CM fic - Gestures - Emily/JJ
Title: Gestures
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ (yep, you read that right!)
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: 4x14 “Cold Comfort”.
A/N: I loved the start of “Cold Comfort” the other night and the whole part with the horoscope. Emily was visibly uncomfortable and not too happy over JJ’s new ring. I had to play with that.
A/N2: Sofia insisted I post this, so if it sucks, blame her!!!
"A romantic opportunity may experience a slight hitch thanks to the pesky lunar influence which could have you dipping into a rather chilly mood. If being demonstrative and warm is difficult then neutralize this temporary cold front with a simple but affectionate gesture."
Emily swirled the red wine in her glass, propped her feet on her coffee table, and stared blankly out her windows overlooking D.C. She hated horoscopes, and she hated that tonight was Valentine’s even more. Looking into the last remnants of the red liquid, the bottle drained and forgotten in the kitchen, she cringed at the image in her head. It was JJ in her head. JJ in a red, satin negligee, her hips swaying seductively.
It had never happened, but it was so real she could practically feel the soft material slide under her fingertips and smell the shampoo in JJ’s hair.
She shook her head and stood a bit too quickly. She placed a hand on the arm of the couch to steady herself.
“Okay, Prentiss. Enough is enough. She’s not yours, never was. You need to get over this.” Emily paced in front of the window, draining the last bit from her glass, and set it resolutely on the bar. Eventually, she sat down on the bar chair, not knowing what to do with herself. Another drink of anything and she’d pass out on the floor. She braced her head in her hands.
“This is pathetic. It’s Valentine’s. I live in Dfreakin’C. Certainly, I can find something or someone to do tonight.” Then a thought came to her and she snapped her fingers. “I know, I can get mom’s charter plane and go somewhere. There’s that cute little redhead reporter in San Fran or maybe that sexy blonde CSI agent in Vegas.” She held her head at the memories of her last visit to Vegas. “Or maybe not.”
Honestly, even though it was early enough, she didn’t feel like the trouble of hopping a plane to anywhere, and there was no guarantee that the object of her last minute affection would be available.
A quick roll in the hay with a beautiful woman wasn’t going to help, even if it would be fun. These damn unrequited feelings for JJ were starting to get in the way. She had ignored them and pushed them away, but every time some new piece was added to the relationship puzzle between JJ and Will, Emily felt herself falling deeper and deeper into despair.
“A ring? A goddamn, fuckin’ ring.” She tossed the glass over into the bar sink, watching with pleasure as the shards of fine glass went everywhere.
Now, she was just getting bitchy with not only JJ but everyone else too. Not that JJ had even noticed. She was so wrapped up in maternal and familial bliss that she barely looked in Emily’s direction her first day back. She sighed. Giving in to one last bout with her demons, she reached for the bottle of Jack and a shot glass behind the bar. Come Monday, she’d have gotten JJ out of her system and she’d be back to old Emily like nothing was wrong.
Two hours later, Emily jerked awake and looked around at her dark apartment. The bottle of whiskey was almost half empty and her mouth felt, and tasted, like a rat had died there. Emily recognized the noise that had woke her up in the first place - a steady and persistent knocking at her front door.
She walked unsteadily to the door and looked out the peephole. JJ stood in the hall, shuffling uncomfortably from foot to foot.
“Fuck!” Emily muttered, and then quickly glanced in the hall mirror and brushed her fingers through her hair, in a vain attempt to look presentable, before opening the door.
“JJ!” Her voice cracked from lack of use and too much alcohol. “What are you doing here? It’s like late and it’s…Valentine’s Day.”
Emily’s hopeful mind wanted to desperately fill in a blank here, but she refused to let it wander down that path of wondering why JJ was at her doorstep on this day of all days.
“Would you believe me if I said I was in the neighborhood?”
“No.” Emily, a bit dumbfounded and groggy, still hadn’t moved aside to let JJ into the apartment.
JJ was a bit taken aback by Emily’s harsh tone, and for a second was reconsidering the wisdom of her decision, “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
Emily gave herself a mental kick and let down the emotional guard she had automatically put up when she opened the door, “No, please, I’m sorry. Come in.”
The press liaison immediately let out the breath she had been holding and smiled. She slipped past the door and brought her hands from around her back. In one hand was a very expensive red wine and in the other a bouquet of flowers.
She shrugged as she handed them over to a surprised Emily, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Um, thanks.” JJ slipped her jacket off and draped it over the back of the couch. “But why?”
JJ gave her a questioning look, “I mean, not to be rude or anything, JJ. I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t understand.”
“Can’t a friend just do something nice for another friend?”
Emily placed the wine and flowers on the bar, “Yeah, I guess.”
JJ finally threw up her hands in obvious exasperation, “That’s it, Emily. We’re talking about whatever is going on with you. You’ve been distant and snarky. You haven’t been you, and it worries me.”
“This is really not a good time to talk about this.” The fuzziness in Emily’s head hadn’t quite cleared and she doubted her ability to self-censor was at its peak.
JJ slipped around the end of the sofa and sat at one end, casually propping her arm along the back. “I’m not leaving until we talk.”
“Well, since you plan on being here a while, I’m going to make a run to the bathroom. I’d say make yourself at home, but you already have.” Emily turned down the hall and flipped on the bathroom light.
“Shit, Prentiss. This is not good.” Emily tried to pull herself together by splashing cold water on her face and brushing her teeth. Anything to bring her senses back so the alcohol wouldn’t have her doing or saying something completely out of line.
A few minutes later, Emily re-entered her living room to see JJ at the bar, spying the hastily disgarded glass.
“Having a bad night?”
“It slipped out of my hand. I’m going to make some coffee. You want some?”
JJ followed Emily to the kitchen, “Yeah, sure.”
Emily quietly worked willing JJ to start the conversation she was intent on them having. Inevitably, JJ gave in after watching Emily pass her for a third time to put yet another spoon away in a drawer. Reaching up, she grabbed Emily by the arm, stopping her in mid-step.
“Emily?” The brunette looked down at her with sad and guarded eyes. “I need to tell you something, and I just need for you to listen. You don’t have to say anything. Just listen, okay?”
Emily leaned a hip against the counter, “Okay.” She steeled herself for what she feared was coming. She couldn’t keep her emotions in check around JJ and now, JJ had figured it out. She was ready for the “I’m sorry, but…” speech.
Instead, JJ ran her hand down Emily’s forearm, allowing her fingers to lightly graze the edge of Emily’s hand, before pulling away. “I haven’t been myself either, and while I can’t assume what’s going on with you, I know what’s wrong with me.”
JJ moved to the other side of the kitchen, before making eye contact again with Emily, “I’ve missed you, Em. You had been a part of my life, day in and day out, for over a year, then suddenly I go days on end without even a call from you.”
Emily got a look on her face that told JJ she was about to jump in to defend herself, and JJ stopped her, “I missed you. And I didn’t realize how much until you weren’t there. I took you for granted, assumed nothing would change, and then it did. There was Will and then the baby. I handled it all wrong, but I didn’t see that until you weren’t there.”
Emily shook her head. She wanted to read more into what JJ was saying, but she couldn’t afford to. “JJ,…”
“No, Emily. Let me finish.” JJ stepped forward. “There’s nothing with Will. There hasn’t been for a long time.”
Emily refused to believe what she was hearing, “But the baby…the ring.”
“Don’t get me wrong. Henry is wonderful. I don’t regret having him at all, but I’ve regretting pretty much everything that happened since he was conceived.”
Emily fought the tears that were welling up in her eyes, “And the ring?”
JJ reached for Emily’s hand, cradling it in her own, “That’s about our commitment to Henry, not each other. That’s why they’re not diamonds and on our right hands. Will and I have spent a long time talking this over, and we’re not meant for each other. We know this. I needed you to know it too.”
Emily bit her lip as tears fell, “Why?”
“Because I’m hoping that the reason you’re off is because of some stupid mistakes I’ve made, and that if I somehow say the right thing tonight to you that it’ll fix all that’s wrong.” JJ chuckled to herself. “Mainly I just hope that I’m not completely off base and made a terrible fool out of myself.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“I think so.” JJ shrugged.
Emily reached for JJ’s left hand, pointing to the ring finger, “So, this finger will be vacant of a ring in the immediate future?”
JJ smiled and nodded. Emily slid a hand under JJ’s chin and pulled her a little closer, barely touching their lips together, savoring the moment.
“So, what did your horoscope say?”
JJ shrugged, “Hmmmm, something about a tall, dark, moody and mysterious person entering my life. I have no idea what that could mean.”
Emily shrugged as well, “Yeah, that is kind of weird. Huh, guess you’ll know when it happens.”
“Yeah, I guess.”