(Untitled)

[fu_noobspeaker]

[Outside of the mess hall, a message has been posted on a rather large sandwich board. In fact, it's impossible to miss. It reads:]

BANNED ITEMS:

- Sex
- Sugar
- Hitler
- Applebee's
- The Electric Slide
- Umbrellas
- Flashlights

Enjoy your hair scrunchies, y'all! I knew you missed 'em!

[. . . nearby, there is a bucket full of hair scrunchies.]

Comments

[coreofthematter]

Now, what in tarnation--?!

[somepony's mane and tail have been banded with pink poodles and she does not look too pleased about it.]

[musclebeast_nut]

D --> What seems to be the problem you are e%periencing

[coreofthematter]

Whoa nelly! Don't creep up on a pony like that, y'hear? Ya scared me half ta--

[coreofthematter]

--beg your pardon, but ya look a little pale. Are ya feelin' all right?

[musclebeast_nut]

D --> I apo100gize for my sudden arrival
D --> I did not mean to offend such a noble creature as yourself
D --> As for your question, I can only assume you are referring to my comple%ion and appearance
D --> I will assure you that I am quite healthy

[coreofthematter]

Don't you worry yourself none, I was just surprised, is all! Sorry 'bout my overreactin'. I ain't quite used to meetin' too many non-ponyfolk just yet.

[musclebeast_nut]

D --> That is quite understandabull
D --> Trolls such as myself are not in the majority of the population, either
D --> It seems that you and your fel100w equine majesties are in much the same position

[coreofthematter]

Equine majesties..? You've met some of my friends here, then?

[musclebeast_nut]

D --> I have met one of your winged friends, yes
D --> She is very graceful and the perfect e%ample of equine elegance and poise

[coreofthematter]

[... slowly backing away from this guy seems like a great idea]

Oh, ya must be talkin' about Fluttershy! She's the kindest pony ya could ever hope t'meet. And golly, where're my manners? I almost forgot t'introduce myself! My name's Applejack.

[musclebeast_nut]

D --> It is my utmost pleasure, Applejack
D --> My name is Equius
D --> Please do not hesitate to find me if you ever require assistance of any sort
D --> It would be my honor to serve you

[coreofthematter]

Thank ya kindly, Equius. I'll keep that in mind.

...Err, are ya feelin' all right?

[musclebeast_nut]

D --> Erm, yes
D --> Pardon me
D --> I must e%cuse myself for now
D --> I hope we will chat again soon

[> Equius: Make a hasty retreat to find a clean towel.]

[coreofthematter]

... Well, that certainly was interestin'.

[and thus, the pink poodle scrunchies were forgotten in the light of meeting the most uncomfortable troll ever.]