Nov 10, 2008 20:11
Title: Somebody for Me
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Pairing: Callica
Rating: PG
Summary: I couldn’t stand how the “Rise Up” episode left Callica so I have been compelled as most fans to fix the mess ABC created. This is the way I wish it would go, or one version of it.
A/N: This is my first foray into Callica, so I hope I don’t screw anything up too much. I’ll be the first to admit that I know nothing of medical lingo so apologies if I got something wrong. Inspired by continuously listening to Nickleback’s “Gotta Be Somebody.” Hence the title of this fic. FYI, I’m working on a vid to that song with some Callica in there. Hopefully, I’ll be done with it soon.
Disclaimer: (everyone seems to be using a disclaimer like this so guess I better do that too) All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Callie watched Erica fade away into the darkness of the parking lot, still stung by the words from her girlfriend’s mouth. Any minute she expected the blonde to come back around the corner, but she never did.
It hit her out of the blue that this was the exact spot only a few months ago that she finished what she started with Erica in the elevator. This was where they shared their first real kiss. Her heart ached at the memory as she looked out into the inky darkness.
Erica wasn’t coming back tonight, and it was too late to fix the stupid mistake she had just made.
Numbly, Callie pulled herself off the bench she had slumped onto and headed to her car. Tonight would be a tequila night. Red wine was for love, and tonight she wasn’t feeling it.
*******
Erica moved with a quickening pace to her car, keeping her head down so no one would see her face, wet with tears, anger, and regret.
“I don’t know you.” The words had left her mouth before she realized what she was saying. In Callie’s arms she had seen the leaves in all of their varying colors and shapes. She had awed at the miracle of it all, only to have it stripped away by the same person she’d opened her heart to.
“The Chief’s right.” Now, she felt dirty, buried under the pile of leaves that surrounded her, weighed down by the dank rot of too much, too soon.
She sipped the whiskey in her glass, letting the tears fall a new, as she stared into the fire.
The way she felt now, cold and empty, was the exact reason why she didn’t let herself care or love or feel too much. She’d never given her heart to anyone because she knew it was the one fatal heart condition she couldn’t fix.
With resolve, Erica pulled her laptop into her lap and began the email. This was the only way to stop the hurt, end the burning ache.
*******
Interns and residents yelled back and forth at each other as the seemingly endless supply of blood continued to pour from the patient’s abdomen. Callie tried to stand firm as she slipped in the blood puddling at her feet.
“Jesus Christ! I can’t stop it!” Callie struggled to clamp off the artery Bailey needed to suture. Webber came through the doors with Izzie Stevens in tow.
“What’s going on here?”
“He’s bleeding out, sir. I can’t stop it. Every time we clamp and suture one spot, another starts bleeding out. His entire cardio system is riddled with holes.”
Stevens, staring in doe-eyed shock at the amount of blood around her, states the obvious, “Should I get Dr. Hahn?”
“Don’t bother,” Webber stated matter-of-factly as he goes to work on a ruptured vessel, while everyone else looks up curiously. Noticing everyone has ceased to work but him, he looks up, “What? She resigned. I got the notice this morning.”
“What?” Callie felt herself wobble and the edges of her vision grew dark.
“Dr. Torres?” Izzie steps up to Callie, placing a hand on her shoulder. Callie’s vision suddenly turns and hones in on Izzie Stevens. The fire crackling in her dark eyes only matched by the tension in her muscles.
She slaps Izzie’s hand away, speaking barely above a strangled whisper, her teeth gritted in anger, “You bitch! This is because of you. You and your precious Denny.”
Izzie reached for Callie. After all she’d done to hurt Callie, why she thought she could fix anything with her with words was beyond her, but she kept trying.
“Don’t Izzie. If you know what’s good for you, you won’t touch me.”
Webber and Bailey watch the exchange as they continue to work, “Is there a problem here?”
Callie turns to Webber, “There was, but not anymore.” She elbows Izzie out of her way, a little harder than necessary, and removes her gloves heading towards the door.
“Torres, where are you going?”
“I quit, Richard. Erica was right. There’s right and there’s wrong, and this,” she motioned to the room, “and me helping to make it wrong, and THEN turning my back on the person I love, that’s just worst than wrong. That’s inexcusable.”
Callie stripped her surgical scrubs as she barreled through the doors, not bothering to wash up. That would only waste time.
******
Callie banged on the door, waiting only a few seconds before banging again. She saw Erica’s car in the driveway and knew she was home. When she raised her hand to start pounding on the door for the third time, the door came flying open, “What?!”
A disheveled and red-eyed Erica fell back as she almost came on the receiving end of Callie’s fist, “Whoa, Rocky! Watch out!”
“Sorry.”
“I would hope so for almost decking me.” There was no humor in Erica’s comment. The puffy, red eyes and piled up boxes in the foyer telling of her restless night.
“Actually, I’m sorry for everything, Erica. I’m sorry for Mark, and I’m sorry for going flaky on you. Mostly I’m sorry for not having your back in all this. It was stupid. All of it was stupid. And…I’m sorry.”
“Okay.”
Callie threw up her arms and entered the house when Erica stepped back to sit on the staircase, “Oh for Christ’s sake, Erica! Would you say something besides, ‘okay’?”
Erica stood again, “Like what, Callie? What do you want me to say? That I completely get why you’d back the woman that slept with your husband, but not the woman you just slept with? Well, I don’t. Explain it to me.”
“I can’t.” Erica headed to the kitchen. She needed coffee to be able to deal with this conversation. Callie followed at a safe distance.
Erica still had her back to Callie, “Try. Please. Make an effort.”
“I am. I’m here, Erica.”
“Are you?” Erica turned back to Callie. “Are you really here? All of you?”
Callie looked down, running her finger along a crack in the counter, “Callie, if you want me, if you want this,” she motioned between the two of them, as she stepped closer to Callie, “like you said you did, then you have to be in this completely with me. This is more than just sex. I’m not Sloan, not even a female version of Sloan, and neither are you. I don’t turn off my feelings, and what you do to me, when you get out of bed. Don’t you see that? I know you see everything, not just the leaves, but do you see that?”
Erica was standing in front of her, and Callie couldn’t bear to look her in her eyes. She heard Erica swallow and take a deep breath, “If you’re not in this, then I can’t do this with you. I’ve given you my heart, and with a few words last night, you crushed it in your hands. If you’re not going to protect it, you need to give it back.”
Callie finally looked up, tears pouring down her face, “You hurt me too, you know. George was the only other person I had given my heart too, and he broke it. With Mark I had separated my body from my heart, but I couldn’t do that with you. You owned every part of me, from the moment I met you. It took me too long to figure that out, and I put you through a lot because I was scared of giving everything to you. For that, I’m sorry, but believe me when I say, I’m yours. All of me. There’s no label for that.”
They looked at each other, weighing the words and the moment. Erica reached over first, running her fingers over the back of Callie’s hand resting on the cool tiles. Callie raised her hand to link their fingers together. Endless seconds seemed to pass as they silently took in each sensation and emotion passed between them.
Erica leaned in first, letting her lips brush gently against Callie’s. Callie smiled at the teasing motion, before she leaned back, pressing a finger to Erica’s lips, “Oh no you don’t. I need to say this,” Callie ran a finger along Erica’s bottom lip, mesmerized at its softness, “I love you, Erica Hahn. Wherever you go, I go too.”
Callie ran her hands through Erica’s tousled blonde hair and pulled her in for a kiss to seal her promise.
callica,
fiction,
grey's anatomy