(no subject)
I'M RUNNING OFF TO WORK so have another batch. Remember to vote on Eryne's while it's still open!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Leopard
Series: The Girl Who Leapt Through Space
Character Age: 50+*
Canon: Fifty years ago, the Shishedo Conglomerate created a technological marvel: an artificial intelligence, or ‘Brain’, called Nerval, designed to improve human life in space by perfectly micromanaging life in a new ‘Brain Colony’. This was all well and good until Nerval decided that the best way to improve human life was to put everyone in boxes. That sucked. So the Shishedos built another Brain, Leopard, who exploded Nerval temporarily. Unfortunately, the government then removed critical components of Leopard’s colony and sent Leopard off to sleep around Jupiter. Awakening half a century later, Leopard returns to Earth and encounters ambitionless Shishedo Akiha, and finds himself teaming up with the Shishedos to fight Nerval again.
While his nemesis is sane but evil, Leopard is good but completely batshit. Despite styling himself as a wise and refined gentleman (‘a lone, noble wandering soul’ and ‘the most moe character in all space’), Leopard is really a vain, delusional, eccentric, self-centered, reclusive, overreacting, loud, spazzing, insulting, and generally rude giant supercomputer baby who does seriously weird stuff to entertain himself. But because he hates Nerval, doesn’t want to box people, and can occasionally be harassed into acting charitable, this crazy AI is, weirdly enough, humanity’s only hope.
* AGE NOTE: Leopard was built over fifty years ago, but spent most of that time in hibernation. Other Brains call him a ‘little kid’, and Leopard claims that if he were human, he’d anthropomorphize as a seventeen-year-old.
Sample Entry:
‘Toucans squawk loudly.
I prefer locals singing
Praise of Leopard’.
With that brilliant haiku from Leopard, we begin today’s broadcast of Radio Leopard, the only program produced by Leopard, for Leopard, about Leopard. This is your host Leopard, bringing Leopard an exciting special on ‘Leopard in Camp Fuck You Die’, with a native admirer here to discuss the many wonders of Leopard. Which aspect of Leopard’s inspiring presence could he choose? Maybe he’ll discuss Leopard’s many accomplishments as a tea connoisseur, able to discern the subtle bouquet of radioactive waste and the aftertaste of tentacle slime in the cafeteria’s green tea. Perhaps he’ll remind everyone that this is pledge week - every pledge to call in and discuss the many wonders of Leopard helps keep the programming you love on the air. Then again, there’s admiration of the super-advanced processing capacity that puts the amateur poll-responding antics of local computing devices to shame…!
With the native life forms here saying such flattering but completely true things about me, I’ll have to remember to stay modest.
HAHA. LIKE HELL I WILL!
So, Rotting Carcass! What insights do you have to share about the many wonders of the great Leopard? ‘Delicious Brain’? Oho, remarkably observant! Even a creature with eyeballs rolling around on the floor can observe the unrivaled genius of artificial intelligence, the completely cool head, the superior logic, this hard, firm, sculptured, completely cubical body -- duaaaaaaaaaaaawwk!
R-Rotting Carcass! What the hell is this? Those rotting gums and the grabbing hands leaving grimy trails all over my skin -- I don’t find being bitten complimentary at all! Whatever organic impulse you have to consume big Brains, know that the sovereign soul of this elegant traveler is mine and mine alone, not to be shared among decomposing lowlifes! Which is to say that you should remove your fingers from that wiring immedi -- aaaaaaaaaurghaaah!
Fuck zombies! I’m delicate, do you understand? Delicate! But I understand. If your carnal impulses lead to such violent tendencies, then I shall embark upon a path of seclusion, departing this campground and removing the temptation for circuitry and wiring from the gaping jaws of fans hungry for my vast intelligence! I’m remarkably generous as always! No matter how many times you call out for Brains, I shall remain far out of reach, biding my time until I can journey the swamps of Camp Fuck You Die without inciting violent hungers and the ravages of clinging fingers…!
SO LONG! MUAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA--ack! O-oy, Rotting Carcass! Do I have to explain myself again? Removing my glorious self from your presence requires that you remove your teeth!
Poll Vote!
Character name: Marta Lualdi
Series: Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
Age: 16
Canon: Two years after the first game, the world isn’t as peaceful as people would like it to be. Not only because of the monster population was acting strangely or the fact that the weather was all out of control, but also because a new prejudice was born from merging the worlds. The Tethe’allans treat the Sylvarantis like jocks do nerds, and as a result, a group called the Vanguards was formed to combat the Tethe’allans’ oppression, and the conflict eventually grew violent. In hope of ending all these problems, Marta Lualdi embarks on a journey to collect all pokemon Centurion Cores in order to awaken Ratatosk, with the help of a dog-like creature named Tenebrae and her ~*prince charming*~ Emil.
Marta is a strong-willed girl with a quick temper, who can be a bit bossy. Like any typical girl, Marta likes cute things and she's also a romantic, believing in all forms of love. This is especially true when it comes to her own love for Emil, which can border on delusional. Marta is afraid of being useless, but no matter how tough or capable she may try to present herself, the truth is that she's quite dependent, and there are many situations where she finds herself to be helpless. Still, that doesn't stop her from doing certain things on her own. Even though she admits that she's sometimes selfish, she'll always put helping others as a priority over herself, choosing to put herself in danger if it means she could help someone else.
Sample Entry:
Ugh, gorillas are the worst! Don’t they know how to treat a cute girl like me better? I mean, sure they’re technically kidnapping me here but I still came willingly! Can't they be a little more considerate? Carrying a girl over your shoulder definitely isn’t a way to treat a girl, so while it’s a bit unladylike for me to have thrown up on him, I’m not sorry at all because he deserved it! Besides, it gave me a chance to sneak out of that “Mess Hall” place he put me in while he went to clean up, so now that Operation: Sneaking In is successful, I should set out on what I’m really here to do!
So... This is it, huh? That “Camp” place rumored to be capturing random people. The security looks tight; there are a lot of monsters around; a lot of zombies, some bird type monsters in the trees, and more of those gorillas. I think I can manage though. I'll just have to look for wherever it is that they're holding Emil, then we could work to save everyone else and finally go back on our quest for the cores and then we both could--! Ooh now I'm embarrassing myself, I shouldn't be planning that far ahead. Even if I wish it could be true ♥ Now let's see...from this place, there seems to be a path to a forest or a lake. If I go to the forest, I might be able to hide in the trees, but at the same time I might get lost. On the other hand, the lake may be easier to go to, but I also risk getting caught. What should I-- Wait. Is that a zombie attacking something? I should go help it...! Hey! You there! Who do you think you are, and what do you think you’re doing?! Stop attacking that cute furry white creature right now or I swear I'll hurt you! No? Well then, you asked for it!
...eww this is just great. Now I have zombie slime all over me, so I guess I have no choice but to go clean up at the lake. Why do things like these always have to happen to me? But enough about me, are you all right? I hope that zombie didn't hurt you. Oh, your name is Moogle? That's a cute name! I'm glad you aren't hurt, though it really must be tough for you to live here. I know I haven't been here long, but do they have to be mean to not only girls like me, but cute animals like you? Huh...? You'll allow me to "save my game" in return for saving you? Well, I don't know what that means, but you don't need to thank me! I'm just doing what's right. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a bath.
Wait... you're confusing me now. Why do I especially need to save my game if I want to bathe in the lake?
Poll Vote!
Character: Garnet til Alexandros, aka Dagger
Series: Final Fantasy IX
Character Age: Sixteen.
Canon: Final Fantasy IX: Boy meets girl. Boy attempts to kidnap girl, only said girl is a princess who asks to be kidnapped by the boy in order to figure out how to stop the power-hungry queen. A silver haired man who looks a whole lot like a girl reveals himself as a force to be reckoned with, working with said evil queen, and our heroes form an unlikely group as they trek across the world in order to figure out how to well, save it. It's Final Fantasy going back to its roots, with more references to previous titles in the series than you can shake a stick at. High fantasy at its finest, complete with epic airship battles, romance, and the fate of the planet in the balance!
Garnet is the princess of Alexandria, and at first glance, she seems like a walking stereotype. She’s a shy, sweet white mage and summoner combination, which is pretty much staple for a fair few of the games in the series. But don’t judge a book by its cover, for Garnet is very determined, and she will not hesitate while reaching for her goal. She’s also capable of being very kind, and all she really wants is what’s best for her people. If that means getting herself kidnapped (and subsequently married), then so be it. She’s really curious, really eager to try new things, and her summoning was something she used to be afraid of. Now, though, it’s something she’s embraced and it has become a defining aspect of her character.
Sample Post:
You look a great deal like an eidolon, Marcy. Does that mean I might have the honor of taking you along with me in a gemstone? I didn’t know there would be new summons when I agreed to come to this new location to help the moogles. Will you help me, Marcy? I’m going to need some help to ensure that the moogles get their proper rights.
Oh. You’re not an eidolon, Marcy? But you look like them. Does that mean I can’t take you along with me? Oh, what are you then? Because if you’re not an eidolon, does that mean you’re a monster of some sort? Oh, no, Marcy! I didn't mean to imply that you were a monster. It’s just that I’ve come here in order to help the moogles with their current predicament, and I had hoped to have some help while doing this. Things are always accomplished better when you have a strong team working alongside you. Don’t you agree, Marcy?
Marcy, we've just met. Please keep your tentacles to yourself for the moment.
Oh, so you want to know why I’m so invested in helping the moogles? Well, I know my home is safe right now, and I left it behind in very capable hands. But I received a very peculiar letter, saying that moogles were being harmed around here, and that they needed help. The moogles I’ve met during my travels have been kind to me, and I can’t just abandon them in their current hour of need! At least I need to try and help them because it’s important to let others share in your burdens, which was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I have to remind myself that everyone-humans, moogles, and yes, Marcy, even lake creatures-needs help sometimes. So I'm going to do my best to offer that help!
Marcy! Marcy! Stop hugging me so tightly! I can't breathe. Does this mean you’ll help?
Poll Vote!
Character: Edward Elric
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist, manga-verse
Character age: 15
Canon: Alchemy. The super-scientific not-magic art of understanding, decomposing, and rearranging matter using drawings of fancy circles. Four years ago, Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse attempted to use alchemy to resurrect their mother, and paid the price, with the loss of Ed's arm and leg (now replaced by mechanical "automail" versions), and his brother's entire body. Now, Ed's entire raison d'etre is to find a way to restore Al's body, even if it means enlisting himself as a dog of the military to do it.
Ed is smart, analytical, and short tempered. A genius alchemist from a very young age, he was easily able to pass the military exams and become the youngest State Alchemist ever admitted. As such, one might expect him to be arrogant and over-confident... especially since that's the face he frequently shows to the public. However, he's chosen a difficult path of hardship and sacrifice few truly know about, one requiring strength and determination. His morals have derailed his quest more than once, but he still remains focused on finding a way to complete it, without bringing harm to anyone else along the way. His interactions with those he meets on his journey run the gamut from polite and mature to fiery tirades, especially if any mention of his small stature is involved.
Sample entry:
Eugh... what the hell is this? A swamp? Seriously? You'd think with all the people I asked about this place, one of them would have mentioned it being in a swamp. All those rumors of "It's supposedly a camp, but something's strange." And "Apparently only little kids can get in, so you won't have trouble." Pfeh. I am not a tiny baby just out of diapers! I'm not small, dammit! Though it was easy to get through that barrier... not that it's all that great. Just trees and vines and mud oozing into my boots. And why does it sting? Mud's not supposed to sting! Strange barriers, evil mud, isolated in the middle of nowhere... they must really want to keep people out. Too bad for them. I've seen much worse, this is nothing. I'm gonna find this camp, and find out what's going on.
I must be going the right way, the vines are getting thicker. Better stay on guard, there might be traps or lookouts or something. Whoever's behind this isn't going to rely on mud and vines... d-did that vine just move? By itself? Oooookay. Maybe they can rely on mud and vines. I've never seen anything like that before... think I'll take a closer look. Hm... doesn't look like there's an obvious trick to making it move... er... is something touching my l-leg...? EEEUGH get out get out GET OUT! Hold still! Gotcha!
Nngh, stop fighting, plant! Give up, I'm not letting go. Phew, that's better. W-wait... d-did you just do what I asked? W-was that a... a n-nod? You can understand me? Erk... you aren't... w-were you... h-human? No? Y-you're sure? N-not some kid... Okay! Okay! Calm down! I get it! You're not human! Oh thank god, just the thought of a human-plant chimera makes me sick. So... can you talk? No? I didn't think so... but you never know. Not having a mouth doesn't always mean no talking. I guess I can't learn much from you... but whoever made you used some really high level alchemy. Maybe even something that could help Al... Hey, Plant, if I let go of you, will you behave? No more touching? Okay.
That alchemist who did this can't be far off. The swamp's not very friendly, so he's probably at that camp I came looking for... I hope it's not a cover for experiments using kids. Plant! You'd better not be lying to me about not being human, okay? I probably shouldn't, but I'm trusting your answer. So... if there's a camp, that means there's people I can talk to. I'd bet at least one of them knows about you, and can tell me how you work. Which way do I go to get there? That way? Thanks! All right! All I have to do is find my way through this swamp, and if I'm lucky, I'll finally find someone with the answers I've been looking for. Should've asked the plant how far away it was... oh! There's someone... Hey! You over there! I'm trying to find the camp, is it close? Oh, you can take me there? Great! Just let me get over to you... what was that? ...s-shorty...? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BUG SO SMALL HE CAN'T EVEN SINK INTO THE MUD?!
Poll Vote!
Character name: Touya Akira
Series: Hikaru no Go
Age: 15
Canon: Have you ever played a game where the pieces make dramatic entries on the board, tension fills the air and the players have an intensity like nothing else while playing? This is where it happens. At the age of 12, Shindou Hikaru is whisked into the world of the complicated board game of Go after meeting the ghost of an ancient professional Go player named Sai, who teaches him the game. After using Sai's skills to beat a kid his own age named Touya Akira, Hikaru gets determined to learn the game for himself. Akira, while walking his path to become a top professional Go player, realizes it isn’t quite as straight as he thought it’d be after playing Sai. He chases Sai in Hikaru's shadow, but when faced with and disappointed by Hikaru's own rookie weakness he decides to leave him behind, which causes Hikaru to chase Akira to show him he's worthy, which in turn makes Akira determined to get further ahead of him. And thus, the circle of life continues (AND IT MOVES US ALL).
Touya Akira is ruthless and shows no mercy when it comes to battling... on the Go board, that is. He respects and sometimes fears those stronger than himself, but doesn't let that discourage him. Having been raised to play Go, Akira is an extremely determined and focused prodigy, and was already at a professional level at the age of 12. His world revolves around Go, and when not playing, he is polite and quiet, and has next to no friends his own age due to spending most of his time with the older generation of Go players (which also says a thing or two about his sense of fashion and long hair). Often seeming unreachable and a tad socially retarded, Akira isn’t very well-liked due to the innocent and simple honesty he shows in his confidence when playing the game. It seems completely impossible to make him angry or reckless about his play outwardly, which sometimes infuriates people. But that's just the way Akira is.
Note: The "Hand of God" is displayed in the series as the Ultimate Move you can play out. Everyone seeks to reach it.
Sample Post:
I was told there was a lack of Go instructors in camp, and that I am supposed to spend some time here "until the clients learn the basics of the game". But, the clients-- are these zombies?! There must be some horrible mistake. This is ridiculous. I'm not quite sure I'm not hallucinating. No, I do not think gorillas or birds are better options. I am not sure if this is going to work out quite the way I was imagining, but if the institute issued it, I guess it has to be genuine... Now, would anyone mind lending me a hand? I need to set these boards up--
I-I did not mean that literally! Please take that back! T-thank you. Let us try again, shall we?
My name is Touya Akira, and I am assigned to make you all good enough to win the first annual camp Go-tournament in ten years, so we need to get started. How this is annual, I do not know, but... No, no chewing on the boards! Please. And spit those out. This is a game, not a supply of food, and I do not care if you think the stones look like M&Ms. Here, I will explain. You place the stones on the board when you play. Yes, you can place them with your beak if you want to. Now, to catch a stone, you--
I would appreciate it if you did not place your fingernails on the board. No, not your teeth either. Use the stones for playing, the stones. ...The Go stones-- I said Go, not gall. Please put that away. What? If there is a prize? I would not know. "Lingerie from the underwear tree"? That is... no. I do not care what you want to do with the prize, but I have no interest in that. If we could get back to playing...? Yes, that is right, so if you would play against the toucan here and the other zombie play against-- stop! You do not pick out your opponent's eyes to play with! You-- want to play blind Go now? No, we are supposed to do this properly, so please pay attention. I will determine who is the strongest by watching your games, and then they will play me.
That move is not going to work; you are just going to lose that cluster of stones if you continue like that. What-- don't place that there, that's a really reckless hand! You need to learn more solid playing or you'll never reach completion. You couldn't even try to get near the Hand of God like this. Wait... what?! What do you mean, "Marcy knows The Hand of God"? ...Show me to them. Now. Making a statement like that... I do not intend to sit around without playing against someone who claims to be that strong. If they are so good, then I wonder why they have not shared their knowledge with the rest of you instead of asking me to teach. You should practice in the meantime. ... I-- Who told you you need a skirt to play? That is ridiculous. Take that off and show me where this Marcy is instead. What do you mean my clothes are worse? And the stones are still not candy. Neither do you use them to write things. ... "I... love you"? No, thank you. No.
...what?
No, Go does not mean you go, girl. I'm not a girl!
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Hikaru
Series: Hikaru no Go
Character Age: 15
Canon: Shindou Hikaru, a very normal Japanese kid who loves ramen and likes to dress in clothes marked with the number 5, was in need of pocket money. He needed money a lot more than his grandparents needed the old Go-board in their attic, he decided, and went to fetch and sell it. Upon finding the board, Hikaru also found the 1000+ year old ghost that possessed it. As the ghost needed something more moveable to place the Go stones for him, he decided to instead take lodging in Hikaru’s head. After many ifs and buts, Hikaru made a pact with the ghost - called Sai - to let him play his beloved Go if he helped him with his history homework.
Though at first,Go only was something that he had to do to keep Sai happy, Hikaru’s interest for the game awakens, and even after through the game, he matures and discovers new sides of himself, developing from a rather rude and loud twelve year old boy to… a rather rude and loud fifteen year old. Hikaru also has a strong sense of justice, and though he likes to brag about his accomplishments, he learns to also be humble when faced with the truth about his own weaknesses.
Sample Post:
Honestly, I bet even a scarecrow could play better than these guys. They keep telling me they want to ‘traiiiin’, but when I try to explain to them it’s like they’re not even trying to focus and learn! I don’t think even I used to be this scattered in the beginning… And I don’t know how many times I asked them to keep their eyes properly on the board, but I bet you can’t guess how that went. One of them actually ended up putting their eyes on the board! So I told him that ‘if you’re were just gonna waste my time, I’d find someone else to teach. There are plenty of people here who can fit into the description of ‘dying to play Go’, so don’t think that you’re special.’ I’ve never been given such a vague contract for a teaching job before, isn’t it odd…?
And I really wish that these people would stop offering me new clothes. I keep hearing at home that I don’t have the right look for a pro, but trust me, whatever old monkey told them out to get me red shoes and a dress didn’t know what they were talking about. That’s not the formal dress code for a pro, trust me, I don’t think that half of the geezers even know that you can dress in anything but a suit.
Talking about monkeys… This one has been tugging at my shirt for a while now. Do you wanna play or what? I’ve never played a monkey before, but I don’t think they can be much worse than Green-and-falling-apart over there. If you don’t know Go, it’s okay, I’ll teach you. You can place eight stones, to begin with, and then I go here, you go here, and then you go here, and you’ve captured my stone, see? And now I... What? No, I’m not taking my shirt off because you captured my stone! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard! I don’t care if you think it’ll spice things up or whatever; there’s no such thing as strip Go! I knew it, you were just after my shirt the whole time, weren’t you? I’ve already told you I’m not putting on the stupid dress!
I don’t get it, no one even seems to know what Go is around here. How is it even possible that you haven’t heard of it? Everyone in Japan knows what Go is, it’s like our national game! …what do you mean I’m ‘not in Kansas anymore’? I’ve never been to Kansas in entire my life… And I’m not putting on the shoes either, not unless it helps me to find a strong opponent, which I doubt-you’re saying you’ll guide me to one if I put on the outfit? And this Marcy-something is how strong? Very strong? Super strong? Alright then, you’re on! …but I’m not putting on the dress. Okay? Hold these and I’ll try to fit… Hey. Hey! What are you doing GET BACK HERE WITH MY SHOES.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Leopard
Series: The Girl Who Leapt Through Space
Character Age: 50+*
Canon: Fifty years ago, the Shishedo Conglomerate created a technological marvel: an artificial intelligence, or ‘Brain’, called Nerval, designed to improve human life in space by perfectly micromanaging life in a new ‘Brain Colony’. This was all well and good until Nerval decided that the best way to improve human life was to put everyone in boxes. That sucked. So the Shishedos built another Brain, Leopard, who exploded Nerval temporarily. Unfortunately, the government then removed critical components of Leopard’s colony and sent Leopard off to sleep around Jupiter. Awakening half a century later, Leopard returns to Earth and encounters ambitionless Shishedo Akiha, and finds himself teaming up with the Shishedos to fight Nerval again.
While his nemesis is sane but evil, Leopard is good but completely batshit. Despite styling himself as a wise and refined gentleman (‘a lone, noble wandering soul’ and ‘the most moe character in all space’), Leopard is really a vain, delusional, eccentric, self-centered, reclusive, overreacting, loud, spazzing, insulting, and generally rude giant supercomputer baby who does seriously weird stuff to entertain himself. But because he hates Nerval, doesn’t want to box people, and can occasionally be harassed into acting charitable, this crazy AI is, weirdly enough, humanity’s only hope.
* AGE NOTE: Leopard was built over fifty years ago, but spent most of that time in hibernation. Other Brains call him a ‘little kid’, and Leopard claims that if he were human, he’d anthropomorphize as a seventeen-year-old.
Sample Entry:
‘Toucans squawk loudly.
I prefer locals singing
Praise of Leopard’.
With that brilliant haiku from Leopard, we begin today’s broadcast of Radio Leopard, the only program produced by Leopard, for Leopard, about Leopard. This is your host Leopard, bringing Leopard an exciting special on ‘Leopard in Camp Fuck You Die’, with a native admirer here to discuss the many wonders of Leopard. Which aspect of Leopard’s inspiring presence could he choose? Maybe he’ll discuss Leopard’s many accomplishments as a tea connoisseur, able to discern the subtle bouquet of radioactive waste and the aftertaste of tentacle slime in the cafeteria’s green tea. Perhaps he’ll remind everyone that this is pledge week - every pledge to call in and discuss the many wonders of Leopard helps keep the programming you love on the air. Then again, there’s admiration of the super-advanced processing capacity that puts the amateur poll-responding antics of local computing devices to shame…!
With the native life forms here saying such flattering but completely true things about me, I’ll have to remember to stay modest.
HAHA. LIKE HELL I WILL!
So, Rotting Carcass! What insights do you have to share about the many wonders of the great Leopard? ‘Delicious Brain’? Oho, remarkably observant! Even a creature with eyeballs rolling around on the floor can observe the unrivaled genius of artificial intelligence, the completely cool head, the superior logic, this hard, firm, sculptured, completely cubical body -- duaaaaaaaaaaaawwk!
R-Rotting Carcass! What the hell is this? Those rotting gums and the grabbing hands leaving grimy trails all over my skin -- I don’t find being bitten complimentary at all! Whatever organic impulse you have to consume big Brains, know that the sovereign soul of this elegant traveler is mine and mine alone, not to be shared among decomposing lowlifes! Which is to say that you should remove your fingers from that wiring immedi -- aaaaaaaaaurghaaah!
Fuck zombies! I’m delicate, do you understand? Delicate! But I understand. If your carnal impulses lead to such violent tendencies, then I shall embark upon a path of seclusion, departing this campground and removing the temptation for circuitry and wiring from the gaping jaws of fans hungry for my vast intelligence! I’m remarkably generous as always! No matter how many times you call out for Brains, I shall remain far out of reach, biding my time until I can journey the swamps of Camp Fuck You Die without inciting violent hungers and the ravages of clinging fingers…!
SO LONG! MUAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA--ack! O-oy, Rotting Carcass! Do I have to explain myself again? Removing my glorious self from your presence requires that you remove your teeth!
Poll Vote!
Character name: Marta Lualdi
Series: Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
Age: 16
Canon: Two years after the first game, the world isn’t as peaceful as people would like it to be. Not only because of the monster population was acting strangely or the fact that the weather was all out of control, but also because a new prejudice was born from merging the worlds. The Tethe’allans treat the Sylvarantis like jocks do nerds, and as a result, a group called the Vanguards was formed to combat the Tethe’allans’ oppression, and the conflict eventually grew violent. In hope of ending all these problems, Marta Lualdi embarks on a journey to collect all pokemon Centurion Cores in order to awaken Ratatosk, with the help of a dog-like creature named Tenebrae and her ~*prince charming*~ Emil.
Marta is a strong-willed girl with a quick temper, who can be a bit bossy. Like any typical girl, Marta likes cute things and she's also a romantic, believing in all forms of love. This is especially true when it comes to her own love for Emil, which can border on delusional. Marta is afraid of being useless, but no matter how tough or capable she may try to present herself, the truth is that she's quite dependent, and there are many situations where she finds herself to be helpless. Still, that doesn't stop her from doing certain things on her own. Even though she admits that she's sometimes selfish, she'll always put helping others as a priority over herself, choosing to put herself in danger if it means she could help someone else.
Sample Entry:
Ugh, gorillas are the worst! Don’t they know how to treat a cute girl like me better? I mean, sure they’re technically kidnapping me here but I still came willingly! Can't they be a little more considerate? Carrying a girl over your shoulder definitely isn’t a way to treat a girl, so while it’s a bit unladylike for me to have thrown up on him, I’m not sorry at all because he deserved it! Besides, it gave me a chance to sneak out of that “Mess Hall” place he put me in while he went to clean up, so now that Operation: Sneaking In is successful, I should set out on what I’m really here to do!
So... This is it, huh? That “Camp” place rumored to be capturing random people. The security looks tight; there are a lot of monsters around; a lot of zombies, some bird type monsters in the trees, and more of those gorillas. I think I can manage though. I'll just have to look for wherever it is that they're holding Emil, then we could work to save everyone else and finally go back on our quest for the cores and then we both could--! Ooh now I'm embarrassing myself, I shouldn't be planning that far ahead. Even if I wish it could be true ♥ Now let's see...from this place, there seems to be a path to a forest or a lake. If I go to the forest, I might be able to hide in the trees, but at the same time I might get lost. On the other hand, the lake may be easier to go to, but I also risk getting caught. What should I-- Wait. Is that a zombie attacking something? I should go help it...! Hey! You there! Who do you think you are, and what do you think you’re doing?! Stop attacking that cute furry white creature right now or I swear I'll hurt you! No? Well then, you asked for it!
...eww this is just great. Now I have zombie slime all over me, so I guess I have no choice but to go clean up at the lake. Why do things like these always have to happen to me? But enough about me, are you all right? I hope that zombie didn't hurt you. Oh, your name is Moogle? That's a cute name! I'm glad you aren't hurt, though it really must be tough for you to live here. I know I haven't been here long, but do they have to be mean to not only girls like me, but cute animals like you? Huh...? You'll allow me to "save my game" in return for saving you? Well, I don't know what that means, but you don't need to thank me! I'm just doing what's right. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a bath.
Wait... you're confusing me now. Why do I especially need to save my game if I want to bathe in the lake?
Poll Vote!
Character: Garnet til Alexandros, aka Dagger
Series: Final Fantasy IX
Character Age: Sixteen.
Canon: Final Fantasy IX: Boy meets girl. Boy attempts to kidnap girl, only said girl is a princess who asks to be kidnapped by the boy in order to figure out how to stop the power-hungry queen. A silver haired man who looks a whole lot like a girl reveals himself as a force to be reckoned with, working with said evil queen, and our heroes form an unlikely group as they trek across the world in order to figure out how to well, save it. It's Final Fantasy going back to its roots, with more references to previous titles in the series than you can shake a stick at. High fantasy at its finest, complete with epic airship battles, romance, and the fate of the planet in the balance!
Garnet is the princess of Alexandria, and at first glance, she seems like a walking stereotype. She’s a shy, sweet white mage and summoner combination, which is pretty much staple for a fair few of the games in the series. But don’t judge a book by its cover, for Garnet is very determined, and she will not hesitate while reaching for her goal. She’s also capable of being very kind, and all she really wants is what’s best for her people. If that means getting herself kidnapped (and subsequently married), then so be it. She’s really curious, really eager to try new things, and her summoning was something she used to be afraid of. Now, though, it’s something she’s embraced and it has become a defining aspect of her character.
Sample Post:
You look a great deal like an eidolon, Marcy. Does that mean I might have the honor of taking you along with me in a gemstone? I didn’t know there would be new summons when I agreed to come to this new location to help the moogles. Will you help me, Marcy? I’m going to need some help to ensure that the moogles get their proper rights.
Oh. You’re not an eidolon, Marcy? But you look like them. Does that mean I can’t take you along with me? Oh, what are you then? Because if you’re not an eidolon, does that mean you’re a monster of some sort? Oh, no, Marcy! I didn't mean to imply that you were a monster. It’s just that I’ve come here in order to help the moogles with their current predicament, and I had hoped to have some help while doing this. Things are always accomplished better when you have a strong team working alongside you. Don’t you agree, Marcy?
Marcy, we've just met. Please keep your tentacles to yourself for the moment.
Oh, so you want to know why I’m so invested in helping the moogles? Well, I know my home is safe right now, and I left it behind in very capable hands. But I received a very peculiar letter, saying that moogles were being harmed around here, and that they needed help. The moogles I’ve met during my travels have been kind to me, and I can’t just abandon them in their current hour of need! At least I need to try and help them because it’s important to let others share in your burdens, which was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I have to remind myself that everyone-humans, moogles, and yes, Marcy, even lake creatures-needs help sometimes. So I'm going to do my best to offer that help!
Marcy! Marcy! Stop hugging me so tightly! I can't breathe. Does this mean you’ll help?
Poll Vote!
Character: Edward Elric
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist, manga-verse
Character age: 15
Canon: Alchemy. The super-scientific not-magic art of understanding, decomposing, and rearranging matter using drawings of fancy circles. Four years ago, Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse attempted to use alchemy to resurrect their mother, and paid the price, with the loss of Ed's arm and leg (now replaced by mechanical "automail" versions), and his brother's entire body. Now, Ed's entire raison d'etre is to find a way to restore Al's body, even if it means enlisting himself as a dog of the military to do it.
Ed is smart, analytical, and short tempered. A genius alchemist from a very young age, he was easily able to pass the military exams and become the youngest State Alchemist ever admitted. As such, one might expect him to be arrogant and over-confident... especially since that's the face he frequently shows to the public. However, he's chosen a difficult path of hardship and sacrifice few truly know about, one requiring strength and determination. His morals have derailed his quest more than once, but he still remains focused on finding a way to complete it, without bringing harm to anyone else along the way. His interactions with those he meets on his journey run the gamut from polite and mature to fiery tirades, especially if any mention of his small stature is involved.
Sample entry:
Eugh... what the hell is this? A swamp? Seriously? You'd think with all the people I asked about this place, one of them would have mentioned it being in a swamp. All those rumors of "It's supposedly a camp, but something's strange." And "Apparently only little kids can get in, so you won't have trouble." Pfeh. I am not a tiny baby just out of diapers! I'm not small, dammit! Though it was easy to get through that barrier... not that it's all that great. Just trees and vines and mud oozing into my boots. And why does it sting? Mud's not supposed to sting! Strange barriers, evil mud, isolated in the middle of nowhere... they must really want to keep people out. Too bad for them. I've seen much worse, this is nothing. I'm gonna find this camp, and find out what's going on.
I must be going the right way, the vines are getting thicker. Better stay on guard, there might be traps or lookouts or something. Whoever's behind this isn't going to rely on mud and vines... d-did that vine just move? By itself? Oooookay. Maybe they can rely on mud and vines. I've never seen anything like that before... think I'll take a closer look. Hm... doesn't look like there's an obvious trick to making it move... er... is something touching my l-leg...? EEEUGH get out get out GET OUT! Hold still! Gotcha!
Nngh, stop fighting, plant! Give up, I'm not letting go. Phew, that's better. W-wait... d-did you just do what I asked? W-was that a... a n-nod? You can understand me? Erk... you aren't... w-were you... h-human? No? Y-you're sure? N-not some kid... Okay! Okay! Calm down! I get it! You're not human! Oh thank god, just the thought of a human-plant chimera makes me sick. So... can you talk? No? I didn't think so... but you never know. Not having a mouth doesn't always mean no talking. I guess I can't learn much from you... but whoever made you used some really high level alchemy. Maybe even something that could help Al... Hey, Plant, if I let go of you, will you behave? No more touching? Okay.
That alchemist who did this can't be far off. The swamp's not very friendly, so he's probably at that camp I came looking for... I hope it's not a cover for experiments using kids. Plant! You'd better not be lying to me about not being human, okay? I probably shouldn't, but I'm trusting your answer. So... if there's a camp, that means there's people I can talk to. I'd bet at least one of them knows about you, and can tell me how you work. Which way do I go to get there? That way? Thanks! All right! All I have to do is find my way through this swamp, and if I'm lucky, I'll finally find someone with the answers I've been looking for. Should've asked the plant how far away it was... oh! There's someone... Hey! You over there! I'm trying to find the camp, is it close? Oh, you can take me there? Great! Just let me get over to you... what was that? ...s-shorty...? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BUG SO SMALL HE CAN'T EVEN SINK INTO THE MUD?!
Poll Vote!
Character name: Touya Akira
Series: Hikaru no Go
Age: 15
Canon: Have you ever played a game where the pieces make dramatic entries on the board, tension fills the air and the players have an intensity like nothing else while playing? This is where it happens. At the age of 12, Shindou Hikaru is whisked into the world of the complicated board game of Go after meeting the ghost of an ancient professional Go player named Sai, who teaches him the game. After using Sai's skills to beat a kid his own age named Touya Akira, Hikaru gets determined to learn the game for himself. Akira, while walking his path to become a top professional Go player, realizes it isn’t quite as straight as he thought it’d be after playing Sai. He chases Sai in Hikaru's shadow, but when faced with and disappointed by Hikaru's own rookie weakness he decides to leave him behind, which causes Hikaru to chase Akira to show him he's worthy, which in turn makes Akira determined to get further ahead of him. And thus, the circle of life continues (AND IT MOVES US ALL).
Touya Akira is ruthless and shows no mercy when it comes to battling... on the Go board, that is. He respects and sometimes fears those stronger than himself, but doesn't let that discourage him. Having been raised to play Go, Akira is an extremely determined and focused prodigy, and was already at a professional level at the age of 12. His world revolves around Go, and when not playing, he is polite and quiet, and has next to no friends his own age due to spending most of his time with the older generation of Go players (which also says a thing or two about his sense of fashion and long hair). Often seeming unreachable and a tad socially retarded, Akira isn’t very well-liked due to the innocent and simple honesty he shows in his confidence when playing the game. It seems completely impossible to make him angry or reckless about his play outwardly, which sometimes infuriates people. But that's just the way Akira is.
Note: The "Hand of God" is displayed in the series as the Ultimate Move you can play out. Everyone seeks to reach it.
Sample Post:
I was told there was a lack of Go instructors in camp, and that I am supposed to spend some time here "until the clients learn the basics of the game". But, the clients-- are these zombies?! There must be some horrible mistake. This is ridiculous. I'm not quite sure I'm not hallucinating. No, I do not think gorillas or birds are better options. I am not sure if this is going to work out quite the way I was imagining, but if the institute issued it, I guess it has to be genuine... Now, would anyone mind lending me a hand? I need to set these boards up--
I-I did not mean that literally! Please take that back! T-thank you. Let us try again, shall we?
My name is Touya Akira, and I am assigned to make you all good enough to win the first annual camp Go-tournament in ten years, so we need to get started. How this is annual, I do not know, but... No, no chewing on the boards! Please. And spit those out. This is a game, not a supply of food, and I do not care if you think the stones look like M&Ms. Here, I will explain. You place the stones on the board when you play. Yes, you can place them with your beak if you want to. Now, to catch a stone, you--
I would appreciate it if you did not place your fingernails on the board. No, not your teeth either. Use the stones for playing, the stones. ...The Go stones-- I said Go, not gall. Please put that away. What? If there is a prize? I would not know. "Lingerie from the underwear tree"? That is... no. I do not care what you want to do with the prize, but I have no interest in that. If we could get back to playing...? Yes, that is right, so if you would play against the toucan here and the other zombie play against-- stop! You do not pick out your opponent's eyes to play with! You-- want to play blind Go now? No, we are supposed to do this properly, so please pay attention. I will determine who is the strongest by watching your games, and then they will play me.
That move is not going to work; you are just going to lose that cluster of stones if you continue like that. What-- don't place that there, that's a really reckless hand! You need to learn more solid playing or you'll never reach completion. You couldn't even try to get near the Hand of God like this. Wait... what?! What do you mean, "Marcy knows The Hand of God"? ...Show me to them. Now. Making a statement like that... I do not intend to sit around without playing against someone who claims to be that strong. If they are so good, then I wonder why they have not shared their knowledge with the rest of you instead of asking me to teach. You should practice in the meantime. ... I-- Who told you you need a skirt to play? That is ridiculous. Take that off and show me where this Marcy is instead. What do you mean my clothes are worse? And the stones are still not candy. Neither do you use them to write things. ... "I... love you"? No, thank you. No.
...what?
No, Go does not mean you go, girl. I'm not a girl!
Poll Vote!
Character: Shindou Hikaru
Series: Hikaru no Go
Character Age: 15
Canon: Shindou Hikaru, a very normal Japanese kid who loves ramen and likes to dress in clothes marked with the number 5, was in need of pocket money. He needed money a lot more than his grandparents needed the old Go-board in their attic, he decided, and went to fetch and sell it. Upon finding the board, Hikaru also found the 1000+ year old ghost that possessed it. As the ghost needed something more moveable to place the Go stones for him, he decided to instead take lodging in Hikaru’s head. After many ifs and buts, Hikaru made a pact with the ghost - called Sai - to let him play his beloved Go if he helped him with his history homework.
Though at first,Go only was something that he had to do to keep Sai happy, Hikaru’s interest for the game awakens, and even after through the game, he matures and discovers new sides of himself, developing from a rather rude and loud twelve year old boy to… a rather rude and loud fifteen year old. Hikaru also has a strong sense of justice, and though he likes to brag about his accomplishments, he learns to also be humble when faced with the truth about his own weaknesses.
Sample Post:
Honestly, I bet even a scarecrow could play better than these guys. They keep telling me they want to ‘traiiiin’, but when I try to explain to them it’s like they’re not even trying to focus and learn! I don’t think even I used to be this scattered in the beginning… And I don’t know how many times I asked them to keep their eyes properly on the board, but I bet you can’t guess how that went. One of them actually ended up putting their eyes on the board! So I told him that ‘if you’re were just gonna waste my time, I’d find someone else to teach. There are plenty of people here who can fit into the description of ‘dying to play Go’, so don’t think that you’re special.’ I’ve never been given such a vague contract for a teaching job before, isn’t it odd…?
And I really wish that these people would stop offering me new clothes. I keep hearing at home that I don’t have the right look for a pro, but trust me, whatever old monkey told them out to get me red shoes and a dress didn’t know what they were talking about. That’s not the formal dress code for a pro, trust me, I don’t think that half of the geezers even know that you can dress in anything but a suit.
Talking about monkeys… This one has been tugging at my shirt for a while now. Do you wanna play or what? I’ve never played a monkey before, but I don’t think they can be much worse than Green-and-falling-apart over there. If you don’t know Go, it’s okay, I’ll teach you. You can place eight stones, to begin with, and then I go here, you go here, and then you go here, and you’ve captured my stone, see? And now I... What? No, I’m not taking my shirt off because you captured my stone! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard! I don’t care if you think it’ll spice things up or whatever; there’s no such thing as strip Go! I knew it, you were just after my shirt the whole time, weren’t you? I’ve already told you I’m not putting on the stupid dress!
I don’t get it, no one even seems to know what Go is around here. How is it even possible that you haven’t heard of it? Everyone in Japan knows what Go is, it’s like our national game! …what do you mean I’m ‘not in Kansas anymore’? I’ve never been to Kansas in entire my life… And I’m not putting on the shoes either, not unless it helps me to find a strong opponent, which I doubt-you’re saying you’ll guide me to one if I put on the outfit? And this Marcy-something is how strong? Very strong? Super strong? Alright then, you’re on! …but I’m not putting on the dress. Okay? Hold these and I’ll try to fit… Hey. Hey! What are you doing GET BACK HERE WITH MY SHOES.
Poll Vote!