(no subject)
FINAL ROUND! The next camper round will take place sometime in December. Upcoming counselor applications are November 21st! The announcement is here.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED
Character: Tsumura Tokiko
Series: Busou Renkin
Character Age: 17
Canon: One fateful night in an abandoned building, Our Hero Mutou Kazuki went and got himself killed defending a girl from a homunculus monster. Luckily for him, that girl was an alchemist warrior and replaced his heart with a Kakugane, an alchemic alloy with the ability to materialize a weapon called a Busou Renkin. Alive again, Kazuki finds himself partnering up with the girl, Tsumura Tokiko, and joins the fight against the homunculi, people-eating monsters created through alchemy.
Tokiko herself is an alchemist warrior in every sense of the word. Tokiko is completely committed to destroying the homunculi and anyone who helps them no matter what, which she accomplishes with her Valkyrie Skirt (four robotic scythes on spider-like appendages that attach to her legs). Often coming across as terse and blunt, Tokiko has no trouble giving Kazuki or anyone else a verbal smackdown for being a complete moron. She does have a kinder side, which comes out in her concern for others and repeated desire for Kazuki to go back to a normal life. However, when she shouts her battle cry of "I'll splatter your guts!", you better believe she'll do just that.
Sample Post:
This will be difficult to explain to headquarters. After following a tip-off about someone practicing dangerous alchemy in the area, I made it to the summer camp on foot. I should have suspected something was off when the map I was given indicated that "Here Be Drag-Queens" instead of the camp itself. Either it's outdated or someone thinks too much of their own sense of humour. In any case, I infiltrated the summer camp with the intention of posing as one of the campers, and so far so good. I'd hoped to gain access to the labs to confirm whether the Director is creating homunculi there like we were warned, except the password system there was too ridiculous to bypass. Giving my name and quest was simple enough but asking for the air-speed velocity of an unladen toucan was just idiotic. I'll break in later.
In the meantime, I've investigated the outer areas of the camp and they were right about the homunculi situation. This Director must be producing them by the truckload, even if they are poor quality. They're clearly humanoid types and they have the fixation on eating people, but anyone who thinks these could be a threat is kidding themselves. They're shedding more limbs by the minute, and it's pathetic to see how affected by the cold they are. I don't know what good using their own intestines as scarves is doing them. More worrying is the squid homunculus in the lake. It was pointless trying to get a closer look, even with the Valkyrie Skirt - it got the wrong idea right away. Honestly, do I look even a bit like your offspring? These legs are mechanical, which is more than I can say for yours! Don't take me for a sucker again, or I'll destroy more of yours.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was hauled into the lake in plain sight or that no one thought it was weird. Everyone here is too complacent. The people are wandering around freely while these monsters could devour them at any moment. Maybe it's apathy, but I can't condone any homunculi being allowed to even shamble their way towards a meal. Yes, I'm talking about all of you. Don't think I haven't noticed you watching me. I won't ignore your behaviour like everyone else, as you should already know after I disposed of one of you earlier. If any of the rest of you thinks calling me "Octopussy" is funny, you'll be joining that smear on the wall he made. Well? What do you have to say for yourselves?
"Brains", huh. I don't care if you're wearing them around your necks - they'll look the same when I'm done. I'll splatter your guts!
Poll Vote!
Character: Yahiko Moyjin
Series: Rurouni Kenshin
Age: 10
Canon: Rurouni Kenshin is a historical series about a former assassin turned wanderer who travels all over Japan rescuing and helping the people he meets to atone for his past sins.
One of the youngest in the series, Yahiko is a kid full of pride due to being born into a samurai family. Only 10 years old, he already wants people to see him as an adult rather then a child so it annoys him to great end when people call him 'Yahiko-chan(Little Yahiko in Viz's translation)' and would yell back at them not to call him that. Yahiko looks up to Kenshin, amazed by his skills, and wishes to become just as strong as he is when he's older by learning Kaoru's swordsmanship style instead of Kenshin's since he always tells Yahiko that he will never teach him.
User of profanity, Yahiko is also hot-headed, arrogant, cheeky, and bad-mannered. His way of showing that he cares often involves yelling and sometimes violence, but he does care really. Because behind all that is a kid with a strong heart and a lot of courage which is often seen when he's protecting friends or mere strangers while battle enemies not only stronger then him, but also twice his size.
Note: In the series, the cast is sometimes seen eating at the Akabeko, a beef hot pot restaurant and the place Yahiko works at. Akabeko is also a toy.
Sample Post:
I don't see why I should wear a red cow hat. It looks stupid and the fact that our restaurant is in the shape of a huge red cow is good enough for our customers to know that we serve cow hot pot instead of beef. I'm not even a waiter so I shouldn't be wearing this! I'm going to the back to help out before another stupid zombie makes me take his damn order. He'll make me wait for nearly an hour before finally realizing that the cow hot pot is the only thing we have!
Grr! Stupid Gorilla boss thinks he knows everything. Stupid zombie customers for being stupid. Stupid Kaoru for making me come here to help out just because Tae can't come and sending Tsubame here is not a good idea. And stupid me for being so nice and doing almost every job here and why is this damn box full of cow meat heavier then usual?! It weighs a ton!
...WHO JUST CALLED ME WAITER-CHAN?! DON'T CALL ME -CHAN OR WAITER! MY NAME IS YAHIKO! Now what the hell do you want, Gorilla boss? ...Why are there weird cows in front of the restaurant? You did something, didn't you? And don't say you didn't do anything! Otherwise we wouldn't have these mad cows on chairs with wheels mooing strangely in front of us! And how come some of our customers are on the ground dead...again, can someone die while they're dead,, while others are walking around strangely, and some are walking around just fine? Well, as fine as those with missing body parts can be and if they're not run over by some of the cows.
If you're not going to tell me, then I'll just find out myself. Jeez. Why do I have do everything around here? Better get something for this.
Alright! Listen here, cows! I don't know what my dumb boss did or what reason you have for killing, I wish I knew if someone can die again while being dead, our costumers, but whatever it is, I bet everything can be solved by using words instead of violence! But if you really want to fight then-ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! EARTH TO THE WEIRD SHINY COWS!
Gorilla boss! Stop looking at me like I'm crazy, telling me weird things, and help me out here!
...WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE CARRYING SOME MAD DISEASE AND WHY I'M NOT AFFECTED AT ALL?!
Poll Vote!
Character: The Principality of Sealand/Peter Kirkland
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: 12
Canon: In real life, the Principality of Sealand is a micronation on Roughs Tower, off the coast of England. It was an abandoned UK sea fort from WWII, until one day someone decided that they would take it for their own needs, and proclaimed it an independent sovereign state. Its motto 'E Mare Libertas' (From the Sea, Freedom) is a fancy way of expressing the Sealand philosophy of I Can Do Whatever I Want, Nyah Nyah, So There. Through the miracles of legal loopholes it manages to avoid the UK doing anything about it, and for the most part the world just smiles and nods, and ignores Sealand entirely. Everyone except Axis Powers Hetalia--a comic dealing with international relations, if the different countries were personified as different wacky characters.
The personification of this particular 'country' is much as you would expect: a 12-year-old, hyperactive boy constantly clamoring for attention and shunning his big brother, that jerk England. He has an amazingly persistent brand of optimism that keeps him working at becoming a great country, even when all of his peers outright ignore him. In fact, his long-term goal is joining the G8 and becoming one of the biggest, baddest countries around! You know, when he's not distracted by little things like Power Rangers, the Internet, auctioning himself off for money, his country catching on fire... (note: America is kindly hosting the image to preserve anonymity.)
Sample Post:
Hey everyone! It's me, your pal Sealand! But right now I'm on vacation--I mean, on an ambassador visit. I heard about this place and I just had to come check it out!! This place is in Louisiana, but it isn't actually Louisiana, so there's no way it actually counts as part of America! It's in its own dimension! And now that I'm here, I'll just say that makes it Sealand's dimension! HAIL SEALAND! E Mare Libertas! Now to work on the colonization efforts. There's already a whole town here, so that means it's the best place to found Sealand's capital city!!
So, everyone here part of Camp... Camp... Okay guys, first of all we're changing the name! From now on, this place is New Sealand! It's still part of Sealand, okay? It's just the NEW part! And it's way better than stupid New York, and London, and any other city! It's probably going to be even better than all of New Zealand too, so don't get them confused. New Sealand will be the best city in the whole world!
Anyway, all of you guys are now citizens of the great and mighty country of Sealand! I don't want to hear you saying you like any other countries better or I'm not going to give you an official passport. But since you're already living here, you can have a discount on nobility titles~! Now only $19.99 in Sealand dollars! Also known as $19.99 USD. So, let's see how many people are supposed to be... oh wow! Oh wow!! Jackpot!! YES! This is great!! With this many citizens, I have to be recognized now! I should totally take over summer camps more often! Plus, it already has a website, and everyone knows that having an official website is the one true way to legitimacy! The Internet wouldn't lie.
And look at alllll this cool stuff! I bet that jerk England doesn't have any purple gorillas! Purple gorillas are definitely the official mascot of Sealand. I'm going to put them on the flag somewhere. And you, you look like you're the biggest one! You can be the official royal gorilla. It's a very prestigious job, but I trust you with the responsibility. Basically it means you have to give me gorilla-back rides! Hahaha, WHEEEE~! Whoa, hey, be careful!! I'm going to fall o--uwaaaaaaauuughhhaaagaahhh!! Owwwww! F-Fine, never mind! I wanted the tentacle monster as my mascot instead anyway!
Hey, who says I'm not old enough for that? Just because I'm a little younger than the other countries doesn't mean you have to stick me with some weird dumb bear instead. I'm a grown-up official country and I can have whatever mascot I want! Sealand will not bend to your cruel ultimatum! ...hey, Mr. Bear, you're giving out candy? THE OFFICIAL BEAR OF SEALAND IT IS!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ashiya Mizuki
Series: Hana Kimi
Age: 15-17
Canon: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (aka "Hana Kimi") is the sparkly shoujo tale of a girl who crosses the ocean and disguises herself as a boy, all to infiltrate a boys-only school and get close to her crush: high-jump superstar Sano Izumi. What nobody ever told our heroine, though, is that it helps if you're actually at all decent at pretending to be a boy. Luckily, Mizuki's bright, cheery personality and Shoujo Powers Of Being Completely Adorable help win her allies in unexpected places, making her stay at Osaka High a long and fruitful one . . . sometimes literally, as far as being full of fruits goes. Mizuki embarks on a twenty-three volume epic quest to win the heart of the man who mustn't ever know she's a girl! despite the fact that he's known her secret since the first volume. The sexual tension is amazing.
Epic fail romance aside, Mizuki is an eternal optimist and a true friend, winning the hearts of everyone around her with determination and a tendency to Jesus people out of their problems with her sincere honesty and genuine concern for everyone's welfare. Energetic and enthusiastic to the point of being a danger to both herself and those around her, Mizuki gets into trouble and tight situations so often that it's frankly more notable when things are going well. However, her complete faith in her friends is well-deserved, since Sano, Nakatsu, or Dr. Umeda are always there to bail her right back out again. That said, innocent and oblivious as she often is, with a tendency to ramble, blush, stammer, talk to herself, and freak ouuuuut!! (only to bounce back seconds later), Mizuki definitely needs as much help as she can get.
Note: [Spoilers?] Mizuki is being taken from sometime before the last three volumes; she is still pretending to be a boy, and thinks her secret is safe.
Sample Post:
Ah! Hello, everyone! My name is Ashiya Mizuki, and I'm here with the students from Osaka High on the international summer camp exchange program! Um, I actually grew up in America, so I speak English very well. Don't be afraid to ask me anything mostly since we're all here to have fun, right? Um, if you're not speaking Japanese or English, though, I don't think I'm going to be able to understand you very well. I'll do my best, since there are people here from all over, and we should learn about each others' cultures, but . . . Oh! Maybe "braiiiinzay" is a foreign way of saying hello? It just sounds a lot like the English word "brains," though, so, um. Maybe it's Spanish?
A-anyway, I've read all about C.F.U.D. in the brochures they gave us, so I'm really excited! The "exotic Louisiana wildlife"-what kind of dogs are lycanthropes anyway? I hope they're cute-er, I mean, I like dogs, so . . . b-but they're wild dogs, that's interesting! And it says here that they like to come out around the full moon, so maybe we'll have nighttime outings. And . . . what else is there? Oh! The "seasonal flora" must mean you have a lot of really nice flowers at certain times of the year, right? Let's see! The tentaclus orficus invadicus, and the Pan Tee tree, and the rare, hooded night-blossoming clitoris! . . . w-wait, that can't be- w-well that doesn't matter! I'm not that interested in flowers, anyway. I am a boy after all.
No, really! Hahaha, w-why would you think I'm a girl? I go to an all-boys' school! And I've been assigned to a boys' cabin and everything! What do you mean, nobody follows that rule, anyway? Look, I'm just going to go to my boys' cabin and-eeeeek!! I-is that a-w-wow, what a great gorilla costume that p-person is wearing! Haha, it totally startled me for a minute, but I really need to get into my cabin now, so I . . . listen to me! Let me into the cabin! I'm not going to tolerate bullying, so why don't you just-huh! That's not a costume? . . . . . that's not a costume!?
SO I HEAR THE FOOD AT THE MESS HALL IS GREAT! Ha ha . . . ha! I'm going to go there now! And get inside! And then I'll. Well, after I find which cabin Sano's staying in, I'll just stay with him! Since mine clearly has an, um, exotic Louisiana wildlife, um. Problem. But, ah, even so . . . it's still all very exciting, isn't it? To be here with my friends from school, to meet new people and to have new experiences. Ah, maybe Sano and I can even go for a walk near the "luminescent radiation-soaked shores!" I'm sure they meant "radiant." So, that's it! I've decided it! Nothing is possibly going to ruin my time at C.F.U.D., so after a quick shower and some dinner, we'll just-
. . . you have communal showers. Oh no.
Poll Vote!
Character: Otani Atsushi.
Series: Lovely Complex.
Character Age: 17.
Canon: Lovely Complex tells the story of the teenagers Koizumi Risa and Otani Atsushi, who are respectively the tallest girl and the shortest boy in their class. They are often called "All Hanshin Kyojin" after a very famous Japanese comedy duo due to their constant bickering about their height differences, but despite all that, they slowly start getting to know each other and Koizumi even develops feelings for him. The story follows the hilarious hardships Koizumi goes through in order to gain Otani's affections.
What makes him so special? Well, Otani Atsushi is a very short-tempered, loud, obnoxious dork, who mood swings wildly, and who is also particularly oblivious to other people's feelings. Otani also enjoys the silliest things in life a little too much, getting easily excited over them, and doesn't seem to have any shame in showing his joy through shouting and gleeing. Enjoying basketball wholeheartedly, he earns the title of captain due to his talent in spite of being the shortest member in the team. Otani's good traits include being enthusiastic, his optimism, and friendly attitude... of course, this will change the moment someone insult him or remind him about his height. All in all, Otani is kind of a jerk and he is not your typical bishounen, but people can't help but love him, they might be ready to kill him one second, but the next he will do something fantastic to win their heart back.
Note: Umibouzu is Otani's favorite band.
Sample Post:
So this is what a basketball summer camp looks like in America, huh? Even though it's not summer! To be honest, this is nothing like I had imagined it to be! Not that I'm complaining, opportunities like these don't slap you in the face every day, and this could be fun! Though seriously, I think this place needs a little more balls and a little less limbs falling off! Just think about it for a minute, okay? I know Halloween just passed by, but I've been here for less than an hour and you've lost more limbs than I can count, it's starting to look kinda creepy and overdone to me. I'm not even going to start with the guys dressed up as purple gorillas over there, and just a suggestion, but. You might want to start by cleaning the lake. The idea of making it look like it's become toxic or something is fantastic and all, but the holiday is over now!
Still, I like this place. But this is looking more like an amusement park than a basketball summer camp to me! I'm kinda digging it. By the way, what's the name of this place? "Camp Fuck You Die"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't know much English, is that some kind of word play or what? Oh, and the name is Otani Atsushi. I'm glad to be staying here!
I should say, those singing toucans over there are a nice touch, even if I can't hear them all that way... WHAT?! Geez! They should be singing something better, if someone spent so much time teaching them how to do that. Maybe something cooler, like Umibouzu! Because honestly? This is insulting! Who the hell are you calling small, idiots! YES, YOU SHOULD FLY AWAY, TOUCANS! "That it's time we're aware, it's a small world after all ♪"? What kind of ridiculous song is that, and who would want to hear it anyway?! Forget it, I'm going to find whoever did that and show them how small I can be! Just wait!
Seriously, this Halloween thing is getting kind of retarded too! Take this trail of blood, for example. It's just doesn't make sense and it's starting to stink; besides my sneakers are dirty now, and it's not as appealing as you would probably want it to be, though it does look kind of real. ...Huh? What is that? A blood... slide...? WHAAAAAAAAA, IT REALLY IS! And it looks awesome! I gotta ride it! I can even go alone on this one, this is my lucky day! --What do you mean I can't?! I'M SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, YOU IDIOT! Take that stupid sign off and let me go through; I don't care if I'm shorter than Edward Elric or Allen Walker. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
What the hell?! Put me down, I want to go to the slide, not to the Baby Gorilla's Petting Zoo!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kougaiji
Series: Saiyuki
Character Age: couple hundred, appears roughly around 18
Canon: Saiyuki is the story of a perpetually hungry monkey, a perverted playboy, a smiling con-man, and a monk with severe anger management issues on a roadtrip across China. Full of wacky hijinks and antics, Saiyuki actually balances hilariously ridiculous and angsty mcangst surprisingly well. Sent on a journey to stop the resurrection of the Demon King, they realize along the way that something is destroying the previously peaceful co-existence between the youkai and humans in Shangri-La.
In addition to afore-mentioned wacky hijinks and antics, the four often end up fighting for their lives. Kougaiji and his subordinates have pretty much taken on the role of "enemy-friend". To save his imprisoned mother, Kougaiji has accepted his role of ULTIMATE TOOL in Saiyuki, doing whatever it is his Evil Stepmother wants. To support her ultimate goal of reviving his father the Demon King, Kougaiji has sent numerous assassins after our much-beloved protagonists. However, after meeting them, they quickly realize that he's more than just a puppet. Kougaiji is calm and charismatic, able to gain and keep the loyalty of the youkai who, often, refuse to follow anyone but themselves. He's polite but stern, respectful of even his opponents, and tolerates no nonsense.
Sample Post:
...Let's get down to business: to defeat the monks. Since we've heard of the failed raids on this human encampment, Togenkyou has decided to step in. Therefore, for this mission, I will be your commander. Stand up straight, tall, be proud of yourselves! We are youkai, remember. It is something to take pride in.
I recognize that many of you are embittered by the loss of your companions, allies and friends... You have my sympathies, but I will not beg for forgiveness. As you all know, our goal is absolute. We will not lose our heads when faced with a powerful opponent! We will put all of ourselves into reaching our final goal. Keep in mind what it is you are fighting for, whether you are fighting to protect someone of whether you fight for yourself. Go into battle willing to give an arm and a leg up for the cause, for the glory of victory and the necessity of sacrifice that comes with it. Remember that, at this time, we must prioritize doing what it is we were assigned to do.
Will you follow me, leave your lives in my hands? Will you pledge your loyalty to me and trust in me? I am Kougaiji, Prince of the Western Lands, and upon my name and honor, I swear to you: I will not run or desert you. If you should fall, you will not have fallen in vain!
...
At least a portion of you seem to be rather earnest about this. Those in front, your enthusiasm is appreciated, but it would be appreciated if you kept your distance. Despite my willingness to fight alongside you all, as it should be, I am still your superior and I will have the proper respect shown. And the same goes for you in the back. I have not finished speaking, so though you may be eager to become acquainted with your fellow fighters, I ask that you refrain until I have finished.
By which I mean, kindly remove your hand from his pants.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED
Character: Tsumura Tokiko
Series: Busou Renkin
Character Age: 17
Canon: One fateful night in an abandoned building, Our Hero Mutou Kazuki went and got himself killed defending a girl from a homunculus monster. Luckily for him, that girl was an alchemist warrior and replaced his heart with a Kakugane, an alchemic alloy with the ability to materialize a weapon called a Busou Renkin. Alive again, Kazuki finds himself partnering up with the girl, Tsumura Tokiko, and joins the fight against the homunculi, people-eating monsters created through alchemy.
Tokiko herself is an alchemist warrior in every sense of the word. Tokiko is completely committed to destroying the homunculi and anyone who helps them no matter what, which she accomplishes with her Valkyrie Skirt (four robotic scythes on spider-like appendages that attach to her legs). Often coming across as terse and blunt, Tokiko has no trouble giving Kazuki or anyone else a verbal smackdown for being a complete moron. She does have a kinder side, which comes out in her concern for others and repeated desire for Kazuki to go back to a normal life. However, when she shouts her battle cry of "I'll splatter your guts!", you better believe she'll do just that.
Sample Post:
This will be difficult to explain to headquarters. After following a tip-off about someone practicing dangerous alchemy in the area, I made it to the summer camp on foot. I should have suspected something was off when the map I was given indicated that "Here Be Drag-Queens" instead of the camp itself. Either it's outdated or someone thinks too much of their own sense of humour. In any case, I infiltrated the summer camp with the intention of posing as one of the campers, and so far so good. I'd hoped to gain access to the labs to confirm whether the Director is creating homunculi there like we were warned, except the password system there was too ridiculous to bypass. Giving my name and quest was simple enough but asking for the air-speed velocity of an unladen toucan was just idiotic. I'll break in later.
In the meantime, I've investigated the outer areas of the camp and they were right about the homunculi situation. This Director must be producing them by the truckload, even if they are poor quality. They're clearly humanoid types and they have the fixation on eating people, but anyone who thinks these could be a threat is kidding themselves. They're shedding more limbs by the minute, and it's pathetic to see how affected by the cold they are. I don't know what good using their own intestines as scarves is doing them. More worrying is the squid homunculus in the lake. It was pointless trying to get a closer look, even with the Valkyrie Skirt - it got the wrong idea right away. Honestly, do I look even a bit like your offspring? These legs are mechanical, which is more than I can say for yours! Don't take me for a sucker again, or I'll destroy more of yours.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was hauled into the lake in plain sight or that no one thought it was weird. Everyone here is too complacent. The people are wandering around freely while these monsters could devour them at any moment. Maybe it's apathy, but I can't condone any homunculi being allowed to even shamble their way towards a meal. Yes, I'm talking about all of you. Don't think I haven't noticed you watching me. I won't ignore your behaviour like everyone else, as you should already know after I disposed of one of you earlier. If any of the rest of you thinks calling me "Octopussy" is funny, you'll be joining that smear on the wall he made. Well? What do you have to say for yourselves?
"Brains", huh. I don't care if you're wearing them around your necks - they'll look the same when I'm done. I'll splatter your guts!
Poll Vote!
Character: Yahiko Moyjin
Series: Rurouni Kenshin
Age: 10
Canon: Rurouni Kenshin is a historical series about a former assassin turned wanderer who travels all over Japan rescuing and helping the people he meets to atone for his past sins.
One of the youngest in the series, Yahiko is a kid full of pride due to being born into a samurai family. Only 10 years old, he already wants people to see him as an adult rather then a child so it annoys him to great end when people call him 'Yahiko-chan(Little Yahiko in Viz's translation)' and would yell back at them not to call him that. Yahiko looks up to Kenshin, amazed by his skills, and wishes to become just as strong as he is when he's older by learning Kaoru's swordsmanship style instead of Kenshin's since he always tells Yahiko that he will never teach him.
User of profanity, Yahiko is also hot-headed, arrogant, cheeky, and bad-mannered. His way of showing that he cares often involves yelling and sometimes violence, but he does care really. Because behind all that is a kid with a strong heart and a lot of courage which is often seen when he's protecting friends or mere strangers while battle enemies not only stronger then him, but also twice his size.
Note: In the series, the cast is sometimes seen eating at the Akabeko, a beef hot pot restaurant and the place Yahiko works at. Akabeko is also a toy.
Sample Post:
I don't see why I should wear a red cow hat. It looks stupid and the fact that our restaurant is in the shape of a huge red cow is good enough for our customers to know that we serve cow hot pot instead of beef. I'm not even a waiter so I shouldn't be wearing this! I'm going to the back to help out before another stupid zombie makes me take his damn order. He'll make me wait for nearly an hour before finally realizing that the cow hot pot is the only thing we have!
Grr! Stupid Gorilla boss thinks he knows everything. Stupid zombie customers for being stupid. Stupid Kaoru for making me come here to help out just because Tae can't come and sending Tsubame here is not a good idea. And stupid me for being so nice and doing almost every job here and why is this damn box full of cow meat heavier then usual?! It weighs a ton!
...WHO JUST CALLED ME WAITER-CHAN?! DON'T CALL ME -CHAN OR WAITER! MY NAME IS YAHIKO! Now what the hell do you want, Gorilla boss? ...Why are there weird cows in front of the restaurant? You did something, didn't you? And don't say you didn't do anything! Otherwise we wouldn't have these mad cows on chairs with wheels mooing strangely in front of us! And how come some of our customers are on the ground dead...again, can someone die while they're dead,, while others are walking around strangely, and some are walking around just fine? Well, as fine as those with missing body parts can be and if they're not run over by some of the cows.
If you're not going to tell me, then I'll just find out myself. Jeez. Why do I have do everything around here? Better get something for this.
Alright! Listen here, cows! I don't know what my dumb boss did or what reason you have for killing, I wish I knew if someone can die again while being dead, our costumers, but whatever it is, I bet everything can be solved by using words instead of violence! But if you really want to fight then-ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! EARTH TO THE WEIRD SHINY COWS!
Gorilla boss! Stop looking at me like I'm crazy, telling me weird things, and help me out here!
...WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE CARRYING SOME MAD DISEASE AND WHY I'M NOT AFFECTED AT ALL?!
Poll Vote!
Character: The Principality of Sealand/Peter Kirkland
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: 12
Canon: In real life, the Principality of Sealand is a micronation on Roughs Tower, off the coast of England. It was an abandoned UK sea fort from WWII, until one day someone decided that they would take it for their own needs, and proclaimed it an independent sovereign state. Its motto 'E Mare Libertas' (From the Sea, Freedom) is a fancy way of expressing the Sealand philosophy of I Can Do Whatever I Want, Nyah Nyah, So There. Through the miracles of legal loopholes it manages to avoid the UK doing anything about it, and for the most part the world just smiles and nods, and ignores Sealand entirely. Everyone except Axis Powers Hetalia--a comic dealing with international relations, if the different countries were personified as different wacky characters.
The personification of this particular 'country' is much as you would expect: a 12-year-old, hyperactive boy constantly clamoring for attention and shunning his big brother, that jerk England. He has an amazingly persistent brand of optimism that keeps him working at becoming a great country, even when all of his peers outright ignore him. In fact, his long-term goal is joining the G8 and becoming one of the biggest, baddest countries around! You know, when he's not distracted by little things like Power Rangers, the Internet, auctioning himself off for money, his country catching on fire... (note: America is kindly hosting the image to preserve anonymity.)
Sample Post:
Hey everyone! It's me, your pal Sealand! But right now I'm on vacation--I mean, on an ambassador visit. I heard about this place and I just had to come check it out!! This place is in Louisiana, but it isn't actually Louisiana, so there's no way it actually counts as part of America! It's in its own dimension! And now that I'm here, I'll just say that makes it Sealand's dimension! HAIL SEALAND! E Mare Libertas! Now to work on the colonization efforts. There's already a whole town here, so that means it's the best place to found Sealand's capital city!!
So, everyone here part of Camp... Camp... Okay guys, first of all we're changing the name! From now on, this place is New Sealand! It's still part of Sealand, okay? It's just the NEW part! And it's way better than stupid New York, and London, and any other city! It's probably going to be even better than all of New Zealand too, so don't get them confused. New Sealand will be the best city in the whole world!
Anyway, all of you guys are now citizens of the great and mighty country of Sealand! I don't want to hear you saying you like any other countries better or I'm not going to give you an official passport. But since you're already living here, you can have a discount on nobility titles~! Now only $19.99 in Sealand dollars! Also known as $19.99 USD. So, let's see how many people are supposed to be... oh wow! Oh wow!! Jackpot!! YES! This is great!! With this many citizens, I have to be recognized now! I should totally take over summer camps more often! Plus, it already has a website, and everyone knows that having an official website is the one true way to legitimacy! The Internet wouldn't lie.
And look at alllll this cool stuff! I bet that jerk England doesn't have any purple gorillas! Purple gorillas are definitely the official mascot of Sealand. I'm going to put them on the flag somewhere. And you, you look like you're the biggest one! You can be the official royal gorilla. It's a very prestigious job, but I trust you with the responsibility. Basically it means you have to give me gorilla-back rides! Hahaha, WHEEEE~! Whoa, hey, be careful!! I'm going to fall o--uwaaaaaaauuughhhaaagaahhh!! Owwwww! F-Fine, never mind! I wanted the tentacle monster as my mascot instead anyway!
Hey, who says I'm not old enough for that? Just because I'm a little younger than the other countries doesn't mean you have to stick me with some weird dumb bear instead. I'm a grown-up official country and I can have whatever mascot I want! Sealand will not bend to your cruel ultimatum! ...hey, Mr. Bear, you're giving out candy? THE OFFICIAL BEAR OF SEALAND IT IS!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ashiya Mizuki
Series: Hana Kimi
Age: 15-17
Canon: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (aka "Hana Kimi") is the sparkly shoujo tale of a girl who crosses the ocean and disguises herself as a boy, all to infiltrate a boys-only school and get close to her crush: high-jump superstar Sano Izumi. What nobody ever told our heroine, though, is that it helps if you're actually at all decent at pretending to be a boy. Luckily, Mizuki's bright, cheery personality and Shoujo Powers Of Being Completely Adorable help win her allies in unexpected places, making her stay at Osaka High a long and fruitful one . . . sometimes literally, as far as being full of fruits goes. Mizuki embarks on a twenty-three volume epic quest to win the heart of the man who mustn't ever know she's a girl! despite the fact that he's known her secret since the first volume. The sexual tension is amazing.
Epic fail romance aside, Mizuki is an eternal optimist and a true friend, winning the hearts of everyone around her with determination and a tendency to Jesus people out of their problems with her sincere honesty and genuine concern for everyone's welfare. Energetic and enthusiastic to the point of being a danger to both herself and those around her, Mizuki gets into trouble and tight situations so often that it's frankly more notable when things are going well. However, her complete faith in her friends is well-deserved, since Sano, Nakatsu, or Dr. Umeda are always there to bail her right back out again. That said, innocent and oblivious as she often is, with a tendency to ramble, blush, stammer, talk to herself, and freak ouuuuut!! (only to bounce back seconds later), Mizuki definitely needs as much help as she can get.
Note: [Spoilers?] Mizuki is being taken from sometime before the last three volumes; she is still pretending to be a boy, and thinks her secret is safe.
Sample Post:
Ah! Hello, everyone! My name is Ashiya Mizuki, and I'm here with the students from Osaka High on the international summer camp exchange program! Um, I actually grew up in America, so I speak English very well. Don't be afraid to ask me anything mostly since we're all here to have fun, right? Um, if you're not speaking Japanese or English, though, I don't think I'm going to be able to understand you very well. I'll do my best, since there are people here from all over, and we should learn about each others' cultures, but . . . Oh! Maybe "braiiiinzay" is a foreign way of saying hello? It just sounds a lot like the English word "brains," though, so, um. Maybe it's Spanish?
A-anyway, I've read all about C.F.U.D. in the brochures they gave us, so I'm really excited! The "exotic Louisiana wildlife"-what kind of dogs are lycanthropes anyway? I hope they're cute-er, I mean, I like dogs, so . . . b-but they're wild dogs, that's interesting! And it says here that they like to come out around the full moon, so maybe we'll have nighttime outings. And . . . what else is there? Oh! The "seasonal flora" must mean you have a lot of really nice flowers at certain times of the year, right? Let's see! The tentaclus orficus invadicus, and the Pan Tee tree, and the rare, hooded night-blossoming clitoris! . . . w-wait, that can't be- w-well that doesn't matter! I'm not that interested in flowers, anyway. I am a boy after all.
No, really! Hahaha, w-why would you think I'm a girl? I go to an all-boys' school! And I've been assigned to a boys' cabin and everything! What do you mean, nobody follows that rule, anyway? Look, I'm just going to go to my boys' cabin and-eeeeek!! I-is that a-w-wow, what a great gorilla costume that p-person is wearing! Haha, it totally startled me for a minute, but I really need to get into my cabin now, so I . . . listen to me! Let me into the cabin! I'm not going to tolerate bullying, so why don't you just-huh! That's not a costume? . . . . . that's not a costume!?
SO I HEAR THE FOOD AT THE MESS HALL IS GREAT! Ha ha . . . ha! I'm going to go there now! And get inside! And then I'll. Well, after I find which cabin Sano's staying in, I'll just stay with him! Since mine clearly has an, um, exotic Louisiana wildlife, um. Problem. But, ah, even so . . . it's still all very exciting, isn't it? To be here with my friends from school, to meet new people and to have new experiences. Ah, maybe Sano and I can even go for a walk near the "luminescent radiation-soaked shores!" I'm sure they meant "radiant." So, that's it! I've decided it! Nothing is possibly going to ruin my time at C.F.U.D., so after a quick shower and some dinner, we'll just-
. . . you have communal showers. Oh no.
Poll Vote!
Character: Otani Atsushi.
Series: Lovely Complex.
Character Age: 17.
Canon: Lovely Complex tells the story of the teenagers Koizumi Risa and Otani Atsushi, who are respectively the tallest girl and the shortest boy in their class. They are often called "All Hanshin Kyojin" after a very famous Japanese comedy duo due to their constant bickering about their height differences, but despite all that, they slowly start getting to know each other and Koizumi even develops feelings for him. The story follows the hilarious hardships Koizumi goes through in order to gain Otani's affections.
What makes him so special? Well, Otani Atsushi is a very short-tempered, loud, obnoxious dork, who mood swings wildly, and who is also particularly oblivious to other people's feelings. Otani also enjoys the silliest things in life a little too much, getting easily excited over them, and doesn't seem to have any shame in showing his joy through shouting and gleeing. Enjoying basketball wholeheartedly, he earns the title of captain due to his talent in spite of being the shortest member in the team. Otani's good traits include being enthusiastic, his optimism, and friendly attitude... of course, this will change the moment someone insult him or remind him about his height. All in all, Otani is kind of a jerk and he is not your typical bishounen, but people can't help but love him, they might be ready to kill him one second, but the next he will do something fantastic to win their heart back.
Note: Umibouzu is Otani's favorite band.
Sample Post:
So this is what a basketball summer camp looks like in America, huh? Even though it's not summer! To be honest, this is nothing like I had imagined it to be! Not that I'm complaining, opportunities like these don't slap you in the face every day, and this could be fun! Though seriously, I think this place needs a little more balls and a little less limbs falling off! Just think about it for a minute, okay? I know Halloween just passed by, but I've been here for less than an hour and you've lost more limbs than I can count, it's starting to look kinda creepy and overdone to me. I'm not even going to start with the guys dressed up as purple gorillas over there, and just a suggestion, but. You might want to start by cleaning the lake. The idea of making it look like it's become toxic or something is fantastic and all, but the holiday is over now!
Still, I like this place. But this is looking more like an amusement park than a basketball summer camp to me! I'm kinda digging it. By the way, what's the name of this place? "Camp Fuck You Die"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't know much English, is that some kind of word play or what? Oh, and the name is Otani Atsushi. I'm glad to be staying here!
I should say, those singing toucans over there are a nice touch, even if I can't hear them all that way... WHAT?! Geez! They should be singing something better, if someone spent so much time teaching them how to do that. Maybe something cooler, like Umibouzu! Because honestly? This is insulting! Who the hell are you calling small, idiots! YES, YOU SHOULD FLY AWAY, TOUCANS! "That it's time we're aware, it's a small world after all ♪"? What kind of ridiculous song is that, and who would want to hear it anyway?! Forget it, I'm going to find whoever did that and show them how small I can be! Just wait!
Seriously, this Halloween thing is getting kind of retarded too! Take this trail of blood, for example. It's just doesn't make sense and it's starting to stink; besides my sneakers are dirty now, and it's not as appealing as you would probably want it to be, though it does look kind of real. ...Huh? What is that? A blood... slide...? WHAAAAAAAAA, IT REALLY IS! And it looks awesome! I gotta ride it! I can even go alone on this one, this is my lucky day! --What do you mean I can't?! I'M SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, YOU IDIOT! Take that stupid sign off and let me go through; I don't care if I'm shorter than Edward Elric or Allen Walker. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
What the hell?! Put me down, I want to go to the slide, not to the Baby Gorilla's Petting Zoo!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kougaiji
Series: Saiyuki
Character Age: couple hundred, appears roughly around 18
Canon: Saiyuki is the story of a perpetually hungry monkey, a perverted playboy, a smiling con-man, and a monk with severe anger management issues on a roadtrip across China. Full of wacky hijinks and antics, Saiyuki actually balances hilariously ridiculous and angsty mcangst surprisingly well. Sent on a journey to stop the resurrection of the Demon King, they realize along the way that something is destroying the previously peaceful co-existence between the youkai and humans in Shangri-La.
In addition to afore-mentioned wacky hijinks and antics, the four often end up fighting for their lives. Kougaiji and his subordinates have pretty much taken on the role of "enemy-friend". To save his imprisoned mother, Kougaiji has accepted his role of ULTIMATE TOOL in Saiyuki, doing whatever it is his Evil Stepmother wants. To support her ultimate goal of reviving his father the Demon King, Kougaiji has sent numerous assassins after our much-beloved protagonists. However, after meeting them, they quickly realize that he's more than just a puppet. Kougaiji is calm and charismatic, able to gain and keep the loyalty of the youkai who, often, refuse to follow anyone but themselves. He's polite but stern, respectful of even his opponents, and tolerates no nonsense.
Sample Post:
...Let's get down to business: to defeat the monks. Since we've heard of the failed raids on this human encampment, Togenkyou has decided to step in. Therefore, for this mission, I will be your commander. Stand up straight, tall, be proud of yourselves! We are youkai, remember. It is something to take pride in.
I recognize that many of you are embittered by the loss of your companions, allies and friends... You have my sympathies, but I will not beg for forgiveness. As you all know, our goal is absolute. We will not lose our heads when faced with a powerful opponent! We will put all of ourselves into reaching our final goal. Keep in mind what it is you are fighting for, whether you are fighting to protect someone of whether you fight for yourself. Go into battle willing to give an arm and a leg up for the cause, for the glory of victory and the necessity of sacrifice that comes with it. Remember that, at this time, we must prioritize doing what it is we were assigned to do.
Will you follow me, leave your lives in my hands? Will you pledge your loyalty to me and trust in me? I am Kougaiji, Prince of the Western Lands, and upon my name and honor, I swear to you: I will not run or desert you. If you should fall, you will not have fallen in vain!
...
At least a portion of you seem to be rather earnest about this. Those in front, your enthusiasm is appreciated, but it would be appreciated if you kept your distance. Despite my willingness to fight alongside you all, as it should be, I am still your superior and I will have the proper respect shown. And the same goes for you in the back. I have not finished speaking, so though you may be eager to become acquainted with your fellow fighters, I ask that you refrain until I have finished.
By which I mean, kindly remove your hand from his pants.
Poll Vote!