside a nightclub in Berlin called "Die Murmeltier," and my college German was also a long time ago, but Google helpfully translates this as the marmot, which is a cute little creature like an oversized squirrel. Umkay. Is this a sex thing? Is Aaron hanging out at a sex club in Berlin? Because god, can you imagine what kind of fucked-up shit you could get into at a sex club in Berlin? With a golem? I bet the golem is still inside. I bet he's not done, and Aaron's waiting for him outside. But I digress. Aaron tells them the "Deutschnozzles" (hee) are jumpy. Something big is coming up; a mission called "Das Bloot," or The Blood (and I've probably spelled bloot wrong but I think I've already done enough research for this recap, you guys are gonna have to meet me halfway here). Their conversation is interrupted because Smart!Sam has set up an alert to let him know when a body is found, so off they go to Tinder Girl's apartment.
We see the burned spot on the floor where her hipster douche date was incinerated, and we see a body bag being wheeled away on a gurney even though there shouldn't have been a body left.
And we handwave it because boys in suits and this expression on Sam's face.
The police officer tells them Tinder Girl escaped, and we cut to the Nazi son, obviously a member of the Hitler Youth, handcuffing her in a police car and driving her away. The Winchesters arrive in time to see her screaming in panic, and they follow them to a parking garage. The Hitler Youth, who is kind of a cute little guy if you're into that, whines in a very American accent that she needs to shut up. He calls his older less cute Nazi dad to find out how to get into a big black SUV that was left for him, and we see that father and son don't get along very well, and Nazi Youth cannot read his mind and is tired of him being so hard on him, and I'm sensing a Sam Winchester parallel here. Then he hears the click of a safety and looks up to see this.
Which will never stop being hot.
The brothers take Tinder Girl and the Hitler Youth (okay, Ellie and Kristoph) into a huge office, since every parking garage has a huge office, and Sam gives a brief version of the "monsters are real" speech. And this scene is equal parts loveable and annoying. Annoying, because the camera circles them the entire time. This is the same director who gave us Red Meat, I think, which I remember as being directed very much to my satisfaction (and not just because the subject matter was so completely fantastic), but in this particular scene, the movement is very distracting. It feels like they're trying to build tension, maybe? But it's not working and I don't like it. Moving on. The loveable parts are (a) Sam standing through much of it, walking tall around everyone else, (b) Dean perched on a desk, (c) Kristoph telling the Winchesters "you'll have to kill me" to get his story and them casually saying "okay" and Dean standing behind him saying "Oh sure I can, I do it all the time" and motioning to Sam who pulls Ellie away and puts his giant hand over her ear and says "You don't want to watch this." All of that works for me.
Yep. This is good.
It works for Kristoph too, who tells them his father is "Commandant Nars" (not really Nars, I'm sure, but that's what it sounds like, and hey, maybe he really is related to the guy behind Nars cosmetics; who am I to judge). Commandant Nars was one of Hitler's inner circle, which raises an interesting point... when did he spawn Kristoph? The kid's in his early 20s and has an American accent, so is he a recent addition to the Nars family? Or was he born decades ago but he's been enjoying the Thule's ill-gotten longevity? Okay, maybe that's only an interesting point to me. Kristoph reveals that his father stopped Hitler from killing himself in the Bunker (not that one, the other one) and stuffed his soul into the Nazi watch (It's a horcrux, as Sam points out... I assume he's correct; I haven't read Harry Potter) with the goal of bringing him back. Oh, and Kristoph was born in Buffalo in 1994. I guess that wasn't an interesting point after all. As the camera circles the four of them, Kristoph explains that the Thule lost the watch for many years, but have finally found it, and are ready to resurrect their Fuhrer. Hitler's soul can only go into a body that posesses his blood. Which, conveniently, is his long-lost relative Ellie. Who didn't realize she was adopted. Oops. Here she is, generations later, a perfect vessel. Somewhere, at the bottom of the ocean, Lucifer longingly asks "why can't I find a woman like that?"
Ellie stomps into yet another office and Sam tries to give her a pep talk. She's not so sure she can handle "being related to the biggest genocidal maniac of all time." Oh, hey, look. Another Sam Winchester parallel. Sam recognizes it, because he's fairly observant, and explains that he's been there and he knows it will get easier.
Oh, right. Did someone want to use you to resurrect Adolf Hitler?
Uh, no, not exactly.
There you go
But they did want me to bring back Lucifer. I was his vessel -
You almost had me with Hitler. But Lucifer? Really? The devil?
Let's just watch Sam's face through this conversation, and then go back and watch it again, shall we?
Meanwhile, in the outer office, Dean neglects to ask Kristoph if anyone is coming for him, which will most likely be a mistake. He comes into the office with Sam and Ellie to tell her she gets to be bait. Dean tells her "there are times when you run and there are times when you stand and fight," and I have a feeling this might come up again later. He promises they will keep her safe, which makes it kind of awkward that she looks up and sees Nazis in the outer office releasing Kristoph. Sam and Dean go out to fight and I feel like I really should enjoy this fight a lot more than I actually do. I don't know. Again, it feels like they're trying to build tension and it lasts a long time and I'm just not feeling it.
Even with this.
Eventually the Nazis get a message and run off. And it turns out Ellie ran off too. Just like you'd expect from Hitler's descendant, am I right? She runs right into Herr Nars, as expected. Ooops again.
Cut to Sam and Dean in the parking garage, where they've taken the time to change out of the suits for some reason. Dean makes a crack about "isn't running a whole thing with her," which is something Kristoph said earlier when describing the way he's been stalking her. Is this supposed to be a Mary thing? Is Dean annoyed with the chicks who do the running thing? Maybe. Let's move on. Sam leaves a voice mail message for Ellie which reveals that Kristoph told them about the Hitler thing, and the Commandant is not amused.
You were supposed to be my heir. Instead, you are an inconceivable disappointment.
You know, I used to look up to you. You conquered death. You did so many things. But now? Now all you want to do is relive your glory days with Hitler.
Your generation; you millenials are too weak to steward the future. It needs a stronger hand. The world is too dvided and inflamed. This falling of empires, flaying of economies is precisely why there has never been a better time for the Fuhrer's return.
But enough about the American presidential election. The long black Nazi mobile (did I mention my Nazi car was black, because it was) pulls to a stop and Ellie is dragged out, kicking and screaming, to begin the "purification ritual." Sounds lovely. We're told that a patrol has been sent to find the Winchesters, and the Commandant orders one of his minions to put his son out of his misery. Right as he prepares to shoot the Hitler Youth, Fritz the minion gets a message that the Winchesters have been spotted back at the diner. Kristoph then attacks Fritz and escapes, with blood spatter all over his pretty little face.
Back at the diner, the guys are wondering how they'll ever find Ellie, when Kristoph slides into their booth. (Next to Sam, of course. That's where I'd be sitting. Or would I sit next to Dean, so I could gaze at Sam across the table? Nope, I'd want to be within smelling distance of Sam.) Sam jumps in surprise, which is all kinds of cute, and slides his arm across the back of the booth. Which is kind of odd because it leaves him completely open to any weapon Kristoph might have. I'd like to think it was intentional on the Show's part, but I can't think of any reason for Sam to leave himself so unguarded. Well, not completely unguarded - Dean does point a gun at Hitler Youth under the table, so there's that. But they look more annoyed than threatened.
Dean's "I will shoot you in the junk" face is precious to me
Kristoph tries to convince the Winchesters that he has switched sides. "Do you know what it was like to have a Nazi necromancer as a father? It sucked. Christmas was a joke. Career day at school was a nightmare." Okay, that's... that's kind of funny, right? Is this turning into a funny episode now? Twenty-nine minutes in? "All I do is try to make him proud," he continues. "I'll never be good enough. He asked a guy named Fritz to kill me." OH HEY LOOK ANOTHER SAM WINCHESTER PARALLEL.
"That's funny. My father asked my brother Dean to kill me." Anything you millenials have to whine about, Sam can top you. Don't even try.
I do have to say, Sam smacking Kristoph on the head to get him out of the booth is the cutest thing ever.
I guess we're back to the funny again.
Over at Purification Central, Herr Nars plays Wagner (of course) to prepare to welcome the Fuhrer into his new vessel. Sam cuffs Kristoph into the car, I think - it's pretty dark. There's a cute little bit where Dean wants to use a grenade launcher and Sam won't let him because they need to be stealthy. Inside, Ellie's blood is being drained from her body and... pumped in to the Commandant? He tells Ellie "The Fuhrer's soul must occupy a body that contains the blood of his blood." So Ellie's not the vessel after all - the vessel only needs to be someone who has Hitler's blood. Well, this is illogical. I mean, obviously, when we refer to being someone's "blood," we're talking about family. DNA. Not red cells and plasma. So I'm kind of annoyed at this twist. But I'm also interested, because does this apply to all vessels? Could someone, say an archangel for example, take the literal blood of his chosen vessel and pump it into someone else, thereby creating an appropriate vessel? It is something to ponder.
As the boys stealthily take care of the outdoor Nazis, an indoor Nazi carries a large brownie on a silver tray.
Trust me. If you'd taken off your glasses to clean them at this point, it was a large brownie.)
Oh, no, wait. It's the Nazi watch box. They remove the watch and place it on the Commandant's belly and ew! Things pop out and carve a swastika and then it sinks into his body and his eyes open and he becomes... Roger Rabbit.
What the fuck?
No, seriously, he's Roger Rabbit. What the fucking fuck?
Really, I can't even. I don't know what the hell is going on here but I don't like it. He's not really Hitler, right? They messed up, right? It's some German comedian? No, it's actual Hitler. (Also, he speaks English now, which The Husband assures me was not the case.)
Meanwhile, the guys get caught by the Nazis. How's that stealth working out for you, boys?
At least their "wait, this is Hitler?" faces are adorable
And then there are cracks about cell phones and Twitter and then Ellie gets up because she's no longer restrained for some reason and shots are fired and Dean kills Hitler and Sam is all, "Dude, you killed Hitler!" and that's the line for the rest of the episode and Dean decides he's gonna eat pie after all because he killed Hitler. Oh, and they tell Kristoph to run because the remaining Thule will hunt him down as a traitor. Think we'll see him again? But more importantly, Dean killed Hitler. Did he mention he killed Hitler? How long will Sam resist the urge to say "Yeah, I know, and do you remember when I dragged Lucifer into Hell?"
So, this episode. I don't even know. I'm used to funny episodes that end on a dramatic note. This one tried to start out dramatic and end funny and didn't do either very well, in my opinion. But now I get to see what you thought.
No spoilers in the comments please!
And a bonus!
Untitled S7 ficlet. Not related to this episode at all, except for the Nazis. Because I love my car in a way that only Dean Winchester could understand...
///
Please do not forget your cell phone, the car blinks cheerfully.
"Fuck you, you fucking Nazi car," Dean responds, just as cheerfully.
"Dean."
"No, Sam. Don't Dean me. It's bad enough Frank made me hide the Impala, but this one? I'm done with this damn car, man. Where did you even find it? What on earth made you pick a Touareg? What the fuck even is a Too-a-reg?"
Sam sighs his long-suffering sigh. "The Twa-reg," he says, probably pronouncing it correctly, "are indigenous people of -"
"Shut up."
"You asked."
"That was a rhetorical question and you know it. The real question is, why this car, Sam? Why this Nazi car?"
Sam ticks off the Twa-reg's benefits on his fingers. "It's tuned for high-altitude travel. You know the Impala would be struggling up here in the mountains. It's turbo charged, so it's fast. But it's a 6-cylinder, so it's efficient. It's got all-wheel drive and winter tires, so we're not going to slide off the road and go tumbling down this damn mountain."
And yeah, these are valid points. Dean has accepted that he might die in the Impala, but he figured it would be bleeding out in the back seat, or hurling it kamikaze-style into a demon-piloted truck that was about to plow into a busload of nuns and puppies, or maybe, just maybe, pointing it into a concrete embankment once he decides he's done. Not rolling off an icy road like some douche who doesn't know how to drive.
But these are also all the reasons he hates this car. It's too sleek, too efficient, too steady, too quiet. On the outside it's shiny and black and it's got four doors and four wheels and it should be okay. But inside, it's all wrong.
It reminds him too much of Robo-Sam.
"So, seriously." Sam is staring him down. "What is it that you hate so much about this car?"
"It's got no goddamn soul, Sam."
Well, crap. He didn't mean to say that out loud. Sam's eyebrows go up quickly and are just as quickly directed back down. He turns away to look out the windshield. After a few seconds, he's managed to tamp down whatever bit of hurt that might have accidentally leaked out, and god forgive him, but Dean's still relieved to see any bit of emotion reflected on Sam's face, even if it's not a good one.
"I miss her too, man," Sam says, his mouth twisted into a bitter little smile. "We'll find an older car next time."