"He's a crook and a scoundrel." "I thought you liked him." "Oh I LIKE him just fine."

[captlebubbles]

"{...} Indeed, I enjoyed my life as Stoker Blake and all the new little skills it has taught me. Excellent implement, the shovel. And as for the other stokers, I think I made friends there, yes, there was a acertain camaraderie among us. All said, a little holiday from the weighty business of hte city, and I dare say I might be predisposed to

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

I don't think Vetinari regrets his life- I don't think he's the sort of man to regret choosing the path he did. But, much like Granny, I think there are times when he might look at the might-have-beens with a kind of wistful sigh, and wish well on the Vetinari's who traveled down those trouser-legs of time instead.

Yes! Regret would imply that, if he were to do it over again, he'd give up what he's gained for what he had to sacrifice. I don't think he feels that way, or would even seriously consider the possibility. But even if you wouldn't give up what you have for what you might have had, there's still that touch of "Those other things would also have been nice." And several of those involve not taking on the responsibility for the city.

[wolfy_writing]

Yes, the whole peaceful transition of power thing would be brand new. And the Patrician who listens and smiles in a non-scary way and doesn't get scary unless you really push is also going to be new.

I could see him picking up so many trades and mastering them.

[captlebubbles]

I also imagine he'd keep the golden suit. Vetinari wore a muted black and that suited the image he was portraying, but Moist is the Man In the Golden Suit and for him, it's as much a part of his image as he is. So he has a selection of golden suits to use for Patricianing appearances, though the one he wears around the office and for doing behind-the-scenes stuff is merely subtly flashy.

He's really good at picking stuff up quickly and just quietly insinuates himself into the people he's learning from, and in no time at all he's One Of Them, and if they ever do ask questions he just tells them he found a quiet retirement too quiet and decided to put his hand to a new trade to keep him occupied.

[wolfy_writing]

Yeah, I imagine he has a rich, varied wardrobe with varying degrees of flashiness and gold, ranging from classic gold suit to "Really just some gold trimmings, for when I want to be somber and serious".

Which is entirely true.

[captlebubbles]

Really big dos get the whole shebang, of course. And then you have his selection of ordinary suits, that he wears when he needs to go incognito, though he does this less often these days since his face is on the dollar and the penny stamp now and everyone has plenty of time to look at it closely. He has to invest in extra furniture now

[wolfy_writing]

Yes, he has his incognito act, which is more effective than Adora thinks possible (because people recognize others by context more than one thinks), but less than he's entirely comfortable with.

I can just picture Moist being all "No, it's a terrible idea!" and the confused post office staff staring at him, and then him realizing there isn't really a good argument against it, and he really is the Patrician now, and no longer has to worry about vanishing into the general population (although he still has a backup plan in case he really screws something up).

(He would definitely get a stamp. Possibly he could be a lord? I don't know about being a duke, although Vimes would happily split the job. And I think Sybil would happily be on equal footing with Effie.)

Drumknott could be a railway clerk out near Bonk! And Vetinari could play chess with Lady Margolotta!

[captlebubbles]

"Moist, you're the damn Patrician, everyone knows you."
"They didn't know me yesterday when I put on a pair of glasses and a plain black suit."

Moist began putting a backup plan into motion as soon as he realized what Vetinari intended for him. If he has to disappear, he will.

(Well the book explicitly used the word Duchess and made a joke about how she'd always been Duchess to Harry but now she was really a Duchess, so I assumed Duke. I certainly don't think the Vimeses would mind, and now Sam can have someone else to either share his misery about the ceremonial tights, or someone to band together with to get rid of them. I can just see them deciding that since there's two of them now, they can set some new traditions

[wolfy_writing]

There's identities set up in Genua and Fourecks, because Moist knows how most Patricians leave the job.

(They would be such fun Dukes together!)

...aw, sweet!

I love your headcanons!

[captlebubbles]

Of course, Vetinari knows about these identities, and should Moist ever leave Ankh-Morpork in this way, he may find a very dangerous enemy on his hands. After all, Vetinari left his city in Moist's hands on trust and good faith, and that's a hefty responsibility

[wolfy_writing]

Yes, if Moist leaves the job before it's in the best interest of the city for him to do so, he's going to seriously regret it.

They would go to so many fancy events and loudly swap stories about their childhoods while everyone else stares at them in snobbish horror.

Aw, sweet!

I can imagine that if someone tried to make an official rule that both parties in a marriage had to prove they had different genders, there would be a lot of very angry dwarfs. (After decades of perfectly happy marriage, suddenly a bunch of humans are asking prying questions about their spouse's genitals, and threatening to declare their marriage invalid based on the answer?) So it's probably not much more than a thing that's "just not done" among humans, and I'm sure at least one of the hundreds of religions in Ankh-Morpork would be in favor of it, so it should be a relatively easy change.

[captlebubbles]

In a way, Vetinari still has him trapped, but at least this time he gave him a choice first.

Also they raise their kids to treat servants and lower classes and non-humans like people, and not to act like just because they're rich and nobby they're better than them, and the other nobs hate that. They're employing them, sure, and they act like employers, but they act like employers who consider their employees valuable.

Oh yes, it was mostly about humans anyway, but Moist included the species thing just to make sure to cover the mixed marriages (which were already happening anyway) as well. No harm in making sure no one could make that a problem.

[wolfy_writing]

Yeah, it's an extension of his hiring process - now he's clear into "You must absolutely understand the full ramifications and freely make the decision, and then you're trapped."

Yes! I can just imagine young Sam showing the first whiff of entitlement, and his dad coming down on him strongly and seriously.

I'm thinking the different species would give him a convenient political angle - the people who are against it would only have been thinking of humans, but he's all "Surely, you can't suggest we demand dwarf couples prove their gender? That's a horrible cultural offense! And we have to take into account the free golems, who don't all have genders, and certainly don't have the kind of anatomy you're worried about. No, the only fair option is for everyone to marry whatever sentient willing adult they like, and any humans who object is free to not do it." Only more clever, so people who objected would end up being convinced that he actually did save them from mandatory same-sex marriage.

[captlebubbles]

He makes a joke about having contingencies to Vetinari, and for a moment it's like their roles are being switched back and Vetinari's like "do not think for one moment that I would allow you to leave before I have deemed it fit for you to do so" and Moist is like "Wait I am still in charge right

[wolfy_writing]

Yeah, that's going to be a short, sharp shock.

Yeah, Young Sam doesn't have to be malicious to imitate something he saw or heard from someone else, and to not think about what he's doing. And his dad is going to nip that in the bud while it is a childhood mistake.

Arranged marriages would at least have a blunted edge - there'd always be selective introductions and family pressure, possibly even some "You will marry this person you don't know for the honor of the family", but also the knowledge that if one absolutely didn't want to, one can refuse, and be backed up by the watch.

(I think it would be a while, because they don't have the same biological instincts, but they're showing all kinds of desires and personality traits no one expected before they were free, and "Promise an intense devotion to one particular person" is something they might reasonably value. And yes! Gladys!)

[captlebubbles]

He'll only ever be truly free when Vetinari's dead and he's starting to wonder if the man is staying alive just to keep an eye on him. (Vetinari's death is not one I'm willing to contemplate until I'm ready to be really sad.)

Fortunately, he also spends a lot of time around Harry King's grandkids, who are about his age, and they're getting the same lessons, so they're able to reinforce them in each other (no need to save face in front of the other nobby kids). This also has the added benefit that because they're in the line of dukes, they outrank the other kids and they're the ones whose leads the other nobby kids have to follow, inasmuch as the kids follow anyone's lead.

Oh yes, they still find ways, but if a young person was like "no, I don't want to marry this person", they could go to the Watch and they could go to the law, and the law would be on their side.

(They spend all their time working, but when they aren't working, why shouldn't they seek out the same kind of companionship the other races do?)

[wolfy_writing]

He had his opportunity to be out from under Vetinari's influence, but staying was so much more interesting, and how he's stuck.

Yeah, everything will be set up for him to not make very many mistakes like that, and also be a good influence on their generation of upper-class kids. And I can imagine Sam Vimes being very proud when he overhears his son tell another other kid that if he can't be polite to the cook, he doesn't deserve the biscuits she worked so hard to make.

And as ugly as emotional blackmail can be, it's not as bad as straight-up threats.

(Yes, companionship, support, love, none of these things depend on sex.)