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Unicode hates me, jedera's voting post is still open at the moment, and please read the note on her post. ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Christine Gargamel
Series: Hitherby Dragons: Unclean Legacy
Age: 17
Canon: Christine is one of the twin daughters of Montechristien Gargamel. Yes, that Gargamel, who tried to capture the Smurfs. Being a twin in the Unclean Legacy universe means that only one sibling has the soul, and in this case, it was Christine. This imparts with it a responsibility, as if she does not earn a place in Heaven, neither does her sister. Unfortunately for Christine, she is as flawed a person as any other and as such she deals with this by manifesting a Bad House (being Baba Yaga's house of scything, murdering fun) as an infant and by constantly attributing all of her taint to Sophie. She also believes that by killing Sophie, then Christine is saving Sophie from herself and both will go to Heaven. One can see the flaws with that argument.
Surprisingly, though, Christine is on good terms with most of her siblings. Also, like the rest of her siblings, Christine has some form of paranormal ability - in her case she is a very talented sorceress.
Sample Post:
This is not my father's realm, although it is certainly just as peculiar. In his lands, there is no place where my house cannot traverse and no-one would dare to gainsay me, and I am confident that had there been luridly-colored gorillas in the past, I would have remembered them. Especially luridly-colored, amorous gorillas, as it would be quite difficult to ignore those. It is clear that only one person could be responsible for this. This missive must be written, as much as it pains me to do so. Please transcribe, rotting creature of twisted sorcery, in order that I might have liberty to release you from your spell.
"Dear Ms Elizabeth,
I am afraid that there has been a terrible mistake and that you have abducted me under false pretenses; it was not I who murdered your fiance. My twin, Sophie ... she is a soulless girl and cares little for right or wrong. I wish I had stopped her before she had committed the act. As we are identical twins, I will forgive your mistake as to our identities along with the gorillas, zombies and other assorted misshapen creatures that you have sent to attack me, as I hope you will forgive me for ...their unfortunate end. I understand that you and I share a common goal: Sophie's redemption. Free me, and I shall execute her for her crimes against you.
In return, I ask you to release the other captives and return them to their respective homes, including my two siblings. Our father will be wondering where we have gone and I certainly would not want to anger him, powerful as he is. I imagine that you would not seek to do so, or to anger his equally potent progeny who are innocent of murder. Of course, we are both sensible people and can come to an agreement in regards to this misunderstanding without any unnecessary unpleasantness.
My profound sympathies for your loss,
Christine Gargamel."
Yes, now give it to the toucan - no, do not lick the toucan, you cannot "taste the rainbow" and leave us. Now fly my pretty, fly! Convey my message to your mistress. I will be able to free all those affected by my sister's influence once the Director has read my letter and acted upon it. I will be watching to ensure that you do deliver the message. I have just called a lurid, telepathic toucan "pretty". Her reply cannot come soon enough.
Poll Vote!
Character: Pratty
Series: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story
Age: Around 15
Canon: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story is a game following the child of a hero named Shintetsu, who died three years before the start of the game, as they try to follow in their father's footsteps. At the beginning of the game you can choose whether the child is a boy or a girl; Pratty is the girl.
The game starts with Pratty being allowed into a tournament to decide who will take her father's place as the Craftlord of Iron. Craftlords are basically blacksmiths who forge especially strong weapons with the help of guardian beasts (Pratty's beast's name is Sugar) summoned from the spirit world, and who rule the city of Wystern where Pratty lives. She fights as a representative of the Silver Guild, receiving techniques from the head of the guild throughout the game that she uses to make stronger and stronger weapons for her fights. Victory in the tournament remains Pratty's main focus for most of the game, along with learning more about her father and the events leading to his death.
Pratty is a normal, usually cheerful, girl, although she does have a shortish temper when it comes to people intruding on her without permission, acting like they think she's still a child, or insulting her work. She's a little on the dense side, for instance she didn't realize that one of her friends was a girl for most of the game in spite of people calling her one in front of Pratty several times, but is'nt totally stupid. She's almost always willing to see the good in people, even when they're her enemies, and if she thinks someone has a good side she'll defend them when others insult them no matter what they've done to her in the past.
Note: the only guns in the game are stray summons (its name for random encounter monsters).
Sample Post:
Hello everyone, is this Camp? It is, isn't it? Wow, I didn't really expect to find this place! I had to follow such weird directions to get here, like the last part was 'follow the shore of the glowing lake until you can see buildings', that I thought I was being sent on a wild goose chase. Some of the people I work with back home like doing that to me; they think it builds character or something.
Wow, I can really see why that director woman wrote to ask for a Craftlord to come in here. It's awfully brave of so many of you to use stray summons for weapons and all, but aren't you afraid they'll turn around and attack you some day? I guarantee you'll all be so impressed with my work that you'll never need to touch them again! I can make you a sword so light that there's no chance the weight of it will make your arm fall off, which, um, kind've looks like the sort've thing some of you might need to worry about, if you don't mind me saying so. Don't worry! The Craftlords of Wystern understand that people with leprosy need to defend themselves too, and we will not discriminate against you! Ha! And some of the people in town thought I was too young to be diplomatic.
I don't actually have any swords for you to look at right now, though. In the woods just before I got to camp I heard someone say "We's been lookin' for new weapons for The Family. Show us what you got, Girly." I thought whoever it was was going to be my first customer, and I was so excited that I started laying out the samples I brought without even wondering why he didn't come out where I could see him. But then, as soon as I had the swords out, these toucans flew down and stole them! What sort've jerk trains birds to steal for him? If his family needed weapons that much, we could've worked something out!
But it's still okay! I've got lots of other types of weapons to show everyone. So just look them over, and tell me what you want, then I'll head back to Wystern so I can get to work on your orders with my Guardian Beast! Don't worry, you don't need to pay until you have your weapon in hand.
...What do you mean I can't leave? That's a joke, right? Not a very funny one, but...
But, I can't make weapons good enough to sell without Sugar helping me. Wait! Not that kind of sugar! Ew EW EW, leper kisses! Don't touch me!
Oh, heck. Punching that guy's nose off messes up the whole diplomacy thing, doesn't it?
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Shuichi
Series: Gravitation (manga version)
Age: 19
Canon: Shindou Shuichi did not have to be on reality TV to become a music star. However, his path to fame still couldn’t be any more unorthodox. Between trigger happy American managers, TV appearances that have nothing to do with music and a trip to New York via kidnapping, it’s clear he’s not always in a sane environment. Oh well. The pink haired idol was never the perfect model for sanity anyway.
To say that he's optimistic, energetic and an occasional spaz is like saying the Grand Canyon is just a hole in the ground. With a habit of speaking without thinking and randomly dressing up in bizarre costumes such as a suitcase, a battery, and a banana suit, he’s also ruined plenty of serious scenes. However, part of his personality has paid off when it comes to being in the music industry. He’s known to be stubborn about whatever or whoever he feels passionate about. He can also be very affectionate and loyal to his loved ones. There are only three issues that push his emo buttons; his tortured writer boyfriend, Yuki, losing his friends and his confidence as a performer.
Sample Post:
What do you mean 'not big enough', 'could be better', and 'doesn’t bring all the boys to the yard'? My brains aren't good enough for you? FINE! I see how it is! And I looked up 'garish'! There's nothing wrong with having pink hair you know!
...Ahem. Attention to the non-hungry masses! I have a public service announcement!
There was a mix up! I wasn't supposed to sing at the 'Concert For Undead Duckies'. I was told to sing at the 'Magnificent Wedding of Mr. Psycho Toucan and Miss Fanged Squirrel'. Was there a typo in the invitation? There were red stains on it too. The couple really wanted me to come; they even hired a guy to get me! If he wasn't five hundred pounds and in a fur suit, I would’ve thought my manager was giving another mandatory gig. I think gorilla man's rifle was the same type he uses too...
But it was fun singing at the concert! I appreciated the red carpet welcome too! At least, I think that's what it was. I thought carpets were supposed to have tassels, not talons...? Were they supposed to be twitching too? And speaking of awfully different, you wouldn't believe what kind of crowd greeted me. They bought tickets by giving away their arms and legs! That should never happen! Especially when the seller is a parrot with an eye patch and a peg leg!
Other than being unarmed, they were just like any other audience in a way. I liked the other stuff they were willing to throw! The flowers I got are in colors I’ve never even seen before! It's interesting what performers would get from their fans! Phone numbers, sometimes rotten vegetables if it's a bad act, and --just like what that tree's doing-- the crazier ones toss underwear!
...GAH! My story isn't encouragement! Keep YOUR bra on, sir!
Poll Vote!
Character: Gaara
Series: Naruto
Age: 15
Canon: Out of all the twisted childhoods of the characters in Naruto, Gaara's is perhaps the worst. Following the series' trend that all of the adults must be fundamentally less intelligent than the children, Gaara's father sacrificed his wife in order to stick a giant demon badger in his son to create a weapon for his village. This little boy grew a bit, and his father went “hoshit, can't control his power” and promptly began ordering assassination attempts. However, because of the fact that the demon in Gaara caused sand to automatically protect him, he never died. He also never slept. Ever. Which unfortunately left him awake to witness the assassination attempts, which are often made in the middle of the night and usually spare their victims the repetitive mental trauma. Such as discovering that the assassin in question was the one person you thought loved you. That sort of thing. So the trauma took its toll, and Gaara grew into a quite disturbed boy who existed only to terrify or kill everybody else, addressed the demon as “mother”, and was sent on a mission with his siblings to help invade Konoha. Because it's always smart to expect the people you mistreat to be completely obedient to you.
While in Konoha, Gaara's mental state deteriorated rapidly, and for a while it seemed as though the demon was going to take him over completely. Then he was exposed to the Power of Naruto, and because you can't exactly ignore Naruto, when trying to kill him fails you can either change your ways, or knock him out and almost kiss him under a waterfall. Gaara chose option one. He turned his life around and even achieved his and Naruto's shared dream - of becoming the leader of their respective villages - by the time he was 15. But he also beat him to having the demon ripped out of him and dying, because apparently his good fortune isn't allowed to last that long. However, he was brought back to life by the belated generosity of the old woman who stuck the demon in him in the first place. At least he can sleep now. Or so we hope. (Note: The link in the app is pretty not-worksafe!)
Sample Post:
“Dear deserving victim,
We have enclosed a poem that we hope will be enlightening, and will prepare you for the next stage in what you call a life.
One afternoon a boy had a daymare. It was not
a nightmare, for he never slept. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach of The Lake.
Across the water flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
prints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to
an unidentifiable pockmarked stalker.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there were only his set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
darkest and ugliest times in his life.
This weirded him out, and he
questioned out loud:
“...”
For you see, this boy was a ninja, and
not a particularly sociable one at that.
But what the ninja had noticed
was that during those turbulent times
in his life, there was only one set of footprints.
He didn't understand why when he would be
most easily caught, he had managed to escape.
The Loudspeaker (which was used to ninja-speak) replied:
“YOU IDIOT, YOU UNSUSPECTING FOOL,
DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.
DURING YOUR TIMES OF DEGENERATION AND FAILURE,
WHEN YOU SEE ONLY YOUR FOOTPRINTS,
IT WAS THEN THAT MARCY GOT YOU.”
You have been convicted of having various perversions, including the rare practice of sandrape, and we suspect also a bent towards personal enhancement. As a result, your presence is now required at a camp, where we expect you will be rightfully punished by being surrounded by those who have even stranger perversions than yours. So take some time to ponder this question: sand, or tentacles?
To get there, simply follow the prints in the sand.”
...
I don't care to deal with another organization right now, and I don't have time to indulge those with standing grudges, nor wonder what "MARCY" stands for. Especially if you are not even from Sand. If you were, you would have realized that you can't possibly instruct anyone to follow a trail that would be so quickly erased. I have to focus on my people, as they are the only ones in a position to make demands of me.
In the event that this is a joke, it is the least clever one I have ever seen played. I had the impression that jokes needed to be somewhat believable in order to be effective. If it is not one, and you want to pursue any accusations - nonsensical in nature as they might be - you will need to come to me and do so. It might help your case if you found photographs that actually had me in them. Violence was not even mentioned, and I would think that would be someone's main concern, even after three years.
...
...and those are not footprints.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hisui
Series: Tsukihime
Age: 18
Canon: Hisui is Kohaku's younger twin, and her opposite in a number of ways. While Kohaku is dead inside but pretends to have emotions, Hisui has emotions, but hides them. (More superficially, while Kohaku is bad at cleaning and good at cooking, Hisui is good at cleaning, but a terrible cook.) Though quite shy and reserved, Hisui is very loyal to those she cares for- particularly her master, Tohno Shiki, to whom she is extremely devoted.
Sample Post:
I must admit, this is not exactly what I expected to find when I came looking for Shiki-sama.
I did not, in my childhood, have the opportunity to attend a summer camp; however, on the occasions that the thought entered my mind, I did not envision anything like this. For example, I do not think it is common upon entering a summer camp to have a large tropical bird drop a package at one's feet. The package proved to contain a shotgun and a note reading "All campers are supposed to be issued a tracksuit too, but we thought that would be a waste of a perfectly good French maid's outfit, so you don't have to have one. You can show your gratitude by getting in the kitchen and making us some sandwiches, woman."
I thought that this request would be a bit beyond my ability to grant even if there had been a kitchen in the vicinity. I wanted to offer my apologies; however, I did not know to whom to address them, and thus could not. Instead I picked up the shotgun (as it is never a good idea to leave something so dangerous lying around) and continued walking in the direction I had been going until I reached this... encampment. Now, if no one minds, I must inquire: have any of you seen my master, Tohno Shiki-sama? He is slightly younger than myself, has brown hair, and wears glasses-
- and no, I do not believe he is a "maid otaku."
Poll Vote!
Character: Stacy Rowe
Series: Daria
Age: 16
Canon: Aggressive. Decisive. Quick-witted. All of these are words that absolutely can not be used to describe Stacy Rowe, the secretary of Lawndale High's Fashion Club, a quartet of shallow, superficial girls who are, as the club's name suggests, obsessed with fashion. No, Stacy is your standard-issue all-purpose doormat, completely focused on being accepted and liked by her peers, which comes at the cost of not developing any useful skills or signs of individuality whatsoever. Worse yet, when it comes to her own self-image Stacy is deeply insecure and blames herself for anything and everything that goes wrong.
Stacy tends to live vicariously through her friends, who are all far more self-confident than she is, and has a sycophantic tendency to agree with anything they say or do (unless two members are in an argument over something, in which case whoever comes off as being more imposing and more likely to be mad at her if she disagrees with them usually gets her support). As such, she's also incredibly non-confrontational and any time she perceives that she's done something, anything wrong she will apologize without a second thought. Her other bad habits include being prone to rambling incessantly and slipping into incredibly convoluted logic if nobody shuts her up, and an odd tendency to bring up things that the rest of the Fashion Club consider to be gross (vomit, blood, that sort of thing). Despite all her flaws, Stacy isn't really a bad person when it comes down to it. After all, she wouldn't really have the guts to be anyway.
Sample Post:
Am I lost? Oh no, I’m lost, aren’t I? This is really, really bad! I mean, as an assistant counselor at Camp Fashionable Youth Development I’m supposed to be setting a good example for all of the impressionable kids who’ve come a long way to learn about important stuff, like color coordination, proper hair care, and just how much of that glitter makeup stuff you can use before it just looks kind of tacky! But now here I am, lost in the grossest swamp ever, and I get the feeling I’m going to be really late. And while that would be okay if it were just fashionably late, I think it’s going to be late late, and I don’t think the counselors are going to be happy about that at all!
Oh god, what if they fire me? Like, I’ll find camp and they’ll take me to the head counselor’s office and she’ll say “Stacy, not only did you arrive to camp late and in a totally unfashionable manner, but you’ve also got swamp gunk all over your clothes and how are we supposed to educate these children when our own assistant counselor looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon? Would you want your kid getting fashion tips from Swamp Girl? I didn’t think so. But you can always go work at the unpopular fashion camp. You know, where the girls who like to burn things and are still into the grunge look go.” I’d just die if that happened! Oh, why can’t the earth just swallow me up right now?
Come on, Stacy, get a hold of yourself! Can’t freak out, freaking out is bad. Just take some nice, deep breaths and calm down. This is what all of those guidance counselor meetings were for, remember? Don’t think of it as a gross swamp that you’re lost in, think of it as... oh! As a nature hike! Remember how you used to love those when you were a kid? This is totally just another nature hike. With… oh, look at the cute squirrels over there! Perfectly cute squirrels having a perfectly cute lunch of… a wounded squirrel. And... and there's not-so-cute squirrel blood everywhere and... look away, Stacy, look away! Focus on something else, something nice and normal, like… like…
… like trees! Lots of trees. That’s right, Stacy, ignore the creepy squirrels and focus on the pretty trees. That… um, might be moving and… talking? Oh god, one of them’s looking at me, must not freak out, can’t freak out, just smile and be polite to the nice, pretty tree… Um, thanks for the compliment! It’s nice of you to say that I look “real purty!” I’ve… well, I’ve never been complimented by a tree before, so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say back, but… huh? Well, of course you’ve got wood, you’re a tree! Why wouldn’t you have - oh. Oh. Th-thanks for sharing? No, of course I'm flattered! Well, no, I don't know if we could go out sometime, I've got a camp to work at and you're a tree and I just don't know if we're compatible, so… um. Could you please maybe keep your branches to yourself? I'm really sorry and I'm not trying to be rude or a tease or anything, but I'm just not that kind of girl! So if you could just, you know, let go of me I would really appreciate it and... is that sap? Please tell me that's just sap.
... hey, earth? I've changed my mind on the, um, "swallow me up" thing. Feel free to do it any second now. Please?
Poll Vote!
Character: Anezaki Mamori
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 16
Applicant #1
Canon: Eyeshield 21 is a sports manga filled with loads of sweaty boys and their strange fixation on topping each other with pigskin-wrapped balls. Can we say male compensation? Yet among all the testosterone, there is the shining example of motherly compassion. ...no, not Sakuraba. Anezaki Mamori is the childhood friend and self-declared guardian of Kobayakawa Sena, the main character of Eyeshield 21. Since they were young, she has watched over Sena and stood up for him by fighting bullies and protecting him from Big Bad Things. This maternal streak caused her to join the Deimon Devilbats football team as manager so that she might shield Sena from the devilish team captain, Hiruma.
A natural mother hen, Mamori is without a doubt one of the sweetest girls you could meet. She is a brilliant student, talented in many areas like strategizing and cream puff eating, and excessively kind to others. Just make sure whatever you do, do not make her angry as she has a wicked backswing with a broom. Being an officer of the discipline committee at Deimon High School, Mamori constantly butts heads with Hiruma and his unorthadox ways of training. While she may pamper the players, she understands that they will do anything to win so she supports and encourages them to do their best.
Note: Mamori is being taken from just after volume 10.
Sample Post:
PUT DOWN THAT SHOTGUN DOWN RIGHT NOW BEFORE I--
-- you're not Hiruma-san. Sorry! I didn't know there were so many psychotic, gun-toting madmen around. At least I know I'm in America now. Please put that away, Sena can't deal with more than one person chasing him with bullets. Wait, you mean the shotgun is for me? No thank you, our team has access to enough arsenal for an entire army.
Speaking of our team, maybe you could help me another way. I'm trying to find the special training camp that the Deimon Devilbats were booked for. All I've found is the pamphlet that came in the mail. Have you heard of Camp Football Youth Delegation, "where playing with the Swamp Simians will improve your performance both in and out of the locker room"? I didn't realize performance in the locker rooms was that important; I'll arrange for the Devil Bats to get more practice in there. --you know where the camp is? Great!
Thank you very much for showing me around. No, I haven't met the Swamp Simians yet, but I believe I saw the team's mascot on the way here. I'd never seen a purple gorilla befo-- that was one of the players? I heard they were built like animals, but wow! He was wearing such an... er, interesting uniform. It was so furry and shaggy and it... wasn't a uniform. O-oh, I see. I hope I didn't offend Simian-san. I should bring him a cream puff later for the misunderstanding.
Uniforms aside, at least they were enthusiastic! I saw that they were singing their team song when the rest of them came out. The words were very curious, though. I didn't think that wearing tights made anyone Manly Men. The cancan they were doing must be some kind of muscle training. They were certainly... how did they put it, "butch" in their uniform. A-and I know it's an American tradition for football players to slap each other's... ahem, rears, but I'm pretty sure they were doing more than slapping. I'm really glad Sena's the team secretary and not a player, otherwise I'd have to tell everyone that Sena's rear is off limits.
Ah, it's almost time for the scheduled practice. If you could show me to the field, I'll watch for a few minutes before finding my team. It'd be an advantage to know what Deimon's up agains--
. . .
Please tell me that's a new type of tackling.
Applicant #2
Canon: Mamori is the Deimon Devil Bats' manager, originally tricked into the position by Hiruma. However, she quickly becomes proficient at the job and does her very best to support the team. She even goes with them on a trans-America training program.
Her main characteristic is her motherly persona - preparing food, providing first aid for the team, babying Sena, and supporting him to try his best. She is one of the few on the Devil Bat's team who does not recognize Sena's identity as Eyeshield 21. For other people, she doesn't like to show fear or sadness and is angered by bullying.
At the top of her class and with the ability to memorize a book in one night, Mamori is extremely intelligent. Her observation skills are also good, although sometimes her own emotions can cloud what should have been obvious to her
Sample Post:
I'm not scared. Not scared at all. Just because everyone on the bus disappeared and I'm now in the middle of a forest does not mean I'm in danger. I c-can't get out! This sticky white stuff is keeping everything closed. What is it? …Oh. I-I can't believe there could be something so disgusting! But now is not the time. I need to get out of the bus and find someone. That's the best thing to do.
Sena? Sena?! Is that you are you okay oh thank God I thought you were de-
Wait. You're not Sena. Y-your eyes are the wrong color and…you're moving very slowly. Y-you don't look very healthy. Oh my! You're looking a little green…Maybe you could use something to eat? It would probably help your health a lot. Oh! I think I have something here. It's okay, it's okay…I won't hurt you.
You just tried to bite off my hand. And now you have the gall to attack me after I offered you food. Get back! Don't make me hit you! Big branch, big branch. Take this you.you three-eyed monster! Keep your hand away from me! I'll hit you in the head, I will!
…
I-I…I'm covered in gore. I can't believe I did that. I killed something. But it exploded. Self-defense. Yes. There might be more of those…things. What if the others are in danger? There are so many things could kill them! They would never be able to fulfill their dreams…I have to stop pitying myself and help the others!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Christine Gargamel
Series: Hitherby Dragons: Unclean Legacy
Age: 17
Canon: Christine is one of the twin daughters of Montechristien Gargamel. Yes, that Gargamel, who tried to capture the Smurfs. Being a twin in the Unclean Legacy universe means that only one sibling has the soul, and in this case, it was Christine. This imparts with it a responsibility, as if she does not earn a place in Heaven, neither does her sister. Unfortunately for Christine, she is as flawed a person as any other and as such she deals with this by manifesting a Bad House (being Baba Yaga's house of scything, murdering fun) as an infant and by constantly attributing all of her taint to Sophie. She also believes that by killing Sophie, then Christine is saving Sophie from herself and both will go to Heaven. One can see the flaws with that argument.
Surprisingly, though, Christine is on good terms with most of her siblings. Also, like the rest of her siblings, Christine has some form of paranormal ability - in her case she is a very talented sorceress.
Sample Post:
This is not my father's realm, although it is certainly just as peculiar. In his lands, there is no place where my house cannot traverse and no-one would dare to gainsay me, and I am confident that had there been luridly-colored gorillas in the past, I would have remembered them. Especially luridly-colored, amorous gorillas, as it would be quite difficult to ignore those. It is clear that only one person could be responsible for this. This missive must be written, as much as it pains me to do so. Please transcribe, rotting creature of twisted sorcery, in order that I might have liberty to release you from your spell.
"Dear Ms Elizabeth,
I am afraid that there has been a terrible mistake and that you have abducted me under false pretenses; it was not I who murdered your fiance. My twin, Sophie ... she is a soulless girl and cares little for right or wrong. I wish I had stopped her before she had committed the act. As we are identical twins, I will forgive your mistake as to our identities along with the gorillas, zombies and other assorted misshapen creatures that you have sent to attack me, as I hope you will forgive me for ...their unfortunate end. I understand that you and I share a common goal: Sophie's redemption. Free me, and I shall execute her for her crimes against you.
In return, I ask you to release the other captives and return them to their respective homes, including my two siblings. Our father will be wondering where we have gone and I certainly would not want to anger him, powerful as he is. I imagine that you would not seek to do so, or to anger his equally potent progeny who are innocent of murder. Of course, we are both sensible people and can come to an agreement in regards to this misunderstanding without any unnecessary unpleasantness.
My profound sympathies for your loss,
Christine Gargamel."
Yes, now give it to the toucan - no, do not lick the toucan, you cannot "taste the rainbow" and leave us. Now fly my pretty, fly! Convey my message to your mistress. I will be able to free all those affected by my sister's influence once the Director has read my letter and acted upon it. I will be watching to ensure that you do deliver the message. I have just called a lurid, telepathic toucan "pretty". Her reply cannot come soon enough.
Poll Vote!
Character: Pratty
Series: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story
Age: Around 15
Canon: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story is a game following the child of a hero named Shintetsu, who died three years before the start of the game, as they try to follow in their father's footsteps. At the beginning of the game you can choose whether the child is a boy or a girl; Pratty is the girl.
The game starts with Pratty being allowed into a tournament to decide who will take her father's place as the Craftlord of Iron. Craftlords are basically blacksmiths who forge especially strong weapons with the help of guardian beasts (Pratty's beast's name is Sugar) summoned from the spirit world, and who rule the city of Wystern where Pratty lives. She fights as a representative of the Silver Guild, receiving techniques from the head of the guild throughout the game that she uses to make stronger and stronger weapons for her fights. Victory in the tournament remains Pratty's main focus for most of the game, along with learning more about her father and the events leading to his death.
Pratty is a normal, usually cheerful, girl, although she does have a shortish temper when it comes to people intruding on her without permission, acting like they think she's still a child, or insulting her work. She's a little on the dense side, for instance she didn't realize that one of her friends was a girl for most of the game in spite of people calling her one in front of Pratty several times, but is'nt totally stupid. She's almost always willing to see the good in people, even when they're her enemies, and if she thinks someone has a good side she'll defend them when others insult them no matter what they've done to her in the past.
Note: the only guns in the game are stray summons (its name for random encounter monsters).
Sample Post:
Hello everyone, is this Camp? It is, isn't it? Wow, I didn't really expect to find this place! I had to follow such weird directions to get here, like the last part was 'follow the shore of the glowing lake until you can see buildings', that I thought I was being sent on a wild goose chase. Some of the people I work with back home like doing that to me; they think it builds character or something.
Wow, I can really see why that director woman wrote to ask for a Craftlord to come in here. It's awfully brave of so many of you to use stray summons for weapons and all, but aren't you afraid they'll turn around and attack you some day? I guarantee you'll all be so impressed with my work that you'll never need to touch them again! I can make you a sword so light that there's no chance the weight of it will make your arm fall off, which, um, kind've looks like the sort've thing some of you might need to worry about, if you don't mind me saying so. Don't worry! The Craftlords of Wystern understand that people with leprosy need to defend themselves too, and we will not discriminate against you! Ha! And some of the people in town thought I was too young to be diplomatic.
I don't actually have any swords for you to look at right now, though. In the woods just before I got to camp I heard someone say "We's been lookin' for new weapons for The Family. Show us what you got, Girly." I thought whoever it was was going to be my first customer, and I was so excited that I started laying out the samples I brought without even wondering why he didn't come out where I could see him. But then, as soon as I had the swords out, these toucans flew down and stole them! What sort've jerk trains birds to steal for him? If his family needed weapons that much, we could've worked something out!
But it's still okay! I've got lots of other types of weapons to show everyone. So just look them over, and tell me what you want, then I'll head back to Wystern so I can get to work on your orders with my Guardian Beast! Don't worry, you don't need to pay until you have your weapon in hand.
...What do you mean I can't leave? That's a joke, right? Not a very funny one, but...
But, I can't make weapons good enough to sell without Sugar helping me. Wait! Not that kind of sugar! Ew EW EW, leper kisses! Don't touch me!
Oh, heck. Punching that guy's nose off messes up the whole diplomacy thing, doesn't it?
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Shuichi
Series: Gravitation (manga version)
Age: 19
Canon: Shindou Shuichi did not have to be on reality TV to become a music star. However, his path to fame still couldn’t be any more unorthodox. Between trigger happy American managers, TV appearances that have nothing to do with music and a trip to New York via kidnapping, it’s clear he’s not always in a sane environment. Oh well. The pink haired idol was never the perfect model for sanity anyway.
To say that he's optimistic, energetic and an occasional spaz is like saying the Grand Canyon is just a hole in the ground. With a habit of speaking without thinking and randomly dressing up in bizarre costumes such as a suitcase, a battery, and a banana suit, he’s also ruined plenty of serious scenes. However, part of his personality has paid off when it comes to being in the music industry. He’s known to be stubborn about whatever or whoever he feels passionate about. He can also be very affectionate and loyal to his loved ones. There are only three issues that push his emo buttons; his tortured writer boyfriend, Yuki, losing his friends and his confidence as a performer.
Sample Post:
What do you mean 'not big enough', 'could be better', and 'doesn’t bring all the boys to the yard'? My brains aren't good enough for you? FINE! I see how it is! And I looked up 'garish'! There's nothing wrong with having pink hair you know!
...Ahem. Attention to the non-hungry masses! I have a public service announcement!
There was a mix up! I wasn't supposed to sing at the 'Concert For Undead Duckies'. I was told to sing at the 'Magnificent Wedding of Mr. Psycho Toucan and Miss Fanged Squirrel'. Was there a typo in the invitation? There were red stains on it too. The couple really wanted me to come; they even hired a guy to get me! If he wasn't five hundred pounds and in a fur suit, I would’ve thought my manager was giving another mandatory gig. I think gorilla man's rifle was the same type he uses too...
But it was fun singing at the concert! I appreciated the red carpet welcome too! At least, I think that's what it was. I thought carpets were supposed to have tassels, not talons...? Were they supposed to be twitching too? And speaking of awfully different, you wouldn't believe what kind of crowd greeted me. They bought tickets by giving away their arms and legs! That should never happen! Especially when the seller is a parrot with an eye patch and a peg leg!
Other than being unarmed, they were just like any other audience in a way. I liked the other stuff they were willing to throw! The flowers I got are in colors I’ve never even seen before! It's interesting what performers would get from their fans! Phone numbers, sometimes rotten vegetables if it's a bad act, and --just like what that tree's doing-- the crazier ones toss underwear!
...GAH! My story isn't encouragement! Keep YOUR bra on, sir!
Poll Vote!
Character: Gaara
Series: Naruto
Age: 15
Canon: Out of all the twisted childhoods of the characters in Naruto, Gaara's is perhaps the worst. Following the series' trend that all of the adults must be fundamentally less intelligent than the children, Gaara's father sacrificed his wife in order to stick a giant demon badger in his son to create a weapon for his village. This little boy grew a bit, and his father went “hoshit, can't control his power” and promptly began ordering assassination attempts. However, because of the fact that the demon in Gaara caused sand to automatically protect him, he never died. He also never slept. Ever. Which unfortunately left him awake to witness the assassination attempts, which are often made in the middle of the night and usually spare their victims the repetitive mental trauma. Such as discovering that the assassin in question was the one person you thought loved you. That sort of thing. So the trauma took its toll, and Gaara grew into a quite disturbed boy who existed only to terrify or kill everybody else, addressed the demon as “mother”, and was sent on a mission with his siblings to help invade Konoha. Because it's always smart to expect the people you mistreat to be completely obedient to you.
While in Konoha, Gaara's mental state deteriorated rapidly, and for a while it seemed as though the demon was going to take him over completely. Then he was exposed to the Power of Naruto, and because you can't exactly ignore Naruto, when trying to kill him fails you can either change your ways, or knock him out and almost kiss him under a waterfall. Gaara chose option one. He turned his life around and even achieved his and Naruto's shared dream - of becoming the leader of their respective villages - by the time he was 15. But he also beat him to having the demon ripped out of him and dying, because apparently his good fortune isn't allowed to last that long. However, he was brought back to life by the belated generosity of the old woman who stuck the demon in him in the first place. At least he can sleep now. Or so we hope. (Note: The link in the app is pretty not-worksafe!)
Sample Post:
“Dear deserving victim,
We have enclosed a poem that we hope will be enlightening, and will prepare you for the next stage in what you call a life.
One afternoon a boy had a daymare. It was not
a nightmare, for he never slept. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach of The Lake.
Across the water flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
prints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to
an unidentifiable pockmarked stalker.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there were only his set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
darkest and ugliest times in his life.
This weirded him out, and he
questioned out loud:
“...”
For you see, this boy was a ninja, and
not a particularly sociable one at that.
But what the ninja had noticed
was that during those turbulent times
in his life, there was only one set of footprints.
He didn't understand why when he would be
most easily caught, he had managed to escape.
The Loudspeaker (which was used to ninja-speak) replied:
“YOU IDIOT, YOU UNSUSPECTING FOOL,
DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.
DURING YOUR TIMES OF DEGENERATION AND FAILURE,
WHEN YOU SEE ONLY YOUR FOOTPRINTS,
IT WAS THEN THAT MARCY GOT YOU.”
You have been convicted of having various perversions, including the rare practice of sandrape, and we suspect also a bent towards personal enhancement. As a result, your presence is now required at a camp, where we expect you will be rightfully punished by being surrounded by those who have even stranger perversions than yours. So take some time to ponder this question: sand, or tentacles?
To get there, simply follow the prints in the sand.”
...
I don't care to deal with another organization right now, and I don't have time to indulge those with standing grudges, nor wonder what "MARCY" stands for. Especially if you are not even from Sand. If you were, you would have realized that you can't possibly instruct anyone to follow a trail that would be so quickly erased. I have to focus on my people, as they are the only ones in a position to make demands of me.
In the event that this is a joke, it is the least clever one I have ever seen played. I had the impression that jokes needed to be somewhat believable in order to be effective. If it is not one, and you want to pursue any accusations - nonsensical in nature as they might be - you will need to come to me and do so. It might help your case if you found photographs that actually had me in them. Violence was not even mentioned, and I would think that would be someone's main concern, even after three years.
...
...and those are not footprints.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hisui
Series: Tsukihime
Age: 18
Canon: Hisui is Kohaku's younger twin, and her opposite in a number of ways. While Kohaku is dead inside but pretends to have emotions, Hisui has emotions, but hides them. (More superficially, while Kohaku is bad at cleaning and good at cooking, Hisui is good at cleaning, but a terrible cook.) Though quite shy and reserved, Hisui is very loyal to those she cares for- particularly her master, Tohno Shiki, to whom she is extremely devoted.
Sample Post:
I must admit, this is not exactly what I expected to find when I came looking for Shiki-sama.
I did not, in my childhood, have the opportunity to attend a summer camp; however, on the occasions that the thought entered my mind, I did not envision anything like this. For example, I do not think it is common upon entering a summer camp to have a large tropical bird drop a package at one's feet. The package proved to contain a shotgun and a note reading "All campers are supposed to be issued a tracksuit too, but we thought that would be a waste of a perfectly good French maid's outfit, so you don't have to have one. You can show your gratitude by getting in the kitchen and making us some sandwiches, woman."
I thought that this request would be a bit beyond my ability to grant even if there had been a kitchen in the vicinity. I wanted to offer my apologies; however, I did not know to whom to address them, and thus could not. Instead I picked up the shotgun (as it is never a good idea to leave something so dangerous lying around) and continued walking in the direction I had been going until I reached this... encampment. Now, if no one minds, I must inquire: have any of you seen my master, Tohno Shiki-sama? He is slightly younger than myself, has brown hair, and wears glasses-
- and no, I do not believe he is a "maid otaku."
Poll Vote!
Character: Stacy Rowe
Series: Daria
Age: 16
Canon: Aggressive. Decisive. Quick-witted. All of these are words that absolutely can not be used to describe Stacy Rowe, the secretary of Lawndale High's Fashion Club, a quartet of shallow, superficial girls who are, as the club's name suggests, obsessed with fashion. No, Stacy is your standard-issue all-purpose doormat, completely focused on being accepted and liked by her peers, which comes at the cost of not developing any useful skills or signs of individuality whatsoever. Worse yet, when it comes to her own self-image Stacy is deeply insecure and blames herself for anything and everything that goes wrong.
Stacy tends to live vicariously through her friends, who are all far more self-confident than she is, and has a sycophantic tendency to agree with anything they say or do (unless two members are in an argument over something, in which case whoever comes off as being more imposing and more likely to be mad at her if she disagrees with them usually gets her support). As such, she's also incredibly non-confrontational and any time she perceives that she's done something, anything wrong she will apologize without a second thought. Her other bad habits include being prone to rambling incessantly and slipping into incredibly convoluted logic if nobody shuts her up, and an odd tendency to bring up things that the rest of the Fashion Club consider to be gross (vomit, blood, that sort of thing). Despite all her flaws, Stacy isn't really a bad person when it comes down to it. After all, she wouldn't really have the guts to be anyway.
Sample Post:
Am I lost? Oh no, I’m lost, aren’t I? This is really, really bad! I mean, as an assistant counselor at Camp Fashionable Youth Development I’m supposed to be setting a good example for all of the impressionable kids who’ve come a long way to learn about important stuff, like color coordination, proper hair care, and just how much of that glitter makeup stuff you can use before it just looks kind of tacky! But now here I am, lost in the grossest swamp ever, and I get the feeling I’m going to be really late. And while that would be okay if it were just fashionably late, I think it’s going to be late late, and I don’t think the counselors are going to be happy about that at all!
Oh god, what if they fire me? Like, I’ll find camp and they’ll take me to the head counselor’s office and she’ll say “Stacy, not only did you arrive to camp late and in a totally unfashionable manner, but you’ve also got swamp gunk all over your clothes and how are we supposed to educate these children when our own assistant counselor looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon? Would you want your kid getting fashion tips from Swamp Girl? I didn’t think so. But you can always go work at the unpopular fashion camp. You know, where the girls who like to burn things and are still into the grunge look go.” I’d just die if that happened! Oh, why can’t the earth just swallow me up right now?
Come on, Stacy, get a hold of yourself! Can’t freak out, freaking out is bad. Just take some nice, deep breaths and calm down. This is what all of those guidance counselor meetings were for, remember? Don’t think of it as a gross swamp that you’re lost in, think of it as... oh! As a nature hike! Remember how you used to love those when you were a kid? This is totally just another nature hike. With… oh, look at the cute squirrels over there! Perfectly cute squirrels having a perfectly cute lunch of… a wounded squirrel. And... and there's not-so-cute squirrel blood everywhere and... look away, Stacy, look away! Focus on something else, something nice and normal, like… like…
… like trees! Lots of trees. That’s right, Stacy, ignore the creepy squirrels and focus on the pretty trees. That… um, might be moving and… talking? Oh god, one of them’s looking at me, must not freak out, can’t freak out, just smile and be polite to the nice, pretty tree… Um, thanks for the compliment! It’s nice of you to say that I look “real purty!” I’ve… well, I’ve never been complimented by a tree before, so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say back, but… huh? Well, of course you’ve got wood, you’re a tree! Why wouldn’t you have - oh. Oh. Th-thanks for sharing? No, of course I'm flattered! Well, no, I don't know if we could go out sometime, I've got a camp to work at and you're a tree and I just don't know if we're compatible, so… um. Could you please maybe keep your branches to yourself? I'm really sorry and I'm not trying to be rude or a tease or anything, but I'm just not that kind of girl! So if you could just, you know, let go of me I would really appreciate it and... is that sap? Please tell me that's just sap.
... hey, earth? I've changed my mind on the, um, "swallow me up" thing. Feel free to do it any second now. Please?
Poll Vote!
Character: Anezaki Mamori
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 16
Applicant #1
Canon: Eyeshield 21 is a sports manga filled with loads of sweaty boys and their strange fixation on topping each other with pigskin-wrapped balls. Can we say male compensation? Yet among all the testosterone, there is the shining example of motherly compassion. ...no, not Sakuraba. Anezaki Mamori is the childhood friend and self-declared guardian of Kobayakawa Sena, the main character of Eyeshield 21. Since they were young, she has watched over Sena and stood up for him by fighting bullies and protecting him from Big Bad Things. This maternal streak caused her to join the Deimon Devilbats football team as manager so that she might shield Sena from the devilish team captain, Hiruma.
A natural mother hen, Mamori is without a doubt one of the sweetest girls you could meet. She is a brilliant student, talented in many areas like strategizing and cream puff eating, and excessively kind to others. Just make sure whatever you do, do not make her angry as she has a wicked backswing with a broom. Being an officer of the discipline committee at Deimon High School, Mamori constantly butts heads with Hiruma and his unorthadox ways of training. While she may pamper the players, she understands that they will do anything to win so she supports and encourages them to do their best.
Note: Mamori is being taken from just after volume 10.
Sample Post:
PUT DOWN THAT SHOTGUN DOWN RIGHT NOW BEFORE I--
-- you're not Hiruma-san. Sorry! I didn't know there were so many psychotic, gun-toting madmen around. At least I know I'm in America now. Please put that away, Sena can't deal with more than one person chasing him with bullets. Wait, you mean the shotgun is for me? No thank you, our team has access to enough arsenal for an entire army.
Speaking of our team, maybe you could help me another way. I'm trying to find the special training camp that the Deimon Devilbats were booked for. All I've found is the pamphlet that came in the mail. Have you heard of Camp Football Youth Delegation, "where playing with the Swamp Simians will improve your performance both in and out of the locker room"? I didn't realize performance in the locker rooms was that important; I'll arrange for the Devil Bats to get more practice in there. --you know where the camp is? Great!
Thank you very much for showing me around. No, I haven't met the Swamp Simians yet, but I believe I saw the team's mascot on the way here. I'd never seen a purple gorilla befo-- that was one of the players? I heard they were built like animals, but wow! He was wearing such an... er, interesting uniform. It was so furry and shaggy and it... wasn't a uniform. O-oh, I see. I hope I didn't offend Simian-san. I should bring him a cream puff later for the misunderstanding.
Uniforms aside, at least they were enthusiastic! I saw that they were singing their team song when the rest of them came out. The words were very curious, though. I didn't think that wearing tights made anyone Manly Men. The cancan they were doing must be some kind of muscle training. They were certainly... how did they put it, "butch" in their uniform. A-and I know it's an American tradition for football players to slap each other's... ahem, rears, but I'm pretty sure they were doing more than slapping. I'm really glad Sena's the team secretary and not a player, otherwise I'd have to tell everyone that Sena's rear is off limits.
Ah, it's almost time for the scheduled practice. If you could show me to the field, I'll watch for a few minutes before finding my team. It'd be an advantage to know what Deimon's up agains--
. . .
Please tell me that's a new type of tackling.
Applicant #2
Canon: Mamori is the Deimon Devil Bats' manager, originally tricked into the position by Hiruma. However, she quickly becomes proficient at the job and does her very best to support the team. She even goes with them on a trans-America training program.
Her main characteristic is her motherly persona - preparing food, providing first aid for the team, babying Sena, and supporting him to try his best. She is one of the few on the Devil Bat's team who does not recognize Sena's identity as Eyeshield 21. For other people, she doesn't like to show fear or sadness and is angered by bullying.
At the top of her class and with the ability to memorize a book in one night, Mamori is extremely intelligent. Her observation skills are also good, although sometimes her own emotions can cloud what should have been obvious to her
Sample Post:
I'm not scared. Not scared at all. Just because everyone on the bus disappeared and I'm now in the middle of a forest does not mean I'm in danger. I c-can't get out! This sticky white stuff is keeping everything closed. What is it? …Oh. I-I can't believe there could be something so disgusting! But now is not the time. I need to get out of the bus and find someone. That's the best thing to do.
Sena? Sena?! Is that you are you okay oh thank God I thought you were de-
Wait. You're not Sena. Y-your eyes are the wrong color and…you're moving very slowly. Y-you don't look very healthy. Oh my! You're looking a little green…Maybe you could use something to eat? It would probably help your health a lot. Oh! I think I have something here. It's okay, it's okay…I won't hurt you.
You just tried to bite off my hand. And now you have the gall to attack me after I offered you food. Get back! Don't make me hit you! Big branch, big branch. Take this you.you three-eyed monster! Keep your hand away from me! I'll hit you in the head, I will!
…
I-I…I'm covered in gore. I can't believe I did that. I killed something. But it exploded. Self-defense. Yes. There might be more of those…things. What if the others are in danger? There are so many things could kill them! They would never be able to fulfill their dreams…I have to stop pitying myself and help the others!
Poll Vote!