(no subject)
The last dup is in this batch, at the end. One more batch left after this!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Jiroubou
Series: Naruto
Age: 14. REALLY.
Canon: The first thing people notice about Jiroubou
is his size. Then the hair. It's fairly hard not to notice a bright
red tri-hawk. After that you wonder about the outfit he's chosen to
wear. Purple bows are so last season. Well, despite his poor fashion
taste, Jiroubou is not one to be underestimated. A member of the
infamous Sound Four, he is known for his incredible physical strength
and his ability to ingest other ninjas' chakra. He is often
the one who keeps his team members' attitudes in check, specifically
Tayuya's, berating her for her potty mouth. Okay, so he has his
issues as well. But what servant of evil overlord ninjas doesn't
these days?
Sample Post:
Typical. That fatass chump of a kid chews his freak pills and lives,
while I somehow end up here. I never pictured the afterlife being
so…humid. And the dive-bombing toucans are a surprise. Stop it you
little…don't make me do anything drastic. I'm not here to fight.
Che, annoying birds. Don't say I didn't warn you.
You, yes, you! The large purple one in the straw hat. Yeah, you
heard me. Are you the leader of this village? Why are you running
away? What sort of leader leaves his comrades to save his own skin?
Foolish.
Looks like I'll have to deal with you useless weaklings instead. You
over there, tell me what the hell is going on…no, I don't know
anything about your brains. Perhaps you left them back with your arm.
And half of your skin. You should really cover yourself up a bit
more, you are exposing quite a bit of yourself to…what is that smell?
It seems like it's coming from that hut over there.
Stop following me,..you trying to pick a fight? That's not a
very ladylike thing to do, you know. Listen, I told you already, I
don't know anything about your stupid brains. Now, leave me alone so
that I can see what is going on in…
. . .
Ninjas…baking? This must be the hell dimension of the
afterlife that I heard about. How could you allow yourselves to fall
to stoop to such a mundane level? Don't look at me like that.
No, I will not taste your pecan roll! I would not disgrace
myself by agreeing to try the cooking of my enemies…
…maybe just a bite?
Poll Vote!
Character: Sumeragi Subaru
Series: Tokyo Babylon (Not X) Fansite Wiki Official Tokyopop TB page
Age: 16 (I'm stealing him from midway through TB)
Canon: Well…Subaru is a CLAMP boy. ‘Nuff said, really. He’s angstastic. (Though he won’t be so bad here, as he hasn’t seen the end of TB yet.)
Basically, Subaru is a Ghostbuster. Except that they like to call them onmyouji. His grandmother faxes him his jobs, and off he goes to fight crime and the forces of evil! Of course…Subaru doesn’t want to be a Ghostbuster. He wants to be a lumberjack zookeeper. This causes him a small amount of angst. (But what else is new?) Subaru is self-sacrificing to the point of stupidity, however, so he takes this without complaint. This glut of kindness and lack of self-esteem gets him in nasty situations quite often. Like insane mothers trying to gouge out his kidneys.
Fortunately for Subaru, he has a small triumvirate of protectors! These would include his grandmother (who supplies him with gloves for reasons she won’t elaborate on), his twin sister, Hokuto (who has only a little spiritual power, but mad fashion sense and ADD), and a nice, kind, considerate vet named Sakurazuka Seishirou that likes to make evil poses in the mirror grope Subaru on a regular basis. (Can we say ‘statutory rape’?) Unfortunately for Subaru, those protectors don’t work out so well. After all, this is CLAMP.
Sample Post:
Haa haa... No wonder obaa-sama worried about sending me here...
None of this makes any sense… Obaa-sama told me that a summer camp in America was having supernatural problems, and that they’d hired me to help…but she didn’t say anything about this. This isn’t like any camp I’ve ever heard of...and the infestation is much worse than I expected. I’ve used up all of my ofuda on the zombies, but it only seemed to make them angry…and I don’t even know what the rest of these things are… Besides that, it looks like there’s a barrier around this place that I can’t even touch. If I hadn’t found this tree, who knows what would have happened…
More importantly, this is a summer camp…or so I’ve been told… isn’t it? That means that there must be campers in these woods somewhere! and even if this isn’t a summer camp, someone had to have hired me… If that's the case, then others are in danger and it’s my responsibility to help them. Even if... Well. I need to find a way to--hmm? [gulp] to...exorcise these... oh no
SNAP! thud
Aaah! Why did they summon me here if I can't do anything to help?!
SEISHIROU-SAAAAAN! HOKUTO-CHAAAAN!
maybe I should have accepted that shotgun...
Poll Vote!
Character: Nanba Minami
Series: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (best known as Hanakimi)
Age: 18
Canon: Friendly and laid-back, Nanba Minami is the head of dorm two at the Osaka Academy and nephew of the school doctor Umeda Hokuto. Nanba is a secondary character in a shoujo manga, and even considering the pretty boys swarming everywhere, he is still one of the most handsome members of the cast. This matches perfectly his flirtatious nature, making him a notorious playboy. Despite enjoying teasing boys, Nanba considers himself a ladies man and will pursue a romantic interest despite violent rejection.
He has serious moments, though. These are mostly related to his underclassmen, whom he feels responsible for. Nanba will stand up to authority to protect students and generally act as a role model for them. Not a perfect role model ( since he drinks, loves to crash parties, stays out late and hands out condoms to students), but a role model indeed.
Sample Post:
Funny, I’m usually the one who does introductory tours around school, but I think I really need a guide. No need to comment on the flora and fauna, thank you. I have seen enough of it myself: to your left there’s decaying humanoids, mean looking plants and scary animals, to your right you can see part of an aquatic monster that might have eaten the rest of my class. I really hope not. Because I’m dorm head and I’m sure the teachers will blame it on me.
My name is Nanba Minami, please call me Nanba. Unless you are cute, then you can call me Minami and we can get to know each other better over dinner&hearts This place is not that bad... being sent to a desert island was the worst school trip ever, and even if the B horror movie setting of this place is hardly a spa, it could be worse. Last trip we didn’t have anything even resembling a girl except for Himejima, and the pompous prince doesn’t count.
Men of Camp Fuck You Die! You have no idea how lucky you are for being able to share your stay with such lovely ladies. This is the time to be bold, to be brave, the time for MANLY ROMANCE! You don’t want to go back home without experiencing the joy of summer camp love, do you? Mystery! Girls in bikinis! Bug bites and all other kinds of exotic dangers!
Do your best! As long as it's ethical and you follow the horrible camp rules it's okay. Or else I’ll just pretend we never had this conversation... Of course, I’ll be working hard too. Can't leave you do all the hard work, right?
Hello beautiful ladies! I don't mind at all if you have a boyfriend already, I'm going to be a good guest and not let that stand between us.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Shuichi
Series: Gravitation
Age: 19
Canon: Gravitation chronicles a young man's road to musical stardom with his band, Bad Luck. On the way, said road seems to be chock-full of hyperness, pink plush bunnies and gay relationship issues.
Shuichi is the young man in question and he's the vocalist and songwriter for Bad Luck. Optimistic and energetic don't even begin to describe him. He's more like a human created purely of sugar and Prozac. To add to the insanity, he is constantly ruining serious scenes by speaking without thinking first, and he randomly dresses up in bizarre costumes, including a suitcase, a battery, and a banana suit. He is also stubborn regarding anything or anyone he feels passionate about. While he's not the brightest (or most mature) light bulb in the band, he's highly affectionate and loyal. There are only three issues that push his emo buttons; his tortured writer boyfriend, Yuki, losing his friends and his confidence as a performer. Other than that...yeah. He's sugar and Prozac with pink hair.
App note: This Shuichi is based on the manga.
Sample Post:
Sorry for interrupting the 'Summer Camp Supercalifragy'-Uh...wait, no. Lemme try again! 'Summer Camp Supercalifrager'-Oh forget it! Sorry for interrupting the 'Summer Camp Super-Something Concert' but could anybody show me a phone I could use?
The yellow ones over there only play this tune about 'bananaphones' over and over again. It's really important that I call for help soon! A dead bus engine cannot and will not stop this band's nationwide tour!!! Rain or shine, Bad Luck's fans will be entertained -- on time!
I gotta say, though, this place isn’t as bad as it looks! It's like that saying, 'to never judge a book by its cover'. Only this time, it's never judge a camp by its smell! I was listening to the concert and as a professional, I can safely say that there's some great talent here! Not every gorilla can work that sort of magic with a keyboard! And the squid deserves appreciation for using all of its tentacles to play drums! Oh and it's amazing that Zombie-san could play guitar without his head! He didn’t have to be a literal headbanger though. The way it fell off was creepy.
But even if they play well, their singing could use work. Lots of work. They shouldn't sing hits like 'Larger than Life' or 'Dirty Little Secret' if keep they changing the words! Especially if the words are just going to be scary, they’ll never make the pop charts with-
...Eh, Zombie-san? You wrote an original song? Okay. I’ll take a look!
Blood cells are red
Veins are blue
I'll love you, too...when I eat your brains and skin.
...Errr...Stick with playing music. You’re great at that! I would give lessons for the singing and writing but as I’ve already said, I’m on a mission! I know there must be a working phone somewhere around. I don't care if even gravity is working against me, Bad Luck's tour will contin-
AHHH! OOF! Owww...whose idea was it to have a pit under a cracked sidewalk?
Poll Vote!
Character: Kuchiki Rukia
Series: Bleach
Age: At least a century and a half or so, but tiny enough to pass for a high schooler.
Applicant #1
Canon: Rukia is the first Shinigami (soul reaper, in Viz translation) shown in the
Bleach manga. When a mission to dispose of a Hollow (bad guy) goes awry, she
lends her powers to Ichigo to help him save his family. From then on she
becomes partners with him until she gets her powers back.
Rukia is rather naïve about many things in modern society (ie juice boxes).
She learns current lingual trends from reliable sources such as horror
manga. Rukia resided in Ichigo's closet while in the living world. She
presents a very convincing (to some) facade to her classmates of a demure,
proper girl when in fact she can be quite devious and well. Violent.
Sample Post:
This is puzzling.
I had hoped to reach Urahara's store by now. My soul candy dispenser has
broken and I must replace it with the Chappy© version. I will be greatly
disappointed if it is out of stock once again.
I want. The damn. Bunny.
I digress; that is beside the point. The point is I am in the middle of
nowhere, no store in sight, no Chappy© in hand. The point is Urahara
decided to move his store without bothering to tell his most loyal
customers. The point is there is a decomposing figure chewing on my
foot. The point is WHY ARE THERE DECOMPOSING THINGS CHEWING ON DECENT
WOMEN'S FEET.
Unless this is exactly the situation I've researched about. In the picture
book I procured from Ichigo's sister. There were groaning undead in that
story as well! I suspect there shall now be a scantily-clad female escaping
the diabolical plans of a mad scientist! Most excellent. That story was one
of my favorites. It was full of camp.
...Which would be where I am now, apparently. "Camp Fuck You Die." Today's
slang is so peculiar. Vulgar, yes, but nonsensical.
There appears to be a collection of cabins here, persons mingling with the
undead as though it were a normal situation. And unusual wildlife! I think
I may have to keep one of these white bears. As a souvenier, yes. No
problem with that, not at all. They seem to communicate with various
sounds of "kupo," and offer the options to "save" or "restart my game." I
don't know about that, but I think I'll call this one Darlene. His fur is
very soft to the touch. I'm fairly sure the bear is male; the voice is much
deeper than the others. Somewhat akin to ahh... what was that singer Mr.
Kurosaki liked? Barry White? Yes. A small bear version of Mr. White.
With just the right amount of ire.
Excellent. I will get my Chappy© and Darlene, and I will return home and
sketch a little white bear design for a Soul Candy dispenser. I'm sure the
manufacturers are willing to consider suggestions. Darlene would make a
wonderful mascot.
Applicant #2
Canon: Kuchiki Rukia was your average, everyday death god with a superiority complex up to here and a penchant for bad art and the dramatic. Her job entails beating down Hollows, ghosts that have lost their hearts and turned into monsters, and this line of work took her to the peaceful town of Karakura. One fateful evening, she met a jackass named Kurosaki Ichigo who possessed extraordinary spiritual power -- enough to cloud her senses from the Hollow nearby. Her ass got beaten, and in a last-ditch effort to save not only her own life but that of Ichigo and his entire family, she granted him access to some of her shinigami powers. . .except he took 'em all, leaving her to operate a fake body until her powers return.
A lot happens before her power actually ever returns: just about one hundred and ninety chapters later, after it's revealed that her lingering powerlessness and the fact that she got put on death row for it was part of an elaborate conspiracy. But, two hundred and some chapters later, it's kind of okay now!
Owing to her status as a noble of Soul Society, Rukia is a well-educated, eloquent girl who takes her job very seriously. Mostly. She does put forward a special sort of effort to conceal her identity as a death god, though she knows nothing of the modern world -- she's got difficulty poking holes in juice boxes and she curtsies and sparkles and generally fails at modern Japanese. She's a great actress and a great liar. And she's also got a myriad of issues in accordance with an angst-filled past, but nobody really needs to know that.
Sample Post:
Captain Ukitake if you receive this transmission I would like to let it be known that I am, in fact, speaking off of the record; there appears to be a number of humans inhabiting the area and caution is of utmost importance --
And would that you hear anything particularly unusual over the course of this transmission you must attribute it to my determination to complete my objective: locate our missing comrades: one (1) orange-haired fool; one (1) rooster; one (1) cue ball; one (1) honorable vice captain; the esteemed president of the Women's Association and vice captain of the esteemed Eleventh Division; Yamada Hanatarou; and the esteemed captain of the Second Division.
As you can see by how I referred to our missing comrades, I am already beginning to develop an identity that ordinary humans will find both charming and believable.
Citizens of Camp Fuck You Die, a terrible crisis has befallen all of you!
A beautiful, demure young woman has found herself stranded on the outskirts of your dominion. Her clothes are worn ragged from her journey; though her body is lithe as is befitting of a lady of her poise and grace, there is, in fact, such a thing as too lithe: she has not had a substantial meal in -- in twice, nay, thrice as long as humans were ever intended to go without! That is approximately three or four hours, correct? And, please, I beg of you, speak not of the trail of dismantled corpses that seems to have followed her here: it was by some stroke of misfortune that she happened upon these pitiable, foul-smelling beasts in their pitiable, mutilated state. She is frail, and incapable of harming a fly with such malicious intent --
I ask you, after all of you have played audience to such a grievous tale: will somebody not come and rescue her from her tragic fate?
. . .No?
You do realize about whom I am speaking -- ?
. . .well! Perhaps, then, it is not she that needs rescue, but you! Yes, you, for surely if you are unwilling to lift even a finger to assist a damsel in distress your troubles must far outnumber mine!
Very well, then! Would that any amongst you admirably tenacious inhabitants of this area find yourselves in need of a rescuer, then seek no further, fear no longer! I ask that you not follow the example set by your fur-lined and/or rotting brethren and please be gentle, for salvation has arrived, and I, Kuchiki Rukia, am but its humble overseer!
Where the hell is Ichigo, anyway?
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Jiroubou
Series: Naruto
Age: 14. REALLY.
Canon: The first thing people notice about Jiroubou
is his size. Then the hair. It's fairly hard not to notice a bright
red tri-hawk. After that you wonder about the outfit he's chosen to
wear. Purple bows are so last season. Well, despite his poor fashion
taste, Jiroubou is not one to be underestimated. A member of the
infamous Sound Four, he is known for his incredible physical strength
and his ability to ingest other ninjas' chakra. He is often
the one who keeps his team members' attitudes in check, specifically
Tayuya's, berating her for her potty mouth. Okay, so he has his
issues as well. But what servant of evil overlord ninjas doesn't
these days?
Sample Post:
Typical. That fatass chump of a kid chews his freak pills and lives,
while I somehow end up here. I never pictured the afterlife being
so…humid. And the dive-bombing toucans are a surprise. Stop it you
little…don't make me do anything drastic. I'm not here to fight.
Che, annoying birds. Don't say I didn't warn you.
You, yes, you! The large purple one in the straw hat. Yeah, you
heard me. Are you the leader of this village? Why are you running
away? What sort of leader leaves his comrades to save his own skin?
Foolish.
Looks like I'll have to deal with you useless weaklings instead. You
over there, tell me what the hell is going on…no, I don't know
anything about your brains. Perhaps you left them back with your arm.
And half of your skin. You should really cover yourself up a bit
more, you are exposing quite a bit of yourself to…what is that smell?
It seems like it's coming from that hut over there.
Stop following me,..you trying to pick a fight? That's not a
very ladylike thing to do, you know. Listen, I told you already, I
don't know anything about your stupid brains. Now, leave me alone so
that I can see what is going on in…
. . .
Ninjas…baking? This must be the hell dimension of the
afterlife that I heard about. How could you allow yourselves to fall
to stoop to such a mundane level? Don't look at me like that.
No, I will not taste your pecan roll! I would not disgrace
myself by agreeing to try the cooking of my enemies…
…maybe just a bite?
Poll Vote!
Character: Sumeragi Subaru
Series: Tokyo Babylon (Not X) Fansite Wiki Official Tokyopop TB page
Age: 16 (I'm stealing him from midway through TB)
Canon: Well…Subaru is a CLAMP boy. ‘Nuff said, really. He’s angstastic. (Though he won’t be so bad here, as he hasn’t seen the end of TB yet.)
Basically, Subaru is a Ghostbuster. Except that they like to call them onmyouji. His grandmother faxes him his jobs, and off he goes to fight crime and the forces of evil! Of course…Subaru doesn’t want to be a Ghostbuster. He wants to be a lumberjack zookeeper. This causes him a small amount of angst. (But what else is new?) Subaru is self-sacrificing to the point of stupidity, however, so he takes this without complaint. This glut of kindness and lack of self-esteem gets him in nasty situations quite often. Like insane mothers trying to gouge out his kidneys.
Fortunately for Subaru, he has a small triumvirate of protectors! These would include his grandmother (who supplies him with gloves for reasons she won’t elaborate on), his twin sister, Hokuto (who has only a little spiritual power, but mad fashion sense and ADD), and a nice, kind, considerate vet named Sakurazuka Seishirou that likes to make evil poses in the mirror grope Subaru on a regular basis. (Can we say ‘statutory rape’?) Unfortunately for Subaru, those protectors don’t work out so well. After all, this is CLAMP.
Sample Post:
Haa haa... No wonder obaa-sama worried about sending me here...
None of this makes any sense… Obaa-sama told me that a summer camp in America was having supernatural problems, and that they’d hired me to help…but she didn’t say anything about this. This isn’t like any camp I’ve ever heard of...and the infestation is much worse than I expected. I’ve used up all of my ofuda on the zombies, but it only seemed to make them angry…and I don’t even know what the rest of these things are… Besides that, it looks like there’s a barrier around this place that I can’t even touch. If I hadn’t found this tree, who knows what would have happened…
More importantly, this is a summer camp…or so I’ve been told… isn’t it? That means that there must be campers in these woods somewhere! and even if this isn’t a summer camp, someone had to have hired me… If that's the case, then others are in danger and it’s my responsibility to help them. Even if... Well. I need to find a way to--hmm? [gulp] to...exorcise these... oh no
SNAP! thud
Aaah! Why did they summon me here if I can't do anything to help?!
SEISHIROU-SAAAAAN! HOKUTO-CHAAAAN!
maybe I should have accepted that shotgun...
Poll Vote!
Character: Nanba Minami
Series: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (best known as Hanakimi)
Age: 18
Canon: Friendly and laid-back, Nanba Minami is the head of dorm two at the Osaka Academy and nephew of the school doctor Umeda Hokuto. Nanba is a secondary character in a shoujo manga, and even considering the pretty boys swarming everywhere, he is still one of the most handsome members of the cast. This matches perfectly his flirtatious nature, making him a notorious playboy. Despite enjoying teasing boys, Nanba considers himself a ladies man and will pursue a romantic interest despite violent rejection.
He has serious moments, though. These are mostly related to his underclassmen, whom he feels responsible for. Nanba will stand up to authority to protect students and generally act as a role model for them. Not a perfect role model ( since he drinks, loves to crash parties, stays out late and hands out condoms to students), but a role model indeed.
Sample Post:
Funny, I’m usually the one who does introductory tours around school, but I think I really need a guide. No need to comment on the flora and fauna, thank you. I have seen enough of it myself: to your left there’s decaying humanoids, mean looking plants and scary animals, to your right you can see part of an aquatic monster that might have eaten the rest of my class. I really hope not. Because I’m dorm head and I’m sure the teachers will blame it on me.
My name is Nanba Minami, please call me Nanba. Unless you are cute, then you can call me Minami and we can get to know each other better over dinner&hearts This place is not that bad... being sent to a desert island was the worst school trip ever, and even if the B horror movie setting of this place is hardly a spa, it could be worse. Last trip we didn’t have anything even resembling a girl except for Himejima, and the pompous prince doesn’t count.
Men of Camp Fuck You Die! You have no idea how lucky you are for being able to share your stay with such lovely ladies. This is the time to be bold, to be brave, the time for MANLY ROMANCE! You don’t want to go back home without experiencing the joy of summer camp love, do you? Mystery! Girls in bikinis! Bug bites and all other kinds of exotic dangers!
Do your best! As long as it's ethical and you follow the horrible camp rules it's okay. Or else I’ll just pretend we never had this conversation... Of course, I’ll be working hard too. Can't leave you do all the hard work, right?
Hello beautiful ladies! I don't mind at all if you have a boyfriend already, I'm going to be a good guest and not let that stand between us.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Shuichi
Series: Gravitation
Age: 19
Canon: Gravitation chronicles a young man's road to musical stardom with his band, Bad Luck. On the way, said road seems to be chock-full of hyperness, pink plush bunnies and gay relationship issues.
Shuichi is the young man in question and he's the vocalist and songwriter for Bad Luck. Optimistic and energetic don't even begin to describe him. He's more like a human created purely of sugar and Prozac. To add to the insanity, he is constantly ruining serious scenes by speaking without thinking first, and he randomly dresses up in bizarre costumes, including a suitcase, a battery, and a banana suit. He is also stubborn regarding anything or anyone he feels passionate about. While he's not the brightest (or most mature) light bulb in the band, he's highly affectionate and loyal. There are only three issues that push his emo buttons; his tortured writer boyfriend, Yuki, losing his friends and his confidence as a performer. Other than that...yeah. He's sugar and Prozac with pink hair.
App note: This Shuichi is based on the manga.
Sample Post:
Sorry for interrupting the 'Summer Camp Supercalifragy'-Uh...wait, no. Lemme try again! 'Summer Camp Supercalifrager'-Oh forget it! Sorry for interrupting the 'Summer Camp Super-Something Concert' but could anybody show me a phone I could use?
The yellow ones over there only play this tune about 'bananaphones' over and over again. It's really important that I call for help soon! A dead bus engine cannot and will not stop this band's nationwide tour!!! Rain or shine, Bad Luck's fans will be entertained -- on time!
I gotta say, though, this place isn’t as bad as it looks! It's like that saying, 'to never judge a book by its cover'. Only this time, it's never judge a camp by its smell! I was listening to the concert and as a professional, I can safely say that there's some great talent here! Not every gorilla can work that sort of magic with a keyboard! And the squid deserves appreciation for using all of its tentacles to play drums! Oh and it's amazing that Zombie-san could play guitar without his head! He didn’t have to be a literal headbanger though. The way it fell off was creepy.
But even if they play well, their singing could use work. Lots of work. They shouldn't sing hits like 'Larger than Life' or 'Dirty Little Secret' if keep they changing the words! Especially if the words are just going to be scary, they’ll never make the pop charts with-
...Eh, Zombie-san? You wrote an original song? Okay. I’ll take a look!
Blood cells are red
Veins are blue
I'll love you, too...when I eat your brains and skin.
...Errr...Stick with playing music. You’re great at that! I would give lessons for the singing and writing but as I’ve already said, I’m on a mission! I know there must be a working phone somewhere around. I don't care if even gravity is working against me, Bad Luck's tour will contin-
AHHH! OOF! Owww...whose idea was it to have a pit under a cracked sidewalk?
Poll Vote!
Character: Kuchiki Rukia
Series: Bleach
Age: At least a century and a half or so, but tiny enough to pass for a high schooler.
Applicant #1
Canon: Rukia is the first Shinigami (soul reaper, in Viz translation) shown in the
Bleach manga. When a mission to dispose of a Hollow (bad guy) goes awry, she
lends her powers to Ichigo to help him save his family. From then on she
becomes partners with him until she gets her powers back.
Rukia is rather naïve about many things in modern society (ie juice boxes).
She learns current lingual trends from reliable sources such as horror
manga. Rukia resided in Ichigo's closet while in the living world. She
presents a very convincing (to some) facade to her classmates of a demure,
proper girl when in fact she can be quite devious and well. Violent.
Sample Post:
This is puzzling.
I had hoped to reach Urahara's store by now. My soul candy dispenser has
broken and I must replace it with the Chappy© version. I will be greatly
disappointed if it is out of stock once again.
I want. The damn. Bunny.
I digress; that is beside the point. The point is I am in the middle of
nowhere, no store in sight, no Chappy© in hand. The point is Urahara
decided to move his store without bothering to tell his most loyal
customers. The point is there is a decomposing figure chewing on my
foot. The point is WHY ARE THERE DECOMPOSING THINGS CHEWING ON DECENT
WOMEN'S FEET.
Unless this is exactly the situation I've researched about. In the picture
book I procured from Ichigo's sister. There were groaning undead in that
story as well! I suspect there shall now be a scantily-clad female escaping
the diabolical plans of a mad scientist! Most excellent. That story was one
of my favorites. It was full of camp.
...Which would be where I am now, apparently. "Camp Fuck You Die." Today's
slang is so peculiar. Vulgar, yes, but nonsensical.
There appears to be a collection of cabins here, persons mingling with the
undead as though it were a normal situation. And unusual wildlife! I think
I may have to keep one of these white bears. As a souvenier, yes. No
problem with that, not at all. They seem to communicate with various
sounds of "kupo," and offer the options to "save" or "restart my game." I
don't know about that, but I think I'll call this one Darlene. His fur is
very soft to the touch. I'm fairly sure the bear is male; the voice is much
deeper than the others. Somewhat akin to ahh... what was that singer Mr.
Kurosaki liked? Barry White? Yes. A small bear version of Mr. White.
With just the right amount of ire.
Excellent. I will get my Chappy© and Darlene, and I will return home and
sketch a little white bear design for a Soul Candy dispenser. I'm sure the
manufacturers are willing to consider suggestions. Darlene would make a
wonderful mascot.
Applicant #2
Canon: Kuchiki Rukia was your average, everyday death god with a superiority complex up to here and a penchant for bad art and the dramatic. Her job entails beating down Hollows, ghosts that have lost their hearts and turned into monsters, and this line of work took her to the peaceful town of Karakura. One fateful evening, she met a jackass named Kurosaki Ichigo who possessed extraordinary spiritual power -- enough to cloud her senses from the Hollow nearby. Her ass got beaten, and in a last-ditch effort to save not only her own life but that of Ichigo and his entire family, she granted him access to some of her shinigami powers. . .except he took 'em all, leaving her to operate a fake body until her powers return.
A lot happens before her power actually ever returns: just about one hundred and ninety chapters later, after it's revealed that her lingering powerlessness and the fact that she got put on death row for it was part of an elaborate conspiracy. But, two hundred and some chapters later, it's kind of okay now!
Owing to her status as a noble of Soul Society, Rukia is a well-educated, eloquent girl who takes her job very seriously. Mostly. She does put forward a special sort of effort to conceal her identity as a death god, though she knows nothing of the modern world -- she's got difficulty poking holes in juice boxes and she curtsies and sparkles and generally fails at modern Japanese. She's a great actress and a great liar. And she's also got a myriad of issues in accordance with an angst-filled past, but nobody really needs to know that.
Sample Post:
Captain Ukitake if you receive this transmission I would like to let it be known that I am, in fact, speaking off of the record; there appears to be a number of humans inhabiting the area and caution is of utmost importance --
And would that you hear anything particularly unusual over the course of this transmission you must attribute it to my determination to complete my objective: locate our missing comrades: one (1) orange-haired fool; one (1) rooster; one (1) cue ball; one (1) honorable vice captain; the esteemed president of the Women's Association and vice captain of the esteemed Eleventh Division; Yamada Hanatarou; and the esteemed captain of the Second Division.
As you can see by how I referred to our missing comrades, I am already beginning to develop an identity that ordinary humans will find both charming and believable.
Citizens of Camp Fuck You Die, a terrible crisis has befallen all of you!
A beautiful, demure young woman has found herself stranded on the outskirts of your dominion. Her clothes are worn ragged from her journey; though her body is lithe as is befitting of a lady of her poise and grace, there is, in fact, such a thing as too lithe: she has not had a substantial meal in -- in twice, nay, thrice as long as humans were ever intended to go without! That is approximately three or four hours, correct? And, please, I beg of you, speak not of the trail of dismantled corpses that seems to have followed her here: it was by some stroke of misfortune that she happened upon these pitiable, foul-smelling beasts in their pitiable, mutilated state. She is frail, and incapable of harming a fly with such malicious intent --
I ask you, after all of you have played audience to such a grievous tale: will somebody not come and rescue her from her tragic fate?
. . .No?
You do realize about whom I am speaking -- ?
. . .well! Perhaps, then, it is not she that needs rescue, but you! Yes, you, for surely if you are unwilling to lift even a finger to assist a damsel in distress your troubles must far outnumber mine!
Very well, then! Would that any amongst you admirably tenacious inhabitants of this area find yourselves in need of a rescuer, then seek no further, fear no longer! I ask that you not follow the example set by your fur-lined and/or rotting brethren and please be gentle, for salvation has arrived, and I, Kuchiki Rukia, am but its humble overseer!
Where the hell is Ichigo, anyway?
Poll Vote!