(Untitled)

[breathingsounds]

WHO: Darth Vader... and you?
WHERE: Walmart or something.
WHEN: RIGHT ABOUT NOW
WARNINGS: This is Vader there is always a possibility of violence. Always. IF YOU HAVE NOT YET FILLED OUT HIS PERMISSION PAGE IN HIS JOURNAL AND WOULD LIKE TO TAG IN HERE I would appreciate it if you'd stop by there first.
SUMMARY: Look you cannot throw Vader into a (

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[megamaniacal]

[ MEGAMIND, the incredibly handsome former Criminal Genius and Master of All Villainy that was good in the world was starving. Starving! How could he be starving! He had money! These nifty little cards came with money already on them! He could buy things! Like a normal person!

So the starving hero was at this strange place called Wal*Mart. With it's bright lights, and kind elderly greeters. How strange fascinating was this!?

And then he saw him. The guy with such amazing taste he simply had to approach him and pretend to look at the exact same things right next to him, his eyes shifting up several times in a minute, just to get the full look. A little retro but man! This was a good looking costume! ]

[breathingsounds]

[In the time he had been here, short as it had been, Vader had been forced to accustom himself to random strangers stopping him in the street to congratulate him for his costume. These fools seemed to have no appreciation for who he really was - he was used to stares and used to awe, but it lacked a certain reverence or fear that usually flavored the general tone of his interactions with others when on some planet with civilians.

That was lacking here, and there seemed very little that he could do to permanently resolve the issue. Very well, he would accept that which he could not change.

For now.

This little man, however, was getting on his nerves, and so at last he set down the container of whey protein that he'd been considering and had turned towards him.]

I have little patience for games. What business do you have with me?

[megamaniacal]

[ CRAP! This guy didn't talk like someone who wasn't willing to compare presentation notes. ]

Uh! Well, that's an excellent question! In fact!

[ HE BACKS UP A FEW STEPS. ]

You have the best superhero costume I've ever seen!

[breathingsounds]

[This? This is the sound of a thunderstruck silence, softened only by the mechanized sound of Vader's breathing, as Darth Vader stares down in something like incomprehension.]

It was not intended to be a costume.

[warriorsuperb]

[ The Incredible Hercules, son of Zeus and warrior superb, had been shopping for condoms but a few aisles down. It was supposed to be a quick in and out trip, a box of Magnums and perhaps some potato chips to go with the beer that Thor still hadn't bought he had hidden in a small refrigerator in his room--but then he saw the tall, black-garbed man carefully perusing each bottle and box in the vitamin aisle--

--and did a double take.

Not because the man was familiar--he was, vaguely, but Herc couldn't quite place him--but because he was so obviously a villain.

That, or a really bad impersonator from one of those conventions Amadeus talked about. That possibility demanded a gentle--but friendly--approach. Hercules walked toward the man and stopped a few feet away. ]

What is the object of your search?

[breathingsounds]

[The relative quiet of a store at midnight, with the lights slightly dimmed to conserve power, was a marginally more appropriate backdrop for someone who walked around cloaked in a black cape and a all-encompassing suit of black body armor than bright white walls and floors and screaming children would have been. It's enough of a difference that the mechanized breathing as Vader peruses the isle approaches the proper level of menacing.

It is simply not as much so as it normally would be, but Vader does not expect the same level of respect in the City that he commanded at home. It would be nonsensical to do so. And being approached by strangers is, though nothing new, still an irritant.]

I cannot see how that is any business of yours.