ITP - Huh a box murder mystery

[psych_u_out]

Attention citizens, zombie-folk, zombierinas and those weird glowing...thingies.Thingies work. I'm going to call you Thingies from now on. You've got an hour to get out of the box. Between you and the cardboard flaps are kittens, bunnies, a few volunteers from the local forest (give them a hand folks, they were brave enough to join in on the potential dismembering!) and things that munch in the dark or whatever the phrase is. Sue me, I skipped out on The Twilight Zone  when I was a child. In my opinion, Chips was better.

You have one hour, a machete and a wang.  Your time starts now.  Use the force.

((you are in a box! try and find your way out, find monsters blah blah I'm not actually here dudes))