Title: Love Today (11/?)
Title: Love Today (11/?)
Author: Boldpapermate
Pairing: Callie/Hahn, Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Seattle Grace is filled with TONS of rumors. And TONS of options. And TONS of situations. lLease read and review!
Disclaimer: All the characters are property of ABC and Shonda. I own nothing, and no one. Although sometimes I wish I did
A/N: WOAH. Who's been away for forever? I have! I have! Special thanks to my ever so wonderful beta istillam for always putting up with my rambling, bad spelling, and my long absences. YOU ARE TRULY AWESOME/AMAZING. (BTW comments make me feel pretty :D).
A/N NUMBER 2: So remember me? IT'S BEEN AWHILE. I apologize for the extrememly long wait!! Ive been so busy and disappeared for awhile. But I hope to be back for a good decent amount of time and thanks to all those for sticking with me (if you have). I owe you all a cookie or something. Oh. And please don't kill me for the end, theres a ton more to come!
Callie
Callie’s pretty sure she needs to clear up a few of the rumors that have been circling around about her these days. First off, she technically was living in the hospital basement but not because she was poor OR cause she had rabies. It was quite the opposite actually. She came from a family of money, and she had a good clean slate of health. Except for chicken pox, but who seriously catches that when they’re thirty? She had chosen to live in the hospital mostly because she liked being alone. People didn’t bug her there, people didn’t use her for her money, and people didn’t use her period. Then George happened and Callie’s pretty sure she has no one but herself to blame for that issue because she probably did sort of force George into a marriage she knew he didn’t really want. But George was an adult and so was she, and there was no excuse for what he did. That was in the past now and Callie was all for enlightenment and forgetting about crap these days. Mostly because she didn’t want to get frown lines, but whatever. Anger just makes you resentful.
Secondly, George didn’t dump her because she was secretly a man. That was just ridiculous. She swears half the stuff that goes around this hospital is just plain crap, but Callie still wants to clear it up anyway. She is in fact a girl and George actually dumped her because he found something he thought was better. Callie may not have acted mature about the whole thing when it ended, but she was her own freaking person and she had her reasons. She was totally justified.
Thirdly, Callie is not with Erica because she thinks it’ll help her climb the work ladder to make her eligible for Chief or whatever. If the people knew Erica personally, they would know that she would probably be the worst bet to climb the social ladder at work. Erica is everything but social. She’s talented, driven, romantic, a woman and daring. Everything George wasn’t and that’s why Callie was with her. She had wanted something so different and such an opposite from George-because he was her everything and now he was her nothing-that she had started dating Erica. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t horrible. Erica was good to her and Callie really cared for her.
Fourthly, Callie isn’t a cheater who slept with Arizona in the janitor’s closet during lunch. She’s not even really sure how that last rumor got started because Callie’s been careful to avoid Arizona. Sure, Callie gave Arizona her number, but it was mostly because she enjoyed Arizona as a friend and didn’t want that relationship to stop. Maybe she was a teensy bit attracted and jealous, too. But it was like a miniscule part, her main agenda was just to be Arizona’s friend. For now it was the best she could do, because Callie was with Erica and no matter how much Arizona seemed to fascinate her, she wouldn’t let herself do to Erica what George did to her.
She usually puts on a good front-mostly because she was really good at acting in college-but Callie isn’t as badass as she likes to pretend she is. It’s like she wishes she could tell Erica the truth, that she has kissed Arizona a few times, and that she’s not really sure if she’s gay or straight or bisexual or whatever. She wishes she had the guts to tell Erica she isn’t sure about them because if she’s having doubts, then that has to mean maybe their relationship isn’t exactly meant to be. Callie wishes she could be the person to tell Erica all the things she’s worried about, that Erica isn’t what occupies her thoughts anymore. That it’s a perky blonde who has taken up residency in her head, that she’s worried about Mark and Arizona spending so much time together and that she hates Lexie for no real good reason because the kid probably couldn’t hurt a fly. Callie wishes she was as badass as she likes to pretend she is because then she could have the guts to do these things, but she doesn’t. She’s selfish and she’s scared and she doesn’t want to end up alone. So she continues on pretending like nothing’s wrong because she can’t be alone again…it just hurt too much.
She goes on pretending she’s extremely happy, while she’s secretly not. She goes on pretending like she doesn’t think about Arizona when she secretly does. Callie continues pretending like she doesn’t hate Lexie when frankly, she’s happy Lexie is out of the picture. That girl was just slightly neurotic and she had to resist the urge many times to break one of her bones. It was her job, she was sure she’d be great at it. Callie acts like it doesn’t bug her that Arizona stole her man-whore because even though he was a man-whore, he was her best friend and he would know what to do in this situation. He would have some kind of advice that would help.
Most of all, Callie goes on pretending that she doesn’t hear the whispers even though she constantly feels the need to clear them up. She pretends like they don’t bug her and like they’re full of crap even though she knows that deep down, all lies are spawned out of some sort of truth. Even the ridiculous ones start out from some small secret.
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Lexie
Lexie feels like maybe she should clear up some of the rumors that have been floating around about her. She isn’t sure whether she should be appalled or flattered that the hospital has suddenly found her interesting, but she does know that some of these rumors are just plain idiotic. Firstly, she doesn’t starve herself because she thinks it’d make her prettier. She’s a vegan and unfortunately that rules out half the stuff in the hospital cafeteria. She generally likes to bring her lunch from home in her little Hello Kitty lunch box, but no one generally pays attention to the lovely sandwiches or fruit bowls she makes. Lexie’s pretty sure it’s because they have more fun gossiping then trying to figure out the truth.
Secondly, she isn’t sleeping her way to the top. Lexie isn’t even sure if that could be considered accurate because if she wanted to sleep her way to the top she would have started with like the Chief or something-which, by the way, is gross just to think about-not Alex and then Arizona. She may have slept with a resident and then an attending, but it was more about the general lack of sex she had been having than the need for her to climb the hospital ranks. If people paid enough attention, they would see that Lexie was still an intern. She was still walked all over, she was barely given lunch breaks, and she was still called Little Grey. If Lexie wanted to climb the ranks she wouldn’t have slept with someone that broke her heart. She wouldn’t have slept with a woman, and she wouldn’t spend her sleep breaks crying in the janitor’s closet. Not that she was doing that or anything. If she was sleeping her way to the top, than she was doing a really bad job at it.
Thirdly, she wasn’t good at remembering things because she happened to damper in witchcraft because she was Meredith’s little sister and that obviously meant there was something dark about her. Lexie would bet her well made fruit bowls that it was Meredith who started this one. It probably wasn’t totally intentional-at least that’s what Lexie hopes-but she’s pretty sure Meredith started it mostly because she felt like there had to be something wrong with Lexie because there was something wrong with Meredith. Which given the whole genetic history and stuff Lexie understands, so she kind of isn’t so bothered by this rumor because in a strange way Lexie feels like it brings her and Meredith closer. It shows the similarities between them, and even though it was mean and Meredith might deny it, people don’t just start rumors for no reason. People start them because they care enough for it to get around, or they care enough to know if it’s true, or how it’ll affect you. Either way it involves someone caring and it may not be the conventional way for sisters to interact, but it was still something and it wasn’t terrible. Except for the witchcraft part, that was just nonsense.
Fourthly, she wasn’t the one who seduced Arizona. Okay, maybe she was the one who shoved her hand down Arizona’s pants, but really, Arizona was a big girl. She could have said no. Technically Arizona asked Lexie on the first date, Arizona grabbed her hand, Arizona continued to sleep with her, and Arizona was the one who left her close to fifteen messages a day. Fifteen messages that Lexie refused to respond to because that would make her the weak one, right? She wasn’t clear on the whole lesbian relationships thing but she had watched RENT recently and from it she learned that when a lesbian couple fights-Lexie isn’t quite sure if that’s what she is or if this was her gay college experience that was somewhat delayed-you shouldn’t forgive the other person quickly unless someone dies. It was nothing if not to the point, and Lexie was stuck on following it. She wouldn’t be the submissive one.
Lastly, Lexie isn’t a gay deviant turned intern trying to corrupt the hospital to her sexual ways. Like really? Lexie was shocked when she had heard this rumor floating around and she had thought no one would believe it until she saw people dodging her and others avoiding her on purpose. She was usually alone but now she was really alone because even the interns refused to sit with her. When Lexie had tried asking one of her fellow interns why they were avoiding her, she had simply replied that she didn’t want Lexie to turn her gay. While Lexie was attractive in her own right, she didn’t really want to be turned gay because it’d put a damper on her 4 year plan. So she was being avoided on the belief that people were going to catch the gay from her and Lexie just feels like she should clear up the rumors because she isn’t even really that gay. And even if she was a little gay, it wouldn’t be contagious like mad cow disease or the swine.
It’s not even that big of a deal because they’re just rumors and Lexie knows she shouldn’t be that bothered by them. She knows that no matter what she says or does rumors will be flying around about her and maybe she should just feel honored because that means she’s somewhat interesting to the hospital. That means she’s worth talking about, which means she has to be worth something, right? Lexie knows she shouldn’t feel bothered or feel the need to clear them up because none of its true. But the thing about rumors is that they all start from somewhere, and even if the majority of it isn’t true, something within the rumor is.
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Arizona
Arizona knows that there are some rumors that she just needs to clear up. She doesn’t really know when she started to be the most interesting thing about this hospital because really, whoever stepped foot into Seattle Grace would know that there was way better gossip than Arizona-hello, Meredith Grey was the daughter of Ellis Grey who had an affair with the chief, then tried to commit suicide-but she figured that people just liked to gossip and because she was new it was sort of the ritual to go through. After two weeks, the gossiping started to prey on her normally non-judgmental nature. Arizona wasn’t the type to care about the things that went around the hospital because sometimes the stuff was just ridiculous. But after a certain point it just started to grate on her nerves and she feels the need to clear everything up, because a part of her hopes it’ll have an effect on the whispers that plague her throughout the day.
Firstly, Arizona wasn’t named after the state because that’s where she was conceived. She had originally thought that the rumor was sort of funny and harmless because she could see why people would think that. What sort of parent would name their child after a state? So Arizona wasn’t exactly bothered by the origin of this rumor, but she still felt the need to clear it up because she was named after her grandfather. Well the boat her grandfather was on, anyway. Having the name Arizona taught her to be proud, and even though she wasn’t really bothered by the rumor, she still felt the need to clear it up because she was strong, like her grandfather. She was strong and she was proud and her name was Arizona. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Secondly, Arizona didn’t come to Seattle Grace to find new girls to prey on. To be quite honest Arizona was a little peeved at this notion. She was a doctor and she was professional, she never intended for things to go the way that they did. She thought that people would recognize how good she was at her job and how much she just loved it. She never thought that people would insinuate something so degrading about her character. But then again she had never thought she would have slept with an intern, fallen somewhat under the spell of a resident-who was straight/gay/bi/confused/sexually frustrating-who was in a relationship, and become good friends with a man-whore. Seriously, a man-whore? Karma had a tricking way of working and unfortunately Arizona seemed to be on the wrong side of all of it.
Thirdly, Arizona wasn’t sleeping with Mark. It didn’t really matter to Arizona how this rumor had started; she was just dead set on making sure people knew it wasn’t true. Mark seemed to be enjoying all the congratulation glances and questioning stares and looks of amazement for ‘turning a lesbian straight’. It was just all so eew, that Arizona literally had to resist the urge to vomit sometimes because if she was straight-if being the key word-she would never in her right mind sleep with someone as icky as Mark Sloan. That’s right, she said icky. Sure, he was nice and was on occasion kind of funny. But most of the time he was just dirty, icky and oh so gross that Arizona couldn’t even fathom the idea of being anything other than somewhat friends with him. Seriously. It was mind numbing to think that people even considered that lie to be true.
Fourthly, Arizona was in no way stalking Callie. Nor was she carrying on an affair with her. First of all, to be having an affair, one had to be married and Callie was no such thing. Not that that detail mattered to Arizona or anything, because cheating was cheating. Second, Arizona was not a creepy stalker girl who followed people home. She had done that once-it was a minor slip in judgment and she was fifteen, cut her a break-and she had learned her lesson after she had felt extremely creepy and accidently slipped on some mud. It was just plain ridiculous to even assume that Arizona was stalking Callie. They worked in the same hospital for crying out loud. They were bound to see each other at some point, it’s not like Arizona could spend her days hiding in a bathroom so that she wouldn’t have to run into Callie. That was childish. Arizona might have had a child-like personality, but she didn’t resort to child-like matters…all of the time.
Arizona was clearly appalled at some of the gossip that floated around Seattle Grace on a daily basis. She couldn’t even bring herself to acknowledge all the ones that involved her because there were so many. She would probably have to spend a whole day just addressing each one. By that time people would assume that they were true because who would address something that wasn’t? The thing that sucked the most about gossip is that it doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not. All it takes is one person to say you’re crazy and no matter what you do, you’re screwed like Tiger Woods-no pun intended-and everything you do from thereon will only further prove the fact that you are what they said. If you deny it, you look guilty. If you ignore it, you look guilty. Arizona was in a lose-lose situation and it was so frustrating she almost resorted to listening to rap music. Almost.
But the one that bugged Arizona the most, the one that made her act like a crazy person. The only rumor that she just needed to clear up was a rumor that Arizona needed to believe wasn’t true. That she had broken Little Grey’s heart. Arizona wasn’t one to be bugged by rumors. Having the name Arizona kind of forced you to grow tough skin, and also learn how to fight people with just a can of Spaghetti O’s-it was harder than someone would think-when you’re trying to defend your honor. But this rumor literally dug into her heart and burned every fiber of her being. Arizona needed to say that it wasn’t true because she didn’t want it to be true. She knew what heartache felt like; she knew the pain and the hurt. She understood it all and she had never wanted to be that person. The thought that she could be was a lot scarier than the thought that she actually liked Callie in a way that wasn’t friendly appropriate.
“Hey, Gangsta.”
Arizona snapped out of her thoughts and raised her head to meet Mark’s soft gaze.
Despite the fact that he seemed to be extremely vain and extremely self-centered, Mark didn’t just care about himself. Blondie had grown on him, and he knew it wasn’t really fair to Callie, but he felt like Arizona could use some help. After all he had been new once too, he knew what it felt like to have nobody really like you at the beginning. So even though Callie was his best friend and that would never change because Torres was the kickass to his awesome-he had literally been hanging out too much with Arizona-he felt a kinsman ship towards Arizona and was determined to help her.
Arizona rolled her eyes and snapped her chart shut. “Hey, Zac Efron.”
“Must you insult me so early in the morning?”
Arizona shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know. Must you wear such form-fitting shirts?”
Mark frowned and looked down at the t-shirt he had chosen this morning. Mostly because it was green and he was a big fan of sea foam green. It reminded him of the ocean. But that was neither here nor there.
“They make me look cool.”
“They make you look like thirty year old trying to pass for sixteen.”
“But it’s working right?” Mark asked with a smug smile on his face.
Arizona rolled her eyes and tried to dodge Mark’s arm that he was attempting to sling over her shoulders. “Of course. You totally look like an older Zac Efron.”
Mark stopped trying to put his arm around Arizona and instead made his hand into a fist before shooting it into the air. “Score.”
Arizona really didn’t like Mark or what he stood for on most occasions. She wasn’t a fan of what he did or the way that he did it. But somewhere underneath all the icky sex grime and STD’s there was a guy who was actually somewhat decent. And who was a good friend sometimes.
“So I got a new couch over the weekend.”
Arizona nodded and started walking down the hallway with Mark. “It sounds awesome.”
Mark raised his eyebrows suggestively and spoke in his deepest sexiest voice. “Wanna help me break it in?”
Arizona didn’t even notice when her hand reached out and smacked Mark across the back of his head. It was so much like a second nature that Arizona didn’t even have to put much thought into it. Or even much effort because even after all this time, Mark still hadn’t learned to duck.
Mark rubbed the back of his head and grimaced. “I guess you’re still a lesbian.”
“I guess so.”
“I thought it was one of those things you just grow out of you know. Like tennis shoes and parachute pants,”Mark shrugged.
Arizona turned her head and opened her mouth to school Mark. She was so focused on giving him a stern talking to that she didn’t notice the person walking her way, until she bumped into them and sent them flying to the floor.
Arizona changed her focus and tried to scramble to pick up all the charts. She grabbed a couple and stuck her hand out to help the other person up. “I’m so sorry about that! Sometimes I don’t pay attention to where I’m going, I get easily distracted and tend to like…”
Arizona trailed off as she pulled the girl to her feet. The girl looked at her in horror and Arizona recognized her almost immediately.
“Lexie.”
Arizona had prepared a speech beforehand. She had note cards and power point presentations. She was the definition of over prepared in case of a chance encounter with Lexie, but for all the scenarios Arizona had planned the past couple of weeks. This had definitely not been one of them.
Lexie looked more or less the same. She was still pretty in her lost sort of way, but now she was even more so. She looked like she had lost some weight, her face was really pale, and her eyes were red rimmed. Arizona was almost shocked that in the past few weeks she hadn’t run into Lexie. Granted Seattle Grace was a big hospital, but Lexie was an intern and Arizona a resident, the fact that Lexie hadn’t even been on her service once during the past few weeks was amazing. Arizona had an inkling suspicion that Meredith might have had something to do with it. Regardless of what Meredith said, Arizona knew she cared for Lexie a bit more than she liked to let on.
Mark cleared his throat. “Hello Little Grey.”
Arizona kept her eyes on Lexie trying to read her features. “It’s Le-“
“Fine,” Lexie interrupted, nodding in the direction of Mark. “It’s fine.”
Arizona frowned and tried to think of something intelligent to say, anything intelligent to say.
“I missed you.” Well anything but that.
Lexie’s gaze shot from the ground to Arizona. She looked confused and disbelieving of Arizona’s words. Arizona didn’t blame her because the way she had treated Lexie was kind of low. The truth might have been that Arizona didn’t feel that way about Lexie, but she did feel something, and she had missed her. She missed the girl who made her laugh, and the girl who used to make Arizona feel better about herself. Arizona had always been attracted to people she could fix and Lexie was just that. Arizona liked the idea that she had been slowly healing her, and hated the idea that she might have broken Lexie all over again.
“Don’t,” Lexie began shakily. She exhaled a breath before continuing. “Don’t lie to me.”
“It’s not a lie,” she whispered softly.
Lexie stood there for a few minutes, then puffed out her chest and squared her shoulders. “I have to go.”
She brushed by Arizona and Mark quickly without another word, leaving Arizona to stand helplessly as she felt a piece of her heart shatter.
“Well,” Mark began softly. “That wasn’t awkward.”
Arizona sighed and rolled her eyes. She started walking again, the charts still in her hand, and ignored Mark’s smug smile. She just really, really wanted to smack him for reasons unknown to her.
“Look Blondie. The way I see it, is you’ve got two choices.”
Arizona raised an eyebrow questioningly towards Mark, but still walked slowly down the hallway.
“You can either forget about her and let the chick mope around for weeks,” Mark stated quickly. “Or you can talk to her and get her back. It’s your choice.”
Arizona looked at Mark for a few minutes. “What about Callie?”
Arizona hadn’t meant to tell Mark everything, but after she did she felt extremely better. It was like this load was taken of her shoulders. She felt so damn relieved that she had decided to tell him about Lexie, too.
Mark shrugged and looked down the hall to where Callie was watching them curiously. He loved Callie, he really truly did, and he would never want to see her hurt. They were best friends after all. But there was a difference between protecting Callie’s pain and protecting Callie’s desires. At the end of the day Callie was with Erica and she didn’t look like she was planning on leaving her any time soon. Mark might not have been the smartest guy around, but he got people. He understood that it wasn’t fair to let Arizona wait around for Callie when Callie was clearly satisfied with what she had. Especially when there was a girl who was willing to be with Arizona, maybe Arizona didn’t love her or maybe she couldn’t, either way it was worth it to try.
Mark looked Arizona in the eyes and spoke as seriously as he could. “What about her?”
Arizona nodded slightly, understanding Mark through his lack of words. “What am I supposed to do? She’s like an amazing avoider. I have no idea how she does it. She must have been a girl scout! Girl scouts are really good at hiding…or was that selling cookies? I never really knew the difference.”
Arizona frowned and continued her thoughts in her head before Mark raised his hand, silencing her thoughts. “Slow down Blondie. You don’t need to know how she avoids you. You just need to find her.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“By knowing where she’s going.”
Arizona rolled her eyes tiredly. “Again Mark, how am I supposed to do that?”
Mark grinned and pointed down at the charts in Arizona’s hand. She followed his gaze and was suddenly hit with a realization. She looked back towards Mark, a huge grin in place.
“You’re kind of secretly a genius aren’t you?”
Mark scoffed. “Whoever said it was a secret?”
Arizona shook her head as she felt Marks arm wrap around her shoulders. This time she didn’t shrug his arm off or slap him, she just let it rest there, the warmth comforting her.
“We make a good team, Blondie.”
Arizona looked back at Mark and actually looked at him. She looked past the smug smiles and harsh words and saw the person she had come to call her friend, the real Mark Sloan.
“That we do man-whore. That we do.”