(no subject)
WHAT HORROR IS THIS? I COME BACK FROM YEARLY POLAR BEAR HUNT TO LEARN OUR DEAR SAINT NICHOLAS HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED! WHAT MANNER OF MADNESS BE THIS? WHAT DEFILER WOULD RISK MISSING A COMPONENTIN' OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON? AND WHAT BEAST OF A SON OF AN IDYET HAS THE STONES TO LEAVE A RANSOM NOTE, DEMANDIN' ALL THE TOYS THEM LITTLE ELVES HAVE ALREADY MADE?
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SUCH GALL! SUCH NEFARIOUS INTENT! I WILL HANG THE BASTARD BY HIS OWN STONES AND FEED HIM TO THE DOGS. COME, MEN OF CAMP. WE SHALL HAVE THIS SCOUNDREL BY THE 'MORROW. AYE, WE MUST NOT ALLOW THE CURR TO SPIRIT AWAY PART OF THE VERY REASON FOR THE SEASON! THAT SUCKER OF JACK FROST'S TEAT MAY TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT HE'LL NEVER TAKE OUR
FRRREEEEEDOM OR CHRRRRIIIISTMAS.