Comments | calysto_1395: Like stars in Hollywood Part 9

calysto_1395

Like stars in Hollywood Part 9

Mar 09, 2011 15:44

Pairing/Characters: Arthur/Eames, Eames, Phillipa, OC ( Read more... )

Comments 6

I really like it! sister_alaina March 9 2011, 15:24:17 UTC

I really like this verse you have set up. I love hearing about Arthur from Eames. I also love that Eames is the last one standing.

One little note, it could handle being reread a couple of times. The pronouns are mixed up in a couple of places.

It is a friend of 'ours' not 'us'. You also change the spelling of John/Jon. You would benefit from a second pair of eyes.

You have a great story here, the language is just tangling you up a bit.
Cheers
Ali J

Re: I really like it! calysto_1395 March 9 2011, 18:29:46 UTC

I'm glad you like it :3
sadly I don't have a beta and I never see all my mistakes >-<
I'm trying to find one though

clair3 March 9 2011, 15:31:27 UTC

keep it up!

calysto_1395 March 9 2011, 18:30:04 UTC

I will :D
I'm just a bit slow

nekotogs April 9 2011, 20:58:54 UTC

I really enjoyed this post. You write about this topic very well. There are many cherished moments in life, why not wear a beautiful dress! When looking back on special memories of your child wearing a gorgeous dress, it will make a fond memory.

calysto_1395 April 11 2011, 16:24:23 UTC

thank you :3
I'm glad you liked it