On and On, We Keep Going

[nativestar]

Author: nativestar
Title: On and On, We Keep Going
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: None
Character/s: Merlin & Arthur
Summary: A universe is trapped between one heartbeat and the next.
Warnings: Angst
Word Count: 163
Prompt: Heartbeats
Author's Notes: Not my usual style, but I'm doing mini nanowrimo and I'm trying to work outside my comfort zone. I hope it works. (

Comments

[archaeologist_d]

How sad. I liked the comparison with the quiet forest and Merlin, even though it means he's dead.

[judin]

You've really tapped into the artistic potential of "the drabble". The short story format allows the writer to be much more careful with her words, to make each sentence meaningful to the whole. This drabble is excellent because it is stripped of all unnecessary information, and brings out a great amount of grief in very few lines, tapping into key characters' reaction to Merlin's potential passing. I adore the setting, where each heartbeat is so precious, and the time in between seems endless.

Loved the mirroring of the first and last lines.

What I didn't like, was the ambiguity of the ending, because AAARGH! I want him to live! If the sun rises with Arthur's hope, then Arthur's hope grows, right? Did I misunderstand? But then, why is Merlin still and quiet? Is he resting? Is he dead? Askjfglsdkjgst!

So yeah, great stuff. <3

[k_nightfox]

I think this is excellently written but like judin I was a lil frustrated/confused by the ending. Is he alive (as Arthur's hope rose) or is he dead (as he is "still and quiet")??

This is quite beautifully written though.