(Untitled)

[the_firefly]

January 1st: this universe we cannot control

Title: At the End of Time
Day/Theme: January 1st - this universe we cannot control
Series: Touka Gettan
Character/Pairing: Touka/Momoka
Rating: PG
Notes: Set during the end of episode 1

Comments

[parsnip_chan]

♥ It's lovely and at the sixth line I definitely knew which scene you were envisioning! It works very well.

I also like how there's symmetry in each of the non-italacized lines and also in the italicized lines. My only suggestion is that the fourth line is a little awkward. Is the 'begins to' necessary? Maybe? Likewise in the sixth line. The 'her' in 'wants to ask her' is a little redundant.

Since you asked.

♥ So very lovely ♥

[the_firefly]

No worries, :D

I shall go to edit because I agree with the suggestions, ♥

THANK YOU