Comments | candleanfeather: DIPTYCH, part I-3

candleanfeather

DIPTYCH, part I-3

Jun 10, 2009 14:54

This is the third part of the first panel of a G/S story, focusing on sixth moments of their relationship. I tried to give the whole story a pictural quality. This part can be read as a standalone, but if you want, you can have a look at part I-1 and part I-2 of Dyptich too, to have a whole survey of the first panel of the story and better ( Read more... )

giles, spike, diptych, fic

Comments 7

shapinglight June 10 2009, 21:01:50 UTC

This flows very well now, and is very atmospheric, I think. Can almost feel the rain beating down - and that ending. I really want to know what happens next.

candleanfeather June 11 2009, 20:58:07 UTC

Thank you again for your help. You greatly contributed to the quality of this "flow". When I write in French, I'm very sensitive to the flow and the rythm of the text and these are definitively parts of what I work hard to capture, but, in English being able to catch them is a whole another story for me.

I really want to know what happens next. Thank you.The next part will be the beginning of the second panel but all the parts are disjointed and from one panel to the other one, voluntarily the chronology isn't respected. But I promise you, one of these part will get er... "physical". :)

shapinglight June 11 2009, 21:25:28 UTC

When I write in French, I'm very sensitive to the flow and the rythm of the text and these are definitively parts of what I work hard to capture, but, in English being able to catch them is a whole another story for me.

Well, speaking as someone who couldn't write anything readable in a language other than my own, I am very impressed, and glad to hear there will be more one day.

katekat1010 June 12 2009, 01:14:23 UTC

this is lovely, and the tension you create in images and words is quite beautiful. I loved, in particular, these two lines:

He had made a choice, a simple, calculated one: use the impaired monster, enlist it in their fight. Everything to protect her, to push death and pain a little further from her, to alleviate, if only a little, the burden on her young shoulders.

These mediocre attempts had attracted his attention, not because of their subjects, surprising in their sentimentalism, but because of the multiple corrections where the author’s zeal for perfection was clear to see without him ever succeeding at making his works better.

thank you so much for bringing them into the english for us!

candleanfeather June 12 2009, 16:35:31 UTC

Thank you for the nice comments. In the two lines that attracted your attention, I tried to give some keys to understand the characters, so your choice makes me happy.

One of the most difficult thing in G/S pairing is to find a credible reason as to why Giles would accept Spike's presence. As for the image of Spike having difficulties to get it right in his poetry, it summarizes, in my mind, a good part of his moral journey in season 5 and 6.

brunettepet June 16 2009, 19:26:50 UTC

The oppressive rain perfectly matched Giles' mood in this. Riley's accusation shone a spotlight on what Spike is capable of. Whether it's true or not, the possibilities grabbed Giles by the throat and wouldn't let go. Giles' care with Spike's belongings show that Giles is not happy with the outcome.

candleanfeather June 20 2009, 09:29:59 UTC

Yes. I tried to depict a conflicted Giles: he has grown accustomed to Spike's presence but is still wary of him and the eggs episode (true or not)inflates of course his distrust. At the same time, he has begun to perceive the man in Spike which doesn't make him comfortable at all.

Thank you very much for taking the time and the pain to comment on all the parts of this story.