Fic: I'll follow you into the dark - Chapter 16

[xredsunburstx]

Title: I'll follow you into the darkness
Author: xredSunburstx
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: T
Summary: A patient’s father can’t accept that his daughter is going to die. Her doctor is Arizona Robbins who is now in hostage to do an operation which should save his daughters life. Will she survive and what is going Callie to do? Reviews appreciated.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Authors Note: I could write an essay just about this song… I love it… ab-solut-ely one of my all time favourite and of course Thanks to Nina Simone for „I put a spell on you’, because this song was the reason I wrote on. It was (beneath your reviews) my muse!

This Chapter I wrote in Arizona’s point of view and I hope you like it. Just tell me what’s better in your opinion. Well I know how much you card for our Callie and how she was feeling about the whole situation.

And please do me a favour. Listen to the song. You need to listen to it to understand how melancholic it is and how much it screams out the words, how much her heart is screaming for someone. I thought it’d capture Callie’s emotions perfectly… and of course… Arizona’s.

And thank you for being a part of this journey.

-Sun


Chapter 16 - I put a spell on you

No one would believe me if I say I was ‘born’ 10 days ago.

Of course no one would believe me, because I’m 32 years old to be exactly. In reality I really am.

But I don’t live in reality. Instead I’m still a part of a dream and in this dream I hardly survived an accident; in this dream I was born 10 days ago.

In my opinion I’m really 10 days old, but I can talk already and I can eat in my own, I can walk, I can laugh and I can do things everyone else can do and I look like they look.

The only difference between me and everyone else is that I don’t remember anything. No one really knows everything about their childhood, but I don’t know anything at all. There’s Nothing, like someone erased a video tape, but here it’s my memory.

I can’t tell you the name of my mom and my dad, I don’t know if there are any brother or sister of mine outside there or if I’ve grown up alone; I can’ tell you whom I first kiss and in which age I lost my virginity and to whom. I can’t even tell you what I did 2 weeks ago, because back then I wasn’t born.

And it feels terrible, because it feels like I just overslept 32 years of my life and the scariest thing is that I don’t even remember my own name. There were people to tell me.

But it shouldn’t be like that. There shouldn’t be someone needed to tell me those things.

But… Yay!!! I’m alive and that’s awesome! Super awesome!

After the things the doctors told me (who I should know by the way, because I worked with them… but well… what can I do?), I was a very lucky girl to survive this.

But what did I survive? I don’t even know why I was lucky.

There are burning wounds on my body, ugly marks gracing my belly and my chest, but I can’t remember someone doing this.

There are disturbing dreams, waking me up at night.

Sometimes it’s like in a thriller movie I watched with Calliope a few days ago… figures, shadows, silhouettes, screaming’s, playing in my head over and over again like a movie and each night there’s another Chapter. But I can’t see their faces clearly, I just see blood. My blood. And I scream.

But before it’s getting further on there she is again.

Waking me up, weeping me, holding me.

When I woke up each time I wanted to ask her what happened, if she knows anything, because I can’t differ between reality and dream. But I’m too scared.

Everything is so new and strange and scary that I don’t know how to act. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know who I can trust and who not. It’s scary.

The only one who isn’t scary is Calliope. And there is she again, sticking in my mind, beautiful - full lips - magnificent - Calliope. She’s the only one I feel save with and even I just know her for 10 days it feels like I know her for an eternity.

The first night I slept here I had a nightmare and I asked her to stay. I asked her to stay, because the warmth of her body, her simple touch captured my mind and I couldn’t refuse. I didn’t know why I wanted her to stay and why I felt so good in her company, but when she stayed, when I felt her just lying a few centimetres away I couldn’t do anything else and so I laid my head on her belly and hugged her slightly. My heart was still pounding heavily, but nor because of the dream I had, it was because of her.

In the middle of the night I woke up, because I felt some pair of arms around my body and her warm breath in my neck. I crawled nearer and I tried to be as close as possible to her.

I didn’t know why I was doing it and I didn’t understand why my stomach felt as funny as that, but something was going on. I felt something when I was near her, and the feeling is still there when she’s touching me.

Somehow we managed to sleep together each night, because I asked her too, even I was scared to annoy her, maybe to go too far.

But when she was holding me there weren’t any of these bad dreams, capturing my mind.

When she is around I feel everything except of fear.

I put a spell on you

‘Cause your mine

And again I’m waking up with her in front of me. The past few days I enjoyed the view in front of me when I was opening my eyes. She’s sleeping longer than me, so I’ve been able to see her beautiful face each morning I woke up.

She’s the most beautiful girl I have seen in the last 10 days and I feel like I’ve never seen someone as magnificent as her in my entire life.

I don’t know it clearly, but it’s a feeling I can’t shake, something I know without remembering.

It’s the way she’s looking when she’s awake. The way she’s smiling and talking.

The way she’s touching me and it’s the way she’s looking when she’s asleep. I don’t quiet understand what’s happening with me, but the more I look at her, the more I start to like her and I can’t shake the thought of her.

I know I’m doing something I shouldn’t do, because she’s asleep, because it’s a line I’m crossing, because she’s so sweet and kind, helping me a lot the past few days and I feel like there’s a border I shouldn’t traverse, but I haven’t got the control over my body.

So I’m raising my hand to her soft and beautiful cheek and my fingers are hovering over her face. Moments are passing when I’m lying there, watching her, my fingers still hovering over her features, because there’s something in my head, telling me I shouldn’t do it.

But the strange and somehow awesome feeling in my stomach and in my heart is leading my actions and so I touch her. And when I touch her it’s like I’m dying. I’m dying in front of her, right now, because an electric stroke is rushing through my veins, and I need more.

It’s like I’m watching myself from far far away and I can’t do anything against my longings when I’m touching her lips with thumb, grazing it.

And right before my lips are touching hers, the lips I long for so much, I cringed, almost falling out of the bed.

I shouldn’t do that.

I shouldn’t touch her like that.

I shouldn’t want her like that.

I shouldn’t.

But I do.

Without thinking I stand up and I ran out of the bedroom, leaving the sleeping beauty behind me.

I shouldn’t be doing this.

But I do.

You better stop the things you are doing

When I’m standing under the shower, silent tears are grazing my face and thoughts of how she touched me, while we were watching movies a few days ago are entering my mind.

I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t think about her in that way, when she is lying just a few meters away from me. I shouldn’t be thinking about her in that way when she was so self - scarifying, letting me stay with her.

…And suddenly I feel some strong arms around my torso and all I can to is moan.

I feel arms right under my naked breasts and some pair of hands wandering, hovering, and moving over my body.

I lay my head back in pleasure and my breath is going unsteady, because of the hands, roaming over my hot body. I can’t stop the moans leaving my mouth, even I bit down my lips, but when her full and oh so perfect lips are touching my neck I can’t hide my desire and my satisfaction.

“Don’t hold them back.” A voice is entering my mind and I can’t believe how turned in I am just by hearing her sore and husky voice.

“I want you…” She’s saying, while her lips are working on my neck and her hands are touching my breasts so willingly. She’s moving my head with her hands and she’s totally having the control over my body. I guess she’s really like yay!

I never felt that weak and full of desire. I never thought a human being could survive such strong feelings without bursting.

“I need you…”

I’m telling her, while her hands are wandering over my body, coming nearer to the place I need her to be.

“I know…”

Oh god, yes… she knows what she’s doing with me. She knows what - ahh - she’s doing to me.

I throw my head back and I feel like I fall back and I wait for her to stop me from falling, I wait for her support, and there she is, holding me close while her hand is hovering over my hot and oh so wet centre.

“I want to hear those moans, falling from your lips…” She’s whispering and the arousal isn’t deniable.

A moan is leaving my lips, entering her ears, filling her mind, like her words are filling mine.

“I want to hear you moan my name…” And with that she’s touching me for the first time, while she’s still squeezing my breasts tightly.

Oh god…What she’s doing to me isn’t able to explain. It’s magical. It’s unbelievable… It’s…

“Calliope…” I let out a soft, but loud moan, as her fingers are entering me so suddenly and I never felt that freed.

I’m grabbing for her black and fleecy hair as she’s moving her fingers in a steady rhythm. I’m grinding into her with my ass and I can feel her nipples stiffen against my back.

“Oh god… Calliope… I need you… I need you so much closer…” And with that she is pressing me against the cold and hard wall, pressing herself into me.

We are sweating, we are moaning, we are calling out our names. But the most beautiful sound is her grinding into me. The sound of the water and her liquor.

“Arizona…”

She’s calling out for me and I smile. When she’s saying my name it sounds so beautiful. But then there is it again.

“Arizona…?” She’s asking with a concern eyes and I open my eyes.

I’m still standing there under the shower, hot water grazing my body, but she isn’t with me. She isn’t there. It was a dream. A dream that seemed fucking real… Oh god… It feels like it was reality. It feels like I did that once before. It felt so real… I could really feel her lips on my shoulders when I was moaning her name.

I’m clearing my throat before I answer. “Yes?”

“Everything’s alright?? You want a coffee?”

“Yes please…” I’m replying, still out of breathe.

I ab-solut-ely need a coffee right now.

I don’t know why and I know I shouldn’t but I confess that she’s making me crazy.

I was brought back into reality and I need a cold shower, because I’m still aroused and she’s still capturing my mind. I wish she wouldn’t be there. But my body is still aching to be touched by her; even I know I shouldn’t feel like that.

For god’s sake she was just a colleague, maybe straight as an arrow, but she’s still oh so beautiful.

And as I’m entering the living room she’s standing behind the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in her hands and I guess no one can look that beautiful after just standing up, waiting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in their hands.

I don’t want to be honest with myself, because it’s easier to pretend that you are not falling for a person you can’t have, but when I’m looking at her I can’t deny the undeniable:

I love her raven long and shining hair, when soft curls are caressing her chin and gracing her caramel coloured skin and her strong shoulders.

I know I don’t remember and I know there hasn’t been something between us before, but it feels like I never longed so much for someone before. It feels like I’m longing for her since I was born, since I was able to think and to feel.

“Your coffee is finished…” She says, looking at me in a strange way and I realize we can’t be.

“Thank you…” I reply softly while I’m grabbing for the mug.

I realize that we can’t be, but when our fingers are touching slightly and briefly, I know that we should be.

She was the only one I trusted when I opened my eyes for the first time, not knowing anything, walking in the dark. She truly was the light that leaded me to the brighter side and with her I feel save somehow.

I feel like I remember…

Even I don’t.

But it feels so similar to something I once experienced; to something I once had; something I did, something I felt before.

I ain’t lyin’

“And what are we going to do today?”

I hope she’s saying that we are going to spend another day together, because I feel good in her company, super good.

But I also know that she stayed at home long enough and she’s a doctor. They need her there. Of course I know how important her job is, and a part of me feels like I know that feeling. But there’s also a selfish- part in me that wants her to stay.

“Unfortunately I have to go and see one of my patients…”She is saying with a sad tone before she’s taking a sip of her black coffee the same time I’m drinking mine, with milk and one sugar and I’m surprised how she knew what I liked before I knew it.

There are so many things she seems to know.

“Everything’s alright?” A stupid question after all, but she knows what I want her to do with asking. I want her to explain the situation to me.

“Well… it’s a little girl… She felt from a tree and broke both of her legs badly. But I fixed her with two operations and we gave her morphine to ease the pain and other medicine, so it should heal. But she is lying there for 2 weeks now what’s really not normal. Her wounds doesn’t heal, but we didn’t find anything yet.” She explains concerned and I think it’s awesome how much she cares, but there’s something else going on in my head.

It’s like I have a searching machine in my head, tipping in the things I need, and there are words, connections, explanations, solutions, things I never heard of before, but they are there nevertheless and I understand what she’s saying.

But the craziest thing is that I want to help, I care about a girl I have never seen and I want to see her health again like it’s my life Callie is talking about.

Maybe it’s because I was like Callie once. I was a doctor and I guess a part of me still is.

“Mhm… maybe there is another disease that hindering her breaking bones to heal. Maybe her immune system is infected anyhow. You could run some blood tests and do some scans of her brain and her heart…”

I say like I was talking about the weather right before I was taking a sip of my coffee and all I earn is a strange look, silence, hope filling the room instead and I fell uncomfortable with myself, because I have to destroy an oh so great feeling.

Hope is the only thing that keeps us alive.

And oh I wish I would remember something, anything, and everything.

“How do you come to that conclusion?” She looks at me as she has seen a ghost, but all I do is shrugging with my shoulders.

“I don’t know… It was just in my mind… I don’t know where it came from…” I reply, before I’m changing the subject abruptly, because I can’t stand her looking like that.

“And what were you planning for today?” I’m asking her, smiling wickedly in her direction.

“Well - uh - Mark asked me if we would come over to Joe’s. It’s our favourite place after work or when we have some spare time…We are there almost each night and we love it to hang out there and they thought it would be great to meet us there. Owen, Christina and Lexie will be there too.”

“That’s a great idea. I’m looking forward to it. And now go to work before I miss you to much…”

I say giggling; squeezing her hand and I let my hand linger and I look her straight into the eyes. It’s harder than I thought to free myself from her brown eyes, from her endlessly desert that leads to an oasis. To the oasis I want to stay.

But before I do something else than starring at her I rush into the bathroom drying my hair.

There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

The day passed really fast. Well I had a Lot to do after Callie was gone.

She told me she would hurry, but she guessed she would be late, because there had been a lot of work for her to do lately.

So I spent the whole day in front of her wardrobe, looking at the clothes she got me intentionally, maybe even for hours before I was able to decide what I would wear.

In my eyes it was just simple perfect, but I also wondered why the clothes and the underwear fit me so well. Calliope was a lot more curvy and feminine than I am, but those clothes are perfect, like they were made for me and when I’m looking into the mirror I’m satisfied.

When I hear the door open I’m happy I see her again, but she’s just throwing a loud “Hey. I’m back. Taking the shower.” At me before I lost her to the bathroom for almost half an hour. At least she didn’t need as long as me and when she was coming out I just could think about how stunning she is looking. Judging from how she looked at me she was thinking the same, even I just wear a grey shirt that punctuates my décolleté, a black denim jacket and blue denim… and my ass looks fabulous… I mean Super fabulous.

But what do I try to reach with this? What do I want?

I don’t understand the intension behind my actions; I guess it’s too difficult to understand my own feelings when I’m only 10 days old.

Hey Rome wasn’t build up in a few days, too.

That took ages!

Why should I understand what I’m feeling?

I understand that I want… her… somehow… maybe… for sure…?

I feel like a teenager that can’t decide between a backstreet boys or a spice girls concert.

Why did I have to grow up that fast?

When I try to read her mind, by looking her into the eyes, she’s still looking at me like she has seen a ghost and I try to change the subject… again.

“When are we going to meet them?”

She shrieks like I woke her up from a dream.

“Oh - ah - in … 10 minutes exactly…” She replies and I’m laughing out loud.

No I ain’t lyin’

Somehow I felt like I’m already a part of them, even I met them tonight for the first time in private, besides being my doctors. But it feels warmth with them around me, it feels like they know me and I know them.

It feels good to hear Calliope smile and laugh when Mark is telling a joke, and it feels good to be able to forget that I’m not remembering anything.

It feels like I can built up a life without remembering, even I wish there would be any chance for me to evoke my lost memories.

But now I try not to think about the things I might lose. Instead I keep looking at Calliope, who is a part of my ‘new’ life.

However I’m scared of loosing her when I get my old life back, because it seems like she wasn’t a real part of it.

I hope she will still be there for me when I gain my memories back.

I wish for nothing more than to have her in my life.

“Hey… hey! I have another joke… Okay a hippie is entering a bus and he sees a nun in the last row. Well he’s going over to hear, saying ‘Hey sweetie. I guess you never had sex. Wouldn’t it be time to try it?’… Well the nun was screaming out loud in shock and the hippie was about to leave the bus again when the bus driver was stopping him, saying ‘You want to have sex with her, you go to the church on Friday night. She’s praying there each week. You are going in there with a pope costume and you’ll say god sent you to have sex with her’. The hippie smiled mischievously and came into the church on Friday evening. The nun was already kneeling there and the hippie went to her, telling her the things the bus driver told him and the nun allowed it. Afterwards he was removing his mask screaming:’ Ha - ha! I’m the hippie…’ And suddenly the nun spinned around saying ‘Ha - ha, I’m the bus driver!”

We laughed our ass off so almost everyone was looking at us. I never thought those jokes are funny, but Mark really knows how to tell them.

And it’s also interesting to listen to all of them, to listen to the hospital stories I might be involved, about the last operation they did.

It’s friendly and they are laughing a lot, even Christina likes to be a little bit annoyed sometimes and she’s little bit bitchy, but I even like her.

I like all of them.

Especially I like her.

The one I’m gazing at all the time. The one I shouldn’t be gazing at. I should be only thankful for the thing she did for me the last days. No I shouldn’t fall in love with…

You know I can’t stand it

You’re running around

“Excuse me…” A soft female voice is interrupting Mark who is telling one of his never ending and very sexist jokes again and each of us is looking up, even it was meant for me.

“Yes?” I say politely and maybe I am blended but I really don’t know what she’s wanting.

And I guess I’m the only one, because each of them is looking shocked in her direction and Calliope looks sad, somehow.

“I… I wanted to ask you, if you’d like to dance…”

I look up and it’s somehow sweet that she’s rumbling like that. Its sweet she wants to dance with me. It’s kinda new that someone feels attracted to me and I don’t really want to turn her down. To be honest she looks like a sweet girl to me with her brown hair short and a good looking black shirt.

“Fortunately I really like the song… So… Yes… I’d like to…” I’m saying, but before I stand up I look in their direction.

“or… is it okay with you?” I ask all of them. But more I ask in Calliopes direction, but it seems like she isn’t minding.

“No. Of course not. Have fun.” She’s replying, even smiling and I’m not waiting before I stand up, walking after the sweet girl and hardly we reached the dance floor I can feel her hands roaming over my body.

She’ not one of the slow characters and I’m giving completely in, when I’m standing with my back to her and her hands are touching me on me belly, wandering down to my thigh while I’m moving my body in the rhythm of the music.

You know better daddy

I know I shouldn’t do it, while I’m dancing with this girl, but I can’t stop looking in Calliopes direction.

I look her directly in the eyes, filled with lust, and arousal, because my body is on fire since I started to dance, but I can’t interpret the glances she’s sending my way.

I know they are watching me, but I close my eyes and I give completely in, until I hear a voice I know oh so well, and when I spin around it’s Calliope capturing me in a sexy dance, and all I can think of are her hands on my hips, wandering up to the point where my bra is and I close my eyes again.

I know this is ridiculous, because as long as I’m not a witch (what I would have forgotten, by the way), it wasn’t be Calliope in front of my eyes and when I open them, it’s another girl in my arms, whispering soft words in my ears, asking me if I want to come with her, home.

But I can’t. Even I’d do anything to forget the other girl, because I will never be able to call her mine, I can’t ignore my true feelings and so I excuse myself and I spin around, my eyes searching for hers.

But she’s long gone.

I can’t stand it

“Where is she?” I ask when I’m reaching the table again to grab my jacket and it’s Mark who is answering in a soft and sad voice.

“She’s gone home…”

I want to ask why, but I don’t, because I want to get to her as fast as possible. I murmur a simple “I’m sorry…” before I’m leaving too.

Cause you put me down

When I’m entering the room with the key she gave me a few days ago I hear the sobs coming from the living room and without calling out for her I walk over to the fragile figure sitting on the ground with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hands and before she is able to react I’m sitting in front of her, watching her tears fall freely.

She speaks, but all she’s saying sounds Spanish to me. For god sakes why is she talking Spanish??? Just a few English words leaving her mouth and I put them together.

Ye - yeah

I put a spell on you

“I saw… you dancing… and… god… I want you to be happy.. but ¿por qué?... madre mía… it breaks my heart…” I hear through her sobbing and I can’t believe what she said.

I can’t believe how furiously my heart is pounding in my chest. But she really said those words… She really did…

Words that changed just everything and even she’s crying I need to smile.

With those words she made my heart ache, because I feel… I feel awesome.

And she’s still crying her heart out. She’s still speaking Spanish and she won’t stop, until I do something I wanted to do so long.

And so I’m looking at her with all the love and the desire I have to give, and there is it.

Words. Words I needed to say for days.

But now I’m not biting my lips to hide those words under my tongue.

Instead my heart is lying right in front of her.

“Touch me…” I’m saying in a soft voice and suddenly the room is filled with silence.

I’ve never seen something beautiful like her.

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

She’s sitting in front of me, staring at me with praying and pleading eyes and all I want to do is follow her deepest wish. But I’m just staring at her; the alcohol is still burning in my throat, and I ask myself if it was an illusion what she said, something I wanted her to say or was it the truth?

I’m looking into her eyes to find the answer, to find the truth, but there’s nothing than a dark blue ocean, reflecting my own deep wishes.

My whole body is shaking when I raise my hands to her cheek and it feels like dream I spent the nights with.

It’s like an impossible thing getting finally possible.

But I’m not touching her; instead my shaking hands are hovering over her cheek, longing to touch her.

I never thought I would feel too much that I wouldn’t be able to touch her, but now it’s like her whole body is on fire and I’m scared it will be cooled off as soon as I’m giving in into her beauty.

And there it is again. Her sweet an already husky voice.

“Please… Touch me…” She’s saying.

3 Words that changes everything.

One simple touch that send a magnifying electric rush through our bodies and I can’t believe that this is really happening when I thought we were over.

But I love her anyhow. I love her even she would turn her back on me. I love her no matter what’s happening, because she’ll ever be mine and now, when my hand is touching her, I feel that she’s still mine.

She already closes her eyes, giving her self up, like I do. And with only one single touch there’s a satisfaction I never felt before. But I hesitate and I wait. I try to let this feeling last as long as possible, even I want it to be replaced by something else, something stronger. A feeling I got to know the first time I was touching her.

Then when her tongue is touching my thumb firmly and she’s moving her head to the side my hand is lasting I can’t hold myself back. There isn’t a way I’m doing this to fast.

I love her and she should know. With my actions I want her to show how much I love her. How much I missed her.

I’m waiting for her reaction. I laid my heart out in front of her, and I want her to take it. I want her to give us a chance; even she would fall in love with a newborn.

I look at her with praying and pleading eyes.

I want her so much closer, but it feels like she’s waiting an eternity, just looking into my eyes.

But finally she’s raising her hands to my cheek, just before her lips are capturing mine sweetly.

She takes her time and even I need her so much, even I ache to be touched by her hands everywhere, I love just the feelings of those soft and beautiful lips on mine.

We take time to explore our lips shyly and I love the sensation of her lips. Everything is tingling, my body is prickling, just because she is opening her mouth and it gets deeper and deeper, like we are drifting away together.

When they talked about their first kiss in the movies or while we were with the other at Joe’s, about kisses at all, I never thought it was truth that just a kiss could send you to heaven and keep you there. They also said you would never forget your first kiss. And I’ll never forget this feeling.

Everything feels so good and pure, when my hands are crawling up to her face, intensifying the feeling of her.

And when I can’t get enough of the feeling I never want to let go again, I push her back softly without breaking the kiss until I’m lying on top of her.

I don’t know what to do, because I never did this.

At least I don’t remember, but somehow I know what to do with her. I feel so close to her it scares the life out of me, but I also enjoy the feeling like nothing before.

When I position myself between her legs and my hands are slowly crawling under her shirt a moan escapes her lips and I break up the kiss. I never heard something sexual an arousal before.

I look her straight into the eyes and find something else than never ending lust and desire.

Its hope and it looks exactly like love. It makes me believe that we did this before. It makes me believe, that she loved me for a long time. I caress her face with my fingers, stroking over her below lip and she closes her eyes, moaning again.

God I never thought I could have such affection over anyone, but whenever I touch her, wherever I touch her, her body seems to ache for mine.

Before I kiss her I use my hands to undress my upper body and I just wear a dark red bra. Scarcely have I sat on top of her with just my bra her hand found the way to my exposed skin and she whispers a simple “You are so beautiful…” and with that I undress her to.

It’s a game of our senses, and our bodies pressed on each other.

I lay down on her, caressing her soft creamy skin with my knuckles and my fingers.

It feels like I know how she feels and how she moans and gasps and when she’s aroused.

It feels like I know all these things when I close my eyes and kiss her again.

And again.

And again.

And… again.

Somehow I was able to manage to lie on the top of her.

God… how much I loved the feeling of her thighs between me legs; but now I needed to feel her under me. I needed to touch her, to feel her again when days passed in which I thought I would never be able to touch her like that.

Our love making hasn’t even started, but I already start to grind against her, because I want to hear her moaning, I want her to say my name, I want her to beg.

And there it is, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard and the feelings are overwhelming me as her hand is grabbing me behind my neck, pulling me in for another passionate and searing kiss.

“I want you… Calliope… I really want… you… so much…” She says in between the kisses and I open the zipper of her trousers, already feeling and smelling the moist, waiting for me.

It’s crazy how aroused she gets by my touch.

It’s crazy how she’s sending me almost over the edge with just a kiss.

“Touch me where I want to be touched…” She whispers and her voice is shaking.

“Where do you want to be touched?” I can’t resist teasing her a little bit. Arizona always was the one who loved me doing the dirty talk and I guess she’s still the same. But now there’s also something else. Exploding desire in her eyes and in her actions.

She’s grabbing my hand and brings it to her wet core and as soon as I’m touching her she shakes. I know she’s near, because I know how she’s sounding and feeling.

Oh god… I never get over how she makes me feel. I never get over that I cum, just by touching her.

When I’m drifting through her wet folds she’s gasping and she doesn’t breathe normal.

I want to say words of love, clarifying how much I love, want and need her. But no word is leaving me mouth while I’m kissing a part of her neck that makes her crazy.

I’m pull fingers inside of her and she’s gasping my name. She’s screaming out for me to quicken the pace and I suddenly feel her hands on mine, pulling me out of her and I’m scared I did too much. I’m scared of losing her, because of doing the wrong thing; but then I feel her fingers around my jeans. It’s like my clothes doesn’t want to be on my skin anymore and she’s the one who clarifies it.

“Put them off… please…”

She’s begging and I do what she wants, until I’m kneeling completely naked over her and I see her holding her breathe.

“You are… oh god… you are so beautiful…” She whispers.

“I… I want to feel you…” She only says and I know what she means when she’s spreading her legs wide, so I have space. It has always been our favourite position.

I open her wet and oh so soft folds and I pull myself into her, until our throbbing cores are connected and with that she screams my name a thousand times, her fingernails in my shoulder blades while I’m grinding heavily against her.

And there’s no space between us. Even our breasts are connected. Our whole body is connected like our soul, like our eyes.

Even when we are kissing each other we are looking us in the eyes, right into the darkest part of our soul. She only has the key to it.

And when a searing kiss, a battle of our tongues, is starting I enter her with 2 fingers.

“Oh god… Jesus… Calliope…” She’s screaming and her moans are filling my mind.

And I cry… I cry when she cums in my arms.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I feel her naked body under me and I look up, straight into her magnifying face I call mine.

I don’t know how that happened and I can’t believe I felt in love with her so fast, but here it is.

My heart is on a line.

My heart is connected to hers.

I lower my mouth and I kiss the valley of her breasts firmly, I’m kissing her whole body, even my lips are still swollen from our hours love making. As soon as we started we couldn’t stop to explorer each other, and we just stopped because sleep was claiming us, and I couldn’t think about something better than drifting of to sleep in her arms.

But now I’m wide awake and memories of the last few hours are capturing my mind. I can’t get enough of her. Even I tell myself she needs to sleep, I can’t stop touching her.

It’s like an addiction and so I’m lowering my mouth once again to touch her still wet place and I kiss her.

I kiss her with my lips so softly, and then strong, and fast, until I hear her moaning.

She’s awake, her hands are grabbing for my hair, pulling myself into her and I taste her.

I taste her a long time, quicken the pace, until I stop to tease her and I do it slowly, because it feels more intense.

“Arizona…” She’s moaning my name and I can’t stop myself now.

I bite down her clit and lick hard and fast to bring her over the edge. I take her there with my lips, my tongue and my fast growing love.

And when I’m squeezing her naked breasts her whole body is shaking uncontrollably and she screams. She screams my name out loud and I can’t help, but smile to myself.

God…I’m really falling in love with her more each passing moment.

And when I crawl up so I lie on top of her I kiss her tenderly.

Oh God… how much I love how she tastes.

And when I kiss her neck and her breast again there it is. Two words that made my heart ache in felicitousness. She’s my salvation.

I love you

I love you

I love you anyhow

And I don’t care

If you don’t want me

I’m your right now

You hear me

I put a spell on you

Cause you’re mine

“Te quiero… tanto…” Calliope whispers softly, and I guess she thinks I don’t understand, but somehow I know each of those words and they sound so familiar in my ears.

People would say it’s to fast, but I love her.

I love her so much, already.

She thinks I don’t understand, but I know what she says.

I know what she feels.
Because I feel the same.