(no subject)
MORE VOTES? IN OUR VOTING COMM? It's obviously more likely than you think.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
VOTE FOR YOUR COUNTRY. SORRY had a surprise work shift. Closed!
Character: Rebecca "Becky" Miyamoto
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Age: 11
Canon: At Peach Moon Academy there are two rules: 1) The fourth wall is flimsy, and 2) The only thing that ever makes sense, is that absolutely nothing ever makes sense. Aliens, time travelers, and... emo bunnies are but a small portion of the students' everyday life. This should explain why no one questions why the homeroom teacher for class 1-C is an eleven-year-old girl who apparently never got career advice.
Despite being a genius who graduated from MIT with a triple major, Becky acts her age most of the time. Kind of. She has no qualms with yelling at her students, calling them names, and flipping them off whenever they misbehave -- which is about 99.9% of the time. At first glance, Becky seems bossy, lazy, and incredibly immature, but deep down she DOES care about people a great deal and will always try her best to protect them from random hazards, and help them out with their personal problems. ...Except maybe for those times when they bully her, and she ends up hiding behind a curtain, whimpering, because they're all BIG FAT MEANIES OMG U GUYS RESPECT ME I'M THE TEACHER. ;o;
It's hard out here for a loli teacher, yo.
Sample Post:
For the last time today, would you stop throwing your limbs at each other?! It's annoying and distracting, not to mention gross. Now, Green Teeth, go pick up your head and solve this equation or I swear I'll confiscate your arms for a week. Yeah, you can help him-- her if you want, Decaying Tongue. And don't give me that look! You can't expect me to learn your names when they all sound like brrrgh, argh, and gurgle. Not your fault, but it makes me wonder what your parents were thinking.
Haah... and to think it's only the first period... Hopefully, the gorillas won't be as bad, but I'm still not happy that they had to be put in the same class as the toucans. Why did they even let them take the placement test in the same room? It's obvious the birds cheated by reading their minds! S-So creepy. Wahh, someone remind why I decided to apply for this summer job, again?
Oh right, awesome facilities and free lunch every day. ♥ Speaking of which! Hey, smelly fools, can you tell me where the teachers' dorms and stuff are? I've already seen your dirty pool, the walrus-infested onsen, and all of your lame cabins, but I want to know where my luxuries are. I didn't come all the way from Japan for nothing, you know?
...
W-What? Of course I have a job here! What kinda question is that? I was told my application was so outstanding it got over nine thousand points out of three-hundred, and- ... "counselors don't open until June the 29th?" What's that even supposed to mean?! Just shut up and do as I say, s-stop laughing you idiots, I'm the teacher, you know!
--A-And what do YOU want? Stop staring at me like that, I don't have class with you until after reces- ... C-candy? ...For me? What do you think I am? An innocent little girl who will just accept candy from a suspicious looking bear who wants me to follow him into his unmarked vehicle?! NO WAY!
Now bring that white van of yours here if you don't want me to kick you again, and hurry up, I don't have all day! Geez, kids these days. I hope he has some caramel popcorn in there.
Poll So?
Character: Ryotou Kouseki
Series: Koutetsu Sangokushi
Character Age: Not given; estimated between the ages of 11 and 15.
Canon: Ah, Koutetsu Sangokushi. Where the men are men, and the women are, too. Set in the Three Kingdoms Era of Chinese history, this story focuses on the Wu (Go) kingdom and the adventures of one Rikuson Hakugen as he fights for truth, justice, and copious amounts of angst.
Ryotou Kouseki is the cocky young son of Go general Ryosou Kouketsu, a stoic man whom Ryotou desperately wishes to earn the respect of and one day join on the battlefield. While both respect "The Crimson Warrior" (Rikuson) and his way of wandering the countryside and fighting for justice, Ryotou utterly worships him. So much, in fact, that at their first meeting, Ryotou swears brotherhood with him before Rikuson even realizes what's going on. Needless to say, Ryotou is one of the more impulsive characters in Koutetsu Sangokushi; a trait his father dismisses as "childish."
Sample Post:
Oh MAN this is the best training camp ever! Not even two seconds in and I can already tell this is going to be HELLA fun! So what is this, huh? Some kind of mock monster invasion? Maybe even a real one? Never fear, citizens of Training Camp Fuck You Die! (Oh SHIT that's the sweetest name ever) I am an officer of Go- Ryotou Kouseki! And all these monsters? Are going DOWN! ...Right after I flip through this training manual thing. You know, the one that says "Read me before you start messing shit up."
"Dear victim, welcome to camp blah blah blah mandatory asscrack of dawn breakfast blah blah eat the mystery soup blah blah murder blah blah--" oh forget it! This thing's gotta be like three whole pages long. I've got a better way to read it! Page one, page two, page three! There! Got all the basics down! Time to kick some ass!
So which of you baddies am I gonna start on? Option One? A dead-looking guy with one arm. Pass. Option two? A goat. Pass. Option three? Holy SHIT what is that thing supposed to be? A giant purple monkey? Well hey, you're the most threatening thing I've seen so far, so I'll give you a shot. C'mon, bring it on! Monkey want a banana? Ook ook! Yeah, that's right, you heard me! Whaddya gonna do about-- WHOA! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Let's try actually swinging that fist somewhere near where I actually AM, huh?
Hah! Missed me again! And agHRRRRCK--
y...yeah that was a lucky grab okay let go of my--!
OOF! What? What was that? Ahaha, you're DAMN RIGHT "It's a trap!" Bet you weren't expecting THAT, were you? Hey, c'mon, where are you going, huh? Don't tell me you're just gonna run away after getting one lucky shot in! Well FINE, go ahead and run! You're not worth my time! Man, what a gyp. Haah, maybe I actually SHOULD have read that manual. Maybe there's something in there about the monkeys... nope, nope, nope, nope... ah, here we are! "Prefers nubile young girls?" I wish I knew that before it GRABBED m-- oh. Oh. Hahahaha, camp. I see what you did there.
Poll So?
Character: Yoshiki Kitazawa
Series: Gravitation
Character Age: approximately 19~20
Canon: The world of Gravitation is a very special place. In this case, "special" means a high level of crack-induced violence and comedy shoved in amongst pure angst and really hot guys. Mostly, though, it's about the hot guys that are banging one another and the rear windows that the mangaka is so fond of.
Yoshiki Kitazawa is pretty easy to amuse. He delights in sparkling and heart-marking, especially at someone else's pain. Despite all that, he has no real ill will and is incapable of hate. He's really pretty low-key and easy going. He is prone to bouts of terrible sulking over his plain, boring looks, but it's okay --- a minute or so later he'll be all smiles and joy again. It's hard to keep him down. It's even harder to take him seriously, as his out-of-it personality and glimmering aura tend to keep people guessing.
Above all, Yoshiki is best known for his giant rack. Yes, that's right. He's in the middle of a series of male-to-female transgender surgeries. So really, she is sweet and overenthusiastic, but with a tendency to accidentally drop into her "man voice." But it's only a little bit disconcerting to hear male vocals come from a hot chick, right?
Sample Post:
Hey-ho, deep South~! ♥
Wo-o-ow, would you just look at this place! You know, I always thought Mardis Gras was a lot earlier in the year. Aren't you all supposed to be over and done with it? I guess that doesn't matter! This place is fantastic! Is it a theme park? Yeah, I guess it must be. Why else would I get such a cool tour guide, eh, Gorilla-san?
Yeah! I know! This place has everything! So what's the big attraction? Rides? Ghosts? Animals?
Must be! ♥ Let's see the brochure here...
Wow, that's some creative touch. It's a pretty bad one, too. Who are you paying to write this, Gorilla-san? They're doing it wrong. "Erotic Hot Hot Walruses?" No way can that be right! You're not supposed to repeat words like that in English. Don't they teach you that in schools down here? What else... "Goatse?" Kyaaa, so that's the theme!
Hey, Gorilla-san, are you sure this is a park for ---
Okay, I know I'm pretty forgettable, so it's understandable. I guess it's alright if even after talking to me this whole time you couldn't be bothered to remember me, but you don't have to throw things to get your point across...
You work out, don't you? Don't look so modest, I can tell. That barrel was huge! Oh Gorilla-san, you're so strong and manly. I get to help out here now, right? I saw all those "Oh God please help us!" signs earlier, and how awesome would it be to get to work in such a cool theme park? ♥ Uwaaah, yes, thank you! So if I go and put on this gorilla costume, will I get to greet everyone else who comes in? If I, like, get the job?
Score!
All right, you! Let's get going! That lake monster isn't going to feed herself! Buy delicious chicken for her here! And don't forget souvenirs! We've got t-shirts in all colors, even Blood Red and Soylent Green! So come on down~ Gorilla-san won't wait much longer! And neither will his fiesty friends!
Welcome to exciting Camp! Fuck! You! Die! Sit back, relax, and stay awhile, okay?
Poll So?
Character: Horatio
Series: Hamlet
Character Age: not given; is a student at the university at Wittenberg, so apper estimates around 19-20ish
Canon: Hamlet is a tale of murder, ghosts, revenge, madness, and death. Set in the castle Elsinore, it follows the deeds of the young prince Hamlet as he sets out to avenge his father's murder and reclaim his throne.
Enter Horatio, a scholarly friend of Hamlet's Wittenberg. Ever the voice of reason, Horatio tries to rationally get to the bottom of things and dissuade others from just leaping to conclusions. Though perhaps not as eloquent as Hamlet, he is calmly well-spoken and intelligent, and even on occasion demonstrating a sharp wit with a quick reply.
Sample Post:
O what a strange and wondrous place is this! 'Tis like unto no land I e'er have known in Denmark or without, and I know not how I have come upon it. Though while they say such things as will o' wisps or fairies' play or e'en the devilishly sweet words of ghosts might lure a man astray, more stranger still to have ventured so without e'en any like these to blame.
More things there may be in heaven above and the earth below than 'fore now I have dreamt, but here are such ghastly monstrous things as I dare not dream to name. For what great evil is here at play, that the dead should walk in light of day!
And what land is this, to be so rank and vile, and trap the hapless traveller who doth trespass on its domain? --A murder, I have heard it said, a deed certainly most vile, and which the one by it so wronged doth seek to catch the culprit by such circumstances as lead to it reenacted. A stalwart plan as any, but e'en so, I have myself seen how even most righteous vengence so easily lendeth itself to most tragic end. And here, with greatest respect to my lady, 'tis but poorly executed and done wrong.
But as for now, as 'twould seem I am to be here held prisoner, learning of the custom here would be the most prudent course indeed. And one thing I have heard, though I must confess I know not the reason, that 'tis most commonly done to journal in a most disconsolate manner. And though in my investigation I know this to be so, it doth seem to me that what here passeth for mournful poetry, is but a pale shadow to my dear lord Hamlet's melancholy.
Poll So?
Character: Adam Young
Series: Good Omens
Character Age: 11
Canon: Good Omens is a book about an Antichrist and his Dog. Oh, and the Apocalypse, can't forget that. Basically somewhere along the line Crowley someone misplaces the Antichrist and instead of growing up as a properly raised Antichrist named Warlock complete with demonic nanny, he ended up being a mostly average boy named Adam Young. This Rather Displeased Hell and Heaven as both sides thought they knew exactly what the ineffable plan was.
Adam is eleven years old and acts like it, sometimes. He goes on backyard adventures with his friends and his hellhound dog, Dog. Adam is a pretty well balanced kid who is more likely to sit around discussing witches and the NEW Spanish Inquisition than ending the world. He's the idea man of his gang, the leader of the Them as well as an only child. Adam is prone to idiosyncratic logic, which can dumbfound even divine beings.
Sample Post:
I reckon summer vacation year round is a good idea, but I think you're goin' about it all wrong. Too many ninjas an' not enough robots. I don't think pirates or ninjas'd win against robots. Cor, there's nothin' better than a robot with lasers. An' ninjas an' pirates don't have any lasers. Robots also got extendin' arms and stuff. I'd like to see a ninja do that. Superheroes are alright too, just not as cool as robots. Maybe if they were superhero robots, I'm pretty keen on those.
Summer vacation isn't any good without things t'do either. Even if there were superhero robots you gotta have somethin' else. Can't do too much of the same thing, it'll get borin'. You'll give me a tour of camp? 'S nice of you, where we gonnago? Mess hall, library an' then the internet? I hope there's somethin' good there.
This is your Mess Hall? I bet lotsa people apreciate your 'save a cow, eat a vegan' sign, though. Not eatin' beefburgers saves cows, I know that, I read that in a book. But there's somethin' about that 'vegan crumble' which looks a bit like a dog's dinner. Not to mention it says "made with real live vegans" an' it's twitchin', I don't eat anythin' that's still moving. On princ'ple and all.
'Course I know what principle means, who doesn't? Principles are better'n rules. Even if your rules got numbers like 34, doesn't make 'em better than my principles. I'll even look it up for you. Look here, "principle: an accepted an' professed Rule 34 for life." What? That isn't right at all, this book's all wrong. Ow!. An' ooks shouldn't bite! 'Specially not encyclopedias, they're s'pposed to be helpful. An'...I don't think books are s'pposed to run off on their own like that either.
There's jus' the internet left, huh. 'Course I know how to use a computer, who doesn't? Huh, anyway, here's somethin' good. A whole website on robots fightin' other robots! Robots in Disguise Never hearda that one before, but it looks interestin' enough.
You must be 18 years of age to enter this website.
[] I am above 18 years of age.
[] I am below 18 years of age.
...this is one of those 'adult themed' camps, innit?
Dad's gonna be so mad.
Poll So?
Character: Marisa
Series: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones (Wiki)
Character Age: 17
Canon: From the harsh country of Jehanna comes Marisa, known as the Crimson Flash of a mercenary troop led by "Chief" Gerik. Said group is creatively named "Gerik's Mercenaries." Marisa has a reputation as an incredible mercenary, but her love-inspired loyalty to Gerik means that she'll turn on you in an instant at a word from him, regardless of the situation.
Marisa's father raised her so that her entire life has revolved around swordplay. As a result, her driving motivation is perfecting her swordsmanship, and she is determined to surpass her father in skill. Few men can compete with her in battle because of this expertise, but at the same time, she is hilariously clumsy at everything else. She is a serious woman who speaks tersely-even clipping her sentences-and takes everything literally, which often leads to such wacky antics as her trying to learn how to be sociable. As a minor note, zombies are called "revenant" in this game and battles are often won by killing the boss monster and seizing a key point on
the map.
Sample Post:
Most mercenaries know better than to ask where their employers acquired their gold. It does not matter, so long as they're paid. I've seen many of the same men ask why they found gold on the body of a monster they've killed. I believe that many of these men, if approached by a revenant with a job, would still question the source of the gold. The Chief had said it was a "fushigi mystery." I see no point in asking such useless questions. The gold simply is. If the revenant will pay for the brains of gorillas, that is where I start killing. For the time being, however, I am brainless.
I must assist my employer with another problem, as well. That is why I have had to wait to whet my blade's appetite. He tells me there is a high risk someone will get in his base. Should this happen, it would be an easy task to kill him and seize control of his. . . "royal bean bag chair." The attacker's victory would be assured. After considering the problem, I have concluded that it is his shuffling posture puts him at a disadvantage in a fight. His posture makes his strikes slow. Ineffective. Dodges are hampered as well. It'd mean death for him, and then I would not get paid. I have begun training him to stand correctly by tying swords to key points of his body. He must move and stand correctly or the swords will cause great discomfort. I don't understand, however, why people keep pointing and staring; the training is perfectly normal, if proving less effective for him than it was for me when I was a child. He has surprising constitution for a revenant. I may need to sharpen the blades if he is to make any progress.
I will not be using this sword for the training, however. It is the sharpest. Best for the fight ahead. This is the sword I will use for killing. . . . And no, you may not touch it. A swordsman's sword is an integral part of him. Not. A phallic object. It's an instrument that should be handled with the utmost care; a sword deserves respect, no matter the size or shape. One does not simply whip it out and start thrusting it into people. There is a deeper meaning to it when I fight. I will explain: with every stroke of this sword, I think of my father. And with every opponent I take, I will come upon more of my father's skill--why are you laughing? I am being serious, and this is an especially serious matter. . . . No, I have no serious pole for you. The sword is not a pole and does not count.
"Penis envy?" "Electra complex?" I do not understand. Please speak English.
Poll So?
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
VOTE FOR YOUR COUNTRY. SORRY had a surprise work shift. Closed!
Character: Rebecca "Becky" Miyamoto
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Age: 11
Canon: At Peach Moon Academy there are two rules: 1) The fourth wall is flimsy, and 2) The only thing that ever makes sense, is that absolutely nothing ever makes sense. Aliens, time travelers, and... emo bunnies are but a small portion of the students' everyday life. This should explain why no one questions why the homeroom teacher for class 1-C is an eleven-year-old girl who apparently never got career advice.
Despite being a genius who graduated from MIT with a triple major, Becky acts her age most of the time. Kind of. She has no qualms with yelling at her students, calling them names, and flipping them off whenever they misbehave -- which is about 99.9% of the time. At first glance, Becky seems bossy, lazy, and incredibly immature, but deep down she DOES care about people a great deal and will always try her best to protect them from random hazards, and help them out with their personal problems. ...Except maybe for those times when they bully her, and she ends up hiding behind a curtain, whimpering, because they're all BIG FAT MEANIES OMG U GUYS RESPECT ME I'M THE TEACHER. ;o;
It's hard out here for a loli teacher, yo.
Sample Post:
For the last time today, would you stop throwing your limbs at each other?! It's annoying and distracting, not to mention gross. Now, Green Teeth, go pick up your head and solve this equation or I swear I'll confiscate your arms for a week. Yeah, you can help him-- her if you want, Decaying Tongue. And don't give me that look! You can't expect me to learn your names when they all sound like brrrgh, argh, and gurgle. Not your fault, but it makes me wonder what your parents were thinking.
Haah... and to think it's only the first period... Hopefully, the gorillas won't be as bad, but I'm still not happy that they had to be put in the same class as the toucans. Why did they even let them take the placement test in the same room? It's obvious the birds cheated by reading their minds! S-So creepy. Wahh, someone remind why I decided to apply for this summer job, again?
Oh right, awesome facilities and free lunch every day. ♥ Speaking of which! Hey, smelly fools, can you tell me where the teachers' dorms and stuff are? I've already seen your dirty pool, the walrus-infested onsen, and all of your lame cabins, but I want to know where my luxuries are. I didn't come all the way from Japan for nothing, you know?
...
W-What? Of course I have a job here! What kinda question is that? I was told my application was so outstanding it got over nine thousand points out of three-hundred, and- ... "counselors don't open until June the 29th?" What's that even supposed to mean?! Just shut up and do as I say, s-stop laughing you idiots, I'm the teacher, you know!
--A-And what do YOU want? Stop staring at me like that, I don't have class with you until after reces- ... C-candy? ...For me? What do you think I am? An innocent little girl who will just accept candy from a suspicious looking bear who wants me to follow him into his unmarked vehicle?! NO WAY!
Now bring that white van of yours here if you don't want me to kick you again, and hurry up, I don't have all day! Geez, kids these days. I hope he has some caramel popcorn in there.
Poll So?
Character: Ryotou Kouseki
Series: Koutetsu Sangokushi
Character Age: Not given; estimated between the ages of 11 and 15.
Canon: Ah, Koutetsu Sangokushi. Where the men are men, and the women are, too. Set in the Three Kingdoms Era of Chinese history, this story focuses on the Wu (Go) kingdom and the adventures of one Rikuson Hakugen as he fights for truth, justice, and copious amounts of angst.
Ryotou Kouseki is the cocky young son of Go general Ryosou Kouketsu, a stoic man whom Ryotou desperately wishes to earn the respect of and one day join on the battlefield. While both respect "The Crimson Warrior" (Rikuson) and his way of wandering the countryside and fighting for justice, Ryotou utterly worships him. So much, in fact, that at their first meeting, Ryotou swears brotherhood with him before Rikuson even realizes what's going on. Needless to say, Ryotou is one of the more impulsive characters in Koutetsu Sangokushi; a trait his father dismisses as "childish."
Sample Post:
Oh MAN this is the best training camp ever! Not even two seconds in and I can already tell this is going to be HELLA fun! So what is this, huh? Some kind of mock monster invasion? Maybe even a real one? Never fear, citizens of Training Camp Fuck You Die! (Oh SHIT that's the sweetest name ever) I am an officer of Go- Ryotou Kouseki! And all these monsters? Are going DOWN! ...Right after I flip through this training manual thing. You know, the one that says "Read me before you start messing shit up."
"Dear victim, welcome to camp blah blah blah mandatory asscrack of dawn breakfast blah blah eat the mystery soup blah blah murder blah blah--" oh forget it! This thing's gotta be like three whole pages long. I've got a better way to read it! Page one, page two, page three! There! Got all the basics down! Time to kick some ass!
So which of you baddies am I gonna start on? Option One? A dead-looking guy with one arm. Pass. Option two? A goat. Pass. Option three? Holy SHIT what is that thing supposed to be? A giant purple monkey? Well hey, you're the most threatening thing I've seen so far, so I'll give you a shot. C'mon, bring it on! Monkey want a banana? Ook ook! Yeah, that's right, you heard me! Whaddya gonna do about-- WHOA! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Let's try actually swinging that fist somewhere near where I actually AM, huh?
Hah! Missed me again! And agHRRRRCK--
y...yeah that was a lucky grab okay let go of my--!
OOF! What? What was that? Ahaha, you're DAMN RIGHT "It's a trap!" Bet you weren't expecting THAT, were you? Hey, c'mon, where are you going, huh? Don't tell me you're just gonna run away after getting one lucky shot in! Well FINE, go ahead and run! You're not worth my time! Man, what a gyp. Haah, maybe I actually SHOULD have read that manual. Maybe there's something in there about the monkeys... nope, nope, nope, nope... ah, here we are! "Prefers nubile young girls?" I wish I knew that before it GRABBED m-- oh. Oh. Hahahaha, camp. I see what you did there.
Poll So?
Character: Yoshiki Kitazawa
Series: Gravitation
Character Age: approximately 19~20
Canon: The world of Gravitation is a very special place. In this case, "special" means a high level of crack-induced violence and comedy shoved in amongst pure angst and really hot guys. Mostly, though, it's about the hot guys that are banging one another and the rear windows that the mangaka is so fond of.
Yoshiki Kitazawa is pretty easy to amuse. He delights in sparkling and heart-marking, especially at someone else's pain. Despite all that, he has no real ill will and is incapable of hate. He's really pretty low-key and easy going. He is prone to bouts of terrible sulking over his plain, boring looks, but it's okay --- a minute or so later he'll be all smiles and joy again. It's hard to keep him down. It's even harder to take him seriously, as his out-of-it personality and glimmering aura tend to keep people guessing.
Above all, Yoshiki is best known for his giant rack. Yes, that's right. He's in the middle of a series of male-to-female transgender surgeries. So really, she is sweet and overenthusiastic, but with a tendency to accidentally drop into her "man voice." But it's only a little bit disconcerting to hear male vocals come from a hot chick, right?
Sample Post:
Hey-ho, deep South~! ♥
Wo-o-ow, would you just look at this place! You know, I always thought Mardis Gras was a lot earlier in the year. Aren't you all supposed to be over and done with it? I guess that doesn't matter! This place is fantastic! Is it a theme park? Yeah, I guess it must be. Why else would I get such a cool tour guide, eh, Gorilla-san?
Yeah! I know! This place has everything! So what's the big attraction? Rides? Ghosts? Animals?
Must be! ♥ Let's see the brochure here...
Wow, that's some creative touch. It's a pretty bad one, too. Who are you paying to write this, Gorilla-san? They're doing it wrong. "Erotic Hot Hot Walruses?" No way can that be right! You're not supposed to repeat words like that in English. Don't they teach you that in schools down here? What else... "Goatse?" Kyaaa, so that's the theme!
Hey, Gorilla-san, are you sure this is a park for ---
Okay, I know I'm pretty forgettable, so it's understandable. I guess it's alright if even after talking to me this whole time you couldn't be bothered to remember me, but you don't have to throw things to get your point across...
You work out, don't you? Don't look so modest, I can tell. That barrel was huge! Oh Gorilla-san, you're so strong and manly. I get to help out here now, right? I saw all those "Oh God please help us!" signs earlier, and how awesome would it be to get to work in such a cool theme park? ♥ Uwaaah, yes, thank you! So if I go and put on this gorilla costume, will I get to greet everyone else who comes in? If I, like, get the job?
Score!
All right, you! Let's get going! That lake monster isn't going to feed herself! Buy delicious chicken for her here! And don't forget souvenirs! We've got t-shirts in all colors, even Blood Red and Soylent Green! So come on down~ Gorilla-san won't wait much longer! And neither will his fiesty friends!
Welcome to exciting Camp! Fuck! You! Die! Sit back, relax, and stay awhile, okay?
Poll So?
Character: Horatio
Series: Hamlet
Character Age: not given; is a student at the university at Wittenberg, so apper estimates around 19-20ish
Canon: Hamlet is a tale of murder, ghosts, revenge, madness, and death. Set in the castle Elsinore, it follows the deeds of the young prince Hamlet as he sets out to avenge his father's murder and reclaim his throne.
Enter Horatio, a scholarly friend of Hamlet's Wittenberg. Ever the voice of reason, Horatio tries to rationally get to the bottom of things and dissuade others from just leaping to conclusions. Though perhaps not as eloquent as Hamlet, he is calmly well-spoken and intelligent, and even on occasion demonstrating a sharp wit with a quick reply.
Sample Post:
O what a strange and wondrous place is this! 'Tis like unto no land I e'er have known in Denmark or without, and I know not how I have come upon it. Though while they say such things as will o' wisps or fairies' play or e'en the devilishly sweet words of ghosts might lure a man astray, more stranger still to have ventured so without e'en any like these to blame.
More things there may be in heaven above and the earth below than 'fore now I have dreamt, but here are such ghastly monstrous things as I dare not dream to name. For what great evil is here at play, that the dead should walk in light of day!
And what land is this, to be so rank and vile, and trap the hapless traveller who doth trespass on its domain? --A murder, I have heard it said, a deed certainly most vile, and which the one by it so wronged doth seek to catch the culprit by such circumstances as lead to it reenacted. A stalwart plan as any, but e'en so, I have myself seen how even most righteous vengence so easily lendeth itself to most tragic end. And here, with greatest respect to my lady, 'tis but poorly executed and done wrong.
But as for now, as 'twould seem I am to be here held prisoner, learning of the custom here would be the most prudent course indeed. And one thing I have heard, though I must confess I know not the reason, that 'tis most commonly done to journal in a most disconsolate manner. And though in my investigation I know this to be so, it doth seem to me that what here passeth for mournful poetry, is but a pale shadow to my dear lord Hamlet's melancholy.
Poll So?
Character: Adam Young
Series: Good Omens
Character Age: 11
Canon: Good Omens is a book about an Antichrist and his Dog. Oh, and the Apocalypse, can't forget that. Basically somewhere along the line Crowley someone misplaces the Antichrist and instead of growing up as a properly raised Antichrist named Warlock complete with demonic nanny, he ended up being a mostly average boy named Adam Young. This Rather Displeased Hell and Heaven as both sides thought they knew exactly what the ineffable plan was.
Adam is eleven years old and acts like it, sometimes. He goes on backyard adventures with his friends and his hellhound dog, Dog. Adam is a pretty well balanced kid who is more likely to sit around discussing witches and the NEW Spanish Inquisition than ending the world. He's the idea man of his gang, the leader of the Them as well as an only child. Adam is prone to idiosyncratic logic, which can dumbfound even divine beings.
Sample Post:
I reckon summer vacation year round is a good idea, but I think you're goin' about it all wrong. Too many ninjas an' not enough robots. I don't think pirates or ninjas'd win against robots. Cor, there's nothin' better than a robot with lasers. An' ninjas an' pirates don't have any lasers. Robots also got extendin' arms and stuff. I'd like to see a ninja do that. Superheroes are alright too, just not as cool as robots. Maybe if they were superhero robots, I'm pretty keen on those.
Summer vacation isn't any good without things t'do either. Even if there were superhero robots you gotta have somethin' else. Can't do too much of the same thing, it'll get borin'. You'll give me a tour of camp? 'S nice of you, where we gonnago? Mess hall, library an' then the internet? I hope there's somethin' good there.
This is your Mess Hall? I bet lotsa people apreciate your 'save a cow, eat a vegan' sign, though. Not eatin' beefburgers saves cows, I know that, I read that in a book. But there's somethin' about that 'vegan crumble' which looks a bit like a dog's dinner. Not to mention it says "made with real live vegans" an' it's twitchin', I don't eat anythin' that's still moving. On princ'ple and all.
'Course I know what principle means, who doesn't? Principles are better'n rules. Even if your rules got numbers like 34, doesn't make 'em better than my principles. I'll even look it up for you. Look here, "principle: an accepted an' professed Rule 34 for life." What? That isn't right at all, this book's all wrong. Ow!. An' ooks shouldn't bite! 'Specially not encyclopedias, they're s'pposed to be helpful. An'...I don't think books are s'pposed to run off on their own like that either.
There's jus' the internet left, huh. 'Course I know how to use a computer, who doesn't? Huh, anyway, here's somethin' good. A whole website on robots fightin' other robots! Robots in Disguise Never hearda that one before, but it looks interestin' enough.
You must be 18 years of age to enter this website.
[] I am above 18 years of age.
[] I am below 18 years of age.
...this is one of those 'adult themed' camps, innit?
Dad's gonna be so mad.
Poll So?
Character: Marisa
Series: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones (Wiki)
Character Age: 17
Canon: From the harsh country of Jehanna comes Marisa, known as the Crimson Flash of a mercenary troop led by "Chief" Gerik. Said group is creatively named "Gerik's Mercenaries." Marisa has a reputation as an incredible mercenary, but her love-inspired loyalty to Gerik means that she'll turn on you in an instant at a word from him, regardless of the situation.
Marisa's father raised her so that her entire life has revolved around swordplay. As a result, her driving motivation is perfecting her swordsmanship, and she is determined to surpass her father in skill. Few men can compete with her in battle because of this expertise, but at the same time, she is hilariously clumsy at everything else. She is a serious woman who speaks tersely-even clipping her sentences-and takes everything literally, which often leads to such wacky antics as her trying to learn how to be sociable. As a minor note, zombies are called "revenant" in this game and battles are often won by killing the boss monster and seizing a key point on
the map.
Sample Post:
Most mercenaries know better than to ask where their employers acquired their gold. It does not matter, so long as they're paid. I've seen many of the same men ask why they found gold on the body of a monster they've killed. I believe that many of these men, if approached by a revenant with a job, would still question the source of the gold. The Chief had said it was a "fushigi mystery." I see no point in asking such useless questions. The gold simply is. If the revenant will pay for the brains of gorillas, that is where I start killing. For the time being, however, I am brainless.
I must assist my employer with another problem, as well. That is why I have had to wait to whet my blade's appetite. He tells me there is a high risk someone will get in his base. Should this happen, it would be an easy task to kill him and seize control of his. . . "royal bean bag chair." The attacker's victory would be assured. After considering the problem, I have concluded that it is his shuffling posture puts him at a disadvantage in a fight. His posture makes his strikes slow. Ineffective. Dodges are hampered as well. It'd mean death for him, and then I would not get paid. I have begun training him to stand correctly by tying swords to key points of his body. He must move and stand correctly or the swords will cause great discomfort. I don't understand, however, why people keep pointing and staring; the training is perfectly normal, if proving less effective for him than it was for me when I was a child. He has surprising constitution for a revenant. I may need to sharpen the blades if he is to make any progress.
I will not be using this sword for the training, however. It is the sharpest. Best for the fight ahead. This is the sword I will use for killing. . . . And no, you may not touch it. A swordsman's sword is an integral part of him. Not. A phallic object. It's an instrument that should be handled with the utmost care; a sword deserves respect, no matter the size or shape. One does not simply whip it out and start thrusting it into people. There is a deeper meaning to it when I fight. I will explain: with every stroke of this sword, I think of my father. And with every opponent I take, I will come upon more of my father's skill--why are you laughing? I am being serious, and this is an especially serious matter. . . . No, I have no serious pole for you. The sword is not a pole and does not count.
"Penis envy?" "Electra complex?" I do not understand. Please speak English.
Poll So?