[The camera is full of
whiskery snout and beady eyes. Whuffle, sniff. Noseprint. Piper gently removes the rat to his shoulder, making a face as his ear gets the same whuffle, sniff treatment, and wipes the lens clean with the sleeve of his green shirt.]
This here is one nameless male rat. I'm really crap at naming. And I realize this is the most ridiculous post ever, but at least I'm not singing, right?
[Obligatory pause for potential irony, followed by a shrug.]
Not singing. So, name suggestions?