(no subject)
I can totally post another batch while procrastinating on this class essay, right? Of course I can.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Fuyumine Naoto
Series: DOGS
Character Age: Late teens to early twenties.
Canon: DOGS is a series about the seedy underbelly of an already seedy future, wherein crime bosses and lackeys reign over every nook and cranny of a city without seasons. The heroes of DOGS aren't in the business of fighting for light and justice and good -- they're coming to terms with their (likely traumatic) pasts, finding footholds in the present and mostly just trying to get by any way they can.
Rounding out the sausage fest that is most of the DOGS cast is swordswoman Fuyumine Naoto, whose goal is to find her parents' killer, whose sword she wields and whose name she was given. The attempt on her and her family's lives when she was a girl left her traumatized and amnesic, with heavy X-shaped scarring on her chest. A man named Fuyumine took her in directly after the murder, allowing her to believe he was responsible and training her in the hope that her desire for revenge would drive her to keep on living. When Fuyumine was murdered and the truth of his innocence revealed, she set off on her own in search of the real killer.
Naoto negotiates for information regarding the killer's whereabouts using any one of the following things: tact, polite reasoning, and a big freakin' katana she never goes anywhere without. While she's got no problem defending the helpless, she also happens to have no problem with cutting off people's fingers and beating their faces in if they don't give her what she wants. She's composed, low-key, and above all else, driven.
Sample Post:
Once upon a time, the information retrieval process was as easy as paying some random street desperado to get them to talk. Acceptable payment came in the form of money or threat of violence. Other things for those incapable of the lattermost. I usually don't have a problem with this sort of thing. Usually there's some way to get what you want out of someone else, as long as you're willing to play to their interests or self-preservation instinct. That's the kind of world we live in.
But here, seekers of information are apparently subject to a competitive application process. As soon as I arrived I was accosted by a local. He took me aside, asked for my name and age. Ordinarily I'm not too fond of that kind of questioning...I guess I think it's just shameless. But he didn't seem fazed at all, even after he'd lost the hands he needed to hold his clipboard and the legs he needed to stand. He said it was just a flesh wound, and that if I wanted anything I had to get in line with the maggots and worms until it was my turn.
Ah. . .but I really hadn't counted on the locals being so literal. Usually people in authoritative positions use such terms to insult or degrade underlings. But look, here they are, maggots and worms drooping out of every eye socket and orifice within reasonable viewing range. They're a lot more polite than the people they're attached to. Speaking with tiny little mouths...offering me their lunch. I had to decline. There's nothing unusual about dead meat for lunch, but it's way past its expiration date. The man whose cheek had been used in the sandwich said he'd died in February. And anyway, I don't like marble rye.
I don't think I'll be having the dessert either, if all you have to offer are human lollipops. Camp Food Unsuited for Digestion, really? Sounds. . .uninspired.
Look, I'm sorry to say I'm not really interested in this macabre Iron Chef thing you've got going on for you. The desserts are droll, the hors d'œuvres ultimately and unfortunately unappetizing. And no, it doesn't concern me if you think I need more meat on my bones. Stop salivating and listen for a second, I'm looking for information. One: I want to know what kind of camp this really is. If it's swarmed with only fools and the dead, then someone like me really has no business here. Two, I'm looking for the owner of a sword.
. . .no, no pants swords. Put those away, gentlemen. As the saying goes: move it or lose it.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Yoshitsune
Character Age: 20-21
Series: Air Gear
Canon: In Air Gear, a specialized type of motorized rollerblades have flooded the popular culture of the world. All aspects of life use them, from aerobics to racers to street punks called Storm Riders, who battle for turf and parts. Unsurprisingly, Tokyo, the home turf of our protagonists, isn't the only place in Japan that Storm Riders take to the sky. In Kyoto, three generals rule over the entire Kansai region. The most powerful of the three is the Rumble King, Yoshitsune.
Yoshitsune is an over-analytical, sly and a wholly intelligent prick, with a huge Tetris fetish. It's to the point that his style of Tetris gameplay has become a standard in everything he does: to lay the stage and then sit back and watch everything fall into place. Over the course of the story, he becomes an adviser for Kogarasumaru, even if his training methods are a bit... bizarre and extreme sometimes. Pantsing a rider in a high speed chance to show him a better way to run? Fun, but not nearly so much as forcing a beginner team to wallride down a skyscraper! This is, of course, only so long as he's not distracted by a few small perverted habits.
Sample Post:
Yaaaaaaaaa, what a predictable place. I've only been strolling around a day here, and I've already got all the patterns down. Here I'd thought it'd be a BIT more random than all that... For example, you can tell immediately that this happens often enough. Observe~ ON THIS SIDE! We have our young greenhorns running and screaming from Mr. Shambling Nasty-chan~ I can only assume these are my fellow new arrivals. Ohhhh nice shot there. Go for the eyes, though! The eyes! Shit. Brats, these days! You'd swear they'd never caught a good B flick...
And over here on this much more comfortable and safe looking side - you don't mind me taking this seat here do you? - it's all a little ho-hum isn't it? So, you've seen everything that could happen? You've been there, done that, AND tried to eat it? Twice? Impressive, impressive.
Now, don't get me wrong! I'm not looking down on your battles, your devious flora, or even your new definitions of 'water hazards,' but I've been busy looking into a few more important matters. I've given what I believe to be due consideration, and frankly, I'm disappointed. It's not what you've been doing... it's what you HAVEN'T. There's a certain thing that decides the quality of life of any hot blooded guy like you and me, got it?
Everywhere I look there's just pale-faced virgins to the wonders of real life. How many opportunities have you had to do it, right there in your fingertips' reach? It could be played off as an effect of this place so easily. And according to my research, it's only happened here ONCE. With the caliber of women here, you should be trying for the prize nightly! You all should be ashamed to call yourselves male.
BUT! I'm a good guy, y'see? Here, I'll be showing you how it's done. Right here and right now. Boys! You will become men tonight. This is going to be so awesome. FOLLOW ME!
Baby's first panty raid awaits!
Poll Vote!
Character Kinomoto Toya
Series Cardcaptor Sakura
Age 17
Canon: Cardcaptor Sakura is the story of a burgeoning magician chosen to reunite and revitalize the Clow Cards, a powerful set of magical elements that come to life at their master's will. Toya... is not the master of the Clow Cards. He's her older brother.
Knowing that Toya took on the role of protector to his younger sister Sakura after the death of their mother, one might expect the boy to be unusually serious and mature for his age. However despite his protective streak (easily a mile wide) Toya is still very much a typical teenaged sibling- often as not he can be found teasing and complaining about his baby sister, and his nickname for her (Monster) really sums the relationship up-- unless of course she happens to be in real trouble.
Apart from family matters, Toya is best known for his excellence in athletics, the ability to hold down multiple odd jobs outside of school (which serves the triple purpose of taking some strain off his family, giving him an excuse to keep an eye on Sakura when she's out, and providing him with some cash on the side for a really sweet bike), and his kindness in the face of even the weirdest of occult creatures. This is the one time at which Toya's levelheaded and gentle center really shows itself: he doesn't judge you based on your differences. Heck, you can even become his best friend.
Sample Post:
You know, I've had a lot of first days, on a whole lot of jobs, but this one's pretty unique. Is it too much to ask whatever happened to orientation? Honestly. I show up, shake a few hands… and the next thing I know I'm back out the door with a box under one arm, a manual in my hands, and my motorcycle under my butt. Okay, so it's kind of nice to ride some place where the Monster's not going show up and maybe hurt herself, and it's really nice not having to walk… but I could've waited another hour or two to get a clue. And what kind of door to door salesman needs his own bike? How far apart are these doors, anyway? And the woods. Where the heck did the woods come from? I've seen a lot of parks around home, but this is different. This is really freaking dense and if anything happens to my bike the first time I'm offroading which by the way you're supposed to have a dirtbike for-- well there's a few other people I might just pitch off the road. Over a bridge. Maybe a nice cliff.
Then there's this product.... It's not like I'm picky. If people want to buy something, sure, I'll sell it to them. But radio buttons? How much demand is there for spare parts like these? I don't care how good this training manual is, they're kidding themselves if they think I'm gonna make a killing. But fine. Let's see what the wonder book has to say.
When making your first pitch, try using one of our catchy slogans!
Okay, uh. Geez. I would, but this one doesn't even make sense. Radio Buttons: For all the times when you just don't want to put your tick in that box.
..........
I have no idea what they were thinking.
Maybe I can do this my way. Nice, comfortable, helpful. "Hey there! I don't suppose you're a music lover. Ever gotten so into it that you just twisted one of the buttons right off looking for the perfect song? ...shyeah, I didn't think so. But if you ever do, I'm there for you."
Okay. Theirs might've been better. Or maybe not. What else've they got?
Let the customer sample the product. Tell them this may be their only chance to do something that isn't abstaining abstinence.
.......
Pretty sure they were right the first time, there. Sheesh. I mean, not that I was planning on going "Hey, sir-or-ma'am! How do you feel about pushing my buttons?" to the first person I met, but now it's just a big FAT no. It's like the world's biggest slice of no-cake with no-sauce and no-whipped cream with a... radio button on top. Yeah.
Hey wait a minute, don't they call them dials?
Poll Vote!
Character: Tsukishiro Yukito
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Character Age: 17
Canon: Cardcaptor Sakura is about a little girl who accidentally opens up the Book of Clow, releasing the Clow Cards into the world. With the magic she didn't know she had, Cerberus, one of the two guardians of the book, her best friend Tomoyo and her rival!!1!, Syaoran, she is now given the responsibility of capturing all the missing cards in order to prevent evil from befalling the world.
Yukito is close friends with Sakura and Toya, her older brother. He's also one of CLAMP's typical good-at-everything guy. From sports to cooking, you name it, he can do it. Yukito's very smart, friendly, cheerful, extremely kind, and a little clueless. And did I mention he loves food? But, of course, because it's CLAMP, there has to be a catch, right? If you put all outward appearances aside, Yukito is very much not human. He was created by Clow Reed to be the temporary form of Yue, the second guardian of the book. And though they share the same body, Yukito is the more dominant personality. Yue is usually only seen when the Cardcaptor is in trouble and needs his help. Preferring to be left alone most of the time, Yue is rather cynical and socially awkward; focusing on his duty is much more important than having fun.
Note: Yukito is being taken post-series when both he and Yue are aware of each other.
Sample Post:
Well, this place certainly doesn't look anything like the park I was supposed to meet everyone at! I hope everyone else made it there safely. It's too bad, though. I don't have anyone to share this seven-tiered lunch I made with. It's definitely a waste. Especially with all of the yummy rice balls and sandwiches and octopus dogs and...well, I could keep going, but there's definitely a lot. Hopefully, I'll be able to find a few people willing to eat it with me. It'll be like an adventure! Although I should really be getting back to the main road. --Is that singing? Maybe I can ask whoever it is to at least point me in the right direction.
Oh! What an odd little clearing. I don't think I've ever seen so many different colored bears before! The rainbow in the sky and the sun with the face of a baby on it definitely add to the atmosphere. The baby is so cute, too! What's really odd, though, is that the bears are the ones singing! I didn't know they could. It definitely sounds like a cute song even though I can't really understand the lyrics. Something about teddy bears and picnics?
It's kind of strange, though, because there's no food around! And you can't have a picnic without food. I wonder if they're waiting for someone to bring them some. Maybe I should introduce myself and say hi. I mean, I have plenty to spare. Besides, it's more fun to share and eat with others, right? Hello, everyone! I'm Yukito and I was wondering if you'd be interested in eating my--oh, that's so nice of you to come meet me! Ahahah, wow, that sure is a lot of growling. Your stomachs must be pretty empty, huh? I know mine gets that way when I haven't eaten in a while. But here. You can all share this! I hope that will help some.
--Amazing! I don't think I've ever seen food get eaten that fast unless it was by me! I guess you were really hungry. What's that? You'd like to give me a group hug? Well, sure! I like hugs. And of course you can sing, too, if you'd like. I'd love to hear more of that song from before. Maybe this time, I'll actually be able to hear the words!
*Every teddy bear, that's been good
Is sure of a treat today
There's lots of wonderful people to eat
And dangerous games to play
Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
They'll chase and snack as long as they please
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
...Well! That's certainly a clever little song. And thank you for the offer to stay, but no, I really must be going. I have friends that I need to find and--well, I'm sure they would love to eat you, too! Ah, excuse me. Meet you, too.
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Nia
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 13-14ish? Never stated in canon, but clearly young/pre-teen.
Canon: Gurren Lagann is a bit like taking every mecha series ever, adding a heaping scoop of crack, and topping it off with the most ultimate shounen retard little boy ever. Need a lens flare for a dramatic speech? We got those. Shoujo bubbles or sparkles for a cute scene? Super action background for a fight or even just a simple sports scene? Gurren Lagann has those too. But what is a good shounen series without an adorable, starry-eyed Jesus? Daughter of the first Boss Villain, Nia managed to remain pure as the driven snow in a world full of oppression and genocide of any humans that escape to the surface, mostly because dear old Dad kept her locked away from the rest of the world for much of her life. However, this also left her completely ignorant to a great many things that we take for granted -- like what fists and beatings are, along with common sayings like "you make me sick."
In spite of being locked away her whole life, Nia is a very calm, brave person who believes whole-heartedly in her friends. She faces people shouting at her with a smile, and confronts those who would kill her with a determined pose and strong demeanor. She believes strongly in treating people fairly and allowing them to live how they want, so long as no harm is being done. And, for a pampered princess, she has a surprisingly good work ethic. She hates to be doing nothing while everyone around her is working hard.
Oh. And her cooking could destroy an army, unless said army happened to be made of ultimate shounen retards.
Sample Post:
Please, can someone tell me the meaning of this word, 'fuck'? It is one that I have not heard before. 'Camp' as well . . . Is that was this place is called? It all looks very lovely with so many different plants and animals; I have never seen so many of them together at once before. . . . I. I believe some of these are plants, in any case. I am not sure if plants are meant to move or speak, but they really do look very much like them. It is a truly impressive land!
I would say that you must all be very lucky, but I can see that there was fighting in your village recently. These poor wounded people that are forced to live on the fringes, can you not see that they need your help? Their injuries may make them look gruesome, but are they not still human? Even though they appear to have difficulty holding themselves together at times, that does not make it right to leave them to the wild like this. As you say here, it is common courtesy to lend a hand when someone is in need. I am sure they mean no harm by chewing a little.
But it is not only the humans we should think of. Even the plants here seem to be treated poorly. I know it must be very strange to see them move and speak as it is not something I have heard of before myself. Still, they seem to be very peaceful! They only want to be watered and to have their feedings on time. I did not know plants needed to eat, but there is a little plant here insisting that it needs to eat now. It says to ask for someone called Seymour.
. . .? If there is no one who will come forward, I will share my own lunch with it. I hope it won't mind cooked meat, but I have nothing else with me. There, do you see now? It is not difficult to get along with the other creatures here. It only takes a little bit of effort, and everyone will be much happier for it in the end. Even this little plant can compromise for some cooked meet. . . . Although, is it normal for the plants here to sleep? This one I was feeding fell over quite suddenly. I suppose it must have been very tired.
Well, I will let the little one continue to sleep. I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to listen, and I hope that you can agree with me. I'm sure that if we all can show a little heart, we'll be able to- T-to.
A-ah. I believe t-that may be a little too much heart.
Applicant #2
Character: Nia
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 13-14
Canon: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann follows Simon, his older brother, Kamina, Gurren Brigade and their giant mechas as they battle the Beastmen and their ruler the Helix King for their right to live above the surface. Except imagine that was said with manly conviction, one finger in the air, and lense flare because that is how they roll.
Nia is a sparkly princess jesus the daughter of the Helix King until he decided to abandon her. As a result of her incredibly sheltered life, Nia is innocent and has a tendency to cheerfully bombard other people with questions. Despite her naivety, she is aware of the differences between right and wrong (at least about murder), thinks things through logically (sometimes too literally), and remains calm in the face of danger (or putting too much faith in others). Abandoned, Nia no longer considers herself as a princess and eagerly wishes to help the Gurren Brigade. She can't pilot a robot, handle a rifle or fight, but one bite of her cooking will certainly send someone to the hospital… unintentionally.
(note: Permission from tiny!Simon-mun to name drop)
Sample Post:
Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Nia.
Congratulations for digging yourself out of the ground. But sir, are you all right? Your skin is all green and your arm is missing. Ah, I see! You can stick it back on. I have never seen that before. So not only are there humans in different shapes and sizes with different faces, but there are also people that are green and can put themselves back together after they've fallen apart. Can my friends do that? Can I do that? I will have to ask. Although you don't seem to say anything, I have learnt a lot. Thank you for demonstrating.
Although you put your arm back on are you really all right? Your stomach is making noises and has holes through them. Are you perhaps very hungry? Is that what happens when you don't eat for too long? Is there anything you want?
Oh, you spoke. Hello.
…Brains? What do you mean by brains? Were brains a delicacy amongst your underground community? If I remember correctly, I am told that brains are inside our heads. You nodded, so that is true? In that case how would you get brains to eat if they're in someone else's head?
Please stop that. You have no reason to attack me. I have done nothing wrong to you. ...Brains? It is for my brains, so you can eat? I see. That is wrong. Have you never thought about how morally wrong it is to kill someone? If you have to kill someone to get their brains, it is better off not to eat brains at all!
Here. This is the lunchbox I made for Simon. I will have to apologize and make him a new one, but please have it.
Here say, "aaaaaah."
Isn't that much better? Until my friends come for me, I will make things for you so please eat a lot. There are actually many things to eat that won't cause any suffering for someone else.
…Are you all right? You've stopped moving.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Fuyumine Naoto
Series: DOGS
Character Age: Late teens to early twenties.
Canon: DOGS is a series about the seedy underbelly of an already seedy future, wherein crime bosses and lackeys reign over every nook and cranny of a city without seasons. The heroes of DOGS aren't in the business of fighting for light and justice and good -- they're coming to terms with their (likely traumatic) pasts, finding footholds in the present and mostly just trying to get by any way they can.
Rounding out the sausage fest that is most of the DOGS cast is swordswoman Fuyumine Naoto, whose goal is to find her parents' killer, whose sword she wields and whose name she was given. The attempt on her and her family's lives when she was a girl left her traumatized and amnesic, with heavy X-shaped scarring on her chest. A man named Fuyumine took her in directly after the murder, allowing her to believe he was responsible and training her in the hope that her desire for revenge would drive her to keep on living. When Fuyumine was murdered and the truth of his innocence revealed, she set off on her own in search of the real killer.
Naoto negotiates for information regarding the killer's whereabouts using any one of the following things: tact, polite reasoning, and a big freakin' katana she never goes anywhere without. While she's got no problem defending the helpless, she also happens to have no problem with cutting off people's fingers and beating their faces in if they don't give her what she wants. She's composed, low-key, and above all else, driven.
Sample Post:
Once upon a time, the information retrieval process was as easy as paying some random street desperado to get them to talk. Acceptable payment came in the form of money or threat of violence. Other things for those incapable of the lattermost. I usually don't have a problem with this sort of thing. Usually there's some way to get what you want out of someone else, as long as you're willing to play to their interests or self-preservation instinct. That's the kind of world we live in.
But here, seekers of information are apparently subject to a competitive application process. As soon as I arrived I was accosted by a local. He took me aside, asked for my name and age. Ordinarily I'm not too fond of that kind of questioning...I guess I think it's just shameless. But he didn't seem fazed at all, even after he'd lost the hands he needed to hold his clipboard and the legs he needed to stand. He said it was just a flesh wound, and that if I wanted anything I had to get in line with the maggots and worms until it was my turn.
Ah. . .but I really hadn't counted on the locals being so literal. Usually people in authoritative positions use such terms to insult or degrade underlings. But look, here they are, maggots and worms drooping out of every eye socket and orifice within reasonable viewing range. They're a lot more polite than the people they're attached to. Speaking with tiny little mouths...offering me their lunch. I had to decline. There's nothing unusual about dead meat for lunch, but it's way past its expiration date. The man whose cheek had been used in the sandwich said he'd died in February. And anyway, I don't like marble rye.
I don't think I'll be having the dessert either, if all you have to offer are human lollipops. Camp Food Unsuited for Digestion, really? Sounds. . .uninspired.
Look, I'm sorry to say I'm not really interested in this macabre Iron Chef thing you've got going on for you. The desserts are droll, the hors d'œuvres ultimately and unfortunately unappetizing. And no, it doesn't concern me if you think I need more meat on my bones. Stop salivating and listen for a second, I'm looking for information. One: I want to know what kind of camp this really is. If it's swarmed with only fools and the dead, then someone like me really has no business here. Two, I'm looking for the owner of a sword.
. . .no, no pants swords. Put those away, gentlemen. As the saying goes: move it or lose it.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Yoshitsune
Character Age: 20-21
Series: Air Gear
Canon: In Air Gear, a specialized type of motorized rollerblades have flooded the popular culture of the world. All aspects of life use them, from aerobics to racers to street punks called Storm Riders, who battle for turf and parts. Unsurprisingly, Tokyo, the home turf of our protagonists, isn't the only place in Japan that Storm Riders take to the sky. In Kyoto, three generals rule over the entire Kansai region. The most powerful of the three is the Rumble King, Yoshitsune.
Yoshitsune is an over-analytical, sly and a wholly intelligent prick, with a huge Tetris fetish. It's to the point that his style of Tetris gameplay has become a standard in everything he does: to lay the stage and then sit back and watch everything fall into place. Over the course of the story, he becomes an adviser for Kogarasumaru, even if his training methods are a bit... bizarre and extreme sometimes. Pantsing a rider in a high speed chance to show him a better way to run? Fun, but not nearly so much as forcing a beginner team to wallride down a skyscraper! This is, of course, only so long as he's not distracted by a few small perverted habits.
Sample Post:
Yaaaaaaaaa, what a predictable place. I've only been strolling around a day here, and I've already got all the patterns down. Here I'd thought it'd be a BIT more random than all that... For example, you can tell immediately that this happens often enough. Observe~ ON THIS SIDE! We have our young greenhorns running and screaming from Mr. Shambling Nasty-chan~ I can only assume these are my fellow new arrivals. Ohhhh nice shot there. Go for the eyes, though! The eyes! Shit. Brats, these days! You'd swear they'd never caught a good B flick...
And over here on this much more comfortable and safe looking side - you don't mind me taking this seat here do you? - it's all a little ho-hum isn't it? So, you've seen everything that could happen? You've been there, done that, AND tried to eat it? Twice? Impressive, impressive.
Now, don't get me wrong! I'm not looking down on your battles, your devious flora, or even your new definitions of 'water hazards,' but I've been busy looking into a few more important matters. I've given what I believe to be due consideration, and frankly, I'm disappointed. It's not what you've been doing... it's what you HAVEN'T. There's a certain thing that decides the quality of life of any hot blooded guy like you and me, got it?
Everywhere I look there's just pale-faced virgins to the wonders of real life. How many opportunities have you had to do it, right there in your fingertips' reach? It could be played off as an effect of this place so easily. And according to my research, it's only happened here ONCE. With the caliber of women here, you should be trying for the prize nightly! You all should be ashamed to call yourselves male.
BUT! I'm a good guy, y'see? Here, I'll be showing you how it's done. Right here and right now. Boys! You will become men tonight. This is going to be so awesome. FOLLOW ME!
Baby's first panty raid awaits!
Poll Vote!
Character Kinomoto Toya
Series Cardcaptor Sakura
Age 17
Canon: Cardcaptor Sakura is the story of a burgeoning magician chosen to reunite and revitalize the Clow Cards, a powerful set of magical elements that come to life at their master's will. Toya... is not the master of the Clow Cards. He's her older brother.
Knowing that Toya took on the role of protector to his younger sister Sakura after the death of their mother, one might expect the boy to be unusually serious and mature for his age. However despite his protective streak (easily a mile wide) Toya is still very much a typical teenaged sibling- often as not he can be found teasing and complaining about his baby sister, and his nickname for her (Monster) really sums the relationship up-- unless of course she happens to be in real trouble.
Apart from family matters, Toya is best known for his excellence in athletics, the ability to hold down multiple odd jobs outside of school (which serves the triple purpose of taking some strain off his family, giving him an excuse to keep an eye on Sakura when she's out, and providing him with some cash on the side for a really sweet bike), and his kindness in the face of even the weirdest of occult creatures. This is the one time at which Toya's levelheaded and gentle center really shows itself: he doesn't judge you based on your differences. Heck, you can even become his best friend.
Sample Post:
You know, I've had a lot of first days, on a whole lot of jobs, but this one's pretty unique. Is it too much to ask whatever happened to orientation? Honestly. I show up, shake a few hands… and the next thing I know I'm back out the door with a box under one arm, a manual in my hands, and my motorcycle under my butt. Okay, so it's kind of nice to ride some place where the Monster's not going show up and maybe hurt herself, and it's really nice not having to walk… but I could've waited another hour or two to get a clue. And what kind of door to door salesman needs his own bike? How far apart are these doors, anyway? And the woods. Where the heck did the woods come from? I've seen a lot of parks around home, but this is different. This is really freaking dense and if anything happens to my bike the first time I'm offroading which by the way you're supposed to have a dirtbike for-- well there's a few other people I might just pitch off the road. Over a bridge. Maybe a nice cliff.
Then there's this product.... It's not like I'm picky. If people want to buy something, sure, I'll sell it to them. But radio buttons? How much demand is there for spare parts like these? I don't care how good this training manual is, they're kidding themselves if they think I'm gonna make a killing. But fine. Let's see what the wonder book has to say.
When making your first pitch, try using one of our catchy slogans!
Okay, uh. Geez. I would, but this one doesn't even make sense. Radio Buttons: For all the times when you just don't want to put your tick in that box.
..........
I have no idea what they were thinking.
Maybe I can do this my way. Nice, comfortable, helpful. "Hey there! I don't suppose you're a music lover. Ever gotten so into it that you just twisted one of the buttons right off looking for the perfect song? ...shyeah, I didn't think so. But if you ever do, I'm there for you."
Okay. Theirs might've been better. Or maybe not. What else've they got?
Let the customer sample the product. Tell them this may be their only chance to do something that isn't abstaining abstinence.
.......
Pretty sure they were right the first time, there. Sheesh. I mean, not that I was planning on going "Hey, sir-or-ma'am! How do you feel about pushing my buttons?" to the first person I met, but now it's just a big FAT no. It's like the world's biggest slice of no-cake with no-sauce and no-whipped cream with a... radio button on top. Yeah.
Hey wait a minute, don't they call them dials?
Poll Vote!
Character: Tsukishiro Yukito
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Character Age: 17
Canon: Cardcaptor Sakura is about a little girl who accidentally opens up the Book of Clow, releasing the Clow Cards into the world. With the magic she didn't know she had, Cerberus, one of the two guardians of the book, her best friend Tomoyo and her rival!!1!, Syaoran, she is now given the responsibility of capturing all the missing cards in order to prevent evil from befalling the world.
Yukito is close friends with Sakura and Toya, her older brother. He's also one of CLAMP's typical good-at-everything guy. From sports to cooking, you name it, he can do it. Yukito's very smart, friendly, cheerful, extremely kind, and a little clueless. And did I mention he loves food? But, of course, because it's CLAMP, there has to be a catch, right? If you put all outward appearances aside, Yukito is very much not human. He was created by Clow Reed to be the temporary form of Yue, the second guardian of the book. And though they share the same body, Yukito is the more dominant personality. Yue is usually only seen when the Cardcaptor is in trouble and needs his help. Preferring to be left alone most of the time, Yue is rather cynical and socially awkward; focusing on his duty is much more important than having fun.
Note: Yukito is being taken post-series when both he and Yue are aware of each other.
Sample Post:
Well, this place certainly doesn't look anything like the park I was supposed to meet everyone at! I hope everyone else made it there safely. It's too bad, though. I don't have anyone to share this seven-tiered lunch I made with. It's definitely a waste. Especially with all of the yummy rice balls and sandwiches and octopus dogs and...well, I could keep going, but there's definitely a lot. Hopefully, I'll be able to find a few people willing to eat it with me. It'll be like an adventure! Although I should really be getting back to the main road. --Is that singing? Maybe I can ask whoever it is to at least point me in the right direction.
Oh! What an odd little clearing. I don't think I've ever seen so many different colored bears before! The rainbow in the sky and the sun with the face of a baby on it definitely add to the atmosphere. The baby is so cute, too! What's really odd, though, is that the bears are the ones singing! I didn't know they could. It definitely sounds like a cute song even though I can't really understand the lyrics. Something about teddy bears and picnics?
It's kind of strange, though, because there's no food around! And you can't have a picnic without food. I wonder if they're waiting for someone to bring them some. Maybe I should introduce myself and say hi. I mean, I have plenty to spare. Besides, it's more fun to share and eat with others, right? Hello, everyone! I'm Yukito and I was wondering if you'd be interested in eating my--oh, that's so nice of you to come meet me! Ahahah, wow, that sure is a lot of growling. Your stomachs must be pretty empty, huh? I know mine gets that way when I haven't eaten in a while. But here. You can all share this! I hope that will help some.
--Amazing! I don't think I've ever seen food get eaten that fast unless it was by me! I guess you were really hungry. What's that? You'd like to give me a group hug? Well, sure! I like hugs. And of course you can sing, too, if you'd like. I'd love to hear more of that song from before. Maybe this time, I'll actually be able to hear the words!
*Every teddy bear, that's been good
Is sure of a treat today
There's lots of wonderful people to eat
And dangerous games to play
Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
They'll chase and snack as long as they please
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
...Well! That's certainly a clever little song. And thank you for the offer to stay, but no, I really must be going. I have friends that I need to find and--well, I'm sure they would love to eat you, too! Ah, excuse me. Meet you, too.
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Nia
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 13-14ish? Never stated in canon, but clearly young/pre-teen.
Canon: Gurren Lagann is a bit like taking every mecha series ever, adding a heaping scoop of crack, and topping it off with the most ultimate shounen retard little boy ever. Need a lens flare for a dramatic speech? We got those. Shoujo bubbles or sparkles for a cute scene? Super action background for a fight or even just a simple sports scene? Gurren Lagann has those too. But what is a good shounen series without an adorable, starry-eyed Jesus? Daughter of the first Boss Villain, Nia managed to remain pure as the driven snow in a world full of oppression and genocide of any humans that escape to the surface, mostly because dear old Dad kept her locked away from the rest of the world for much of her life. However, this also left her completely ignorant to a great many things that we take for granted -- like what fists and beatings are, along with common sayings like "you make me sick."
In spite of being locked away her whole life, Nia is a very calm, brave person who believes whole-heartedly in her friends. She faces people shouting at her with a smile, and confronts those who would kill her with a determined pose and strong demeanor. She believes strongly in treating people fairly and allowing them to live how they want, so long as no harm is being done. And, for a pampered princess, she has a surprisingly good work ethic. She hates to be doing nothing while everyone around her is working hard.
Oh. And her cooking could destroy an army, unless said army happened to be made of ultimate shounen retards.
Sample Post:
Please, can someone tell me the meaning of this word, 'fuck'? It is one that I have not heard before. 'Camp' as well . . . Is that was this place is called? It all looks very lovely with so many different plants and animals; I have never seen so many of them together at once before. . . . I. I believe some of these are plants, in any case. I am not sure if plants are meant to move or speak, but they really do look very much like them. It is a truly impressive land!
I would say that you must all be very lucky, but I can see that there was fighting in your village recently. These poor wounded people that are forced to live on the fringes, can you not see that they need your help? Their injuries may make them look gruesome, but are they not still human? Even though they appear to have difficulty holding themselves together at times, that does not make it right to leave them to the wild like this. As you say here, it is common courtesy to lend a hand when someone is in need. I am sure they mean no harm by chewing a little.
But it is not only the humans we should think of. Even the plants here seem to be treated poorly. I know it must be very strange to see them move and speak as it is not something I have heard of before myself. Still, they seem to be very peaceful! They only want to be watered and to have their feedings on time. I did not know plants needed to eat, but there is a little plant here insisting that it needs to eat now. It says to ask for someone called Seymour.
. . .? If there is no one who will come forward, I will share my own lunch with it. I hope it won't mind cooked meat, but I have nothing else with me. There, do you see now? It is not difficult to get along with the other creatures here. It only takes a little bit of effort, and everyone will be much happier for it in the end. Even this little plant can compromise for some cooked meet. . . . Although, is it normal for the plants here to sleep? This one I was feeding fell over quite suddenly. I suppose it must have been very tired.
Well, I will let the little one continue to sleep. I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to listen, and I hope that you can agree with me. I'm sure that if we all can show a little heart, we'll be able to- T-to.
A-ah. I believe t-that may be a little too much heart.
Applicant #2
Character: Nia
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 13-14
Canon: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann follows Simon, his older brother, Kamina, Gurren Brigade and their giant mechas as they battle the Beastmen and their ruler the Helix King for their right to live above the surface. Except imagine that was said with manly conviction, one finger in the air, and lense flare because that is how they roll.
Nia is a sparkly princess jesus the daughter of the Helix King until he decided to abandon her. As a result of her incredibly sheltered life, Nia is innocent and has a tendency to cheerfully bombard other people with questions. Despite her naivety, she is aware of the differences between right and wrong (at least about murder), thinks things through logically (sometimes too literally), and remains calm in the face of danger (or putting too much faith in others). Abandoned, Nia no longer considers herself as a princess and eagerly wishes to help the Gurren Brigade. She can't pilot a robot, handle a rifle or fight, but one bite of her cooking will certainly send someone to the hospital… unintentionally.
(note: Permission from tiny!Simon-mun to name drop)
Sample Post:
Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Nia.
Congratulations for digging yourself out of the ground. But sir, are you all right? Your skin is all green and your arm is missing. Ah, I see! You can stick it back on. I have never seen that before. So not only are there humans in different shapes and sizes with different faces, but there are also people that are green and can put themselves back together after they've fallen apart. Can my friends do that? Can I do that? I will have to ask. Although you don't seem to say anything, I have learnt a lot. Thank you for demonstrating.
Although you put your arm back on are you really all right? Your stomach is making noises and has holes through them. Are you perhaps very hungry? Is that what happens when you don't eat for too long? Is there anything you want?
Oh, you spoke. Hello.
…Brains? What do you mean by brains? Were brains a delicacy amongst your underground community? If I remember correctly, I am told that brains are inside our heads. You nodded, so that is true? In that case how would you get brains to eat if they're in someone else's head?
Please stop that. You have no reason to attack me. I have done nothing wrong to you. ...Brains? It is for my brains, so you can eat? I see. That is wrong. Have you never thought about how morally wrong it is to kill someone? If you have to kill someone to get their brains, it is better off not to eat brains at all!
Here. This is the lunchbox I made for Simon. I will have to apologize and make him a new one, but please have it.
Here say, "aaaaaah."
Isn't that much better? Until my friends come for me, I will make things for you so please eat a lot. There are actually many things to eat that won't cause any suffering for someone else.
…Are you all right? You've stopped moving.
Poll Vote!