Tell UCL you won't accept any less than the biggest room in halls, £500 behind the union bar for your personal use, a little moped (with driver) to ferry you around campus and a personal secretary to take notes for you in lectures.
Once UCL have accepted your terms you'll have Oxford over a barrel. You can leave the two of them to fight over you until you either a) get an offer from both of them, stipulating that you dont have to go to lectures and automatically graduate with a 1:1 OR b) both UCL and Oxford end up in a pile of rubble due to the ferocious fighting and you end up going to Bolton Uni to do Sports Science. (no offence to anyone who goes to Bolton to do Sports Science btw).
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Once UCL have accepted your terms you'll have Oxford over a barrel. You can leave the two of them to fight over you until you either a) get an offer from both of them, stipulating that you dont have to go to lectures and automatically graduate with a 1:1 OR b) both UCL and Oxford end up in a pile of rubble due to the ferocious fighting and you end up going to Bolton Uni to do Sports Science. (no offence to anyone who goes to Bolton to do Sports Science btw).
Umm, but good luck!
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you are genius =D
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