The Problem with Touch - part 2
Author: archaeologist_d
Title: The Problem with Touch - part 2
Rating: R for violence
Pairing/s: Gwaine/Percival, Arthur/Merlin (off-screen)
Character/s: Percival, Gwaine, Arthur, Merlin
Summary: Percival doesn’t like to be touched.
Word Count: 1944 (sorry, I just couldn't make it less that this)
Camelot_drabble Prompt: Bingo 2021: making out
Warnings: past memories of rape, typical Merlin violence
Author's Notes: unbetaed,
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
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His head seeming to swell to twice its size from whatever drunken debauchery he’d let himself in for the previous night, Percival turned over to find Gwaine asleep next to him, naked as the day he was born and sporting love bites on his neck and chest. He mumbled something, too, then shifted, snuggling closer to Percival.
He didn’t know what to do. Heart speeding up, he jerked away from Gwaine, but their legs were tangled together and Gwaine’s hand ended up on Percival’s hip somehow.
It didn’t help that while his head hurt, the rest of him seemed almost jubilant, as if he’d found pleasure in the last few hours, making him feel relaxed and loved.
He had to get away. He had to think. This wasn’t going to work, whatever it was.
But in the next instant, Gwaine woke up, looking at him with warmth in his eyes and a rather heated smile. “We don’t have training this morning. We could do some more… exploring.”
Percival had been around long enough to know what exploring meant. Pulling away, out of Gwaine’s reach, he said, “No, no, that’s… you rest. I’ll just be on my way. I have to… Arthur was complaining about my footwork the other day.”
“Percy.” Gwaine sat up, frowning at him. “Hey, I thought you and I were….”
“I can’t. Gwaine, I can’t.” Percival started looking for his clothes. Scattered all over Gwaine’s chambers, he scurried around, putting them on as quickly as he could. Some were ripped a little as if they had not waited to remove them properly. It must have been a hell of a night.
“Hey, slow down, we had a good time, didn’t we?” Gwaine sounded genuinely upset, not shrugging it off like usual.
“I… don’t know?” Percival hated how Gwaine’s face fell, how his eyes were hooded and that unhappy mouth. “It’s not you, Gwaine. It’s not. I don’t think we should do this again, whatever this was.”
Waving him off, Gwaine said, flat and miserable, “Sure. Whatever. It’s not you, Gwaine, it’s me, blah, blah, blah.”
Percival stopped, giving a little sigh. It was so hard to explain. “It is me, Gwaine, it is. Lancelot understood… that I…” Gwaine stood up then, reaching for him but Percy stepped back, away from Gwaine’s hands. “Don’t touch me.”
There must have been something in Percival’s voice because Gwaine stopped, frowning up at him. “Alright, alright, I’m keeping my hands to myself.”
Percival didn’t know how to explain it, but Gwaine deserved to know that it wasn’t him, truly. “Seriously, it’s not you. I… I don’t like to be touched by…,” Percival stopped, looked down at his feet to avoid the pity in Gwaine’s eyes. “Anyone.”
“Anyone?” Gwaine sounded more surprised than anything. He must have stepped closer because when Percival looked up again, Gwaine was close enough to touch. “But last night, you… you took me. A bit rough but I liked it. You’re quite big, you know, in every way.” Smiling, he jerked his chin toward Percy’s groin and waggled his eyebrows a little. “And your hands were fantastic. Seems like you liked touching me.” Gwaine grinned at that, seeming to enjoy the memory of something Percival had forgotten. “I certainly did.”
“Gwaine….” No matter what they had done last night, it couldn’t happen again.
“Whatever the reason, at least don’t lie to me,” Gwaine said, looking miserable again, although he tried his best to hide it.
Gwaine did deserve to know. Perhaps then he could move on to someone less damaged. Biting at his lip, staring down again at his feet, Percival murmured, “I’ve not let anyone… in since I was a boy. Watching my entire village be torn apart, watching my… mum… get, well, I’m big, yeah. I’ve always been strong and when that monster hurt her, I hurt him.” At that, he looked up. At least, in this, he would face Gwaine’s disgust and know it for truth.
But there wasn’t disgust in Gwaine’s eyes but acceptance. “Percy, we all do things we aren’t proud of. And I’ve killed, too.”
Percival shook his head. Gwaine was too soft-hearted. He had no idea of the monster Percival was inside. “But not like that. When I was done, he was nothing but meat and bones and blood everywhere. I’m afraid that if I let go, I’ll… do it again.”
Gwaine looked like he wanted to reach out to him, but one look at Percival’s face and he backed off. Instead, he said, “Percy, you are the gentlest man I know.” But when Percival shook his head, Gwaine glared at him. “Look, I could beat you in a fight if it comes down to it.” He leaned forward, grinning. “Hey, I cheat.”
Trying not to smile, Percival just stared down at him. Gwaine’s boasts were a legend around Camelot and him thinking that he could take on Percival and win was almost comical in a ridiculous kind of way.
Gwaine turned serious. “Let me help you. No one should be that alone. I know. I’ve tried it and it’s hell.” Reaching out, Gwaine said, “Here, take my hand, take it.” When Percy reluctantly took it, more to show Gwaine that he could than anything else, Gwaine tightened his grip. “It’s not so bad, right?”
“Other than it’s a bit sweaty,” Percy said.
Grinning, Gwaine waggled his eyebrows again. “That’s not sweat. I’ll have to do a bit of cleaning up later.” The implication that it was something much more personal was obvious.
Percival yanked his hand away, rubbing his palm clean on his tunic. “Gwaine!”
“You should see your face.” Gwaine laughed at that. “We’d already wiped each other down last night, you great git.” When Percival scowled at him, Gwaine reached out again, taking Percy’s hand and pressing it against Gwaine’s chest. Percy didn’t move as Gwaine said, “I trust you. I know that you won’t hurt me. Let me… let me in.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t,” Percival said but he didn’t pull away. Underneath his palm, he could feel Gwaine’s heart beating fast, and there was such warmth and hope in Gwaine’s eyes.
It would never work. Percival’s strength could tear Gwaine apart, but as Gwaine reached up and stroked Percy’s face, he leaned into it, closing his eyes and just enjoying the feel of skin against skin.
As Gwaine moved a little, he wasn’t surprised to feel warm lips against his. What did surprise him was how gentle Gwaine was, not pressing into him with sharp aggression, not battling to see who can win whatever this was but tentative, letting Percival make the choice to step back or not.
Percival didn’t want to step back. Instead, he dove in, opening up, reaching out with tongue and pressure, groaning a little as he explored Gwaine’s mouth, all liquid want.
It felt like flying. With their clasped hands still tight between them, with his other hand, Percy pulled Gwaine close, then held him there. Feeling the heat, feeling Gwaine’s excitement rising, Percy wanted to match it, but he was still afraid.
So instead of taking Gwaine back to bed and pounding into him, Percy stood there, matching heat for heat, kiss for kiss, all hot flesh and simmering desire.
Gwaine seemed to understand what Percy wanted somehow, and in a way, it surprised Percival. He would have thought that Gwaine’s experiences and lust for a night’s pleasure would have overridden everything else. But instead, Gwaine let him set the pace.
Seeming to last forever, finally, Percy let go, stepping back and looking into Gwaine’s flushed face. Gwaine was smiling a little, his lips swollen with what they’d done, and as he opened his eyes, he gave Percy a heated grin. “See, I told you I could beat you in a fight.”
“It’s… I’m… you didn’t cheat, though,” Percy said.
“That’s because cheating only wins the battle. I want to win the war.” Gwaine winked at him, flipping his hair a bit, then sobered.
“One-night stands are all well and good for seeking pleasure, but I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. And after last night, I want you even more. Every day and in every way.”
“It will never work.” Percy wanted more than anything for it to work between them, but he didn’t see how.
“Maybe, but it would be fun trying.” Gwaine gave him another waggle of his eyebrows. At this point, he could give Gaius a run for his money.
“Gwaine.” Percy couldn’t keep the exasperation out of his voice.
But instead, Gwaine seemed to light up at the almost surrender. Grinning, looking at Percival as if he were a feast and Gwaine a starving man, he said, “Yes, that’s my name and I want to hear you screaming it out when I take you to bed and show you what true pleasure is.”
With that, Percival gave a little grunt of worry.
Reaching up, brushing his hand across Percy’s cheek, then letting it rest against his neck, Gwaine said, “But hey, I’d never force you. It has to be your decision. We could take it one day at a time, okay?”
Percy didn’t brush off the touch. It felt wonderful, it felt right, it felt like maybe it would work after all. “You sure you’re not cheating?”
Snickering, Gwaine let go, then waved his hands about as if to say that he was but pretending to be totally innocent.
“Well, if cheating includes my hair which is amazing and my charm of which I‘ve an overabundance, then yes.” Percival rolled his eyes at that. Gwaine grinned again, then sobered, “We all have our demons, Percival. But I think we can beat them back. Together.”
At that, Percival felt something give, somewhere deep inside, a dark despair that slowly began to dissipate. He could only hope. “One day at a time, okay?”
Gwaine let out a whoop of joy, then twirled around, his hair flying, the grin on his face as wide as Percy had ever seen it. “Yes, one day at a time. And I’ll have you know that it’s a new day and Arthur won’t be looking for us for some time and well, I’m still up for exploring.”
Percival was up for a bit of exploring, too. But he said, “He might be angry if we miss training.”
“Bah, Princess Pratface has his hands full with Merlin, if you know what I mean. I think we’ll have to eat at some point, Cook has made apple pies for later, but I’d rather have an empty prick than a full stomach right now.” Gwaine tossed his hair, then gave Percy a wink.
Horrified, embarrassed, intrigued, Percy said, “Hell, Gwaine, you can’t talk like that. And Arthur is… with Merlin?”
“Hell, yeah, for some time now. Don’t you notice the way they look at each other?” With that, Gwaine reached over, grabbing Percy’s hand and tugging him toward the bed. “But I don’t want to talk about them. I’d rather show you just how often I can make you moan my name.”
“Gwaine….” Percy groaned, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous Gwaine was.
“See, you’ve already started.” Gwaine gave him another tug, Percy stumbling after him. “Shall I count that as one?”
“You are ridiculous.” Percy shook his head, then grinned.
“But you love me anyway.” Gwaine said, looking hopeful and expectant and a little worried.
Percival nodded.
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And if later, Arthur came knocking at Gwaine’s door demanding to know why they weren’t at training, then yelling at Merlin to something or other, well, Gwaine and Percy were too busy to care.
Title: The Problem with Touch - part 2
Rating: R for violence
Pairing/s: Gwaine/Percival, Arthur/Merlin (off-screen)
Character/s: Percival, Gwaine, Arthur, Merlin
Summary: Percival doesn’t like to be touched.
Word Count: 1944 (sorry, I just couldn't make it less that this)
Camelot_drabble Prompt: Bingo 2021: making out
Warnings: past memories of rape, typical Merlin violence
Author's Notes: unbetaed,
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
------------------------
His head seeming to swell to twice its size from whatever drunken debauchery he’d let himself in for the previous night, Percival turned over to find Gwaine asleep next to him, naked as the day he was born and sporting love bites on his neck and chest. He mumbled something, too, then shifted, snuggling closer to Percival.
He didn’t know what to do. Heart speeding up, he jerked away from Gwaine, but their legs were tangled together and Gwaine’s hand ended up on Percival’s hip somehow.
It didn’t help that while his head hurt, the rest of him seemed almost jubilant, as if he’d found pleasure in the last few hours, making him feel relaxed and loved.
He had to get away. He had to think. This wasn’t going to work, whatever it was.
But in the next instant, Gwaine woke up, looking at him with warmth in his eyes and a rather heated smile. “We don’t have training this morning. We could do some more… exploring.”
Percival had been around long enough to know what exploring meant. Pulling away, out of Gwaine’s reach, he said, “No, no, that’s… you rest. I’ll just be on my way. I have to… Arthur was complaining about my footwork the other day.”
“Percy.” Gwaine sat up, frowning at him. “Hey, I thought you and I were….”
“I can’t. Gwaine, I can’t.” Percival started looking for his clothes. Scattered all over Gwaine’s chambers, he scurried around, putting them on as quickly as he could. Some were ripped a little as if they had not waited to remove them properly. It must have been a hell of a night.
“Hey, slow down, we had a good time, didn’t we?” Gwaine sounded genuinely upset, not shrugging it off like usual.
“I… don’t know?” Percival hated how Gwaine’s face fell, how his eyes were hooded and that unhappy mouth. “It’s not you, Gwaine. It’s not. I don’t think we should do this again, whatever this was.”
Waving him off, Gwaine said, flat and miserable, “Sure. Whatever. It’s not you, Gwaine, it’s me, blah, blah, blah.”
Percival stopped, giving a little sigh. It was so hard to explain. “It is me, Gwaine, it is. Lancelot understood… that I…” Gwaine stood up then, reaching for him but Percy stepped back, away from Gwaine’s hands. “Don’t touch me.”
There must have been something in Percival’s voice because Gwaine stopped, frowning up at him. “Alright, alright, I’m keeping my hands to myself.”
Percival didn’t know how to explain it, but Gwaine deserved to know that it wasn’t him, truly. “Seriously, it’s not you. I… I don’t like to be touched by…,” Percival stopped, looked down at his feet to avoid the pity in Gwaine’s eyes. “Anyone.”
“Anyone?” Gwaine sounded more surprised than anything. He must have stepped closer because when Percival looked up again, Gwaine was close enough to touch. “But last night, you… you took me. A bit rough but I liked it. You’re quite big, you know, in every way.” Smiling, he jerked his chin toward Percy’s groin and waggled his eyebrows a little. “And your hands were fantastic. Seems like you liked touching me.” Gwaine grinned at that, seeming to enjoy the memory of something Percival had forgotten. “I certainly did.”
“Gwaine….” No matter what they had done last night, it couldn’t happen again.
“Whatever the reason, at least don’t lie to me,” Gwaine said, looking miserable again, although he tried his best to hide it.
Gwaine did deserve to know. Perhaps then he could move on to someone less damaged. Biting at his lip, staring down again at his feet, Percival murmured, “I’ve not let anyone… in since I was a boy. Watching my entire village be torn apart, watching my… mum… get, well, I’m big, yeah. I’ve always been strong and when that monster hurt her, I hurt him.” At that, he looked up. At least, in this, he would face Gwaine’s disgust and know it for truth.
But there wasn’t disgust in Gwaine’s eyes but acceptance. “Percy, we all do things we aren’t proud of. And I’ve killed, too.”
Percival shook his head. Gwaine was too soft-hearted. He had no idea of the monster Percival was inside. “But not like that. When I was done, he was nothing but meat and bones and blood everywhere. I’m afraid that if I let go, I’ll… do it again.”
Gwaine looked like he wanted to reach out to him, but one look at Percival’s face and he backed off. Instead, he said, “Percy, you are the gentlest man I know.” But when Percival shook his head, Gwaine glared at him. “Look, I could beat you in a fight if it comes down to it.” He leaned forward, grinning. “Hey, I cheat.”
Trying not to smile, Percival just stared down at him. Gwaine’s boasts were a legend around Camelot and him thinking that he could take on Percival and win was almost comical in a ridiculous kind of way.
Gwaine turned serious. “Let me help you. No one should be that alone. I know. I’ve tried it and it’s hell.” Reaching out, Gwaine said, “Here, take my hand, take it.” When Percy reluctantly took it, more to show Gwaine that he could than anything else, Gwaine tightened his grip. “It’s not so bad, right?”
“Other than it’s a bit sweaty,” Percy said.
Grinning, Gwaine waggled his eyebrows again. “That’s not sweat. I’ll have to do a bit of cleaning up later.” The implication that it was something much more personal was obvious.
Percival yanked his hand away, rubbing his palm clean on his tunic. “Gwaine!”
“You should see your face.” Gwaine laughed at that. “We’d already wiped each other down last night, you great git.” When Percival scowled at him, Gwaine reached out again, taking Percy’s hand and pressing it against Gwaine’s chest. Percy didn’t move as Gwaine said, “I trust you. I know that you won’t hurt me. Let me… let me in.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t,” Percival said but he didn’t pull away. Underneath his palm, he could feel Gwaine’s heart beating fast, and there was such warmth and hope in Gwaine’s eyes.
It would never work. Percival’s strength could tear Gwaine apart, but as Gwaine reached up and stroked Percy’s face, he leaned into it, closing his eyes and just enjoying the feel of skin against skin.
As Gwaine moved a little, he wasn’t surprised to feel warm lips against his. What did surprise him was how gentle Gwaine was, not pressing into him with sharp aggression, not battling to see who can win whatever this was but tentative, letting Percival make the choice to step back or not.
Percival didn’t want to step back. Instead, he dove in, opening up, reaching out with tongue and pressure, groaning a little as he explored Gwaine’s mouth, all liquid want.
It felt like flying. With their clasped hands still tight between them, with his other hand, Percy pulled Gwaine close, then held him there. Feeling the heat, feeling Gwaine’s excitement rising, Percy wanted to match it, but he was still afraid.
So instead of taking Gwaine back to bed and pounding into him, Percy stood there, matching heat for heat, kiss for kiss, all hot flesh and simmering desire.
Gwaine seemed to understand what Percy wanted somehow, and in a way, it surprised Percival. He would have thought that Gwaine’s experiences and lust for a night’s pleasure would have overridden everything else. But instead, Gwaine let him set the pace.
Seeming to last forever, finally, Percy let go, stepping back and looking into Gwaine’s flushed face. Gwaine was smiling a little, his lips swollen with what they’d done, and as he opened his eyes, he gave Percy a heated grin. “See, I told you I could beat you in a fight.”
“It’s… I’m… you didn’t cheat, though,” Percy said.
“That’s because cheating only wins the battle. I want to win the war.” Gwaine winked at him, flipping his hair a bit, then sobered.
“One-night stands are all well and good for seeking pleasure, but I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. And after last night, I want you even more. Every day and in every way.”
“It will never work.” Percy wanted more than anything for it to work between them, but he didn’t see how.
“Maybe, but it would be fun trying.” Gwaine gave him another waggle of his eyebrows. At this point, he could give Gaius a run for his money.
“Gwaine.” Percy couldn’t keep the exasperation out of his voice.
But instead, Gwaine seemed to light up at the almost surrender. Grinning, looking at Percival as if he were a feast and Gwaine a starving man, he said, “Yes, that’s my name and I want to hear you screaming it out when I take you to bed and show you what true pleasure is.”
With that, Percival gave a little grunt of worry.
Reaching up, brushing his hand across Percy’s cheek, then letting it rest against his neck, Gwaine said, “But hey, I’d never force you. It has to be your decision. We could take it one day at a time, okay?”
Percy didn’t brush off the touch. It felt wonderful, it felt right, it felt like maybe it would work after all. “You sure you’re not cheating?”
Snickering, Gwaine let go, then waved his hands about as if to say that he was but pretending to be totally innocent.
“Well, if cheating includes my hair which is amazing and my charm of which I‘ve an overabundance, then yes.” Percival rolled his eyes at that. Gwaine grinned again, then sobered, “We all have our demons, Percival. But I think we can beat them back. Together.”
At that, Percival felt something give, somewhere deep inside, a dark despair that slowly began to dissipate. He could only hope. “One day at a time, okay?”
Gwaine let out a whoop of joy, then twirled around, his hair flying, the grin on his face as wide as Percy had ever seen it. “Yes, one day at a time. And I’ll have you know that it’s a new day and Arthur won’t be looking for us for some time and well, I’m still up for exploring.”
Percival was up for a bit of exploring, too. But he said, “He might be angry if we miss training.”
“Bah, Princess Pratface has his hands full with Merlin, if you know what I mean. I think we’ll have to eat at some point, Cook has made apple pies for later, but I’d rather have an empty prick than a full stomach right now.” Gwaine tossed his hair, then gave Percy a wink.
Horrified, embarrassed, intrigued, Percy said, “Hell, Gwaine, you can’t talk like that. And Arthur is… with Merlin?”
“Hell, yeah, for some time now. Don’t you notice the way they look at each other?” With that, Gwaine reached over, grabbing Percy’s hand and tugging him toward the bed. “But I don’t want to talk about them. I’d rather show you just how often I can make you moan my name.”
“Gwaine….” Percy groaned, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous Gwaine was.
“See, you’ve already started.” Gwaine gave him another tug, Percy stumbling after him. “Shall I count that as one?”
“You are ridiculous.” Percy shook his head, then grinned.
“But you love me anyway.” Gwaine said, looking hopeful and expectant and a little worried.
Percival nodded.
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And if later, Arthur came knocking at Gwaine’s door demanding to know why they weren’t at training, then yelling at Merlin to something or other, well, Gwaine and Percy were too busy to care.