(no subject)
Late night round! Juri's is still open, tooooooo.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. C-c-closed!
Character: William "Will" Smith
Series: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Character Age: 18
Canon: ...Really? Really? HERE GOES. Iiiiin West Philidelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days -- chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and all, shootin' some b-ball outside of the school... When a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in his neighborhood! He got in one little fight and his mom got scared. She said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."
And that's how street smart Will ended up living in his uncle's upper class home, charming his relatives with his stunning wit, undeniable charm, endearing goofiness, and sense of whimsy -- if by charming you mean annoying and inconveniencing for the purpose of teaching the viewers a moral and/or lesson. Will always has a quip, insult, or pop-culture reference to toss back at anyone and everyone, especially his cousin Carlton. Despite his tendency to womanize, tease, get caught up in wacky hijinks, smart mouth, and occasionally hilariously overreact, Will's a sweet, well-meaning person. Who just happens to have a massive ego and comedic bad luck.
Sample Post: 'ey! You! Yeah, you, Lurch! Don't you slouch away from me, man. I demand to speak to your supervisor. Look at this place! It don't look nothin' like the brochure y'all sent me. That thing's the whole reason I'm here. That and, you know, the fact that it was this or going to the Young Republicans Convention with Carlton, but if it helps you sleep at night, y'all can pretend that was competition. But I got the literature right here, see? Tri-fold, color-printed, laminated... That's impressive. The big ol' picture of some squid-lookin' thing, not so much, but, hey, if you and your homies dig sushi, I'm not gonna judge you. Now check this out -- read that right there. "Mandatory Naked Day And You." That is one hell of a title, and this camp is already one hell of a disappointment.
First of all, I don't see no cute honeys like in the pictures! Not a single one, and I've been walking through this stink-smellin', backwater Jersey-lookin' swamp for hours. Which leads me to point two! SWAMP. You're living in one! This is the 20th century, for God's sake. Is Mrs. Flintstone around? 'cause you should go tell her about this little thing we call "electricity." Trust me, she's gonna love it. And another thing! I ain't no scientist or nothin', but I sat through enough geology to know that building your little civilization next to a giant volcano? Is never a good idea. You ever heard of Pompeii, man? Well, apparently neither did your little friend Singe-y the Squirrel over there. That thing looks like it just lost a fight to a wild pack of flame throwers, straight up.
And, that's right, I got another thing. Animal cruelty, okay, dumb squirrel, I'll buy that, but did you ever stop to think about the environment? Don't act like you didn't see that Fox News special on litterin'. Honestly, y'all should be ashamed of yourselves! You trippin' if you think you can dump chemicals every which-a-way just 'cause you got a whole lotta land for your fancy little camp. Don't make me call Captain Planet on your asses. I'm sure those gorillas don't appreciate bein' purple, and to be honest, I don't appreciate it, neither. That just ain't natural.
Ha! How's that for a complaint? Oooooh-eee. I haven't been this mad since they canceled the Ben Stiller Show, shoot. Now, I'm gonna give you thirty seconds to either show me to the nearest four star cabin, or refund the $250 Uncle Phillip spent on that plane ticket so I can buy me some new video games. How's that sound? I'm countin'! And after your time's up, well. We'll handle it Philly style, you know what I'm sayin'? Basketball, one-on-one, you and me. And your square head's gonna be the ball, ya'hurr?
Poll Vote!
Character: Amada Ken
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 wiki
Character Age: 11 years old
Canon: Welcome to the world of Persona 3, the quasi-dating sim where kids shoot themselves in the head to summon giant monsters with special abilities that fight dangerous creatures known as "Shadows". These Shadows are intent on preying on humanity, inflicting their victims with "Apathy Syndrome", a condition that causes people to sit around in an emotionless, catatonic state. The Shadows only come out during the Dark Hour--a hidden extra hour of the day that comes around at the stroke of midnight. Most people don't know about this time of the day, which is where the kids come in, under the guise of a group called SEES (Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad). But wouldn't you know it, even secretly saving humanity can't keep them from being required to go to school during the day.
Take one look at Ken, the youngest member of SEES, and what you'd see is a polite, well-spoken, and respectful young man. In other words, he's someone who acts a little too mature for his age and probably needs to learn how to play outside and be a normal kid. And while all of this is certainly true, it's only half the story. Ken is gung ho, always willing and eager to fight, and has a spear and a few anger management issues to help him along. Although Ken joined SEES voluntarily, his reasons weren't exactly benign. As a result, he can be a little psychotic sometimes, but it doesn't seem to slow him down. Hey, we all have our issues, right?
Sample Post:
Well, that's different. I've heard of "gazing at the moon" before, but I've never heard of it gazing back at you.
...To be honest, I'm not sure exactly what it was I was expecting when I heard that the moon was unusual here, but this wasn't it. I can't even explain it as a blue moon--no one could call a smile like that "depressed". How does anyone manage to sleep at night with it smiling like that? Although if the rumours are true, I suppose sleep might be the last thing on anyone's mind. ...I'm sorry, I'm probably not making much sense, am I? It's just that from what I've heard, the phases of the moon can have a pretty big impact on people. And there's a lot going on around here, right? There's viruses and diseases that you can't find anywhere else... You know, kind of like Apathy Syndrome? Only I guess it's mutated somehow. The closest version I've heard about is some sort of Saturday Night Fever that causes people to move around like they're dancing.
I thought I might have run into a case of Saturday night fever earlier, actually. You see, I was hoping to ask a few questions about those rumours, so I tried asking some people in leisure suits I found earlier. They weren't interested in answering questions, though--they said that they just wanted me for my brains. You would think that they would ask someone about their grades before making statements like that. Either way, they were very persistent about this whole brains thing--it was the only thing they would talk about, so I figured I should probably just move on. The thing is, though, that they tried to follow me, and that's when I noticed the way they were moving.
Actually, it didn't look much like they were dancing to me, but it did seem to explain the strange, stilted way they were moving while they were walking towards me. I managed to get away from them, but it required some effort on my part. I'm not much of a dancer, but I thought it might be a good way to get away from them unnoticed. Apparently they're not very good at it, either, because they fell to pieces during the limbo. Unfortunately, I mean that literally. I've never met real zombies before... I guess it was more of a thriller night than Saturday Night Fever, after all.
Since I couldn't get anything out of them, there's just a few things I'd like to ask you about, if you don't mind. I'd like to try to understand what's going on around here, like if there are any other effects of the fever, so perhaps I can recognize it properly next time. I'd also like to know exactly how widespread it is within this camp, and if there's anything else I should be aware of. --What do you mean, I can't submit this without talking about how violent I am on a scale of one to ten? This doesn't involve my "serious pole". Strange, I'm pretty sure that I've never heard that name used for a spear before.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hana
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character Age: Really 18-19, but timestream craziness turns her back into her 10-year-old self, at least physically.
Canon: Kamen Rider Den-O is a touching story of friendship, inner strength, and saving the future by making sure monsters called Imagin don't destroy the past. There's also a lot of gay, but what else would you expect from a show where four color-coded "good" Imagin possess the main character to make him "climax"? But never fear, Hana is here to balance out the large amounts of gay by punching people out of trains, using forks as dangerous projectiles, and much more!
A mysterious girl from the future with a serious grudge against Imagin, Hana combines sidekick, exposition, token sort-of het, and kickass canon topper into one fluffy-skirted package. Although she mellows out a little as the series goes on, she's still serious, no-nonsense, logical, and the group's peacemaker through violence. In other situations, she comes across as a fairly normal and caring teenage girl, albeit one who can turn around and fight off ninjas with her bare hands. Also, anyone foolish enough to treat her like a child just because she looks like one will quickly find out that she's still the same amount of badass, just packed into a pint-sized body...especially since she still has something of a punch-first-apologize-profusely-later reflex when startled or annoyed.
Note: The Imagin are mentioned with permission from the players.
Sample Post:
Stupid lazy Imagin, running off whenever anyone mentions work. If there aren't going to be fights, food, or girls, they're so useless. Oh well, at least it doesn't seem like investigating the recent disturbances in this place will be very hard, even if I'm by myself. There aren't any giant monsters rampaging about or possessed people acting strangely that I can see. Not that I've seen anyone yet, but it's making me wonder why there were reports of serious time and space problems in this area, or why I was specifically told not to punch any streams while I was here. Why would anyone do that? Anyway, it really doesn't seem like anything's wrong around here. In fact, it looks very peaceful and ordinary...for a swamp. I'd say it was deserted, but someone's put up warning signs everywhere. I don't understand why; there's nothing dangerous or scary about this place unless you're afraid of getting dirty- KYAAAAAAH!
Oh, I'm so sorry! Are you all right? I didn't mean to hit you so hard, but you surprised me when you snuck up behind me like that. I'm really very sorry- I'll definitely help patch up your stomach somehow, since it's my fault. I didn't think my fist would go all the way through like that. What are you saying? Of course we need to do something about it. Stop trying to act tough and pretend it doesn't hurt. Doing that doesn't make you seem manlier, it just makes you look stupid. There's no way anyone would call a hole in their stomach "just" a flesh wound- it's way too big! And if you leave it alone, it will definitely get worse. It'll probably get infected and you could even develop gangrene! No, it won't make you green--I mean greener, but it's still a bad thing. Anyway, stay here and rest while I go find some water to clean your wound with. Don't move around too much, or something might fall off...ah, something else.
All right, I'm back! The lake didn't look very clean or like water at all, so never mind. We'll just have to make do for now. I think I have some duct tape with me, so maybe we can use that as a temporary fix. I might be able to tape the sides together and cover up most of the hole...oops, I think that made it worse. Um, I know! I'll tie my jacket around you as a sort of bandage so you stop...oozing everywhere, okay? Hold on while I take it off--no, just my jacket's enough and I can remove it myself, so can you please take your hands off my clothes? It's hard to help you like this so get your hand away from my skirt--
...ahhh, I'm sorry, now there are two holes!
Poll Vote!
Character: Beast Boy
Series: Teen Titans (animated)
Character age: Teen
Canon: When there's trouble, you know who to call. The Teen Titans, Jump City's resident superheroes, will be there to give villainy a swift kick where it counts and save the day. And like many teams they've got a self-appointed carefree practical joker on the roster: Beast Boy.
Beast Boy may be green, but it's not with envy. It's a side effect of his very impressive ability to change into any animal, even dinosaurs. He's also a strict vegetarian because, dude, would you eat an animal you've been? He considers it his job to get his teammates to lighten up with jokes and goofing around. His favorite pastimes are lounging around with video games, TV and movies. Horror films like "Wicked Scary" are particular favorites. He's easily the most relaxed of the Titans, until things get tough or somebody makes a vegetarian crack. Then it'll become clear that Beast Boy can more than hold his own in battle. Beast Boy is a bit of a spaz, with over the top reactions and frequent exclamations of "Dude!" He's not a suave as he likes to think he is but even when he does screw up he genuinely means well.
Sample app
Dude. Since when was teleportation to a creepy swamp on the agenda? A really creepy swamp. Is that a zombie? This is like right out of a horror movie. Again. Sweet! Hey guys, let's go kick some zombie butt!
Guys? Haha, very funny. You can come out now. Guys, you know splitting up breaks the first rule of surviving horror movies! Don't make me whip out "Space Zombies: The Revenge" again! Take it from the dude who's seen the special edition twenty times. Guys?
Aahh! This can't be happening! Zombies always go after the comedic relief guy first! I don't want my brain eaten; I actually use it sometimes! And then they'd groan about me tasting like tofu! There's nothing wrong with the taste of tofu! It's delicious and nutritious. Ah! That means I'm delicious! I'm going to be mobbed by zombies any second, and there's a creepy plant staring at me! I'm doomed!
Wait, why is there a creepy plant staring at me? It looks like a creepy alien plant. Cool! I bet it's the zombie's mortal enemy! Hi there, creepy alien plant! I come in peace; take me to your leader. Or on second thought, just point me in the general direction of your leader. I kinda have a policy of staying out of grabbing range of vines that look like they coulda come out of "Wicked Scary." Nothing personal. I just. . .really have to be going now. See ya!
Whew, that was close. Right. So I'm all alone in a swamp with technicolor monsters who think I'm delicious. No problem. I can handle it! I'm only the guy who read through "The Zombie Survival Guide" five times. Nothing they could pull on me would surprise me. Beastboy is the man. Yeah! All I need to do is find the convenient building and put together Beastboy's Zombie Exterminator 5000. Those zombies are toast. As soon as I can find fifty rubber bands and grape bubblegum.
Aha, and there are those convenient buildings now! Look out zombies, here I come-Aah! Creepy alien plant! How did it get here before me? Now see here, creepy alien plant, that's so not playing by the rules. Dude, you don't even have legs.
Poll Vote!
Character: Elphaba Thropp
Series: Wicked
Character Age: 18
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a child born in the land of Oz, a girl with green skin and sharp teeth who would one day become the Wicked Witch of the West. But once upon a time she was just a girl named Elphaba, a wild but intelligent child who grew to be a quick witted young woman, one who always had her nose in a book. Wicked is the story of her life and the times she lived in, in a fairy-tale land called Oz where animals speak, magic is taught as a college major, and the Wizard is not as Wonderful as everyone thinks.
A bit prickly and a bit misunderstood, Elphaba is always encouraging her friends to question things, to think and to learn. She is a champion of Animals (the uppercase A refers to animals capable of speech and intelligent thought) and a lover of science. She always says what's on her mind, and has a bit of a reputation---alright, a lot of a reputation---as a loudmouth. She is snarky and outspoken, always knowledgeable of whatever matter she decides to speak, and unafraid of standing up against authority. She is incredibly protective of those she cares about, but she doesn't care what anyone, not even you, thinks of her, despite her constant self-deprecating. Elphaba, you see, is used to being different, and for the time being has embraced standing out as not only who she is, but as a way of life.
Elphaba is taken from a third of the way through the book, when she decides not to return to Shiz.
Sample: How strange. While I would never say I'm not used to swamps, there's something a bit different about this one, isn't there? The smell is worse, that's for certain, but there's more of a charm, a lived-in feel that I wouldn't expect. And so many Animals! You toucans are certainly Toucans, but the gorillas are not quite Gorillas, are they? Grunting and knuckle-dragging aren't typically signs of sophisticated life forms, but the poor creatures did try to pronounce my name, which puts them well above many of the fraternity brothers at Shiz after a pint or two. And no life form should be held accountable for being stuck somewhere between states of intelligence... perhaps it's part of Animal evolution?
As for you, Masters Toucan, I'm surprised that as creatures with sentience, you haven't realized you have certain responsibilities. Like developing the language skills of your 'zombies' so they can be accepted as Zombies and into polite society. A little skin problem isn't the end of the world, you know. Zombies, stop plucking off your body parts and listen to what I'm saying. And stop trying to eat me, I'm not fooled... you don't need to embrace people's fear of you, looking different doesn't change your ability to learn. We'll work on this... oh, again with the eyeballs. This'll be a project, won't it? I'll have to settle here, for a time, but that's alright. I was just saying to myself the other day how I needed a change of pace, and I suppose returning to one's roots is as good as setting said roots down elsewhere.
It went something like this: "Elphie," I said to myself, "You know what's missing from your life?" I of course responded questioningly in my mind, without words since I understand myself so well. We're good friends, myself and I, and so I listened closely as I answered myself (and I was quite enthusiastic about this point), "A good swamp! Remember the days of your poor armless sister running dead into sinkholes, of scrubbing muddy scum from your boots, of being mistaken for some sort of swamp creature risen from the muck." The latter bothered me more than anything... I have sensitive ears, you see, and screams are rather grating. There was really nothing to be done about it, though. Being green is sometimes terribly inconvenient.
While I'm digressing, I suppose I should take a moment to assure you all that despite my color--which I prefer to think of as luminescent, not putrescent, and I'll blame that slip on your limited vocabulary for the time being--I am not a swamp creature. I'm not any sort of creature at all, really. Perhaps one of habit? No matter, I am in particular not a Frog, Master Toucan, and therefore I have no interest in singing for you whatsoever. Although I do know one or two about rainbows, yes...
Well maybe just the one song. But you have to go next, and while I'm all for starting the language lessons early, you really should tell the Zombies to enunciate if they're going to sing along. We'll harmonize, it'll be lovely. Except in this heat, I'll need a drink first... I feel as if I'm melting.
...I fail to see why that's so amusing.
Poll Vote!
Character: Junjun (Or Jun Jun, if you'd prefer)
Age: ...teens!
Series: Sailor Moon
Canon: While everyone got in line for the great handout of Evil Intent, the Amazones Quartet were busy on the jungle gym, snickering as the first string of firecrackers went off underneath the feet of unsuspecting would-be villains.
Junjun is a member of the Quartet and loves her some fun--particularly at the expense of someone else. She's agile, flexible, tomboyish, and very rough and tumble. Appropriate, as she's the acrobat of the group. Her first concern is something to wear away the boredom. Her second would be her sisters--to prank them or protect them depends largely on the circumstance. A distant third may be catching Helios, the guardian of the Golden Crystal, but really she'd do it for the horsey ride.
As a side quirk, Junjun is surprisingly maternal for an agent of evil, and likes to look out for kids and little boys. This, of course, is balanced out by her own unique, and often hazardous, brand of tough love.
Sample Post
Wow, an I thought 'we' were supposed to be the floor show! I mean I'm the pro, but here you are, kid, tryin' it at home. Or being tried--it was a pretty decent execution, anyway. The guy swept you right off your feet! Too bad it was show-stopping material, since yer over here and your tootsies are way over yonder.
Hey, no used cryin' over split ligaments. They're just little joshin' jabs--you're a boy, so you can deal with it, right? At least I think so cause if it was more mass you lost along the way then aaaaaaaaaah not going to think along those lines it's pretty gross.
Okay look, if ya keep whining about your problems like that, you'll never get anywhere! It's mind over matter, man! Look, I'll show ya how! First, put your mind back in your matter an we'll get t'the task at hand.
Step one: On your hands. Don't gimme no funny looks--you only got half a face and we're going for exercise, not house of horror effects. And you're the kinda person that's better in traction. Well, th'other kind of traction, except some goofy kid took your wheels. Real drag, yeah yeah--but take my advice and you'll be crossing territory like you never dreamed!
Now that you're willing to work, on your hands and chin up! They did half the hard part for ya--loss of weight means better balancing. Good, good--hold that pose, and work on one foot--er--hand, in front of the other...great! Keep going like that, and that camper brat won't know what hit 'em!
Eh, no need to thank me. I prefer kick-startin' folks instead of kicking 'em when they're down. Speaking of which...
Hiyah!
Nice trajectory, if I do say so myself! Happy trails, man! Get that kid an give 'em a piece of your mind! But not all of it though, kay?
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. C-c-closed!
Character: William "Will" Smith
Series: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Character Age: 18
Canon: ...Really? Really? HERE GOES. Iiiiin West Philidelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days -- chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and all, shootin' some b-ball outside of the school... When a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in his neighborhood! He got in one little fight and his mom got scared. She said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."
And that's how street smart Will ended up living in his uncle's upper class home, charming his relatives with his stunning wit, undeniable charm, endearing goofiness, and sense of whimsy -- if by charming you mean annoying and inconveniencing for the purpose of teaching the viewers a moral and/or lesson. Will always has a quip, insult, or pop-culture reference to toss back at anyone and everyone, especially his cousin Carlton. Despite his tendency to womanize, tease, get caught up in wacky hijinks, smart mouth, and occasionally hilariously overreact, Will's a sweet, well-meaning person. Who just happens to have a massive ego and comedic bad luck.
Sample Post: 'ey! You! Yeah, you, Lurch! Don't you slouch away from me, man. I demand to speak to your supervisor. Look at this place! It don't look nothin' like the brochure y'all sent me. That thing's the whole reason I'm here. That and, you know, the fact that it was this or going to the Young Republicans Convention with Carlton, but if it helps you sleep at night, y'all can pretend that was competition. But I got the literature right here, see? Tri-fold, color-printed, laminated... That's impressive. The big ol' picture of some squid-lookin' thing, not so much, but, hey, if you and your homies dig sushi, I'm not gonna judge you. Now check this out -- read that right there. "Mandatory Naked Day And You." That is one hell of a title, and this camp is already one hell of a disappointment.
First of all, I don't see no cute honeys like in the pictures! Not a single one, and I've been walking through this stink-smellin', backwater Jersey-lookin' swamp for hours. Which leads me to point two! SWAMP. You're living in one! This is the 20th century, for God's sake. Is Mrs. Flintstone around? 'cause you should go tell her about this little thing we call "electricity." Trust me, she's gonna love it. And another thing! I ain't no scientist or nothin', but I sat through enough geology to know that building your little civilization next to a giant volcano? Is never a good idea. You ever heard of Pompeii, man? Well, apparently neither did your little friend Singe-y the Squirrel over there. That thing looks like it just lost a fight to a wild pack of flame throwers, straight up.
And, that's right, I got another thing. Animal cruelty, okay, dumb squirrel, I'll buy that, but did you ever stop to think about the environment? Don't act like you didn't see that Fox News special on litterin'. Honestly, y'all should be ashamed of yourselves! You trippin' if you think you can dump chemicals every which-a-way just 'cause you got a whole lotta land for your fancy little camp. Don't make me call Captain Planet on your asses. I'm sure those gorillas don't appreciate bein' purple, and to be honest, I don't appreciate it, neither. That just ain't natural.
Ha! How's that for a complaint? Oooooh-eee. I haven't been this mad since they canceled the Ben Stiller Show, shoot. Now, I'm gonna give you thirty seconds to either show me to the nearest four star cabin, or refund the $250 Uncle Phillip spent on that plane ticket so I can buy me some new video games. How's that sound? I'm countin'! And after your time's up, well. We'll handle it Philly style, you know what I'm sayin'? Basketball, one-on-one, you and me. And your square head's gonna be the ball, ya'hurr?
Poll Vote!
Character: Amada Ken
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 wiki
Character Age: 11 years old
Canon: Welcome to the world of Persona 3, the quasi-dating sim where kids shoot themselves in the head to summon giant monsters with special abilities that fight dangerous creatures known as "Shadows". These Shadows are intent on preying on humanity, inflicting their victims with "Apathy Syndrome", a condition that causes people to sit around in an emotionless, catatonic state. The Shadows only come out during the Dark Hour--a hidden extra hour of the day that comes around at the stroke of midnight. Most people don't know about this time of the day, which is where the kids come in, under the guise of a group called SEES (Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad). But wouldn't you know it, even secretly saving humanity can't keep them from being required to go to school during the day.
Take one look at Ken, the youngest member of SEES, and what you'd see is a polite, well-spoken, and respectful young man. In other words, he's someone who acts a little too mature for his age and probably needs to learn how to play outside and be a normal kid. And while all of this is certainly true, it's only half the story. Ken is gung ho, always willing and eager to fight, and has a spear and a few anger management issues to help him along. Although Ken joined SEES voluntarily, his reasons weren't exactly benign. As a result, he can be a little psychotic sometimes, but it doesn't seem to slow him down. Hey, we all have our issues, right?
Sample Post:
Well, that's different. I've heard of "gazing at the moon" before, but I've never heard of it gazing back at you.
...To be honest, I'm not sure exactly what it was I was expecting when I heard that the moon was unusual here, but this wasn't it. I can't even explain it as a blue moon--no one could call a smile like that "depressed". How does anyone manage to sleep at night with it smiling like that? Although if the rumours are true, I suppose sleep might be the last thing on anyone's mind. ...I'm sorry, I'm probably not making much sense, am I? It's just that from what I've heard, the phases of the moon can have a pretty big impact on people. And there's a lot going on around here, right? There's viruses and diseases that you can't find anywhere else... You know, kind of like Apathy Syndrome? Only I guess it's mutated somehow. The closest version I've heard about is some sort of Saturday Night Fever that causes people to move around like they're dancing.
I thought I might have run into a case of Saturday night fever earlier, actually. You see, I was hoping to ask a few questions about those rumours, so I tried asking some people in leisure suits I found earlier. They weren't interested in answering questions, though--they said that they just wanted me for my brains. You would think that they would ask someone about their grades before making statements like that. Either way, they were very persistent about this whole brains thing--it was the only thing they would talk about, so I figured I should probably just move on. The thing is, though, that they tried to follow me, and that's when I noticed the way they were moving.
Actually, it didn't look much like they were dancing to me, but it did seem to explain the strange, stilted way they were moving while they were walking towards me. I managed to get away from them, but it required some effort on my part. I'm not much of a dancer, but I thought it might be a good way to get away from them unnoticed. Apparently they're not very good at it, either, because they fell to pieces during the limbo. Unfortunately, I mean that literally. I've never met real zombies before... I guess it was more of a thriller night than Saturday Night Fever, after all.
Since I couldn't get anything out of them, there's just a few things I'd like to ask you about, if you don't mind. I'd like to try to understand what's going on around here, like if there are any other effects of the fever, so perhaps I can recognize it properly next time. I'd also like to know exactly how widespread it is within this camp, and if there's anything else I should be aware of. --What do you mean, I can't submit this without talking about how violent I am on a scale of one to ten? This doesn't involve my "serious pole". Strange, I'm pretty sure that I've never heard that name used for a spear before.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hana
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character Age: Really 18-19, but timestream craziness turns her back into her 10-year-old self, at least physically.
Canon: Kamen Rider Den-O is a touching story of friendship, inner strength, and saving the future by making sure monsters called Imagin don't destroy the past. There's also a lot of gay, but what else would you expect from a show where four color-coded "good" Imagin possess the main character to make him "climax"? But never fear, Hana is here to balance out the large amounts of gay by punching people out of trains, using forks as dangerous projectiles, and much more!
A mysterious girl from the future with a serious grudge against Imagin, Hana combines sidekick, exposition, token sort-of het, and kickass canon topper into one fluffy-skirted package. Although she mellows out a little as the series goes on, she's still serious, no-nonsense, logical, and the group's peacemaker through violence. In other situations, she comes across as a fairly normal and caring teenage girl, albeit one who can turn around and fight off ninjas with her bare hands. Also, anyone foolish enough to treat her like a child just because she looks like one will quickly find out that she's still the same amount of badass, just packed into a pint-sized body...especially since she still has something of a punch-first-apologize-profusely-later reflex when startled or annoyed.
Note: The Imagin are mentioned with permission from the players.
Sample Post:
Stupid lazy Imagin, running off whenever anyone mentions work. If there aren't going to be fights, food, or girls, they're so useless. Oh well, at least it doesn't seem like investigating the recent disturbances in this place will be very hard, even if I'm by myself. There aren't any giant monsters rampaging about or possessed people acting strangely that I can see. Not that I've seen anyone yet, but it's making me wonder why there were reports of serious time and space problems in this area, or why I was specifically told not to punch any streams while I was here. Why would anyone do that? Anyway, it really doesn't seem like anything's wrong around here. In fact, it looks very peaceful and ordinary...for a swamp. I'd say it was deserted, but someone's put up warning signs everywhere. I don't understand why; there's nothing dangerous or scary about this place unless you're afraid of getting dirty- KYAAAAAAH!
Oh, I'm so sorry! Are you all right? I didn't mean to hit you so hard, but you surprised me when you snuck up behind me like that. I'm really very sorry- I'll definitely help patch up your stomach somehow, since it's my fault. I didn't think my fist would go all the way through like that. What are you saying? Of course we need to do something about it. Stop trying to act tough and pretend it doesn't hurt. Doing that doesn't make you seem manlier, it just makes you look stupid. There's no way anyone would call a hole in their stomach "just" a flesh wound- it's way too big! And if you leave it alone, it will definitely get worse. It'll probably get infected and you could even develop gangrene! No, it won't make you green--I mean greener, but it's still a bad thing. Anyway, stay here and rest while I go find some water to clean your wound with. Don't move around too much, or something might fall off...ah, something else.
All right, I'm back! The lake didn't look very clean or like water at all, so never mind. We'll just have to make do for now. I think I have some duct tape with me, so maybe we can use that as a temporary fix. I might be able to tape the sides together and cover up most of the hole...oops, I think that made it worse. Um, I know! I'll tie my jacket around you as a sort of bandage so you stop...oozing everywhere, okay? Hold on while I take it off--no, just my jacket's enough and I can remove it myself, so can you please take your hands off my clothes? It's hard to help you like this so get your hand away from my skirt--
...ahhh, I'm sorry, now there are two holes!
Poll Vote!
Character: Beast Boy
Series: Teen Titans (animated)
Character age: Teen
Canon: When there's trouble, you know who to call. The Teen Titans, Jump City's resident superheroes, will be there to give villainy a swift kick where it counts and save the day. And like many teams they've got a self-appointed carefree practical joker on the roster: Beast Boy.
Beast Boy may be green, but it's not with envy. It's a side effect of his very impressive ability to change into any animal, even dinosaurs. He's also a strict vegetarian because, dude, would you eat an animal you've been? He considers it his job to get his teammates to lighten up with jokes and goofing around. His favorite pastimes are lounging around with video games, TV and movies. Horror films like "Wicked Scary" are particular favorites. He's easily the most relaxed of the Titans, until things get tough or somebody makes a vegetarian crack. Then it'll become clear that Beast Boy can more than hold his own in battle. Beast Boy is a bit of a spaz, with over the top reactions and frequent exclamations of "Dude!" He's not a suave as he likes to think he is but even when he does screw up he genuinely means well.
Sample app
Dude. Since when was teleportation to a creepy swamp on the agenda? A really creepy swamp. Is that a zombie? This is like right out of a horror movie. Again. Sweet! Hey guys, let's go kick some zombie butt!
Guys? Haha, very funny. You can come out now. Guys, you know splitting up breaks the first rule of surviving horror movies! Don't make me whip out "Space Zombies: The Revenge" again! Take it from the dude who's seen the special edition twenty times. Guys?
Aahh! This can't be happening! Zombies always go after the comedic relief guy first! I don't want my brain eaten; I actually use it sometimes! And then they'd groan about me tasting like tofu! There's nothing wrong with the taste of tofu! It's delicious and nutritious. Ah! That means I'm delicious! I'm going to be mobbed by zombies any second, and there's a creepy plant staring at me! I'm doomed!
Wait, why is there a creepy plant staring at me? It looks like a creepy alien plant. Cool! I bet it's the zombie's mortal enemy! Hi there, creepy alien plant! I come in peace; take me to your leader. Or on second thought, just point me in the general direction of your leader. I kinda have a policy of staying out of grabbing range of vines that look like they coulda come out of "Wicked Scary." Nothing personal. I just. . .really have to be going now. See ya!
Whew, that was close. Right. So I'm all alone in a swamp with technicolor monsters who think I'm delicious. No problem. I can handle it! I'm only the guy who read through "The Zombie Survival Guide" five times. Nothing they could pull on me would surprise me. Beastboy is the man. Yeah! All I need to do is find the convenient building and put together Beastboy's Zombie Exterminator 5000. Those zombies are toast. As soon as I can find fifty rubber bands and grape bubblegum.
Aha, and there are those convenient buildings now! Look out zombies, here I come-Aah! Creepy alien plant! How did it get here before me? Now see here, creepy alien plant, that's so not playing by the rules. Dude, you don't even have legs.
Poll Vote!
Character: Elphaba Thropp
Series: Wicked
Character Age: 18
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a child born in the land of Oz, a girl with green skin and sharp teeth who would one day become the Wicked Witch of the West. But once upon a time she was just a girl named Elphaba, a wild but intelligent child who grew to be a quick witted young woman, one who always had her nose in a book. Wicked is the story of her life and the times she lived in, in a fairy-tale land called Oz where animals speak, magic is taught as a college major, and the Wizard is not as Wonderful as everyone thinks.
A bit prickly and a bit misunderstood, Elphaba is always encouraging her friends to question things, to think and to learn. She is a champion of Animals (the uppercase A refers to animals capable of speech and intelligent thought) and a lover of science. She always says what's on her mind, and has a bit of a reputation---alright, a lot of a reputation---as a loudmouth. She is snarky and outspoken, always knowledgeable of whatever matter she decides to speak, and unafraid of standing up against authority. She is incredibly protective of those she cares about, but she doesn't care what anyone, not even you, thinks of her, despite her constant self-deprecating. Elphaba, you see, is used to being different, and for the time being has embraced standing out as not only who she is, but as a way of life.
Elphaba is taken from a third of the way through the book, when she decides not to return to Shiz.
Sample: How strange. While I would never say I'm not used to swamps, there's something a bit different about this one, isn't there? The smell is worse, that's for certain, but there's more of a charm, a lived-in feel that I wouldn't expect. And so many Animals! You toucans are certainly Toucans, but the gorillas are not quite Gorillas, are they? Grunting and knuckle-dragging aren't typically signs of sophisticated life forms, but the poor creatures did try to pronounce my name, which puts them well above many of the fraternity brothers at Shiz after a pint or two. And no life form should be held accountable for being stuck somewhere between states of intelligence... perhaps it's part of Animal evolution?
As for you, Masters Toucan, I'm surprised that as creatures with sentience, you haven't realized you have certain responsibilities. Like developing the language skills of your 'zombies' so they can be accepted as Zombies and into polite society. A little skin problem isn't the end of the world, you know. Zombies, stop plucking off your body parts and listen to what I'm saying. And stop trying to eat me, I'm not fooled... you don't need to embrace people's fear of you, looking different doesn't change your ability to learn. We'll work on this... oh, again with the eyeballs. This'll be a project, won't it? I'll have to settle here, for a time, but that's alright. I was just saying to myself the other day how I needed a change of pace, and I suppose returning to one's roots is as good as setting said roots down elsewhere.
It went something like this: "Elphie," I said to myself, "You know what's missing from your life?" I of course responded questioningly in my mind, without words since I understand myself so well. We're good friends, myself and I, and so I listened closely as I answered myself (and I was quite enthusiastic about this point), "A good swamp! Remember the days of your poor armless sister running dead into sinkholes, of scrubbing muddy scum from your boots, of being mistaken for some sort of swamp creature risen from the muck." The latter bothered me more than anything... I have sensitive ears, you see, and screams are rather grating. There was really nothing to be done about it, though. Being green is sometimes terribly inconvenient.
While I'm digressing, I suppose I should take a moment to assure you all that despite my color--which I prefer to think of as luminescent, not putrescent, and I'll blame that slip on your limited vocabulary for the time being--I am not a swamp creature. I'm not any sort of creature at all, really. Perhaps one of habit? No matter, I am in particular not a Frog, Master Toucan, and therefore I have no interest in singing for you whatsoever. Although I do know one or two about rainbows, yes...
Well maybe just the one song. But you have to go next, and while I'm all for starting the language lessons early, you really should tell the Zombies to enunciate if they're going to sing along. We'll harmonize, it'll be lovely. Except in this heat, I'll need a drink first... I feel as if I'm melting.
...I fail to see why that's so amusing.
Poll Vote!
Character: Junjun (Or Jun Jun, if you'd prefer)
Age: ...teens!
Series: Sailor Moon
Canon: While everyone got in line for the great handout of Evil Intent, the Amazones Quartet were busy on the jungle gym, snickering as the first string of firecrackers went off underneath the feet of unsuspecting would-be villains.
Junjun is a member of the Quartet and loves her some fun--particularly at the expense of someone else. She's agile, flexible, tomboyish, and very rough and tumble. Appropriate, as she's the acrobat of the group. Her first concern is something to wear away the boredom. Her second would be her sisters--to prank them or protect them depends largely on the circumstance. A distant third may be catching Helios, the guardian of the Golden Crystal, but really she'd do it for the horsey ride.
As a side quirk, Junjun is surprisingly maternal for an agent of evil, and likes to look out for kids and little boys. This, of course, is balanced out by her own unique, and often hazardous, brand of tough love.
Sample Post
Wow, an I thought 'we' were supposed to be the floor show! I mean I'm the pro, but here you are, kid, tryin' it at home. Or being tried--it was a pretty decent execution, anyway. The guy swept you right off your feet! Too bad it was show-stopping material, since yer over here and your tootsies are way over yonder.
Hey, no used cryin' over split ligaments. They're just little joshin' jabs--you're a boy, so you can deal with it, right? At least I think so cause if it was more mass you lost along the way then aaaaaaaaaah not going to think along those lines it's pretty gross.
Okay look, if ya keep whining about your problems like that, you'll never get anywhere! It's mind over matter, man! Look, I'll show ya how! First, put your mind back in your matter an we'll get t'the task at hand.
Step one: On your hands. Don't gimme no funny looks--you only got half a face and we're going for exercise, not house of horror effects. And you're the kinda person that's better in traction. Well, th'other kind of traction, except some goofy kid took your wheels. Real drag, yeah yeah--but take my advice and you'll be crossing territory like you never dreamed!
Now that you're willing to work, on your hands and chin up! They did half the hard part for ya--loss of weight means better balancing. Good, good--hold that pose, and work on one foot--er--hand, in front of the other...great! Keep going like that, and that camper brat won't know what hit 'em!
Eh, no need to thank me. I prefer kick-startin' folks instead of kicking 'em when they're down. Speaking of which...
Hiyah!
Nice trajectory, if I do say so myself! Happy trails, man! Get that kid an give 'em a piece of your mind! But not all of it though, kay?
Poll Vote!