itp: HEAT WAVE.

[fu_noobspeaker]

Well gosh, campers! I hope you all are enjoying your families and counseling and counseling families and barracudas! Remember, you've only got a few more days to complete that assignment, counselors! I believe in you, and so does Taylor Swift

Comments

[12stepstoohigh]

Fuck you, Noobspeaker.

[he's pulling a large cardboard box behind him, on a rope tied through holes in the side. hmm...]

[12stepstoohigh]

Thank you, death, for making sure I'll never breed.

[ohno_u_didnt]

...oh right...

[12stepstoohigh]

...not that face, lovely. Do you really want me to procrastinate?

[ohno_u_didnt]

That's the wrong word. And I just....forget sometimes. So when I'm reminded it's...

[12stepstoohigh]

The word that means make little Masons.

...does it bother you?

[ohno_u_didnt]

Procreate.

It's....not a matter of "bother". It's not something I hold against you or anything like that. And it doesn't make me uncomfortable. It just....

[12stepstoohigh]

...I'm stupid, darling, you'll have to elaborate.

[ohno_u_didnt]

The dead thing doesn't bother me unless I start thinking it bothers you.

[12stepstoohigh]

Not a bit. I'll be pretty until I reach my quota!

[ohno_u_didnt]

Quota?

[12stepstoohigh]

Reapers get chosen at random, and we're all assigned a number. We have to take a certain number of souls before we can have our lights... it keeps you working, I guess, because most people want to move on. It's not a nice job. Not pretty, not glamorous, and we don't bloody get paid. We don't know how many souls we have to take, and some people have been wandering around for centuries, on the periphery. Some people go in a few months. No telling.

We're around until our last soul. They say you know which one.

I say why rush it. But I didn't die with regrets, or baggage, or anything unfinished. Must be frustrating, for those ones. Undeath is more like extra time. It's not fun, either, but it's more.

[ohno_u_didnt]

...you liked Japan, right? If being a reaper is that bad, and if you're not in a rush to move on....

[12stepstoohigh]

I loved Japan. Do you think you have reapers? If I don't get my post-its, I'll never get to go.

[ohno_u_didnt]

...We could check during vacation?

[12stepstoohigh]

I don't know how. We're not quite organized... no labor union for soul takers, no 1-800-YOU-REAP. You're assigned to a division, and the poor fuck in charge is stuck around for ages.

I could go graveling-spotting.