The Classics Renewed

[caper_est]

Because I'm still somewhat hung over, and harbouring an enormous vortex of negative energy which sucks the inspiration out of anything it touches, here are some new beginnings for famous works of Western literature, in approximate chronological order.  Classics Without Tears*, here we come!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was "in".

Sing,

Comments

[khiemtran]

I'd read on for #4. (Although, shouldn't it start with "Yo!" these days?)

[caper_est]

That wasn't supposed to be one of the really modern ones. Besides, if somebody said "Yo!" around my neighbourhood these days, all the young dudes would imagine they were extracting the Michael, Daddy-O!

I still think the ultimate First Line Win goes to Seamus Heaney's translation, which renders it :

So. The Spear-Danes in days gone by...

[del_c]

If only we had the budget for special effects and location shots! Just pretend this is a big battle, okay?

I must be getting senile in my middle age; where did all these trees come from?

[caper_est]

Is that Monty Python, or is it two more contributions to the set?

[del_c]

Two more. Do you recognise them?

[caper_est]

I dunno, they sound like early and late scenes from Macbeth to me. If they're the beginnings of different things, you've well and truly got me.

I put Macbeth into my Hangover Machine and got:

- Item 13: Time and Location of Next Meeting.