fic: Stand Up
Title: Stand Up
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, Colin Morgan, Bradley James or indeed anything of value. This is for entertainment purposes with no wish to offend
-
"How'd it go?" says Bradley, as soon as Colin has sat down.
Colin takes a deep breath, lets it out again and takes a very long swallow of his beer.
"That bad?"
"Not so bad. I'm exaggerating. Not as bad as visiting my grandmother," says Colin. "Or violent strangulation."
Bradley winces, watches the speed at which Colin's drinking his pint and gets up to buy another round. He sets the glasses down a little enthusiastically and, while he's mopping up the spillage, Colin says,
"I don't get it, really."
"Hmm?"
"There was nothing wrong with her!"
"I should hope not. I set you up with her," says Bradley. "It'd be a terrible reflection on my taste if I picked out someone really awful."
Colin shakes his head and drops it into his hands. "I don't get it."
"Look, Catherine's pretty, intelligent, low-maintenance, has a bit of a weird sense of humour but at least she has one. I mean, is it my taste that's the problem? Was she just not your type?"
"No!" says Colin. "No, she was lovely. I dunno, I just didn't-- didn't feel it with her. You know?"
"Well, that's all right then!" beams Bradley. "Some people you feel it with, others you don't. Try again, eh?"
"Yeah, I suppose. But what about you? I'm not being subjected to another of your blind dates until you've had a taste of it yourself."
"Bradley James can conquer any challenge. So, what? You got someone lined up for me?"
"I do. Her name's Joanna--"
"Sounds nice."
"She's a yoga instructor--"
"Ooh, flexible."
"And she's looking forward to meeting you."
"Well," says Bradley, throwing his head back. "I am Prince Charming, after all."
-
Joanna is every inch the nice sort of girl he'd expect Colin to know. She's funny, likeable and pretty easy on the eyes. She's also wearing a nice top, eye-catching but not slutty.
She's a bit--loud, though.
"--so then I thought, well, rowing isn't everything. And I'm not particularly happy doing it. So I quit my sponsors and decided to get into yoga."
"You used to row?" says Bradley, jolting out of his reverie.
"Yes, that's what this whole story's been about. Haven't you been listening?" Joanna's face falls. "Oh, I've been boring you, haven't I? I'm sorry, I tend to go on a bit."
"No, no!" Yes, yes. "It's fine, really. I just zoned out a little. Worrying about something."
"Oh?" Joanna says. "What?"
"Er--" says Bradley, trying desperately to think of something and coming up with: "Colin, actually. I think he pushes himself quite hard."
This prompts Joanna to start talking about diet and the importance of exercise, which takes them right through dessert. He walks her home and kisses her on the cheek and says he'd like to do it again sometime, but they don't exchange numbers, so he might have escaped.
-
Colin comes back from his next date with Harriet, a friend of one of Bradley's many cousins, with a defeated look on his face.
"What was wrong with this one?"
"Ten minutes into the film, she started crying because it reminded her of when her dog died and she didn't stop. We had to leave the cinema. And she was proper crying, like! I didn't know what to do."
"What did you do?"
"Bought her some tissues from the corner shop and paid for her taxi home."
"Why was she crying, anyway?"
"Her dog happened to be called 'Zac'."
-
The next girl, some vague acquaintance of Colin's, is so completely batty that Bradley reckons he only just escapes with his life. It's a close call, but luckily it's only a coffee shop and he can pretend that his agent has texted him about an imminent audition. He catches the bus with only a mild smattering of guilt and calls Colin for consolation.
-
He feels better when he's sitting in Colin's flat, watching Top Gear, drinking milk.
Jeremy Clarkson does something ludicrous and prompts Bradley to say, "We're not very good at this, are we?"
"Hmm," says Colin.
"Why is that, do you think?"
"Hmm."
"Yeah, probably."
Richard Hammond nearly kills himself in the silence. Bradley drinks some more milk.
"You've got a moustache," says Colin, and Bradley wipes it off. "Maybe we should--"
"Should what?"
"Well, you know. Present a united front."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Maybe we should double date."
There's a pause, then a light comes on in Bradley's head. "That's not a bad idea!"
"What would you do without me?" says Colin, turning back to the telly.
-
Turns out not a lot, because Bradley's date stands him up and it takes him more than an hour to realise that she's not just missed the bus. They're already most of the way through the starters though, so he stays anyway. Rachel is being so nice about it that he doesn't feel like a third wheel to her and Colin.
"Besides," she says, laughing prettily, "This way, I get the both of you all to myself!"
Despite the fact that Bradley's been dumped before her he can even meet his date, this double thing seems to be going well for Colin. He looks animated and happy, chatting about acting and Ireland, and Bradley works double time to try and steer Rachel away from mentioning things Colin really hates talking about, like X-factor.
Rachel goes to the loo while Bradley and Colin split the bill, and Bradley says,
"Think you might have done it, mate,"
and Colin smiles and replies,
"Yeah, maybe."
Bradley walks back to his flat alone while Colin walks her home and doesn't expect a call until late tomorrow morning, but he's barely opened the front door before his phone's ringing.
"She said she 'got the impression I wasn't interested in her', whatever that means."
"Bad luck," says Bradley, because he doesn't quite know what else to say. "Maybe next time."
-
Bradley confides in Angel, because maybe she can work out why he and Colin are so disastrous at courting women. And also because he's running out of single female acquaintances to introduce to Colin.
"Some people you feel it with," she says, "Others, you don't."
"That's what I said!"
"Well, you can't force it. The right one will come along at some point. You just have to be patient."
"I just want him to be happy," says Bradley. "I think he gets a bit lonely when I'm not around. And he puts so much effort into his job. He needs someone to look out for him."
"He's got his mates for that. And on that note," she says, smiling broadly. "Think you can get me a date with him?"
"What?" says Bradley, flabbergasted. "What do you want that for?"
"So I can inspect his dating technique and see where he's going wrong," she says. "And I've always fancied him quite a bit."
-
Bradley turns up to his and Colin's next double date, Angel in tow, and finds himself sitting down opposite Katie.
"I'm running out of eligible women," says Colin, a bit red.
It goes well, especially now he and Colin have worked out things are better if they work as a team. There's never an awkward silence with the girls at the table, but Bradley can't help feeling that the meal has been more of a friendly meeting than a date.
Katie says exactly that when they leave.
"I think we should do this again," she says, "But just the two of us."
Bradley just nods numbly.
"I enjoyed myself, Bradley," she says, smiling. "You've impressed me."
-
Katie is very late to their next date. Bradley sits alone at the table for nearly an hour, fending off waiters asking him,
"A drink, sir?"
"Would you like to order anyway, sir?"
and, "When do think the lady might arrive, sir?"
He's wondering how she even forgot, since she was the one who booked the table, when he catches sight of Colin on the other side of the restaurant, half hidden by a large fern thing. He looks bored and resigned as well.
Bradley goes over and sits down. The waiters look scandalised.
"Hey," says Bradley.
"Hey."
"No show?"
"Yeah, I reckon."
"Me too."
"Can't see why--she booked the table."
"Yeah, so did Katie," says Bradley. "Women, eh? Forget their heads if they weren't screwed on."
"Bit weird, though. I've tried calling Angel, but it just goes straight to voicemail."
"Yeah, me too. Maybe they're on the Tube?"
"Maybe."
A waiter sashays over. "Would you like to order now?"
"Yeah, go on then," says Bradley.
He always forgets, in between meetings, how well he actually gets on with Colin. It's never boring, for one, even if he is allergic to all the reality shows Bradley's hooked on. But there are other things to talk about: work and home, Bradley's crazy cousin who bungee jumps for a living, the mad things fans have sent them. As they leave the restaurant, Bradley feels pleasantly relaxed. Much better than if he'd gone out with Katie, who still terrifies him a little.
Bradley walks Colin back to his flat, because it's on his way, and on the steps, Colin takes a big breath and says,
"I think we were set up."
"What?"
"By Katie and Angel. I think they planned to stand us up."
"Why would they do a thing like that?"
Colin takes another steadying breath, like he's psyching himself up to say, "Because I think they noticed how much I like you."
"Oh," says Bradley. "That's-- Good."
Colin just looks stunned that he's actually said it and doesn't say anything further.
"I mean," says Bradley, trying to pick his words carefully. "I've enjoyed tonight more than every other date you've set me up with so far put together. I think it's safe to say I like you too."
"But--" says Colin. "Just to be clear. I'm saying that--that I like you more than just--a friend."
"Don't be daft, Colin, of course I know that! And I'm saying I feel the same way."
"Oh," says Colin, grinning. "That's good."
"So," says Bradley. "Was this our first proper date, then?"
"Reckon so."
"We should do this again sometime."
"Definitely."
"And you should know, I don't kiss on the first date. I'm a gentleman."
"Well, I'm not and I do," says Colin, and swoops in for a cheeky one. Bradley's left stunned on the street as Colin bounds up the stairs and says, "I'll call you."
"Yeah," says Bradley, a bit dazed. He smiles up at Colin, who's lingering in the doorway. "Yeah, I'll see you soon."
He walks home with a spring in his step. Like Angel said:
The right one will come along at some point.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, Colin Morgan, Bradley James or indeed anything of value. This is for entertainment purposes with no wish to offend
-
"How'd it go?" says Bradley, as soon as Colin has sat down.
Colin takes a deep breath, lets it out again and takes a very long swallow of his beer.
"That bad?"
"Not so bad. I'm exaggerating. Not as bad as visiting my grandmother," says Colin. "Or violent strangulation."
Bradley winces, watches the speed at which Colin's drinking his pint and gets up to buy another round. He sets the glasses down a little enthusiastically and, while he's mopping up the spillage, Colin says,
"I don't get it, really."
"Hmm?"
"There was nothing wrong with her!"
"I should hope not. I set you up with her," says Bradley. "It'd be a terrible reflection on my taste if I picked out someone really awful."
Colin shakes his head and drops it into his hands. "I don't get it."
"Look, Catherine's pretty, intelligent, low-maintenance, has a bit of a weird sense of humour but at least she has one. I mean, is it my taste that's the problem? Was she just not your type?"
"No!" says Colin. "No, she was lovely. I dunno, I just didn't-- didn't feel it with her. You know?"
"Well, that's all right then!" beams Bradley. "Some people you feel it with, others you don't. Try again, eh?"
"Yeah, I suppose. But what about you? I'm not being subjected to another of your blind dates until you've had a taste of it yourself."
"Bradley James can conquer any challenge. So, what? You got someone lined up for me?"
"I do. Her name's Joanna--"
"Sounds nice."
"She's a yoga instructor--"
"Ooh, flexible."
"And she's looking forward to meeting you."
"Well," says Bradley, throwing his head back. "I am Prince Charming, after all."
-
Joanna is every inch the nice sort of girl he'd expect Colin to know. She's funny, likeable and pretty easy on the eyes. She's also wearing a nice top, eye-catching but not slutty.
She's a bit--loud, though.
"--so then I thought, well, rowing isn't everything. And I'm not particularly happy doing it. So I quit my sponsors and decided to get into yoga."
"You used to row?" says Bradley, jolting out of his reverie.
"Yes, that's what this whole story's been about. Haven't you been listening?" Joanna's face falls. "Oh, I've been boring you, haven't I? I'm sorry, I tend to go on a bit."
"No, no!" Yes, yes. "It's fine, really. I just zoned out a little. Worrying about something."
"Oh?" Joanna says. "What?"
"Er--" says Bradley, trying desperately to think of something and coming up with: "Colin, actually. I think he pushes himself quite hard."
This prompts Joanna to start talking about diet and the importance of exercise, which takes them right through dessert. He walks her home and kisses her on the cheek and says he'd like to do it again sometime, but they don't exchange numbers, so he might have escaped.
-
Colin comes back from his next date with Harriet, a friend of one of Bradley's many cousins, with a defeated look on his face.
"What was wrong with this one?"
"Ten minutes into the film, she started crying because it reminded her of when her dog died and she didn't stop. We had to leave the cinema. And she was proper crying, like! I didn't know what to do."
"What did you do?"
"Bought her some tissues from the corner shop and paid for her taxi home."
"Why was she crying, anyway?"
"Her dog happened to be called 'Zac'."
-
The next girl, some vague acquaintance of Colin's, is so completely batty that Bradley reckons he only just escapes with his life. It's a close call, but luckily it's only a coffee shop and he can pretend that his agent has texted him about an imminent audition. He catches the bus with only a mild smattering of guilt and calls Colin for consolation.
-
He feels better when he's sitting in Colin's flat, watching Top Gear, drinking milk.
Jeremy Clarkson does something ludicrous and prompts Bradley to say, "We're not very good at this, are we?"
"Hmm," says Colin.
"Why is that, do you think?"
"Hmm."
"Yeah, probably."
Richard Hammond nearly kills himself in the silence. Bradley drinks some more milk.
"You've got a moustache," says Colin, and Bradley wipes it off. "Maybe we should--"
"Should what?"
"Well, you know. Present a united front."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Maybe we should double date."
There's a pause, then a light comes on in Bradley's head. "That's not a bad idea!"
"What would you do without me?" says Colin, turning back to the telly.
-
Turns out not a lot, because Bradley's date stands him up and it takes him more than an hour to realise that she's not just missed the bus. They're already most of the way through the starters though, so he stays anyway. Rachel is being so nice about it that he doesn't feel like a third wheel to her and Colin.
"Besides," she says, laughing prettily, "This way, I get the both of you all to myself!"
Despite the fact that Bradley's been dumped before her he can even meet his date, this double thing seems to be going well for Colin. He looks animated and happy, chatting about acting and Ireland, and Bradley works double time to try and steer Rachel away from mentioning things Colin really hates talking about, like X-factor.
Rachel goes to the loo while Bradley and Colin split the bill, and Bradley says,
"Think you might have done it, mate,"
and Colin smiles and replies,
"Yeah, maybe."
Bradley walks back to his flat alone while Colin walks her home and doesn't expect a call until late tomorrow morning, but he's barely opened the front door before his phone's ringing.
"She said she 'got the impression I wasn't interested in her', whatever that means."
"Bad luck," says Bradley, because he doesn't quite know what else to say. "Maybe next time."
-
Bradley confides in Angel, because maybe she can work out why he and Colin are so disastrous at courting women. And also because he's running out of single female acquaintances to introduce to Colin.
"Some people you feel it with," she says, "Others, you don't."
"That's what I said!"
"Well, you can't force it. The right one will come along at some point. You just have to be patient."
"I just want him to be happy," says Bradley. "I think he gets a bit lonely when I'm not around. And he puts so much effort into his job. He needs someone to look out for him."
"He's got his mates for that. And on that note," she says, smiling broadly. "Think you can get me a date with him?"
"What?" says Bradley, flabbergasted. "What do you want that for?"
"So I can inspect his dating technique and see where he's going wrong," she says. "And I've always fancied him quite a bit."
-
Bradley turns up to his and Colin's next double date, Angel in tow, and finds himself sitting down opposite Katie.
"I'm running out of eligible women," says Colin, a bit red.
It goes well, especially now he and Colin have worked out things are better if they work as a team. There's never an awkward silence with the girls at the table, but Bradley can't help feeling that the meal has been more of a friendly meeting than a date.
Katie says exactly that when they leave.
"I think we should do this again," she says, "But just the two of us."
Bradley just nods numbly.
"I enjoyed myself, Bradley," she says, smiling. "You've impressed me."
-
Katie is very late to their next date. Bradley sits alone at the table for nearly an hour, fending off waiters asking him,
"A drink, sir?"
"Would you like to order anyway, sir?"
and, "When do think the lady might arrive, sir?"
He's wondering how she even forgot, since she was the one who booked the table, when he catches sight of Colin on the other side of the restaurant, half hidden by a large fern thing. He looks bored and resigned as well.
Bradley goes over and sits down. The waiters look scandalised.
"Hey," says Bradley.
"Hey."
"No show?"
"Yeah, I reckon."
"Me too."
"Can't see why--she booked the table."
"Yeah, so did Katie," says Bradley. "Women, eh? Forget their heads if they weren't screwed on."
"Bit weird, though. I've tried calling Angel, but it just goes straight to voicemail."
"Yeah, me too. Maybe they're on the Tube?"
"Maybe."
A waiter sashays over. "Would you like to order now?"
"Yeah, go on then," says Bradley.
He always forgets, in between meetings, how well he actually gets on with Colin. It's never boring, for one, even if he is allergic to all the reality shows Bradley's hooked on. But there are other things to talk about: work and home, Bradley's crazy cousin who bungee jumps for a living, the mad things fans have sent them. As they leave the restaurant, Bradley feels pleasantly relaxed. Much better than if he'd gone out with Katie, who still terrifies him a little.
Bradley walks Colin back to his flat, because it's on his way, and on the steps, Colin takes a big breath and says,
"I think we were set up."
"What?"
"By Katie and Angel. I think they planned to stand us up."
"Why would they do a thing like that?"
Colin takes another steadying breath, like he's psyching himself up to say, "Because I think they noticed how much I like you."
"Oh," says Bradley. "That's-- Good."
Colin just looks stunned that he's actually said it and doesn't say anything further.
"I mean," says Bradley, trying to pick his words carefully. "I've enjoyed tonight more than every other date you've set me up with so far put together. I think it's safe to say I like you too."
"But--" says Colin. "Just to be clear. I'm saying that--that I like you more than just--a friend."
"Don't be daft, Colin, of course I know that! And I'm saying I feel the same way."
"Oh," says Colin, grinning. "That's good."
"So," says Bradley. "Was this our first proper date, then?"
"Reckon so."
"We should do this again sometime."
"Definitely."
"And you should know, I don't kiss on the first date. I'm a gentleman."
"Well, I'm not and I do," says Colin, and swoops in for a cheeky one. Bradley's left stunned on the street as Colin bounds up the stairs and says, "I'll call you."
"Yeah," says Bradley, a bit dazed. He smiles up at Colin, who's lingering in the doorway. "Yeah, I'll see you soon."
He walks home with a spring in his step. Like Angel said:
The right one will come along at some point.