(no subject)
[Soubi] hmmm...i wonder when a new voting batch will come out
[Hellboy] 6 am PST if Sakuraba posts the next one.
[Sakuraba] y-yeah I bet I'll be asleep instead
[Hellboy] Okay, I revise my estimate to like. 7.
[Sakuraba] I'M GOING TO SLEEP IN JUST YOU GUYS WATCH
... h-hush.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Looks good to me. Closed!
Character: Tachiki Noriko
Series: Kanata Kara/From Far Away
Character Age: 17
Canon: From Far Away is a story about a Japanese High School girl who would become the pivot point for an entire world, after a chance(?) encounter with an exploding shopping bag. With that one small explosion, the world would be changed. Noriko is the Awakening, a person with the means of controlling the Sky Demon, and thus, everyone is keen to find her and use her to their own ends.
Generally speaking, Noriko is bright and cheerful. She's polite, but she does occasionally react immediately to a situation instead of thinking it through. However, when presented with a difficult or stressful situation, she will pull it all together and focus as much as she needs to, to get things done. This can include lifting tall men or learning a language from scratch. It's not usually until after it's all complete that she relaxes and usually... passes out. During an embarrassing or awkward moment (those happen a lot) she will normally blush furiously and then start blabbering on and on about something only barely related to the subject at hand - this would help diffuse the situation more if the people she did this in front of could actually understand what she is saying. Traveling to another world where you can't speak the language makes things so hard.
Note! There is a language barrier issue in From Far Away. In addition, due to their connection, Noriko and Izark do share a bond where they are able to talk to each other. FROM FAR AWAY!!
Sample Post:
Can you hear me now? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? No? That's... that's not good at all, but... wait. How can you answer no if you -- look, you're all very pretty, but I would really appreciate it if you would just stay out of my head. I haven't ever met birds like you before, and you were so very helpful by leading me to other people, but I really don't know if I appreciate you doing things like... that! Only Izark goes there, okay? ... W-wait, not there! I just meant, I just meant, aah!
This is all so very embarrassing so maybe if I explain it from the beginning you can understand, this is like when I appeared the last time -- except I didn't appear that time, I was traveling, that's right, from a far away island! Really! Izark found me and has helped me because he's a very good person, I hope he's here, and settling in well, but if he's not, I'm sorry for the inconvenience of me showing up at your doorstep. Threshold? Entrance... Er... I'm not sure what you would call a ditch with a... welcome mat? Maybe I just don't know the word yet.
Sorry, I apologize again! I didn't mean to offend you. I hope I didn't. I feel so bad at interrupting the family dinner of... well, maybe it's best I don't know. Your child is very cute though! He has his father's eyes! ...Wait, he really does... is he playing marbles? Oh! Is that normal here? I've never seen anything quite like it... That's right, don't judge, there's lots of interesting places in the world, right? I wonder if this is even that world anymore? Maybe I shouldn't think too hard about that...
So! No, I don't want to play, but thank you! At a time like this, I think I need to keep occupied! Is there anything I can do to help? I can cook and clean and - well, maybe I should start with cleaning! It might be a little safer. I might need your help to... sort some of the items out. Like... what is and isn't perishable. There's just so much... stuff here, you know? Like this, it looks a little like meat, but it doesn't look well at all - oh! It's... it's Father's big toe? That's an awfully large toe, don't you think? No, I don't know what they say about men with large feet... should I? I wonder if Izark would know.
Well, I guess I'll just have to find out! It might be a hard thing to find, but I know I can do it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ichijo-san
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Character Age: Mystery
Canon: Peach Moon Academy is no ordinary school. There's the eleven-year-old genius teacher; the cat that lives in the vending machine and thinks he's God; the chronically depressed rabbit; the hyperactive girl obsessed with crabs; the giant robot underneath the school; and... 1-C's class representative, Ichijo-san. She doesn't have a first name. She does, however, have a personal spotlight, and her arrival is hailed by the sound of bells. Her hobbies include standing up, sitting down, announcing that she is "the class representative, Ichijo-san," rolling around on the floor, and saving her classmates from ninjas, tentacles, aliens, and Brazil. She's the freak in the back row who appears out of nowhere, attacking people with razor wire and blatantly disregarding reality, sanity, and the fourth wall. Nobody questions how or why. After all, it's just Ichijo-san, isn't it?
At first glance, Ichijo is quiet, demure, a little spacey, and fond of cryptic and nonsensical one-liners. But don't let her gentle, disheveled schoolgirl appearance fool you into believing that she always uses her powers for good. Relying on Ichijo is something like playing Russian Roulette with a sawed-off shotgun- you might end up with your brains splattered everywhere. Ichijo probably only has enough sanity to fill a small teaspoon, part of which is shared with her tiny sister (known only as Imouto-san) that Ichijo carries around in her shirt; together, they cause problems as often as they solve them. More than a little morbidly horrible, in that touched-in-the-head way, Ichijo's good intentions are often bad ideas. Like killing people. Ichijo-san is the reason why you don't take food from strangers.
Note: Modly permission has been granted for Imouto-san to attend camp with Ichijo-san. Also, the multimedia file in the app is a small optional audio file: the app can stand alone without it. Thank you for hosting the file, Anonymous Benefactor-san! ♥
Sample Post:
I am Ichijo-san, the class representative.
...
Maybe. Maybe I am Ichijo-san, the class representative. Hello. If so, I am pleased to meet you, Camp **** You ***. Did you know it is hard to find a place not on any map? Area 69. 51? 24601. Imouto-san drew a map, but it was hard to follow. I climbed a tree to get a better view, but still couldn't see the red X. It all worked out in the end, though; one who chases after two hares won't catch even one.
I came believing we would all be friends. That is what a summer camp is for. I am looking for mine- I am the class representative, Ichijo-san, after all. Meanwhile, though, we all have to make new friends. Zombie Socrates-san and I are learning to knit. But Zombie Ben-san has no fingers. It's alright- he can still help. Zombie Ben-san is rolling up the yarn Zombie Socrates-san wants to use, winding it around sticks and planks and balls. Zombie Ben-san has balls of steel, you see. Take caution, or heads will roll.
...
I sat down.
Let's continue. You can't go back to your home without making one new friend, or you will bring shame upon all your family. Is it really okay to give up that easily? I can understand if you're shy. But I made friends for everybody out of tuna cans and dirty needles I found on the ground. I tried adding real hearts to make them more elaborate, but the squirrels here are too fast. It will take some time to teach the mice I've found to hunt squirrels. They know how to roll over and say "wan wan" but they tend to drag in all the wrong places.
I will work hard, though. Perhaps these friends I've made will be sufficient, regardless. I've named them, you know. This is Tuberculosis-san. The name is very catching, isn't it? He enjoys long walks at night, and the colour red. And this is Prostate Cancer-san. He likes to run. You can try to get him, but I don't think you can, if you're a girl. We are going with Socrates-san and Ben-san to play with the forest animals. Bambi-san, hey- let's sing together-
Excuse me.
/BEGIN AUDIO TRANSMISSION #()ÀÅCENSORED ¯¸a¸****𠸸?}}(tm)a¸À( ***** $0FOR THE LOVE OF GOD(ÀÀ3.14159265 it's body temperature&&¸¸$S DFJK@($(* Ù¦¦¦AHHHHH ¸?}}(tm)a s¸?}}(tm)a ¸***dsf CENSORED***A052486ð¸¸#*($)**SPLEEN*(#0#¸?}}(tm)a #(*!!!&&#%%¸¸1AHHHHgnbjgkz bzzzzzt /END AUDIO TRANSMISSION
-soran soran soran soran hai hai! ♪
...
Ah. Hello, everybody. I am the class representative, Ichijo-san. I am very pleased to meet you. We all came to camp to make friends, didn't we? Please accept these venison rolls as a token of good will.
They're tasty.
Poll Vote!
Character: Suiseiseki
Series: Rozen Maiden
Character Age: not precisely known
Canon: Rozen Maiden is the tale of a troubled boy's journey to mental health, and the cracked family of living dolls who help him along the way (while invading his house and mooching off his food). Suiseiseki is a member of that family, a Rozen Maiden--one of a series of dolls created by the legendary dollmaker Rozen in his attempts to give form to Alice, a "perfect girl" who exists in his imagination. After creating the Maidens, Rozen set in motion the Alice Game, a last-doll-standing battle between his "daughters," the winner of which will become Alice. Suiseiseki is opposed to the Game, cherishing her sisters' lives above the wishes of her father.
...Not that that gentle side is always readily apparent from her usual behavior. Suiseiseki's outward persona is temperamental, tantrum-prone, and mischievous. She tends to resort to lies and tricks to get her way, or just to get a rise out of her sisters, particularly the easily-duped Hina Ichigo. When things don't go her way, she's quick to whip out the crocodile tears to drum up sympathy or get herself out of trouble. And despite the fact that she comes to care a lot for Jun, the series' protagonist, she tends to hide behind a veil of insults and comical abuse, often referring to him as "short human."
Note that Suiseiseki has powers related to plants, including the ability to talk to them.
Sample Post:
Oh, the cruelty! The unbearable cruelty of it all--I retired to bed last night as normal, and when I awoke, where did I find myself? In this smelly, sticky, barbaric wilderness! Is this some sadistic prank on the part of the short human's? What have I done--what could I, Suiseiseki, possibly have done to deserve this? I suppose I may have played some small part in smashing the screen of the television earlier that evening, but it wasn't as though I started the toy-throwing, and even if I did, this sort of punishment far outweighs the (minor, completely accidental) crime! If this truly was his doing, he'll be getting a piece of my mind once I get home! He won't be rid of me so easily!
But first things first--I must find a way out of this wretched place! Perhaps one of these local trees will be able to point me in the right direction. Oh, good sir tree, please take pity on a poor, unfortunate, lost--wait, what was that?
...You'll only help me if I show you whether I'm anatomically correct or not?
WHY, THE NERVE OF--I AM NOT THAT KIND OF DOLL! Fine, then, if you're not going to be of any help, I'll just ask this tree over here--the one someone hung their delicates all over for some reason. He seems like a more courteous sort; he's not complaining at all about being used for such a purpose! So, then, oh generous tree, perhaps you'd be so kind as to demonstrate the way a polite--eh? Those delicates aren't someone else's? They're--you grow these? Surely you jest, sir tree, that's imp--what? ...No, I'm afraid I wouldn't be interested to know that you can grow them in doll sizes and I'm also afraid I really must be going!
Well, it would seem as though the local plants are not going to be of any use. So be it! Suiseiseki will make her own way out of this mess! ...By writing for assistance! There does seem to be some sort of human settlement here, and while its occupants may appear to be largely people of poor repute, I'm sure they'll be happy to help. Now, what sort of letter...aha! "To my Dearest Sisters and the Microscopic Human: As I write this, my mind cannot help but dwell on the exquisite feast with which I was presented upon my arrival. This place in which I have found myself is truly Paradise on Earth, and if you all have even the slightest grasp of what's good for you, you'll come join me as soon as possible! I shall provide detailed directions, so that none of you get lost, even stupid Ichigo. Love, Suiseiseki ♥"
Poll Vote!
Character: Gen "Musashi" Takekura
Series: Eyeshield 21
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Eyeshield 21, everyone is gay for American football, and for some, including the Deimon Devilbats, the Christmas Bowl is the very last chance to make it to the top. One of the original three people who formed the Devilbats, Musashi had to quit the team his freshman year to take over his ill father's construction business. But despite not being physically present, he still gives the Devilbats the determination they need to reach the top, and the hope that one day he'll return to the team.
Musashi is one of the saner players, especially when compared to his enthusiastic teammates. Taking everything in stride and keeping straight head, Musashi is the type to sit back with a finger in his ear while everything else goes crazy around him, even when it comes to dealing with Hiruma. He's also smart, but doesn't flaunt it, allowing his teammates to come up with the answer themselves. But don't let his appearance fool you - he is not an old man, no matter how many times Hiruma calls him one. He's just mature-looking. Really.
Sample Post:
With an overcrowding problem this bad, I'm sure the director's happy that someone showed up to build more cabins. But I have to wonder how she found out about that nickname; it's not exactly true, you know. The rain of Magnum condoms was an interesting welcoming gift, but I'm really not compensating for anything. They're the wrong size anyway.
But I guess I shouldn't worry about that right now. There's a lot of work to do and with a crew that's literally falling apart, I can already see that this won't be an easy job. Maintenance and preparations for the existing cabins' additions are probably the best thing to start with. So you guys over there, get your heads on straight and follow me. There's already a few cabins here that recently had additions put on, so all those need is a little maintenance. I'll leave that to you guys, but make sure that this is the color of paint that was requested. I understand we're supposed to keep with the camp theme, but I don't think this shade of purple exists in nature. But by all means, find a gorilla and see if you can't match its color.
As for the rest of you, before we start the additions we'll need to go cut down some trees to use as lumber. But don't cut down any of the dogwoods; their bark is as bad as their bite, and we've already had someone lose most of his arm. The pine trees over there seem to be the easiest to handle, so don't branch out too far, and watch out when they start handling you back. It isn't a pleasant experience.
There isn't much else I have to tell you guys, so stick to the plans I gave you. If we work fast, we should be able to make room for the rest of the campers that came in with me--
Put your eyes back into your heads. I never said I was a counselor, so pull yourselves together and let's get to work.
Poll Vote!
Character: Beth
Series: Petite Princess Yucie
Character Age: 17, but appears 10
Canon: Five eternally prepubescent girls all share the same goal: becoming the Platinum Princess and gaining one wish. To this end, they're enrolled in the Princess Academy where they do menial labor to strengthen their PURE HEARTS. Part of this involves visiting each of the five worlds to find a Crystal Flower, which can be found through love, or teamwork, or honesty, or whatever virtue they're learning that episode.
Beth, one of the five, is the princess of the Fairy World, and due to troubles at home she withdraws from the Princess Academy and people in general. Convinced that she has to take on the world by her lonesome, her already tomboyish personality becomes more bitter and a bit antagonistic. As a result, even when she does finally make friends, she's completely socially inept in the process.
Sample Post:
How do you completely forget about an entire world? There's forgetful, and then there's goldfish.
Oh well. All right. Let's see. I'm just here to get one little flower and then I'm outta here. Can't be too hard. Just need to find the flower that stands out! This one looks pretty special if you ask me. Maybe it's the--OW HEY! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?! I just said you looked special, can't you take it as a damn compliment?! Get--off--my--finger! And stay off, or else next time I won't show any mercy! Can't even trust a damn flower without it turning on you.
Well, screw that one, then; I can still do this. There are plenty of flowers around here, I just need to look for a different one. Like over where that squirrel is. Hey wait, don't eat that! Are you even listening to me?! That could... Did you just turn into a turtle? Uh, while this certainly seems like a magical enough flower, I think I'll be coming back to that one later. Moving on...
Maybe I'm sorta going about this the wrong way. Maybe I should be, you know, m-making friends, or doing something like that. Are those the locals? Kinda... uh, interesting. It looks like they've got a ton of makeup on, and even the animals are weird colors. They look like freaks--no, I'm not getting anywhere like that! Cultural diversity, or whatever! It's probably just a ceremony or something. Yeah... a ceremony. Celebrating freakishness.
Hey! Hey, 'scuse me! I'm from the Fairy World. Um, c-could I join in on your festival thing? Not that I care or--Oh, really? So what do I do? ...Hey!--I mean, uh, excuse me. Excuse me. It's nice that you want to be friends and all but ahaha this is a little too close for--okay I'm NOT GOING TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE GOODBYE.
Oh, man. No wonder everyone managed to forget about this world until just now. I'd want to forget about it too.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sano Izumi
Series: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (HanaKimi)
Character Age: 17
Canon: HanaKimi is the touching tale of a girl who not only crosses the ocean to meet her high jumping sports idol, but sneaks into an all boy's school for him! Naturally he finds out and confesses his undy-- ahahaha, no. While Sano does know Mizuki is a girl and is just a little head over heels for her, he's not about to tell her or anyone else either of those things. Way to go Sano!
Overall he's a quiet, somewhat guarded person who isn't prone to talking about himself often and is kinda emotionally retarded. All the same, he's a friendly guy who doesn't mind helping out or sticking up for someone if the chance comes up, especially if it's a friend. He does have a bit of a temper that surfaces whenever his limits have been pushed enough, but he's also the kind of person who can admit when he's fucked up, even if he hasn't, and try to make amends. He also has a soft spot for animals and adores his chosen sport, high jumping.
Sample Post:
You know, this isn't what I pictured when the brochure said to expect a new and innovative training program. A different method of coaching or something like that was what I had in mind. But this . . . In just what kind of world do you think anyone would agree to jump over live crocodiles!? Exactly what do you think will happen if someone gets caught by one of those things? Did anyone even try to think this through? --No, I'm not going to jump a shark either! This can't be what I left Mizuki alone for.
Che. The ad mentioned complimentary massages, right? Where do I go for one of those? I feel like I could use one right now. I don't really understand what it meant about delicious oils, but -- is that cooking oil? Did you just salt that? . . . You know what, nevermind. I'll get one later instead. No a sweeter oil won't make me change my mind. And keep those cherries away from me! Just what kind of massage is this supposed to be?!
Just . . . someone tell me there's normal equipment around here somewhere. I'd like to get some training done before I leave. No, the sharks still don't count as normal. And -- are those giant candle sticks? You can't seriously want us to jump over those. Why are you holding barbecue sauce when you say that? --Actually, don't tell me. Look, what the hell is wrong with you? Just what kind of idiot do you have to be to keep coming up with ideas like this?!
H-hey! Don't go falling to pieces just because I said something like that! You're the one who came here to coach us after all, so pull yourself together and do it. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help anyone. You just have to get a better head on your shoulders.
. . .
Not like that.
Poll Vote!
Character: Judas
Series: Tales of Destiny 2
Age: 16
Canon: Tales of Destiny 2 is the story of Kyle Dunamis, the son of two great heroes, attempting to prove his own worth as a hero. This is a little more difficult than it sounds, because Kyle has the brains of a rhododendron bush. He and his companions end up trying to save the world, as you do, by traveling through time and defeating those who want to change history.
Judas is the token emo kid of the party. He's mysterious, canonly described as a nihilist, and wears a mask of bone to conceal his identity. He takes it upon himself to provide the scathing commentary for the party. In fact, he seems happier when he's complaining than any other time. Most of these complaints are subdued and sarcastic, but tease him long enough and his somewhat explosive temper will be revealed. Despite this, he's actually one of the more practical members of the party, and has a soft spot for Kyle.
Note: talking swords are very important to the plot of both games.
Sample Post:
Bravo, Lady Director. I really must applaud your creativity. The zombies are a little overdone, but that beast that met me at the gates was truly inspired. The mottled purple hide, beady little eyes, and slavering, rabid jaws would have been enough. As would its attempts to break me in half with its scrawny arms and suffocate me against its chest.
But the singing? Again, bravo. I don't think I've ever encountered a monster so horrifying. Not to mention that the sparkles in its blood appear to be corrosive. You'll be paying for the loss of my sword, believe me. That's not an idle threat, either-- I don't make threats. I make promises.
* Judas has gained title "Like Chuck Norris, In A Way!" Str +3, Badass +8, Fashion Sense -5.
And while we're on the topic of threats, your attempts to remove my mask from my possession is not appreciated. Nor is trying to replace it. Why?
1) I don't know what hockey is, and not only is the mask ugly, it comes with its own background music. What's the point of being stealthy if your every move is announced by a chorus of violins?
2) I also don't know anything about an "eyeshield", but any accessory that comes with the description "now with extra gay!" is getting thrown out.
3) I'm not an angel of anything, so you can take the last one back and tell the zombies to quit singing. Tch. Honestly.
As one final point for you to take into consideration, Lady, I would ask that you do a better job of listening tot he requests of others. It is true that I asked if you had encountered any talking swords in your establishment. It is also true that, well, the word "sword" can be used to mean all manner of... things. But I would remind you that sometimes a sword is just a sword.
So while I will make note of your generosity when dealing with my request, what the hell am I supposed to do with a talking dildo?!
Poll Vote!
[Hellboy] 6 am PST if Sakuraba posts the next one.
[Sakuraba] y-yeah I bet I'll be asleep instead
[Hellboy] Okay, I revise my estimate to like. 7.
[Sakuraba] I'M GOING TO SLEEP IN JUST YOU GUYS WATCH
... h-hush.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Looks good to me. Closed!
Character: Tachiki Noriko
Series: Kanata Kara/From Far Away
Character Age: 17
Canon: From Far Away is a story about a Japanese High School girl who would become the pivot point for an entire world, after a chance(?) encounter with an exploding shopping bag. With that one small explosion, the world would be changed. Noriko is the Awakening, a person with the means of controlling the Sky Demon, and thus, everyone is keen to find her and use her to their own ends.
Generally speaking, Noriko is bright and cheerful. She's polite, but she does occasionally react immediately to a situation instead of thinking it through. However, when presented with a difficult or stressful situation, she will pull it all together and focus as much as she needs to, to get things done. This can include lifting tall men or learning a language from scratch. It's not usually until after it's all complete that she relaxes and usually... passes out. During an embarrassing or awkward moment (those happen a lot) she will normally blush furiously and then start blabbering on and on about something only barely related to the subject at hand - this would help diffuse the situation more if the people she did this in front of could actually understand what she is saying. Traveling to another world where you can't speak the language makes things so hard.
Note! There is a language barrier issue in From Far Away. In addition, due to their connection, Noriko and Izark do share a bond where they are able to talk to each other. FROM FAR AWAY!!
Sample Post:
Can you hear me now? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? No? That's... that's not good at all, but... wait. How can you answer no if you -- look, you're all very pretty, but I would really appreciate it if you would just stay out of my head. I haven't ever met birds like you before, and you were so very helpful by leading me to other people, but I really don't know if I appreciate you doing things like... that! Only Izark goes there, okay? ... W-wait, not there! I just meant, I just meant, aah!
This is all so very embarrassing so maybe if I explain it from the beginning you can understand, this is like when I appeared the last time -- except I didn't appear that time, I was traveling, that's right, from a far away island! Really! Izark found me and has helped me because he's a very good person, I hope he's here, and settling in well, but if he's not, I'm sorry for the inconvenience of me showing up at your doorstep. Threshold? Entrance... Er... I'm not sure what you would call a ditch with a... welcome mat? Maybe I just don't know the word yet.
Sorry, I apologize again! I didn't mean to offend you. I hope I didn't. I feel so bad at interrupting the family dinner of... well, maybe it's best I don't know. Your child is very cute though! He has his father's eyes! ...Wait, he really does... is he playing marbles? Oh! Is that normal here? I've never seen anything quite like it... That's right, don't judge, there's lots of interesting places in the world, right? I wonder if this is even that world anymore? Maybe I shouldn't think too hard about that...
So! No, I don't want to play, but thank you! At a time like this, I think I need to keep occupied! Is there anything I can do to help? I can cook and clean and - well, maybe I should start with cleaning! It might be a little safer. I might need your help to... sort some of the items out. Like... what is and isn't perishable. There's just so much... stuff here, you know? Like this, it looks a little like meat, but it doesn't look well at all - oh! It's... it's Father's big toe? That's an awfully large toe, don't you think? No, I don't know what they say about men with large feet... should I? I wonder if Izark would know.
Well, I guess I'll just have to find out! It might be a hard thing to find, but I know I can do it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ichijo-san
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Character Age: Mystery
Canon: Peach Moon Academy is no ordinary school. There's the eleven-year-old genius teacher; the cat that lives in the vending machine and thinks he's God; the chronically depressed rabbit; the hyperactive girl obsessed with crabs; the giant robot underneath the school; and... 1-C's class representative, Ichijo-san. She doesn't have a first name. She does, however, have a personal spotlight, and her arrival is hailed by the sound of bells. Her hobbies include standing up, sitting down, announcing that she is "the class representative, Ichijo-san," rolling around on the floor, and saving her classmates from ninjas, tentacles, aliens, and Brazil. She's the freak in the back row who appears out of nowhere, attacking people with razor wire and blatantly disregarding reality, sanity, and the fourth wall. Nobody questions how or why. After all, it's just Ichijo-san, isn't it?
At first glance, Ichijo is quiet, demure, a little spacey, and fond of cryptic and nonsensical one-liners. But don't let her gentle, disheveled schoolgirl appearance fool you into believing that she always uses her powers for good. Relying on Ichijo is something like playing Russian Roulette with a sawed-off shotgun- you might end up with your brains splattered everywhere. Ichijo probably only has enough sanity to fill a small teaspoon, part of which is shared with her tiny sister (known only as Imouto-san) that Ichijo carries around in her shirt; together, they cause problems as often as they solve them. More than a little morbidly horrible, in that touched-in-the-head way, Ichijo's good intentions are often bad ideas. Like killing people. Ichijo-san is the reason why you don't take food from strangers.
Note: Modly permission has been granted for Imouto-san to attend camp with Ichijo-san. Also, the multimedia file in the app is a small optional audio file: the app can stand alone without it. Thank you for hosting the file, Anonymous Benefactor-san! ♥
Sample Post:
I am Ichijo-san, the class representative.
...
Maybe. Maybe I am Ichijo-san, the class representative. Hello. If so, I am pleased to meet you, Camp **** You ***. Did you know it is hard to find a place not on any map? Area 69. 51? 24601. Imouto-san drew a map, but it was hard to follow. I climbed a tree to get a better view, but still couldn't see the red X. It all worked out in the end, though; one who chases after two hares won't catch even one.
I came believing we would all be friends. That is what a summer camp is for. I am looking for mine- I am the class representative, Ichijo-san, after all. Meanwhile, though, we all have to make new friends. Zombie Socrates-san and I are learning to knit. But Zombie Ben-san has no fingers. It's alright- he can still help. Zombie Ben-san is rolling up the yarn Zombie Socrates-san wants to use, winding it around sticks and planks and balls. Zombie Ben-san has balls of steel, you see. Take caution, or heads will roll.
...
I sat down.
Let's continue. You can't go back to your home without making one new friend, or you will bring shame upon all your family. Is it really okay to give up that easily? I can understand if you're shy. But I made friends for everybody out of tuna cans and dirty needles I found on the ground. I tried adding real hearts to make them more elaborate, but the squirrels here are too fast. It will take some time to teach the mice I've found to hunt squirrels. They know how to roll over and say "wan wan" but they tend to drag in all the wrong places.
I will work hard, though. Perhaps these friends I've made will be sufficient, regardless. I've named them, you know. This is Tuberculosis-san. The name is very catching, isn't it? He enjoys long walks at night, and the colour red. And this is Prostate Cancer-san. He likes to run. You can try to get him, but I don't think you can, if you're a girl. We are going with Socrates-san and Ben-san to play with the forest animals. Bambi-san, hey- let's sing together-
Excuse me.
/BEGIN AUDIO TRANSMISSION #()ÀÅCENSORED ¯¸a¸****𠸸?}}(tm)a¸À( ***** $0FOR THE LOVE OF GOD(ÀÀ3.14159265 it's body temperature&&¸¸$S DFJK@($(* Ù¦¦¦AHHHHH ¸?}}(tm)a s¸?}}(tm)a ¸***dsf CENSORED***A052486ð¸¸#*($)**SPLEEN*(#0#¸?}}(tm)a #(*!!!&&#%%¸¸1AHHHHgnbjgkz bzzzzzt /END AUDIO TRANSMISSION
-soran soran soran soran hai hai! ♪
...
Ah. Hello, everybody. I am the class representative, Ichijo-san. I am very pleased to meet you. We all came to camp to make friends, didn't we? Please accept these venison rolls as a token of good will.
They're tasty.
Poll Vote!
Character: Suiseiseki
Series: Rozen Maiden
Character Age: not precisely known
Canon: Rozen Maiden is the tale of a troubled boy's journey to mental health, and the cracked family of living dolls who help him along the way (while invading his house and mooching off his food). Suiseiseki is a member of that family, a Rozen Maiden--one of a series of dolls created by the legendary dollmaker Rozen in his attempts to give form to Alice, a "perfect girl" who exists in his imagination. After creating the Maidens, Rozen set in motion the Alice Game, a last-doll-standing battle between his "daughters," the winner of which will become Alice. Suiseiseki is opposed to the Game, cherishing her sisters' lives above the wishes of her father.
...Not that that gentle side is always readily apparent from her usual behavior. Suiseiseki's outward persona is temperamental, tantrum-prone, and mischievous. She tends to resort to lies and tricks to get her way, or just to get a rise out of her sisters, particularly the easily-duped Hina Ichigo. When things don't go her way, she's quick to whip out the crocodile tears to drum up sympathy or get herself out of trouble. And despite the fact that she comes to care a lot for Jun, the series' protagonist, she tends to hide behind a veil of insults and comical abuse, often referring to him as "short human."
Note that Suiseiseki has powers related to plants, including the ability to talk to them.
Sample Post:
Oh, the cruelty! The unbearable cruelty of it all--I retired to bed last night as normal, and when I awoke, where did I find myself? In this smelly, sticky, barbaric wilderness! Is this some sadistic prank on the part of the short human's? What have I done--what could I, Suiseiseki, possibly have done to deserve this? I suppose I may have played some small part in smashing the screen of the television earlier that evening, but it wasn't as though I started the toy-throwing, and even if I did, this sort of punishment far outweighs the (minor, completely accidental) crime! If this truly was his doing, he'll be getting a piece of my mind once I get home! He won't be rid of me so easily!
But first things first--I must find a way out of this wretched place! Perhaps one of these local trees will be able to point me in the right direction. Oh, good sir tree, please take pity on a poor, unfortunate, lost--wait, what was that?
...You'll only help me if I show you whether I'm anatomically correct or not?
WHY, THE NERVE OF--I AM NOT THAT KIND OF DOLL! Fine, then, if you're not going to be of any help, I'll just ask this tree over here--the one someone hung their delicates all over for some reason. He seems like a more courteous sort; he's not complaining at all about being used for such a purpose! So, then, oh generous tree, perhaps you'd be so kind as to demonstrate the way a polite--eh? Those delicates aren't someone else's? They're--you grow these? Surely you jest, sir tree, that's imp--what? ...No, I'm afraid I wouldn't be interested to know that you can grow them in doll sizes and I'm also afraid I really must be going!
Well, it would seem as though the local plants are not going to be of any use. So be it! Suiseiseki will make her own way out of this mess! ...By writing for assistance! There does seem to be some sort of human settlement here, and while its occupants may appear to be largely people of poor repute, I'm sure they'll be happy to help. Now, what sort of letter...aha! "To my Dearest Sisters and the Microscopic Human: As I write this, my mind cannot help but dwell on the exquisite feast with which I was presented upon my arrival. This place in which I have found myself is truly Paradise on Earth, and if you all have even the slightest grasp of what's good for you, you'll come join me as soon as possible! I shall provide detailed directions, so that none of you get lost, even stupid Ichigo. Love, Suiseiseki ♥"
Poll Vote!
Character: Gen "Musashi" Takekura
Series: Eyeshield 21
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Eyeshield 21, everyone is gay for American football, and for some, including the Deimon Devilbats, the Christmas Bowl is the very last chance to make it to the top. One of the original three people who formed the Devilbats, Musashi had to quit the team his freshman year to take over his ill father's construction business. But despite not being physically present, he still gives the Devilbats the determination they need to reach the top, and the hope that one day he'll return to the team.
Musashi is one of the saner players, especially when compared to his enthusiastic teammates. Taking everything in stride and keeping straight head, Musashi is the type to sit back with a finger in his ear while everything else goes crazy around him, even when it comes to dealing with Hiruma. He's also smart, but doesn't flaunt it, allowing his teammates to come up with the answer themselves. But don't let his appearance fool you - he is not an old man, no matter how many times Hiruma calls him one. He's just mature-looking. Really.
Sample Post:
With an overcrowding problem this bad, I'm sure the director's happy that someone showed up to build more cabins. But I have to wonder how she found out about that nickname; it's not exactly true, you know. The rain of Magnum condoms was an interesting welcoming gift, but I'm really not compensating for anything. They're the wrong size anyway.
But I guess I shouldn't worry about that right now. There's a lot of work to do and with a crew that's literally falling apart, I can already see that this won't be an easy job. Maintenance and preparations for the existing cabins' additions are probably the best thing to start with. So you guys over there, get your heads on straight and follow me. There's already a few cabins here that recently had additions put on, so all those need is a little maintenance. I'll leave that to you guys, but make sure that this is the color of paint that was requested. I understand we're supposed to keep with the camp theme, but I don't think this shade of purple exists in nature. But by all means, find a gorilla and see if you can't match its color.
As for the rest of you, before we start the additions we'll need to go cut down some trees to use as lumber. But don't cut down any of the dogwoods; their bark is as bad as their bite, and we've already had someone lose most of his arm. The pine trees over there seem to be the easiest to handle, so don't branch out too far, and watch out when they start handling you back. It isn't a pleasant experience.
There isn't much else I have to tell you guys, so stick to the plans I gave you. If we work fast, we should be able to make room for the rest of the campers that came in with me--
Put your eyes back into your heads. I never said I was a counselor, so pull yourselves together and let's get to work.
Poll Vote!
Character: Beth
Series: Petite Princess Yucie
Character Age: 17, but appears 10
Canon: Five eternally prepubescent girls all share the same goal: becoming the Platinum Princess and gaining one wish. To this end, they're enrolled in the Princess Academy where they do menial labor to strengthen their PURE HEARTS. Part of this involves visiting each of the five worlds to find a Crystal Flower, which can be found through love, or teamwork, or honesty, or whatever virtue they're learning that episode.
Beth, one of the five, is the princess of the Fairy World, and due to troubles at home she withdraws from the Princess Academy and people in general. Convinced that she has to take on the world by her lonesome, her already tomboyish personality becomes more bitter and a bit antagonistic. As a result, even when she does finally make friends, she's completely socially inept in the process.
Sample Post:
How do you completely forget about an entire world? There's forgetful, and then there's goldfish.
Oh well. All right. Let's see. I'm just here to get one little flower and then I'm outta here. Can't be too hard. Just need to find the flower that stands out! This one looks pretty special if you ask me. Maybe it's the--OW HEY! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?! I just said you looked special, can't you take it as a damn compliment?! Get--off--my--finger! And stay off, or else next time I won't show any mercy! Can't even trust a damn flower without it turning on you.
Well, screw that one, then; I can still do this. There are plenty of flowers around here, I just need to look for a different one. Like over where that squirrel is. Hey wait, don't eat that! Are you even listening to me?! That could... Did you just turn into a turtle? Uh, while this certainly seems like a magical enough flower, I think I'll be coming back to that one later. Moving on...
Maybe I'm sorta going about this the wrong way. Maybe I should be, you know, m-making friends, or doing something like that. Are those the locals? Kinda... uh, interesting. It looks like they've got a ton of makeup on, and even the animals are weird colors. They look like freaks--no, I'm not getting anywhere like that! Cultural diversity, or whatever! It's probably just a ceremony or something. Yeah... a ceremony. Celebrating freakishness.
Hey! Hey, 'scuse me! I'm from the Fairy World. Um, c-could I join in on your festival thing? Not that I care or--Oh, really? So what do I do? ...Hey!--I mean, uh, excuse me. Excuse me. It's nice that you want to be friends and all but ahaha this is a little too close for--okay I'm NOT GOING TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE GOODBYE.
Oh, man. No wonder everyone managed to forget about this world until just now. I'd want to forget about it too.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sano Izumi
Series: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (HanaKimi)
Character Age: 17
Canon: HanaKimi is the touching tale of a girl who not only crosses the ocean to meet her high jumping sports idol, but sneaks into an all boy's school for him! Naturally he finds out and confesses his undy-- ahahaha, no. While Sano does know Mizuki is a girl and is just a little head over heels for her, he's not about to tell her or anyone else either of those things. Way to go Sano!
Overall he's a quiet, somewhat guarded person who isn't prone to talking about himself often and is kinda emotionally retarded. All the same, he's a friendly guy who doesn't mind helping out or sticking up for someone if the chance comes up, especially if it's a friend. He does have a bit of a temper that surfaces whenever his limits have been pushed enough, but he's also the kind of person who can admit when he's fucked up, even if he hasn't, and try to make amends. He also has a soft spot for animals and adores his chosen sport, high jumping.
Sample Post:
You know, this isn't what I pictured when the brochure said to expect a new and innovative training program. A different method of coaching or something like that was what I had in mind. But this . . . In just what kind of world do you think anyone would agree to jump over live crocodiles!? Exactly what do you think will happen if someone gets caught by one of those things? Did anyone even try to think this through? --No, I'm not going to jump a shark either! This can't be what I left Mizuki alone for.
Che. The ad mentioned complimentary massages, right? Where do I go for one of those? I feel like I could use one right now. I don't really understand what it meant about delicious oils, but -- is that cooking oil? Did you just salt that? . . . You know what, nevermind. I'll get one later instead. No a sweeter oil won't make me change my mind. And keep those cherries away from me! Just what kind of massage is this supposed to be?!
Just . . . someone tell me there's normal equipment around here somewhere. I'd like to get some training done before I leave. No, the sharks still don't count as normal. And -- are those giant candle sticks? You can't seriously want us to jump over those. Why are you holding barbecue sauce when you say that? --Actually, don't tell me. Look, what the hell is wrong with you? Just what kind of idiot do you have to be to keep coming up with ideas like this?!
H-hey! Don't go falling to pieces just because I said something like that! You're the one who came here to coach us after all, so pull yourself together and do it. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help anyone. You just have to get a better head on your shoulders.
. . .
Not like that.
Poll Vote!
Character: Judas
Series: Tales of Destiny 2
Age: 16
Canon: Tales of Destiny 2 is the story of Kyle Dunamis, the son of two great heroes, attempting to prove his own worth as a hero. This is a little more difficult than it sounds, because Kyle has the brains of a rhododendron bush. He and his companions end up trying to save the world, as you do, by traveling through time and defeating those who want to change history.
Judas is the token emo kid of the party. He's mysterious, canonly described as a nihilist, and wears a mask of bone to conceal his identity. He takes it upon himself to provide the scathing commentary for the party. In fact, he seems happier when he's complaining than any other time. Most of these complaints are subdued and sarcastic, but tease him long enough and his somewhat explosive temper will be revealed. Despite this, he's actually one of the more practical members of the party, and has a soft spot for Kyle.
Note: talking swords are very important to the plot of both games.
Sample Post:
Bravo, Lady Director. I really must applaud your creativity. The zombies are a little overdone, but that beast that met me at the gates was truly inspired. The mottled purple hide, beady little eyes, and slavering, rabid jaws would have been enough. As would its attempts to break me in half with its scrawny arms and suffocate me against its chest.
But the singing? Again, bravo. I don't think I've ever encountered a monster so horrifying. Not to mention that the sparkles in its blood appear to be corrosive. You'll be paying for the loss of my sword, believe me. That's not an idle threat, either-- I don't make threats. I make promises.
* Judas has gained title "Like Chuck Norris, In A Way!" Str +3, Badass +8, Fashion Sense -5.
And while we're on the topic of threats, your attempts to remove my mask from my possession is not appreciated. Nor is trying to replace it. Why?
1) I don't know what hockey is, and not only is the mask ugly, it comes with its own background music. What's the point of being stealthy if your every move is announced by a chorus of violins?
2) I also don't know anything about an "eyeshield", but any accessory that comes with the description "now with extra gay!" is getting thrown out.
3) I'm not an angel of anything, so you can take the last one back and tell the zombies to quit singing. Tch. Honestly.
As one final point for you to take into consideration, Lady, I would ask that you do a better job of listening tot he requests of others. It is true that I asked if you had encountered any talking swords in your establishment. It is also true that, well, the word "sword" can be used to mean all manner of... things. But I would remind you that sometimes a sword is just a sword.
So while I will make note of your generosity when dealing with my request, what the hell am I supposed to do with a talking dildo?!
Poll Vote!