(no subject)
HEY-YO, IT IS THE FIRST BATCH. We've got a decent number of appers and it's busy finals week! We'll be grouping the Kingdom Hearts apps together again, and we're not done with weeding, but we're working through it. There's a dup batch at the end of this one!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Ahiru (Princess Tutu)
Series: Princess Tutu
Age: 13
Canon: Drosselmeyer was dead, to begin with. There is no
doubt whatever about that. This must be distinctly understood, or…. Well,
no. Actually, even if you don’t understand that, this particular story is
going to sound pretty cracktastic.
Princess Tutu is the tale of a duck who turns into a girl who turns into a
ballerina. Following the whims of the sadistic author of her story, Herr
Drosselmeyer, Ahiru is on a quest to save her friends from the fairytale
that ensnares them. Most especially, she has been charged with returning
to her Prince, Mytho, the emotions that he lost when he cut out his own
heart as part of a spell to ensnare a wicked raven. These emotions appear
both as ‘heart shards’ and as ghostly images of Mytho himself.
As a girl Ahiru is loveable and sweet, if no small part spastic. She’s
rock bottom in her ballet classes, she’s got some sort of allergic
reaction to being on time, and whenever she thinks about her beloved she
blushes, stammers, and falls all over herself. As Tutu, she is self
contained and graceful. No matter what form she is in, the important thing
to remember is that either way she’s one of those internally luminous
people.
Hello there? I don’t- is this really the trail to a summer camp?
Well, I’ve never been away from the academy before since in my case
trips to the lakeside really don’t count. I’m sure I’ll get used
to this. I just hope it won’t be a bother to have me here... But after all,
I should only be imposing for a week, or maybe two. I’ll have it by
then, for sure. That’s all the time there is between when regular
classes end and summer sessions begin. And I could never forget what I’ve
been told: a dancer can’t take too much time off! Even, no especially, a
probationary class member like me!
It’s just that this place is so different from Kinkan Town. But... I
have to remember that it’s all for Mytho-sempai. And I have to find it
again, this heart shard. This... the feeling of... U, S, T?
But how did it run so far away from the others? Someone, something must
have drawn it here. And why did it say that when I asked if it
would dance with me? I don’t know the horizontal mambo! Is that even a
step? It doesn’t sound at all like the pas de duex. More like a
fruity drink- or no, that’s mango. A poisonous snake? I bet there are a
lot of those here. There have been all kinds of noises out here in the
woods.
I shouldn’t worry. I’ll definitely find it! Because, I am... Princess
Tutu.
Camp Fuck You Die, will you dance with me?
Poll Vote!
Character: Tokitoh Minoru
Series: Wild Adapter
Age: 17
Canon: Wild Adapter is a dark story that revolves around the lives of Kubota Makoto, former youth leader of the Japanese Mafia and Tokitoh Minoru, who doesn't remember anything from his past. Kubota (who Tokitoh refers to as Kubo-chan) found him unconscious on the street one day, picked him up and took him home as if he were a stray cat; they've been living as roommates ever since. Together, they search for any possible trails or clues that may lead them to W.A., a drug that causes people to turn into animal-like monsters and which they believe is the key to Tokitoh's past. This is because Tokitoh's right hand (which he keeps hidden under a leather glove most of the time) is covered in fur and claws, and it has an amazing destructive power that lets Tokitoh do anything from crushing a PlayStation constroller during a game to yanking a signpost out of the ground.
Tokitoh is often described as blunt, insensitive, and egotistical. He thinks highly of himself and loves to be acknowledged for his merits. Terribly stubborn and with a very short temper, but also loyal and caring, Tokitoh can be very childlike at times. He takes pleasure in the small things in life, doesn't know the meaning of the word 'patience' and can be clueless when it comes to normal things (like how long it takes for a baby to be born), but he's fairly knowleadgeable in pop culture areas like manga and video games (they often decide who gets to do what housechores based on the outcome of their video game matches -- which unfortunately, Tokitoh always loses).
This is the last time I fall asleep on the subway! Seriously. I mean, it was really nice of that rotten stinkin' guy to wake me up when we got here -the least he could do after having drooled all over my shirt, ergh!- but I'm pretty sure this isn't where I was originally headed to, so I kinda need to know when the next train's gonna show up because I'm starting to get bored. Not to mention impatient.
The hell's up with this place, anyway? Never been to a summer camp before, but this looks like something out of a lame horror movie more than anything else. I just hope I don't get in trouble for ripping up a tree or two to beat up those gorillas who tried to steal my Game Boy. Ahh... same goes for the goats, the llamas and that psycho cat who tried to eat my hand. But that's what they get for messin' with this Tokitoh-sama! Next time I won't hold back!
...But holding back some might mean less mess. This is gonna be a bitch to wash off my glove, geh. I went looking for a stream and ended up finding an underwear tree. I can't believe it! Maybe if I keep looking I'll find a pants tree or a shirt tree or a pajama tree. If I could take seeds or something back with me we wouldn't have to worry about the laundry anymore!
...
Or! I could just listen to my stomach and start heading back. Like I said before, it'd be real helpful if someone'd show me the way out already. It's gettin' dark and I need to be home in case that idiot Kubo-chan decides to finally come back; I didn't cook his favorite ramen for nothing! You've got yourselves a damn special place here, but it isn't really my thing, so-- ...waitwaitwaitwaitwait what? ...I gotta be hallucinating or something, because I swear there's a freaking Moogle standing in front of me. Shit, I knew I shouldn't've eaten that four-day-old curry.
Wooo~w, so fluffy and soft.
Poll Vote!
Character: Etna
Series: Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
Age: 1470 (appears and acts 14)
Canon: Etna is a young demon, a loyal-ish vassal to the slightly inept Prince/Evil Overlord (Maou), Laharl. She was in love with the old Maou and envied his wife and son to the point of loathing; however, the old Maou's final wish was for her to protect the young prince, which she does in her own special way. She's manipulative, bossy, snarky, violent, and it would be a lie to say she doesn't have her eye on the throne just a little. But underneath all of that, she probably has a good heart.
In the game, she is generally cheerful even and especially while plotting some sort of mischief. Her favorite things to do are to make fun of the resident angel, and boss around her minions. She fancies herself the cute heroine (or occasionally sexy villainess) of a bad anime, and is prone to launching into "Previews" of the next episode that have little or nothing to do with the actually plot of the game. When it's really time to get serious, she can do so...but it's rarely time to get serious. Tilde and heart-mark abuse is canon.
Well, isn't this special~? I guess this is what happens when you "forget" to pay the dimensional gatekeeper for several weeks in a row, eh Prince? Prince? ... Laharl? Oh that's just lame! Like hell am I gunna get my subjugation on when the rest of the party is off lollygagging somewhere. If that twerp thinks I'm going to help him expand his evil empire out of the goodness of my heart, he has another think coming!
Not a shabby place you got here, Director. But there's still a few things you could learn about running a tight and productive hell. The swamp theme is fine, and I love whatever you have going on in the lake, but you might want to think about a castle of some sort, or even just a mansion. No one's gunna want to bring tributes and bribes to some office! And lady, I don't know who taught you about forming a party, but you gotta diversify, see? Zombies and gorillas are great and all, but you're not gunna subjugate squat without a well-rounded team of minions. Get some mages in there, some fighters maybe! I can see this place has plenty of potential - you just listen to Etna and we can make this an A-class underworld in no time! Now, about my nominal consulting fee... ♥
Next episode, the mysterious and powerful Etna hits the scene! Men want her, women want her too, pilots burst out into tears and ninjas spontaneously combust at the mere sight of her awesomeness! More beautiful and dramatic than two boys kissing under a cherry tree, more powerful than an eighty-seven tailed gerbil demon, and with the most awesome sound-track ever, can anyone stop her reign of terror? Find out next time! Slashy Crack Sparkle Zombie Camp: Fuck You Die X Episode 86: Campers in a pinch? Etna is the queen! You'd better be ready! ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Pellaz-har-Aralis (Pell)
Series: Wraeththu ( http://www.metrogirl.com/wcompanion/ )
Age: 18
Canon: Pellaz was a peasant. A naive, overconfident, somewhat bratty peasant, but one with a sharp mind and a good heart. He was enchanted by stories of Wraeththu, a race of not-quite men that hailed from the North, who were said to abduct innocent boys such as himself. And when an enigmatic stranger named Cal arrived on the farm, seeking shelter, Pellaz knew that the visitor was Wraeththu, and he belonged with them.
Pellaz was incepted (turned from human to Wraeththu) by Theide, the first Wraeththu. Between this and his parents' constant doting back home, he became accustomed to getting special attention. So Pellaz knew what he was. He just hadn't discovered who
he was. He and Cal travelled around Megalithia, looking for people who could help to educate Pellaz in the ways of Wraeththu, and raise him to higher levels of ability. Their journey was a literal one and a metaphorical one, as through their travels, Pellaz learned about himself.
As hard as he tried not to be, Pellaz was self-centered. And he didn't often follow rules. He believed in equality, he talked to human women, he asked forbidden questions, and he was very much in love with Cal. It was the latter of that list got him in trouble. Theide had plans for Pellaz that didn't involve Cal, so he had Pell shot and killed... but that's the beginning of another story.
(Permission granted for the Cal references.)
...this is not Immanion.
Excuse me. My name is Pellaz, I hail from Saltrock, and I am not sure why I'm here. Honestly, I believe I am lost. The last thing I remember is a woman, and a gun, and I realize that isn't terribly precise, but I need to return to that place. Cal is there, and he wouldn't have left without me; he must be waiting. Unless, perhaps, you have seen him? He's taller than me, with blond hair, and he had three horses with him.
You haven't seen him? In that case, I must look for him myself. Would you know if there is a healer present? My he----
...I'm all for herbal remedies, but enchanting your trees to attend to patients goes a bit too far. And I believe your spell has gone wrong somehow, as this does not appear to be a friendly tree. Or perhaps it's too friendly a tree. Either way, I'd advise you send someone to take care of it. Now, I will ask again, is there a healer? One without roots? My head is killing me and I need to find Cal.
Are you sure you haven't seen anyone with horses? Well. Maybe you were distracted by the sentient trees growing in your forest, hmm? Are they even really trees? Something is wrong about this place, can you feel it? The land, the plants, it's unnatural. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but for all I know, this is another ambush, and you've done something terrible to Cal. He is here, I can feel it. You are lying to me.
I demand you tell me where we are. There is no such green in the desert, so we must have traveled, and I'm assuming this place has a name. Everything is named, no matter how small.
...now you are mocking me, and I do not appreciate it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Tendo Akane
Series: Ranma 1/2 (manga) The specific article on Akane is here
Age: 17
Canon: Ranma 1/2 is the story of Ranma, a martial artist who turns into a girl when splashed with cold water, and his crazy hijinks and numerous fiancees. Akane is Ranma's "uncute" fiancee, and the two have a very...uh, physical relationship. In other words, Akane demonstrates her proficiency with throwing heavy objects whenever Ranma sticks his foot in his mouth (or even when he doesn't).
The best description of Akane is from the first volume; as Kasumi, her elder sister says, "Akane's really a very sweet girl. She's just a violent maniac." Akane is prone to mood swings and absolutely despises "perverts," since she's often the subject of unwanted attention from boys (She’s kidnapped often and has to be saved by Ranma, something her martial artist’s ego just can’t stand), and won't hesitate to hit any boy she feels is behaving inappropriately. However, Akane is also very nice and friendly (if a bit dense at times), always ready to help anyone who needs it. Also, despite being a tomboy and failing badly at all things domestic (especially cooking), she's still a romantic girl at heart, and cares a lot for Ranma.
All in all, Akane is very kind and caring...as long as you don't piss her off.
Argh, this is so stupid! I don't see why I have to come here to look for Ranma, since this training trip was his own idea and he obviously didn't want anyone tagging along and "slowing him down." Besides, it's not like I care about the jerk, so this is just a waste of my time! I wouldn't be here if Daddy and the rest hadn't said I should follow him "because he's your fiance, Akane!" "It's good practice for when you two are married!" Well, so far I haven't gotten practice in anything but beating up these perverted purple gorillas that keep trying to make me their queen. Just because that insensitive jerk says I'm "as strong as a gorilla" all the time doesn't mean I am one, so back off!
But I thought fine, as long as I'm here I might as well make the best of it. Even though they aren't very strong, I can always train with the gorillas, and I can practice my cooking while I camp out! I mean, all the vegetation here glows, so that means it's extra healthy, right? That's a perfectly logical conclusion, so I don't get why none of the bunnies or birds I've seen wanted to try my soup. I'm sure it's safe, but they refused to even get near it. I'll show them though; just you wait, I'll make the best-tasting soup this side of the woods!
Oh, and I still need to look for Ranma, I guess. He's probably off having a great time without the rest of us, the jerk. I hope he's all right I don't know where he'd be, but I'll ask around if I meet anyone else-like that man over there! Hello, mister? Have you seen a boy with a pigtail wearing a red shirt around here? He likes to pick fights, and you can probably find him by following the trail of property damage but-hey, what do you think you're doing, you pervert?! Get away from me! If you try biting me again, you'll regret it! I'm warning you...
Take that! And that!
...hmph, back again? I can't believe you're actually trying something, even after I knocked your fake arm off! I don't even need both hands to take care of a disgusting pervert like you-there, now you can't stand up and try to chase me anymore, so just give up and leave me alone, okay?
...
...are you trying to bite my kneecaps?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lyra Belacqua, a.k.a. Lyra Silvertongue
Series: His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman
Age: 12
Canon: In a universe very much like ours, an organization called the General Oblation Board (better known as the "Gobblers") was formed under the Church and dedicated to eliminating a feared elementary particle called Dust... through research that involved kidnapping masses of children and subjecting them to a process more horrific than most could ever imagine. Lyra is a girl who was daring and resourceful enough to escape the Gobblers, but not before she saw their activities for herself.
Equipped with the alethiometer, a compass-like instrument that tells her the truth about any question she asks it (although the answers are sometimes vague or arbitrary), Lyra travels through universes determined to find the source of Dust before the Church does. Strong-willed, passionate, and proud, her greatest skill is her ability to tell lies convincingly without batting an eyelash, sometimes even using them to trick her audience into doing what she wants. But for all her cleverness, she is in many ways still a normal, naive child.
She has two companions on her journey. The first is her daemon Pantalaimon, or Pan for short, who is the physical manifestation of Lyra's own soul. Like the daemons of all children, he can change his appearance to the shape of any animal. The second is Will, a boy her age whom she meets shortly after leaving her own universe and who quickly becomes her most trusted friend. Lyra is being apped from just before the end of the second book, when she is mysteriously separated from him.
I'm sorry to interrupt you while you're singing so beautifully outside my cabin this morning, sir, but I've got to tell you how moved I am by your plea for food. I can only imagine how awful it must be, when the only thing you're able to eat is brains and everyone around you is selfish enough to keep all of theirs inside their own head! So please, let me help you. I was talking yesterday to some gorillas like the ones over there -- where I come from, all humans have to be fluent in Gorillese -- and they said they'd be more than happy to crush some human skulls to get brains for you, if only you'd be polite and ask them yourself. But since they don't speak Zombian, you have to mime it to them, see -- act like you're crushing your own skull, like this -- and they'll know what you mean. Won't you go try it? ... Yeah, like that!
... That took care of him, Pan. Now stop worrying so much! I told you already, this place is safe. I know it looks suspicious, all these kids being gathered here like this by some Director, but the alethiometer said she only wants us to find out who killed her fiancé. She en't with the Gobblers or the Church at all. She's just too scared to investigate the murder herself, I bet, and she doesn't want to go to the police because they'd suspect she done it, like they always do with husbands and wives when one of 'em gets killed.
'Course it's still not right for her to keep us here like slaves! But if all she wants from us is the mystery solved, I know we can get out soon and find Will. I just need to figure out the right questions to ask the alethiometer. I already asked outright who killed him, and all it said was "a murderer," so I got to be more specific. Now I'm asking what they look like...
"Like the fiancé's murderer"?
Pan... I think we might be here a bit longer than I thought.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kami-sama
Series: Gensoumaden Saiyuki
Age: 20 (unofficially, but it’s implied that he’s a few years younger
than Genjo Sanzo.)
Canon: Kami-sama is quite the oddball, even compared to the other
weirdoes that the Sanzo-ikkou deal with on their long journey Westward. His
sense of right and wrong is completely skewed-he lives on the principle his
master taught him, that ‘human lives are all just toys in the hands of God.’
As he’s since taken on God’s title, well…you can see how this is going.
He enjoys playing games with people-usually cruel games that involve life,
death and/or sanity, depending on his mood. He’s coy, teasing, selfish and
arrogant, and his mannerisms are eerily childish. When angered or denied
what he wants, he (appropriately) acts like a spoiled brat having a temper
tantrum. This is not as funny as it might sound: he has several deadly
magical techniques to use on offenders, including prayer beads that act like
bullets and an army of killer toys made from souls.
On a deeper level, despite how naïve he often seems, he knows he’s actually
a puppet set to kill the Sanzo-ikkou. He’s so devoted to his master that
he’s quite willing to play this particular ‘game’ until he wins, or (as
eventually happens) is killed.
How rude! Someone’s made new rules in the middle of the game, and didn’t
even say anything. I should go scold them-that’s cheating, and cheaters
never win-but I like these better. They’re ever so much more
interesting than the old ones were.
Still, maybe I’ll find them later, you know? After we’ve finished playing.
Or before, even! After all, if they can do things to the competition, then
I can too. It’s only fair.
And at least they’ve sent some things along, because all these woods?
Aren’t the part of the rules I like. All green and samey and boring,
boring, boring-needs redecoration. More bright, happy colours. Red would
work. Hello!
You’re Braiiiiiiins, you’re Braiiiiiiiiiiiins and he’s Braiins? Man, the
owner here has no imagination at all. Why don’t I play with you for
awhile, instead? I think I’ll call you Mr. Moldy-Green. And she’ll be Miss
One-Arm, because girls can play too, I’m not that picky! And you can be Mr.
Wormy Eyesocket. And-ohoh?
I guess Mr. Moldy-Green doesn’t like his name much! Tell you what: if you
win, Mr. Moldy-Green, then you can be Mr. Eyesocket. Mr. Eyesocket’s my
favorite name. But it’s only for the one who wins, understand?
…what? Broken already?
Maa~aa, Sensei never did say what you do with the toys that have no souls.
They’re no fun after awhile. Kind of flimsy, you know? It’s not good,
letting your playthings get all worn out and left in bits like this, unless
you’re really good at mix-and-match.
Imagine that? A corpse-gorilla-tree as a moldering splintering guard dog.
A fuzzy white cat with hidden tentacles for a nasty surprise. But even then
you can only do so much! Guess I should find the owner, maybe see if
they’ve got anything better.
Except that the owner’s hiding, but that’s all right. We can make another
game in this one just fine. I’m even willing to be It today!
Come out, come out wherever you are. ♥
Character: Kami-sama
Series: Saiyuki
Age: QUESTION MARK. Physically somewhere in his
twenties, emotionally a bitchy eight-year-old.
Canon: Saiyuki features a pissy chain-smoking monk, a
charismatic chain-smoking half-demon, a demon who's not quite a demon
but a spirit of sorts spat forth like a hairball from the earth, and a
polite, generally pleasant young man who is secretly capable of mass
murder. Their mission: to SAVE the WORLD, and along the way they tend
to hit...obstacles. Or, rather, obstacles have a tendency to pursue
them doggedly.
In volumes seven, eight and nine of Gensoumaden Saiyuki, enter
Kami-sama, one such obstacle. Kami-sama is first shown killing two
little kids he'd been using to gather souls for apparently no good
reason other than the fact that he was simply playing a game.
(...Later, we find out he shoves human souls in stuffed animals to
create an army of toy soldiers. But that's later, and also still not a
very good reason.) This doesn't fly well with certain members of the
Sanzo party who've got, you know, moral fiber and stuff--whereas
Kami-sama, you know, doesn't. And this is Kami-sama in a nutshell: an
amoral bastard who is most of the time twelve years old. He doesn't
have any regard for life, equating humans with toys to be played with
and discarded. He's a megalomaniac of sorts and a sadist. He's not a
nice person, but he's a boy and at the end of it naïve and
playing pretend, a kind of brat who plays with not just lives but
stuffed animals and toy horns and dice, too, and once bits and pieces
of his backstory see daylight, it's not entirely possible to place him
wholly at fault for his warped mindset: this can be attributed up a
very strange upbringing at the hands of one very strange Ukoku Sanzo.
In the end, though, his immaturity gets the better of him--the Sanzo
party prove themselves TRUE-BLUE HEROES, shoot him a lot, and
(somewhat reluctantly in very certain cases) leave him to die amid a
tragic collapsing castle scene.
...Well, if the toys are like this everywhere here then everyone would
be going west, huh? Zombie-onii-chan's got it, doesn't he? He's one of
those durable toys. He agrees, see? He says he's machine-washable and
everything!
So who's gonna give God the grand tour, mm? Procession fit for a king?
What is all this? No cars, no dragons, no noble knight to carry
his noble god on his noble bicep? No respect? Where would God take his
throne in this cesspit? A lakeside estate? Sounds okay, I
guess, but aren't lakes supposed to be clean and sparkle? If the water
glows in the dark at night then it'd probably hurt my eyes, right? And
doesn't tentacle-kun live there already? Of course he does, he said hi
and I said hi back. He has sticky hands, so I had to cut off his
fingers because he was gonna mess up my robes, and I don't think I
brought spares. No, no, no, I don't think so, zombie-onii-chan! You
really ought to find someone more gullible if you wanna rent out your
crummy lakeside property--
Huh? Oh, I used to live in the castle Sensei built before it fell
down. I had a lot of toys and I lived on top of a hill and if anyone
wanted to play with me they'd have to be tough. A lot of people
never get past the first round of the first game, it gets
boring. If I had another mountain, maybe I could make another
staircase, and this time it'd be better, like taller and longer
so anyone who got to the top to play would have to be really strong,
mm? Toys break, you know, and it's a hassle getting new ones all the
time--
...made of candy, huh?
So, zombie-onii-chan, won't you please give me that tour? Of course I
could find a mountain of candy by myself, I'm not stupid, but
making God go out there in that--revolting wilderness? That'd
just be dumb, right? And it'd make you an ungracious host to the most
important guest of all, now, wouldn't it?
...Hahaha, you know I really can't tell the direction you're pointing
in if your finger falls off!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Ahiru (Princess Tutu)
Series: Princess Tutu
Age: 13
Canon: Drosselmeyer was dead, to begin with. There is no
doubt whatever about that. This must be distinctly understood, or…. Well,
no. Actually, even if you don’t understand that, this particular story is
going to sound pretty cracktastic.
Princess Tutu is the tale of a duck who turns into a girl who turns into a
ballerina. Following the whims of the sadistic author of her story, Herr
Drosselmeyer, Ahiru is on a quest to save her friends from the fairytale
that ensnares them. Most especially, she has been charged with returning
to her Prince, Mytho, the emotions that he lost when he cut out his own
heart as part of a spell to ensnare a wicked raven. These emotions appear
both as ‘heart shards’ and as ghostly images of Mytho himself.
As a girl Ahiru is loveable and sweet, if no small part spastic. She’s
rock bottom in her ballet classes, she’s got some sort of allergic
reaction to being on time, and whenever she thinks about her beloved she
blushes, stammers, and falls all over herself. As Tutu, she is self
contained and graceful. No matter what form she is in, the important thing
to remember is that either way she’s one of those internally luminous
people.
Hello there? I don’t- is this really the trail to a summer camp?
Well, I’ve never been away from the academy before since in my case
trips to the lakeside really don’t count. I’m sure I’ll get used
to this. I just hope it won’t be a bother to have me here... But after all,
I should only be imposing for a week, or maybe two. I’ll have it by
then, for sure. That’s all the time there is between when regular
classes end and summer sessions begin. And I could never forget what I’ve
been told: a dancer can’t take too much time off! Even, no especially, a
probationary class member like me!
It’s just that this place is so different from Kinkan Town. But... I
have to remember that it’s all for Mytho-sempai. And I have to find it
again, this heart shard. This... the feeling of... U, S, T?
But how did it run so far away from the others? Someone, something must
have drawn it here. And why did it say that when I asked if it
would dance with me? I don’t know the horizontal mambo! Is that even a
step? It doesn’t sound at all like the pas de duex. More like a
fruity drink- or no, that’s mango. A poisonous snake? I bet there are a
lot of those here. There have been all kinds of noises out here in the
woods.
I shouldn’t worry. I’ll definitely find it! Because, I am... Princess
Tutu.
Camp Fuck You Die, will you dance with me?
Poll Vote!
Character: Tokitoh Minoru
Series: Wild Adapter
Age: 17
Canon: Wild Adapter is a dark story that revolves around the lives of Kubota Makoto, former youth leader of the Japanese Mafia and Tokitoh Minoru, who doesn't remember anything from his past. Kubota (who Tokitoh refers to as Kubo-chan) found him unconscious on the street one day, picked him up and took him home as if he were a stray cat; they've been living as roommates ever since. Together, they search for any possible trails or clues that may lead them to W.A., a drug that causes people to turn into animal-like monsters and which they believe is the key to Tokitoh's past. This is because Tokitoh's right hand (which he keeps hidden under a leather glove most of the time) is covered in fur and claws, and it has an amazing destructive power that lets Tokitoh do anything from crushing a PlayStation constroller during a game to yanking a signpost out of the ground.
Tokitoh is often described as blunt, insensitive, and egotistical. He thinks highly of himself and loves to be acknowledged for his merits. Terribly stubborn and with a very short temper, but also loyal and caring, Tokitoh can be very childlike at times. He takes pleasure in the small things in life, doesn't know the meaning of the word 'patience' and can be clueless when it comes to normal things (like how long it takes for a baby to be born), but he's fairly knowleadgeable in pop culture areas like manga and video games (they often decide who gets to do what housechores based on the outcome of their video game matches -- which unfortunately, Tokitoh always loses).
This is the last time I fall asleep on the subway! Seriously. I mean, it was really nice of that rotten stinkin' guy to wake me up when we got here -the least he could do after having drooled all over my shirt, ergh!- but I'm pretty sure this isn't where I was originally headed to, so I kinda need to know when the next train's gonna show up because I'm starting to get bored. Not to mention impatient.
The hell's up with this place, anyway? Never been to a summer camp before, but this looks like something out of a lame horror movie more than anything else. I just hope I don't get in trouble for ripping up a tree or two to beat up those gorillas who tried to steal my Game Boy. Ahh... same goes for the goats, the llamas and that psycho cat who tried to eat my hand. But that's what they get for messin' with this Tokitoh-sama! Next time I won't hold back!
...But holding back some might mean less mess. This is gonna be a bitch to wash off my glove, geh. I went looking for a stream and ended up finding an underwear tree. I can't believe it! Maybe if I keep looking I'll find a pants tree or a shirt tree or a pajama tree. If I could take seeds or something back with me we wouldn't have to worry about the laundry anymore!
...
Or! I could just listen to my stomach and start heading back. Like I said before, it'd be real helpful if someone'd show me the way out already. It's gettin' dark and I need to be home in case that idiot Kubo-chan decides to finally come back; I didn't cook his favorite ramen for nothing! You've got yourselves a damn special place here, but it isn't really my thing, so-- ...waitwaitwaitwaitwait what? ...I gotta be hallucinating or something, because I swear there's a freaking Moogle standing in front of me. Shit, I knew I shouldn't've eaten that four-day-old curry.
Wooo~w, so fluffy and soft.
Poll Vote!
Character: Etna
Series: Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
Age: 1470 (appears and acts 14)
Canon: Etna is a young demon, a loyal-ish vassal to the slightly inept Prince/Evil Overlord (Maou), Laharl. She was in love with the old Maou and envied his wife and son to the point of loathing; however, the old Maou's final wish was for her to protect the young prince, which she does in her own special way. She's manipulative, bossy, snarky, violent, and it would be a lie to say she doesn't have her eye on the throne just a little. But underneath all of that, she probably has a good heart.
In the game, she is generally cheerful even and especially while plotting some sort of mischief. Her favorite things to do are to make fun of the resident angel, and boss around her minions. She fancies herself the cute heroine (or occasionally sexy villainess) of a bad anime, and is prone to launching into "Previews" of the next episode that have little or nothing to do with the actually plot of the game. When it's really time to get serious, she can do so...but it's rarely time to get serious. Tilde and heart-mark abuse is canon.
Well, isn't this special~? I guess this is what happens when you "forget" to pay the dimensional gatekeeper for several weeks in a row, eh Prince? Prince? ... Laharl? Oh that's just lame! Like hell am I gunna get my subjugation on when the rest of the party is off lollygagging somewhere. If that twerp thinks I'm going to help him expand his evil empire out of the goodness of my heart, he has another think coming!
Not a shabby place you got here, Director. But there's still a few things you could learn about running a tight and productive hell. The swamp theme is fine, and I love whatever you have going on in the lake, but you might want to think about a castle of some sort, or even just a mansion. No one's gunna want to bring tributes and bribes to some office! And lady, I don't know who taught you about forming a party, but you gotta diversify, see? Zombies and gorillas are great and all, but you're not gunna subjugate squat without a well-rounded team of minions. Get some mages in there, some fighters maybe! I can see this place has plenty of potential - you just listen to Etna and we can make this an A-class underworld in no time! Now, about my nominal consulting fee... ♥
Next episode, the mysterious and powerful Etna hits the scene! Men want her, women want her too, pilots burst out into tears and ninjas spontaneously combust at the mere sight of her awesomeness! More beautiful and dramatic than two boys kissing under a cherry tree, more powerful than an eighty-seven tailed gerbil demon, and with the most awesome sound-track ever, can anyone stop her reign of terror? Find out next time! Slashy Crack Sparkle Zombie Camp: Fuck You Die X Episode 86: Campers in a pinch? Etna is the queen! You'd better be ready! ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Pellaz-har-Aralis (Pell)
Series: Wraeththu ( http://www.metrogirl.com/wcompanion/ )
Age: 18
Canon: Pellaz was a peasant. A naive, overconfident, somewhat bratty peasant, but one with a sharp mind and a good heart. He was enchanted by stories of Wraeththu, a race of not-quite men that hailed from the North, who were said to abduct innocent boys such as himself. And when an enigmatic stranger named Cal arrived on the farm, seeking shelter, Pellaz knew that the visitor was Wraeththu, and he belonged with them.
Pellaz was incepted (turned from human to Wraeththu) by Theide, the first Wraeththu. Between this and his parents' constant doting back home, he became accustomed to getting special attention. So Pellaz knew what he was. He just hadn't discovered who
he was. He and Cal travelled around Megalithia, looking for people who could help to educate Pellaz in the ways of Wraeththu, and raise him to higher levels of ability. Their journey was a literal one and a metaphorical one, as through their travels, Pellaz learned about himself.
As hard as he tried not to be, Pellaz was self-centered. And he didn't often follow rules. He believed in equality, he talked to human women, he asked forbidden questions, and he was very much in love with Cal. It was the latter of that list got him in trouble. Theide had plans for Pellaz that didn't involve Cal, so he had Pell shot and killed... but that's the beginning of another story.
(Permission granted for the Cal references.)
...this is not Immanion.
Excuse me. My name is Pellaz, I hail from Saltrock, and I am not sure why I'm here. Honestly, I believe I am lost. The last thing I remember is a woman, and a gun, and I realize that isn't terribly precise, but I need to return to that place. Cal is there, and he wouldn't have left without me; he must be waiting. Unless, perhaps, you have seen him? He's taller than me, with blond hair, and he had three horses with him.
You haven't seen him? In that case, I must look for him myself. Would you know if there is a healer present? My he----
...I'm all for herbal remedies, but enchanting your trees to attend to patients goes a bit too far. And I believe your spell has gone wrong somehow, as this does not appear to be a friendly tree. Or perhaps it's too friendly a tree. Either way, I'd advise you send someone to take care of it. Now, I will ask again, is there a healer? One without roots? My head is killing me and I need to find Cal.
Are you sure you haven't seen anyone with horses? Well. Maybe you were distracted by the sentient trees growing in your forest, hmm? Are they even really trees? Something is wrong about this place, can you feel it? The land, the plants, it's unnatural. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but for all I know, this is another ambush, and you've done something terrible to Cal. He is here, I can feel it. You are lying to me.
I demand you tell me where we are. There is no such green in the desert, so we must have traveled, and I'm assuming this place has a name. Everything is named, no matter how small.
...now you are mocking me, and I do not appreciate it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Tendo Akane
Series: Ranma 1/2 (manga) The specific article on Akane is here
Age: 17
Canon: Ranma 1/2 is the story of Ranma, a martial artist who turns into a girl when splashed with cold water, and his crazy hijinks and numerous fiancees. Akane is Ranma's "uncute" fiancee, and the two have a very...uh, physical relationship. In other words, Akane demonstrates her proficiency with throwing heavy objects whenever Ranma sticks his foot in his mouth (or even when he doesn't).
The best description of Akane is from the first volume; as Kasumi, her elder sister says, "Akane's really a very sweet girl. She's just a violent maniac." Akane is prone to mood swings and absolutely despises "perverts," since she's often the subject of unwanted attention from boys (She’s kidnapped often and has to be saved by Ranma, something her martial artist’s ego just can’t stand), and won't hesitate to hit any boy she feels is behaving inappropriately. However, Akane is also very nice and friendly (if a bit dense at times), always ready to help anyone who needs it. Also, despite being a tomboy and failing badly at all things domestic (especially cooking), she's still a romantic girl at heart, and cares a lot for Ranma.
All in all, Akane is very kind and caring...as long as you don't piss her off.
Argh, this is so stupid! I don't see why I have to come here to look for Ranma, since this training trip was his own idea and he obviously didn't want anyone tagging along and "slowing him down." Besides, it's not like I care about the jerk, so this is just a waste of my time! I wouldn't be here if Daddy and the rest hadn't said I should follow him "because he's your fiance, Akane!" "It's good practice for when you two are married!" Well, so far I haven't gotten practice in anything but beating up these perverted purple gorillas that keep trying to make me their queen. Just because that insensitive jerk says I'm "as strong as a gorilla" all the time doesn't mean I am one, so back off!
But I thought fine, as long as I'm here I might as well make the best of it. Even though they aren't very strong, I can always train with the gorillas, and I can practice my cooking while I camp out! I mean, all the vegetation here glows, so that means it's extra healthy, right? That's a perfectly logical conclusion, so I don't get why none of the bunnies or birds I've seen wanted to try my soup. I'm sure it's safe, but they refused to even get near it. I'll show them though; just you wait, I'll make the best-tasting soup this side of the woods!
Oh, and I still need to look for Ranma, I guess. He's probably off having a great time without the rest of us, the jerk. I hope he's all right I don't know where he'd be, but I'll ask around if I meet anyone else-like that man over there! Hello, mister? Have you seen a boy with a pigtail wearing a red shirt around here? He likes to pick fights, and you can probably find him by following the trail of property damage but-hey, what do you think you're doing, you pervert?! Get away from me! If you try biting me again, you'll regret it! I'm warning you...
Take that! And that!
...hmph, back again? I can't believe you're actually trying something, even after I knocked your fake arm off! I don't even need both hands to take care of a disgusting pervert like you-there, now you can't stand up and try to chase me anymore, so just give up and leave me alone, okay?
...
...are you trying to bite my kneecaps?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lyra Belacqua, a.k.a. Lyra Silvertongue
Series: His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman
Age: 12
Canon: In a universe very much like ours, an organization called the General Oblation Board (better known as the "Gobblers") was formed under the Church and dedicated to eliminating a feared elementary particle called Dust... through research that involved kidnapping masses of children and subjecting them to a process more horrific than most could ever imagine. Lyra is a girl who was daring and resourceful enough to escape the Gobblers, but not before she saw their activities for herself.
Equipped with the alethiometer, a compass-like instrument that tells her the truth about any question she asks it (although the answers are sometimes vague or arbitrary), Lyra travels through universes determined to find the source of Dust before the Church does. Strong-willed, passionate, and proud, her greatest skill is her ability to tell lies convincingly without batting an eyelash, sometimes even using them to trick her audience into doing what she wants. But for all her cleverness, she is in many ways still a normal, naive child.
She has two companions on her journey. The first is her daemon Pantalaimon, or Pan for short, who is the physical manifestation of Lyra's own soul. Like the daemons of all children, he can change his appearance to the shape of any animal. The second is Will, a boy her age whom she meets shortly after leaving her own universe and who quickly becomes her most trusted friend. Lyra is being apped from just before the end of the second book, when she is mysteriously separated from him.
I'm sorry to interrupt you while you're singing so beautifully outside my cabin this morning, sir, but I've got to tell you how moved I am by your plea for food. I can only imagine how awful it must be, when the only thing you're able to eat is brains and everyone around you is selfish enough to keep all of theirs inside their own head! So please, let me help you. I was talking yesterday to some gorillas like the ones over there -- where I come from, all humans have to be fluent in Gorillese -- and they said they'd be more than happy to crush some human skulls to get brains for you, if only you'd be polite and ask them yourself. But since they don't speak Zombian, you have to mime it to them, see -- act like you're crushing your own skull, like this -- and they'll know what you mean. Won't you go try it? ... Yeah, like that!
... That took care of him, Pan. Now stop worrying so much! I told you already, this place is safe. I know it looks suspicious, all these kids being gathered here like this by some Director, but the alethiometer said she only wants us to find out who killed her fiancé. She en't with the Gobblers or the Church at all. She's just too scared to investigate the murder herself, I bet, and she doesn't want to go to the police because they'd suspect she done it, like they always do with husbands and wives when one of 'em gets killed.
'Course it's still not right for her to keep us here like slaves! But if all she wants from us is the mystery solved, I know we can get out soon and find Will. I just need to figure out the right questions to ask the alethiometer. I already asked outright who killed him, and all it said was "a murderer," so I got to be more specific. Now I'm asking what they look like...
"Like the fiancé's murderer"?
Pan... I think we might be here a bit longer than I thought.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kami-sama
Series: Gensoumaden Saiyuki
Age: 20 (unofficially, but it’s implied that he’s a few years younger
than Genjo Sanzo.)
Canon: Kami-sama is quite the oddball, even compared to the other
weirdoes that the Sanzo-ikkou deal with on their long journey Westward. His
sense of right and wrong is completely skewed-he lives on the principle his
master taught him, that ‘human lives are all just toys in the hands of God.’
As he’s since taken on God’s title, well…you can see how this is going.
He enjoys playing games with people-usually cruel games that involve life,
death and/or sanity, depending on his mood. He’s coy, teasing, selfish and
arrogant, and his mannerisms are eerily childish. When angered or denied
what he wants, he (appropriately) acts like a spoiled brat having a temper
tantrum. This is not as funny as it might sound: he has several deadly
magical techniques to use on offenders, including prayer beads that act like
bullets and an army of killer toys made from souls.
On a deeper level, despite how naïve he often seems, he knows he’s actually
a puppet set to kill the Sanzo-ikkou. He’s so devoted to his master that
he’s quite willing to play this particular ‘game’ until he wins, or (as
eventually happens) is killed.
How rude! Someone’s made new rules in the middle of the game, and didn’t
even say anything. I should go scold them-that’s cheating, and cheaters
never win-but I like these better. They’re ever so much more
interesting than the old ones were.
Still, maybe I’ll find them later, you know? After we’ve finished playing.
Or before, even! After all, if they can do things to the competition, then
I can too. It’s only fair.
And at least they’ve sent some things along, because all these woods?
Aren’t the part of the rules I like. All green and samey and boring,
boring, boring-needs redecoration. More bright, happy colours. Red would
work. Hello!
You’re Braiiiiiiins, you’re Braiiiiiiiiiiiins and he’s Braiins? Man, the
owner here has no imagination at all. Why don’t I play with you for
awhile, instead? I think I’ll call you Mr. Moldy-Green. And she’ll be Miss
One-Arm, because girls can play too, I’m not that picky! And you can be Mr.
Wormy Eyesocket. And-ohoh?
I guess Mr. Moldy-Green doesn’t like his name much! Tell you what: if you
win, Mr. Moldy-Green, then you can be Mr. Eyesocket. Mr. Eyesocket’s my
favorite name. But it’s only for the one who wins, understand?
…what? Broken already?
Maa~aa, Sensei never did say what you do with the toys that have no souls.
They’re no fun after awhile. Kind of flimsy, you know? It’s not good,
letting your playthings get all worn out and left in bits like this, unless
you’re really good at mix-and-match.
Imagine that? A corpse-gorilla-tree as a moldering splintering guard dog.
A fuzzy white cat with hidden tentacles for a nasty surprise. But even then
you can only do so much! Guess I should find the owner, maybe see if
they’ve got anything better.
Except that the owner’s hiding, but that’s all right. We can make another
game in this one just fine. I’m even willing to be It today!
Come out, come out wherever you are. ♥
Character: Kami-sama
Series: Saiyuki
Age: QUESTION MARK. Physically somewhere in his
twenties, emotionally a bitchy eight-year-old.
Canon: Saiyuki features a pissy chain-smoking monk, a
charismatic chain-smoking half-demon, a demon who's not quite a demon
but a spirit of sorts spat forth like a hairball from the earth, and a
polite, generally pleasant young man who is secretly capable of mass
murder. Their mission: to SAVE the WORLD, and along the way they tend
to hit...obstacles. Or, rather, obstacles have a tendency to pursue
them doggedly.
In volumes seven, eight and nine of Gensoumaden Saiyuki, enter
Kami-sama, one such obstacle. Kami-sama is first shown killing two
little kids he'd been using to gather souls for apparently no good
reason other than the fact that he was simply playing a game.
(...Later, we find out he shoves human souls in stuffed animals to
create an army of toy soldiers. But that's later, and also still not a
very good reason.) This doesn't fly well with certain members of the
Sanzo party who've got, you know, moral fiber and stuff--whereas
Kami-sama, you know, doesn't. And this is Kami-sama in a nutshell: an
amoral bastard who is most of the time twelve years old. He doesn't
have any regard for life, equating humans with toys to be played with
and discarded. He's a megalomaniac of sorts and a sadist. He's not a
nice person, but he's a boy and at the end of it naïve and
playing pretend, a kind of brat who plays with not just lives but
stuffed animals and toy horns and dice, too, and once bits and pieces
of his backstory see daylight, it's not entirely possible to place him
wholly at fault for his warped mindset: this can be attributed up a
very strange upbringing at the hands of one very strange Ukoku Sanzo.
In the end, though, his immaturity gets the better of him--the Sanzo
party prove themselves TRUE-BLUE HEROES, shoot him a lot, and
(somewhat reluctantly in very certain cases) leave him to die amid a
tragic collapsing castle scene.
...Well, if the toys are like this everywhere here then everyone would
be going west, huh? Zombie-onii-chan's got it, doesn't he? He's one of
those durable toys. He agrees, see? He says he's machine-washable and
everything!
So who's gonna give God the grand tour, mm? Procession fit for a king?
What is all this? No cars, no dragons, no noble knight to carry
his noble god on his noble bicep? No respect? Where would God take his
throne in this cesspit? A lakeside estate? Sounds okay, I
guess, but aren't lakes supposed to be clean and sparkle? If the water
glows in the dark at night then it'd probably hurt my eyes, right? And
doesn't tentacle-kun live there already? Of course he does, he said hi
and I said hi back. He has sticky hands, so I had to cut off his
fingers because he was gonna mess up my robes, and I don't think I
brought spares. No, no, no, I don't think so, zombie-onii-chan! You
really ought to find someone more gullible if you wanna rent out your
crummy lakeside property--
Huh? Oh, I used to live in the castle Sensei built before it fell
down. I had a lot of toys and I lived on top of a hill and if anyone
wanted to play with me they'd have to be tough. A lot of people
never get past the first round of the first game, it gets
boring. If I had another mountain, maybe I could make another
staircase, and this time it'd be better, like taller and longer
so anyone who got to the top to play would have to be really strong,
mm? Toys break, you know, and it's a hassle getting new ones all the
time--
...made of candy, huh?
So, zombie-onii-chan, won't you please give me that tour? Of course I
could find a mountain of candy by myself, I'm not stupid, but
making God go out there in that--revolting wilderness? That'd
just be dumb, right? And it'd make you an ungracious host to the most
important guest of all, now, wouldn't it?
...Hahaha, you know I really can't tell the direction you're pointing
in if your finger falls off!
Poll Vote!