Mandate 1/7- Charles
Nathan considers the idea of dating a man, and tries to see how the others feel about it.
First, the legal side of things.
Yes the title is kind of a bad pun, but that’s what my brain insists on calling it.
Disclaimer: I do not own them, and all that stuff.
Charles was having an average day, for him. No tour at the moment, no really important lawsuits, just the usual daily business of handling the empire that was Dethklok.
It was still a lot of work, that never changed, but it was a pretty ordinary day in his office.
Until there was a knock at the door. “Come in.”
When Nathan walked into his office and sat quietly, Charles knew he wasn’t going to get any more work done anytime soon. Barging in yelling impossible demands, that was the norm, but this was something different. This was something that was going to take time.
Quickly finding a stopping place, Charles then closed his laptop and set it aside. “Yes, Nathan?”
Nathan continued to sit quietly, staring in the general direction of the floor. Just sitting there. He appeared to be sober, of close enough to count. He didn’t seem to be injured in any way.
“Nathan?” Charles snapped his fingers, causing Nathan to finally look up. “What can I help you with?”
“Uh.... I need legal advice?”
That was never good! Charles automatically started trying to think of anything the boys might have gotten themselves into lately. “Regarding what exactly? What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything! I mean, not yet.” Nathan slumped further in his chair with a grunt. “I was just thinking about... doing something.”
“What sort of something?”
Nathan sighed. “I was... thinking about dating. Again, I mean. But like... not the same kind of dating?”
That wasn’t enough to go on. “Different how?”
“I don’t know if I wanna say!”
“Nathan, you came to me for advice. I can’t give you advice unless I understand what you’re asking of me.”
“What if... What if... ARGHH, I CAN’T SAY IT!”
“Calm down, deep breath.... Good. I’m not going to judge you, Nathan. Just tell me.”
“Okay... I was thinking what if... um, what if I dated a guy?” He cringed a bit when he said it, like he expected top be swatted with a rolled newspaper or something.
Charles was relieved, even though this might cause some PR issues. With Dethklok he’d learned to always expect the worst, and they usually delivered. “Well for starters, he wouldn’t need to sign a paternity waver.”
“He wouldn’t?”
“No, Nathan.” They could be so dumb sometimes, it was still amazing after all these years. “If you’re both male, nobody can get pregnant. He would still be required to pass the STD screening though.”
“Oh. Yeah, I hadn’t thought about that part. The, you know, pregnant part. That’s good. So you’re saying that it’s cool if I date a guy? I mean, if I decided to try it?”
“Legally it’s fine, yes, as long as they’re of legal age. A minor would be unacceptable. Do you have someone in particular in mind?”
“Maybe? Kinda, but I’m still thinking about it?”
There might be a few issues, depending on who the person was, but Charles was confident that he could handle whatever might be necessary. “Is that all, or do you need help with anything else today?”
“But what it’s it’s not metal?”
“Well Nathan, you’ve said that you would make everything metal. I don’t see why this would be any different.”
“What if the other guys say I’m not metal anymore? What if they kick me out of the band?!”
Charles massaged his temples, it was always something. “Nathan, you’re the voice of Dethklok. It wouldn’t be Dethklok without you. I think it’s safe to say they won’t kick you out.”
“Wait, you think? That means it’s possible?!”
“If necessary, I’m sure I can persuade Facebones to explain it to them.”
“You can talk to Facebones? That’s so cool! I wanna talk to him!”
“I’s sorry, Nathan, but I’m the only one he’ll talk to. But he would do it if I asked him nicely.”
“Uh, maybe? Sucks I can’t talk to him though, I’ve always wanted to. Wait, why do you think they’ll be okay with it?”
“Well, gay marriage has been legal in Sweden and Norway for some time, so Skwisgaar and Toki probably wouldn’t care. And I can’t see Pickles really objecting. Murderface likely will, but there’s really nothing he can do about it.”
“Huh, I didn’t know that. About their countries, I mean.”
“Now you do.”
“Now I do. Promise you won’t tell anybody yet? Just in case?”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Nathan stared out the window. “I’m still thinking about this. If I’m going to do it, I mean. I might not.”
“Well that’s your decision. If I can help you with anything else, let me know.”
“But what if I do it, then don’t like it, but everybody thinks I’m gay forever?”
“Nathan, as long as you like women then you’re not gay, that’s not how it works. You might be bisexual at best, but you’re not gay.”
“Uh, I’m going to go not be gay somewhere else now.”
“Okay, you do that.”
“I will! Uh, I’m leaving now.” And with that, Nathan left the office.
Well that actually hadn’t taken nearly as long as he’d anticipated. Charles opened his laptop back up to resume working.
He might still have a PR mess on his hands, but he’d worry about that if it happened. Nathan, dating a guy? Sometimes they still managed to surprise him.
Charles went back to his work.
next
First, the legal side of things.
Yes the title is kind of a bad pun, but that’s what my brain insists on calling it.
Disclaimer: I do not own them, and all that stuff.
Charles was having an average day, for him. No tour at the moment, no really important lawsuits, just the usual daily business of handling the empire that was Dethklok.
It was still a lot of work, that never changed, but it was a pretty ordinary day in his office.
Until there was a knock at the door. “Come in.”
When Nathan walked into his office and sat quietly, Charles knew he wasn’t going to get any more work done anytime soon. Barging in yelling impossible demands, that was the norm, but this was something different. This was something that was going to take time.
Quickly finding a stopping place, Charles then closed his laptop and set it aside. “Yes, Nathan?”
Nathan continued to sit quietly, staring in the general direction of the floor. Just sitting there. He appeared to be sober, of close enough to count. He didn’t seem to be injured in any way.
“Nathan?” Charles snapped his fingers, causing Nathan to finally look up. “What can I help you with?”
“Uh.... I need legal advice?”
That was never good! Charles automatically started trying to think of anything the boys might have gotten themselves into lately. “Regarding what exactly? What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything! I mean, not yet.” Nathan slumped further in his chair with a grunt. “I was just thinking about... doing something.”
“What sort of something?”
Nathan sighed. “I was... thinking about dating. Again, I mean. But like... not the same kind of dating?”
That wasn’t enough to go on. “Different how?”
“I don’t know if I wanna say!”
“Nathan, you came to me for advice. I can’t give you advice unless I understand what you’re asking of me.”
“What if... What if... ARGHH, I CAN’T SAY IT!”
“Calm down, deep breath.... Good. I’m not going to judge you, Nathan. Just tell me.”
“Okay... I was thinking what if... um, what if I dated a guy?” He cringed a bit when he said it, like he expected top be swatted with a rolled newspaper or something.
Charles was relieved, even though this might cause some PR issues. With Dethklok he’d learned to always expect the worst, and they usually delivered. “Well for starters, he wouldn’t need to sign a paternity waver.”
“He wouldn’t?”
“No, Nathan.” They could be so dumb sometimes, it was still amazing after all these years. “If you’re both male, nobody can get pregnant. He would still be required to pass the STD screening though.”
“Oh. Yeah, I hadn’t thought about that part. The, you know, pregnant part. That’s good. So you’re saying that it’s cool if I date a guy? I mean, if I decided to try it?”
“Legally it’s fine, yes, as long as they’re of legal age. A minor would be unacceptable. Do you have someone in particular in mind?”
“Maybe? Kinda, but I’m still thinking about it?”
There might be a few issues, depending on who the person was, but Charles was confident that he could handle whatever might be necessary. “Is that all, or do you need help with anything else today?”
“But what it’s it’s not metal?”
“Well Nathan, you’ve said that you would make everything metal. I don’t see why this would be any different.”
“What if the other guys say I’m not metal anymore? What if they kick me out of the band?!”
Charles massaged his temples, it was always something. “Nathan, you’re the voice of Dethklok. It wouldn’t be Dethklok without you. I think it’s safe to say they won’t kick you out.”
“Wait, you think? That means it’s possible?!”
“If necessary, I’m sure I can persuade Facebones to explain it to them.”
“You can talk to Facebones? That’s so cool! I wanna talk to him!”
“I’s sorry, Nathan, but I’m the only one he’ll talk to. But he would do it if I asked him nicely.”
“Uh, maybe? Sucks I can’t talk to him though, I’ve always wanted to. Wait, why do you think they’ll be okay with it?”
“Well, gay marriage has been legal in Sweden and Norway for some time, so Skwisgaar and Toki probably wouldn’t care. And I can’t see Pickles really objecting. Murderface likely will, but there’s really nothing he can do about it.”
“Huh, I didn’t know that. About their countries, I mean.”
“Now you do.”
“Now I do. Promise you won’t tell anybody yet? Just in case?”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Nathan stared out the window. “I’m still thinking about this. If I’m going to do it, I mean. I might not.”
“Well that’s your decision. If I can help you with anything else, let me know.”
“But what if I do it, then don’t like it, but everybody thinks I’m gay forever?”
“Nathan, as long as you like women then you’re not gay, that’s not how it works. You might be bisexual at best, but you’re not gay.”
“Uh, I’m going to go not be gay somewhere else now.”
“Okay, you do that.”
“I will! Uh, I’m leaving now.” And with that, Nathan left the office.
Well that actually hadn’t taken nearly as long as he’d anticipated. Charles opened his laptop back up to resume working.
He might still have a PR mess on his hands, but he’d worry about that if it happened. Nathan, dating a guy? Sometimes they still managed to surprise him.
Charles went back to his work.
next