(no subject)
HAY GUYS WHAT'S GOIN ON. We have an announcement!
You are now required to put up-to-date contact information in your journal profiles. This goes for each character you play! Just make sure your working e-mail is somewhere in your profile - we need to be able to contact you if the occasion arises. If we can't, it's your responsibility, so please take care of this!
After you make sure you're covered, have another fantastic round! ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Series: Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane
Character age: 16
Canon: Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane is what you get if you rewrite Spider-Man as a shoujo manga. Full of romance, bright colors, and netspeak, SM♥MJ takes the Spider-Man story, de-emphasizes the crime-fighting and brings it back to the story of a girl and a boy falling in love.
That boy, in this case, is Peter Parker, who's very secretly Spider-Man. Dorky and well-meaning, Peter's always ready to crack a joke or lend an ear, and he's not above sticking to his guns and getting beat up to spend a little more time with his crush. Plagued by an alter-ego, Peter has the misfortune of always having to leave conversations at the worst times with the worst excuses, usually about his aunt and her needing him, which only adds to his unfortunate social ineptitude. He has no delusions about his status in life; he's a geek and he knows it. Still, if the ability to recite the periodic table backwards from memory doesn't impress that girl you like, what will?
If you said "my super-secret alter-ego" who is a superhero and loved by millions (including your dream girl), and who has all the snark and self-confidence most people don't notice when you're just Peter Parker, well. It's a secret. Spider-Man never talks about his personal life when he's in costume; he's much more likely to crack a joke to avoid the question.
Sample post:
Ooo-kay, nice place you've got here. Really. I love the decorations--is that swamp gas? Because nothing, and I mean nothing, says classy like swamp gas. It's the new black. You can take it from me. I should know! Just look at me.
What do you mean red-and-blue spandex is totally last season? I'll have you know it was never in. You have to know a lot about fashion to make an outfit this out. Yeah, it's hard to make this look good, but how else will people know who . . . you don't know who I am? Wow, and I thought I was on every news channel in New York. I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. You know, crime-fighting, web-slinging, wall-climbing? Like a spider. Who fights crime. Except my webbing doesn't come out of my opisthosoma. I don't even have an opisthosoma.
Tough crowd! I guess the biology jokes aren't big with you guys. Bounce back, Spidey, bounce back. That's okay! Because I'm not here to crack jokes--that's my side job. I'm here to help you guys! That's right, I'm free for everyone in the Big Apple.
. . . Louisiana? That's getting a little out of my area. I mean, there's a reason I'm not your friendly national Spider-Man. Train fare is killer. Not that I ride the train or anything. That would be lame. Heh heh heh. But! I guess since I'm here--how am I here again?--I can make an exception. So, guys, what's the issue? What've you got for villains? Mudface? Black Goblin? Mardi-Gras Man?
Zombies, huh? You should really hire an interior decorator or something. Exterior, I guess. Maybe both--I swear I saw something growing in that cabin. While you're at it, maybe tell me where the real villain is? There has to be some criminal mastermind behind these guys, maybe a psycho in an animal costume? I'm not picky. Rhino or crocodile or raccoon or . . .
Purple gorilla! I'll take that as a welcome mat. Look out, Louisiana, here comes the Spider-Man!
Poll Vote!
Character: Nakano Hiro
Series: Gravitation
Character Age: 19
Canon: Known for its shounen-ai goodness, Gravitation is the story of Shindou Shuichi, a rising pop star for the band Bad Luck who ends up falling for a popular romance novelist named Yuki Eiri. Of course, things like love are never easy, and not only do they have their own relationship to worry about, they have to deal with the insanity that comes with being two popular celebrities. That's not including the prone-to-spazzing producer or gun-happy manager.
Of course, a band can't be made of just one person, and that's where Hiro comes in. Calm, level-headed, and mature most of the time, it seems like Hiro's the complete opposite of Shuichi; but like his friend, Hiro has his moments of spazzing out, though not as often. He's there to give support and advice whenever Shuichi needs it, and to listen when his friend needs a shoulder to cry on.
But in the end, they both share one dream; to reach the top.
Sample Post:
You know, I've gotta wonder about this place. Especially when the name itself is a dead giveaway that something isn't right. That's not including the fact that it's winter and this is supposed to be a summer camp. But if this is what Shuichi thinks will help him get inspiration to write, I'm not going to stop him.
The people here are pretty . . . interesting, though. I met a group of guys when I first arrived who were a little bit too friendly, if you know what I mean. Especially the one who offered to show me the Holy Land; girls might think battle scars are sexy, but a giant hole in the chest isn't exactly a turn-on, especially if you can see right through. I feel kind of bad for bolting on them, but his friend was talking about his "healing power" and going for his pants, and I really didn't want to stick around for that.
. . . maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all. Yeah, I wanted to see what this place was like, but there really isn't anything to see. Then again, maybe I'm missing something. The bulletin board was almost helpful, except I'm not about to trust anything written . . . is that blood?
Hey, you don't have to give me that look. I'm not insulting you, just pointing out that the writing looks like somebody--
. . . thanks for the demonstration, but I didn't have to see that. I saw signs for a hospital, so you might want to get that checked out before it gets infected. Or uh, the rest of them fall off. Ouch.
And before you leave, would you mind pointing me back towards the way out of here? I think I'll just go find a nice hotel somewhere far away and come back when it's time to leave. Besides, it looks like those guys from earlier might have followed me, and I'm not waiting around to see if pick-up lines are the only thing they suck at.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ema Skye
Series: Phoenix Wright
Character Age: 16
Canon: By now, most people reading this will be familiar with what is commonly known as "that gay lawyer game," but for those who aren't, the premise of the series goes something like this: Phoenix Wright is an up-and-coming defense attorney with pointy hair, lots of subtext with prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, and a habit of picking up adorable underage female sidekicks who top him. The second of these sidekicks is Ema Skye, a spunky, optimistic high school girl with a passion for science and a dream of becoming a forensic investigator. Unfortunately, she isn't very good at it yet, and most of her attempts at "scientific investigation" only succeed in further confusing Phoenix. At least what she lacks in knowledge, talent, or common sense, she makes up for in enthusiasm.
Sample Post:
What could be better than fresh air, new experiences, and the promise of new and exciting knowledge? Only one thing that I can think of! Fresh air, new experiences, and the promise of new and exciting knowledge... at summer camp! I've only been here a few hours, and I'm already having an amazing learning adventure! This is really going to broaden my horizons, I can tell.
There's one thing bugging me, though! We shouldn't be treating the zombies like something to be feared. I mean, they're here to learn too! Can't you hear them calling out for brains? Don't you admire their pursuit of knowledge, even after death? I know I do! I bet if we just knew a little more about the zombies, they wouldn't seem so scary at all! With that in mind, I think we should investigate them... with science!
For example, what do we know about where do zombies come from?
You know, this reminds me of a science fair experiment I did once. If two potatoes could power a clock, just think of what zombie power could do for humanity!
...
Can I borrow some electrodes?
Poll Vote!
Character: Laharl
Series: Disgaea
Character Age: 1313 (Pretty much acts and looks 13 though, extra numbers are weird. )
Canon: Laharl is the son of King Krichevskoy, the previous Overlord of the Netherworld, who choked and died on a black pretzel while Laharl was stuck in a drug induced nap for two years. Of course, not really caring about his old mans passing other than the fact that his title as Overlord was up for grabs, he starts to march down a path to claim the title for himself.
However to get said title, he had to deal with a plethora of freaks. Backstabbing demons, love obsessed angels, heroes of JUSTICE!!!11, Defenders of Earth, stupid people in general, oh, and a flamboyant demon named Mid-Boss.
Laharl has a very self-centered attitude, in that he believes he is all that and a bag of black pretzels. Which, in certain areas he definitely is. But being aggressive about pretty much everything and acting like a brat half the time doesn't help him gain the respect he thinks he deserves. He also despises love, kindness and pretty much every and anything positive. And of course, there is always the fact that he is horrified of sexy (female) bodies, to the point that it actually causes him physical pain. Put simply, the boy has issues.
Sample Post:
Hmhmhm... You people call this rundown dump a Netherworld? As if! Where are the torture racks? The castle with horrifying statues at the gates?! If I'm taking this place over, which I am, you could at least have something worth ruling!
But that isn't important! All of you best prepare yourself for a new ruler! I'll take over this place in no time at all! Then you will all sing the praises of Laharl, Overlord of Camp Fuc-- That is what this place is called? What kind of idiotic name is that for a Netherworld? Did someone drop the Overlord here on their head as a child? Multiple times? Only someone with brain damage would name the place they rule over that!
Wait a second... what if it's a warning? Hmhmhm... You thought you could catch me off guard, hm? HA! I don't think so! The almighty Overlord Laharl won't fall for such tricks! You there! Woman, direct me to your ruler! No, wait, don't. Just get the hell away from me and fall in some pit somewhere far, far away. Preferably one full of merciless creatures that will make it so I never have to look at you again! In fact, from here on, you and every girl like you shall maintain a three foot distance from me at all times!
Tche, forget it! This place clearly isn't worth my time! Not a damn thing here worth ruling! I'm leaving! Where the hell is the Dimensional Gatekeeper around here? There isn't one? Hmmm... Well fine then, there's only one simple solution to this! All of you are going to have to die! I need to clear the stage so I can warp back to my castle! How hard can that be? I'm leveled high enough to knock damn near anyone back home out in one hit!
Hmhmhm... HAAAAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA! I'll be back in the Netherworld in time to catch the reruns of "The Cruel, the Merciless, and the Pure and Unadulterated Evil," "Extreme Prinny Sports," and maybe even "The Price Is Your Life"!
Poll Vote!
Character: SpongeBob SquarePants
Series: SpongeBob SquarePants
Character Age: 20 (Have some IMDB!)
Canon: Are you ready, kids?! Welcome to
Bikini Bottom, a town where mass panic, the criminally insane, and
fruit-shaped houses are, well, almost the norm. Now, let's meet our
hero: bubble blowing, tie wearing, bucktoothed SpongeBob SquarePants
(yes, a sponge) is currently the resident fry cook at the Krusty Krab,
home of the famous Krabby Patty. As much as SpongeBob loves (and
pathetically depends on the emotional support of) his job, working for
Mr. Krabs (yes, a crab) is no cakewalk. Through right hand man
Patrick's paranoia-inducing misconceptions and SpongeBob's naivete,
simple tasks quickly turn into episode long adventures, chock full of
wacky hijinx.
SpongeBob is relentlessly cheerful, a little obsessive compulsive, and
oblivious to the point of aggravating latent homicidal tendencies.
When not practicing karate with his friend Sandy, a squirrel from
Texas, SpongeBob worships the washed up super heroes Mermaid Man and
Barnacle Boy, enjoys playing with his pet
snail Gary, and will never, ever be able to wrap his mind around
the concept of salads.
Sample Post:
Alright, just a little more to the right, and --
perfect! Thanks for all your help, Marcy. That big hole in the roof
you made is sure to bring in lots of hip young customers!
Ahem! Attention, bottom feeders, otters, and hiatus'd shounen heroes!
Hi there! My name's SpongeBob, and I'm the manager of Camp FUD's very
own Krusty Krabb! That's Krusty Kra-buh-buh. We ran into a few
copyright issues. Anyway! It is our duty to serve you kind people the
high quality, deep fried food you deserve, 22 hours a day, 7 days a
week! It would be 24, but I need time to count the sesame seeds.
Don't walk away just yet! Deep down inside each and every one of you,
there's a tiny ache -- a thirst for bus boy-dom and 100% customer
satisfaction. Listen to your heart. You know it to be true. The Krusty
Krabb will take you in, shelter you, teach you the proper personal
hygiene habits, and set you off on your journey to enlightenment.
So become a Krusty Krabb employee today! The hours are long, the pay
is low, and there's something sentient growing on the front desk, but
it's lots of fun! ...Well, here's an application, in case you change
your mind. Just give it to Marcy, she takes care of the paper work.
And don't forget your complementary Krusty Krabb hair net! I had our
new slogan embroidered across the front: "Remember! FUD is just like
FUN, without the N!"
...
Aw, tartar sauce. But I'm sure they'll come around eventually, Gary.
Now let's turn that frown upside down! We have interior decorating to
do!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ryuugasaki Momoko
Series: Shimotsuma Monogatari/Kamikaze Girls
Character Age: 17
Canon: Momoko is a modern Japanese teenager who wishes she'd been born 18th-century European nobility. As it is, she's a Lolita who's devoted to living a Rococo lifestyle, basically meaning that she values form over function. In fact, she prefers things that are pretty but utterly useless to things that are useful. To this end, she refuses to work or develop any real skills, instead spending most of her time doing embroidery and shopping for clothes, which are very important to her. Despite her frilly exterior and professed belief that women should be fragile and ladylike, however, she's also incredibly stubborn and independent in her own way.
Her speech patterns, incidentally, are a rather strange mix of formal, old-fashioned language and more ordinary teenage talk.
Sample App:
And to think I was actually looking forward to this trip to America.
Well, it's not Europe, but it might still be interesting. At any rate, it has to be better than Shimotsuma, home of thousands of rice paddies and about as many idiots... is what I thought. Unfortunately, it seems I was wrong. Shimotsuma, for all its faults, at least had roads, which is more than I can say for this place. And as hard as it is to get into the Rococo spirit while strolling past the endless rice paddies of home, it's harder still when strolling through a swamp. I really don't think that this was a common pastime for French noblewomen ("What shall we do after luncheon, Marie?" "Why don't we go slog through ankle-deep mud?" "Oh yes, that sounds lovely!" Yeah right). My shoes may never be the same- to say nothing of my dress. If they can't be salvaged, I will not be happy.
It is especially hard to feel properly delicate and feminine while carrying a shotgun. A shotgun is not, and never will be, a delicate and feminine weapon. There is absolutely no way to make it one. Even if it were pink and had lace and ribbons... not that it would actually look good like that. In fact, I have a bit of trouble even picturing it. If I must have a gun, I could at least have gotten one of those little pistols with the pearl handles that ladies in novels sometimes keep in their purses and bedside drawers. Now, that would be a more proper sort of weapon- not that I'd use it, of course, but it would look better. Almost elegant, even. This... well, isn't. (And don't even get me started on this tracksuit they gave me. Ugh, tracksuits- as if I haven't seen enough of those at home to last me a lifetime.) And besides, I'm not quite sure I understand why I was given a gun in the first place- not only do I not know how to use it, I have yet to run across anything to use it on.
... All right, make that nothing except for the ravening horde of wild animals that appear to be eyeing me from the trees (where on earth did those come from? And what are they?).
Well, looks like it's time to start running away!
Poll Vote!
Character: Chrno
Series: Chrno Crusade
Age: ? (looks 12 normally)
Canon: It's the roaring twenties, and all is not well. Enter the Magdalan Order, a group whose goal is to combat the rising demon populace using exorcists and militia, while keeping down the collateral damage -- with the exception of one Sister Rosette Christopher, who tried really hard not to let that building explode, honest... and also needs a new car. Accompanying her is the demon Chrno, her assistant and "stress relief" (he gets to snark a little, and she bashes his head in. It's a mutually beneficial relationship).
Although Chrno truly cares for Rosette, they are tied by more than just friendship. Rosette is his 'contractor', allowing him to use her life in exchange for being able to fight by her side. However, she's not one to emo, and she's taught Chrno the same: that he should live for the moment and enjoy the time he does have with the people he's come to care for.
Chrno is typically sweet, forgiving, and self-sacrificing. He exhibits a lot of patience with others, putting up with distrust due to his demonic nature or just Rosette's rather physical way of reprimanding him, though he's not above sarcastic commentary over Rosette's latest mishap. He usually appears as a child, but he has a dangerous temper when provoked, as it can unleash his powers or even his demon form.
Note: Elder is the Order's ammunition specialist/pervy old man.
Sample Post:
Ah... this isn't usually my job, but I don't see Rosette anywhere she's probably off napping someplace so--
Could I have everyone's attention, please! This area is under jurisdiction of the Magdalene order and is under quarantine due to excessive demon activity. It's probably best if you all go someplace, er... very far away, and don't mind any roars or gunshots or anything else suspicious like that. I know it's interesting but it's not worth losing an arm. Because arms can't grow back, right? Except maybe for you, sir. That's very talented, but I don't need to see it again, thanks... So, has anyone seen Sister Rosette Christopher? I need to find her as soon as I can, there's something important I've got to tell her. Actually, the nearest car crash or uncontrolled blaze works too. Er - the sooner the better, I'm kinda late already. But it's not my fault! Every time I tried to get here I got something called a 'DATABASE ERROR'. It was... frustrating after the fourteenth time or so, and I overdid it a little. I think. Maybe someone should send a medic for that gorilla back there... Ah ha ha Rosette's gonna be really pissed. Maybe there's still time to escape...
I guess we're here to confirm a report. It's something about 'Unidentified Spiritual Turbulence' - UST, for short. It's not like Rosette and I know anything about that, but we'll do our best. The Order also thinks an apostle might be involved. The report got cut off at 'healing light of', but they want us to check it out anyway. I don't think they could have been any more vague if they tried. That's hardly a clue at all.
...And one more thing for Rosette, wherever you are. Don't shoot the messenger, it's not nice and it's not my fault, but Elder says you're supposed to pick up some new 'nice' underwear or you're not allowed to test new ammo anymore. The... locals recommend Victoria Secret's new passion-red push-up bra with matching lace thong.
T-there, I said it.
Character: Chrno
Series: Chrno Crusade (manga)
Character Age: Looks around 12, real age unknown
Canon: In Chrno Crusade, demons generally spend their time gallivanting around their realm and sometimes invade the human world for kicks. Chrno isn't that kind of demon; instead he sinned against his kind, suffered emo circumstances and got sealed in a tomb for 50 years. Skip forward to 1924, and Chrno is now the contracted partner of one Rosette Christopher of the Magdalan Order. Together they go about searching for Rosette's lost brother, and "exorcising" (read: kicking the asses of) demons who pop up in the human world.
While Rosette normally shouts and swears and blows stuff up with wild abandon, Chrno instead watches this with mild exasperation and dismay, and sometimes adds some snark. He's quite often the voice of reason and will patiently aid Rosette with whatever she's doing. Until she gets hurt, in which case he will go batshit insane. Chrno is otherwise a gentle person who hates causing people harm. This is compounded by his contract with Rosette, wherein he drains her lifespan in order to use his powers. To this end Chrno tries to use his powers as little as possible and is determined to help her find her brother. Ultimately, Chrno is kind, loyal, and serious beyond his 12-year-old appearance.
Sample Post:
This is 'Camp Fuck You Die', right? Catching the train here was easy enough, but no one in the Order could remember the route Rosette took. It was difficult finding the right path to follow since they were all marked 'Certain Doom -->', though picking the straightest one lined with the rudest flowers turned out right. The screaming about punk kids on their lawn must be why they're called 'Forget-Me-Nots'.
Oh, sorry - my name's Chrno, and I was directed here by the Magdalan Order. There's been a number of reports and complaints about demonic activity at this camp, but I'm not sure about the seriousness of these claims… not just because some were written with sparkling ink. If some of these really came from people here I can at least disprove some of them and clear up the confusion. It might be better if I go through some of them as examples of what's demonic or not.
* The computers are possessed and I can't take it anymore!
I tried the usual exorcism methods, some less than usual ones and even kicking it, but nothing worked. I'm pretty sure that whatever's affecting this machine isn't a demon at all. Trying a few exorcisms in a row did result in the screen turning blue with the message "You're doing it wrong". I tried again, but I had to stop when it threatened me with Internet lawyers and refused to work after that.
* A demon ate my baby!
I'm sorry, but since I actually saw what happened, there are two things you should know. That wasn't a demon; it was a zombie dingo. And it wasn't a baby it was eating, it was some kind of white teddy bear with red antenna. Unless, ah, that actually was someone's baby… if it's true, I'm sorry for your loss. He looked like an energetic young bear.
* I think my boyfriend might be evil! He's so mean, and he's a DEMON in the sack and i-iyaaaaan~.
… I didn't check into that one. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, though if he really only reacts that way when tied up, maybe you should avoid being in or near the sack with him.
Just take a closer look at things and you'll find they're not demonic at all. It's not much better, since I can't think of any other reason for a place where gorillas bowl with zombie parts. But if there are any genuine demon attacks at all, then you can tell me and I'll do my best to stop them.
On that note … if anyone's seen my partner Rosette Christopher around, could they please tell me right away? We're in something of a hurry, and it's hard finding her without any damaged buildings or smashed cars to point me in the right direction.
Poll Vote!
You are now required to put up-to-date contact information in your journal profiles. This goes for each character you play! Just make sure your working e-mail is somewhere in your profile - we need to be able to contact you if the occasion arises. If we can't, it's your responsibility, so please take care of this!
After you make sure you're covered, have another fantastic round! ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Series: Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane
Character age: 16
Canon: Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane is what you get if you rewrite Spider-Man as a shoujo manga. Full of romance, bright colors, and netspeak, SM♥MJ takes the Spider-Man story, de-emphasizes the crime-fighting and brings it back to the story of a girl and a boy falling in love.
That boy, in this case, is Peter Parker, who's very secretly Spider-Man. Dorky and well-meaning, Peter's always ready to crack a joke or lend an ear, and he's not above sticking to his guns and getting beat up to spend a little more time with his crush. Plagued by an alter-ego, Peter has the misfortune of always having to leave conversations at the worst times with the worst excuses, usually about his aunt and her needing him, which only adds to his unfortunate social ineptitude. He has no delusions about his status in life; he's a geek and he knows it. Still, if the ability to recite the periodic table backwards from memory doesn't impress that girl you like, what will?
If you said "my super-secret alter-ego" who is a superhero and loved by millions (including your dream girl), and who has all the snark and self-confidence most people don't notice when you're just Peter Parker, well. It's a secret. Spider-Man never talks about his personal life when he's in costume; he's much more likely to crack a joke to avoid the question.
Sample post:
Ooo-kay, nice place you've got here. Really. I love the decorations--is that swamp gas? Because nothing, and I mean nothing, says classy like swamp gas. It's the new black. You can take it from me. I should know! Just look at me.
What do you mean red-and-blue spandex is totally last season? I'll have you know it was never in. You have to know a lot about fashion to make an outfit this out. Yeah, it's hard to make this look good, but how else will people know who . . . you don't know who I am? Wow, and I thought I was on every news channel in New York. I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. You know, crime-fighting, web-slinging, wall-climbing? Like a spider. Who fights crime. Except my webbing doesn't come out of my opisthosoma. I don't even have an opisthosoma.
Tough crowd! I guess the biology jokes aren't big with you guys. Bounce back, Spidey, bounce back. That's okay! Because I'm not here to crack jokes--that's my side job. I'm here to help you guys! That's right, I'm free for everyone in the Big Apple.
. . . Louisiana? That's getting a little out of my area. I mean, there's a reason I'm not your friendly national Spider-Man. Train fare is killer. Not that I ride the train or anything. That would be lame. Heh heh heh. But! I guess since I'm here--how am I here again?--I can make an exception. So, guys, what's the issue? What've you got for villains? Mudface? Black Goblin? Mardi-Gras Man?
Zombies, huh? You should really hire an interior decorator or something. Exterior, I guess. Maybe both--I swear I saw something growing in that cabin. While you're at it, maybe tell me where the real villain is? There has to be some criminal mastermind behind these guys, maybe a psycho in an animal costume? I'm not picky. Rhino or crocodile or raccoon or . . .
Purple gorilla! I'll take that as a welcome mat. Look out, Louisiana, here comes the Spider-Man!
Poll Vote!
Character: Nakano Hiro
Series: Gravitation
Character Age: 19
Canon: Known for its shounen-ai goodness, Gravitation is the story of Shindou Shuichi, a rising pop star for the band Bad Luck who ends up falling for a popular romance novelist named Yuki Eiri. Of course, things like love are never easy, and not only do they have their own relationship to worry about, they have to deal with the insanity that comes with being two popular celebrities. That's not including the prone-to-spazzing producer or gun-happy manager.
Of course, a band can't be made of just one person, and that's where Hiro comes in. Calm, level-headed, and mature most of the time, it seems like Hiro's the complete opposite of Shuichi; but like his friend, Hiro has his moments of spazzing out, though not as often. He's there to give support and advice whenever Shuichi needs it, and to listen when his friend needs a shoulder to cry on.
But in the end, they both share one dream; to reach the top.
Sample Post:
You know, I've gotta wonder about this place. Especially when the name itself is a dead giveaway that something isn't right. That's not including the fact that it's winter and this is supposed to be a summer camp. But if this is what Shuichi thinks will help him get inspiration to write, I'm not going to stop him.
The people here are pretty . . . interesting, though. I met a group of guys when I first arrived who were a little bit too friendly, if you know what I mean. Especially the one who offered to show me the Holy Land; girls might think battle scars are sexy, but a giant hole in the chest isn't exactly a turn-on, especially if you can see right through. I feel kind of bad for bolting on them, but his friend was talking about his "healing power" and going for his pants, and I really didn't want to stick around for that.
. . . maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all. Yeah, I wanted to see what this place was like, but there really isn't anything to see. Then again, maybe I'm missing something. The bulletin board was almost helpful, except I'm not about to trust anything written . . . is that blood?
Hey, you don't have to give me that look. I'm not insulting you, just pointing out that the writing looks like somebody--
. . . thanks for the demonstration, but I didn't have to see that. I saw signs for a hospital, so you might want to get that checked out before it gets infected. Or uh, the rest of them fall off. Ouch.
And before you leave, would you mind pointing me back towards the way out of here? I think I'll just go find a nice hotel somewhere far away and come back when it's time to leave. Besides, it looks like those guys from earlier might have followed me, and I'm not waiting around to see if pick-up lines are the only thing they suck at.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ema Skye
Series: Phoenix Wright
Character Age: 16
Canon: By now, most people reading this will be familiar with what is commonly known as "that gay lawyer game," but for those who aren't, the premise of the series goes something like this: Phoenix Wright is an up-and-coming defense attorney with pointy hair, lots of subtext with prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, and a habit of picking up adorable underage female sidekicks who top him. The second of these sidekicks is Ema Skye, a spunky, optimistic high school girl with a passion for science and a dream of becoming a forensic investigator. Unfortunately, she isn't very good at it yet, and most of her attempts at "scientific investigation" only succeed in further confusing Phoenix. At least what she lacks in knowledge, talent, or common sense, she makes up for in enthusiasm.
Sample Post:
What could be better than fresh air, new experiences, and the promise of new and exciting knowledge? Only one thing that I can think of! Fresh air, new experiences, and the promise of new and exciting knowledge... at summer camp! I've only been here a few hours, and I'm already having an amazing learning adventure! This is really going to broaden my horizons, I can tell.
There's one thing bugging me, though! We shouldn't be treating the zombies like something to be feared. I mean, they're here to learn too! Can't you hear them calling out for brains? Don't you admire their pursuit of knowledge, even after death? I know I do! I bet if we just knew a little more about the zombies, they wouldn't seem so scary at all! With that in mind, I think we should investigate them... with science!
For example, what do we know about where do zombies come from?
- They start out underground.
- Under the right conditions (warm, damp nutrient-rich soil) they undergo a beautiful transformation!
- They emerge from the ground, green and full of life!
You know, this reminds me of a science fair experiment I did once. If two potatoes could power a clock, just think of what zombie power could do for humanity!
...
Can I borrow some electrodes?
Poll Vote!
Character: Laharl
Series: Disgaea
Character Age: 1313 (Pretty much acts and looks 13 though, extra numbers are weird. )
Canon: Laharl is the son of King Krichevskoy, the previous Overlord of the Netherworld, who choked and died on a black pretzel while Laharl was stuck in a drug induced nap for two years. Of course, not really caring about his old mans passing other than the fact that his title as Overlord was up for grabs, he starts to march down a path to claim the title for himself.
However to get said title, he had to deal with a plethora of freaks. Backstabbing demons, love obsessed angels, heroes of JUSTICE!!!11, Defenders of Earth, stupid people in general, oh, and a flamboyant demon named Mid-Boss.
Laharl has a very self-centered attitude, in that he believes he is all that and a bag of black pretzels. Which, in certain areas he definitely is. But being aggressive about pretty much everything and acting like a brat half the time doesn't help him gain the respect he thinks he deserves. He also despises love, kindness and pretty much every and anything positive. And of course, there is always the fact that he is horrified of sexy (female) bodies, to the point that it actually causes him physical pain. Put simply, the boy has issues.
Sample Post:
Hmhmhm... You people call this rundown dump a Netherworld? As if! Where are the torture racks? The castle with horrifying statues at the gates?! If I'm taking this place over, which I am, you could at least have something worth ruling!
But that isn't important! All of you best prepare yourself for a new ruler! I'll take over this place in no time at all! Then you will all sing the praises of Laharl, Overlord of Camp Fuc-- That is what this place is called? What kind of idiotic name is that for a Netherworld? Did someone drop the Overlord here on their head as a child? Multiple times? Only someone with brain damage would name the place they rule over that!
Wait a second... what if it's a warning? Hmhmhm... You thought you could catch me off guard, hm? HA! I don't think so! The almighty Overlord Laharl won't fall for such tricks! You there! Woman, direct me to your ruler! No, wait, don't. Just get the hell away from me and fall in some pit somewhere far, far away. Preferably one full of merciless creatures that will make it so I never have to look at you again! In fact, from here on, you and every girl like you shall maintain a three foot distance from me at all times!
Tche, forget it! This place clearly isn't worth my time! Not a damn thing here worth ruling! I'm leaving! Where the hell is the Dimensional Gatekeeper around here? There isn't one? Hmmm... Well fine then, there's only one simple solution to this! All of you are going to have to die! I need to clear the stage so I can warp back to my castle! How hard can that be? I'm leveled high enough to knock damn near anyone back home out in one hit!
Hmhmhm... HAAAAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA! I'll be back in the Netherworld in time to catch the reruns of "The Cruel, the Merciless, and the Pure and Unadulterated Evil," "Extreme Prinny Sports," and maybe even "The Price Is Your Life"!
Poll Vote!
Character: SpongeBob SquarePants
Series: SpongeBob SquarePants
Character Age: 20 (Have some IMDB!)
Canon: Are you ready, kids?! Welcome to
Bikini Bottom, a town where mass panic, the criminally insane, and
fruit-shaped houses are, well, almost the norm. Now, let's meet our
hero: bubble blowing, tie wearing, bucktoothed SpongeBob SquarePants
(yes, a sponge) is currently the resident fry cook at the Krusty Krab,
home of the famous Krabby Patty. As much as SpongeBob loves (and
pathetically depends on the emotional support of) his job, working for
Mr. Krabs (yes, a crab) is no cakewalk. Through right hand man
Patrick's paranoia-inducing misconceptions and SpongeBob's naivete,
simple tasks quickly turn into episode long adventures, chock full of
wacky hijinx.
SpongeBob is relentlessly cheerful, a little obsessive compulsive, and
oblivious to the point of aggravating latent homicidal tendencies.
When not practicing karate with his friend Sandy, a squirrel from
Texas, SpongeBob worships the washed up super heroes Mermaid Man and
Barnacle Boy, enjoys playing with his pet
snail Gary, and will never, ever be able to wrap his mind around
the concept of salads.
Sample Post:
Alright, just a little more to the right, and --
perfect! Thanks for all your help, Marcy. That big hole in the roof
you made is sure to bring in lots of hip young customers!
Ahem! Attention, bottom feeders, otters, and hiatus'd shounen heroes!
Hi there! My name's SpongeBob, and I'm the manager of Camp FUD's very
own Krusty Krabb! That's Krusty Kra-buh-buh. We ran into a few
copyright issues. Anyway! It is our duty to serve you kind people the
high quality, deep fried food you deserve, 22 hours a day, 7 days a
week! It would be 24, but I need time to count the sesame seeds.
Don't walk away just yet! Deep down inside each and every one of you,
there's a tiny ache -- a thirst for bus boy-dom and 100% customer
satisfaction. Listen to your heart. You know it to be true. The Krusty
Krabb will take you in, shelter you, teach you the proper personal
hygiene habits, and set you off on your journey to enlightenment.
So become a Krusty Krabb employee today! The hours are long, the pay
is low, and there's something sentient growing on the front desk, but
it's lots of fun! ...Well, here's an application, in case you change
your mind. Just give it to Marcy, she takes care of the paper work.
And don't forget your complementary Krusty Krabb hair net! I had our
new slogan embroidered across the front: "Remember! FUD is just like
FUN, without the N!"
...
Aw, tartar sauce. But I'm sure they'll come around eventually, Gary.
Now let's turn that frown upside down! We have interior decorating to
do!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ryuugasaki Momoko
Series: Shimotsuma Monogatari/Kamikaze Girls
Character Age: 17
Canon: Momoko is a modern Japanese teenager who wishes she'd been born 18th-century European nobility. As it is, she's a Lolita who's devoted to living a Rococo lifestyle, basically meaning that she values form over function. In fact, she prefers things that are pretty but utterly useless to things that are useful. To this end, she refuses to work or develop any real skills, instead spending most of her time doing embroidery and shopping for clothes, which are very important to her. Despite her frilly exterior and professed belief that women should be fragile and ladylike, however, she's also incredibly stubborn and independent in her own way.
Her speech patterns, incidentally, are a rather strange mix of formal, old-fashioned language and more ordinary teenage talk.
Sample App:
And to think I was actually looking forward to this trip to America.
Well, it's not Europe, but it might still be interesting. At any rate, it has to be better than Shimotsuma, home of thousands of rice paddies and about as many idiots... is what I thought. Unfortunately, it seems I was wrong. Shimotsuma, for all its faults, at least had roads, which is more than I can say for this place. And as hard as it is to get into the Rococo spirit while strolling past the endless rice paddies of home, it's harder still when strolling through a swamp. I really don't think that this was a common pastime for French noblewomen ("What shall we do after luncheon, Marie?" "Why don't we go slog through ankle-deep mud?" "Oh yes, that sounds lovely!" Yeah right). My shoes may never be the same- to say nothing of my dress. If they can't be salvaged, I will not be happy.
It is especially hard to feel properly delicate and feminine while carrying a shotgun. A shotgun is not, and never will be, a delicate and feminine weapon. There is absolutely no way to make it one. Even if it were pink and had lace and ribbons... not that it would actually look good like that. In fact, I have a bit of trouble even picturing it. If I must have a gun, I could at least have gotten one of those little pistols with the pearl handles that ladies in novels sometimes keep in their purses and bedside drawers. Now, that would be a more proper sort of weapon- not that I'd use it, of course, but it would look better. Almost elegant, even. This... well, isn't. (And don't even get me started on this tracksuit they gave me. Ugh, tracksuits- as if I haven't seen enough of those at home to last me a lifetime.) And besides, I'm not quite sure I understand why I was given a gun in the first place- not only do I not know how to use it, I have yet to run across anything to use it on.
... All right, make that nothing except for the ravening horde of wild animals that appear to be eyeing me from the trees (where on earth did those come from? And what are they?).
Well, looks like it's time to start running away!
Poll Vote!
Character: Chrno
Series: Chrno Crusade
Age: ? (looks 12 normally)
Canon: It's the roaring twenties, and all is not well. Enter the Magdalan Order, a group whose goal is to combat the rising demon populace using exorcists and militia, while keeping down the collateral damage -- with the exception of one Sister Rosette Christopher, who tried really hard not to let that building explode, honest... and also needs a new car. Accompanying her is the demon Chrno, her assistant and "stress relief" (he gets to snark a little, and she bashes his head in. It's a mutually beneficial relationship).
Although Chrno truly cares for Rosette, they are tied by more than just friendship. Rosette is his 'contractor', allowing him to use her life in exchange for being able to fight by her side. However, she's not one to emo, and she's taught Chrno the same: that he should live for the moment and enjoy the time he does have with the people he's come to care for.
Chrno is typically sweet, forgiving, and self-sacrificing. He exhibits a lot of patience with others, putting up with distrust due to his demonic nature or just Rosette's rather physical way of reprimanding him, though he's not above sarcastic commentary over Rosette's latest mishap. He usually appears as a child, but he has a dangerous temper when provoked, as it can unleash his powers or even his demon form.
Note: Elder is the Order's ammunition specialist/pervy old man.
Sample Post:
Ah... this isn't usually my job, but I don't see Rosette anywhere she's probably off napping someplace so--
Could I have everyone's attention, please! This area is under jurisdiction of the Magdalene order and is under quarantine due to excessive demon activity. It's probably best if you all go someplace, er... very far away, and don't mind any roars or gunshots or anything else suspicious like that. I know it's interesting but it's not worth losing an arm. Because arms can't grow back, right? Except maybe for you, sir. That's very talented, but I don't need to see it again, thanks... So, has anyone seen Sister Rosette Christopher? I need to find her as soon as I can, there's something important I've got to tell her. Actually, the nearest car crash or uncontrolled blaze works too. Er - the sooner the better, I'm kinda late already. But it's not my fault! Every time I tried to get here I got something called a 'DATABASE ERROR'. It was... frustrating after the fourteenth time or so, and I overdid it a little. I think. Maybe someone should send a medic for that gorilla back there... Ah ha ha Rosette's gonna be really pissed. Maybe there's still time to escape...
I guess we're here to confirm a report. It's something about 'Unidentified Spiritual Turbulence' - UST, for short. It's not like Rosette and I know anything about that, but we'll do our best. The Order also thinks an apostle might be involved. The report got cut off at 'healing light of', but they want us to check it out anyway. I don't think they could have been any more vague if they tried. That's hardly a clue at all.
...And one more thing for Rosette, wherever you are. Don't shoot the messenger, it's not nice and it's not my fault, but Elder says you're supposed to pick up some new 'nice' underwear or you're not allowed to test new ammo anymore. The... locals recommend Victoria Secret's new passion-red push-up bra with matching lace thong.
T-there, I said it.
Character: Chrno
Series: Chrno Crusade (manga)
Character Age: Looks around 12, real age unknown
Canon: In Chrno Crusade, demons generally spend their time gallivanting around their realm and sometimes invade the human world for kicks. Chrno isn't that kind of demon; instead he sinned against his kind, suffered emo circumstances and got sealed in a tomb for 50 years. Skip forward to 1924, and Chrno is now the contracted partner of one Rosette Christopher of the Magdalan Order. Together they go about searching for Rosette's lost brother, and "exorcising" (read: kicking the asses of) demons who pop up in the human world.
While Rosette normally shouts and swears and blows stuff up with wild abandon, Chrno instead watches this with mild exasperation and dismay, and sometimes adds some snark. He's quite often the voice of reason and will patiently aid Rosette with whatever she's doing. Until she gets hurt, in which case he will go batshit insane. Chrno is otherwise a gentle person who hates causing people harm. This is compounded by his contract with Rosette, wherein he drains her lifespan in order to use his powers. To this end Chrno tries to use his powers as little as possible and is determined to help her find her brother. Ultimately, Chrno is kind, loyal, and serious beyond his 12-year-old appearance.
Sample Post:
This is 'Camp Fuck You Die', right? Catching the train here was easy enough, but no one in the Order could remember the route Rosette took. It was difficult finding the right path to follow since they were all marked 'Certain Doom -->', though picking the straightest one lined with the rudest flowers turned out right. The screaming about punk kids on their lawn must be why they're called 'Forget-Me-Nots'.
Oh, sorry - my name's Chrno, and I was directed here by the Magdalan Order. There's been a number of reports and complaints about demonic activity at this camp, but I'm not sure about the seriousness of these claims… not just because some were written with sparkling ink. If some of these really came from people here I can at least disprove some of them and clear up the confusion. It might be better if I go through some of them as examples of what's demonic or not.
* The computers are possessed and I can't take it anymore!
I tried the usual exorcism methods, some less than usual ones and even kicking it, but nothing worked. I'm pretty sure that whatever's affecting this machine isn't a demon at all. Trying a few exorcisms in a row did result in the screen turning blue with the message "You're doing it wrong". I tried again, but I had to stop when it threatened me with Internet lawyers and refused to work after that.
* A demon ate my baby!
I'm sorry, but since I actually saw what happened, there are two things you should know. That wasn't a demon; it was a zombie dingo. And it wasn't a baby it was eating, it was some kind of white teddy bear with red antenna. Unless, ah, that actually was someone's baby… if it's true, I'm sorry for your loss. He looked like an energetic young bear.
* I think my boyfriend might be evil! He's so mean, and he's a DEMON in the sack and i-iyaaaaan~.
… I didn't check into that one. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, though if he really only reacts that way when tied up, maybe you should avoid being in or near the sack with him.
Just take a closer look at things and you'll find they're not demonic at all. It's not much better, since I can't think of any other reason for a place where gorillas bowl with zombie parts. But if there are any genuine demon attacks at all, then you can tell me and I'll do my best to stop them.
On that note … if anyone's seen my partner Rosette Christopher around, could they please tell me right away? We're in something of a hurry, and it's hard finding her without any damaged buildings or smashed cars to point me in the right direction.
Poll Vote!