(no subject)
Second round is a go!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Pellaz-har-Aralis (Pell)
Series: Wraeththu ( http://www.metrogirl.com/wcompanion/ )
Age: 18
Canon: Pellaz was a peasant. A naive, overconfident, somewhat bratty peasant, but one with a sharp mind and a good heart. Enchanted by stories of Wraeththu, a race of not-quite men that were said to abduct innocent boys such as himself, he became intrigued when an enigmatic stranger named Cal sought shelter on his family's farm. Pellaz somehow knew that this visitor was Wraeththu, and that he belonged with them.
Pellaz was incepted (turned from human to Wraeththu) by Thiede, the progenitor and puppeteer of all Wraeththu. This connection to Thiede got him a lot of special attention, so from the beginning, Pellaz knew he was important; he just hadn't figured out who he was. He and Cal traveled around Megalithica, looking for people who could help to educate him and raise him to higher levels of ability. Their journey was a literal one and a metaphorical one, as through their travels, Pellaz learned about himself.
As hard as he tries not to be, Pellaz is self-centered, and he doesn't often follow rules. He idealistically believes in equality for all, casually talks to human women, willfully asks forbidden questions, and is very much in love with Cal.
It was this latter part that got him into trouble. The great Thiede had plans for Pellaz that didn't include Cal, so he had Pellaz shot and killed... and that is where our stories diverge.
(Permission granted for Cal references. And no, he is not a zombie, he's just convinced he's dead of bullet.)
Sample Post:
So this is where posthumous works come from. Boredom.
I have been dead, by my reckoning, for a period of five days and four nights, with the fifth night rapidly approaching. I could easily call this place hell, but to do so I feel would be unfair... it is warm, and green, and although the lake smells terrible in the midday sun, the glow that emanates from it at night reminds strangely me of home.
I might even mistake it for home if there were hara, but so far, zombies are the only residents I've met. They have been much friendlier since our initial encounter... I was walking through the forest, not sure of where I was going, and I heard a rustling in the bushes. A horde of the undead suddenly stumbled out at me, groaning and flailing. I suppose the stumbing made them a rather nonthreatening horde, but I was startled, and in the name of self-preservation I summoned my courage, hefted my knife, rushed them and -
- screamed like a little girl when I accidentally elbowed off one of their heads. I will admit, that probably wasn't what Cal had in mind when he said I needed to embrace my feminine side, but it got their attention.
I managed to find the head in the bushes and return it to its rightful owner, and after that the group as a whole seemed kinder towards me, if still hungry. It took a good amount of time and gesturing to convince them that I was dead as well, and thus my brains were not worth eating. Zombies, thankfully, are not cannibalistic. Some of the smaller ones weren't convinced and proceeded to gnaw a little on my hair until their parents dragged them away. The experience wasn't entirely unpleasant; it turns out zombie saliva mends split ends.
The father of my new hairstylists calls himself Bub. He has been out of work for some time now, the poor man, but he plays beautiful music, has better communication skills than most, and seems to particularly enjoy my stories about Cal. As do his children, whose ages I haven't been able to determine from the state of decay, but... well. I wish I could say I did not know where zombies come from. Truth is, I have to listen to it nightly; their women are quite enthusiastic.
I'm heading out tonight, in the direction of "grrrrrnnnhhhh," according to Bub. He seems to think there are people I should meet there, possibly ones who can help me with my lessons. I will do my best to make a good impression.
Fortunately, I have not yet begun to molt.
Poll Vote!
Character: Cielo
Series: Digital Devil Saga
Age: Appears about 17.
Canon: In a barren world called the Junkyard, five Tribes battle
each other for the right to enter ‘Nirvana,’ where they’ll be granted all
they desire. Which can’t be much at first, because they’re emotionless
fighting machines...at least until a flash of light comes down and changes
everything. Unlocked emotions, memories, human identities? Check.
Transformation into demons? Cannibalism for survival? Hey, why not?
Sounds like a winning combination, right?
Cielo goes from complete blank to upbeat comedian very early on, gaining an
extremely optimistic personality along with a distinctive Jamaican accent.
He’s cheerful, honest, awkward, and loves to dance and joke; he’s also
fiercely loyal and believes in shouldering one’s own burdens. He has the
ability to transform into Dyaus, a birdlike demon alternately known as
‘Father of the Sky.’
Sample Post:
Hey, you dere! Ja, you, de green one getting all familiar with dat tree!
Take me to your leader! Or, you know, my leader would do in a pinch too.
Please? What’s your business grabbing me, anyway? Didn’t sign
up for nothing--I don’t even know who de heck ‘Bobsled’ is, so why would I
be wanting to join his team, mon? Be reasonable here!
Bobsled, I said. Bobsled, not brains...is hunting really dat bad for
you guys? Here, looks like you could use a couple of squirrels. C’mon, dey
ain’t dat bad, taste kind of like...chicken! Chicken sounds good. No,
still just de brains? Well den, no wonder you’re so skinny, if you keep
eating all picky like dat.
Wait, my brains? Nuh-uh. Get dis: I have my karma, you have yours;
we both deal with it and we understand dat your karma most definitely ain’t
in my head, okay mon? One finger up for yes, two fingers up for no.
Yes...no...wait, what? Fingers, I said. Not hands. Dooon’t put dose near
me.
...you didn’t need dat arm, did you? You did? Oops. Sorry.
I did kinda warn you, mon. And you’re moving around okay, not bleeding or
anything, so...forgive and forget? Be a good sport? Here, I’ll even do
some of my jammin’ Latin rhythm to cheer you up!
Hey hey, your moves are pretty swingin’ too, brudda; guess I’m not de only
dancer here! What do you guys do for fun in dese parts, anyhow? De
horizontal mambo, huh? I’m always willing to try something new, care to
demonstrate?
...Oh. Uh. Wait, I think I changed my mind. Ew.
Seriously, brudda, I don’t care how good it is ‘down where it’s wetter,’
dat’s just gross.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mint Blancmanche
Series: Galaxy Angel (the games, to be precise)
Age: 16
Canon: Mint is one of the members of the elite "Moon Angel Troupe", the bodyguards for the queen of the White Moon Kingdom. Mint comes from a line of businessmen which are seemingly richer than most intergalactic kingdoms, likely due to the fact that the family is comprised of telepaths. Her official job within the Moon Angel Troupe is "reconnaissance", a job suited to her particular capabilities.
She's very selective of who she makes friends with, though most of her friends wind up as favorite targets for her to tease. She usually tries to pass herself off as cute and sweet, but she's a natural-born actress, and when one tries to "call her bluff", they find themselves facing off against a cold, calculating genius. She actually has two sets of ears - one set's normal human ears, and the other set are the rabbit ears, which fluctuate in position based on her mood. Her most noticeable weakness is her slight addiction to candy and other sugary goodness. However, by far her greatest vice is her obsession with cosplay - full body suits in particular. She's actually embarrassed by it, so she tries to keep it a secret from everyone she knows.
Sample Post:
Milfeulle-san, I really don't think that a place named "Camp Fuck You Die" is really a nice place for a vacation. I don't care if their lake is the most unique color in the universe... Milfeulle-san? Milfeulle-san? Haa... It figures. She probably got lucky and landed on the wrong planet.
Ahem, I'm Mint Blancmanche, you may have heard of me... No? How delightful, it's nice to see some place where I'm completely unknown and can blend into the populace for once. It would be nice to meet you, except for the fact that you seem to be after my brains, and while I appreciate that you like girls with intelligence, I would like a man who's not... post-mortem. ...No, that doesn't mean you can nibble on one of my ears.
It's nice to meet you, campers. The zombies are certainly interesting to listen to, even though they're definitely not all there, both literally and metaphorically. The gorillas are a lot dirtier of course, but one was nice enough to give me this list of rules for camp:
"Rule #1: No sexual conduct allowed in camp." A logical choice, I think. It would be horrible if this place were overrun with sexual maniacs who were trying to have sex with everything in sight, don't you think?
"Rule #2: No alcohol allowed in camp." I'd say this is a good rule too. After all, why would anyone want to get themselves drunk in the first place? That stuff's bad for you anyways.
"Rule #3: No leaving the barrier." How... quaint. If it were possible to leave, I would already be gone from here.
"Rule #4: No sugar allowed in camp." .........
. . .
What kind of barbaric place is this?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sanji
Series: One Piece
Age: 19
Canon: There are four main points to Sanji.
Point one: Sanji is a fighter. Taught from a young age by a former pirate who was infamous for his kicking power, Sanji is a powerhouse of physical strength. Primarily Sanji’s main form of attack is a series of powerful kicks, but in the right environment (such as in a kitchen) he’ll whip out his-excuse the pun-kickass chef skills.
Point two: Sanji is a woman-lover. He loves them, he adores them, can’t get enough of them, and will do anything for them. Want a really rare flower that only grows on the highest outcropping on an unreachable mountaintop? No problem! Or how about that one impossible to find ingredient to a favorite recipe? Absolutely, pretty lady, and he’ll do it with a smile. In his mind women deserve to be worshiped for the beautiful goddesses they are, and his code makes it so that he can’t fight a woman.
Point three: Sanji is a cook. This used to be the highest point of interest for Sanji, because cooking was his life-and still is, for the most part. He has a lot of pride in his cooking, and for no small reason. His skills are at the top of his field, and he may very well be one of the best, if not the best, chef in his world. Not that that matters to him-all he wants to do is cook for people.
Point four: Sanji is a pirate. As Sanji travels with the protagonist of One Piece and his respective crew, point four begins to become the most important part of Sanji. He lives for his Nakama, or crewmates, and would do anything for them, and they for him. They are his everything. There is also the fact that he was adopted by an ex pirate, but since neither of them would admit to it it’s pretty much a moot point.
Other points of interest? Sanji cherishes food, and another part of his code will have him feed anyone who is hungry, no matter who they are or what they’ve done. He also cannot stand to see food wasted. His dream is to find a legendary ocean called "All Blue."
Sample Post:
Shit.
I never thought that I’d get this turned around-that’s Luffy and the idiot-swordsman’s issue, not mine. Still, Nami-swan wanted to survey the area, and there is no reason for such a beautiful, buxom beauty to tax herself in this heat. Don’t worry Nami-swan, your beloved and dependable Sanji-kun will map this area with the power of my LOOOVE~!!! AND--oh! What’s this? Uwah~!! Who is this pretty girl? With such long hair, artfully styled so as to look like she hasn’t touched it in years! And what a beautiful skin tone! So pale that it almost looks green…really green. And that rough texture? Absolutely heavenly~!
Say, what is your name, oh fair nymph who hast stolen my heart?
…Brains, you say? Uwah~! Brains-swan’s name is so beautiful and anatomically-correct~! ♥ Say, Brains-swan, would you like something to eat? I’m afraid there’s not much I can do without the proper supplies, but I think I can manage something.
…You would? Uwah~! Brains-swan’s eagerness for food is so beautiful and encouraging~! She’s so exquisite when she’s taking such dainty nibbles on my arm! Don’t worry Brains-swan! Your Prince-Charming will go forth and fetch a much better meal than my uncooked arm and ALKSJF;--
…Excuse me for a moment, Brains-swan.
[locked to the big stupid ugly gorilla who obviously doesn’t know how to act around a lady]
Oi. Shitty ape.
While there are some people out there who might appreciate these gestures you’re sending me, there’s no reason for you to be so fucking crass around such a beautiful lady. Now put down the lizard and take off the skirt-trust me, you’re not fooling anyone-and go on your merry way to do whatever the hell it is that you do…wait. Wait. What the fuck are you doing with that banana? Oh hell no DON’T YOU DARE PUT THAT THERE-
…That’s it. Didn’t anyone ever teach you, shitty ape? Food is never to be wasted.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Shuichi
Series: Gravitation
Age: 19
Canon: Gravitation chronicles a young man's road to musical stardom with his band, Bad Luck. On the way, the said road seems to be chock-full of hyperness, pink plush bunnies and gay.
Shuichi is that young man and is the vocalist and songwriter for Bad Luck. Optimistic and energetic doesn't even begin to describe him. He's more like a hybrid of sugar and Prozac in human form. To add to the insanity, he can innately ruin serious scenes by speaking without thinking first and randomly dress up in costumes such as a schoolgirl uniform and a banana suit. He can also be stubborn about anything or anyone he feels passionate about. While he's not the brightest light bulb in the band or the most mature, he's highly affectionate and loyal. There are only three issues that can push his emo button; his tortured writer boyfriend known as Yuki, his friends and his self-confidence as a performer. Other than that though, yeah. He's sugar and Prozac with pink hair.
App note: This Shuichi is heavily based on the anime.
Sample Post:
Wowwww!
That's right, Squid-san! Keep staying on beat! You're making those tentacles really useful for playing the drums! Gorilla-san, if you keep being careful, you'll sound great on keyboard! And Zombie-san, you're amazing to play guitar without your head! Even if it still creeps me out.
I thought this place was terrible but I'm glad I'm wrong! Did you guys know how much talent is around here? Ahaha! It's like that saying about never judge a book by its cover. Only this time, it's never judge by the smell! I just wish those birds would stop dropping stuff-
ACK! DAMN IT!
There they go again! Somebody could get really hurt if something like a sperm whale falls out of the sky next! Thank god Squid-san, Gorilla-san, and Zombie-san came out and picked up the instruments at least. That's just red paint on the drums, right? The cool part is after that, they started playing! It's incredible! You guys should let them do that more often! But don't let them sing. Some of their lyrics are scary. Really, really scary. They tried to sing 'Dirty Little Secret' but it didn't turn out good-
Eh? Zombie-san? You wrote a song? Okay! I'll take a look!
Blood cells are red
Veins are blue
I'll love you too when I eat your brains and skin.
Errr...Stick with playing music. You're still great on that! I would give lessons but I can't be here too long. My band's tour bus broke down and since everybody's mobiles just happened to all die at the same time, I'm supposed to look for a pay phone. But I fell through a rabbit hole after I went searching! How'd I even fit through? So can anyone show me where I could make a call? It's really important that I do this soon because we can't afford to be behind schedule. After all, Bad Luck's fans are waiting!!! And the sooner the tour's done, the sooner I get to be with Yuki again. I know the banana shaped phones don't work since all I hear from them is this catchy song about bananaphones-
....Huh? Wow! Trees can play harmonicas?
Poll Vote!
Character: Paine
Series: Final Fantasy X-2 (link) (and a KH2 cameo ftw)
Age: 18
Canon: Paine is the third and final member of the female triumvirate of sphere-hunters known as the Gullwings. Essentially? This means she goes around to treasure hunt for spheres, which are “valuable artifact”-ish in that world, with two others - Yuna, the used-to-be-modest group kinda-leader, and the relatively ditzy and overly-hyper Rikku, who usually has more hair on her head than clothes on her body. Paine is the quietest of the three, and that has a lot to do with the whole “character shrouded in mystery” thing the designers decided to pull. As it turned out, her past, so very full of angst, what with the being orphaned and betrayed and everything else, is what led her to her swordsman position and her ongoing search for answers.
She is noted for being more-or-less annoyed by her partners’ antics, and she lets it be known. Her native language is sarcasm, and she is also well versed in the sacred tongue of snark. She cares about her friends, but is cautious in her own way. She’s strong, has a good head on her shoulders, and frequently has a well-placed smirk on her lips. (In her cameo in Kingdom Hearts II, she’s exactly the same - just a little less intimidating and a lot more chibi.) Overall, she’s a leather-clad, not-quite-coldhearted girl who’s always up for some good ass-kicking.
Sample Post:
Rikku would love it here. She'd fit in. These zombies appear to be just as bouncy as she is after her third cup of coffee. Nice thing is that her mental capacity pretty much matches these things, too.
...Okay. Maybe that's a little bit of a lie. It isn't so much that she would love it here, it's that I would love her hating being here. She'd run away. I'd laugh my ass off. Either way, these things are entertaining enough to beat away with this ... pointy stick. Whatever.
Two questions.
How the hell did I get here? Someone has to have more of an idea than I do. Last thing I remember was falling asleep on the airship. Woke up with what could possibly the worst hangover in existence - my guess is the swamp fumes are responsible - to find two diseased-looking squirrels taking a piss on my boots.
I don’t know if it was just the fumes, but I swear there was this look of volition on their faces. Like they wanted me to know they knew what they were doing. Like they had a good reason for defiling such satisfactory workmanship, simply because I may have looked a little unhappy to be there.
Needless to say, their disposal was neither quick nor painless. Or clean, for that matter. But to say that they deserved anything less torturous would be a goddamned lie.
So. Now I’m here, having the time of my life, fending off dead-looking things with this pointy stick of mine. ...Honestly, who took my sword? If you give it back, I promise I won’t hurt you. Too much.
Second question. How the hell do I get back ou-wait. This looks like it’s turning green.
...Please tell me you have a doctor at this camp of yours. A decent leather cleaner, too? Squirrel appears to stain worse than one would think.
Poll Vote!
Character: Natsuhiko Taki
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 15
Canon: Natsuhiko Taki is a bona fide idiot. He's been obsessed with sports since childhood, and is unshakably convinced that his talent in every single one of them, as well as everything else in life, is a guaranteed 150%. That bobblehead ego has taken a lot of knocks; he has horrible luck, and failed a lot before he succeeded, his success coming mostly due to sheer dumbass refusal to admit defeat. The case is the same for his longtime and current love, American Football, where he was rejected by countless teams before finally (with extreme cleverly concealed gratitude) being accepted as a tight end for the Deimon Devil Bats.
Taki actually is good at sports; he has a super flexible body, and lives for fans, applause, and any form of recognition. He has a tough-talking little sister named Suzuna who he retardedly addresses as "my sister". He never wrote to her--or anyone--for half a year--when he took the family savings to go take the NFL pro test in America, a fact she was pretty pissed over.
Sample Post:
BONJOUR, my sister! It is I, your beloved brother, writing faithfully to you from the sweet shores of AMERICA! As you told me with violence how greatly the void of my guiding words affected you on my previous trip here, I have resolved to send you one detailed, exhaustive account of my thoughts and accomplishments for EVERY DAY that I am away from you this time around. Please, do not collapse over yourself to word adequate thanks! You are family I would do anything for--this touching sensitivity comes naturally to me.
Never fear, my sister! Heartwarmingly supportive sibling that you are, I know your most anxious desire now: I will begin without delay a list of my most impressive accomplishments for the day!
1. Successfully checked in baggage!
2. Suavely boarded plane!
3. Graciously donated half of my plane seat to a young mother's newborn child, for whom she had tragically forgotten to purchase a ticket, using my astounding powers of flexibility! Though I wonder now whether the poor child may have been sick, it was so silent the entire ride, its outward appearance for all the world like extra luggage wrapped in a children's blanket...
4. Triumphantly arrived at bus terminal!
5. Manfully boarded bus and--
--ahaHA, but Suzuna. At this point I must diverge, to confess that even I was caught by surprise by the zombies. And you insisted that things like zombie attacks never happened outside the movies I watch to prove I have nerves of steel! Lucky for you, I am too in touch with reality to be taken in by your jokes.
There was a certain degree of bloodshed before someone found a back exit to the bus, but I was 100% without fear. It all worked out in the end; the greyer ones I am convinced were fine-looking females in their youth turned out to be an appreciative audience of my flexible tree-dodging skill. While I could not oblige them with a keepsake piece of my beautiful body, I treated them to a demonstration of my running form and a handful of tossed autograph sheets on my way toward the other direction.
My sister, you evinced doubt when presented with the tattered flyer, but surely even you can see it now. I ask you as I know you ask yourself: what camp would possibly go to the expense to procure real, live zombies to use in a super-intense first-day elimination-round training session?
There is only one possibility. The mysterious "Camp Fu-blotch rip strange brown stain" is indeed CAMP FUTO, glorious American training camp to the best and brightest Amefuto stars, as I 100% knew it to be from the moment they accepted your prime-choice brother's application.
Surely, here at Camp Futo, zombies are only the first of many good signs to come.
My sister, expect your brother back at the end of this summer an even more flawless American Football player and unrivalled man than when he left.
Your ever-attentative big brother,
Natsuhiko
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Pellaz-har-Aralis (Pell)
Series: Wraeththu ( http://www.metrogirl.com/wcompanion/ )
Age: 18
Canon: Pellaz was a peasant. A naive, overconfident, somewhat bratty peasant, but one with a sharp mind and a good heart. Enchanted by stories of Wraeththu, a race of not-quite men that were said to abduct innocent boys such as himself, he became intrigued when an enigmatic stranger named Cal sought shelter on his family's farm. Pellaz somehow knew that this visitor was Wraeththu, and that he belonged with them.
Pellaz was incepted (turned from human to Wraeththu) by Thiede, the progenitor and puppeteer of all Wraeththu. This connection to Thiede got him a lot of special attention, so from the beginning, Pellaz knew he was important; he just hadn't figured out who he was. He and Cal traveled around Megalithica, looking for people who could help to educate him and raise him to higher levels of ability. Their journey was a literal one and a metaphorical one, as through their travels, Pellaz learned about himself.
As hard as he tries not to be, Pellaz is self-centered, and he doesn't often follow rules. He idealistically believes in equality for all, casually talks to human women, willfully asks forbidden questions, and is very much in love with Cal.
It was this latter part that got him into trouble. The great Thiede had plans for Pellaz that didn't include Cal, so he had Pellaz shot and killed... and that is where our stories diverge.
(Permission granted for Cal references. And no, he is not a zombie, he's just convinced he's dead of bullet.)
Sample Post:
So this is where posthumous works come from. Boredom.
I have been dead, by my reckoning, for a period of five days and four nights, with the fifth night rapidly approaching. I could easily call this place hell, but to do so I feel would be unfair... it is warm, and green, and although the lake smells terrible in the midday sun, the glow that emanates from it at night reminds strangely me of home.
I might even mistake it for home if there were hara, but so far, zombies are the only residents I've met. They have been much friendlier since our initial encounter... I was walking through the forest, not sure of where I was going, and I heard a rustling in the bushes. A horde of the undead suddenly stumbled out at me, groaning and flailing. I suppose the stumbing made them a rather nonthreatening horde, but I was startled, and in the name of self-preservation I summoned my courage, hefted my knife, rushed them and -
- screamed like a little girl when I accidentally elbowed off one of their heads. I will admit, that probably wasn't what Cal had in mind when he said I needed to embrace my feminine side, but it got their attention.
I managed to find the head in the bushes and return it to its rightful owner, and after that the group as a whole seemed kinder towards me, if still hungry. It took a good amount of time and gesturing to convince them that I was dead as well, and thus my brains were not worth eating. Zombies, thankfully, are not cannibalistic. Some of the smaller ones weren't convinced and proceeded to gnaw a little on my hair until their parents dragged them away. The experience wasn't entirely unpleasant; it turns out zombie saliva mends split ends.
The father of my new hairstylists calls himself Bub. He has been out of work for some time now, the poor man, but he plays beautiful music, has better communication skills than most, and seems to particularly enjoy my stories about Cal. As do his children, whose ages I haven't been able to determine from the state of decay, but... well. I wish I could say I did not know where zombies come from. Truth is, I have to listen to it nightly; their women are quite enthusiastic.
I'm heading out tonight, in the direction of "grrrrrnnnhhhh," according to Bub. He seems to think there are people I should meet there, possibly ones who can help me with my lessons. I will do my best to make a good impression.
Fortunately, I have not yet begun to molt.
Poll Vote!
Character: Cielo
Series: Digital Devil Saga
Age: Appears about 17.
Canon: In a barren world called the Junkyard, five Tribes battle
each other for the right to enter ‘Nirvana,’ where they’ll be granted all
they desire. Which can’t be much at first, because they’re emotionless
fighting machines...at least until a flash of light comes down and changes
everything. Unlocked emotions, memories, human identities? Check.
Transformation into demons? Cannibalism for survival? Hey, why not?
Sounds like a winning combination, right?
Cielo goes from complete blank to upbeat comedian very early on, gaining an
extremely optimistic personality along with a distinctive Jamaican accent.
He’s cheerful, honest, awkward, and loves to dance and joke; he’s also
fiercely loyal and believes in shouldering one’s own burdens. He has the
ability to transform into Dyaus, a birdlike demon alternately known as
‘Father of the Sky.’
Sample Post:
Hey, you dere! Ja, you, de green one getting all familiar with dat tree!
Take me to your leader! Or, you know, my leader would do in a pinch too.
Please? What’s your business grabbing me, anyway? Didn’t sign
up for nothing--I don’t even know who de heck ‘Bobsled’ is, so why would I
be wanting to join his team, mon? Be reasonable here!
Bobsled, I said. Bobsled, not brains...is hunting really dat bad for
you guys? Here, looks like you could use a couple of squirrels. C’mon, dey
ain’t dat bad, taste kind of like...chicken! Chicken sounds good. No,
still just de brains? Well den, no wonder you’re so skinny, if you keep
eating all picky like dat.
Wait, my brains? Nuh-uh. Get dis: I have my karma, you have yours;
we both deal with it and we understand dat your karma most definitely ain’t
in my head, okay mon? One finger up for yes, two fingers up for no.
Yes...no...wait, what? Fingers, I said. Not hands. Dooon’t put dose near
me.
...you didn’t need dat arm, did you? You did? Oops. Sorry.
I did kinda warn you, mon. And you’re moving around okay, not bleeding or
anything, so...forgive and forget? Be a good sport? Here, I’ll even do
some of my jammin’ Latin rhythm to cheer you up!
Hey hey, your moves are pretty swingin’ too, brudda; guess I’m not de only
dancer here! What do you guys do for fun in dese parts, anyhow? De
horizontal mambo, huh? I’m always willing to try something new, care to
demonstrate?
...Oh. Uh. Wait, I think I changed my mind. Ew.
Seriously, brudda, I don’t care how good it is ‘down where it’s wetter,’
dat’s just gross.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mint Blancmanche
Series: Galaxy Angel (the games, to be precise)
Age: 16
Canon: Mint is one of the members of the elite "Moon Angel Troupe", the bodyguards for the queen of the White Moon Kingdom. Mint comes from a line of businessmen which are seemingly richer than most intergalactic kingdoms, likely due to the fact that the family is comprised of telepaths. Her official job within the Moon Angel Troupe is "reconnaissance", a job suited to her particular capabilities.
She's very selective of who she makes friends with, though most of her friends wind up as favorite targets for her to tease. She usually tries to pass herself off as cute and sweet, but she's a natural-born actress, and when one tries to "call her bluff", they find themselves facing off against a cold, calculating genius. She actually has two sets of ears - one set's normal human ears, and the other set are the rabbit ears, which fluctuate in position based on her mood. Her most noticeable weakness is her slight addiction to candy and other sugary goodness. However, by far her greatest vice is her obsession with cosplay - full body suits in particular. She's actually embarrassed by it, so she tries to keep it a secret from everyone she knows.
Sample Post:
Milfeulle-san, I really don't think that a place named "Camp Fuck You Die" is really a nice place for a vacation. I don't care if their lake is the most unique color in the universe... Milfeulle-san? Milfeulle-san? Haa... It figures. She probably got lucky and landed on the wrong planet.
Ahem, I'm Mint Blancmanche, you may have heard of me... No? How delightful, it's nice to see some place where I'm completely unknown and can blend into the populace for once. It would be nice to meet you, except for the fact that you seem to be after my brains, and while I appreciate that you like girls with intelligence, I would like a man who's not... post-mortem. ...No, that doesn't mean you can nibble on one of my ears.
It's nice to meet you, campers. The zombies are certainly interesting to listen to, even though they're definitely not all there, both literally and metaphorically. The gorillas are a lot dirtier of course, but one was nice enough to give me this list of rules for camp:
"Rule #1: No sexual conduct allowed in camp." A logical choice, I think. It would be horrible if this place were overrun with sexual maniacs who were trying to have sex with everything in sight, don't you think?
"Rule #2: No alcohol allowed in camp." I'd say this is a good rule too. After all, why would anyone want to get themselves drunk in the first place? That stuff's bad for you anyways.
"Rule #3: No leaving the barrier." How... quaint. If it were possible to leave, I would already be gone from here.
"Rule #4: No sugar allowed in camp." .........
. . .
What kind of barbaric place is this?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sanji
Series: One Piece
Age: 19
Canon: There are four main points to Sanji.
Point one: Sanji is a fighter. Taught from a young age by a former pirate who was infamous for his kicking power, Sanji is a powerhouse of physical strength. Primarily Sanji’s main form of attack is a series of powerful kicks, but in the right environment (such as in a kitchen) he’ll whip out his-excuse the pun-kickass chef skills.
Point two: Sanji is a woman-lover. He loves them, he adores them, can’t get enough of them, and will do anything for them. Want a really rare flower that only grows on the highest outcropping on an unreachable mountaintop? No problem! Or how about that one impossible to find ingredient to a favorite recipe? Absolutely, pretty lady, and he’ll do it with a smile. In his mind women deserve to be worshiped for the beautiful goddesses they are, and his code makes it so that he can’t fight a woman.
Point three: Sanji is a cook. This used to be the highest point of interest for Sanji, because cooking was his life-and still is, for the most part. He has a lot of pride in his cooking, and for no small reason. His skills are at the top of his field, and he may very well be one of the best, if not the best, chef in his world. Not that that matters to him-all he wants to do is cook for people.
Point four: Sanji is a pirate. As Sanji travels with the protagonist of One Piece and his respective crew, point four begins to become the most important part of Sanji. He lives for his Nakama, or crewmates, and would do anything for them, and they for him. They are his everything. There is also the fact that he was adopted by an ex pirate, but since neither of them would admit to it it’s pretty much a moot point.
Other points of interest? Sanji cherishes food, and another part of his code will have him feed anyone who is hungry, no matter who they are or what they’ve done. He also cannot stand to see food wasted. His dream is to find a legendary ocean called "All Blue."
Sample Post:
Shit.
I never thought that I’d get this turned around-that’s Luffy and the idiot-swordsman’s issue, not mine. Still, Nami-swan wanted to survey the area, and there is no reason for such a beautiful, buxom beauty to tax herself in this heat. Don’t worry Nami-swan, your beloved and dependable Sanji-kun will map this area with the power of my LOOOVE~!!! AND--oh! What’s this? Uwah~!! Who is this pretty girl? With such long hair, artfully styled so as to look like she hasn’t touched it in years! And what a beautiful skin tone! So pale that it almost looks green…really green. And that rough texture? Absolutely heavenly~!
Say, what is your name, oh fair nymph who hast stolen my heart?
…Brains, you say? Uwah~! Brains-swan’s name is so beautiful and anatomically-correct~! ♥ Say, Brains-swan, would you like something to eat? I’m afraid there’s not much I can do without the proper supplies, but I think I can manage something.
…You would? Uwah~! Brains-swan’s eagerness for food is so beautiful and encouraging~! She’s so exquisite when she’s taking such dainty nibbles on my arm! Don’t worry Brains-swan! Your Prince-Charming will go forth and fetch a much better meal than my uncooked arm and ALKSJF;--
…Excuse me for a moment, Brains-swan.
[locked to the big stupid ugly gorilla who obviously doesn’t know how to act around a lady]
Oi. Shitty ape.
While there are some people out there who might appreciate these gestures you’re sending me, there’s no reason for you to be so fucking crass around such a beautiful lady. Now put down the lizard and take off the skirt-trust me, you’re not fooling anyone-and go on your merry way to do whatever the hell it is that you do…wait. Wait. What the fuck are you doing with that banana? Oh hell no DON’T YOU DARE PUT THAT THERE-
…That’s it. Didn’t anyone ever teach you, shitty ape? Food is never to be wasted.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Shuichi
Series: Gravitation
Age: 19
Canon: Gravitation chronicles a young man's road to musical stardom with his band, Bad Luck. On the way, the said road seems to be chock-full of hyperness, pink plush bunnies and gay.
Shuichi is that young man and is the vocalist and songwriter for Bad Luck. Optimistic and energetic doesn't even begin to describe him. He's more like a hybrid of sugar and Prozac in human form. To add to the insanity, he can innately ruin serious scenes by speaking without thinking first and randomly dress up in costumes such as a schoolgirl uniform and a banana suit. He can also be stubborn about anything or anyone he feels passionate about. While he's not the brightest light bulb in the band or the most mature, he's highly affectionate and loyal. There are only three issues that can push his emo button; his tortured writer boyfriend known as Yuki, his friends and his self-confidence as a performer. Other than that though, yeah. He's sugar and Prozac with pink hair.
App note: This Shuichi is heavily based on the anime.
Sample Post:
Wowwww!
That's right, Squid-san! Keep staying on beat! You're making those tentacles really useful for playing the drums! Gorilla-san, if you keep being careful, you'll sound great on keyboard! And Zombie-san, you're amazing to play guitar without your head! Even if it still creeps me out.
I thought this place was terrible but I'm glad I'm wrong! Did you guys know how much talent is around here? Ahaha! It's like that saying about never judge a book by its cover. Only this time, it's never judge by the smell! I just wish those birds would stop dropping stuff-
ACK! DAMN IT!
There they go again! Somebody could get really hurt if something like a sperm whale falls out of the sky next! Thank god Squid-san, Gorilla-san, and Zombie-san came out and picked up the instruments at least. That's just red paint on the drums, right? The cool part is after that, they started playing! It's incredible! You guys should let them do that more often! But don't let them sing. Some of their lyrics are scary. Really, really scary. They tried to sing 'Dirty Little Secret' but it didn't turn out good-
Eh? Zombie-san? You wrote a song? Okay! I'll take a look!
Blood cells are red
Veins are blue
I'll love you too when I eat your brains and skin.
Errr...Stick with playing music. You're still great on that! I would give lessons but I can't be here too long. My band's tour bus broke down and since everybody's mobiles just happened to all die at the same time, I'm supposed to look for a pay phone. But I fell through a rabbit hole after I went searching! How'd I even fit through? So can anyone show me where I could make a call? It's really important that I do this soon because we can't afford to be behind schedule. After all, Bad Luck's fans are waiting!!! And the sooner the tour's done, the sooner I get to be with Yuki again. I know the banana shaped phones don't work since all I hear from them is this catchy song about bananaphones-
....Huh? Wow! Trees can play harmonicas?
Poll Vote!
Character: Paine
Series: Final Fantasy X-2 (link) (and a KH2 cameo ftw)
Age: 18
Canon: Paine is the third and final member of the female triumvirate of sphere-hunters known as the Gullwings. Essentially? This means she goes around to treasure hunt for spheres, which are “valuable artifact”-ish in that world, with two others - Yuna, the used-to-be-modest group kinda-leader, and the relatively ditzy and overly-hyper Rikku, who usually has more hair on her head than clothes on her body. Paine is the quietest of the three, and that has a lot to do with the whole “character shrouded in mystery” thing the designers decided to pull. As it turned out, her past, so very full of angst, what with the being orphaned and betrayed and everything else, is what led her to her swordsman position and her ongoing search for answers.
She is noted for being more-or-less annoyed by her partners’ antics, and she lets it be known. Her native language is sarcasm, and she is also well versed in the sacred tongue of snark. She cares about her friends, but is cautious in her own way. She’s strong, has a good head on her shoulders, and frequently has a well-placed smirk on her lips. (In her cameo in Kingdom Hearts II, she’s exactly the same - just a little less intimidating and a lot more chibi.) Overall, she’s a leather-clad, not-quite-coldhearted girl who’s always up for some good ass-kicking.
Sample Post:
Rikku would love it here. She'd fit in. These zombies appear to be just as bouncy as she is after her third cup of coffee. Nice thing is that her mental capacity pretty much matches these things, too.
...Okay. Maybe that's a little bit of a lie. It isn't so much that she would love it here, it's that I would love her hating being here. She'd run away. I'd laugh my ass off. Either way, these things are entertaining enough to beat away with this ... pointy stick. Whatever.
Two questions.
How the hell did I get here? Someone has to have more of an idea than I do. Last thing I remember was falling asleep on the airship. Woke up with what could possibly the worst hangover in existence - my guess is the swamp fumes are responsible - to find two diseased-looking squirrels taking a piss on my boots.
I don’t know if it was just the fumes, but I swear there was this look of volition on their faces. Like they wanted me to know they knew what they were doing. Like they had a good reason for defiling such satisfactory workmanship, simply because I may have looked a little unhappy to be there.
Needless to say, their disposal was neither quick nor painless. Or clean, for that matter. But to say that they deserved anything less torturous would be a goddamned lie.
So. Now I’m here, having the time of my life, fending off dead-looking things with this pointy stick of mine. ...Honestly, who took my sword? If you give it back, I promise I won’t hurt you. Too much.
Second question. How the hell do I get back ou-wait. This looks like it’s turning green.
...Please tell me you have a doctor at this camp of yours. A decent leather cleaner, too? Squirrel appears to stain worse than one would think.
Poll Vote!
Character: Natsuhiko Taki
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 15
Canon: Natsuhiko Taki is a bona fide idiot. He's been obsessed with sports since childhood, and is unshakably convinced that his talent in every single one of them, as well as everything else in life, is a guaranteed 150%. That bobblehead ego has taken a lot of knocks; he has horrible luck, and failed a lot before he succeeded, his success coming mostly due to sheer dumbass refusal to admit defeat. The case is the same for his longtime and current love, American Football, where he was rejected by countless teams before finally (with extreme cleverly concealed gratitude) being accepted as a tight end for the Deimon Devil Bats.
Taki actually is good at sports; he has a super flexible body, and lives for fans, applause, and any form of recognition. He has a tough-talking little sister named Suzuna who he retardedly addresses as "my sister". He never wrote to her--or anyone--for half a year--when he took the family savings to go take the NFL pro test in America, a fact she was pretty pissed over.
Sample Post:
BONJOUR, my sister! It is I, your beloved brother, writing faithfully to you from the sweet shores of AMERICA! As you told me with violence how greatly the void of my guiding words affected you on my previous trip here, I have resolved to send you one detailed, exhaustive account of my thoughts and accomplishments for EVERY DAY that I am away from you this time around. Please, do not collapse over yourself to word adequate thanks! You are family I would do anything for--this touching sensitivity comes naturally to me.
Never fear, my sister! Heartwarmingly supportive sibling that you are, I know your most anxious desire now: I will begin without delay a list of my most impressive accomplishments for the day!
1. Successfully checked in baggage!
2. Suavely boarded plane!
3. Graciously donated half of my plane seat to a young mother's newborn child, for whom she had tragically forgotten to purchase a ticket, using my astounding powers of flexibility! Though I wonder now whether the poor child may have been sick, it was so silent the entire ride, its outward appearance for all the world like extra luggage wrapped in a children's blanket...
4. Triumphantly arrived at bus terminal!
5. Manfully boarded bus and--
--ahaHA, but Suzuna. At this point I must diverge, to confess that even I was caught by surprise by the zombies. And you insisted that things like zombie attacks never happened outside the movies I watch to prove I have nerves of steel! Lucky for you, I am too in touch with reality to be taken in by your jokes.
There was a certain degree of bloodshed before someone found a back exit to the bus, but I was 100% without fear. It all worked out in the end; the greyer ones I am convinced were fine-looking females in their youth turned out to be an appreciative audience of my flexible tree-dodging skill. While I could not oblige them with a keepsake piece of my beautiful body, I treated them to a demonstration of my running form and a handful of tossed autograph sheets on my way toward the other direction.
My sister, you evinced doubt when presented with the tattered flyer, but surely even you can see it now. I ask you as I know you ask yourself: what camp would possibly go to the expense to procure real, live zombies to use in a super-intense first-day elimination-round training session?
There is only one possibility. The mysterious "Camp Fu-blotch rip strange brown stain" is indeed CAMP FUTO, glorious American training camp to the best and brightest Amefuto stars, as I 100% knew it to be from the moment they accepted your prime-choice brother's application.
Surely, here at Camp Futo, zombies are only the first of many good signs to come.
My sister, expect your brother back at the end of this summer an even more flawless American Football player and unrivalled man than when he left.
Your ever-attentative big brother,
Natsuhiko
Poll Vote!