(no subject)
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
ETA: WHOOPS we had a double. App removed, will post again later.
Now VOTE closed
Character: Xerxes Break
Series: Pandora Hearts [ wikipedia ]
Character Age: Technically like over 70, though if one goes appearances he certainly doesn't look a day older than 26.
Job: Master of Ceremonies
Canon: Oz Vesalius's coming of age ceremony sucked. Not in the 'nobody came or gave me presents' way, but in the 'strange hooded figures tossed me into the Abyss and I almost got eaten by monsters' way. This trip to the Abyss wasn't without perks, however; Oz formed a contract with a terrifying girl/rabbit/thing named Alice and she aided in his escape from the Abyss. He just happened to come out ten years in his future. Luckily there was a welcoming party waiting for him ♥ .
Xerxes Break was part of this welcoming party, which could more appropriately be called Pandora, a group connected to the Abyss and its going ons. If appearances were anything to go by Break might be considered a gentlemanly sort with slightly eccentric tastes. Unfortunately for everyone else the smiling and cheerful facade is just that -- Break is all about using people. A vaguely polite comment, coupled with a ♥ and a thinly veiled insult is common in his speech. Break is most often straightforwardly not at all straightforward and litters his words with distractions to keep even the keenest of listeners on their toes. Break is often accompanied by a doll named Emily who is prone to saying rude things.
Sample app:
You will have to excuse my tardiness, masters and mistresses! While it may seem bordering on rude to hastily introduce myself, it seems that I've made myself so very late for this very important date. You may come to know me as Xerxes Break, and today I am your humble servant of ceremonies. Not that such a delay can be brushed aside with a simple justification, but surely you all will understand that special preparations had to be made.
What do we call this? A conglomeration of morons! Now, now, Emily, it isn't nice to call this celebration that. It's the wonderful culmination of many years of marriage! It's the anniversary of the Lady Elizabeth Sayre and his honored Lordship Stephan Debussey! In fact, Mr. Debussey is our guest of honor. . .
Oh, dear. This would be. . . this would be. . . a delay! It seems that our guest isn't here yet! Is this what they call being fashionably late? Of course there is a difference between fashionably late and just being unable to follow simple directions. . . Aaah, but none of you should repeat that to our guest. It's rude to point out someone else's failings ♥ .
While we wait for him perhaps we should have a round of riddles! How about this one: How many hands of cards did the rabbit win? Well? Any ideas? Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids! Oh, my, what are those faces for? Was that no good? Try this one: Why is a raven like a writing desk? Is it because both are wastes of space? Or maybe because they bend over to serve? You've never heard of a raven which does so? He does if you use him right ♥.
Hmmm~, maybe these are a little too hard for such esteemed dimwits, as you lords and ladies must be. Should we try something more attuned to your tastes? Something simpler? Here is where I, your humble master of ceremonies, will relay to you the tale of how I came to this glorious and decaying establishment of CFUD:
"Be that invitation to your home, hell or abode," I replied, upstarting --
"Get thee back into storm and take off your shoes before crossing the floor!
Leave no muddy footprints as token of your offer spoken!
Leave my teacups unbroken! -- take your tentacles back to the shore!
And take thy bloomers back to that tree that overlooks the shore!"
Quoth our guest of honor, Stephan Debussey: "Nevar more."
Poll So?
Character name: Schuldig
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Age: 22
Job: Camp Neurological Trespasser
Canon: Fighting evil by moonlight, selling flowers by daylight, the group known as cross white, they are the ones called-- well, yeah, Weiß. They’re four pretty-boy assassins working for an underground organisation that targets and kills off criminals untouchable by the law. They would be unbeatable if their greatest enemy, the villainous Takatori Reiji, didn’t employ his own kickass team of assassins to protect himself. Pwning Weiß by being the cooler and more interesting team, Schwarz’s members even have supernatural powers! They also assist a mysterious German organisation in a role identical to Weiß, only, you know, on the dark side.
Schuldig, as a telepath, is perhaps the most enigmatic member of Schwarz. With a taste for mental mayhem, he won't back down from an opportunity to create chaos and torment, using his victim's own mind as a playground. It genuinely amuses him to torment his enemies and victims with their own inner turmoil, playing with them as a cat would with mice. He’s a sadist, masochist and flamboyant in his manners, with a slight disregard for authority, and doesn’t hold it against himself to be rude and arrogant. The only disadvantage he has found through his power is that sometimes he is unable to tell which thoughts are his own. He also possesses an uncanny speed, which in combination with his telepathy can be mistaken for teleporting.
Notes: Schuldig = Guilty, Schwarz = Black, Weiß = White.
Sample Post:
So you’re interested in psychotherapy? Let’s make this short. Can’t say I’m licensed really anywhere, but I’ve provided my services in the mental field for longer than I can remember, and I know my areas of expertise quite well. As it is, that’s not important here. Let’s start with a name, shall we? I’ve noted it’s Marcy. You seem to be suffering from some sort of withdrawal, and I can’t blame you for your behaviour~ Virgin boys to even experienced ones, as long as they’re young, you just can’t help yourself, can you? Nasty little problem you have there. Well, that doesn’t matter, just as long as it remains interesting because they’re unknowing about your intentions.
I’m all for helping you out with this, it seems entertaining, to say the least. It’s relationships with others that is your main fault. But that’s just boring, so let’s cut to the chase. There’s some really complicated love addiction here. How about you look into that and explore it further if you want to be more successful. Random bouts of compulsive sexual behaviour will not help you in the long run. You’ll just scare them away~ And I believe you’re looking in the wrong place, honey. There is so much more for you to gain by taking a look at the obvious, better choice of attention right here. Why don’t you take some time to explore everything that is offered by your relationships. It won’t be bad at all. But! I would prefer you keep your limbs away during the session; I’m quite suspecting already and that’s not very interesting, is it? Don’t look the gift horse in the mouth, you know. Good that we understand each other so well. Danke.
Now, where were we? Apparently, no one has offered you any sort of service like this before, but I assure you, I can make it easier for you to let your fantasies take some sort of realistic shape. Yes, I can find those special types too. Wouldn't you love to wrap your suckers around their toned thighs and calves? Sounds enticing, doesn’t it? I think we’re on the same train of thought here. I can make this go smoothly and painlessly, and you’ll be thanking me later. Some around here have dirtier thoughts than they would attest to, and I’d love nothing more than to oblige their wishes. And that’s where you come in, Marcy.
Once you get started with not trying to be so forceful, you’ll be on the right track. Oh, if there aren’t any other problems, it was nice talking to you. Make sure to smell the roses from now on and don’t jump head first into things. You’ll just mess up otherwise.
I look forward to hearing from you~
Poll So?
Character name: Lezard Valeth
Series: Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria
Age: Unknown, appears 24
Job: Barrier Maintenance and Security Consultant
Canon: In a world inspired by Norse mythology, magic and monsters are common, and gods that do their best to screw everyone over are rampant. So humans, particularly ones from the country of Dipan, began researching power that would allow them to rebel against the gods. Some of their research is considered dark magick, involving things such as experimentation of the undead. Lezard Valeth, an apprentice magician to the Three Mages who led that research, grew troubled by the dangers posed by those experiments and decided to join with the heroine Alicia, the reincarnation of the Valkyrie Silmeria, in her quest to search for an ancient relic. Known as the Dragon Orb, it has the power to stop the upcoming war between the Gods and the people of Dipan.
As his "mage" title would suggest, Lezard is the scholar type with a keen interest in attaining new knowledge. He carries himself in a sophisticated manner, and has a polite and archaic, formal way of speech. He's generally pleasant and helpful, assisting the team with his knowledge of ancient magicks and usually pointing them towards the right direction. However, there are some periods where he is condescending, displaying hints of arrogance, and appears distant in a way that sometimes suggests he has something to hide.
[spoilers for VP2; not spoilers for VP1]Lezard is actually an ambitious and manipulative necromancer from the future who seeks the power of the gods in order to win the affection of (read: stalk) the valkyrie Lenneth and become one with her. Literally and figuratively. He’s definitely more than a bit crazy and will do everything and anything in order to achieve his goal. [/end spoilers]
Sample Entry:
How intriguing. I never would have thought of entrapping these creatures within a barrier to prevent them from spreading chaos into the outside world. I must commend the Lady Director on her unique way of handling the infestation of the undead in her domain. It certainly takes creativity to construct such complicated magicks as the ones woven in this barrier, not to mention what power she must hold to enforce such magick so delicate that even the gods couldn’t detect its presence. Without a doubt, Lady Sayre’s settlement is most certainly the perfect place of residence for the Dragon Orb. And for that reason, I am most honored to have been chosen to aid her in this endeavor of enhancing the spells on the barrier in order to improve the security for the Orb.
This effort should not be too difficult. After all, I already have prior experience with how securing an area should be handled from my former place of research. Sometimes, it proves quite efficient to exploit the undead and use them to handle any intruders. . . something which I have already experienced personally upon my initial arrival to this settlement. Ah yes, I should also praise Lady Director Sayre’s talent in being able to employ the undead to manage her other biddings as well, should I not? Considering that she had sent you here to assist me as I inspect the runes in the barrier, and you have made no attempts to attack me thus far. A wise choice on your part as I would not hesitate to defend myself and I am quite certain the Lady Sayre would not mind, considering how many others of your kind she has to replace you.
Ah . . . my apologies, it was rude of me to insinuate that you are insignificant. In truth, I am grateful to have someone familiar with this area to aid me in avoiding those bothersome vines in the forest, and you did inform me of the effects of the magick already infused in the barriers, the main effect being various forms of Transformations. However I fear that this alone might not be enough to dissuade some of the more stubborn intruders from trying to teleport out, so I decided to make an adjustment that I am certain would deliver a message. At present, I am simply in need of someone willing to test it. . .
-tell me, my undead companion. Between death by fire, by cold, by crushing, by blade . . . If you were an intruder, how would you wish to meet your end?
Poll So?
Character: Lady
Series: Devil May Cry
Character Age: Late twenties/early thirties circa DMC4
Job: Being the seedy owner of the seedy pool hall in which seedy characters can come play seedy games of pool. Seedily!
Canon: Welcome to Devil May Cry. Two thousand years ago, blah blah blah, gates to hell, demons everywhere. Now today a hero must rise up, everyone has mommy issues more blah blah blah and also sometimes we have musical numbers. It's a really cool series where really cool stuff happens. In a world where the main character is too busy being shirtless and killing things to pay attention to the laws of physics, let alone the plot, you need someone there to give our hero a gentle nudge in the right direction. The devil-hunter Lady is the one here to give that nudge. And by "nudge" I mean "shoot him in the head and/or blackmail him into doing what she says."
She may be just about the only fully human combatant in the series, but don't for a second think that it means she can't keep up with the big boys. With her motorcycle and custom-made melee MANPADS (yes), it's her goal to rid the world of demons that would hurt humans. Her domineering attitude, skills forged by raw willpower, and steadfast refusal to take shit from anyone ends up meaning that not only can she keep up with 'em, but in some cases, said "big boys," in fact, owe her a lot of money. Being a pool shark able to out-play the devil himself doesn't hurt either.
POOL HALL RULES
Obey them or go fuck yourself. :)
1. Pool tables are for pool. Do not put your drink on them or I will collect your drink. Don't put your weapons on them or I will collect your weapons. Do not put your filthy-ass fucking feet on them, or I will collect your filthy-ass fucking feet. Et cetera.
2. Respect the equipment.
3. Do not kill your fellow patrons without the express consent of the management. Not the implied consent. Not the it-was-OK-last-time consent. Express consent. That means you say "Mother May I" and I say "Yes you may." Or (preferably!) you could just take your shit outside where I don't have to deal with it.
4. No one cares if you are offended by the decor. That's not your Aunt Sally's head nailed to the wall. That's a demon that was making a dick-head of itself and ruining my day. And if it is your Aunt Sally? Guess what! I still don't care. Also, it's completely boss. Blow me.
5. Watch your damn language if there are fucking kids in the room.
6. No, there is no beer on tap. Yes, the signage on the bar would suggest that we have a selection of fine domestic and imported ales. That would, in fact, be bull. So unless you want some outdated tang, salty water with sand in the bottom, or lukewarm pig's blood, you're out of luck.
7. Do not order a glass of lukewarm pig's blood. You fucking freak.
8. If you are covered in more than a quart of any bodily fluid not your own, you might want to take a shower before you come in. I know I'd want you to take a shower.
9. Actually, that applies to your own bodily fluids too.
10. Go easy on the chalk, kids.
10 a. The chalk is not to be used for drawing arcane symbols with the intent to summon demons within the pool house. FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Remember, the rules aren't here to limit your fun. They're in place to protect the safety and comfort of all who wish to use the pool hall. With a little common sense and flexibility I think that this can be a great place we can all enjoy. However, failure to comply with any of these rules (ESPECIALLY RULE 3, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) will result in your immediate removal from the premises. Repeat offenders may be shot at our discretion.
-The management. ♥
Poll So?
Character name: Liquid Snake
Series: Metal Gear Solid
Age: 33
Job: Harsh Environment Survival Adviser (especially the Alaskan environment, he can tell you more about Alaska than Wikipedia)
Canon: Metal Gear Solid is one of a series of games where you go on super secret infiltration missions to stop screeching two-legged tanks and nukes. There will be many nameless guards in your way, but this game punishes you mercilessly for running straight through with guns blazing. Instead, consider crawling and hiding in cardboard boxes. You will encounter broken fourth walls, sexy Japanese girl posters, enough cutscenes to make several feature-length movies, and nerds with sensitive bladders. One of the shining features is the dispersal of hardcore boss fights. Each boss has flamboyant characteristics and a special weapon or ability. Liquid's special ability is surviving an Alaskan winter without a shirt on.
Liquid Snake is the twin brother of Solid Snake, both clones of Big Boss. He believes that he got all of Big Boss' "inferior genes" while Solid Snake got the cool ones. It turns out he was the superior one after all, and somewhere along the line someone lied to him to mess with his head. He's like the kid who was told he was getting new socks for Christmas while his brother is promised a Nintendo Wii. The result is a lot of angry whining.
Also worth noting is that he committed identity theft against a man called Master Miller in order to gain Snake's trust by telling him random facts about Alaska.
Sample Entry:
AUX
C A L L
PUSH SELECT
Hello. This is Master McDonell Miller, your camp survival instructor for the evening. Today I will be advising you on how to avoid a vicious purple gorilla attack.
Since a purple gorilla is roughly the same size as a wild polar bear, the same principle can be applied. Whatever you do, don't go near a baby purple gorilla, no matter how cute you think it is. The mother will most likely be nearby, and they are very protective of their young. Always keep the camp clean. Keep your dishes washed and store food in airtight containers hung in trees at least eight feet off the ground. The smell of food can attract a gorilla from miles away. If one is nearby, try hiding in a cardboard box. A box is a valuable tool for hiding from a possible attack in nearly any situation. I highly recommend keeping one in your inventory for any outing. If for some reason you lost your cardboard box, talk loudly to the purple gorilla and wave your arms to make yourself look bigger than it. If you're lucky, it will be intimidated and leave. Curl into a ball and play dead in the event that it attacks you instead. There's a good chance the gorilla will lose interest and wander away.
I'll be collecting information on purple gorillas for the next few days. It is likely that they are genetic copies of silverback gorillas, modified to have certain genes that make them purple in color. That would mean there may be another color of gorilla out there. When certain genes are given to one embryo in the womb, the rest need to be expelled to a twin. It's not fair, but that's how scientists breed "perfect" clones. That careless manipulation of DNA can change a being's very fate. I can't say yet if these are the inferior or superior color of gorilla, but I intend to find out very soon.
Oh, and one last thing. Don't spend too much time in front of a computer. Reading a lot of text at once, like if you're going through applications, can strain your eyes and give you a headache, especially if your monitor has a high brightness setting. If you start to feel nauseated, discontinue use right away. Consider taking a half hour break and going outside. ...But don't forget to bring a box with you.
Poll So?
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
ETA: WHOOPS we had a double. App removed, will post again later.
Now VOTE closed
Character: Xerxes Break
Series: Pandora Hearts [ wikipedia ]
Character Age: Technically like over 70, though if one goes appearances he certainly doesn't look a day older than 26.
Job: Master of Ceremonies
Canon: Oz Vesalius's coming of age ceremony sucked. Not in the 'nobody came or gave me presents' way, but in the 'strange hooded figures tossed me into the Abyss and I almost got eaten by monsters' way. This trip to the Abyss wasn't without perks, however; Oz formed a contract with a terrifying girl/rabbit/thing named Alice and she aided in his escape from the Abyss. He just happened to come out ten years in his future. Luckily there was a welcoming party waiting for him ♥ .
Xerxes Break was part of this welcoming party, which could more appropriately be called Pandora, a group connected to the Abyss and its going ons. If appearances were anything to go by Break might be considered a gentlemanly sort with slightly eccentric tastes. Unfortunately for everyone else the smiling and cheerful facade is just that -- Break is all about using people. A vaguely polite comment, coupled with a ♥ and a thinly veiled insult is common in his speech. Break is most often straightforwardly not at all straightforward and litters his words with distractions to keep even the keenest of listeners on their toes. Break is often accompanied by a doll named Emily who is prone to saying rude things.
Sample app:
You will have to excuse my tardiness, masters and mistresses! While it may seem bordering on rude to hastily introduce myself, it seems that I've made myself so very late for this very important date. You may come to know me as Xerxes Break, and today I am your humble servant of ceremonies. Not that such a delay can be brushed aside with a simple justification, but surely you all will understand that special preparations had to be made.
What do we call this? A conglomeration of morons! Now, now, Emily, it isn't nice to call this celebration that. It's the wonderful culmination of many years of marriage! It's the anniversary of the Lady Elizabeth Sayre and his honored Lordship Stephan Debussey! In fact, Mr. Debussey is our guest of honor. . .
Oh, dear. This would be. . . this would be. . . a delay! It seems that our guest isn't here yet! Is this what they call being fashionably late? Of course there is a difference between fashionably late and just being unable to follow simple directions. . . Aaah, but none of you should repeat that to our guest. It's rude to point out someone else's failings ♥ .
While we wait for him perhaps we should have a round of riddles! How about this one: How many hands of cards did the rabbit win? Well? Any ideas? Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids! Oh, my, what are those faces for? Was that no good? Try this one: Why is a raven like a writing desk? Is it because both are wastes of space? Or maybe because they bend over to serve? You've never heard of a raven which does so? He does if you use him right ♥.
Hmmm~, maybe these are a little too hard for such esteemed dimwits, as you lords and ladies must be. Should we try something more attuned to your tastes? Something simpler? Here is where I, your humble master of ceremonies, will relay to you the tale of how I came to this glorious and decaying establishment of CFUD:
"Be that invitation to your home, hell or abode," I replied, upstarting --
"Get thee back into storm and take off your shoes before crossing the floor!
Leave no muddy footprints as token of your offer spoken!
Leave my teacups unbroken! -- take your tentacles back to the shore!
And take thy bloomers back to that tree that overlooks the shore!"
Quoth our guest of honor, Stephan Debussey: "Nevar more."
Poll So?
Character name: Schuldig
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Age: 22
Job: Camp Neurological Trespasser
Canon: Fighting evil by moonlight, selling flowers by daylight, the group known as cross white, they are the ones called-- well, yeah, Weiß. They’re four pretty-boy assassins working for an underground organisation that targets and kills off criminals untouchable by the law. They would be unbeatable if their greatest enemy, the villainous Takatori Reiji, didn’t employ his own kickass team of assassins to protect himself. Pwning Weiß by being the cooler and more interesting team, Schwarz’s members even have supernatural powers! They also assist a mysterious German organisation in a role identical to Weiß, only, you know, on the dark side.
Schuldig, as a telepath, is perhaps the most enigmatic member of Schwarz. With a taste for mental mayhem, he won't back down from an opportunity to create chaos and torment, using his victim's own mind as a playground. It genuinely amuses him to torment his enemies and victims with their own inner turmoil, playing with them as a cat would with mice. He’s a sadist, masochist and flamboyant in his manners, with a slight disregard for authority, and doesn’t hold it against himself to be rude and arrogant. The only disadvantage he has found through his power is that sometimes he is unable to tell which thoughts are his own. He also possesses an uncanny speed, which in combination with his telepathy can be mistaken for teleporting.
Notes: Schuldig = Guilty, Schwarz = Black, Weiß = White.
Sample Post:
So you’re interested in psychotherapy? Let’s make this short. Can’t say I’m licensed really anywhere, but I’ve provided my services in the mental field for longer than I can remember, and I know my areas of expertise quite well. As it is, that’s not important here. Let’s start with a name, shall we? I’ve noted it’s Marcy. You seem to be suffering from some sort of withdrawal, and I can’t blame you for your behaviour~ Virgin boys to even experienced ones, as long as they’re young, you just can’t help yourself, can you? Nasty little problem you have there. Well, that doesn’t matter, just as long as it remains interesting because they’re unknowing about your intentions.
I’m all for helping you out with this, it seems entertaining, to say the least. It’s relationships with others that is your main fault. But that’s just boring, so let’s cut to the chase. There’s some really complicated love addiction here. How about you look into that and explore it further if you want to be more successful. Random bouts of compulsive sexual behaviour will not help you in the long run. You’ll just scare them away~ And I believe you’re looking in the wrong place, honey. There is so much more for you to gain by taking a look at the obvious, better choice of attention right here. Why don’t you take some time to explore everything that is offered by your relationships. It won’t be bad at all. But! I would prefer you keep your limbs away during the session; I’m quite suspecting already and that’s not very interesting, is it? Don’t look the gift horse in the mouth, you know. Good that we understand each other so well. Danke.
Now, where were we? Apparently, no one has offered you any sort of service like this before, but I assure you, I can make it easier for you to let your fantasies take some sort of realistic shape. Yes, I can find those special types too. Wouldn't you love to wrap your suckers around their toned thighs and calves? Sounds enticing, doesn’t it? I think we’re on the same train of thought here. I can make this go smoothly and painlessly, and you’ll be thanking me later. Some around here have dirtier thoughts than they would attest to, and I’d love nothing more than to oblige their wishes. And that’s where you come in, Marcy.
Once you get started with not trying to be so forceful, you’ll be on the right track. Oh, if there aren’t any other problems, it was nice talking to you. Make sure to smell the roses from now on and don’t jump head first into things. You’ll just mess up otherwise.
I look forward to hearing from you~
Poll So?
Character name: Lezard Valeth
Series: Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria
Age: Unknown, appears 24
Job: Barrier Maintenance and Security Consultant
Canon: In a world inspired by Norse mythology, magic and monsters are common, and gods that do their best to screw everyone over are rampant. So humans, particularly ones from the country of Dipan, began researching power that would allow them to rebel against the gods. Some of their research is considered dark magick, involving things such as experimentation of the undead. Lezard Valeth, an apprentice magician to the Three Mages who led that research, grew troubled by the dangers posed by those experiments and decided to join with the heroine Alicia, the reincarnation of the Valkyrie Silmeria, in her quest to search for an ancient relic. Known as the Dragon Orb, it has the power to stop the upcoming war between the Gods and the people of Dipan.
As his "mage" title would suggest, Lezard is the scholar type with a keen interest in attaining new knowledge. He carries himself in a sophisticated manner, and has a polite and archaic, formal way of speech. He's generally pleasant and helpful, assisting the team with his knowledge of ancient magicks and usually pointing them towards the right direction. However, there are some periods where he is condescending, displaying hints of arrogance, and appears distant in a way that sometimes suggests he has something to hide.
[spoilers for VP2; not spoilers for VP1]Lezard is actually an ambitious and manipulative necromancer from the future who seeks the power of the gods in order to win the affection of (read: stalk) the valkyrie Lenneth and become one with her. Literally and figuratively. He’s definitely more than a bit crazy and will do everything and anything in order to achieve his goal. [/end spoilers]
Sample Entry:
How intriguing. I never would have thought of entrapping these creatures within a barrier to prevent them from spreading chaos into the outside world. I must commend the Lady Director on her unique way of handling the infestation of the undead in her domain. It certainly takes creativity to construct such complicated magicks as the ones woven in this barrier, not to mention what power she must hold to enforce such magick so delicate that even the gods couldn’t detect its presence. Without a doubt, Lady Sayre’s settlement is most certainly the perfect place of residence for the Dragon Orb. And for that reason, I am most honored to have been chosen to aid her in this endeavor of enhancing the spells on the barrier in order to improve the security for the Orb.
This effort should not be too difficult. After all, I already have prior experience with how securing an area should be handled from my former place of research. Sometimes, it proves quite efficient to exploit the undead and use them to handle any intruders. . . something which I have already experienced personally upon my initial arrival to this settlement. Ah yes, I should also praise Lady Director Sayre’s talent in being able to employ the undead to manage her other biddings as well, should I not? Considering that she had sent you here to assist me as I inspect the runes in the barrier, and you have made no attempts to attack me thus far. A wise choice on your part as I would not hesitate to defend myself and I am quite certain the Lady Sayre would not mind, considering how many others of your kind she has to replace you.
Ah . . . my apologies, it was rude of me to insinuate that you are insignificant. In truth, I am grateful to have someone familiar with this area to aid me in avoiding those bothersome vines in the forest, and you did inform me of the effects of the magick already infused in the barriers, the main effect being various forms of Transformations. However I fear that this alone might not be enough to dissuade some of the more stubborn intruders from trying to teleport out, so I decided to make an adjustment that I am certain would deliver a message. At present, I am simply in need of someone willing to test it. . .
-tell me, my undead companion. Between death by fire, by cold, by crushing, by blade . . . If you were an intruder, how would you wish to meet your end?
Poll So?
Character: Lady
Series: Devil May Cry
Character Age: Late twenties/early thirties circa DMC4
Job: Being the seedy owner of the seedy pool hall in which seedy characters can come play seedy games of pool. Seedily!
Canon: Welcome to Devil May Cry. Two thousand years ago, blah blah blah, gates to hell, demons everywhere. Now today a hero must rise up, everyone has mommy issues more blah blah blah and also sometimes we have musical numbers. It's a really cool series where really cool stuff happens. In a world where the main character is too busy being shirtless and killing things to pay attention to the laws of physics, let alone the plot, you need someone there to give our hero a gentle nudge in the right direction. The devil-hunter Lady is the one here to give that nudge. And by "nudge" I mean "shoot him in the head and/or blackmail him into doing what she says."
She may be just about the only fully human combatant in the series, but don't for a second think that it means she can't keep up with the big boys. With her motorcycle and custom-made melee MANPADS (yes), it's her goal to rid the world of demons that would hurt humans. Her domineering attitude, skills forged by raw willpower, and steadfast refusal to take shit from anyone ends up meaning that not only can she keep up with 'em, but in some cases, said "big boys," in fact, owe her a lot of money. Being a pool shark able to out-play the devil himself doesn't hurt either.
POOL HALL RULES
Obey them or go fuck yourself. :)
1. Pool tables are for pool. Do not put your drink on them or I will collect your drink. Don't put your weapons on them or I will collect your weapons. Do not put your filthy-ass fucking feet on them, or I will collect your filthy-ass fucking feet. Et cetera.
2. Respect the equipment.
3. Do not kill your fellow patrons without the express consent of the management. Not the implied consent. Not the it-was-OK-last-time consent. Express consent. That means you say "Mother May I" and I say "Yes you may." Or (preferably!) you could just take your shit outside where I don't have to deal with it.
4. No one cares if you are offended by the decor. That's not your Aunt Sally's head nailed to the wall. That's a demon that was making a dick-head of itself and ruining my day. And if it is your Aunt Sally? Guess what! I still don't care. Also, it's completely boss. Blow me.
5. Watch your damn language if there are fucking kids in the room.
6. No, there is no beer on tap. Yes, the signage on the bar would suggest that we have a selection of fine domestic and imported ales. That would, in fact, be bull. So unless you want some outdated tang, salty water with sand in the bottom, or lukewarm pig's blood, you're out of luck.
7. Do not order a glass of lukewarm pig's blood. You fucking freak.
8. If you are covered in more than a quart of any bodily fluid not your own, you might want to take a shower before you come in. I know I'd want you to take a shower.
9. Actually, that applies to your own bodily fluids too.
10. Go easy on the chalk, kids.
10 a. The chalk is not to be used for drawing arcane symbols with the intent to summon demons within the pool house. FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Remember, the rules aren't here to limit your fun. They're in place to protect the safety and comfort of all who wish to use the pool hall. With a little common sense and flexibility I think that this can be a great place we can all enjoy. However, failure to comply with any of these rules (ESPECIALLY RULE 3, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) will result in your immediate removal from the premises. Repeat offenders may be shot at our discretion.
-The management. ♥
Poll So?
Character name: Liquid Snake
Series: Metal Gear Solid
Age: 33
Job: Harsh Environment Survival Adviser (especially the Alaskan environment, he can tell you more about Alaska than Wikipedia)
Canon: Metal Gear Solid is one of a series of games where you go on super secret infiltration missions to stop screeching two-legged tanks and nukes. There will be many nameless guards in your way, but this game punishes you mercilessly for running straight through with guns blazing. Instead, consider crawling and hiding in cardboard boxes. You will encounter broken fourth walls, sexy Japanese girl posters, enough cutscenes to make several feature-length movies, and nerds with sensitive bladders. One of the shining features is the dispersal of hardcore boss fights. Each boss has flamboyant characteristics and a special weapon or ability. Liquid's special ability is surviving an Alaskan winter without a shirt on.
Liquid Snake is the twin brother of Solid Snake, both clones of Big Boss. He believes that he got all of Big Boss' "inferior genes" while Solid Snake got the cool ones. It turns out he was the superior one after all, and somewhere along the line someone lied to him to mess with his head. He's like the kid who was told he was getting new socks for Christmas while his brother is promised a Nintendo Wii. The result is a lot of angry whining.
Also worth noting is that he committed identity theft against a man called Master Miller in order to gain Snake's trust by telling him random facts about Alaska.
Sample Entry:
AUX
C A L L
PUSH SELECT
Hello. This is Master McDonell Miller, your camp survival instructor for the evening. Today I will be advising you on how to avoid a vicious purple gorilla attack.
Since a purple gorilla is roughly the same size as a wild polar bear, the same principle can be applied. Whatever you do, don't go near a baby purple gorilla, no matter how cute you think it is. The mother will most likely be nearby, and they are very protective of their young. Always keep the camp clean. Keep your dishes washed and store food in airtight containers hung in trees at least eight feet off the ground. The smell of food can attract a gorilla from miles away. If one is nearby, try hiding in a cardboard box. A box is a valuable tool for hiding from a possible attack in nearly any situation. I highly recommend keeping one in your inventory for any outing. If for some reason you lost your cardboard box, talk loudly to the purple gorilla and wave your arms to make yourself look bigger than it. If you're lucky, it will be intimidated and leave. Curl into a ball and play dead in the event that it attacks you instead. There's a good chance the gorilla will lose interest and wander away.
I'll be collecting information on purple gorillas for the next few days. It is likely that they are genetic copies of silverback gorillas, modified to have certain genes that make them purple in color. That would mean there may be another color of gorilla out there. When certain genes are given to one embryo in the womb, the rest need to be expelled to a twin. It's not fair, but that's how scientists breed "perfect" clones. That careless manipulation of DNA can change a being's very fate. I can't say yet if these are the inferior or superior color of gorilla, but I intend to find out very soon.
Oh, and one last thing. Don't spend too much time in front of a computer. Reading a lot of text at once, like if you're going through applications, can strain your eyes and give you a headache, especially if your monitor has a high brightness setting. If you start to feel nauseated, discontinue use right away. Consider taking a half hour break and going outside. ...But don't forget to bring a box with you.
Poll So?