Giving General Conversion Tables For Things Not Given

[caper_est]

A first and merely qualitative attempt:

Degree of concern disclaimed

Acoustic Unit

Scatologic Unit
Erotic Unit

Significant
Hoot
Shit
Fuck

Detectable
Whinge
Fart
Stroke

Extreme
Holler
Sewer
Orgy

Notes:

1) The use of toss for stroke is henceforth deprecated, due to its popular abuse as a synonym for the larger unit. It is probably

Comments

[del_c]

Should 'fart' be in the acoustic scale?

Should 'rat's ass' be in the scatalogical scale, the erotic scale, or a new, separate 'sphincter scale'?

[caper_est]

Should 'fart' be in the acoustic scale?

It has been removed, because the obsolete acoustic fart was not reliably equal to the standard scatological fart, causing needless confusion.

Should 'rat's ass' be in the scatalogical scale, the erotic scale, or a new, separate 'sphincter scale'?

The rat's ass should NOT be in the erotic scale! Unfortunately, Rule 34 informs us that it is, somewhere. But that place shall not be this place.

The nonstandard 'beastly' scale, whose largest unit is the abovementioned Care Bear, boasts a rat's ass as its smallest unit of indifference. It has not been accepted by the wider wossname community, as its base unit continues unnamed, due to persistent sloth.

A sphincter scale was mooted at some conference or other of the British Temporary Placeholder Society, but both of the other persons present pointed out, "Arseholes to that!"

[del_c]

So the monkey's toss is beastly, while the tinker's curse (or cuss) is acoustic [1]

[1] curse/cuss/arse/ass suffer from the métre/metre/meter/gramme/gram problem