(no subject)
Next batch \o\ \o/ /o/
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Oshitari Yuushi
Series: Prince of Tennis
Character Age: 15
Canon: Once upon a time there was a boy who appeared at Seishun Gakuen, and he stunned the school (and all of Japan) by becoming the Prince of Tennis. The series follows the trials of Echizen Ryoma and his tennis team in various tennis tournaments, culminating with the Junior High School Nationals competition. One of the schools that Ryoma's school butts heads with is the upper class, elite Hyotei Academy, which appears to be populated with wealthy children.
Oshitari Yuushi is one of Hyotei's regular players; specifically, he's partnered with Mukahi Gakuto. They rarely play seriously, since they tend to defeat their opponents easily. This is an attitude that Oshitari seems to carry over from his non-tennis life: a sense of being better-than-you, one of coolness, and of calculation. His teammates don't call him Hyotei's genius for nothing - Oshitari doesn't need to flaunt himself (either on or off the court) to prove he's better than anyone, he just is. It's notable that his cool exterior gives him the ability to hide much of his thoughts and feelings behind a poker face. That's probably a good thing, as Yuushi is also the type to read romance novels and sometimes cry at chick flicks. It's nothing he's embarrassed over, but he's a sensitive guy, who sometimes focuses on the smaller things. Someone get him some tissue.
Sample Post:
So, what is it? Is it a ransom you want? Whatever it is, you clearly want something; otherwise you would never have resorted to something as low as kidnapping. Someone from Hyotei Academy... someone like me. It's an obvious choice, isn't it? To be used as a bargaining chip like this... I don't even need to explain more, even to a mindless cretin like yourself. Hold yourself together. Falling apart at a time like this... it's to be expected from a hastily pieced together operation.
If you had only told me that you wanted to learn tennis in the beginning, I would've considered teaching you. Not seriously, of course - it would take more than a simple request to push me to that point in a game, practice or not. However, seeing as I'm your captive, we've gone beyond that point now. Or perhaps I ought to say, you're beyond that point now. You're too slow, in both attack and defense. Your racquet is bent, and your balls are rotting. Why would you ever let your tennis balls get in such a state?
It's a difficult game, tennis, especially with balls like yours. However, this director... perhaps she'd be more interested in playing a match with me. I brought some balls of my own, so I'm more than ready to take her on. I'll even give her a handicap - I'll give her one point - and I'll start at love. That's zero. You're just learning, so I'll explain that. You shouldn't expect an opponent to give up any information so willingly in the future.
What's been mentioned of her story is interesting - a sentimental tale, but surprisingly cute, despite the circumstances. A woman coming to terms with loss by bringing all potential suspects to an eternal summer camp to live out her twisted fantasy as she sees fit. Strange, but it has potential. At least, it's a good effort. If you'd only made it a bit more realistic, I'd have an easier time believing it - but it would make a good read either way.
Anyhow, if we are all really "just suspects" in this murder case, then there was really no need to abduct me like this. I'm sure my alibi for the day in question is solid. My teammates could attest to that. They're reliable, or at least most of them are. I'm sure they're more so than most of the inhabitants here - at least they're clean and well-dressed and distinctly unique. In a manner that doesn't involve horrible odor.
What next? It seems my ball is now firmly in the director's court.
Poll Vote!
Character: Poland/Feliks Łukasiewicz
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Looks 19
Canon: Do you remember those history lessons back in school? It’s okay if you slept through them. Hetalia is all about making those history lessons so much more memorable by changing the countries into moe personifications of themselves based on national stereotypes. While the series started out being about the Second World War, it later expanded to cover more and more of the world’s history. Despite all the hardships of Polish history, Poland is easily one of the most fabulous countries.
Poland is in fact so fabulous that he talks with a valley accent and often cross-dresses, which is, like, totally cool. Poland never seems to think before he talks, which can get him in trouble with the other countries, but for some reason Poland always manages to come out fine from any situation. Poland can be shy around strangers, but can become really overbearing towards people he knows. He also relies a bit too much on Lithuania, since they were both former members of the common-wealth, and has a tendency to hide behind him when things get tough. Poland is very proud of his own country, though he can be a bit immature about it.
Sample Post:
Like, I’m totally not down with this!
Seriously, America, this place sucks to hold a world conference at. This Halloween theme is just, like, so gross. It’s so not in anymore with zombies like this, you know. Really, you should have gone with something cute and sexy instead. It would have been more rad, for sure. You should have gone with maybe nurse outfits; I could totally have sported that. If you go looking all sketchy like that, there’s no way you’ll get any candy, and that’s the whole purpose of Halloween, right?
Hey, you! I’m so talking to you right now, so listen t’what I’m saying! Yeah, you! The dweeb over there!, what kind of place in the middle of nowhere is this? Hey, it’s totes not cool to just ignore me! I’m talking to you and you should like, at least make an effort to listen. Cuz, you know, I’m really important on the world scene, okay? It’s not like I have Russia hanging over my back any longer, or Germany, or Austria, or Prussia, or… whateeeever! Hey, it’s totally not cool to drop your ears while I’m talking. If you’re gonna be like that just talk to the hand, cuz the face won’t listen.
So could anyone tell me where America actually is, cuz this is getting kinda lame. If this is some psych it’s so not funny anymore. I’m so, like, not scared or anything, but this place is just buggin’ me. So it would be all kinds of trippindicular if someone else than the zombie dweeb could tell me how to get out of this backyard. Like, have you realized what this moisture would do if it got to your clothes? To not mention the stench? I’m totally serious here.
Hey! Why are you poking me? I don’t wanna know your thoughts on yaoi! And you totally won’t find any ticky boxes on me! Geez, can’t you spell or something? It’s Pole and not poll, and no, you can’t see my serious pole. Are you even listening to me? Don’t you, like, try to forget me! Why, you say? Cuz I said so, and America did too!
Poll Vote!
Character: Larsa Ferrinas Solidor
Series: Final Fantasy XII
Character Age: 12
Canon:
The kingdom of Archardia, led by Emperor Gramis of House Solidor, has claimed rule over the small country of Dalmasca through military means. The son of the Emperor Gramis, Vayne Solidor, extends his power as he is appointed to be the Consul of Rabanastre, Dalmasca's capital city. With a bold and confident air Vayne speaks of respect and a brighter future for Rabanastre, but Vayne is an ambitious man with a hidden agenda. A mix of cunning politician and ruthless militaristic genius, Vayne can and will be cruel, and will stop at nothing to achieve what he seeks to. ... But obviously, there would be people who would try to stop him. Enter: our team of Main Characters and Good Guys Who Help.
While not strictly part of the Main Characters, Larsa is one of the Good Guys Who Help. The fourth son of the Emperor Gramis and brother to Vayne, Larsa is second-in-throne but has no desire for power, only peace and honour, and will work tirelessly for such ideals. A perfect gentleman to anyone he meets, Larsa displays an astounding amount of intelligence and maturity for a 12 year old, and takes a keen interest in matters of the state. He is sincere and speaks with conviction, but his age is apparent in his naivety and easy trust of others. It is this trait of his, however, that allows him to gain the trust and respect of those whose land his empire has conquered, as well as acquire followers that would do all to protect him.
Sample Post:
I thank you, Lady Fingers, for the sweets that you have offered me, as well as your invitation to your white van, but I must decline for I have a matter to attend to that I would prefer not to delay. I understand that you are familiar with the layout of the surrounding areas. My name is Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, and I am seeking to find and speak with those who live here. This swamp has been a challenging labyrinth and I would be glad if you were willing to aid me. In return, I would certainly reward you.
... Allowing you to watch me eat your banana is... not a typical request. But let us concentrate on the matter at hand, and put this aside for now. Rest assured that we will be able to arrive at a conclusion regarding the payment you are to receive. Allow me to explain the situation, first.
I have recently heard of people being held as prisoners in this area. I sent scouts, but unfortunately, the status report that I was to receive was switched with a "Serious Poll". While the poll was filled with rather strange questions and options, such as "do u liek chikn" (a high number said yes, should you be curious) and "ticky", I am concerned about the sheer number of people that appears to be held here. I was also told that there have been a disturbing increase in the number of "drops". If they are killing people... Well, I cannot say if I am completely certain of what this poll suggests, but I do believe it is a matter of concern. I wish to meet the persons who have written this poll, for this poll may bear more information that what we may now understand of it. To start off, I would ask if there has been any new, unfamiliar faces that you might have seen recently, but I have also been informed that a number of new faces appear every month. This makes my search more difficult, and... ah, you say that you have a few documents about some new arrivals, but they are at home in the van that you had previously mentioned? ... So you live there.
My Lady. If you are living in a van, I do not believe that is beneficial to your health. I had not known living conditions were so poor... This will change. I make this a promise to you. For now, please, Lady Fingers, if you would be so kind as to allow me to accompany you as you make your way back to the encampment. You as someone familiar with the grounds would be far more suited in leading us, and I am determined to seek more suitable shelter for you once we have reached our destination. This be a dangerous venture? Be troubled not. I have never heard of the species of bear known as "pedobear", but I hold confidence that I am capable of defending both of us from this bear you speak of. By what manner, you ask? Since young I have been trained for such-- I am more than capable with a rapier.
... No, Lady Fingers, I had meant not a raper, but a rapier.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jim Hawkins
Series: Treasure Planet
Character Age: 15
Canon: Treasure Planet is a fairly straightforward retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic Treasure Island…other than the addition of cyborgs, shapeshifters, and space adventures. Jim Hawkins, a teenager, is unexpectedly left with a map. Specifically, a map to the legendary Treasure Planet, rumored to hold the loot of a thousand worlds. Obviously, Jim sets out to find this treasure. Along the way, he befriends the ship’s cook, a cyborg called Long John Silver, encounters pirates and ultimately matures from a boy to a young man in this tragically underrated Disney adventure.
Growing up without a father is hard, but for Jim, it was made even harder after his father abandoned him and his mother when he was at a young age. However, after beginning his voyage to Treasure Planet, the bitterness he had for his father eventually disappears. This is thanks mostly in part to Silver, who had become something of a father figure to him. Though Jim may not look it, he is actually quite intelligent and resourceful, one example being how he’s the only person who can solve the puzzle of the map to Treasure Planet. During the voyage, he proved himself to be just as brave as any other spacer and with a determination not many can match. Due to possessing a fair amount of cynicism, winning Jim’s trust over is a bit difficult, but once you do, you can guarantee he’ll be the most loyal friend you’ll ever have. Subsequently, he doesn’t take too kindly to betrayal.
Sample Post:
So, I just have to find these-what are they called again? Oh right-‘lolis’ and they should have…“whatever I need”? Um, well, no offense sir, but I don’t think they’re going to be much help. In fact, I don’t think this planet is the one I’m looking for. Ah, I didn’t mean it like that! I think your planet’s pretty special too, it’s just that the thing I’m searching for doesn’t look like it’s even anywhere near this side of the galaxy-at least according to the map. That, and the giant neon sign screaming “WELCOME TO HELL CAMP FUCK YOU DIE!!” is also a pretty dead giveaway. Congratulations James Pleiades Hawkins, you just screwed up big time…again.
Er, what’s that? Oh, I think you misheard me. I didn’t mean “screwed” like that. I meant “screwed up”, as in totally messed up. No, I don’t mean it like “totally messed up in the head” either. By “messed up” I mean failed. You know, it’s what happens if you don’t study for a math test or something. Trust me on this one. Or in my case, being put on a scouting mission and returning empty handed.
Assuming I can even get out of this place. Okay, what just happened to my boat? I could’ve sworn it was right here! Huh? What do you mean a ‘Marcy’ took it? No, see, you don’t just swipe a boat from right under someone’s nose, especially not one that easily weighs over two hundred and fifty pounds. I don’t think even Silver and I together can lift it up without some support and if a cyborg can’t, then there’s really no chance anyone else can. Come on, what really happened?
…A giant tentacle lake monster. Riiight. Heh, the next thing you’re gonna tell me is you’ve got a flock of toucans hiding in the trees waiting for the right moment to steal our underwear and carry them off to make nests. Wait, what do you mean “you never know”? Well, either way, if I’m gonna get out of here, I’ll need some spare parts.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn’t mean actual spare body parts! I meant the mechanical kinds-ugh, just forget it!
Poll Vote!
Character: Infiltration Unit Zeta ("Zee" for short)
Series: The Zeta Project
Age: ~2 yrs old (default appearance ~20)
Canon: Infiltration Unit Zeta is a "synthoid" created by the National Security Agency (NSA) , programmed to mimic a target, infiltrate their ranks, and ultimately eliminate the target and all known accomplices. A super-advanced robot, Zeta is the perfect spy and an efficient killer. Or rather, he was, until his secretly-implanted conscience module activated and he learned the value of human life. While on assignment approximately a year ago, Zeta learned that his target was innocent. It was at this point that Zeta went rogue -- he refused to eliminate the target, and has been on the run from the NSA (who believe he was reprogrammed by the terrorists and needs a memory wipe) ever since. Zeta's new mission? Find Dr. Selig, the man who created him, and prove to the world that he can be peaceful.
Zeta, or "Zee" as his human sidekick Ro calls him, is remarkably kind and selfless. He travels the country with Ro making new allies and searching for his creator, repeatedly putting his metallic life and limb on the line to save those in danger. He enjoys riding motorcycles and loves children and flowers, but long walks on the beach would likely get sand in his joints. Zeta's main issue with being on the run is that since he's no longer using pre-assembled data to mimic someone in particular, he doesn't know how to "play human." Zeta is, for all intents and purposes, an extraordinarily well-read child in a robot's body. Puppyish and innocent, he has a lot to learn about humanity and emotions and love, but his curiosity and intelligence are more than adequate for the task.
Sample: I'm glad you decided to stay in the car, Ro, this one really is top secret and I couldn't risk having to cover you as well as myself. But don't worry -- you'll be able to hear me and see what I see on the vidscreen. I'm sorry this isn't more entertaining for you. They should really cut down some of these trees and put up a parking facility -- this has been an awfully long walk from the road. Wait... Magnify: 40x. Yes, there are buildings down there, I will keep going. Strange that the net said Dr. Selig would be here. This doesn't look like the sort of place to hold a secret robotics conference.
Oh. I stand corrected. But of what use is a robotic cow? Cows are valued by humans because they produce milk and meat, and a robotic cow can do neither of those things. Your average cow is also considered to be too large for a housepet, not that this model is full-sized. Hello, little Cowbot. My name is Zee. Are you lost? I don't think there are any presentations going on out here, but if you come with me, I'm sure we'll find your creator. I'm looking for mine, as well. All the people seem to be over that way--Cowbot, no! Not in the water! You aren't a real cow, I don't think you can... no, clearly you can't swim. I hope you're waterproof like I am. Ro, I'm going to have to go in after it, but I don't think you'll be able to see anything, so--oh. Hold on, a rescue is already in progress.
Scanning: 2x. Zombies. Fictional monsters; the undead. But these are behaving with an abnormal degree of altruism. Excuse me, zombies? I have a few questions for you, if that's alright. Although my data says you're monsters, your actions are kind -- is it possible you're also fighting against your programming? Neither the little Cowbot nor I have brains, of course, so there's no point in attacking. But being undead, I wouldn't expect the higher thought processes of logic to still be intact. Well, zombies?
...it would appear that only word they can say is 'brains,' Ro. Just a moment. Processing: Cross-referencing linguistic patterns. It would seem they're talking about finding a new member for their synchronized swim team. I don't believe the cowbot would be an ideal choice -- oh, you meant me? While I could take your form, I could not interchange my limbs with yours, and that appears to be a crucial part of your routine -- no, please don't try to prove me wrong. I'm afraid I will not be joining you, but thank you for rescuing the Cowbot. There, little Cowbot, run along.
Hmm. The presence of zombies implies it would in fact be dangerous for humans to enter into this area, and my satellite maps indicate that the road I walked from is the only one through the region. I do not believe this is a robotics conference after all. Perhaps the NSA has a file on this place.
Accessing: NSA Mainframe. Downloading file: Camp Fuck You Die.
Download complete.
...now I'm even more confused.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Jace Wayland
Series: The Mortal Instruments Trilogy by Cassandra Clare
Age: 17
Canon: A thousand years ago, the angel Raziel mixed his blood with human blood, and from that were born the first Shadowhunters -- angel/human hybrids. Sworn to defeat demons, the Shadowhunters stand between humanity (or "Mundanes") and demons. That is, when they aren't dealing with insurrections, attempted genocide, overblown adolescent angst and incest. At least they look damn fine while dealing with all of this. Jace is one of these Shadowhunters, an unearthly beautiful blond boy with a backstory that would spoil the entire plot of the series.
Fortunately, Jace isn't the kind to talk about his tragic past. He'd much rather deflect attention away from subjects he's not interested in with wit, sarcasm, patronising condescension and a good dollop of self-aware narcissism. Of course, this isn't all that there is to Jace. When Jace's mask slips, he's really a lost teenaged boy looking for a place where he belongs. The trick is getting the mask to slip in the first place, as he's had years of practice keeping it up. Despite his affected disinterest in your little issues, Jace will always be there if you're ever really in trouble. Possibly with a quip about how this is ruining his clothing.
Sample Post:
I knew Mundies were pretty pathetic. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't hate Mundanes. In fact, some of my close friends are Mundanes, if "close" means "they stand near me sometimes and I haven't told them to leave yet". But it is quite overkill for a Shadowhunter to be dealing with the shambling undead. I admit, I'm quite good at dealing with demons that would make you whimper for the light. It's what I do. But zombies? Please. Walk faster. Their limbs will drop off soon enough, which would be quite unfortunate for them. There's hardly any disabled access to cabins here. Pity really, I hear there are laws about discrimination against the disabled. It'll give your lawyers something to do.
Talking about something to do, this place is a hovel. Seeing as though I still have to deal with that little barrier of yours, I'm going to be here a short time. And, looking around? This place is definitely below the standards I set for myself. I know I'm the brightest thing in any given room, but I do like to have to try for it. Perhaps after you've finished dealing with your little undead problem, you can attend to that. A bit of renovation, a bit of plastic surgery for the less attractive of you -- and that would be most of you -- maybe some modern amenities -- and I use the word "modern" loosely, as the Romans had working plumbing -- and this place might pick right up. Sooner, if you can, because all the lack of civilization is hell on my skin. My body is a temple and right now, you are defiling it.
While you take care of that, I'm going to deal with the important things. Namely, the only demon I've found here worth my time. Surely you've noticed the monster in the lake? Goes by Marcy? I'm surprised you call her a "tentacle monster"; clearly she's a succubus. You never wondered why she wanted to bugger you senseless? Mundies. It's fortunate for you all that I'm here -- it's a little known fact that succubi can only handle a certain level of sexiness and I am well over this succubus' allotment. Oh, and I suppose my seraph blade through her eye socket would help too. In all things, I am the only one doing the penetrating.
Marcy! Are you ready to dance? I promise, I'll be the finest partner you've ever had.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Oshitari Yuushi
Series: Prince of Tennis
Character Age: 15
Canon: Once upon a time there was a boy who appeared at Seishun Gakuen, and he stunned the school (and all of Japan) by becoming the Prince of Tennis. The series follows the trials of Echizen Ryoma and his tennis team in various tennis tournaments, culminating with the Junior High School Nationals competition. One of the schools that Ryoma's school butts heads with is the upper class, elite Hyotei Academy, which appears to be populated with wealthy children.
Oshitari Yuushi is one of Hyotei's regular players; specifically, he's partnered with Mukahi Gakuto. They rarely play seriously, since they tend to defeat their opponents easily. This is an attitude that Oshitari seems to carry over from his non-tennis life: a sense of being better-than-you, one of coolness, and of calculation. His teammates don't call him Hyotei's genius for nothing - Oshitari doesn't need to flaunt himself (either on or off the court) to prove he's better than anyone, he just is. It's notable that his cool exterior gives him the ability to hide much of his thoughts and feelings behind a poker face. That's probably a good thing, as Yuushi is also the type to read romance novels and sometimes cry at chick flicks. It's nothing he's embarrassed over, but he's a sensitive guy, who sometimes focuses on the smaller things. Someone get him some tissue.
Sample Post:
So, what is it? Is it a ransom you want? Whatever it is, you clearly want something; otherwise you would never have resorted to something as low as kidnapping. Someone from Hyotei Academy... someone like me. It's an obvious choice, isn't it? To be used as a bargaining chip like this... I don't even need to explain more, even to a mindless cretin like yourself. Hold yourself together. Falling apart at a time like this... it's to be expected from a hastily pieced together operation.
If you had only told me that you wanted to learn tennis in the beginning, I would've considered teaching you. Not seriously, of course - it would take more than a simple request to push me to that point in a game, practice or not. However, seeing as I'm your captive, we've gone beyond that point now. Or perhaps I ought to say, you're beyond that point now. You're too slow, in both attack and defense. Your racquet is bent, and your balls are rotting. Why would you ever let your tennis balls get in such a state?
It's a difficult game, tennis, especially with balls like yours. However, this director... perhaps she'd be more interested in playing a match with me. I brought some balls of my own, so I'm more than ready to take her on. I'll even give her a handicap - I'll give her one point - and I'll start at love. That's zero. You're just learning, so I'll explain that. You shouldn't expect an opponent to give up any information so willingly in the future.
What's been mentioned of her story is interesting - a sentimental tale, but surprisingly cute, despite the circumstances. A woman coming to terms with loss by bringing all potential suspects to an eternal summer camp to live out her twisted fantasy as she sees fit. Strange, but it has potential. At least, it's a good effort. If you'd only made it a bit more realistic, I'd have an easier time believing it - but it would make a good read either way.
Anyhow, if we are all really "just suspects" in this murder case, then there was really no need to abduct me like this. I'm sure my alibi for the day in question is solid. My teammates could attest to that. They're reliable, or at least most of them are. I'm sure they're more so than most of the inhabitants here - at least they're clean and well-dressed and distinctly unique. In a manner that doesn't involve horrible odor.
What next? It seems my ball is now firmly in the director's court.
Poll Vote!
Character: Poland/Feliks Łukasiewicz
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Looks 19
Canon: Do you remember those history lessons back in school? It’s okay if you slept through them. Hetalia is all about making those history lessons so much more memorable by changing the countries into moe personifications of themselves based on national stereotypes. While the series started out being about the Second World War, it later expanded to cover more and more of the world’s history. Despite all the hardships of Polish history, Poland is easily one of the most fabulous countries.
Poland is in fact so fabulous that he talks with a valley accent and often cross-dresses, which is, like, totally cool. Poland never seems to think before he talks, which can get him in trouble with the other countries, but for some reason Poland always manages to come out fine from any situation. Poland can be shy around strangers, but can become really overbearing towards people he knows. He also relies a bit too much on Lithuania, since they were both former members of the common-wealth, and has a tendency to hide behind him when things get tough. Poland is very proud of his own country, though he can be a bit immature about it.
Sample Post:
Like, I’m totally not down with this!
Seriously, America, this place sucks to hold a world conference at. This Halloween theme is just, like, so gross. It’s so not in anymore with zombies like this, you know. Really, you should have gone with something cute and sexy instead. It would have been more rad, for sure. You should have gone with maybe nurse outfits; I could totally have sported that. If you go looking all sketchy like that, there’s no way you’ll get any candy, and that’s the whole purpose of Halloween, right?
Hey, you! I’m so talking to you right now, so listen t’what I’m saying! Yeah, you! The dweeb over there!, what kind of place in the middle of nowhere is this? Hey, it’s totes not cool to just ignore me! I’m talking to you and you should like, at least make an effort to listen. Cuz, you know, I’m really important on the world scene, okay? It’s not like I have Russia hanging over my back any longer, or Germany, or Austria, or Prussia, or… whateeeever! Hey, it’s totally not cool to drop your ears while I’m talking. If you’re gonna be like that just talk to the hand, cuz the face won’t listen.
So could anyone tell me where America actually is, cuz this is getting kinda lame. If this is some psych it’s so not funny anymore. I’m so, like, not scared or anything, but this place is just buggin’ me. So it would be all kinds of trippindicular if someone else than the zombie dweeb could tell me how to get out of this backyard. Like, have you realized what this moisture would do if it got to your clothes? To not mention the stench? I’m totally serious here.
Hey! Why are you poking me? I don’t wanna know your thoughts on yaoi! And you totally won’t find any ticky boxes on me! Geez, can’t you spell or something? It’s Pole and not poll, and no, you can’t see my serious pole. Are you even listening to me? Don’t you, like, try to forget me! Why, you say? Cuz I said so, and America did too!
Poll Vote!
Character: Larsa Ferrinas Solidor
Series: Final Fantasy XII
Character Age: 12
Canon:
The kingdom of Archardia, led by Emperor Gramis of House Solidor, has claimed rule over the small country of Dalmasca through military means. The son of the Emperor Gramis, Vayne Solidor, extends his power as he is appointed to be the Consul of Rabanastre, Dalmasca's capital city. With a bold and confident air Vayne speaks of respect and a brighter future for Rabanastre, but Vayne is an ambitious man with a hidden agenda. A mix of cunning politician and ruthless militaristic genius, Vayne can and will be cruel, and will stop at nothing to achieve what he seeks to. ... But obviously, there would be people who would try to stop him. Enter: our team of Main Characters and Good Guys Who Help.
While not strictly part of the Main Characters, Larsa is one of the Good Guys Who Help. The fourth son of the Emperor Gramis and brother to Vayne, Larsa is second-in-throne but has no desire for power, only peace and honour, and will work tirelessly for such ideals. A perfect gentleman to anyone he meets, Larsa displays an astounding amount of intelligence and maturity for a 12 year old, and takes a keen interest in matters of the state. He is sincere and speaks with conviction, but his age is apparent in his naivety and easy trust of others. It is this trait of his, however, that allows him to gain the trust and respect of those whose land his empire has conquered, as well as acquire followers that would do all to protect him.
Sample Post:
I thank you, Lady Fingers, for the sweets that you have offered me, as well as your invitation to your white van, but I must decline for I have a matter to attend to that I would prefer not to delay. I understand that you are familiar with the layout of the surrounding areas. My name is Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, and I am seeking to find and speak with those who live here. This swamp has been a challenging labyrinth and I would be glad if you were willing to aid me. In return, I would certainly reward you.
... Allowing you to watch me eat your banana is... not a typical request. But let us concentrate on the matter at hand, and put this aside for now. Rest assured that we will be able to arrive at a conclusion regarding the payment you are to receive. Allow me to explain the situation, first.
I have recently heard of people being held as prisoners in this area. I sent scouts, but unfortunately, the status report that I was to receive was switched with a "Serious Poll". While the poll was filled with rather strange questions and options, such as "do u liek chikn" (a high number said yes, should you be curious) and "ticky", I am concerned about the sheer number of people that appears to be held here. I was also told that there have been a disturbing increase in the number of "drops". If they are killing people... Well, I cannot say if I am completely certain of what this poll suggests, but I do believe it is a matter of concern. I wish to meet the persons who have written this poll, for this poll may bear more information that what we may now understand of it. To start off, I would ask if there has been any new, unfamiliar faces that you might have seen recently, but I have also been informed that a number of new faces appear every month. This makes my search more difficult, and... ah, you say that you have a few documents about some new arrivals, but they are at home in the van that you had previously mentioned? ... So you live there.
My Lady. If you are living in a van, I do not believe that is beneficial to your health. I had not known living conditions were so poor... This will change. I make this a promise to you. For now, please, Lady Fingers, if you would be so kind as to allow me to accompany you as you make your way back to the encampment. You as someone familiar with the grounds would be far more suited in leading us, and I am determined to seek more suitable shelter for you once we have reached our destination. This be a dangerous venture? Be troubled not. I have never heard of the species of bear known as "pedobear", but I hold confidence that I am capable of defending both of us from this bear you speak of. By what manner, you ask? Since young I have been trained for such-- I am more than capable with a rapier.
... No, Lady Fingers, I had meant not a raper, but a rapier.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jim Hawkins
Series: Treasure Planet
Character Age: 15
Canon: Treasure Planet is a fairly straightforward retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic Treasure Island…other than the addition of cyborgs, shapeshifters, and space adventures. Jim Hawkins, a teenager, is unexpectedly left with a map. Specifically, a map to the legendary Treasure Planet, rumored to hold the loot of a thousand worlds. Obviously, Jim sets out to find this treasure. Along the way, he befriends the ship’s cook, a cyborg called Long John Silver, encounters pirates and ultimately matures from a boy to a young man in this tragically underrated Disney adventure.
Growing up without a father is hard, but for Jim, it was made even harder after his father abandoned him and his mother when he was at a young age. However, after beginning his voyage to Treasure Planet, the bitterness he had for his father eventually disappears. This is thanks mostly in part to Silver, who had become something of a father figure to him. Though Jim may not look it, he is actually quite intelligent and resourceful, one example being how he’s the only person who can solve the puzzle of the map to Treasure Planet. During the voyage, he proved himself to be just as brave as any other spacer and with a determination not many can match. Due to possessing a fair amount of cynicism, winning Jim’s trust over is a bit difficult, but once you do, you can guarantee he’ll be the most loyal friend you’ll ever have. Subsequently, he doesn’t take too kindly to betrayal.
Sample Post:
So, I just have to find these-what are they called again? Oh right-‘lolis’ and they should have…“whatever I need”? Um, well, no offense sir, but I don’t think they’re going to be much help. In fact, I don’t think this planet is the one I’m looking for. Ah, I didn’t mean it like that! I think your planet’s pretty special too, it’s just that the thing I’m searching for doesn’t look like it’s even anywhere near this side of the galaxy-at least according to the map. That, and the giant neon sign screaming “WELCOME TO HELL CAMP FUCK YOU DIE!!” is also a pretty dead giveaway. Congratulations James Pleiades Hawkins, you just screwed up big time…again.
Er, what’s that? Oh, I think you misheard me. I didn’t mean “screwed” like that. I meant “screwed up”, as in totally messed up. No, I don’t mean it like “totally messed up in the head” either. By “messed up” I mean failed. You know, it’s what happens if you don’t study for a math test or something. Trust me on this one. Or in my case, being put on a scouting mission and returning empty handed.
Assuming I can even get out of this place. Okay, what just happened to my boat? I could’ve sworn it was right here! Huh? What do you mean a ‘Marcy’ took it? No, see, you don’t just swipe a boat from right under someone’s nose, especially not one that easily weighs over two hundred and fifty pounds. I don’t think even Silver and I together can lift it up without some support and if a cyborg can’t, then there’s really no chance anyone else can. Come on, what really happened?
…A giant tentacle lake monster. Riiight. Heh, the next thing you’re gonna tell me is you’ve got a flock of toucans hiding in the trees waiting for the right moment to steal our underwear and carry them off to make nests. Wait, what do you mean “you never know”? Well, either way, if I’m gonna get out of here, I’ll need some spare parts.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn’t mean actual spare body parts! I meant the mechanical kinds-ugh, just forget it!
Poll Vote!
Character: Infiltration Unit Zeta ("Zee" for short)
Series: The Zeta Project
Age: ~2 yrs old (default appearance ~20)
Canon: Infiltration Unit Zeta is a "synthoid" created by the National Security Agency (NSA) , programmed to mimic a target, infiltrate their ranks, and ultimately eliminate the target and all known accomplices. A super-advanced robot, Zeta is the perfect spy and an efficient killer. Or rather, he was, until his secretly-implanted conscience module activated and he learned the value of human life. While on assignment approximately a year ago, Zeta learned that his target was innocent. It was at this point that Zeta went rogue -- he refused to eliminate the target, and has been on the run from the NSA (who believe he was reprogrammed by the terrorists and needs a memory wipe) ever since. Zeta's new mission? Find Dr. Selig, the man who created him, and prove to the world that he can be peaceful.
Zeta, or "Zee" as his human sidekick Ro calls him, is remarkably kind and selfless. He travels the country with Ro making new allies and searching for his creator, repeatedly putting his metallic life and limb on the line to save those in danger. He enjoys riding motorcycles and loves children and flowers, but long walks on the beach would likely get sand in his joints. Zeta's main issue with being on the run is that since he's no longer using pre-assembled data to mimic someone in particular, he doesn't know how to "play human." Zeta is, for all intents and purposes, an extraordinarily well-read child in a robot's body. Puppyish and innocent, he has a lot to learn about humanity and emotions and love, but his curiosity and intelligence are more than adequate for the task.
Sample: I'm glad you decided to stay in the car, Ro, this one really is top secret and I couldn't risk having to cover you as well as myself. But don't worry -- you'll be able to hear me and see what I see on the vidscreen. I'm sorry this isn't more entertaining for you. They should really cut down some of these trees and put up a parking facility -- this has been an awfully long walk from the road. Wait... Magnify: 40x. Yes, there are buildings down there, I will keep going. Strange that the net said Dr. Selig would be here. This doesn't look like the sort of place to hold a secret robotics conference.
Oh. I stand corrected. But of what use is a robotic cow? Cows are valued by humans because they produce milk and meat, and a robotic cow can do neither of those things. Your average cow is also considered to be too large for a housepet, not that this model is full-sized. Hello, little Cowbot. My name is Zee. Are you lost? I don't think there are any presentations going on out here, but if you come with me, I'm sure we'll find your creator. I'm looking for mine, as well. All the people seem to be over that way--Cowbot, no! Not in the water! You aren't a real cow, I don't think you can... no, clearly you can't swim. I hope you're waterproof like I am. Ro, I'm going to have to go in after it, but I don't think you'll be able to see anything, so--oh. Hold on, a rescue is already in progress.
Scanning: 2x. Zombies. Fictional monsters; the undead. But these are behaving with an abnormal degree of altruism. Excuse me, zombies? I have a few questions for you, if that's alright. Although my data says you're monsters, your actions are kind -- is it possible you're also fighting against your programming? Neither the little Cowbot nor I have brains, of course, so there's no point in attacking. But being undead, I wouldn't expect the higher thought processes of logic to still be intact. Well, zombies?
...it would appear that only word they can say is 'brains,' Ro. Just a moment. Processing: Cross-referencing linguistic patterns. It would seem they're talking about finding a new member for their synchronized swim team. I don't believe the cowbot would be an ideal choice -- oh, you meant me? While I could take your form, I could not interchange my limbs with yours, and that appears to be a crucial part of your routine -- no, please don't try to prove me wrong. I'm afraid I will not be joining you, but thank you for rescuing the Cowbot. There, little Cowbot, run along.
Hmm. The presence of zombies implies it would in fact be dangerous for humans to enter into this area, and my satellite maps indicate that the road I walked from is the only one through the region. I do not believe this is a robotics conference after all. Perhaps the NSA has a file on this place.
Accessing: NSA Mainframe. Downloading file: Camp Fuck You Die.
Download complete.
...now I'm even more confused.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Jace Wayland
Series: The Mortal Instruments Trilogy by Cassandra Clare
Age: 17
Canon: A thousand years ago, the angel Raziel mixed his blood with human blood, and from that were born the first Shadowhunters -- angel/human hybrids. Sworn to defeat demons, the Shadowhunters stand between humanity (or "Mundanes") and demons. That is, when they aren't dealing with insurrections, attempted genocide, overblown adolescent angst and incest. At least they look damn fine while dealing with all of this. Jace is one of these Shadowhunters, an unearthly beautiful blond boy with a backstory that would spoil the entire plot of the series.
Fortunately, Jace isn't the kind to talk about his tragic past. He'd much rather deflect attention away from subjects he's not interested in with wit, sarcasm, patronising condescension and a good dollop of self-aware narcissism. Of course, this isn't all that there is to Jace. When Jace's mask slips, he's really a lost teenaged boy looking for a place where he belongs. The trick is getting the mask to slip in the first place, as he's had years of practice keeping it up. Despite his affected disinterest in your little issues, Jace will always be there if you're ever really in trouble. Possibly with a quip about how this is ruining his clothing.
Sample Post:
I knew Mundies were pretty pathetic. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't hate Mundanes. In fact, some of my close friends are Mundanes, if "close" means "they stand near me sometimes and I haven't told them to leave yet". But it is quite overkill for a Shadowhunter to be dealing with the shambling undead. I admit, I'm quite good at dealing with demons that would make you whimper for the light. It's what I do. But zombies? Please. Walk faster. Their limbs will drop off soon enough, which would be quite unfortunate for them. There's hardly any disabled access to cabins here. Pity really, I hear there are laws about discrimination against the disabled. It'll give your lawyers something to do.
Talking about something to do, this place is a hovel. Seeing as though I still have to deal with that little barrier of yours, I'm going to be here a short time. And, looking around? This place is definitely below the standards I set for myself. I know I'm the brightest thing in any given room, but I do like to have to try for it. Perhaps after you've finished dealing with your little undead problem, you can attend to that. A bit of renovation, a bit of plastic surgery for the less attractive of you -- and that would be most of you -- maybe some modern amenities -- and I use the word "modern" loosely, as the Romans had working plumbing -- and this place might pick right up. Sooner, if you can, because all the lack of civilization is hell on my skin. My body is a temple and right now, you are defiling it.
While you take care of that, I'm going to deal with the important things. Namely, the only demon I've found here worth my time. Surely you've noticed the monster in the lake? Goes by Marcy? I'm surprised you call her a "tentacle monster"; clearly she's a succubus. You never wondered why she wanted to bugger you senseless? Mundies. It's fortunate for you all that I'm here -- it's a little known fact that succubi can only handle a certain level of sexiness and I am well over this succubus' allotment. Oh, and I suppose my seraph blade through her eye socket would help too. In all things, I am the only one doing the penetrating.
Marcy! Are you ready to dance? I promise, I'll be the finest partner you've ever had.
Poll Vote!