{ WARNING & PUNISHMENT }

[capn_redd]

Mr. Viking fang-face. Yes. YOU. Mr. Eric-I-snub-the-good-captain's-courteous-offer-of-cruelty-free-nourishment-Northman.

Naughty, naughty, naughty.

Captain Redd meant to give you a warning, but you've been such an INDUSTRIOUS, busy little bee, that he has no choice but to show you the consequences of your actions

Comments

[audio]

[powerofgod]

He is not yours to punish.

[capn_redd]

[Redd blows a raspberry into the communicator.]

This is my ship. He is my passenger.

One plus one equals eleventy five on this boat, poodle.

[audio]

[powerofgod]

I care nothing for your unfounded assumptions. Eric is mine.

[Dem's fighting words, captain. Two for one vampire punishment palooza!]

[audio]

[ntjstapwn]

...the Captain is not one to pick a fight with.

*wtfareyoudoing? why does marco end up working with crazy people*

[audio]

[powerofgod]

[He's not crazy, Marco, just a Daddyvamp! It's an important distinction to make!]

I am not picking a fight. I am relaying a pivotal truth.

[audio]

[ntjstapwn]

Of course. Unfortunately its how Redd perceives it that matters.

*That's really all he has to say on the matter. As close to 'be careful, damnit' as Marco's gonna get on the subject or to Godric in general*

[audio]

[capn_redd]

See? The older ones, they know. They understand, don't they lovey?

Good boy.

[The captain decides to reward Marco with a box of maple syrup candies. The plastic-wrapped box appears in front of him. It has a bright red bow wrapped around it with a card that says, "From Middle-Earth, with love."]

[ntjstapwn]

...

*Yeah, he's not touching those candies. But they will sit nicely on a table in his room as a conversation piece.*

[capn_redd]

[You don't want to insult Redd after he was so kind to you, do you Marco? The box begins to unwrap itself and once open, a candy floats up in front of Marco's face. It dances about in the air and speaks with a high-pitched Redd's voice.

"Eat me, Marco! I am delicious!"]

[ntjstapwn]

*Marco does not look at the candy. Maybe if he ignores it it will go away.*

[capn_redd]

[No such luck, Marco. The candy is quite insistent.

"EAT MEEEEE!!!"]

[ntjstapwn]

*dsdsfhgfkhl

*Marco usually doesn't give into things so easily, but this is from Redd, who is basically the one superior officer above all others on the ship. No matter how much he disliked the Captain, he knew that struggling was futile.*

Alright fine.

*He grabs the candy and pops it in his mouth, but still doesn't look at it.*

[capn_redd]

[The rest of the candies in the box cheer with tiny, high-pitched voices, then go quiet.

The candy does not transform Marco, or alter him in any way. It is delicious and completely harmless.

Congratulations.]

[ntjstapwn]

*Well...good. He's still not eating the rest, though.*

[capn_redd]

Well goodness, then you should have put a ring on it.

[Ping! A gaudy gold ring drops from the ceiling into Godric's lap. The inside says, "To Eric, Wuv Godikins."]

...or, oh dear, have I got it all wrong? Perhaps this is better suited.

[Jingle-jingle! A black studded collar drops down in the same place. The metal tag says "ERIC" on one side and "Return to Godric if found roaming unattended."]

[audio]

[powerofgod]

You think much of your humour, and I think very little of your intelligence.