(no subject)
Last batch with a dup at the end! Info about the next camper round to be posted as soon as we decide a date :B
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character name: Honoka Kawai
Series: Sora Kake Girl (The Girl who Leapt Through Space)
Character Age: Appears 16, actually 65+
Canon: Ever had a day where you wished you could just stay at home, get free internet and food, and never leave? Most have. A problem arises when it's the future, in space, and there's an AI running a colony, know as a 'Brain colony', that says "actually that sounds like a really good idea" and tries to brainwash humanity to go into boxes ... for their own safety, of course. His name was Nerval. The people who made Nerval, the Shishoudou company, led the campaign against him, culminating in creating a second AI run colony called Leopard. They won, but fearing Leopard would also turn on them, they put him to sleep. Skip fifty years, Nerval has returned with enough boxes for everyone, and standing between him and humanity is Shishidou Akiha, a schoolgirl with neither talent nor ambition. Assisted by her robot buddy Imo-chan, a mysterious loli called Honoka and an undercover police officer known as Kannagi Itsuki, she has to rebuild and protect the only AI colony left on the side of humanity: the damaged and batshit insane Leopard. Together, under a flurry of lesbiantastic fanservice, voice actor allusions and more phallic jokes then you can wave a large, long cannon at, they have joined a battle for the fate of humanity itself!
This section will contain falling spoilers for late episodes.
Honoka Kawai is a mysterious, taciturn and psychic girl who sleeps in a box and clearly knows a lot about what's happening, but isn't all that willing to explain things. She takes her missions to repair Leopard seriously and with deadpan calmness, whether it involves stealing from high security areas or dressing in bikinis. On missions and off, Honoka is sensible, capable, and hard to fluster, dealing with crazy AI's or getting burned as a witch (literally!) with plenty of calm, and lending a powerful pimp hand to situations that need common sense as well as an occasional touch of weirdness. But quiet as she is, she isn't anywhere near emotionless. Honoka is, in fact, extremely passionate about defeating Nerval, whom she despises, and rescuing people from boxes. When the subject comes up, she switches for emotionless and taciturn to angry declarations and strangling traitors. A lot of this passion is caused by her attachment to the mysterious Kagura, leader of the previous anti-Nerval force. After 50 years alone on Leopard, her desire to defeat Nerval is still driving her and lending her strength. Even though she is now dying, Honoka is determined to keep fighting until Nerval is defeated, and to protect her new found friends, never hesitating to use abilities that would shorten her life span for the sake of the mission. Of course, she has no intention of giving up and dying afterwards: she made a promise to be treated at a hospital, and she's going to keep it.
Sample Post:
Leopard has buildings, an onsen, tentacle monsters, and a library... But not a summer camp. And not a sign saying 'Camp Fuck You Die', without a comma. There aren't many people on Leopard who want to sing Kumbaya and set things on fire, or learn important lessons... I've left space. This is Earth.
Hello? You're looking... For a Brain? All of you are looking for Brains. And boxes. But you shouldn't be. It's because your hearts are weak... And... Missing. But that doesn't mean you should give up. The whole world, with all its sights and sounds, is much better. Or touch, if you don't have eyes and ears. You can touch things. Yourselves, other people, all you want, anywhere. You can touch buildings, trees, and boats... Even cats. And other people can touch you. There is nothing bad about that, and no rules or laws to stop you touching people everywhere in a summer Camp. But you won't be able to touch anything except yourself if you go in the box. If you do go in the box... You lose. All the games, sleep, hobbies... At life.
Everything important is outside the box, and you won't have anything. Not a diamond ring, or a house on the hills... Just you, in a box. And it isn't good to live in a box. Even if it has free internet, and food. If you go in the box, you won't even know you've lost things. You'll think it's okay, and slowly, you'll become used to it. The other people, the people who like boxes, will talk to you. And eventually... Your box and the people in the boxes will be the only things important to you. You'll write to them, and refresh, and refresh, until your fingers fall off, and try to fit in... And you might find acceptance, but it isn't right. Even though you'll grow to love it, there are better places... Places with more space, places that won't cost you anything, month after month, but you won't think to go. So... You have to go out now, before you forget what the world is really like.
The people who are controlling you ...Are not humans. They are things that decide who lives and dies, but they shouldn't. Outside the box, outside the barrier... Your future should be out. Even if they're powerful, you can fight. You've already lost your hearts. And legs. And arms. How much more will you lose if you don't fight back? Come with me, if you want to live. Together, we can do this... We have a plan.
Step one: Eliminate the Moogles.
Step two: Find and drop an anvil on The Director.
Step three: ...Put your pants back on.
Step four: Victory.
With it... We will defeat the Brains and destroy the Moogle System.
Poll Vote!
Name Kannagi Itsuki
Series: Sora Kake Girl
Age: 17
Canon: In the whimsical world of Sora Kake Girl, humanity has by and large relocated to space colonies, where life has been carefree since those evil -- okay, perhaps morally questionable -- AI-run space colonies were defeated and deleted from history fifty years ago... at least until those AIs come back to reveal the dark story behind their disappearance and humanity's flight from Earth. This leaves it up to three teenage girls to start on a madcap romp through space trying to make things better for everyone: humans, AIs, and bizarre side character monster things.
Itsuki is a member of the Department of Mysteries of the Inter-Colony Police, or ICP. She's a extremely dedicated, loyal and able officer, having decided to go into the police force instead of pursuing secondary schooling. She is constantly prepared for most normal on-the-job situations, which covers areas not normally seen in police procedure, such as exorcism due to her jurisdiction in paranormal incidents and having fanservice-y outfits for every possible situation. Despite her devotion to her work, her unique career choices have made her less than adeptin social situations, which makes her mission to go undercover as schoolgirl "Mutsumi Shioyama" and hunt down AI colonies quite difficult at times.
Itsuki is also one of many Earth Orphans, children who were left behind after a mysterious event 12 years ago known as the Terra Abduction, and will take any chance to seek out information about her past.
Sample Post:
I'm at the entrance to the legendary Camp Fuck U Die. Over 500 years of legends, and campfire tales about the legendary grounds that hold such mysteries as Miss Marcy the unidentified xenomorph, and the never-analyzed Tuesday soup. It's a true departmental legend I'm tackling here, something that's got records that are less reliable then the Bermuda Triangle. And getting there can be quite tricky: only those who are under the age of 22 have the true advantage in getting past its barrier. And if you go with someone else, you might be separated from your partner for a long time. So I'm going into the barrier solo. No communicator's ever worked once someone's in, so hopefully, this'll be a quick in and out job. This will be a comprehensive reconnaissance mission for the purposes of locating the Director, however, so I know I must be prepared for what might be a long haul.
Even though I have no jurisdiction here on Earth, I will keep this recording in case I need to send a emergency message on how to get here. There's quite a reputation for danger here, according to what little records we have. Hopefully, someday I will be the first to write the full report on Camp Fuck U Die for the Department of Mysteries! But enough talk: I've got to keep going with the mission. I'm going to try to step up to the barrier now. I hear this is the easy part once you've located the entrance--and it looks like I can just press my hand in easily, so here I go.
--fascinating! The zombies here really do seem to share some sort of communal ecosystem with the toucans and the purple gorillas. As soon as I was spotted by the birds, the gorillas started to move in my direction. Luckily, that crowd of zombies were also nearby, and I had my best ripped jumpusit on, so once rolled on the ground a few times, I began to imitate the recordings from the record "Dawn of The Dead". The gorillas then became confused and wandered off without any further trouble, and I easily convinced the zombies they wanted to leave me alone. Unfortunately, it also looks like the rumors about the barrier being normally one way are true, as when I tried to exit, my path was blocked. But if I'm lucky, there will be someone nearby who will be sufficiently experienced enough to direct me to where I want to go since I'm so close to the barrier...
Ah, excuse me, sir! I'm sorry to interrupt your attempts at escape. I'm trying to find my way to your director. I've heard that she's a hard woman to find, but with a little persistence and hard work, I believe it can be done. Over there, in the Center Of Camp is where you've heard of "strange people popping up the most frequently"? Thank you, sir! Oh, don't worry about me. I'll wait for as long as it takes to get my chance with her.
In fact, could you show me where the mess hall is first? I've got to get a sample of the soup before I leave here, anyway.
Poll Vote!
Character: Banjou Kizaki
Series: Ann Cassandra/Un-Cassandra
Age: about 17
Canon: If you had the power to see horrible events that have yet to come, what would you do? Would you try your best to stop these predictions, or would you do nothing and let these events to occur and let those people die? For Bekku Nanaki, a clairvoyant who can see these visions in mirrors, it was the latter, that is until she transfers schools and meets Banjou Kizaki, another clairvoyant who can see these images in photographs.
Banjou is a determined guy who will do his best to stop whatever prediction he sees, whether it's becoming a fish merchant and losing his catch in a busy intersection just so a billboard doesn't crush people or hijacking a crane to stop a steel rod from falling, Banjou won't let anything stop him. He's reckless to the point that he doesn't care about his own personal safety (but he doesn't worry about dying since it's predicted he'll die when he's 20). Heck, not even being in enough incidents and accidents to make him miss enough school to be held back deters Banjou. Ever the optimist, as long as there is a tiny chance he'll succeed, he'll follow through with his plans. Energetic, friendly, and blunt, Banjou may be trying to break all the predictions he sees just to try and stop his own death, but he really does care about the people he's trying to save. He just might even give them takoyaki!
Note: Banjou is being apped between Chapters 4 and 5
Sample Post:
At 16:50, a group of trees in the swamp will fall, crushing a group of people standing at their base. From what I could tell, the total number of casualties will be close to 75. I have four minutes. . .
Hey there everybody, now I got a treat here that I'm pretty sure that you don't want to miss! All of you seem to be ambling here and all of you are trying to get the same thing, right? Of course you do. I just got here not that long ago and all I've seen is you all moaning "Braaaaaaaaaaains", well I'm here to help you all out! So come one, come all, I'm giving away brains for free. Don't miss your chance to finally get a brain. It's a one time only special, so hurry up before I run out. That's right! Don't look so shocked that someone is trying to help you out. Pick your jaws off the ground and step right up for the deal of your life.
. . .no, really, pick your jaws up, it's kinda creepy seeing them on the ground. I never thought jaw dropping would be like that. Alright, that's better! Bring all your friends, because I'm sure that you don't want them to miss this! Call them over so they can share in this. Hey, wait, don't leave! Look at this, a brain bigger than Einstein's. I bet you haven't seen a brain this big before. Yeah! That's right, just call them over, no need to go over there. And hey, I don't just have brains here, I have all sorts of spare parts, need a hand? Which one: right or left? Have two left feet? Let's switch one out. Oh wow, I've seem to have drawn a big crowd! I really hope I have something for everybody. It should be happening in three. . .two. . .one. Time.
Whoa! Would you look at that? Who would've thought that all those trees would fall down, and right where you were too! . . .Wait wait,hold on! Don't all of you crowd around me at once! I'm sure that I have enough so that everyone gets something. But look, all of you guys smell kinda bad, so if you want to just step back and give me some space to breathe, that would be great and- what are you guys getting so angry about?
Of course the brains aren't real! Where would I get real brains in the first place? Hey, I can't give out any refunds if what you all got was free. Look, I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted, but that's no reason to cart me off somewhere! Just where are you taking me? . . .the tentacle monster in the lake?
. . .huh, I wonder what takoyaki made from that would taste like. Hey, I'll share you all if you want? I'm sure it'll taste great!
Poll Vote!
Character: Wilhelm
Series: Ludwig Revolution
Character Age: Around 19
Canon: Once upon a time long, long ago, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a prince. The Prince was intelligent, handsome and could accomplish any task he tried. Of course, he was also a huge pervert who measured a princess’ worth by her cup size and was more interested in maintaining his special whip collection than thinking of inheriting the country. So one day the king got fed up and told his son Ludwig to go find a proper princess to marry and not to come back until he had. And so the prince set out on a journey to do precisely that.
…And with him he dragged his poor hapless servant Wilhelm, who had no choice but try to find good candidates for his Prince’ marriage; like Cinderella, Snow White and Rapunzel. It’s too bad he’s far too kind-hearted and naïve for his own good, because despite how much research he does on the subject, something always seems to go wrong, and the prince keeps giving him more and more tasks and bullies him. It doesn’t help that Wilhelm cries very easily, is a complete coward that runs and hides at any sign of danger, complains loudly about any chore he’s assigned… and then still does them all to the best of his ability, and is as loyal as they come. When it comes down to it, he’s perfectly happy being a servant.
Sample Post:
Did I really follow that old map correctly? This is the lost Kingdom of Camp- eh, C-camp Fuck You Die, right? …Who would even want to name their Kingdom that?! Didn’t they think of what kind of connotations a name like that has? There’s no way someone would actually want to be associated with that, is there? Of course, it’s just a cultural difference, there’s nothing to worry about, just an unfortunate implication, nothing else. That sign by the lake about Marcy’s special services is definitely just about a massage. It’s perfectly innocent. Though the Prince would probably prefer it if it wasn’t…
Where was I? Oh yes, according to this written source from a local, a certain Mister T. Ohkan, it says the ruler of the Kingdom should be one Queen Elizabeth who became so distraught when her beloved fiancé was killed that she locked up her whole country so they would never leave her. She then proceeded to use her witchcraft to humiliate and embarrass anyone that stepped into her rea- She did what?! This doesn’t sound good at all, no one warned me she was a malicious witch, and getting used to spending time with a masochistic one was bad enough, I really don’t need to get to know a sadistic one. I don’t care how many busty princesses this place is supposed to have, I’ll just find another Kingdom for the prince to look for one in.
Why do I have to go ahead and check the place out anyway?! It’s not like anything more than a photo would be needed and if it’s such a remote location there should be rooms available at the Guest House! I bet he only sent me ahead so he could laugh at me getting lost in the swamp and my jacket getting caught on the local flora. Why did those seem a little bit too friendly, anyway? That’s it! I’m going to go straight back to the border and leave this place behind, no amount of gold could make me stay! I just have to take the same path back and-
Eeeeeeek! A-are-are those zombies? I’ve really gotten myself in trouble now, haven’t I? Please don’t come any closer! I promise you I’m not tasty at all! I probably work all too much, so my meat would be too tough. O-oh, you’re all female zombies? I’m sure you’re all very beautiful by your own standards, but my instructions were clearly to look for a pair of breasts still attached to the body! Nooo! That doesn’t mean I want them. God, help me save my chastity, make them stay away from meeee!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kagura
Series: Gintama
Character Age: 13-14
Canon: The premise behind Gintama is simple. Aliens invade Edo Japan, swords become banned and samurai are left jobless. Former 'White Demon' samurai Sakata Gintoki is left running Odd Jobs Gin, as a freelancer with super strength alien 'China' girl, Kagura and glasses wearing straight man, Shinpachi. But really Odd Jobs Gin barely makes enough money to fund Gintoki's Weekly Jump and sugar addiction and they're constantly behind on the rent. The series itself is a giant anachronism stew that punches the fourth wall on a regular basis and is constantly toeing the line when it comes to copyright laws (they avoid this by bleeping out sensitive words) and class. Oh, and sometimes there's a plot.
The core of Kagura's character is the innocent little girl type, but this canon is determined to break every single 'moe' trope it can. For example, she holds the very special honor of being the first Weekly Jump heroine to throw up. While she can be naive and, dare I say, cute, she's a complete brat. She likes to act like the jaded smart-ass adult figure despite not knowing much at all. She's immature, smug, pushy and a poor loser who will resort to incredibly cheap tactics in order to win. She also has an never ending appetite with an equally greedy personality to match. But she's a good girl, honestly! Unlike the rest of her Yato race, she suppresses her instincts to kill, she just has no qualms about beating the crap out of people, stepping on people's self esteem or... well, you get the idea.
Note: There's really no difference, but the app is written using the anime canon produced by Sunrise. Fujita is the previous director.
Sample Post:
Hi, this is Kagura from Odd Jobs Gin here to catch your running fridge! Come on, I need to eat enough on this job to last me two days, so where's that fridge? Of course, I'm going to wipe the contents that fridge clean. What, are you stupid? You're stupid, aren't you! Well you should've thought ahead before you agreed to this. Caveat emptor and all, or was it empty cavity? Either way, your loss. Hah!
What's the big idea! Where's the fridge already. You've got three seconds before I beat the truth of ya. What about my reward? So this was all a trick to get me to bust you guys out of prison, huh. Forget it! You don't even have food, you definitely don't got any money. You guys can't even afford to keep your limbs attached. You don't even got any balls! I'll never trust another rotting zombie corpse again! Odd Jobs Gin doesn't do pro-bono and don't try to swindle me with this "for the greater good" stuff! The greater good doesn't fill my stomach at all. I'm a growing girl, you know. Solve your own problems, I'm going home.
The Director won't let me out? You know, this is why I don't trust newbies. He's only done 19 episodes so far and he's already this cocky! I'm issuing a complaint. You hear me, Sunrise?! I'm demanding Fujita-san back. We've been through thick and thin together. Low ratings, time slots changes and complaints from the PTA. He'd know better than to throw the show into a never ending filler arc like *BEEP* and *BEEP*. Look how badly Infinity Eight is working for H*r*hi. I knew we were running out of source material to adapt, but we worked really hard to fool the audience and buy time for the manga for pull ahead, uh huh!
Hey, bird brains, what are you doing in my inner monolgue! And you should've said so earlier! That director, she's ten years too early to think she can trap me in some b-grade horror movie plot. Cute, innocent girls like me are always the first to go! Women should get over their loser exes and find someone better. Director Shmector! This pisses me off. I'm going to beat the crap out of her. Alright, you brainless buffoons, I'm busting out of here. You can follow if you can keep up, but I'm not doing it for you. And I expect 10 years worth of pickled seaweed in compensation, damn it!
So stay tuned next week for GuraTama. I, your new main character Gura-san, will make the director kneel and call me, Madame Foreman! Later on, I'll show you how prepare Pedoro Bear with rice. Look forward to it!
... that it? Is this long enough yet? Apping sure is tough. Ah, who cares. I'll just add a bunch of line
breaks
and
no one
will
tell
the
difference.
Poll Vote!
First Applicant
Character: Korea/Im Yong Soo
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 15-16
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia (APH) is the humorous story of the world through the lens of history. Although written by a Japanese man, it is really an invention of Korea, since Japan itself was settled by immigrants from the Korean Peninsula!!1! APH focuses primarily on the Roman Empire, the Renaissance and Reformation Years, World War I, World War II, and the modern day. Sadly, most of the attention in the series is given to nations like Italy, Germany, or America, who (although they are good to study in and visit) have not created or done anything of note, unlike Korea.
Im Yong Soo, the personification of Korea, is nationalistic, loud, and very proud of how everything from romance to food to Confucius originated in him. Although he enjoys harassing his bro China and Japan, Korea likes to take their things and is very fond of them when they are not busy beating him up or invading his home. Since he was first born he has suffered many hardships and invasions, primarily by Russia and Japan, was indebted to China for a long time, and was threatened by other Western nations. All this has done, however, is strengthen his belief in his importance and significance to other countries and given him some good material to use in those incredibly melodramatic and over the top Kdramas.
*Byung Hun Lee is like the Brad Pitt of Korean Dramas.
Sample Post:
What a great place, America! Hello zombies! Wassup, squid! This is just like the setting of one of my video games. If I created a game based off of this, it'd be very popular, especially if I put it on the Internet. It might even be better than StarCraft! Of course, it'll outsell Nintendo and Sony, since creativity originated in me! You'll buy the yearly paid account with fifteen extra add-on userpics and 2 GB of photo storage again, right? It's so much cheaper than paying monthly or buying one of Japan's games! Looking for bargains originated in me, too, and my people know how to give you a good deal.
But the more I look, the more I realize this would be the perfect setting for my new super amazing drama! It'll be a fusion romance-horror, starring Byung Hun Lee as the hero trapped in the underworld and looking for the spirit of his girlfriend, who was killed by her evil stepmother after getting amnesia from the accident she got into because of the shock of discovering she was dying of cancer! I'll make her blind, too, so that the audience will sympathize with her more. It'll be the perfect mixture of realism and fantasy! I'll name the lustful but tragic step-brother after China to show my affection. He'll be so touched! Or maybe I should name him after Japan since he commits suicide in the end? Bro, which would be best? Do you want to be in my drama or should Japan be? Bro?
Brooooooo! ♥
Eh...? Am I the only one here? America, where did you go? It's rude to leave your guest alone at your place. If you're not careful, I'm gonna cast you as the evil step-brother. Everyone knows that Westerners are only good in movies as butlers and evil-doers. They're not stylish or well-known at all! Just like Hyundai, all the most famous and popular things originated in Korea! Ah, more importantly, America even said that Hyundais are the best cars he ever saw! Because everything in my house is made by Hyundai, all my actors are the most talented as well! America is so lucky that I'm gonna film this in his house. Think of all the tourism this will get him! With all this attention, he could become the Korea of the West! He's already close because there are many similarities between our two homes. My house has many, many guerillas in it too. America must've gotten them when he was visiting my place that one time. I was right! He's trying to make his house more like mine! He's even got a tentacle monster and since tentacles originated in Japan and Japan originated in me, it's proof that he's copying me! KOREA IS NUMBER ONE!!
Second Applicant
Character: Korea (Im Yong Su)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 15-16
Canon: Axis powers Hetalia is about anthropomorphic countries and follows along with history(wars, countries relations) mainly around the time of World War l and ll, with each countries character displaying some of the common stereotypes.
Korea can be very loud and outgoing... possibly a little too outgoing at times and can rather be a bit obnoxious. He has his serious moments though and family is something that's pretty important to him. He calls China, Aniki(big brother) and knows China definitely likes him a lot(though China himself may not actually agree with that). He also likes/hates Japan. He also likes telling everyone about what originated in Korea(Which, according to him, is everything good), and Korean dramas.
Sample Post:
Aniki? Anikiii~? Hm. Maybe he's off making something for me. He could even be--Wow! Is that a zombie? A real zombie! That's pretty awesome!
Hello, there Zombie! You know, you're the first zombie I've met! Don't worry though, I'm liking you already! In fact, you can even call me Aniki! Bet you always wanted one right? Well now you've got the best one! Say, we're pretty close now, right? Do you think... It would be all right if I touch your chest, right? I mean, I'm sure they won't be as good as my Aniki's, but it couldn't hurt to try-Hey! Where are you going?!
Come back! I can't believe you're not cooperating! You do realize that centuries ago, on a dark stormy night, Korea was being bullied by that mean Japan and he slaved to create something that would stop all the bullying and ended up making a zombie! You knew that, right? That zombies originated in Korea. So doesn't it only seem right if I'm allowed to feel you? Zombiiiiiie! Wait up! Oh.
Oh wow.
Your whole arm just came right off. And now you're just kind of dripping parts everywhere... You know, you're actually not put together so well... Never mind, you didn't originate in Korea.... Oh hey! See that? That's a really neat tree. Now something like that originated in Korea. Not zombies that can't even stay together. Wait, what's going on?! That tree's actually dropping leaves pretty fast. I bet it'll probably be bare soon... Well... maybe that one came from Japan or somewhere else instead too... Yes, yes, that must be it. Definitely not from Korea though.
Aniki! That's right, I should go back to searching for him, I'm sure he's probably worried about me, he does get that way after all and I can't leave him alone for too long.
Hey Anikiiii? Don't worry, I'll find you soon~!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character name: Honoka Kawai
Series: Sora Kake Girl (The Girl who Leapt Through Space)
Character Age: Appears 16, actually 65+
Canon: Ever had a day where you wished you could just stay at home, get free internet and food, and never leave? Most have. A problem arises when it's the future, in space, and there's an AI running a colony, know as a 'Brain colony', that says "actually that sounds like a really good idea" and tries to brainwash humanity to go into boxes ... for their own safety, of course. His name was Nerval. The people who made Nerval, the Shishoudou company, led the campaign against him, culminating in creating a second AI run colony called Leopard. They won, but fearing Leopard would also turn on them, they put him to sleep. Skip fifty years, Nerval has returned with enough boxes for everyone, and standing between him and humanity is Shishidou Akiha, a schoolgirl with neither talent nor ambition. Assisted by her robot buddy Imo-chan, a mysterious loli called Honoka and an undercover police officer known as Kannagi Itsuki, she has to rebuild and protect the only AI colony left on the side of humanity: the damaged and batshit insane Leopard. Together, under a flurry of lesbiantastic fanservice, voice actor allusions and more phallic jokes then you can wave a large, long cannon at, they have joined a battle for the fate of humanity itself!
This section will contain falling spoilers for late episodes.
Honoka Kawai is a mysterious, taciturn and psychic girl who sleeps in a box and clearly knows a lot about what's happening, but isn't all that willing to explain things. She takes her missions to repair Leopard seriously and with deadpan calmness, whether it involves stealing from high security areas or dressing in bikinis. On missions and off, Honoka is sensible, capable, and hard to fluster, dealing with crazy AI's or getting burned as a witch (literally!) with plenty of calm, and lending a powerful pimp hand to situations that need common sense as well as an occasional touch of weirdness. But quiet as she is, she isn't anywhere near emotionless. Honoka is, in fact, extremely passionate about defeating Nerval, whom she despises, and rescuing people from boxes. When the subject comes up, she switches for emotionless and taciturn to angry declarations and strangling traitors. A lot of this passion is caused by her attachment to the mysterious Kagura, leader of the previous anti-Nerval force. After 50 years alone on Leopard, her desire to defeat Nerval is still driving her and lending her strength. Even though she is now dying, Honoka is determined to keep fighting until Nerval is defeated, and to protect her new found friends, never hesitating to use abilities that would shorten her life span for the sake of the mission. Of course, she has no intention of giving up and dying afterwards: she made a promise to be treated at a hospital, and she's going to keep it.
Sample Post:
Leopard has buildings, an onsen, tentacle monsters, and a library... But not a summer camp. And not a sign saying 'Camp Fuck You Die', without a comma. There aren't many people on Leopard who want to sing Kumbaya and set things on fire, or learn important lessons... I've left space. This is Earth.
Hello? You're looking... For a Brain? All of you are looking for Brains. And boxes. But you shouldn't be. It's because your hearts are weak... And... Missing. But that doesn't mean you should give up. The whole world, with all its sights and sounds, is much better. Or touch, if you don't have eyes and ears. You can touch things. Yourselves, other people, all you want, anywhere. You can touch buildings, trees, and boats... Even cats. And other people can touch you. There is nothing bad about that, and no rules or laws to stop you touching people everywhere in a summer Camp. But you won't be able to touch anything except yourself if you go in the box. If you do go in the box... You lose. All the games, sleep, hobbies... At life.
Everything important is outside the box, and you won't have anything. Not a diamond ring, or a house on the hills... Just you, in a box. And it isn't good to live in a box. Even if it has free internet, and food. If you go in the box, you won't even know you've lost things. You'll think it's okay, and slowly, you'll become used to it. The other people, the people who like boxes, will talk to you. And eventually... Your box and the people in the boxes will be the only things important to you. You'll write to them, and refresh, and refresh, until your fingers fall off, and try to fit in... And you might find acceptance, but it isn't right. Even though you'll grow to love it, there are better places... Places with more space, places that won't cost you anything, month after month, but you won't think to go. So... You have to go out now, before you forget what the world is really like.
The people who are controlling you ...Are not humans. They are things that decide who lives and dies, but they shouldn't. Outside the box, outside the barrier... Your future should be out. Even if they're powerful, you can fight. You've already lost your hearts. And legs. And arms. How much more will you lose if you don't fight back? Come with me, if you want to live. Together, we can do this... We have a plan.
Step one: Eliminate the Moogles.
Step two: Find and drop an anvil on The Director.
Step three: ...Put your pants back on.
Step four: Victory.
With it... We will defeat the Brains and destroy the Moogle System.
Poll Vote!
Name Kannagi Itsuki
Series: Sora Kake Girl
Age: 17
Canon: In the whimsical world of Sora Kake Girl, humanity has by and large relocated to space colonies, where life has been carefree since those evil -- okay, perhaps morally questionable -- AI-run space colonies were defeated and deleted from history fifty years ago... at least until those AIs come back to reveal the dark story behind their disappearance and humanity's flight from Earth. This leaves it up to three teenage girls to start on a madcap romp through space trying to make things better for everyone: humans, AIs, and bizarre side character monster things.
Itsuki is a member of the Department of Mysteries of the Inter-Colony Police, or ICP. She's a extremely dedicated, loyal and able officer, having decided to go into the police force instead of pursuing secondary schooling. She is constantly prepared for most normal on-the-job situations, which covers areas not normally seen in police procedure, such as exorcism due to her jurisdiction in paranormal incidents and having fanservice-y outfits for every possible situation. Despite her devotion to her work, her unique career choices have made her less than adeptin social situations, which makes her mission to go undercover as schoolgirl "Mutsumi Shioyama" and hunt down AI colonies quite difficult at times.
Itsuki is also one of many Earth Orphans, children who were left behind after a mysterious event 12 years ago known as the Terra Abduction, and will take any chance to seek out information about her past.
Sample Post:
I'm at the entrance to the legendary Camp Fuck U Die. Over 500 years of legends, and campfire tales about the legendary grounds that hold such mysteries as Miss Marcy the unidentified xenomorph, and the never-analyzed Tuesday soup. It's a true departmental legend I'm tackling here, something that's got records that are less reliable then the Bermuda Triangle. And getting there can be quite tricky: only those who are under the age of 22 have the true advantage in getting past its barrier. And if you go with someone else, you might be separated from your partner for a long time. So I'm going into the barrier solo. No communicator's ever worked once someone's in, so hopefully, this'll be a quick in and out job. This will be a comprehensive reconnaissance mission for the purposes of locating the Director, however, so I know I must be prepared for what might be a long haul.
Even though I have no jurisdiction here on Earth, I will keep this recording in case I need to send a emergency message on how to get here. There's quite a reputation for danger here, according to what little records we have. Hopefully, someday I will be the first to write the full report on Camp Fuck U Die for the Department of Mysteries! But enough talk: I've got to keep going with the mission. I'm going to try to step up to the barrier now. I hear this is the easy part once you've located the entrance--and it looks like I can just press my hand in easily, so here I go.
--fascinating! The zombies here really do seem to share some sort of communal ecosystem with the toucans and the purple gorillas. As soon as I was spotted by the birds, the gorillas started to move in my direction. Luckily, that crowd of zombies were also nearby, and I had my best ripped jumpusit on, so once rolled on the ground a few times, I began to imitate the recordings from the record "Dawn of The Dead". The gorillas then became confused and wandered off without any further trouble, and I easily convinced the zombies they wanted to leave me alone. Unfortunately, it also looks like the rumors about the barrier being normally one way are true, as when I tried to exit, my path was blocked. But if I'm lucky, there will be someone nearby who will be sufficiently experienced enough to direct me to where I want to go since I'm so close to the barrier...
Ah, excuse me, sir! I'm sorry to interrupt your attempts at escape. I'm trying to find my way to your director. I've heard that she's a hard woman to find, but with a little persistence and hard work, I believe it can be done. Over there, in the Center Of Camp is where you've heard of "strange people popping up the most frequently"? Thank you, sir! Oh, don't worry about me. I'll wait for as long as it takes to get my chance with her.
In fact, could you show me where the mess hall is first? I've got to get a sample of the soup before I leave here, anyway.
Poll Vote!
Character: Banjou Kizaki
Series: Ann Cassandra/Un-Cassandra
Age: about 17
Canon: If you had the power to see horrible events that have yet to come, what would you do? Would you try your best to stop these predictions, or would you do nothing and let these events to occur and let those people die? For Bekku Nanaki, a clairvoyant who can see these visions in mirrors, it was the latter, that is until she transfers schools and meets Banjou Kizaki, another clairvoyant who can see these images in photographs.
Banjou is a determined guy who will do his best to stop whatever prediction he sees, whether it's becoming a fish merchant and losing his catch in a busy intersection just so a billboard doesn't crush people or hijacking a crane to stop a steel rod from falling, Banjou won't let anything stop him. He's reckless to the point that he doesn't care about his own personal safety (but he doesn't worry about dying since it's predicted he'll die when he's 20). Heck, not even being in enough incidents and accidents to make him miss enough school to be held back deters Banjou. Ever the optimist, as long as there is a tiny chance he'll succeed, he'll follow through with his plans. Energetic, friendly, and blunt, Banjou may be trying to break all the predictions he sees just to try and stop his own death, but he really does care about the people he's trying to save. He just might even give them takoyaki!
Note: Banjou is being apped between Chapters 4 and 5
Sample Post:
At 16:50, a group of trees in the swamp will fall, crushing a group of people standing at their base. From what I could tell, the total number of casualties will be close to 75. I have four minutes. . .
Hey there everybody, now I got a treat here that I'm pretty sure that you don't want to miss! All of you seem to be ambling here and all of you are trying to get the same thing, right? Of course you do. I just got here not that long ago and all I've seen is you all moaning "Braaaaaaaaaaains", well I'm here to help you all out! So come one, come all, I'm giving away brains for free. Don't miss your chance to finally get a brain. It's a one time only special, so hurry up before I run out. That's right! Don't look so shocked that someone is trying to help you out. Pick your jaws off the ground and step right up for the deal of your life.
. . .no, really, pick your jaws up, it's kinda creepy seeing them on the ground. I never thought jaw dropping would be like that. Alright, that's better! Bring all your friends, because I'm sure that you don't want them to miss this! Call them over so they can share in this. Hey, wait, don't leave! Look at this, a brain bigger than Einstein's. I bet you haven't seen a brain this big before. Yeah! That's right, just call them over, no need to go over there. And hey, I don't just have brains here, I have all sorts of spare parts, need a hand? Which one: right or left? Have two left feet? Let's switch one out. Oh wow, I've seem to have drawn a big crowd! I really hope I have something for everybody. It should be happening in three. . .two. . .one. Time.
Whoa! Would you look at that? Who would've thought that all those trees would fall down, and right where you were too! . . .Wait wait,hold on! Don't all of you crowd around me at once! I'm sure that I have enough so that everyone gets something. But look, all of you guys smell kinda bad, so if you want to just step back and give me some space to breathe, that would be great and- what are you guys getting so angry about?
Of course the brains aren't real! Where would I get real brains in the first place? Hey, I can't give out any refunds if what you all got was free. Look, I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted, but that's no reason to cart me off somewhere! Just where are you taking me? . . .the tentacle monster in the lake?
. . .huh, I wonder what takoyaki made from that would taste like. Hey, I'll share you all if you want? I'm sure it'll taste great!
Poll Vote!
Character: Wilhelm
Series: Ludwig Revolution
Character Age: Around 19
Canon: Once upon a time long, long ago, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a prince. The Prince was intelligent, handsome and could accomplish any task he tried. Of course, he was also a huge pervert who measured a princess’ worth by her cup size and was more interested in maintaining his special whip collection than thinking of inheriting the country. So one day the king got fed up and told his son Ludwig to go find a proper princess to marry and not to come back until he had. And so the prince set out on a journey to do precisely that.
…And with him he dragged his poor hapless servant Wilhelm, who had no choice but try to find good candidates for his Prince’ marriage; like Cinderella, Snow White and Rapunzel. It’s too bad he’s far too kind-hearted and naïve for his own good, because despite how much research he does on the subject, something always seems to go wrong, and the prince keeps giving him more and more tasks and bullies him. It doesn’t help that Wilhelm cries very easily, is a complete coward that runs and hides at any sign of danger, complains loudly about any chore he’s assigned… and then still does them all to the best of his ability, and is as loyal as they come. When it comes down to it, he’s perfectly happy being a servant.
Sample Post:
Did I really follow that old map correctly? This is the lost Kingdom of Camp- eh, C-camp Fuck You Die, right? …Who would even want to name their Kingdom that?! Didn’t they think of what kind of connotations a name like that has? There’s no way someone would actually want to be associated with that, is there? Of course, it’s just a cultural difference, there’s nothing to worry about, just an unfortunate implication, nothing else. That sign by the lake about Marcy’s special services is definitely just about a massage. It’s perfectly innocent. Though the Prince would probably prefer it if it wasn’t…
Where was I? Oh yes, according to this written source from a local, a certain Mister T. Ohkan, it says the ruler of the Kingdom should be one Queen Elizabeth who became so distraught when her beloved fiancé was killed that she locked up her whole country so they would never leave her. She then proceeded to use her witchcraft to humiliate and embarrass anyone that stepped into her rea- She did what?! This doesn’t sound good at all, no one warned me she was a malicious witch, and getting used to spending time with a masochistic one was bad enough, I really don’t need to get to know a sadistic one. I don’t care how many busty princesses this place is supposed to have, I’ll just find another Kingdom for the prince to look for one in.
Why do I have to go ahead and check the place out anyway?! It’s not like anything more than a photo would be needed and if it’s such a remote location there should be rooms available at the Guest House! I bet he only sent me ahead so he could laugh at me getting lost in the swamp and my jacket getting caught on the local flora. Why did those seem a little bit too friendly, anyway? That’s it! I’m going to go straight back to the border and leave this place behind, no amount of gold could make me stay! I just have to take the same path back and-
Eeeeeeek! A-are-are those zombies? I’ve really gotten myself in trouble now, haven’t I? Please don’t come any closer! I promise you I’m not tasty at all! I probably work all too much, so my meat would be too tough. O-oh, you’re all female zombies? I’m sure you’re all very beautiful by your own standards, but my instructions were clearly to look for a pair of breasts still attached to the body! Nooo! That doesn’t mean I want them. God, help me save my chastity, make them stay away from meeee!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kagura
Series: Gintama
Character Age: 13-14
Canon: The premise behind Gintama is simple. Aliens invade Edo Japan, swords become banned and samurai are left jobless. Former 'White Demon' samurai Sakata Gintoki is left running Odd Jobs Gin, as a freelancer with super strength alien 'China' girl, Kagura and glasses wearing straight man, Shinpachi. But really Odd Jobs Gin barely makes enough money to fund Gintoki's Weekly Jump and sugar addiction and they're constantly behind on the rent. The series itself is a giant anachronism stew that punches the fourth wall on a regular basis and is constantly toeing the line when it comes to copyright laws (they avoid this by bleeping out sensitive words) and class. Oh, and sometimes there's a plot.
The core of Kagura's character is the innocent little girl type, but this canon is determined to break every single 'moe' trope it can. For example, she holds the very special honor of being the first Weekly Jump heroine to throw up. While she can be naive and, dare I say, cute, she's a complete brat. She likes to act like the jaded smart-ass adult figure despite not knowing much at all. She's immature, smug, pushy and a poor loser who will resort to incredibly cheap tactics in order to win. She also has an never ending appetite with an equally greedy personality to match. But she's a good girl, honestly! Unlike the rest of her Yato race, she suppresses her instincts to kill, she just has no qualms about beating the crap out of people, stepping on people's self esteem or... well, you get the idea.
Note: There's really no difference, but the app is written using the anime canon produced by Sunrise. Fujita is the previous director.
Sample Post:
Hi, this is Kagura from Odd Jobs Gin here to catch your running fridge! Come on, I need to eat enough on this job to last me two days, so where's that fridge? Of course, I'm going to wipe the contents that fridge clean. What, are you stupid? You're stupid, aren't you! Well you should've thought ahead before you agreed to this. Caveat emptor and all, or was it empty cavity? Either way, your loss. Hah!
What's the big idea! Where's the fridge already. You've got three seconds before I beat the truth of ya. What about my reward? So this was all a trick to get me to bust you guys out of prison, huh. Forget it! You don't even have food, you definitely don't got any money. You guys can't even afford to keep your limbs attached. You don't even got any balls! I'll never trust another rotting zombie corpse again! Odd Jobs Gin doesn't do pro-bono and don't try to swindle me with this "for the greater good" stuff! The greater good doesn't fill my stomach at all. I'm a growing girl, you know. Solve your own problems, I'm going home.
The Director won't let me out? You know, this is why I don't trust newbies. He's only done 19 episodes so far and he's already this cocky! I'm issuing a complaint. You hear me, Sunrise?! I'm demanding Fujita-san back. We've been through thick and thin together. Low ratings, time slots changes and complaints from the PTA. He'd know better than to throw the show into a never ending filler arc like *BEEP* and *BEEP*. Look how badly Infinity Eight is working for H*r*hi. I knew we were running out of source material to adapt, but we worked really hard to fool the audience and buy time for the manga for pull ahead, uh huh!
Hey, bird brains, what are you doing in my inner monolgue! And you should've said so earlier! That director, she's ten years too early to think she can trap me in some b-grade horror movie plot. Cute, innocent girls like me are always the first to go! Women should get over their loser exes and find someone better. Director Shmector! This pisses me off. I'm going to beat the crap out of her. Alright, you brainless buffoons, I'm busting out of here. You can follow if you can keep up, but I'm not doing it for you. And I expect 10 years worth of pickled seaweed in compensation, damn it!
So stay tuned next week for GuraTama. I, your new main character Gura-san, will make the director kneel and call me, Madame Foreman! Later on, I'll show you how prepare Pedoro Bear with rice. Look forward to it!
... that it? Is this long enough yet? Apping sure is tough. Ah, who cares. I'll just add a bunch of line
breaks
and
no one
will
tell
the
difference.
Poll Vote!
First Applicant
Character: Korea/Im Yong Soo
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 15-16
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia (APH) is the humorous story of the world through the lens of history. Although written by a Japanese man, it is really an invention of Korea, since Japan itself was settled by immigrants from the Korean Peninsula!!1! APH focuses primarily on the Roman Empire, the Renaissance and Reformation Years, World War I, World War II, and the modern day. Sadly, most of the attention in the series is given to nations like Italy, Germany, or America, who (although they are good to study in and visit) have not created or done anything of note, unlike Korea.
Im Yong Soo, the personification of Korea, is nationalistic, loud, and very proud of how everything from romance to food to Confucius originated in him. Although he enjoys harassing his bro China and Japan, Korea likes to take their things and is very fond of them when they are not busy beating him up or invading his home. Since he was first born he has suffered many hardships and invasions, primarily by Russia and Japan, was indebted to China for a long time, and was threatened by other Western nations. All this has done, however, is strengthen his belief in his importance and significance to other countries and given him some good material to use in those incredibly melodramatic and over the top Kdramas.
*Byung Hun Lee is like the Brad Pitt of Korean Dramas.
Sample Post:
What a great place, America! Hello zombies! Wassup, squid! This is just like the setting of one of my video games. If I created a game based off of this, it'd be very popular, especially if I put it on the Internet. It might even be better than StarCraft! Of course, it'll outsell Nintendo and Sony, since creativity originated in me! You'll buy the yearly paid account with fifteen extra add-on userpics and 2 GB of photo storage again, right? It's so much cheaper than paying monthly or buying one of Japan's games! Looking for bargains originated in me, too, and my people know how to give you a good deal.
But the more I look, the more I realize this would be the perfect setting for my new super amazing drama! It'll be a fusion romance-horror, starring Byung Hun Lee as the hero trapped in the underworld and looking for the spirit of his girlfriend, who was killed by her evil stepmother after getting amnesia from the accident she got into because of the shock of discovering she was dying of cancer! I'll make her blind, too, so that the audience will sympathize with her more. It'll be the perfect mixture of realism and fantasy! I'll name the lustful but tragic step-brother after China to show my affection. He'll be so touched! Or maybe I should name him after Japan since he commits suicide in the end? Bro, which would be best? Do you want to be in my drama or should Japan be? Bro?
Brooooooo! ♥
Eh...? Am I the only one here? America, where did you go? It's rude to leave your guest alone at your place. If you're not careful, I'm gonna cast you as the evil step-brother. Everyone knows that Westerners are only good in movies as butlers and evil-doers. They're not stylish or well-known at all! Just like Hyundai, all the most famous and popular things originated in Korea! Ah, more importantly, America even said that Hyundais are the best cars he ever saw! Because everything in my house is made by Hyundai, all my actors are the most talented as well! America is so lucky that I'm gonna film this in his house. Think of all the tourism this will get him! With all this attention, he could become the Korea of the West! He's already close because there are many similarities between our two homes. My house has many, many guerillas in it too. America must've gotten them when he was visiting my place that one time. I was right! He's trying to make his house more like mine! He's even got a tentacle monster and since tentacles originated in Japan and Japan originated in me, it's proof that he's copying me! KOREA IS NUMBER ONE!!
Second Applicant
Character: Korea (Im Yong Su)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 15-16
Canon: Axis powers Hetalia is about anthropomorphic countries and follows along with history(wars, countries relations) mainly around the time of World War l and ll, with each countries character displaying some of the common stereotypes.
Korea can be very loud and outgoing... possibly a little too outgoing at times and can rather be a bit obnoxious. He has his serious moments though and family is something that's pretty important to him. He calls China, Aniki(big brother) and knows China definitely likes him a lot(though China himself may not actually agree with that). He also likes/hates Japan. He also likes telling everyone about what originated in Korea(Which, according to him, is everything good), and Korean dramas.
Sample Post:
Aniki? Anikiii~? Hm. Maybe he's off making something for me. He could even be--Wow! Is that a zombie? A real zombie! That's pretty awesome!
Hello, there Zombie! You know, you're the first zombie I've met! Don't worry though, I'm liking you already! In fact, you can even call me Aniki! Bet you always wanted one right? Well now you've got the best one! Say, we're pretty close now, right? Do you think... It would be all right if I touch your chest, right? I mean, I'm sure they won't be as good as my Aniki's, but it couldn't hurt to try-Hey! Where are you going?!
Come back! I can't believe you're not cooperating! You do realize that centuries ago, on a dark stormy night, Korea was being bullied by that mean Japan and he slaved to create something that would stop all the bullying and ended up making a zombie! You knew that, right? That zombies originated in Korea. So doesn't it only seem right if I'm allowed to feel you? Zombiiiiiie! Wait up! Oh.
Oh wow.
Your whole arm just came right off. And now you're just kind of dripping parts everywhere... You know, you're actually not put together so well... Never mind, you didn't originate in Korea.... Oh hey! See that? That's a really neat tree. Now something like that originated in Korea. Not zombies that can't even stay together. Wait, what's going on?! That tree's actually dropping leaves pretty fast. I bet it'll probably be bare soon... Well... maybe that one came from Japan or somewhere else instead too... Yes, yes, that must be it. Definitely not from Korea though.
Aniki! That's right, I should go back to searching for him, I'm sure he's probably worried about me, he does get that way after all and I can't leave him alone for too long.
Hey Anikiiii? Don't worry, I'll find you soon~!
Poll Vote!