(no subject)
The top Iroh from the last round has been moved to here for re-votins thanks to the split vote. One special triple-and-dup round remains after this!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- Please don't speculate on who the apper is!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Harley Quinn (Wikipedia)
Series: Batman: The Animated Series (Wikipedia)
Character Age: Unknown, but probably late 20s to early 30s
Job: Camp psychiatrist
Canon: Dr. Harleen Quinzel was a promising criminal psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. Hoping to further her career, she obtained permission for a series of private sessions with the Joker, Arkham's most famous (and, to Dr. Quinzel, most charming) resident. She very quickly fell in love with the Clown Prince of Crime. Shortly after Dr. Quinzel changed her identity to Harley Quinn and helped bust the Joker out of his cell. She's been his loyal hench wench and main squeeze ever since.
Harley Quinn is energetic and will do anything for a laugh, but her sense of humor tends to be as dangerous as it is silly. She can be a little flaky, but she's a sweetheart who will do anything for her man.
Sample Post:
Pop quiz!
You've just been caught committing atrocities hitherto unknown by man, and you get two choices of where to go from here. Do you:
A) Waste away for who knows how long in an asylum for the criminally insane
or
B) Do community service at a summer camp for snot-nosed scamps?
You'd think it'd be a no brainer, but what they don't tell you in the package is what a dump this place is. Bugs the size of my leg! And trust me, buster, they can hold a lot more goop than it looks like. This suit will never be the same. No wonder you're all so miserable.
Rumor has it there's some of you got acute stress disorder, PTSD, sociopathy, impulse control disorders brought about by consumption of suspicious foods, and even some good ol' fashioned depression. But never fear, kiddies! Harley is going to make it all better!
Now, you may be wonderin' what a gorgeous, clever, and well-spoken woman dressed like a clown knows about crazies, kooks, and loons. Well, lemme tell ya, it takes one to know one!
For starters, I'm thinkin' that the best medicine is laugher, right? Right! So turn that frown upside down! . . . But not in a literal sense, even if you can tear your mouth clean off. Ewwwwww. C'mon, it'll be a blast! Or it would if possessing firearms and high-grade explosives didn't violate my parole.
And remember that the sooner I can get you little brats to stop whining about everything, the sooner I can go back to Mr. J. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Riza Hawkeye
Series: Full Metal Alchemist (manga)
Character age: Late 20s
Job: Pet trainer
Canon: Riza Hawkeye is Colonel Roy Mustang's no nonsense second in command, although after some spoilery revelations, she was reassigned. Strict, dedicated, cool and professional, Hawkeye has a fierce loyalty to her Mustang, even if she does sometimes show it by reprimanding him. She's a sharpshooter with incredible aim (often, unsurprisingly, leading people to remark on her "hawk's eye") and skill. Despite her serious exterior, she has a soft side, and shows something of a fondness for Winry, Ed, and Al. She also keeps a puppy, Black Hayate, whom she cares for lovingly except when shooting at him to train him where the litterbox is. Basically, she is a badass. Sometimes serial killers fall for her and stalk her lovingly. Well, really just once. But it was memorable.
Sample post:
Well, Colonel. I see I haven't come a moment too soon. I had expected my reassignment would signal a considerable drop in your productivity, but I didn't think even you would prefer a swamp like this to your office. Naturally, I've brought your new paperwork. I trust there will be no problems.
To the rest of you, I am Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. I have been briefed on the situation here, and while I understand that it must be difficult to keep morale high, I'm sure counselors like the Colonel are more than willing to help with your difficulties. If he has been helping any of you female campers too much with your difficulties, please let me know at once.
However, there is no excuse for the kind of behavior you all demonstrate towards the animals here. Campers have adopted, according to my notes, pets ranging from kittens and horses to tentacle monsters and singing cacti. Yet there is no kind of authority figure ensuring they are treated as they should be. Pets are an important responsibility, and if you are not prepared to give them the attention and care they deserve, then you should not take them in to begin with. The director has assigned me the task of doing so. With my experience caring for both my own dog, Black Hayate, and Colonel Mustang, I must agree with her choice in this matter.
Take, as an example, these gorillas. Even the most wild of animals can be disciplined and kept in line. With this in mind, I have designed a simple training course, utilizing my own doggie treats and whatever firearms you have available to you, to ensure all campers who want a pet will be adequately prepared for the challenge. Of course, I do not expect all of you to have a firm enough command of your firearms to follow my lead, especially if all you have is the shotguns you were issued on arrival, but I have confidence in your dedication. We will move from larger, more expendable and dangerous animals into more common housepets.
Camper! Your gorilla hasn't touched you or any other camper for the last five minutes. Give him one of the treats in your bag.
You, that doesn't go there. Fire three rounds. Do not hit the gorilla. No, you may not just have a new one.
As soon as all of you have sucessfully demonstrated your ability to not kill your animals with friendly fire, you may come to me for inspection. I expect all of you to be able to move to smaller targets by the end of the week. At that time you will be allowed a more conventional pet, such as a dog or cat.
And you there, leave that zombie alone. I don't care if he started it, this is no time for playing around. Pet discipline is serious business.
Poll Vote!
Character: Inspector Zenigata Koichi
Series: Lupin III (Official site: www.lupinofficial.com)
Character Age: Mid 40's (no actual age given)
Job: Security Detail
Canon: Inspector Zenigata is a good cop in nearly
every sense of the word. His abilities are up there with the best cops
in the world, and he's even able to handcuff suspects from a distance
with a mere flick of the wrist. Zenigata's tragic flaw, however, is in
his choice of targets: the uncatchable Arsene Lupin. Zenigata's
obsession with catching Lupin has worked in his favor, however;
sometimes, Lupin even helps Zenigata catch more serious criminals.
Still, Zenigata is relentless in his pursuit and will go to any means
- and any place - to catch his man... but he'd never kill Lupin. As a
matter of fact, Lupin once faked his death, and Zenigata cried like a
baby. Catching Lupin has become Zenigata's obsession, and it even
clouds his judgement and his relationship with his family
sometimes.
Sample Post:
Aha! Found ya, Lupin! Took me a few months, a lot of hard
work and determination, not to mention that touchy feely giant
squid...
Hmmmph. Bet Lupin thought the long arm of the law would just swing
right by this place, huh? Not while Inspector Zenigata's on the job!
Thought you could get away from me, eh? Not this time! Finally tracked
you down, you little scoundrel... I've been waiting to put these
beautiful, shiny handcuffs on you for a looooong time~!
So, I understand that this little convention here's full of science
fiction fans or cartoon fans or somethin'. Well, it sure would ruin
your day if the master thief Lupin the Third came by and stole all of
this... uh... precious stuff you got lyin' around. Like... your
zombies costumes... gorilla suits... concessions... guest speakers...
cheapass freebies, like, I don't know, maybe pens and stuff...
laminated plastic badges... uh... well, okay, I don't know why
Lupin would come here, because really, this place looks like a real
dive! Hmmmph. It just doesn't make any damn sense. Is
Lupin looking to steal some fanboy smell or something?
But anyway! I'm Inspector Zenigata from Interpol, and I'll be
protecting all of your prized possessions from Lupin. Y'see, nobody
knows Lupin better than me, so I'll be handling your security.
Just trust me on this one; I've been after this guy for years, and
damnit, this time, I'll catch that bastard! No need to thank me, of
course, just doin' my job, out of the goodness of my heart and a
respect for the good old law. Now that I'm here, you just go ahead and
relax... uh... and, pardon me, ma'am, but your face is
falling off. You might wanna readjust that costume you got goin' on
there.
Now, I can tell you're speechless, ma'am, and I'm just as perplexed as
you. I still don't understand why Lupin would come here of all places.
But regardless, you can sleep safely knowing that Inspector Zenigata--
errr, why, thank you, ma'am, you don't need to be so affect-- now,
just hang on one sec-- Hey, leggo that hat! That's government
property! Now LISTEN HERE, lady, I'm an agent of the law-- WOULD YA
STOP BITING MY FACE ALREADY!!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Livio the Double Fang
Series: Trigun Maximum
Character Age: Appears to be late twenties.
Job: Mental health advisor
Canon: Livio is a member of both the Gung-Ho Guns, a group of killers sent after one Vash the Stampede, and the Eye of Michael, a sect of plant-worshipping assassins. He holds both positions for good reason, as he is an extremely capable killing machine who never seems to question his orders. Once upon a time, though, he was an emo kid with no self-esteem who went to the same orphanage as Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Once he was trained as an assassin, those traits were overshadowed. Further to that, Livio has a split personality, the other half being Razlo the Trip of Death. Razlo is a psychotic nutjob and luckily only comes out in extremely bad situations. Usually Livio is in control, and much less psychotic.
Livio first appears to be pretty unsympathetic, cold, and dedicated to carrying out his orders. After a particularly nasty fight, Livio joins Vash’s side and other parts of his personality start to come out. He’s polite to people, thinks little kids are cute and worth protecting, and sometimes makes an ass of himself falling over tables and stopping fights mid-way just to get his hat back. Despite being unsure how to interact with people and make up for his past, Livio is determined to do what he can to help humanity.
Sample Post:
Before I begin, I should mention that I have no qualifications for this. The job of mental health advisor was assigned to me at random. Which was... unfair unexpected, but I’ll do what I can.
There are three things you should know if you want to stay sane in this camp.
1. The barrier is impenetrable. You all know that. You also know that attacking it causes… problems. What you don’t know is that it also unbalances your mind whenever you’re near it. It’s subtle, but gradually it will start to affect your judgment. At first you’ll just be annoyed that you couldn’t break out. Then you’ll begin to believe that that you’re just not trying hard enough. So you attack it again, and again. You’ll forget about everyone and everything else except the barrier. Eventually, your life will consist of nothing but attacking, yelling at and staring at the barrier, but you’ll never succeed. This is obsessive behaviour and bad for your sanity. You only need to look at telemarketers to see where you’ll end up.
2. Stop blaming the computers for what they post, or do, or say. It’s not the computers doing these things: it’s you. You might argue that you’d never post polls about who would dominate between two boys, and that you would remember doing such a thing. But that’s wrong. You’re repressing it. It’s you who posted the detailed summary of your sex life. It’s you who chose that inappropriate icon at the wrong moment. It’s you who ordered the Care Bear porn online. The sooner you face up to the fact that you’re doing these things and forgetting them afterwards, the sooner you’ll stop losing your memory. Don’t pretend it’s not happening. Next time, it could be worse; you could post your baby photos.
3. Stop trying to figure out the time/space paradoxes of camp. I’ve been shown people who tried it before, and it isn’t good. If you ever wondered how the zombies were created, and why they want brains so much… you now know.
I should mention that if any of you feel as though you are going insane, or are already insane… or starting to think that insanity may be a good thing (I have to stress that it is not), then you must come to me immediately. I won’t… actually be able to do anything about it, but you have to see me all the same. I’ll decide what to do with you at the time. If I have reason to believe that you’ve too far gone to be helped, I will have to view you as a threat to camp safety and dispose of you. Or restrain you. I don’t want to hurt kids, of course. I’d like it if you were all happy, and well-adjusted. However, should disposal be necessary, I'll make it swift, painless, and not leave so much as a spray of blood.
Pamphlets will be available shortly.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shibuya Miko ("Jennifer")
Series: Kyou Kara Maou!
Character Age: not given, but probably in her late thirties or early forties
Job: Home economics
Canon:
Kyou Kara Maou! is a series in which an average, everyday, baseball-loving young Japanese schoolboy, Shibuya Yuuri, is one day flushed down the toilet. He is shortly made the Maou, or Demon King, of a Shin Makoku, a land in which sharks are herbivores and giant pandas terrorize the desertside. In such a show, Yuuri's adorable and excitable mother stands out as even more special than royal thong underwear. Jennifer (a nickname from her schoolgirl days) is one of those mothers who still speaks in baby talk to her 15- and 20-year-old sons, and attempted to make a daughter out of her youngest, Yuuri -- she dressed him in pigtails and cute dresses as a toddler, and even now buys him pink, frilly aprons. Sadly, Yuuri refuses to wear said apron -- but his friend, Murata Ken ("Ken-chan"), is more than willing to not only wear this apron, but to also pose for Jennifer as she takes pictures of him wearing it.
Jennifer considers curry a very important, family-defining food that is different for each and every household. Jennifer-style Chunky Vegetable Curry, the Shibuya family curry, is made with large cuts of vegetables: "Oh, isn't it cute? Besides, cooking is love. If you put your feelings into it, everything is delicious! If you prepare a feast like this, then you can become friends with anyone! World peace starts at the dinner table."
And of course, no description of Shibuya Jennifer would be complete without mentioning that she thinks indiscriminate shouting and general crying out from where her son and his friend are in the bath is "a nice time" and "good male bonding."
Sample Post:
Yoohoo, Yuuuuu-chaaaaan! I know you're supposed to be at a baseball training camp, but Mama just couldn't rest easy, knowing her precious son is off, away from home and his mother's home cooking! I'm just here for a visit, maybe a day or two or maybe three...you know, I've never been to see Louisiana before! The swamps are sort of like a theme park, you know? Mama thinks she might have used up all her film on taking pictures of those pretty gorillas -- but I'm sure I can find some more!
Do you know, your father tried to keep me home, Yuu-chan? "Leave him alone," he said. "Let the boy has some fun without his mother bugging him!" But your darling mother knew better, and got directions from Ken-chan! You know, Yuu-chan, Ken-chan found the time to come home and visit me -- he even posed for some more photos! Mama got the cutest pink bows to go with the apron, you know! ♥ So Mama got directions from Ken-chan and took it upon herself to come all the way around to world to check up on her precious son and make sure he wasn't homesick for some of his mother's homestyle cooking! Aren't you glad, Yuu-chan?
Don't worry, Yuu-chan, I won't get in the way of any of your silly training. Besides, did you know all these children here have never learned how to make curry? The director of this camp was kind enough to give me something to do while I'm here -- Mama's going to be the Home Ec. teacher here! A baseball camp that also teaches Home Economics -- what a wonderful director you must have, to give the campers such a well-rounded experience!
Now, class, remember what I taught you -- just a bit of rice, and a huge helping of vegetables -- well, yes, you can substitute brains if you like. Oh, my, the swamps are much more like a theme park than I thought! ♥ Just cut like so, nice big helpings, and before you know it, you'll have a big, large serving of curry for all your friends! Curry is an excellent way to bring everyone together, class -- people may fight and argue during the day, but when Mama sets out a nice, warm curry dinner, everyone sits down and forgets their bad feelings. World peace may begin at the dinner table, but don't forget -- camp peace starts at the mess hall! ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: (Uncle) Iroh
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Character Age: Unspecified. Looks to be mid to late 50's. Possibly older.
Job: Relaxation counselor
Canon: Iroh is optimistic, polite and occasionally lazy.
He generally comes off as extremely cheerful and upbeat, always trying to
make the best of a situation and often making silly jokes to lighten the
mood. However, despite his joking demeanor, he is actually a powerful and
experienced Fire Bender (one who can control the element of fire through
martial arts), and a rather angsty past. He has also taken on the roll of
guardian to his nephew Zuko, the exiled prince of the Fire Nation. Oh. And
to understate? He likes tea. A lot.
Sample Post:
Well. I must say, this place is certainly…unique. So much activity. The
animal life is so colorful! Even the plants are lively. I wondered if any of
them could be used to create new flavors of tea. After all, tea made from
such animated plants could certainly have quite a kick!
As it turns out, though, I would not recommend it. Actually acquiring the
leaves needed was difficult, since the plant took some offense at being
picked. And the taste of the tea is…well. Let us just say my nephew’s is
much better. Ingesting the plant also seemed to come with some side effects.
The rash on my back is not the worst I have had, but it is not particularly
comfortable, either. My my mouth is also now a rather interesting shade of
purple. Though, I believe that could have been caused by using your lake
water in the tea. It seems to change colors as it is heated. Very
entertaining!
Oh! How rude of me. I have failed to introduce myself. Hello, children! My
name is Iroh. It is my understanding that some of you may have some problems
with stress. I have been hired by your lovely Director to help you all learn
to relax.
After my adventure with the local plant life today, I can see how situations
presented here could be stressful. Plants that have teeth and are willing to
use them are a difficult thing to get used to. I know from personal
experience that young people can take things very seriously, but the trick
is not to let it get you down! Personally, I recommend tea. And singing!
Singing is a wonderful way to forget about the day’s problems. I am very
excited at the prospect of some lively camp sing-a-longs.
I am looking forward to meeting all of you, and will be happy to help you in
any way I can. When you come to visit me, if you could bring some lotion
that could be used to treat a rapidly spreading rash, I would be most
appreciative.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- Please don't speculate on who the apper is!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Harley Quinn (Wikipedia)
Series: Batman: The Animated Series (Wikipedia)
Character Age: Unknown, but probably late 20s to early 30s
Job: Camp psychiatrist
Canon: Dr. Harleen Quinzel was a promising criminal psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. Hoping to further her career, she obtained permission for a series of private sessions with the Joker, Arkham's most famous (and, to Dr. Quinzel, most charming) resident. She very quickly fell in love with the Clown Prince of Crime. Shortly after Dr. Quinzel changed her identity to Harley Quinn and helped bust the Joker out of his cell. She's been his loyal hench wench and main squeeze ever since.
Harley Quinn is energetic and will do anything for a laugh, but her sense of humor tends to be as dangerous as it is silly. She can be a little flaky, but she's a sweetheart who will do anything for her man.
Sample Post:
Pop quiz!
You've just been caught committing atrocities hitherto unknown by man, and you get two choices of where to go from here. Do you:
A) Waste away for who knows how long in an asylum for the criminally insane
or
B) Do community service at a summer camp for snot-nosed scamps?
You'd think it'd be a no brainer, but what they don't tell you in the package is what a dump this place is. Bugs the size of my leg! And trust me, buster, they can hold a lot more goop than it looks like. This suit will never be the same. No wonder you're all so miserable.
Rumor has it there's some of you got acute stress disorder, PTSD, sociopathy, impulse control disorders brought about by consumption of suspicious foods, and even some good ol' fashioned depression. But never fear, kiddies! Harley is going to make it all better!
Now, you may be wonderin' what a gorgeous, clever, and well-spoken woman dressed like a clown knows about crazies, kooks, and loons. Well, lemme tell ya, it takes one to know one!
For starters, I'm thinkin' that the best medicine is laugher, right? Right! So turn that frown upside down! . . . But not in a literal sense, even if you can tear your mouth clean off. Ewwwwww. C'mon, it'll be a blast! Or it would if possessing firearms and high-grade explosives didn't violate my parole.
And remember that the sooner I can get you little brats to stop whining about everything, the sooner I can go back to Mr. J. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Riza Hawkeye
Series: Full Metal Alchemist (manga)
Character age: Late 20s
Job: Pet trainer
Canon: Riza Hawkeye is Colonel Roy Mustang's no nonsense second in command, although after some spoilery revelations, she was reassigned. Strict, dedicated, cool and professional, Hawkeye has a fierce loyalty to her Mustang, even if she does sometimes show it by reprimanding him. She's a sharpshooter with incredible aim (often, unsurprisingly, leading people to remark on her "hawk's eye") and skill. Despite her serious exterior, she has a soft side, and shows something of a fondness for Winry, Ed, and Al. She also keeps a puppy, Black Hayate, whom she cares for lovingly except when shooting at him to train him where the litterbox is. Basically, she is a badass. Sometimes serial killers fall for her and stalk her lovingly. Well, really just once. But it was memorable.
Sample post:
Well, Colonel. I see I haven't come a moment too soon. I had expected my reassignment would signal a considerable drop in your productivity, but I didn't think even you would prefer a swamp like this to your office. Naturally, I've brought your new paperwork. I trust there will be no problems.
To the rest of you, I am Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. I have been briefed on the situation here, and while I understand that it must be difficult to keep morale high, I'm sure counselors like the Colonel are more than willing to help with your difficulties. If he has been helping any of you female campers too much with your difficulties, please let me know at once.
However, there is no excuse for the kind of behavior you all demonstrate towards the animals here. Campers have adopted, according to my notes, pets ranging from kittens and horses to tentacle monsters and singing cacti. Yet there is no kind of authority figure ensuring they are treated as they should be. Pets are an important responsibility, and if you are not prepared to give them the attention and care they deserve, then you should not take them in to begin with. The director has assigned me the task of doing so. With my experience caring for both my own dog, Black Hayate, and Colonel Mustang, I must agree with her choice in this matter.
Take, as an example, these gorillas. Even the most wild of animals can be disciplined and kept in line. With this in mind, I have designed a simple training course, utilizing my own doggie treats and whatever firearms you have available to you, to ensure all campers who want a pet will be adequately prepared for the challenge. Of course, I do not expect all of you to have a firm enough command of your firearms to follow my lead, especially if all you have is the shotguns you were issued on arrival, but I have confidence in your dedication. We will move from larger, more expendable and dangerous animals into more common housepets.
Camper! Your gorilla hasn't touched you or any other camper for the last five minutes. Give him one of the treats in your bag.
You, that doesn't go there. Fire three rounds. Do not hit the gorilla. No, you may not just have a new one.
As soon as all of you have sucessfully demonstrated your ability to not kill your animals with friendly fire, you may come to me for inspection. I expect all of you to be able to move to smaller targets by the end of the week. At that time you will be allowed a more conventional pet, such as a dog or cat.
And you there, leave that zombie alone. I don't care if he started it, this is no time for playing around. Pet discipline is serious business.
Poll Vote!
Character: Inspector Zenigata Koichi
Series: Lupin III (Official site: www.lupinofficial.com)
Character Age: Mid 40's (no actual age given)
Job: Security Detail
Canon: Inspector Zenigata is a good cop in nearly
every sense of the word. His abilities are up there with the best cops
in the world, and he's even able to handcuff suspects from a distance
with a mere flick of the wrist. Zenigata's tragic flaw, however, is in
his choice of targets: the uncatchable Arsene Lupin. Zenigata's
obsession with catching Lupin has worked in his favor, however;
sometimes, Lupin even helps Zenigata catch more serious criminals.
Still, Zenigata is relentless in his pursuit and will go to any means
- and any place - to catch his man... but he'd never kill Lupin. As a
matter of fact, Lupin once faked his death, and Zenigata cried like a
baby. Catching Lupin has become Zenigata's obsession, and it even
clouds his judgement and his relationship with his family
sometimes.
Sample Post:
Aha! Found ya, Lupin! Took me a few months, a lot of hard
work and determination, not to mention that touchy feely giant
squid...
Hmmmph. Bet Lupin thought the long arm of the law would just swing
right by this place, huh? Not while Inspector Zenigata's on the job!
Thought you could get away from me, eh? Not this time! Finally tracked
you down, you little scoundrel... I've been waiting to put these
beautiful, shiny handcuffs on you for a looooong time~!
So, I understand that this little convention here's full of science
fiction fans or cartoon fans or somethin'. Well, it sure would ruin
your day if the master thief Lupin the Third came by and stole all of
this... uh... precious stuff you got lyin' around. Like... your
zombies costumes... gorilla suits... concessions... guest speakers...
cheapass freebies, like, I don't know, maybe pens and stuff...
laminated plastic badges... uh... well, okay, I don't know why
Lupin would come here, because really, this place looks like a real
dive! Hmmmph. It just doesn't make any damn sense. Is
Lupin looking to steal some fanboy smell or something?
But anyway! I'm Inspector Zenigata from Interpol, and I'll be
protecting all of your prized possessions from Lupin. Y'see, nobody
knows Lupin better than me, so I'll be handling your security.
Just trust me on this one; I've been after this guy for years, and
damnit, this time, I'll catch that bastard! No need to thank me, of
course, just doin' my job, out of the goodness of my heart and a
respect for the good old law. Now that I'm here, you just go ahead and
relax... uh... and, pardon me, ma'am, but your face is
falling off. You might wanna readjust that costume you got goin' on
there.
Now, I can tell you're speechless, ma'am, and I'm just as perplexed as
you. I still don't understand why Lupin would come here of all places.
But regardless, you can sleep safely knowing that Inspector Zenigata--
errr, why, thank you, ma'am, you don't need to be so affect-- now,
just hang on one sec-- Hey, leggo that hat! That's government
property! Now LISTEN HERE, lady, I'm an agent of the law-- WOULD YA
STOP BITING MY FACE ALREADY!!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Livio the Double Fang
Series: Trigun Maximum
Character Age: Appears to be late twenties.
Job: Mental health advisor
Canon: Livio is a member of both the Gung-Ho Guns, a group of killers sent after one Vash the Stampede, and the Eye of Michael, a sect of plant-worshipping assassins. He holds both positions for good reason, as he is an extremely capable killing machine who never seems to question his orders. Once upon a time, though, he was an emo kid with no self-esteem who went to the same orphanage as Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Once he was trained as an assassin, those traits were overshadowed. Further to that, Livio has a split personality, the other half being Razlo the Trip of Death. Razlo is a psychotic nutjob and luckily only comes out in extremely bad situations. Usually Livio is in control, and much less psychotic.
Livio first appears to be pretty unsympathetic, cold, and dedicated to carrying out his orders. After a particularly nasty fight, Livio joins Vash’s side and other parts of his personality start to come out. He’s polite to people, thinks little kids are cute and worth protecting, and sometimes makes an ass of himself falling over tables and stopping fights mid-way just to get his hat back. Despite being unsure how to interact with people and make up for his past, Livio is determined to do what he can to help humanity.
Sample Post:
Before I begin, I should mention that I have no qualifications for this. The job of mental health advisor was assigned to me at random. Which was... unfair unexpected, but I’ll do what I can.
There are three things you should know if you want to stay sane in this camp.
1. The barrier is impenetrable. You all know that. You also know that attacking it causes… problems. What you don’t know is that it also unbalances your mind whenever you’re near it. It’s subtle, but gradually it will start to affect your judgment. At first you’ll just be annoyed that you couldn’t break out. Then you’ll begin to believe that that you’re just not trying hard enough. So you attack it again, and again. You’ll forget about everyone and everything else except the barrier. Eventually, your life will consist of nothing but attacking, yelling at and staring at the barrier, but you’ll never succeed. This is obsessive behaviour and bad for your sanity. You only need to look at telemarketers to see where you’ll end up.
2. Stop blaming the computers for what they post, or do, or say. It’s not the computers doing these things: it’s you. You might argue that you’d never post polls about who would dominate between two boys, and that you would remember doing such a thing. But that’s wrong. You’re repressing it. It’s you who posted the detailed summary of your sex life. It’s you who chose that inappropriate icon at the wrong moment. It’s you who ordered the Care Bear porn online. The sooner you face up to the fact that you’re doing these things and forgetting them afterwards, the sooner you’ll stop losing your memory. Don’t pretend it’s not happening. Next time, it could be worse; you could post your baby photos.
3. Stop trying to figure out the time/space paradoxes of camp. I’ve been shown people who tried it before, and it isn’t good. If you ever wondered how the zombies were created, and why they want brains so much… you now know.
I should mention that if any of you feel as though you are going insane, or are already insane… or starting to think that insanity may be a good thing (I have to stress that it is not), then you must come to me immediately. I won’t… actually be able to do anything about it, but you have to see me all the same. I’ll decide what to do with you at the time. If I have reason to believe that you’ve too far gone to be helped, I will have to view you as a threat to camp safety and dispose of you. Or restrain you. I don’t want to hurt kids, of course. I’d like it if you were all happy, and well-adjusted. However, should disposal be necessary, I'll make it swift, painless, and not leave so much as a spray of blood.
Pamphlets will be available shortly.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shibuya Miko ("Jennifer")
Series: Kyou Kara Maou!
Character Age: not given, but probably in her late thirties or early forties
Job: Home economics
Canon:
Kyou Kara Maou! is a series in which an average, everyday, baseball-loving young Japanese schoolboy, Shibuya Yuuri, is one day flushed down the toilet. He is shortly made the Maou, or Demon King, of a Shin Makoku, a land in which sharks are herbivores and giant pandas terrorize the desertside. In such a show, Yuuri's adorable and excitable mother stands out as even more special than royal thong underwear. Jennifer (a nickname from her schoolgirl days) is one of those mothers who still speaks in baby talk to her 15- and 20-year-old sons, and attempted to make a daughter out of her youngest, Yuuri -- she dressed him in pigtails and cute dresses as a toddler, and even now buys him pink, frilly aprons. Sadly, Yuuri refuses to wear said apron -- but his friend, Murata Ken ("Ken-chan"), is more than willing to not only wear this apron, but to also pose for Jennifer as she takes pictures of him wearing it.
Jennifer considers curry a very important, family-defining food that is different for each and every household. Jennifer-style Chunky Vegetable Curry, the Shibuya family curry, is made with large cuts of vegetables: "Oh, isn't it cute? Besides, cooking is love. If you put your feelings into it, everything is delicious! If you prepare a feast like this, then you can become friends with anyone! World peace starts at the dinner table."
And of course, no description of Shibuya Jennifer would be complete without mentioning that she thinks indiscriminate shouting and general crying out from where her son and his friend are in the bath is "a nice time" and "good male bonding."
Sample Post:
Yoohoo, Yuuuuu-chaaaaan! I know you're supposed to be at a baseball training camp, but Mama just couldn't rest easy, knowing her precious son is off, away from home and his mother's home cooking! I'm just here for a visit, maybe a day or two or maybe three...you know, I've never been to see Louisiana before! The swamps are sort of like a theme park, you know? Mama thinks she might have used up all her film on taking pictures of those pretty gorillas -- but I'm sure I can find some more!
Do you know, your father tried to keep me home, Yuu-chan? "Leave him alone," he said. "Let the boy has some fun without his mother bugging him!" But your darling mother knew better, and got directions from Ken-chan! You know, Yuu-chan, Ken-chan found the time to come home and visit me -- he even posed for some more photos! Mama got the cutest pink bows to go with the apron, you know! ♥ So Mama got directions from Ken-chan and took it upon herself to come all the way around to world to check up on her precious son and make sure he wasn't homesick for some of his mother's homestyle cooking! Aren't you glad, Yuu-chan?
Don't worry, Yuu-chan, I won't get in the way of any of your silly training. Besides, did you know all these children here have never learned how to make curry? The director of this camp was kind enough to give me something to do while I'm here -- Mama's going to be the Home Ec. teacher here! A baseball camp that also teaches Home Economics -- what a wonderful director you must have, to give the campers such a well-rounded experience!
Now, class, remember what I taught you -- just a bit of rice, and a huge helping of vegetables -- well, yes, you can substitute brains if you like. Oh, my, the swamps are much more like a theme park than I thought! ♥ Just cut like so, nice big helpings, and before you know it, you'll have a big, large serving of curry for all your friends! Curry is an excellent way to bring everyone together, class -- people may fight and argue during the day, but when Mama sets out a nice, warm curry dinner, everyone sits down and forgets their bad feelings. World peace may begin at the dinner table, but don't forget -- camp peace starts at the mess hall! ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: (Uncle) Iroh
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Character Age: Unspecified. Looks to be mid to late 50's. Possibly older.
Job: Relaxation counselor
Canon: Iroh is optimistic, polite and occasionally lazy.
He generally comes off as extremely cheerful and upbeat, always trying to
make the best of a situation and often making silly jokes to lighten the
mood. However, despite his joking demeanor, he is actually a powerful and
experienced Fire Bender (one who can control the element of fire through
martial arts), and a rather angsty past. He has also taken on the roll of
guardian to his nephew Zuko, the exiled prince of the Fire Nation. Oh. And
to understate? He likes tea. A lot.
Sample Post:
Well. I must say, this place is certainly…unique. So much activity. The
animal life is so colorful! Even the plants are lively. I wondered if any of
them could be used to create new flavors of tea. After all, tea made from
such animated plants could certainly have quite a kick!
As it turns out, though, I would not recommend it. Actually acquiring the
leaves needed was difficult, since the plant took some offense at being
picked. And the taste of the tea is…well. Let us just say my nephew’s is
much better. Ingesting the plant also seemed to come with some side effects.
The rash on my back is not the worst I have had, but it is not particularly
comfortable, either. My my mouth is also now a rather interesting shade of
purple. Though, I believe that could have been caused by using your lake
water in the tea. It seems to change colors as it is heated. Very
entertaining!
Oh! How rude of me. I have failed to introduce myself. Hello, children! My
name is Iroh. It is my understanding that some of you may have some problems
with stress. I have been hired by your lovely Director to help you all learn
to relax.
After my adventure with the local plant life today, I can see how situations
presented here could be stressful. Plants that have teeth and are willing to
use them are a difficult thing to get used to. I know from personal
experience that young people can take things very seriously, but the trick
is not to let it get you down! Personally, I recommend tea. And singing!
Singing is a wonderful way to forget about the day’s problems. I am very
excited at the prospect of some lively camp sing-a-longs.
I am looking forward to meeting all of you, and will be happy to help you in
any way I can. When you come to visit me, if you could bring some lotion
that could be used to treat a rapidly spreading rash, I would be most
appreciative.
Poll Vote!