(no subject)
Aaaand more apps, let's keep it up! We still have a few more rounds to go!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Mason
Series: Dead Like Me
Character Age: died at 27 (in 1966)
Job: Addictions Counselor
Canon: Dead Like Me tells the largely posthumous story of a girl named George Lass, who was tragically killed by a flaming toilet seat from outerspace. But as very few things about George are normal, rather than 'moving on' she learns that she is to become a Grim Reaper, taking the souls of other people before they die. Her first mentor for this morbid assignment is Mason.
Unfortunately, Mason is not a particularly good mentor. In fact, Mason isn't particularly good for anything, unless you want to know where to score the best crack. A druggie alcoholic burnout, Mason tends to fail miserably at everything he tries, especially staying clean. Not the sort of person you'd want to depend on, Mason is bumbling and sloppy, rude and whiny when things don't go his way. Despite technically being in his 60s, Mason behaves like a child fairly often, pouting and arguing and being generally immature. He rambles and bullshits and has terrible taste in undergarments. He is, however, a devoted friend and a fairly dedicated worker --and if he can happen to score some cash or a place to stay off the dead body, those are just fringe benefits. Seriously, though, there's a heart of gold and occasional eloquence underneath all the booze and body odor, it just takes its sweet time showing itself.
...but seeing as he killed himself by drilling a hole in his head, we probably shouldn't expect rocket science from the man.
Sample App:
I am so viciously fucked. Also late. Very late for my reap-------ahahaha, hello! I meant my appointment. There's a meeting, Addicts Anonymous, and I'm late. And it's very important that I'm there, so I should be going. Not that I'm an addict, no, I'm the--what do they call the person in charge--the counselor!
What? I definitely, totally, absolutely am a bloody counselor. I'm supposed to be teaching people things, like how to examine their past mistakes and make amend---wait a minute. We don't have to do me too, do we? Because then I'd have to tell the story about the time I supplemented my income with those balloons filled with the nice white powder. That was definitely a mistake; you should always double bag, kids. Not that I'm telling that story, it wouldn't reflect very well on me as group leader.
No, no, I said I'm not an addict. Drugs are bad, very very bad. They discourage hygiene and they turn you funny colors and they make it impossible to do paperwork, so you can't hold down a job, and then there's the way that they make your fingers all numb and tingly, very bad for filing. You shouldn't do drugs. Unless you want to be all numb and tingly, and if it's just your fingers then you didn't do enough. But drugs are bad and illegal, not good at all--no, I won't give you any, it's bad, weren't you listening? You should look into having your ears cleaned, mate. And your teeth brushed, your breath is bloody terrible. It reminds me of this girl I met down in California that one time who worked at a popsicle stand. She blew like---urk. I'm sorry. I didn't know she was your cousin. Please put me down. Please? If we could just skip the hurty painy bit, that would be much appreciated.
...or we could do the hurty part. Why does everyone always want to do the hurty part? That's going to leave such a bruise. I'm like a peach, you know, soft and delicate and just a little fuzzy. But not fuzzy enough, after you and the roughing up and all. Do you know where I could get a drink? Just something to take the edge off, I'm all edges right now. Sharp ones. In fact, I'm nearly edgy, you should really be afraid of me.
That's right! I'm smart and cunning and I haven't showered today, so my headlock will be something brutal. Or maybe it was the day before yesterday, or last week? I know I showered last week. Anyway, brutal. I'll give you the old one-two, one-two-four... no wait. One-two-three, yeah, just li-----
Ow. I think I made a wee from all the ow. Now I'll have to change my trousers before work.
... I don't even own another pair of trousers. Bollocks.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Amidamaru
Series: Shaman King (manga)
Age: 24 (at death)
Job: Surveillance
Canon: When you substitute pokémon with spirits in adorable miniball form, throw in some not-so-subtle references to drugs and add in a shounen fighting tournament, you get Shaman King. Asakura Yoh is a 15 year old shaman, the bridge between the human world and the spirit world. As a shaman, he is a contestant in the Shaman Fight, a tournament held every 500 years which grants the winner the ability to achieve their dreams. By Yoh's side every step of his journey is his trusty ghost partner, Amidamaru.
When Amidamaru was alive, he was a skilled samurai who was fiercely loyal to his friends. Six hundred years after his death, he hasn't changed at all. As Yoh's spirit partner, Amidamaru takes his duties seriously and always tries his very best. In other words, he is a giant softie who fails at hiding his feelings. He gets flustered over being praised, frets over the safety of his friends and becomes very excited about battling a powerful warrior or, really, anything new and shiny. Amidamaru might be far from the stereotype of a stoic, serious samurai, but in a pinch, there's really no one more dependable.
Note: permission given to mention Yoh.
Sample App:
I am grateful for this opportunity to serve you, Lady Director. Not only has his great establishment graciously took in my master for training, but to offer me a position as well... I am truly in your debt! You see, I cannot be away from Lord Yoh for too long. If something were to happen to him, I... I would offer my life as penance for my disgrace! ...although now I suppose it's far too late for that. Hahaha...
Ah, but you do not have to worry! I may be honor bound to my master, but that does not mean that I will not take on this task set before me. As I was trying to saying earlier, I am very impressed with Campeffudee. This establishment follows a wonderful philosophy. Although I've only just been introduced to the Astley Mantra since my arrival, I am truly touched by such dedication to your cause. So Lady Director, I will match the enthusiasm of Campeffudee and in the words of the wise Guru Astley, I will never give you up, nor will I let you down!
I assure you, Lady Director, I will certainly prove my worth as a counselor. Although I am a samurai, during my many years as a ghost, I have perfected my ability to observe undetected. With my spirit form, I am able to fly to great heights to survey these lands and oversee the campers' training. Also, my lack of physical form allows me to move through barriers, so I may observe that the campers are obeying the rules. Although, I see you already do a fine job preventing the campers from breaking the sex ban. W-why would they even think of those things when they're supposed be training to become stronger! However, my lady, there is this one task that I am rather confused by. It is on the top of my list, so it must be important. And dangerous by the looks of it; many have lost their lives because they were caught observing this secret ritual. But, I should have no problem, I'm already dead! Never mind the dangers, I give you my word as a samurai that I will watch these campers fap to the best of my abilities!
However, I must say I would prefer that my duties here not be carried out completely in secret. I would like to know these campers personally and form bonds of friendship with them. Haha, perhaps I am just overcome with nostalgia. You see, I grew up with many other orphans, and my friend, Mosuke, and I were the oldest and looked after everyone else, which is similar to what I'm going to do here. So, I would like to able to do everything in my power to be of help to these children. They should not hesitate to ask me to even the smallest of favors. Small favors like waking them up in the morning for training or accompanying them to the toilet after dark. I would not mind in the least, after all, ghosts don't sleep, they wait. So everyone, if they wish to, should not hesitate to think of me as their Big Brother!
Poll Vote!
Character: "Deadpool" Wade T. Wilson
Series: Deadpool, Cable & Deadpool, Marvel comics in general.
Character Age: Not revealed. He's old.
Job: Master of Asshattery; Quip Tutor
Canon: Deadpool, whose real name is presumably Wade T. Wilson, is a mercenary for hire with aspirations of greatness and doing good in the world. However things rarely go as planned for him, and the few times he does great good nobody knows or it comes at a price- like that one time he killed the Messiah. In his defense, that messiah would've taken away free will to create Paradise- the bottom line though is that nobody remembered it either way. On the plus side, he got to kick Captain America in the crotch.
Wise-cracking and often breaking the fourth wall, Deadpool is armed with more than wit- often armed to the teeth and alongside his healing factor he's a force to be taken seriously, if only he could take himself seriously. This isn't helped by his seeming insanity- his thoughts bouncing off the wall faster than super fun ball. One moment he may be referencing his love for the Golden Girls before stabbing you through the spleen, the next he may be mouthing the word spleen because it amuses him. However there is a method to his madness, he's just waiting for someone to tell him what it is.
Note: As hinted earlier, Deadpool breaks the fourth wall often,even being aware he's a comic book character. Part of this is that his thoughts often take the form of the narration yellow boxes with which he can read and control and have a discussion with. Also to those curious, the amount of bolding is quite common for his text.
Sample App:
Louisiana Swamp. Murky. Not good for dry cleaning, and a breeding ground for zombies.
Do zombies breed? Well, they're kinda like bread, green and moldy, but I don't think that counts. I wonder if they make zombie stain removal. "Zom-B-Gone, just spray on the effected area and wash with holy water."
Such burning questions, like burning undead, give away our hero's location! I am Legend! Except I don't die in the end.
Hey, those're spoilers (and out of nowhere- the best kind)! However, the last thing I need is Warner Bros. breathing down my neck for causing them a loss of DVD sales. Have you seen what the RIAA has done to old grannies? It's enough to make a grown mercenary cry. My wallet's already getting wet around the edges. That might be the swamp.
Y'never know, they might offer you a movie deal.
Never happen, best I can hope for is a bit part in some film about a hairy Canuck. Anyhow, stop boxing, more apping. Nice to know they're still working, though they look strange without any borders... maybe if I donate enough to Livejourna- hey! Stop listening in on a guy's monologue, here.
Well, lets see... what was the job again? Camp %!@#$ You Die huh? Hope it's nicer than the welcome mat. Gorilla. It's a mat now anyway. Not sure if it was actually purple before or after I shot it, but it's more more of a fuchsia now. Perhaps a lovely magenta. I hear that stuff is great for your hair. I wonder what the job was, I just kind of agreed to it after they added more zeros than a Japanese rebellion. The orders just say [insert job here]? Well that's just not creative. A quick fix with a little bit of ink.... voila! Viola. Violin. Bass. And there's always room for cello. There we go, Deadpool- Master of Asshattery; Quip Tutor. That's what happens when you give me a blank check, hall pass, or bathroom wall. Besides, what kind of summer camp doesn't have a quip tutor? An understaffed one, that's what! It's in limbo. How low can you go?
I guess I gotta work hard for the money so lets get right on with it shall we? Lesson One- be aware of your surroundings! If you were in Rome, you'd pun as the Romans do, if you're in a church, you'd do as the priests do- well maybe not. Run along little choir boy, you won't need to be showing me your rectory. Churches are great, you can make borderline offensive remarks and it's okay as long as it's common opinion! Not to mention the amazing setup you have for a 'pew pew pew' sound effect. Use real pews! Authenticity is number one. Don't forget to take a tip from the collection bowl for extra damning. I used it legitimately, so you can't censor it, nyah nyah.
Lesson Two! Know your opponent! Lets say your opponent is a big gorilla, literally or figuratively. Lay it thick with prime primate jokes, and anything else you can think of at the time. This is where having quick wits or being me comes in handy. Fuzzball, hairy, banana breath- anything that has that monkey magic. This is also a primate (and don't be afraid to repeat a joke, if it gets old it's okay as long as you're laughing on the inside) time to use more puns! Monkey business! Kids these days wouldn't know a joke if it gave 'em a big ol' monkey bite, so you'll have to dole them out by the barrelful, it'll be fun. More fun than a barrel full of- is that too much? Yeah... that's enough to make me go bananas.
Lesson Three! ...monologue! Sometimes your opponent is too dumb, deaf, or mute... or maybe they're a gigantic communist mutated clone of Helen Keller bent on world domination. As she grasps for the face of Lady Liberty in order to identify what she is genetically disposed to crush, in these cases you might not have anything to work with- or everything you can work with will keep you from being published- ^@#$ those censors, if you can't make of the handicapable, who is left? Anyway. In cases like these, just be sure to have a nice one sided conversation with them! This goes for all you prospective appers out there too, listen up! But you have to be careful, don't have heavy participation on the other side! Ask 'em questions that'll get simple and easily read answers- nothing that doesn't sound natural, got it? See just like that. Hypotheticals are great, Hypodermics are not- unless you're a doctor. Then they're just fun! But I digress, I'm the only licensed practictioner you're worried about at the moment.
Let's wrap this up for now, I'm running out of space here and I'm sure some of you are just itching to go out and quip someone, quip 'em good. Was that REM Speedwagon or Devo? Once you're an experienced quipper it'll be child's play (not the movie- those dolls creep me out- having to close their eyes when they lay down) but until then I want all of you to practice. That's your homework! Campwork. Whatever. Go and quip 5 people until they laugh or punch you in the head. Partial credit if they duct tape you into submission- it happens to the best of us, and by that I mean you and definitely never me because I'm properly equipped. Class dismissed!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Sumeragi Lee Noriega
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam 00
Character Age: 26
Counselor Job: Drinking Supervisor
Canon: Gundam 00 is set in the year 2307, when humanity is relying on solar power instead of the now exhausted fossil fuels. Constant conflict and disturbances result from warring over resources. Celestial Being is a private military organization that is created to put an end to all fightings, even if it itself has resorted to fighting. To that end, they use overpowered mobile suits to eradicate all wars.
Sumeragi Lee Noriega is Celestial Being's tactical analyst, whose task is to formulate battle plans and strategies with her near perfect predictions. She's prone to drinking to push her past sorrows away, and often veils her world-weariness with a ready smile and a carefree attitude. Her playfulness is contagious, and any success calls for a celebration and an invitation to drink. However, she is serious and calculating when the need calls for it, yet compassionate and not above interrupting rigid plans in order to protect her Gundam pilots. Sumeragi often refers to her crew as kids, even as she's not much older than them. Despite her brilliance when it comes with strategy, her past mistakes have made her live with unspoken guilt. It is only when faced with unexpected failure that Sumeragi's cheerfulness slips into depression. She is rarely seen without a wineglass (or a floating space drink container) in hand.
Sample Post:
There's something wonderful about drinking wine when there's gravity. Miss Sayre has really offered the utmost best with this selection, and I shouldn't expect less than the famed director of this establishment. I must applaud her precision and taste when choosing suitable persons to handle her affairs, as well. This is a delicate matter, after all, as it concerns quite a number of youths all well beyond the legal age of, well, various temptations. Restlessness and the rush of youth may prompt you to be wild and daring, but someone has to take the responsibility for you breaking the law. Miss Sayre may be many things, but she certainly is not a criminal. You're still too young to escape the stress of your daily life and what a life it is, through drinking. So, for now, let's just respect the law. But let's talk of cheerful things for the time being, shall we?
I know you've been cooped up here with too many restrictions, but confinement shouldn't be a reason not to celebrate. You're going through the best years of your life right now, and youth is a terrible thing to waste moping over being struck with the wrong gender or species. It may be a bit inconvenient to put up with a body that isn't yours, but nothing works better than looking at the bright side, and hoping for the best. If you stress over every little misfortune that comes your way, before you know it, you'll be turning frail and gray or whatever lighter shade of your current color. I admire the spirit that's kept up your persistence so far, so how about we make the best of that, now? A little game should bring us all closer, and ease some of those worry lines right off.
We have a good round number between all of us, and we're already gathered conveniently in the middle of camp. A little competitiveness never hurts, and I'm siding with the gorillas for the first round. The penalty for losing to the zombies will have to be solitary confinement. To make things fair for both sides, I'm willing to take a drink every time my side loses, a cold beer would be so nice right now... For a start, your very simple mission will be to evade paint balls for as long as you can. This should make the best use of your mobility skills, and it never hurts to learn a bit of strategy as you go along.
My gorillas are doing well right now, drawing the enemy in with a show of inferiority and then-- Well! I suppose you really were unprepared. That's just as I predicted, unfortunately. I guess that's a sip for me. I can understand the pain you're feeling as you face this loss, so don't give up now. Even if you keep losing your ammunition, you can still turn this around. Just stop trying to pick off lice off the zombies' heads.
...To make me run out of my camp alcohol ration already. You guys are really something.
Poll Vote!
Name: Miakis
Series: Suikoden V
Age: 23
Job: Bodyguard-for-hire
Canon Section: Once upon a time in the Queendom of Falena, there was a close knit Royal Family. Then there was epic betrayal. The Queen and her husband were killed, the Princess taken prisoner and turned into a puppet ruler, and the Prince forced out. Luckily, the Prince happened upon an object that gave him some awesome magic-type powers, aka the Dawn Rune, and was able to start a civil war to recapture the Queendom.
Miakis is a Queen’s Knight- one of a select group of soldiers that serve directly under the Royal family. Initially, she is assigned to protect the heir to the throne, Princess Lymsleia. Despite her high position, her default way of speaking is fairly informal. She is cheerful and energetic; and loves playing jokes and teasing people, usually the Princess. She also has a habit of projecting her quirks onto other people and coming out with random comments that no-one quite understands… but at least she finds them funny.
Note: Potch is the Suikoden world’s currency.
Sample Entry:
Stand up straight! Jump up and down! Now sit, boy! Spin round and round and round until the world spins with you! Great, now go take a dip in the lake with Marcy! Hey, hey, I was kidding about that last one. Mostly. You just looked so funny doing everything I said like that, especially when bits of you went flying off, but I’m not mean enough to let you jump into the lake. After all, lake monsters are soooo retro, your little zombie buddies would never let you live it down.
Anyway, enough of that. You shouldn’t let yourself get side-tracked like that, Mr Zombie-guy. Let me introduce myself, the name’s Miakis, and I’m camp’s new bodyguard-for-hire! What’s that, I hear you ask? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like. You’re a little slow, aren’t you, Mr Zombie-guy? But if that gooey stuff dripping out of your ear really is your brain, I guess I can let it slide just this once. Basically, what I’m here to do is to stop people getting hurt, and all I ask for in exchange is a bucket load of potch~ Not that I’m greedy, of course, but being the poor, wandering traveller that I am right now, it is a necessity. But how could I refuse a request from our dearest tiny Princess when all she asks is that I find her wayward brother and bring him home? I’m a good Samaritan like that. Don’t give me that doubtful look, mister, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll teach you how to be a bodyguard! Just promise me you won’t steal my gig, okay? It’s really easy, you’ll understand it, sludge for brains or no.
Step One: Find a client. For maximum results, make sure they look loaded. Step Two: Get some nice, shiny, pointy weapons. But not too shiny! Lest you accidentally blind yourself with a freak reflected ray of sunshine or something. Step Three: Stand around your client and look menacing, no one will dare go near you! Note that results may vary depending on height, weight, age and how low you can go! Step Four: Who knows what that is. Step Five: PROFIT!
But the key is to never leave your client’s side. Wherever they go, you go! Bath, bed, toilet, anywhere! Don’t let them out of your sight, ever! Take me and the Princess for example, ever since I was assigned to protect her, we’ve never been separated, not even once! Huh? Where is she now, you ask? Who knows, off doing whatever it is little shorty Princesses do, I suppose. What do you mean, ‘I said we’d never been separated’? Of course we have, she needs to go to the bathroom and stuff, following her there is just silly.
Mind if we get back to our lesson now? Honestly, good help is so hard to find these days~
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Thobari Dulandal Kumohira
Series: Nabari no Ou
Age: 25
Job: Ninja Club Advisor
Canon: The life of a modern day ninja isn't an easy one, even more so for children. Balancing schoolwork with after school chores can get pretty hectic for any kid, but add in lessons of taijutsu and ninjutsu and you can bet their tension level is through the roof. Toss in the arrival of an ultimate weapon with the indifference of a particularly lazy cat and you can see why some of these people agreed to follow the path of the ninja. Mortal combat is probably a better stress relief than squishing a bean ball in your hand. But living in the dangerous world of Nabari no Ou isn't all mayhem and madness; the strength of honor and friendship are the real lessons in this story. After all, what's a few stabs to the gut between friends?
Though one of the few adults in this story, Kumohira's idealistic views very often get him treated like a child. His caring nature and sense of honor may be completely out of place in such a brutal world, but Kumohira is determined to brave through it all while following his own code. Which would probably be easier if he weren't the straight man of the group, doomed to be bullied around by small children, cheerful women, and public transportation for all of his life. Life's pretty tough for this Irish ninja, but he's surviving as best as he can with an honest heart and a devoted mind. Now if only he could get the kids to stop picking on him.
Sample Post:
There are two rules in Ninja Club. The first is that we don't talk about Ninja Club. The second is to tell all your friends about Ninja Club and wear these complementary T-shirts advertising it. And before anyone gives me a look, the second rule isn't mine. Normally, there isn't a second rule, but the leader of this camp has made it very clear that the recruitment of new ninjas will be our top priority. Sturdy ninjas, according to her specifications, so those in danger of falling apart either mentally or physically are asked not to join. I've never had to judge this sort of thing before, but anyone with the normal number of human limbs is free to join, providing they're your own.
With that out of the way, allow me to welcome you all to the official Camp Ninja Club. I'm the advisor, Kumohira-sensei, so feel free to direct any questions to me. Before we really begin, I'd like to explain to you all straight-out the reason for the formation of this club. Your camp leader has decided that the balance between two major forces within this camp are uneven. If one side grows too powerful, the other is in danger of being wiped out. The stability of camp must not be threatened. That's why, for every individual pirating illegal downloads over the internet, there must be an individual willing to ninja into threads and comment with a strong minded opinion or random, nonsensical exclamation. As some of you have already picked "brains" as your choice of exclamation, I can feel that we're off to a good start.
From the looks of things, this group's focus should stick with the mental aspects of being a ninja. Being on the field isn't as glamorous as some of you have been led to believe, and I think most of you can't afford to lose any more parts of yourselves. Strategy and intelligence are just as necessary to ninjas as running along rooftops, so we'll work on getting some physical training for everyone later. For now, let me state that war strategies are a necessary subject to study when following the path of the ninja, so my suggestion would be for everyone to pick up a copy of Conquering Those Infidels for Dummies on your way out. Puzzles are also a good way to work on your mind, so I've arranged for a small hand puzzle for each person. You have three minutes and a set of instructions written in an indecipherable foreign language. Go.
... All right, everyone who just ate their puzzle doesn't pass this test. As for the rest of you, this is way below the level of talent I was hoping for, but it'll have to do for now. A mission's just arrived, your first, and I promise that everyone will return from it safely. We will also be expected to complete this mission without fail, so I expect everyone to do their best in this. Remember, any mission, great or small, must be treated with the utmost caution and skill.
Our first mission.
Getting free cable.
Applicant #2
Character name: Kumohira Thobari Durandal
Series: Nabari no Ou
Character Age: 25
Job: English Teacher / Nindo Club Advisor
Canon: What would you do if you have the power to change the world? Nothing, if the choice was up to Miharu, a 14-year-old boy who only wishes for a normal, uncomplicated life. However, life is anything but simple when you possess Shinrabanshou (quite literally all knowledge of nature), and Miharu inadvertantly finds himself the target of various ninja who wish to obtain that power for their own purposes.
There are people in the world of Nabari who want to protect Miharu, one of whom is Thobari, a middle school teacher for all appearances . Born in Ireland, Thobari used to be a normal kid until his weeaboo of a grandfather sent him to Japan against his will to be trained as a ninja. All things considered, he still is a fairly normal person (apart from his irrational fear of vehicles) with a very un-ninja-like naivete. He also has an enormous guilt complex which enables Miharu to bully him into submission by turning on his shota charm.
Sample post:
My geography may be a little rusty, but since when do mangrove trees grow in this part of Japan? If this is an illusion, it sure is a clever one... I can't see through it at all. Ahhh, I can't believe I got lost! I knew I should've turned around when I saw that toucan... What a weird place. I wanted to ask those shabby monks I saw earlier for directions but I didn't want to disturb their ritual. Truth is, they were a little strange too. What kind of chant is "braaaiiiiinsss" anyway? Fuuma-dono, that dodgy old man... It's just like him to send me out to the middle of nowhere to "gather research materials". Hmph. At this point I wouldn't be all that surprised if this turns out to be one of his jokes.
Oh, there's someone at last. Hello! Can you point me in the direction of the nearest highway? I'll find my way from there. N-No, not the bus stop. Not the subway either. I... I can't ride on any form of transportation, but trains are the worst. I'll walk, no matter how far it is or how long it takes... You can't make me get in a car either. Why? They're dangerous, that's why! People sitting in little metal cages hurtling this way and that... It's insanity, that's what it is. Even if you are extremely careful, there's still the off chance of a freak accident. What if the traffic lights stop working all of a sudden? What if you're hit by a runaway train when you're crossing the tracks? No, there's just no way... NO. I WON'T GET IN THE CAR, LIONS BE DAMNED.
Er. I'm terribly sorry about that. Where was I? Ah, yes. If you can show me where the road is, or a village...? Summer camp? I can't quite imagine a summer camp out here in this... swamp, but if you could lead the way, that would be most helpful indeed.
There it is! I see a sign up front. It says Camp... I don't understand, there must be a mistake here. Camp... Fuck You Die? Oh, I get it now. Kairoushuu sent you to set up a trap, didn't they? Did you think that was very funny? Well, I don't want to kill you, but anyone who gets in my way will be struck down. That is what it means to be a ninja after all.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Mason
Series: Dead Like Me
Character Age: died at 27 (in 1966)
Job: Addictions Counselor
Canon: Dead Like Me tells the largely posthumous story of a girl named George Lass, who was tragically killed by a flaming toilet seat from outerspace. But as very few things about George are normal, rather than 'moving on' she learns that she is to become a Grim Reaper, taking the souls of other people before they die. Her first mentor for this morbid assignment is Mason.
Unfortunately, Mason is not a particularly good mentor. In fact, Mason isn't particularly good for anything, unless you want to know where to score the best crack. A druggie alcoholic burnout, Mason tends to fail miserably at everything he tries, especially staying clean. Not the sort of person you'd want to depend on, Mason is bumbling and sloppy, rude and whiny when things don't go his way. Despite technically being in his 60s, Mason behaves like a child fairly often, pouting and arguing and being generally immature. He rambles and bullshits and has terrible taste in undergarments. He is, however, a devoted friend and a fairly dedicated worker --and if he can happen to score some cash or a place to stay off the dead body, those are just fringe benefits. Seriously, though, there's a heart of gold and occasional eloquence underneath all the booze and body odor, it just takes its sweet time showing itself.
...but seeing as he killed himself by drilling a hole in his head, we probably shouldn't expect rocket science from the man.
Sample App:
I am so viciously fucked. Also late. Very late for my reap-------ahahaha, hello! I meant my appointment. There's a meeting, Addicts Anonymous, and I'm late. And it's very important that I'm there, so I should be going. Not that I'm an addict, no, I'm the--what do they call the person in charge--the counselor!
What? I definitely, totally, absolutely am a bloody counselor. I'm supposed to be teaching people things, like how to examine their past mistakes and make amend---wait a minute. We don't have to do me too, do we? Because then I'd have to tell the story about the time I supplemented my income with those balloons filled with the nice white powder. That was definitely a mistake; you should always double bag, kids. Not that I'm telling that story, it wouldn't reflect very well on me as group leader.
No, no, I said I'm not an addict. Drugs are bad, very very bad. They discourage hygiene and they turn you funny colors and they make it impossible to do paperwork, so you can't hold down a job, and then there's the way that they make your fingers all numb and tingly, very bad for filing. You shouldn't do drugs. Unless you want to be all numb and tingly, and if it's just your fingers then you didn't do enough. But drugs are bad and illegal, not good at all--no, I won't give you any, it's bad, weren't you listening? You should look into having your ears cleaned, mate. And your teeth brushed, your breath is bloody terrible. It reminds me of this girl I met down in California that one time who worked at a popsicle stand. She blew like---urk. I'm sorry. I didn't know she was your cousin. Please put me down. Please? If we could just skip the hurty painy bit, that would be much appreciated.
...or we could do the hurty part. Why does everyone always want to do the hurty part? That's going to leave such a bruise. I'm like a peach, you know, soft and delicate and just a little fuzzy. But not fuzzy enough, after you and the roughing up and all. Do you know where I could get a drink? Just something to take the edge off, I'm all edges right now. Sharp ones. In fact, I'm nearly edgy, you should really be afraid of me.
That's right! I'm smart and cunning and I haven't showered today, so my headlock will be something brutal. Or maybe it was the day before yesterday, or last week? I know I showered last week. Anyway, brutal. I'll give you the old one-two, one-two-four... no wait. One-two-three, yeah, just li-----
Ow. I think I made a wee from all the ow. Now I'll have to change my trousers before work.
... I don't even own another pair of trousers. Bollocks.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Amidamaru
Series: Shaman King (manga)
Age: 24 (at death)
Job: Surveillance
Canon: When you substitute pokémon with spirits in adorable miniball form, throw in some not-so-subtle references to drugs and add in a shounen fighting tournament, you get Shaman King. Asakura Yoh is a 15 year old shaman, the bridge between the human world and the spirit world. As a shaman, he is a contestant in the Shaman Fight, a tournament held every 500 years which grants the winner the ability to achieve their dreams. By Yoh's side every step of his journey is his trusty ghost partner, Amidamaru.
When Amidamaru was alive, he was a skilled samurai who was fiercely loyal to his friends. Six hundred years after his death, he hasn't changed at all. As Yoh's spirit partner, Amidamaru takes his duties seriously and always tries his very best. In other words, he is a giant softie who fails at hiding his feelings. He gets flustered over being praised, frets over the safety of his friends and becomes very excited about battling a powerful warrior or, really, anything new and shiny. Amidamaru might be far from the stereotype of a stoic, serious samurai, but in a pinch, there's really no one more dependable.
Note: permission given to mention Yoh.
Sample App:
I am grateful for this opportunity to serve you, Lady Director. Not only has his great establishment graciously took in my master for training, but to offer me a position as well... I am truly in your debt! You see, I cannot be away from Lord Yoh for too long. If something were to happen to him, I... I would offer my life as penance for my disgrace! ...although now I suppose it's far too late for that. Hahaha...
Ah, but you do not have to worry! I may be honor bound to my master, but that does not mean that I will not take on this task set before me. As I was trying to saying earlier, I am very impressed with Campeffudee. This establishment follows a wonderful philosophy. Although I've only just been introduced to the Astley Mantra since my arrival, I am truly touched by such dedication to your cause. So Lady Director, I will match the enthusiasm of Campeffudee and in the words of the wise Guru Astley, I will never give you up, nor will I let you down!
I assure you, Lady Director, I will certainly prove my worth as a counselor. Although I am a samurai, during my many years as a ghost, I have perfected my ability to observe undetected. With my spirit form, I am able to fly to great heights to survey these lands and oversee the campers' training. Also, my lack of physical form allows me to move through barriers, so I may observe that the campers are obeying the rules. Although, I see you already do a fine job preventing the campers from breaking the sex ban. W-why would they even think of those things when they're supposed be training to become stronger! However, my lady, there is this one task that I am rather confused by. It is on the top of my list, so it must be important. And dangerous by the looks of it; many have lost their lives because they were caught observing this secret ritual. But, I should have no problem, I'm already dead! Never mind the dangers, I give you my word as a samurai that I will watch these campers fap to the best of my abilities!
However, I must say I would prefer that my duties here not be carried out completely in secret. I would like to know these campers personally and form bonds of friendship with them. Haha, perhaps I am just overcome with nostalgia. You see, I grew up with many other orphans, and my friend, Mosuke, and I were the oldest and looked after everyone else, which is similar to what I'm going to do here. So, I would like to able to do everything in my power to be of help to these children. They should not hesitate to ask me to even the smallest of favors. Small favors like waking them up in the morning for training or accompanying them to the toilet after dark. I would not mind in the least, after all, ghosts don't sleep, they wait. So everyone, if they wish to, should not hesitate to think of me as their Big Brother!
Poll Vote!
Character: "Deadpool" Wade T. Wilson
Series: Deadpool, Cable & Deadpool, Marvel comics in general.
Character Age: Not revealed. He's old.
Job: Master of Asshattery; Quip Tutor
Canon: Deadpool, whose real name is presumably Wade T. Wilson, is a mercenary for hire with aspirations of greatness and doing good in the world. However things rarely go as planned for him, and the few times he does great good nobody knows or it comes at a price- like that one time he killed the Messiah. In his defense, that messiah would've taken away free will to create Paradise- the bottom line though is that nobody remembered it either way. On the plus side, he got to kick Captain America in the crotch.
Wise-cracking and often breaking the fourth wall, Deadpool is armed with more than wit- often armed to the teeth and alongside his healing factor he's a force to be taken seriously, if only he could take himself seriously. This isn't helped by his seeming insanity- his thoughts bouncing off the wall faster than super fun ball. One moment he may be referencing his love for the Golden Girls before stabbing you through the spleen, the next he may be mouthing the word spleen because it amuses him. However there is a method to his madness, he's just waiting for someone to tell him what it is.
Note: As hinted earlier, Deadpool breaks the fourth wall often,even being aware he's a comic book character. Part of this is that his thoughts often take the form of the narration yellow boxes with which he can read and control and have a discussion with. Also to those curious, the amount of bolding is quite common for his text.
Sample App:
Louisiana Swamp. Murky. Not good for dry cleaning, and a breeding ground for zombies.
Do zombies breed? Well, they're kinda like bread, green and moldy, but I don't think that counts. I wonder if they make zombie stain removal. "Zom-B-Gone, just spray on the effected area and wash with holy water."
Such burning questions, like burning undead, give away our hero's location! I am Legend! Except I don't die in the end.
Hey, those're spoilers (and out of nowhere- the best kind)! However, the last thing I need is Warner Bros. breathing down my neck for causing them a loss of DVD sales. Have you seen what the RIAA has done to old grannies? It's enough to make a grown mercenary cry. My wallet's already getting wet around the edges. That might be the swamp.
Y'never know, they might offer you a movie deal.
Never happen, best I can hope for is a bit part in some film about a hairy Canuck. Anyhow, stop boxing, more apping. Nice to know they're still working, though they look strange without any borders... maybe if I donate enough to Livejourna- hey! Stop listening in on a guy's monologue, here.
Well, lets see... what was the job again? Camp %!@#$ You Die huh? Hope it's nicer than the welcome mat. Gorilla. It's a mat now anyway. Not sure if it was actually purple before or after I shot it, but it's more more of a fuchsia now. Perhaps a lovely magenta. I hear that stuff is great for your hair. I wonder what the job was, I just kind of agreed to it after they added more zeros than a Japanese rebellion. The orders just say [insert job here]? Well that's just not creative. A quick fix with a little bit of ink.... voila! Viola. Violin. Bass. And there's always room for cello. There we go, Deadpool- Master of Asshattery; Quip Tutor. That's what happens when you give me a blank check, hall pass, or bathroom wall. Besides, what kind of summer camp doesn't have a quip tutor? An understaffed one, that's what! It's in limbo. How low can you go?
I guess I gotta work hard for the money so lets get right on with it shall we? Lesson One- be aware of your surroundings! If you were in Rome, you'd pun as the Romans do, if you're in a church, you'd do as the priests do- well maybe not. Run along little choir boy, you won't need to be showing me your rectory. Churches are great, you can make borderline offensive remarks and it's okay as long as it's common opinion! Not to mention the amazing setup you have for a 'pew pew pew' sound effect. Use real pews! Authenticity is number one. Don't forget to take a tip from the collection bowl for extra damning. I used it legitimately, so you can't censor it, nyah nyah.
Lesson Two! Know your opponent! Lets say your opponent is a big gorilla, literally or figuratively. Lay it thick with prime primate jokes, and anything else you can think of at the time. This is where having quick wits or being me comes in handy. Fuzzball, hairy, banana breath- anything that has that monkey magic. This is also a primate (and don't be afraid to repeat a joke, if it gets old it's okay as long as you're laughing on the inside) time to use more puns! Monkey business! Kids these days wouldn't know a joke if it gave 'em a big ol' monkey bite, so you'll have to dole them out by the barrelful, it'll be fun. More fun than a barrel full of- is that too much? Yeah... that's enough to make me go bananas.
Lesson Three! ...monologue! Sometimes your opponent is too dumb, deaf, or mute... or maybe they're a gigantic communist mutated clone of Helen Keller bent on world domination. As she grasps for the face of Lady Liberty in order to identify what she is genetically disposed to crush, in these cases you might not have anything to work with- or everything you can work with will keep you from being published- ^@#$ those censors, if you can't make of the handicapable, who is left? Anyway. In cases like these, just be sure to have a nice one sided conversation with them! This goes for all you prospective appers out there too, listen up! But you have to be careful, don't have heavy participation on the other side! Ask 'em questions that'll get simple and easily read answers- nothing that doesn't sound natural, got it? See just like that. Hypotheticals are great, Hypodermics are not- unless you're a doctor. Then they're just fun! But I digress, I'm the only licensed practictioner you're worried about at the moment.
Let's wrap this up for now, I'm running out of space here and I'm sure some of you are just itching to go out and quip someone, quip 'em good. Was that REM Speedwagon or Devo? Once you're an experienced quipper it'll be child's play (not the movie- those dolls creep me out- having to close their eyes when they lay down) but until then I want all of you to practice. That's your homework! Campwork. Whatever. Go and quip 5 people until they laugh or punch you in the head. Partial credit if they duct tape you into submission- it happens to the best of us, and by that I mean you and definitely never me because I'm properly equipped. Class dismissed!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Sumeragi Lee Noriega
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam 00
Character Age: 26
Counselor Job: Drinking Supervisor
Canon: Gundam 00 is set in the year 2307, when humanity is relying on solar power instead of the now exhausted fossil fuels. Constant conflict and disturbances result from warring over resources. Celestial Being is a private military organization that is created to put an end to all fightings, even if it itself has resorted to fighting. To that end, they use overpowered mobile suits to eradicate all wars.
Sumeragi Lee Noriega is Celestial Being's tactical analyst, whose task is to formulate battle plans and strategies with her near perfect predictions. She's prone to drinking to push her past sorrows away, and often veils her world-weariness with a ready smile and a carefree attitude. Her playfulness is contagious, and any success calls for a celebration and an invitation to drink. However, she is serious and calculating when the need calls for it, yet compassionate and not above interrupting rigid plans in order to protect her Gundam pilots. Sumeragi often refers to her crew as kids, even as she's not much older than them. Despite her brilliance when it comes with strategy, her past mistakes have made her live with unspoken guilt. It is only when faced with unexpected failure that Sumeragi's cheerfulness slips into depression. She is rarely seen without a wineglass (or a floating space drink container) in hand.
Sample Post:
There's something wonderful about drinking wine when there's gravity. Miss Sayre has really offered the utmost best with this selection, and I shouldn't expect less than the famed director of this establishment. I must applaud her precision and taste when choosing suitable persons to handle her affairs, as well. This is a delicate matter, after all, as it concerns quite a number of youths all well beyond the legal age of, well, various temptations. Restlessness and the rush of youth may prompt you to be wild and daring, but someone has to take the responsibility for you breaking the law. Miss Sayre may be many things, but she certainly is not a criminal. You're still too young to escape the stress of your daily life and what a life it is, through drinking. So, for now, let's just respect the law. But let's talk of cheerful things for the time being, shall we?
I know you've been cooped up here with too many restrictions, but confinement shouldn't be a reason not to celebrate. You're going through the best years of your life right now, and youth is a terrible thing to waste moping over being struck with the wrong gender or species. It may be a bit inconvenient to put up with a body that isn't yours, but nothing works better than looking at the bright side, and hoping for the best. If you stress over every little misfortune that comes your way, before you know it, you'll be turning frail and gray or whatever lighter shade of your current color. I admire the spirit that's kept up your persistence so far, so how about we make the best of that, now? A little game should bring us all closer, and ease some of those worry lines right off.
We have a good round number between all of us, and we're already gathered conveniently in the middle of camp. A little competitiveness never hurts, and I'm siding with the gorillas for the first round. The penalty for losing to the zombies will have to be solitary confinement. To make things fair for both sides, I'm willing to take a drink every time my side loses, a cold beer would be so nice right now... For a start, your very simple mission will be to evade paint balls for as long as you can. This should make the best use of your mobility skills, and it never hurts to learn a bit of strategy as you go along.
My gorillas are doing well right now, drawing the enemy in with a show of inferiority and then-- Well! I suppose you really were unprepared. That's just as I predicted, unfortunately. I guess that's a sip for me. I can understand the pain you're feeling as you face this loss, so don't give up now. Even if you keep losing your ammunition, you can still turn this around. Just stop trying to pick off lice off the zombies' heads.
...To make me run out of my camp alcohol ration already. You guys are really something.
Poll Vote!
Name: Miakis
Series: Suikoden V
Age: 23
Job: Bodyguard-for-hire
Canon Section: Once upon a time in the Queendom of Falena, there was a close knit Royal Family. Then there was epic betrayal. The Queen and her husband were killed, the Princess taken prisoner and turned into a puppet ruler, and the Prince forced out. Luckily, the Prince happened upon an object that gave him some awesome magic-type powers, aka the Dawn Rune, and was able to start a civil war to recapture the Queendom.
Miakis is a Queen’s Knight- one of a select group of soldiers that serve directly under the Royal family. Initially, she is assigned to protect the heir to the throne, Princess Lymsleia. Despite her high position, her default way of speaking is fairly informal. She is cheerful and energetic; and loves playing jokes and teasing people, usually the Princess. She also has a habit of projecting her quirks onto other people and coming out with random comments that no-one quite understands… but at least she finds them funny.
Note: Potch is the Suikoden world’s currency.
Sample Entry:
Stand up straight! Jump up and down! Now sit, boy! Spin round and round and round until the world spins with you! Great, now go take a dip in the lake with Marcy! Hey, hey, I was kidding about that last one. Mostly. You just looked so funny doing everything I said like that, especially when bits of you went flying off, but I’m not mean enough to let you jump into the lake. After all, lake monsters are soooo retro, your little zombie buddies would never let you live it down.
Anyway, enough of that. You shouldn’t let yourself get side-tracked like that, Mr Zombie-guy. Let me introduce myself, the name’s Miakis, and I’m camp’s new bodyguard-for-hire! What’s that, I hear you ask? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like. You’re a little slow, aren’t you, Mr Zombie-guy? But if that gooey stuff dripping out of your ear really is your brain, I guess I can let it slide just this once. Basically, what I’m here to do is to stop people getting hurt, and all I ask for in exchange is a bucket load of potch~ Not that I’m greedy, of course, but being the poor, wandering traveller that I am right now, it is a necessity. But how could I refuse a request from our dearest tiny Princess when all she asks is that I find her wayward brother and bring him home? I’m a good Samaritan like that. Don’t give me that doubtful look, mister, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll teach you how to be a bodyguard! Just promise me you won’t steal my gig, okay? It’s really easy, you’ll understand it, sludge for brains or no.
Step One: Find a client. For maximum results, make sure they look loaded. Step Two: Get some nice, shiny, pointy weapons. But not too shiny! Lest you accidentally blind yourself with a freak reflected ray of sunshine or something. Step Three: Stand around your client and look menacing, no one will dare go near you! Note that results may vary depending on height, weight, age and how low you can go! Step Four: Who knows what that is. Step Five: PROFIT!
But the key is to never leave your client’s side. Wherever they go, you go! Bath, bed, toilet, anywhere! Don’t let them out of your sight, ever! Take me and the Princess for example, ever since I was assigned to protect her, we’ve never been separated, not even once! Huh? Where is she now, you ask? Who knows, off doing whatever it is little shorty Princesses do, I suppose. What do you mean, ‘I said we’d never been separated’? Of course we have, she needs to go to the bathroom and stuff, following her there is just silly.
Mind if we get back to our lesson now? Honestly, good help is so hard to find these days~
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Thobari Dulandal Kumohira
Series: Nabari no Ou
Age: 25
Job: Ninja Club Advisor
Canon: The life of a modern day ninja isn't an easy one, even more so for children. Balancing schoolwork with after school chores can get pretty hectic for any kid, but add in lessons of taijutsu and ninjutsu and you can bet their tension level is through the roof. Toss in the arrival of an ultimate weapon with the indifference of a particularly lazy cat and you can see why some of these people agreed to follow the path of the ninja. Mortal combat is probably a better stress relief than squishing a bean ball in your hand. But living in the dangerous world of Nabari no Ou isn't all mayhem and madness; the strength of honor and friendship are the real lessons in this story. After all, what's a few stabs to the gut between friends?
Though one of the few adults in this story, Kumohira's idealistic views very often get him treated like a child. His caring nature and sense of honor may be completely out of place in such a brutal world, but Kumohira is determined to brave through it all while following his own code. Which would probably be easier if he weren't the straight man of the group, doomed to be bullied around by small children, cheerful women, and public transportation for all of his life. Life's pretty tough for this Irish ninja, but he's surviving as best as he can with an honest heart and a devoted mind. Now if only he could get the kids to stop picking on him.
Sample Post:
There are two rules in Ninja Club. The first is that we don't talk about Ninja Club. The second is to tell all your friends about Ninja Club and wear these complementary T-shirts advertising it. And before anyone gives me a look, the second rule isn't mine. Normally, there isn't a second rule, but the leader of this camp has made it very clear that the recruitment of new ninjas will be our top priority. Sturdy ninjas, according to her specifications, so those in danger of falling apart either mentally or physically are asked not to join. I've never had to judge this sort of thing before, but anyone with the normal number of human limbs is free to join, providing they're your own.
With that out of the way, allow me to welcome you all to the official Camp Ninja Club. I'm the advisor, Kumohira-sensei, so feel free to direct any questions to me. Before we really begin, I'd like to explain to you all straight-out the reason for the formation of this club. Your camp leader has decided that the balance between two major forces within this camp are uneven. If one side grows too powerful, the other is in danger of being wiped out. The stability of camp must not be threatened. That's why, for every individual pirating illegal downloads over the internet, there must be an individual willing to ninja into threads and comment with a strong minded opinion or random, nonsensical exclamation. As some of you have already picked "brains" as your choice of exclamation, I can feel that we're off to a good start.
From the looks of things, this group's focus should stick with the mental aspects of being a ninja. Being on the field isn't as glamorous as some of you have been led to believe, and I think most of you can't afford to lose any more parts of yourselves. Strategy and intelligence are just as necessary to ninjas as running along rooftops, so we'll work on getting some physical training for everyone later. For now, let me state that war strategies are a necessary subject to study when following the path of the ninja, so my suggestion would be for everyone to pick up a copy of Conquering Those Infidels for Dummies on your way out. Puzzles are also a good way to work on your mind, so I've arranged for a small hand puzzle for each person. You have three minutes and a set of instructions written in an indecipherable foreign language. Go.
... All right, everyone who just ate their puzzle doesn't pass this test. As for the rest of you, this is way below the level of talent I was hoping for, but it'll have to do for now. A mission's just arrived, your first, and I promise that everyone will return from it safely. We will also be expected to complete this mission without fail, so I expect everyone to do their best in this. Remember, any mission, great or small, must be treated with the utmost caution and skill.
Our first mission.
Getting free cable.
Applicant #2
Character name: Kumohira Thobari Durandal
Series: Nabari no Ou
Character Age: 25
Job: English Teacher / Nindo Club Advisor
Canon: What would you do if you have the power to change the world? Nothing, if the choice was up to Miharu, a 14-year-old boy who only wishes for a normal, uncomplicated life. However, life is anything but simple when you possess Shinrabanshou (quite literally all knowledge of nature), and Miharu inadvertantly finds himself the target of various ninja who wish to obtain that power for their own purposes.
There are people in the world of Nabari who want to protect Miharu, one of whom is Thobari, a middle school teacher for all appearances . Born in Ireland, Thobari used to be a normal kid until his weeaboo of a grandfather sent him to Japan against his will to be trained as a ninja. All things considered, he still is a fairly normal person (apart from his irrational fear of vehicles) with a very un-ninja-like naivete. He also has an enormous guilt complex which enables Miharu to bully him into submission by turning on his shota charm.
Sample post:
My geography may be a little rusty, but since when do mangrove trees grow in this part of Japan? If this is an illusion, it sure is a clever one... I can't see through it at all. Ahhh, I can't believe I got lost! I knew I should've turned around when I saw that toucan... What a weird place. I wanted to ask those shabby monks I saw earlier for directions but I didn't want to disturb their ritual. Truth is, they were a little strange too. What kind of chant is "braaaiiiiinsss" anyway? Fuuma-dono, that dodgy old man... It's just like him to send me out to the middle of nowhere to "gather research materials". Hmph. At this point I wouldn't be all that surprised if this turns out to be one of his jokes.
Oh, there's someone at last. Hello! Can you point me in the direction of the nearest highway? I'll find my way from there. N-No, not the bus stop. Not the subway either. I... I can't ride on any form of transportation, but trains are the worst. I'll walk, no matter how far it is or how long it takes... You can't make me get in a car either. Why? They're dangerous, that's why! People sitting in little metal cages hurtling this way and that... It's insanity, that's what it is. Even if you are extremely careful, there's still the off chance of a freak accident. What if the traffic lights stop working all of a sudden? What if you're hit by a runaway train when you're crossing the tracks? No, there's just no way... NO. I WON'T GET IN THE CAR, LIONS BE DAMNED.
Er. I'm terribly sorry about that. Where was I? Ah, yes. If you can show me where the road is, or a village...? Summer camp? I can't quite imagine a summer camp out here in this... swamp, but if you could lead the way, that would be most helpful indeed.
There it is! I see a sign up front. It says Camp... I don't understand, there must be a mistake here. Camp... Fuck You Die? Oh, I get it now. Kairoushuu sent you to set up a trap, didn't they? Did you think that was very funny? Well, I don't want to kill you, but anyone who gets in my way will be struck down. That is what it means to be a ninja after all.
Poll Vote!