From Mr & Mrs Aiden Lewis

Jul 19, 2009 20:02



Your Favorite Color Says You're Smart


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[entry] meme

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isabelowens July 19 2009, 10:04:44 UTC
I was going to come and surprise you but my fucking car decided to be a bitch and not start.

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isabelowens July 19 2009, 11:51:10 UTC
Sometimes it takes someone else to point it out. I know it took Ali and James to point it out to me.

It's not as if Aiden would be coping alone. He's got a huge support network including us. Same as if we did have a kid... I wouldn't be left alone to raise it. And I can look into liason work to get me to London for a couple of months. Pat and Aiden wouldn't have to worry. Everyone's got their backs.

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cameronpreston July 19 2009, 11:56:27 UTC
You weren't an arse.

Really, though? If everyone around him is busy with their own family and jobs? Pat doesn't just get sick, he gets disabled and it's as scary as all fuck. What is a baby going to be doing while you're working in London? I'm just trying to be practical here, that's all.

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isabelowens July 19 2009, 12:06:13 UTC
I was an idiot, though.

Yes, really. I don't think they're ever so busy that they can't help out. Still, if it's definitely something that would be detrimental to Pat's health, then it's not worth it. Maybe he's just meant to be a fantastic uncle? I know, and I don't know what to say. But I have been thinking about it all day. Ali's had time off work, so I don't see why I wouldn't. I'm not so cold that I would keep working while they're a baby. I'd go back when they're older. But the liaison option is there.

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cameronpreston July 19 2009, 12:12:48 UTC
No you weren't.

I don't think it was a pain-free decision for him to come to. And then there is Aiden, who I think feels a lot like you do, only he doesn't want to risk his marriage to Pat by pushing the subject. He wants kids, though. He got pretty upset when Harri fell pregnant. She was apparently going to be a surrogate for him one day. I've only caught bits of the whole subject. I thought you were keen to get back to your job after being away? I'm just trying to get my head around all this. I'm sorry I'm being an arsehole.

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isabelowens July 19 2009, 12:19:59 UTC
You so sure?

I guess there's no right solution. Maybe they'll come up with something when they're given time and more comfortable in the marriage. First they need to recover from Aiden being a naughty workaholic. You're not an asshole. I know this is a shitty subject. I was, but at the end of the day family's more important, isn't it?

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cameronpreston July 19 2009, 12:28:16 UTC
I wouldn't say it if I wasn't.

Maybe time and recovery is good advice to be taking in general. I'm sure family is important when it's wanted and planned and there's some sort of niche, but I'm trying hard to see how it's going to work and I'm coming up with nothing right now.

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isabelowens July 19 2009, 20:58:51 UTC
Which is definitely one of the things I like about you.

I know, and I'm sorry. Just... thank you for indulging in my out of the blue conversation. I really didn't mean for it to come out so desperate.

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cameronpreston July 20 2009, 06:04:39 UTC
I just don't want you to think I'm some sort of... I don't know. Selfish bastard? Weird? Am I weird for not knowing if I want kids? Everyone seems to want to breed and have everything that goes with it, but it's never crossed my mind. At Christmas, we had wee RJ arrive, and Lachlan was just so ecstatic. Seriously, he kissed a janitor without even realising what he was doing. It was like his world completed the minute that baby boy arrived. And it's hilarious watching the lad grow up and become this little personality in front of your eyes, but not once did even a hint of a thought that I wanted to be in his shoes cross my mind. I'll change his nappy and I'll clean up his sick if I'm watching him, but it doesn't make me feel all parental. Maybe I'm just a freak. And then I feel guilty, because I know how much Aiden and Pat would want kids if they could have them, and I'm perfectly healthy, and can't tap into that urge.

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isabelowens July 20 2009, 10:53:28 UTC
It's not weird. It's honest, and I can't fault you for that. Not that I'm faulting you for any of it. If the urge isn't there, it's not there. Doesn't make me want to be involved with you any less. You're not a freak, and you shouldn't feel guilty. Kids isn't something that should be forced.

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cameronpreston July 20 2009, 11:16:26 UTC
So, how are all these people getting on who have them accidentally?

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isabelowens July 20 2009, 11:19:14 UTC
Ask Harri. She and James seem to be dealing with it pretty well. Neither of them wanted to get rid of the baby. Plus it gave James added reason to come back. Ali's scared, but she knows that she wants them. She's just stressed out about Jamie not having enough "alone time" before getting a sibling. Either you adapt, or you don't.

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cameronpreston July 20 2009, 11:26:50 UTC
Would you still be feeling like this if we weren't dating?

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isabelowens July 20 2009, 11:29:13 UTC
Feeling like I want a kid?

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cameronpreston July 20 2009, 11:33:38 UTC
Yeah.

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isabelowens July 20 2009, 11:34:44 UTC
Honestly? No.

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