(no subject)
GOOD EVENING, MY ADORABLE HAPPY LITTLE CAMPERS. DON'T MIND THE CURRENT CONSTRUCTION IN THE SHOWERS THAT'LL BE KEEPING YOU UP TONIGHT, O PRECIOUS SPECIAL CHILDREN WE LOVE. WE'RE JUST REDECORATING SEVERAL OF OUR ALREADY-SATISFACTORY FACILITIES TO BETTER ACCOMMODATE YOUR SPECIAL NEEDS. WE DO IT BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU THIIIIIIS MUCH. ♥
SO OUR STOCKHOLDERS FINALLY STOPPED LISTENING AND ABOUT FUCKING TIME, I THINK I NEED TO GO SCRUB MY MOUTH OUT WITH LIQUOR. BUT HELL, IT'S TRUE, THE BATHROOMS ARE ACTUALLY GETTING IN AN OVERDUE SOAP DISPENSER SO YOU GOOBERS DON'T GIVE THE UNDEAD THE GODDAMN FLU AGAIN THIS YEAR. THE THING ITSELF IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKING COOL. YOU ALL BETTER ADORE ME FOR MY FINE INTERIOR DECORATING SENSE.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL DAMN THING. I WANT TO WRITE FUCKING SONNETS ABOUT IT.
ETA: I TOTALLY JUST DID.
DUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FUCKING AWESOME?
SHIT THAT I WISH EXISTED IN FIFTH GRADE:
SINGING FAKE BASS AND ROAD-KILLED OPOSSUMS
AND JOKES ABOUT SHIT HITTING THE FAN BLADE.
NOW WE HAVE A FUCKING DRIPPING NOSE, DUDES
THAT PREVENTS NASTY SHIT LIKE ZOMBIE FLUS.
IT'S NOSTALGIC, LIKE WHEN I WAS SO RUDE
I BELCHED AT LUNCH. DAD SCREAMED I WAS 'SCUSED.
AND WHO DOESN'T ADORE GROSS SHIT LIKE THAT?
SO COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS THIS SHIT'S GONE DOWN
WHILE YOU WERE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH TO "GET IT."
AT MY AGE IT'S GAUCHE TO JUST LIE AROUND
AND THINK UP FART JOKES THAT MAKE ME GIGGLE
AS I WATCH YOU SQUIRM IN UNCOMFY WIGGLES.
SO OUR STOCKHOLDERS FINALLY STOPPED LISTENING AND ABOUT FUCKING TIME, I THINK I NEED TO GO SCRUB MY MOUTH OUT WITH LIQUOR. BUT HELL, IT'S TRUE, THE BATHROOMS ARE ACTUALLY GETTING IN AN OVERDUE SOAP DISPENSER SO YOU GOOBERS DON'T GIVE THE UNDEAD THE GODDAMN FLU AGAIN THIS YEAR. THE THING ITSELF IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKING COOL. YOU ALL BETTER ADORE ME FOR MY FINE INTERIOR DECORATING SENSE.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL DAMN THING. I WANT TO WRITE FUCKING SONNETS ABOUT IT.
ETA: I TOTALLY JUST DID.
DUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FUCKING AWESOME?
SHIT THAT I WISH EXISTED IN FIFTH GRADE:
SINGING FAKE BASS AND ROAD-KILLED OPOSSUMS
AND JOKES ABOUT SHIT HITTING THE FAN BLADE.
NOW WE HAVE A FUCKING DRIPPING NOSE, DUDES
THAT PREVENTS NASTY SHIT LIKE ZOMBIE FLUS.
IT'S NOSTALGIC, LIKE WHEN I WAS SO RUDE
I BELCHED AT LUNCH. DAD SCREAMED I WAS 'SCUSED.
AND WHO DOESN'T ADORE GROSS SHIT LIKE THAT?
SO COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS THIS SHIT'S GONE DOWN
WHILE YOU WERE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH TO "GET IT."
AT MY AGE IT'S GAUCHE TO JUST LIE AROUND
AND THINK UP FART JOKES THAT MAKE ME GIGGLE
AS I WATCH YOU SQUIRM IN UNCOMFY WIGGLES.