Nor Let Me Die Before I Have Begun To Live #1

[callumjames]

Title: Nor Let Me Die Before I Have Begun To Live
Author: Callum James
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: H/R
Word Count: c. 30,000
Summary: After the Final Battle, Harry Potter is missing presumed 'killed in action'. Only Ron refuses to give up hope that Harry might still be alive and when, six months later, he finally finds The Boy Who Lived, what he finds

Comments

[shocolate]

"But you are!" said Ron, now letting the tears flow freely. "You are worth it... to me..."

*big, huge sigh*

he was relaxed in a way which was deep and complete. The months of constant strain and tension had finally slipped off his shoulders and he felt as though his entire body had been unbound from some tight coil.

Oooh - I can feel this happening!

A small mewing sound came from deep in Harry’s throat. The kind of noise a cat makes, wanting the stroking to continue. Not wanting Harry to wake up, Ron lowered his hand onto Harry’s hip again and waited a moment until Harry was still.

*icon*

Ron wanted to scream, I was there, I was there, I was ripping the door apart with my bare hands to get to you.

oh - I ache!!

"I’m a squib. I think I always was. I think all the magic I ever had was His. That’s what the connection was. That’s what he gave me when he killed my mum and dad. Dumbledore always said He ‘made’ me into His enemy by choosing me. I think he ‘made’ me a wizard. And now He’s gone... well, I’m not part of that world

[callumjames]

Hi, thanks for these and your other detailed comments. It's really nice to know that someone reads this with enough attention to detail to pick out sentences, words and phrases which have a resonance for them. I'm slightly overwhelmed by the response as I normally only write for print publication and this is (basically) my first foray into slash. I'm also new to LJ and if I had this many responses to a post on my established blog on 'blogger' it would be the equivalent of the phone ringing of the hook!

Thank you also for pointing others in this direction.

[shocolate]

I get a little bit excited when there is a new substantial Harry/Ron fic.

This was much darker and angstier than I could possibly write and I am thrilled with it!

Welcome aboard!

[winstonmom]

Here via Shocolate's rec.

This is so heartbreaking, poor Harry and poor Ron. I honestly love the way you sent the mood in regards of Ron's only goal in life. He has been looking for Harry for so long that I felt in my heart the desperation and obsession of finding him.
This is a wonderful story, I love the all the elements in it, I was particulary taken by your Harry-squib/Voldemort theory. This is the first time I think in all my reading HP fic that I encounter such a thing. GOod One!
Thanks for sharing.

[callumjames]

I'm glad you liked the squib theory. I'm really bad at plot and much prefer the visuals and the descriptive parts of writing so things like that tend to result from moments of, 'oh damn, I've written myself into a hole here, how can I get out of it?'

Anyway, I'm so glad I was able to break your heart, hopefully for only half-an-hour or so.

[mrsquizzical]

rec'd by both shocolate and thevina.

so, obviously i need to read this!

For a moment, all the anger and yearning of six months closed his throat. "Why the hell did you leave without without me!" There was silence for a minute, then he said more quietly, "Why did you leave me behind?"

ok. i'm totally strung out now.

this is a heart rending piece.

on to part 2. (it's up already i hope!)

[kerryblaze]

I was holding it together until "I was there, I was there, I was ripping the door apart with my bare hands to get to you.

And then I lost it.

You have a beautiful, intelligent writing style. I seriously envy it.

[callumjames]

hi, thanks so much for dropping by. That line you quote is actually my favourite in the whole story I think. I do a lot of weeping watching films and reading books but it tends to be this kind of thing which sets me off: moments of real, staggering loyalty, devotion and self-sacrifice... its how I would like to think of myself I guess (although I'm a long way from it). I like to think that there are people in this world that I would tear down doors for

[wolfiekins]

I'm quite literally stunned at the brilliance that you've shared...your turn of phrase, your imagery...absolutely amazing.

So many lines I'd like to quote back, so many vivid images that I'd like to single out and praise...

This is just so wonderfully rich, deep, and decadent...I love how you carefully choose each word to conjure specific images...and the story...gods, it's perfect!

I can feel Ron's anxiety...and the depth of Harry's despair is such that I can almost hear it, if that makes any sense.

Brilliant, gorgeous writing, mate. I believe you've accumulated your very first fanboy...and there's still more to go!

*grins*

Bravo!