(no subject)
Second to last round of voting!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: George Sands
Series: Being Human
Character Age: 28
Counselor Job Normality Teacher
Canon: In real life, all people want to be is extraordinary, to be superhuman. However, there are three individuals who would do anything to fall under normal. Mitchell the vampire, Annie the ghost, and George the werewolf struggle to maintain a life of harmony with the human race while their supernatural natures and secretive vampiric societies seek to destroy them.
George is the one who feels he's been cursed for life. Forced to undergo a painful transformation every full moon, George continues to separate his human half and monster half in denial. Prone to stuttering, flailing and hysterics, George is not the most sociable person out there, often talking neurotically when he's nervous and flustered. Nevertheless, George is kind-hearted and a strong supporter of humanity and all their virtues. He's incredibly smart with an IQ of 156 and nerves of steel when his priorities are in order. You don't want to mess with this timid man when it's close to the full moon or he might think you're tasty.
Sample Post:
No, no, no, no, no!
That isn't--How could you possibly think you can live normal lives like that? I mean, your skin is peeling off. Yes, I understand the skin peeling is a natural process but not when it's peeling to reveal a-a layer of lime green. I mean, how could you even imagine blending in with people like that. Oh wait, you can't. You're zombies and this is all you can ever amount to. That's--That's just perfect. How can anyone expect me to help a bunch of skin-peeling lime-green--yes the lime green part is important! You don't see humans walking around with lime green skin. You--You just don't, all right? You see people walking around in pink, yes, our skin--I mean their skin is pink. Like mine. Yes I know my skin isn't pink all the time. It's a minor detail! God, will you all just listen all right? I am the authority figure here so put those ears back on and pay attention to what I have to say! ...There, that's much better. And please, please, please, don't take those ears off!
Right, now that we know where we stand, it's time to begin our lesson. My name is George Sands and like I said earlier, I'm your new Normality Teacher. Your old one retired suddenly when he discovered he had decompositionitis. You should keep him in your thoughts and hope he recovers soon. Very, very soon. Because the sooner he recovers, the sooner I can leave and go home to my nice, normal life. Yes, I have a nice, normal life! Why are you snickering? I--I demand you stop that right this instant! Show some respect to your teacher! Without me, you're doomed to--to roam around the swamp in failure! Yes, that's exactly right. So whether you like me or not, you need me. It's good to be in power for once! I imagine this is what secondary school teachers feel. I think I like it, yes, I like it very much.
Now, back to the original topic, you need to blend in with the human race. To do that, you need to understand how they think, how they feel. Trust me, even normal people have trouble understanding each other. If it was that simple, dating sites wouldn't exist. So! The first thing you need to do is disguise yourself. Get lots of shirts and scarves and probably a whole lot of make-up. No, I don't know how you're going to get make-up, do I look like a teenage girl to you? No, wait, don't answer that, I have a bad feeling you might be completely serious and that would just make me feel worse. Anyway, the point is, you need it if you ever want to be closer to humans. That's what you really want, isn't it, more than anything? For human beings to accept you for what you are and to live normal lives. Well, you can do it, if you listen to what I say. I'll do whatever I can, I promise. So you can tell me everything.
... Brains. You're doing this for brains. I knew I should have watched more horror films.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Anna "Annie" Clare Sawyer
Series: Being Human
Age: 22
Job: Ghost Dustbuster
Canon: Being Human is the extraordinary story of a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who desire nothing more than to be normal people with normal social lives. In order to do that, this unusual group of friends lives together in an attempt to cling to their own humanity as they struggle with their particular conditions and the dangers of a vampiric plot of world domination.
The insecure ghost is Annie, who haunts the house she mysteriously died in. Love-struck and lively, Annie lost everything at the happiest moment of her life. Unlike the classic ghost stereotype, supernatural beings can see her as a normal human being, and depending on her mood, so can anyone else. Rather chatty, kind, emotional and sensitive to others, she can also be determined and more strong-willed than she appears to be. Don't be fooled by her feminine appearance, sense of humor and obsession with cleaning or making tea, because [she can use her telekinesis to kick anyone's butt if necessary.]
Note: Annie is being taken from after season one but before season two.
Sample Post:
Gosh, I still can't believe I am doing this. Me, a ghost, getting a job! Who would've thought it could be possible? Not me, for sure.
See, I thought that after you . . . Well, you know, die, there are certain things you've got to give up no matter how hard you might miss them. Like food or having kids, 'cause you've been taken away from any opportunity a living person has always taken for granted. And like, a ghost can't eat a boo-logna sandwich and I am dead sure there're not dayscare centers for baby ghosts anywhere, no matter what the jokes might say. These are only part of the usual things you think about once you come to terms to the fact you've died, that you're still here, but not quite alive at the same time. Stuck in a world where it's not possible for people like us, dead people, to get jobs or anything of the sort. Because we can't have a future. It's not like we're werewolves or even vampires, 'cause they've still got a chance. Ghosts and zombies, like you all, are different. Although I've got to say I'm rather happy I am not a zombie. It is nothing personal, really, but going after brains? It's not something I would want to do in my spare time for sure, and I rather like my own skill set. Besides, I don't wanna look like someone who ran away from a low-budget horror movie either.
And now I'm getting sidetracked. What I was saying? Oh yeah, I've never once thought about going some place far away from home and trying something like this, but I'm not exactly complaining. I mean, I am sure I can do this job, I've spent the last couple of years taking care of the house I died in after all. But this place is big! Much bigger than I expected, and this is where you all come in. Cause I'm gonna need all the help I can get, and it could benefit you all as well. What's better than finding a new and important reason to be here? Think about it. Aren't you tired of wandering around and yelling "braaaains" like drones wherever you go? You can be more than that, a lot better than that. Just 'cause your skin is peeling off and you lose your limbs faster than most people lose their keys does not mean you can't find some sort of normality. Get clean. You know what I mean? Death is not the end, sometimes it's just the beginning, and I'm quite sure there's a high chance you'd be accepted if you only tried to stop eating everyone's brains.
I've even got the perfect theme song for us that you should practice to replace that ridiculous yelling with, and trust me, it is a lot better than what you're doing. It would get us the attention we need as well. Also, as people say, you can see through a liar, so I'm certainly not one.
Anyway, bad jokes aside, this is what you should do from now on. Instead of yelling "brains," when I say "who you gonna call" you should just yell "GHOST DUSTBUSTER!"
Poll Vote!
Character Name: John Mitchell
Series: Being Human
Character Age: Around 120, appears in his mid-20s
Job: Blood Addicts Anonymous Counselor
Canon: A vampire called Mitchell and a werewolf called George rent a house together in Bristol with the intention of trying to live amongst humanity as normally as they can. They discover that the house is haunted but their supernatural powers allow them to see the ghost, Annie, and the three become fast friends. Being Human follows their lives as they work through their inner (and sometimes outer) demons and discover whether it's even possible for them to live successfully alongside humans.
Handsome, funny and effortlessly cool, Mitchell is something of a celebrity amongst the local vampire community. Once he was one of their most fearsome killers, but these days he's actually a pretty nice guy who treats blood as an unwelcome addiction and abstains from it entirely. An idealist at heart, Mitchell is sometimes given to dramatic speeches and is always looking for ways to reconcile his pride in vampire society with his newly found morality. His friendship with his housemates keeps him grounded and helps him stand against the temptation to return to his former bloodthirsty ways.
Note: Mitchell is taken from the time between seasons one and two.
Sample Post:
My name is John Mitchell, and I am a vampire. I have lived for over a hundred years. I've seen the rise and fall of nations, technology from the first powered flight to the first moon landing and I've fought in two world wars. I know, first hand, the extent of the things humanity is capable of. I also count among my friends a ghost and a werewolf. I've been living in the world of monsters under the bed for a very long time now. So you'd think that if zombies really existed, whether created by humans or whatever made the rest of us, I'd've heard something about it before now. But sure enough, I'd barely even got here when I found myself surrounded by decomposing bodies practically climbing over each other for the chance to eat my brains. If this was in the job description, I must have missed some seriously important small print.
And speaking of this job: I know there are cultural differences between us and the American vampire community, but this is taking embracing stereotypes to a whole new level. We moved on from the bad horror movie stage... actually, we didn't even go through a bad horror movie stage. In any case, if you're serious about giving up blood, and you've decided it has to be here, you're going to have to do some work on the place. Getting off blood is anything but easy, you're going to have to change your whole attitude towards what you are and where you stand in regards to humanity. And as much as I'm all for keeping old traditions alive, this place is just waiting for a class full of teenagers to wander in and be picked off one by one. The whole atmosphere is creepy. And "creepy" is not going to help your chances of going clean.
So the zombies are the first things that have to go. No complaints, there's enough of the living dead around here without them around too. Throw them in the lake if you have to, it looks like it should be able to dissolve a few zombies. We'd better clean the lake up too in time, although it looks more James Bond than Night of the Living Dead to me. I didn't think radioactive lakes were a trope in horror movies, but- was that a tentacle? Did you actually put a lake monster in the lake? Look, even back home some of us have trouble finding new ways to fill eternity, but I think I can safely say that you American vampires have too much time on your hands.
Poll Vote!
Character: Todoroki
Series: Kamen Rider Hibiki
Age: 28
Job: Rocking Spiritual Cleanser of Camp
Canon: In Kamen Rider Hibiki, humans capable of transforming through hard training into beings known as Oni fight an ancient battle against demons known as Makamou. Defeating Makamou is only possible using weapons that produce 'pure sound' which range from a taiko drum to trumpets to guitars. The heart of the story rests among its characters and their relations with each other and ultimately is not about the fighting. Relationships between an Oni and the person he is training to become an Oni - known as a disciple - are greatly emphasized. Out of the three Oni that Kamen Rider Hibiki mainly features, Todoroki is the second oldest, but also the newest. An Oni that is proficient in the use of string weapons, Todoroki wields a blade that can be turned into a guitar.
Todoroki became a fully-independent Oni when his master unexpectedly retired due to health issues. Shocked by the change, it took Todoroki a few battles to settle into his own style of fighting and kick some demon butt. Perhaps the most childish out of all the Oni, he can become rather overenthusiastic in everyday occurrences and his battling - like psyching himself up for a fight with chest beating and hollering. With a tendency to be clumsy in his mannerisms - words and sometimes even actions - Todoroki can cause problems though he means well. From time to time, he turns to the more experienced Oni to gain guidance and knowledge. He will always stand by his friends, never doubting them. He also has an intelligence problem as in he lacks a lot of it. So yeah, your average rock is probably smarter than Todoroki.
Sample Entry:
Zombie-san! Sorry, I'm late! That was a long trip! What a surprise, coming all the way out here was so sudden. No, I wasn't the only choice! Did someone tell you my methods are unorthodox. I promise they're fine. Maybe they are a little different, but everyone has their own style. I've already taking care of a few Makamou that I found on my way in - right, those purple, furry ones. I'll do research later to figure out their type, but they were weak enough to the strings. Don't worry about it! Funny thing is they must have thought my butt was my weak spot because they kept trying to attack it. Not that it was a problem. I've been trained to keep my presence of mind!
You say the biggest Makamou is by the lake ... let's go to it! Maybe you should lead because I might have lost the map when I fought earlier. Sorry, I shouldn't have done that! I promise I'll get a new map later. It'll be important if I'm going to find everything in the area - and this is the heart of Camp, is it? Looks pretty beat up! If you don't take care of things - wait, no. Ah, I screwed that up. It has to be hard work maintaining the buildings when you're plagued with troubles. I'll defeat all of them and purify the area, I promise!
No, we'll move on. I should say why I was really late. No, it wasn't the fight I had or losing the map but I think it's fairly important! I found a tree on my way here. I mean, not a normal tree! This one was different. I think you might have a pervert living in Camp because it was covered - well, it was covered ... maybe you should come closer. Yeah, like that! It was covered in ... ladies' underwear. I took care of everything on the tree, but I thought you should know about it! Everything's in my bag here - took awhile to get all of it down - and I thought you could return it or use it to help catch the culprit!
Hey! No, I don't think you should - why did you pull that out? I mean, you probably recognize it, don't you? That's a bunch of pink lace for a pan - your hat. Does that really belong on your head, Zombie-san? It still looks like underwear and not a hat to me. But right, I don't know much about fashion! And, ah, this is the place, isn't it? If you take the bag and I'll prepare myself - is the Makamou causing the lake to glow green like that? Maybe it's a poisonous one ... with a lot of tentacles. Another Makamou I don't know! You do? This is a Marcy? The Marcy. Sounds tough! But don't worry, Zombie-san. One second - OSSU! HAHA -AAAAAH! HAAAA! HA! HA! SAAAAA!
Now I'm ready. Don't worry! I wasn't beating myself up with the slapping and chest pounding. It's my number one breathing relaxation exercise! Helps energize me for the fight! Now your Rocking Spiritual Cleanser will get to work. I'm off!
Poll Vote!
Character: Wigglytuff
Series: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of the Sky
Character Age: ...Older! Is an adult.
Job: Guildmaster of the CFUD Branch of the Wilderness Exploration Guild
Canon: In a world ruled by Pokemon, the proper flow of time has slowly begun to deteriorate. The conditions worsen daily, and the steady increase of outlaws and Pokemon driven mad by their terror certainly aren't helping things any. But really, who has time to worry about all that?! You've got your own problems to deal with! Turned into a Pokemon with no memory other than your name and the fact that you were once human, you're thrown headfirst into an adventure in a strange land with nothing to go on and nowhere to start. And what's worse? Instead of letting you search this world to your heart's content, you have to GET A JOB. Fortunately your coworkers at the guild are, for the most part, heartwarmingly friendly, especially Guildmaster Wigglytuff.
Wigglytuff is the epitome of happiness and optimism. Just about everyone he meets will quickly be labeled as his "friendly friend" and remain as such regardless of their opinion on the matter. Quite derpy and very, very silly, he is often branded as simply "special" by those who speak of him. Wigglytuff is also widely known for his fierce temper, so much so that anyone who has experienced it at its full capacity is quite literally traumatized for life by it. As this might suggest, he can come off as incredibly childish and naive, but anyone who has been around him long enough certainly knows better! He's equally well known for his exploration prowess, rigorous training regimen, and the occasional deviation from his airheaded ways in order to say or do something ~mysteriously cool~. He's the Genius Wigglytuff after all, so he's got to live up to that title every once and awhile!
Sample Entry:
Good morning, everyone! ♪ To rabbits, gorillas, and zombies one and all, welcome to another day of hard work at the guild! ♪ I hope you've been keeping up with your duties while we were gone. Campers and counselors alike are always getting into all sorts of trouble here, and it's up to you to make sure they stay safe! Keep in mind how important your job is and how much Seefud needs every single one of you in order to be the best camp it can be! Yoom... tah! ♪
That said, I would like to congratulate the chosen recruits on another successful exploration! To reiterate, we went on a week-long trip to the legendary Seefud Volcano, where it was rumored that a treasure of untold beauty and value lay hidden! And what a trip it was! ♪ Steam burst from below as boiling magma flowed from cracky rock walls that might fall apart at any moment, and it got so hot you thought your flesh might melt right off your bones!
But, I'm glad everyone held together until the end! Because the treasure of Seefud's volcano... That secret, upclose view of the eruption in the searing heat... Wasn't that awe inspiring view worth it? Something like that... is amazingly cool! ♪ I recommend that you all travel out to see it sometime! ♪ Of course I won't tell you the way... Isn't it your job as explorers in training to figure out how to get there yourselves? Ha ha ha! ♪ If you work hard at it, the time when you reach your goal always feels a hundred times better! So... good luck with that! ♪
Now, on the return trip I'd been hearing whispers and chattings about a certain Team Zombie Nation that got wiped out two steps into the dungeon, then turned and fled. And what's worse- the whispers and chattings weren't of sadness and worry, but of meanness and spite! Belittling and making fun of our fellow explorers? Now, that's just no good! It's fun to tease our teammates and have a good time, but all this groaning and moaning is hurtful, and I won't have any more of it! I think you all owe your friends an apology. ♪
Team Zombie Nation, I understand how you feel. You must be so mad at yourself, maybe thinking "Where was my brain in an important moment like that!?" But... that's okay! Everyone fails sometimes! ♪ And it's only through failing... that you learn how to succeed! ♪ So cheer up! ♪ Remember, both of you are important comrades in training, and we always, always look out for each other. I'm sure your friends have already forgiven you for getting scared, and can't wait to go exploring with you again! So get out there, work hard on your training, and let's make this another great day! ♪
Poll Vote!
Character Lucifer Morningstar
Series The Sandman / Lucifer [Wikipedia]
Character Age Younger than God, older than a lot of everything else.
Job Lounge Pianist
Canon: First, there was Yahweh’s creation. And then there were Yahweh’s two sons, Michael and Lucifer, who provided the power and will to shape the world. And Yahweh saw that it was good. Except Lucifer was not so convinced, there was a war, and a whole bunch of Falling and then Hell opened for business. Lucifer reigned in Hell for a really long time, until he decided to lock up shop and retire. More or less. One does not simply retire from being the Lightbringer, Morning Star, Devil, etcetera. Heaven makes him an offer, and he wouldn’t be Lucifer if he didn’t take it.
In some ways, Lucifer is exactly how you would imagine him. He is smooth talking, condescending, and knows the punch line to every cosmic joke. Perhaps unexpectedly, he does not have horns, does not deal in temptation (strictly speaking, as he never made anyone do anything) and does not speak in Middle, Old, or Ancient English. Like every businessman, he has adapted to the times and become more modern. Lucifer has a particular brand of humour as well, especially surrounding his own, and his Father’s, mythology. You could also say that he’s aware of his own assholery, and doesn’t give a damn. Beyond that? Well, they do say that Hell gets all the best musicians, and he can play a mean piano.
Note: "Laissez les bon têtes vont tomber" translates to "Let the good heads roll"
Sample Post
I did not come with a desire to trespass. Really, I came with very little in terms of desire. In fact, of all the places which cater to desire, I am sure there are those which would be far happier to hold my presence, but I have time to kill. Lifetimes to kill, even, which brings us back to the first point. Ah, the hospitality of Louisiana and the undead all in one nice, neat little package. In return I could only offer my own warm greeting. Laissez les bon têtes vont tomber, so to speak. Oh, I’m even here in season. Wonderful. Though it seems the spirit of restraint is only here in that, spirit.
Dwelling in the past is not my style. Nor, really, should it be yours, as there is a keen difference between remembering and being pathetic. The same difference that there is between learning and simple imitation. I don’t have the time or patience to indulge you. Yes, yes, you as a general whole. Public announcements seem so. . . dramatic, but drama does suit drama and "Camp Fuck You Die" is a name of spectacle.
Preemptively, then, I am not your Satan, or your devil. If you wish to complain on the current state of affairs, I've heard that a priest and a box will do quite nicely in placating your anxieties. Faith is for everyone, but particularly the meek, worried and disgruntled. I am not here to tempt you or to interfere in your silly little apocalyptic games, and I am most definitely not here for your souls. Perhaps, if you're that desperate to give them away, try Ebay. You may find it difficult to show proof of existence, but not everyone on the internet reads the fine print.
I believe this brings us to the conclusion of this matter. I, Lucifer Morningstar, have been offered a job by your Elizabeth Sayre. It is safe to say that I will not resign from this position under any terms, unless of course you wish to make me a substantially larger offer.
And now, I'm sure you've all been waiting for it. I'll begin tonight's mood music. The last song in the set will undoubtedly be "Both Sides Now", but it seems appropriate to begin with "When You Wish Upon A Star" in three piano variations. Please, enjoy.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: George Sands
Series: Being Human
Character Age: 28
Counselor Job Normality Teacher
Canon: In real life, all people want to be is extraordinary, to be superhuman. However, there are three individuals who would do anything to fall under normal. Mitchell the vampire, Annie the ghost, and George the werewolf struggle to maintain a life of harmony with the human race while their supernatural natures and secretive vampiric societies seek to destroy them.
George is the one who feels he's been cursed for life. Forced to undergo a painful transformation every full moon, George continues to separate his human half and monster half in denial. Prone to stuttering, flailing and hysterics, George is not the most sociable person out there, often talking neurotically when he's nervous and flustered. Nevertheless, George is kind-hearted and a strong supporter of humanity and all their virtues. He's incredibly smart with an IQ of 156 and nerves of steel when his priorities are in order. You don't want to mess with this timid man when it's close to the full moon or he might think you're tasty.
Sample Post:
No, no, no, no, no!
That isn't--How could you possibly think you can live normal lives like that? I mean, your skin is peeling off. Yes, I understand the skin peeling is a natural process but not when it's peeling to reveal a-a layer of lime green. I mean, how could you even imagine blending in with people like that. Oh wait, you can't. You're zombies and this is all you can ever amount to. That's--That's just perfect. How can anyone expect me to help a bunch of skin-peeling lime-green--yes the lime green part is important! You don't see humans walking around with lime green skin. You--You just don't, all right? You see people walking around in pink, yes, our skin--I mean their skin is pink. Like mine. Yes I know my skin isn't pink all the time. It's a minor detail! God, will you all just listen all right? I am the authority figure here so put those ears back on and pay attention to what I have to say! ...There, that's much better. And please, please, please, don't take those ears off!
Right, now that we know where we stand, it's time to begin our lesson. My name is George Sands and like I said earlier, I'm your new Normality Teacher. Your old one retired suddenly when he discovered he had decompositionitis. You should keep him in your thoughts and hope he recovers soon. Very, very soon. Because the sooner he recovers, the sooner I can leave and go home to my nice, normal life. Yes, I have a nice, normal life! Why are you snickering? I--I demand you stop that right this instant! Show some respect to your teacher! Without me, you're doomed to--to roam around the swamp in failure! Yes, that's exactly right. So whether you like me or not, you need me. It's good to be in power for once! I imagine this is what secondary school teachers feel. I think I like it, yes, I like it very much.
Now, back to the original topic, you need to blend in with the human race. To do that, you need to understand how they think, how they feel. Trust me, even normal people have trouble understanding each other. If it was that simple, dating sites wouldn't exist. So! The first thing you need to do is disguise yourself. Get lots of shirts and scarves and probably a whole lot of make-up. No, I don't know how you're going to get make-up, do I look like a teenage girl to you? No, wait, don't answer that, I have a bad feeling you might be completely serious and that would just make me feel worse. Anyway, the point is, you need it if you ever want to be closer to humans. That's what you really want, isn't it, more than anything? For human beings to accept you for what you are and to live normal lives. Well, you can do it, if you listen to what I say. I'll do whatever I can, I promise. So you can tell me everything.
... Brains. You're doing this for brains. I knew I should have watched more horror films.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Anna "Annie" Clare Sawyer
Series: Being Human
Age: 22
Job: Ghost Dustbuster
Canon: Being Human is the extraordinary story of a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who desire nothing more than to be normal people with normal social lives. In order to do that, this unusual group of friends lives together in an attempt to cling to their own humanity as they struggle with their particular conditions and the dangers of a vampiric plot of world domination.
The insecure ghost is Annie, who haunts the house she mysteriously died in. Love-struck and lively, Annie lost everything at the happiest moment of her life. Unlike the classic ghost stereotype, supernatural beings can see her as a normal human being, and depending on her mood, so can anyone else. Rather chatty, kind, emotional and sensitive to others, she can also be determined and more strong-willed than she appears to be. Don't be fooled by her feminine appearance, sense of humor and obsession with cleaning or making tea, because [she can use her telekinesis to kick anyone's butt if necessary.]
Note: Annie is being taken from after season one but before season two.
Sample Post:
Gosh, I still can't believe I am doing this. Me, a ghost, getting a job! Who would've thought it could be possible? Not me, for sure.
See, I thought that after you . . . Well, you know, die, there are certain things you've got to give up no matter how hard you might miss them. Like food or having kids, 'cause you've been taken away from any opportunity a living person has always taken for granted. And like, a ghost can't eat a boo-logna sandwich and I am dead sure there're not dayscare centers for baby ghosts anywhere, no matter what the jokes might say. These are only part of the usual things you think about once you come to terms to the fact you've died, that you're still here, but not quite alive at the same time. Stuck in a world where it's not possible for people like us, dead people, to get jobs or anything of the sort. Because we can't have a future. It's not like we're werewolves or even vampires, 'cause they've still got a chance. Ghosts and zombies, like you all, are different. Although I've got to say I'm rather happy I am not a zombie. It is nothing personal, really, but going after brains? It's not something I would want to do in my spare time for sure, and I rather like my own skill set. Besides, I don't wanna look like someone who ran away from a low-budget horror movie either.
And now I'm getting sidetracked. What I was saying? Oh yeah, I've never once thought about going some place far away from home and trying something like this, but I'm not exactly complaining. I mean, I am sure I can do this job, I've spent the last couple of years taking care of the house I died in after all. But this place is big! Much bigger than I expected, and this is where you all come in. Cause I'm gonna need all the help I can get, and it could benefit you all as well. What's better than finding a new and important reason to be here? Think about it. Aren't you tired of wandering around and yelling "braaaains" like drones wherever you go? You can be more than that, a lot better than that. Just 'cause your skin is peeling off and you lose your limbs faster than most people lose their keys does not mean you can't find some sort of normality. Get clean. You know what I mean? Death is not the end, sometimes it's just the beginning, and I'm quite sure there's a high chance you'd be accepted if you only tried to stop eating everyone's brains.
I've even got the perfect theme song for us that you should practice to replace that ridiculous yelling with, and trust me, it is a lot better than what you're doing. It would get us the attention we need as well. Also, as people say, you can see through a liar, so I'm certainly not one.
Anyway, bad jokes aside, this is what you should do from now on. Instead of yelling "brains," when I say "who you gonna call" you should just yell "GHOST DUSTBUSTER!"
Poll Vote!
Character Name: John Mitchell
Series: Being Human
Character Age: Around 120, appears in his mid-20s
Job: Blood Addicts Anonymous Counselor
Canon: A vampire called Mitchell and a werewolf called George rent a house together in Bristol with the intention of trying to live amongst humanity as normally as they can. They discover that the house is haunted but their supernatural powers allow them to see the ghost, Annie, and the three become fast friends. Being Human follows their lives as they work through their inner (and sometimes outer) demons and discover whether it's even possible for them to live successfully alongside humans.
Handsome, funny and effortlessly cool, Mitchell is something of a celebrity amongst the local vampire community. Once he was one of their most fearsome killers, but these days he's actually a pretty nice guy who treats blood as an unwelcome addiction and abstains from it entirely. An idealist at heart, Mitchell is sometimes given to dramatic speeches and is always looking for ways to reconcile his pride in vampire society with his newly found morality. His friendship with his housemates keeps him grounded and helps him stand against the temptation to return to his former bloodthirsty ways.
Note: Mitchell is taken from the time between seasons one and two.
Sample Post:
My name is John Mitchell, and I am a vampire. I have lived for over a hundred years. I've seen the rise and fall of nations, technology from the first powered flight to the first moon landing and I've fought in two world wars. I know, first hand, the extent of the things humanity is capable of. I also count among my friends a ghost and a werewolf. I've been living in the world of monsters under the bed for a very long time now. So you'd think that if zombies really existed, whether created by humans or whatever made the rest of us, I'd've heard something about it before now. But sure enough, I'd barely even got here when I found myself surrounded by decomposing bodies practically climbing over each other for the chance to eat my brains. If this was in the job description, I must have missed some seriously important small print.
And speaking of this job: I know there are cultural differences between us and the American vampire community, but this is taking embracing stereotypes to a whole new level. We moved on from the bad horror movie stage... actually, we didn't even go through a bad horror movie stage. In any case, if you're serious about giving up blood, and you've decided it has to be here, you're going to have to do some work on the place. Getting off blood is anything but easy, you're going to have to change your whole attitude towards what you are and where you stand in regards to humanity. And as much as I'm all for keeping old traditions alive, this place is just waiting for a class full of teenagers to wander in and be picked off one by one. The whole atmosphere is creepy. And "creepy" is not going to help your chances of going clean.
So the zombies are the first things that have to go. No complaints, there's enough of the living dead around here without them around too. Throw them in the lake if you have to, it looks like it should be able to dissolve a few zombies. We'd better clean the lake up too in time, although it looks more James Bond than Night of the Living Dead to me. I didn't think radioactive lakes were a trope in horror movies, but- was that a tentacle? Did you actually put a lake monster in the lake? Look, even back home some of us have trouble finding new ways to fill eternity, but I think I can safely say that you American vampires have too much time on your hands.
Poll Vote!
Character: Todoroki
Series: Kamen Rider Hibiki
Age: 28
Job: Rocking Spiritual Cleanser of Camp
Canon: In Kamen Rider Hibiki, humans capable of transforming through hard training into beings known as Oni fight an ancient battle against demons known as Makamou. Defeating Makamou is only possible using weapons that produce 'pure sound' which range from a taiko drum to trumpets to guitars. The heart of the story rests among its characters and their relations with each other and ultimately is not about the fighting. Relationships between an Oni and the person he is training to become an Oni - known as a disciple - are greatly emphasized. Out of the three Oni that Kamen Rider Hibiki mainly features, Todoroki is the second oldest, but also the newest. An Oni that is proficient in the use of string weapons, Todoroki wields a blade that can be turned into a guitar.
Todoroki became a fully-independent Oni when his master unexpectedly retired due to health issues. Shocked by the change, it took Todoroki a few battles to settle into his own style of fighting and kick some demon butt. Perhaps the most childish out of all the Oni, he can become rather overenthusiastic in everyday occurrences and his battling - like psyching himself up for a fight with chest beating and hollering. With a tendency to be clumsy in his mannerisms - words and sometimes even actions - Todoroki can cause problems though he means well. From time to time, he turns to the more experienced Oni to gain guidance and knowledge. He will always stand by his friends, never doubting them. He also has an intelligence problem as in he lacks a lot of it. So yeah, your average rock is probably smarter than Todoroki.
Sample Entry:
Zombie-san! Sorry, I'm late! That was a long trip! What a surprise, coming all the way out here was so sudden. No, I wasn't the only choice! Did someone tell you my methods are unorthodox. I promise they're fine. Maybe they are a little different, but everyone has their own style. I've already taking care of a few Makamou that I found on my way in - right, those purple, furry ones. I'll do research later to figure out their type, but they were weak enough to the strings. Don't worry about it! Funny thing is they must have thought my butt was my weak spot because they kept trying to attack it. Not that it was a problem. I've been trained to keep my presence of mind!
You say the biggest Makamou is by the lake ... let's go to it! Maybe you should lead because I might have lost the map when I fought earlier. Sorry, I shouldn't have done that! I promise I'll get a new map later. It'll be important if I'm going to find everything in the area - and this is the heart of Camp, is it? Looks pretty beat up! If you don't take care of things - wait, no. Ah, I screwed that up. It has to be hard work maintaining the buildings when you're plagued with troubles. I'll defeat all of them and purify the area, I promise!
No, we'll move on. I should say why I was really late. No, it wasn't the fight I had or losing the map but I think it's fairly important! I found a tree on my way here. I mean, not a normal tree! This one was different. I think you might have a pervert living in Camp because it was covered - well, it was covered ... maybe you should come closer. Yeah, like that! It was covered in ... ladies' underwear. I took care of everything on the tree, but I thought you should know about it! Everything's in my bag here - took awhile to get all of it down - and I thought you could return it or use it to help catch the culprit!
Hey! No, I don't think you should - why did you pull that out? I mean, you probably recognize it, don't you? That's a bunch of pink lace for a pan - your hat. Does that really belong on your head, Zombie-san? It still looks like underwear and not a hat to me. But right, I don't know much about fashion! And, ah, this is the place, isn't it? If you take the bag and I'll prepare myself - is the Makamou causing the lake to glow green like that? Maybe it's a poisonous one ... with a lot of tentacles. Another Makamou I don't know! You do? This is a Marcy? The Marcy. Sounds tough! But don't worry, Zombie-san. One second - OSSU! HAHA -AAAAAH! HAAAA! HA! HA! SAAAAA!
Now I'm ready. Don't worry! I wasn't beating myself up with the slapping and chest pounding. It's my number one breathing relaxation exercise! Helps energize me for the fight! Now your Rocking Spiritual Cleanser will get to work. I'm off!
Poll Vote!
Character: Wigglytuff
Series: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of the Sky
Character Age: ...Older! Is an adult.
Job: Guildmaster of the CFUD Branch of the Wilderness Exploration Guild
Canon: In a world ruled by Pokemon, the proper flow of time has slowly begun to deteriorate. The conditions worsen daily, and the steady increase of outlaws and Pokemon driven mad by their terror certainly aren't helping things any. But really, who has time to worry about all that?! You've got your own problems to deal with! Turned into a Pokemon with no memory other than your name and the fact that you were once human, you're thrown headfirst into an adventure in a strange land with nothing to go on and nowhere to start. And what's worse? Instead of letting you search this world to your heart's content, you have to GET A JOB. Fortunately your coworkers at the guild are, for the most part, heartwarmingly friendly, especially Guildmaster Wigglytuff.
Wigglytuff is the epitome of happiness and optimism. Just about everyone he meets will quickly be labeled as his "friendly friend" and remain as such regardless of their opinion on the matter. Quite derpy and very, very silly, he is often branded as simply "special" by those who speak of him. Wigglytuff is also widely known for his fierce temper, so much so that anyone who has experienced it at its full capacity is quite literally traumatized for life by it. As this might suggest, he can come off as incredibly childish and naive, but anyone who has been around him long enough certainly knows better! He's equally well known for his exploration prowess, rigorous training regimen, and the occasional deviation from his airheaded ways in order to say or do something ~mysteriously cool~. He's the Genius Wigglytuff after all, so he's got to live up to that title every once and awhile!
Sample Entry:
Good morning, everyone! ♪ To rabbits, gorillas, and zombies one and all, welcome to another day of hard work at the guild! ♪ I hope you've been keeping up with your duties while we were gone. Campers and counselors alike are always getting into all sorts of trouble here, and it's up to you to make sure they stay safe! Keep in mind how important your job is and how much Seefud needs every single one of you in order to be the best camp it can be! Yoom... tah! ♪
That said, I would like to congratulate the chosen recruits on another successful exploration! To reiterate, we went on a week-long trip to the legendary Seefud Volcano, where it was rumored that a treasure of untold beauty and value lay hidden! And what a trip it was! ♪ Steam burst from below as boiling magma flowed from cracky rock walls that might fall apart at any moment, and it got so hot you thought your flesh might melt right off your bones!
But, I'm glad everyone held together until the end! Because the treasure of Seefud's volcano... That secret, upclose view of the eruption in the searing heat... Wasn't that awe inspiring view worth it? Something like that... is amazingly cool! ♪ I recommend that you all travel out to see it sometime! ♪ Of course I won't tell you the way... Isn't it your job as explorers in training to figure out how to get there yourselves? Ha ha ha! ♪ If you work hard at it, the time when you reach your goal always feels a hundred times better! So... good luck with that! ♪
Now, on the return trip I'd been hearing whispers and chattings about a certain Team Zombie Nation that got wiped out two steps into the dungeon, then turned and fled. And what's worse- the whispers and chattings weren't of sadness and worry, but of meanness and spite! Belittling and making fun of our fellow explorers? Now, that's just no good! It's fun to tease our teammates and have a good time, but all this groaning and moaning is hurtful, and I won't have any more of it! I think you all owe your friends an apology. ♪
Team Zombie Nation, I understand how you feel. You must be so mad at yourself, maybe thinking "Where was my brain in an important moment like that!?" But... that's okay! Everyone fails sometimes! ♪ And it's only through failing... that you learn how to succeed! ♪ So cheer up! ♪ Remember, both of you are important comrades in training, and we always, always look out for each other. I'm sure your friends have already forgiven you for getting scared, and can't wait to go exploring with you again! So get out there, work hard on your training, and let's make this another great day! ♪
Poll Vote!
Character Lucifer Morningstar
Series The Sandman / Lucifer [Wikipedia]
Character Age Younger than God, older than a lot of everything else.
Job Lounge Pianist
Canon: First, there was Yahweh’s creation. And then there were Yahweh’s two sons, Michael and Lucifer, who provided the power and will to shape the world. And Yahweh saw that it was good. Except Lucifer was not so convinced, there was a war, and a whole bunch of Falling and then Hell opened for business. Lucifer reigned in Hell for a really long time, until he decided to lock up shop and retire. More or less. One does not simply retire from being the Lightbringer, Morning Star, Devil, etcetera. Heaven makes him an offer, and he wouldn’t be Lucifer if he didn’t take it.
In some ways, Lucifer is exactly how you would imagine him. He is smooth talking, condescending, and knows the punch line to every cosmic joke. Perhaps unexpectedly, he does not have horns, does not deal in temptation (strictly speaking, as he never made anyone do anything) and does not speak in Middle, Old, or Ancient English. Like every businessman, he has adapted to the times and become more modern. Lucifer has a particular brand of humour as well, especially surrounding his own, and his Father’s, mythology. You could also say that he’s aware of his own assholery, and doesn’t give a damn. Beyond that? Well, they do say that Hell gets all the best musicians, and he can play a mean piano.
Note: "Laissez les bon têtes vont tomber" translates to "Let the good heads roll"
Sample Post
I did not come with a desire to trespass. Really, I came with very little in terms of desire. In fact, of all the places which cater to desire, I am sure there are those which would be far happier to hold my presence, but I have time to kill. Lifetimes to kill, even, which brings us back to the first point. Ah, the hospitality of Louisiana and the undead all in one nice, neat little package. In return I could only offer my own warm greeting. Laissez les bon têtes vont tomber, so to speak. Oh, I’m even here in season. Wonderful. Though it seems the spirit of restraint is only here in that, spirit.
Dwelling in the past is not my style. Nor, really, should it be yours, as there is a keen difference between remembering and being pathetic. The same difference that there is between learning and simple imitation. I don’t have the time or patience to indulge you. Yes, yes, you as a general whole. Public announcements seem so. . . dramatic, but drama does suit drama and "Camp Fuck You Die" is a name of spectacle.
Preemptively, then, I am not your Satan, or your devil. If you wish to complain on the current state of affairs, I've heard that a priest and a box will do quite nicely in placating your anxieties. Faith is for everyone, but particularly the meek, worried and disgruntled. I am not here to tempt you or to interfere in your silly little apocalyptic games, and I am most definitely not here for your souls. Perhaps, if you're that desperate to give them away, try Ebay. You may find it difficult to show proof of existence, but not everyone on the internet reads the fine print.
I believe this brings us to the conclusion of this matter. I, Lucifer Morningstar, have been offered a job by your Elizabeth Sayre. It is safe to say that I will not resign from this position under any terms, unless of course you wish to make me a substantially larger offer.
And now, I'm sure you've all been waiting for it. I'll begin tonight's mood music. The last song in the set will undoubtedly be "Both Sides Now", but it seems appropriate to begin with "When You Wish Upon A Star" in three piano variations. Please, enjoy.
Poll Vote!