fic: First Seasons (1/?)
Title: First Seasons (1/?)
Author: silver222
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Summary: How are Callie and Arizona spending their first Christmas and New Year as a couple? A different take on 6.10 Holidaze. Instead of Callie working on Christmas, she went to Miami to spend time with her family while Arizona struggles with the holiday season because of the loss of her brother.
Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use.
A/N: This is my first time posting a fanfic. I’ve finally decided to put to use those fic voices in my head and write out an actual story rather than just letting them continue their ramblings in my head.
Early December
“Hey, how was your day?” Callie asked coming around the breakfast bar to greet me as I walked into the apartment and dropped my bag and jacket on the nearest couch.
“Long day, very long day. I’m happy it’s over.” I sighed as I reached up and put my hands around her shoulders. “Better now though” as I leaned in for a kiss. It had been a long double shift in the ped’s ward - seven surgeries, countless admissions and I hadn’t seen Calliope all day which these days is a rarity. I pulled back from the kiss and wrapped my arms around her waist and rest my head in the crook of her neck as I feel the stresses from the day starting to evaporate. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in days. How are you?”
“Good….I talked to my dad earlier…”
I could feel Callie tense up beneath me. Although things were not completely where they were ‘pre women dating’, I knew that Callie and her dad were on speaking terms again and had resumed their Sunday calls. He seemed to finally accept his daughter and her decisions and from what Callie had told me, he may even possibly be accepting of us specifically. I still haven’t told her about the conversation I had with Mr. Torres last time he was here. And I’m pretty sure that he hasn’t told her either - at least not too many details.
“I thought everything was getting back on track with your dad?”
“It was..or is. He asked me to go back home to Miami for Christmas. Christmas has always been this big celebration in my family - but I haven’t been back in a few years because of my work schedule.”
I pull back from the comfort of her arms and see that there is more she wants to say. Her face is scrunched up and she’s having a really hard time looking me in the eyes. “So tell the chief you need a few days off and spend Christmas with your family.”
Callie finally looks up at me “I want you to come with me.”
“Callie…” I say with a tinge of regret and possibly fear and I know she knows that I don’t think this will be a good idea. Because as happy as I am that her family seems to be coming around to Callie, I don’t think they’re quite at that stage where they are ready for their daughter’s girlfriend to join them for Christmas which I’m assuming includes mass and countless other family celebrations. We hadn’t yet had the ‘whose family do we spend the holidays with’ discussion. Thanksgiving had been easy - with our work schedules, the subject hadn’t even really come up. We were having coffee and breakfast one morning in mid November with Mark, Lexie, Christina and Owen, and Callie had offered to host a small dinner after work on Thanksgiving.
“No, no wait. I know what you’re going to say. But my dad and I worked everything out. He’s ok with this. With us. And he asked if you would come. Plus my mom and sister really want to meet you.” Callie really was adorable when she rambled. “And it’s our first Christmas together”. Damn. And on top of that there was a slight hint of a pout forming on her lips.
“Calliope, I just don’t think that they are ready to have their daughter’s girlfriend around for the holidays. Plus I’m not really into a big celebration.”
Before I could react or explain any further, Callie had stepped out of my arms. “What?! First your birthday and now Christmas? What is with you and holidays that everyone else would love to have every day of the year?” Callie was pacing back and forth now as she struggled to understand how her perky bubbly girlfriend ignored the two days a year where Callie actually was perky and looked forward to the people and the parties and the presents.
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned my left hip against the breakfast bar as I watched Callie walk between me and the couch. I understood Callie’s initial reaction but it was time I let Callie in to the other side of my life. My life before Seattle, before Callie. “It’s just that since we lost my brother, my family just doesn’t make a big fuss. I sign up to work so that other people can be home with their families. I’ll call my mom and we’ll usually end up talking about whatever patients I took care of that day avoiding any mention of why we both know is the real reason I’m calling on that specific day and then I’ll come home, watch a movie which is usually a really cheesy romantic comedy, go to bed and wait for the next day to come.” I let out a breath and watch my fingers run along the cool granite of the counter. I realize I’m close to rambling but now that I started I just keep on going. “I know we’re avoiding but sometimes it’s just easier to look at a certain day the same as any other day. To fix other people’s problems rather than your own. Not to have to spend the day thinking about how if I was to go home, I’d have to look across at that empty chair and remember the person that had filled that chair for 24 years is no longer with us.”
Callie had stopped pacing the minute I had mentioned my brother. I haven’t brought him up since that day months ago when George was joining the army and I first told Callie about him. I could feel her dark brown eyes staring at me, almost willing me to look up at her but I was trying to hold back the tears that I could feel were threatening to spill and I was trying to swallow the knot in my throat that had started as I remembered the family holidays growing up. I really had thought I couldn’t shed any more tears over his death but then sometimes the unfairness of it all just hits me all over again.
Callie had that deer in the headlights look as she fumbled for what to say. “Oh. Arizona. I’m sorry, I didn’t think…I didn’t realize…” But Callie got it. She understood what I was saying. I know she does. That feeling that everything in your world was turned upside down and you just couldn’t imagine that you would ever emerge from this weight bearing down on you. That feeling that made you afraid to look to a time in the future where you could see yourself being happy. To a time when you could feel the joy of things and events that at one time meant the world to you. Because you just couldn’t seem to let go of the past no matter how hard you tried. You couldn’t seem to escape the quick sand that seemed to pull you back every time you started to move forward.
“No it’s fine. I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how or when to bring it up,” I said fumbling for words to let her know that I wasn’t upset with her. I looked up and saw the concern and love and understanding that laced her eyes. I could tell she didn’t know whether to pull me into her arms or let me have my space. I took a step towards her and looped my fingers around her belt loops and pulled my girlfriend back over to me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and I could feel her hands stroking my hair as she brought her lips to the side of my head and pressed two short sweet kisses into my hair.
Callie rubbed her hands up and down my back in a soothing motion as she whispered softly in my ear, “You know I don’t need to go to Miami this Christmas. Why don’t we do something together here in Seattle? Something low key?”
“No Calliope, go to Miami. Spend some time with your family. After everything you’ve gone through this year, I think you need that. And they do too.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone. I can take a trip down to Miami in January,” Callie protested.
“Hon, it’s fine. It’ll be just like any other year. You wouldn’t believe the number of kids that end up in the ER on Christmas.” Callie still didn’t look convinced and as much as I wanted to beg her to stay, to tell her that all I wanted was to stay in bed curled up next to the woman I loved, I knew how important family was to Callie. “But you need to be back for New Year’s. I don’t want to end up having to kiss Mark. Or Lexie. I want to ring in the New Year with you.” That got a small grin out of Callie and I chuckled as I looked up before bringing her lips to mine.
Later as Callie and I lay in bed, and I could feel her breathing tapering off, a sign that she was close to sleep, I started to think that maybe the holidays could be a time of joy again. I had found my partner, and even though we hadn’t officially talked about it, I know she’s my future and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. And Callie loves Christmas and birthdays and any other reason to celebrate. I want to do everything in my power to make her happy and I don’t doubt that Callie wants the same for me.
Before I knew it, the words were tumbling out of my mouth in the safety of the darkness. “I think that someday, it won’t be like this anymore. I’ll be the one stringing Christmas lights the day after Thanksgiving, and inviting everyone over for a big holiday dinner, and going overboard on presents for everyone I love. Or at least I hope that day comes. I want it to come. I’m just not there yet.”
My back is to her as I said this and I started to think that maybe she’s already asleep when I don’t hear any acknowledgement. But then I feel her arms pull me in tighter to her chest and her right hand intertwines with mine. I feel a kiss below my ear before she says in the softest sweetest voice, “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”
Christmas Day
I was sprawled out on the couch with my feet up on the table in the attending’s lounge catching up on some paperwork when my phone started ringing my Callie tune. She had already called me earlier this morning for my wake up call and I had promised to call her again after my shift. “Hey hon!” I eagerly answered because even after nine months of dating and talking to her four hours ago, I still get excited.
“This was a bad idea,” Callie muttered forgoing any type of greeting.
“What’s wrong?” My heart sank as my first fear was that maybe her dad and her family were not as accepting as they had led her to believe.
“I miss you. We haven’t spent more than two days apart in months and usually that was because we were at the hospital and we’d at least get to see each other there and I miss you. And everyone keeps asking about you so I have to keep talking about my amazing, beautiful, awesome, hot girlfriend and it just makes me miss you even more.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Please tell me you are not using hot to describe me to your grandmother.”
“Ha no, that was my grandmother’s description when I showed her the picture of you,” Callie said with a smirk.
“I miss you too Calliope. Can you talk to me for awhile? Tell me about your family.” So Callie told me about how her sister had showed up with a new boyfriend that was getting endlessly questioned by her family which served to keep most of the attention off of Callie. How her mom was spending days and hours in the kitchen making more food than could be consumed by the family in a week and when Callie kept telling her this, her mom just told her she could take the leftovers home because she knows Callie doesn’t cook enough with the schedule demands of being a surgeon and dating a fellow surgeon is sure not going to help. And how her Uncle Berto seemed to give Callie a wink whenever she started talking about Arizona that Callie couldn’t figure out whether it was in solidarity of her being gay or if he had some weird fascination with Arizona. And then how her little cousins from Boston couldn’t quite grasp the concept of Christmas without the cold and snow and kept asking how Santa was going to land his sleigh.
And as Callie went on about her crazy but loved family, I started to think maybe I was ready for the holidays again. Because all I kept imagining as Callie went on about her mom and sister and crazy uncle and various cousins, was a little girl with Callie’s gorgeous dark hair and a little boy with piercing blue eyes as everyone sat around the Christmas tree tearing into presents and there was an abundance of laughter and smiles. I wanted to build those memories that were so rampant in my head from my own childhood with a family of my own. And I wanted to build that with Callie.
“Hey Calliope?“ I interrupted as Callie started in on another story about the family re-enacting the scene from the nativity that I’ll have to remember to ask her about later.
“Derek invited me over to his and Meredith’s place for a holiday dinner tonight. They’re having a bunch of folks from the hospital that are still in town over. I think Mark and Lexie were headed over there as well. I think I’m going to go.” I’m not really sure when I decided to accept Derek’s invite. He had told me about it yesterday as we worked on a patient together and at the time I had declined.
“Yeah? That sounds like fun,” Callie responded. “I thought you were going to go home to order in and watch a movie?”
“Yeah that was the plan. But it’s been four years Calliope. I can’t keep my life on hold, I don’t want to keep it on hold. And he wouldn’t want that. Maybe it made sense at first when the grief was so fresh but then I just never really changed because there wasn’t any reason to change. The first couple of years I was still living close to my parents and they weren’t ready to continue any holiday traditions and then I moved up to Seattle. My extended family is on the other side of the country and if I happened to be dating someone around the holidays it never seemed to be too serious. But things are different now and I’m different, my life is different. So I want to start some new traditions. New traditions with you. Maybe next year, we can buy some Christmas lights to hang together? And have our families come out to Seattle?”
There was silence for a good twenty seconds during which I wasn’t sure whether Callie was still on the phone or whether I had maybe assumed too much and finally pushed Callie too far into commitment territory. But then Callie seemed to find her voice and I could tell that she was grinning on the other side of the phone. “Anything for you baby. I love you.” I could hear someone calling Callie in the background. “I’ve got to head out for mass. Call me later when you get home?”
“Absolutely. Make sure you tell your family I wish them a merry Christmas.” I flipped my phone shut and hugged it to my chest. I’m going to Derek and Meredith’s holiday dinner. Ok, I can do this. It’s a dinner with co-workers and friends that I spend the better portion of almost every day with, it’ll just be a little more festive. I take a deep breath as I gather up my paperwork and charts. No time like the present to go find Derek and let him know to set a place for me after all.
Author: silver222
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Summary: How are Callie and Arizona spending their first Christmas and New Year as a couple? A different take on 6.10 Holidaze. Instead of Callie working on Christmas, she went to Miami to spend time with her family while Arizona struggles with the holiday season because of the loss of her brother.
Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use.
A/N: This is my first time posting a fanfic. I’ve finally decided to put to use those fic voices in my head and write out an actual story rather than just letting them continue their ramblings in my head.
Early December
“Hey, how was your day?” Callie asked coming around the breakfast bar to greet me as I walked into the apartment and dropped my bag and jacket on the nearest couch.
“Long day, very long day. I’m happy it’s over.” I sighed as I reached up and put my hands around her shoulders. “Better now though” as I leaned in for a kiss. It had been a long double shift in the ped’s ward - seven surgeries, countless admissions and I hadn’t seen Calliope all day which these days is a rarity. I pulled back from the kiss and wrapped my arms around her waist and rest my head in the crook of her neck as I feel the stresses from the day starting to evaporate. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in days. How are you?”
“Good….I talked to my dad earlier…”
I could feel Callie tense up beneath me. Although things were not completely where they were ‘pre women dating’, I knew that Callie and her dad were on speaking terms again and had resumed their Sunday calls. He seemed to finally accept his daughter and her decisions and from what Callie had told me, he may even possibly be accepting of us specifically. I still haven’t told her about the conversation I had with Mr. Torres last time he was here. And I’m pretty sure that he hasn’t told her either - at least not too many details.
“I thought everything was getting back on track with your dad?”
“It was..or is. He asked me to go back home to Miami for Christmas. Christmas has always been this big celebration in my family - but I haven’t been back in a few years because of my work schedule.”
I pull back from the comfort of her arms and see that there is more she wants to say. Her face is scrunched up and she’s having a really hard time looking me in the eyes. “So tell the chief you need a few days off and spend Christmas with your family.”
Callie finally looks up at me “I want you to come with me.”
“Callie…” I say with a tinge of regret and possibly fear and I know she knows that I don’t think this will be a good idea. Because as happy as I am that her family seems to be coming around to Callie, I don’t think they’re quite at that stage where they are ready for their daughter’s girlfriend to join them for Christmas which I’m assuming includes mass and countless other family celebrations. We hadn’t yet had the ‘whose family do we spend the holidays with’ discussion. Thanksgiving had been easy - with our work schedules, the subject hadn’t even really come up. We were having coffee and breakfast one morning in mid November with Mark, Lexie, Christina and Owen, and Callie had offered to host a small dinner after work on Thanksgiving.
“No, no wait. I know what you’re going to say. But my dad and I worked everything out. He’s ok with this. With us. And he asked if you would come. Plus my mom and sister really want to meet you.” Callie really was adorable when she rambled. “And it’s our first Christmas together”. Damn. And on top of that there was a slight hint of a pout forming on her lips.
“Calliope, I just don’t think that they are ready to have their daughter’s girlfriend around for the holidays. Plus I’m not really into a big celebration.”
Before I could react or explain any further, Callie had stepped out of my arms. “What?! First your birthday and now Christmas? What is with you and holidays that everyone else would love to have every day of the year?” Callie was pacing back and forth now as she struggled to understand how her perky bubbly girlfriend ignored the two days a year where Callie actually was perky and looked forward to the people and the parties and the presents.
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned my left hip against the breakfast bar as I watched Callie walk between me and the couch. I understood Callie’s initial reaction but it was time I let Callie in to the other side of my life. My life before Seattle, before Callie. “It’s just that since we lost my brother, my family just doesn’t make a big fuss. I sign up to work so that other people can be home with their families. I’ll call my mom and we’ll usually end up talking about whatever patients I took care of that day avoiding any mention of why we both know is the real reason I’m calling on that specific day and then I’ll come home, watch a movie which is usually a really cheesy romantic comedy, go to bed and wait for the next day to come.” I let out a breath and watch my fingers run along the cool granite of the counter. I realize I’m close to rambling but now that I started I just keep on going. “I know we’re avoiding but sometimes it’s just easier to look at a certain day the same as any other day. To fix other people’s problems rather than your own. Not to have to spend the day thinking about how if I was to go home, I’d have to look across at that empty chair and remember the person that had filled that chair for 24 years is no longer with us.”
Callie had stopped pacing the minute I had mentioned my brother. I haven’t brought him up since that day months ago when George was joining the army and I first told Callie about him. I could feel her dark brown eyes staring at me, almost willing me to look up at her but I was trying to hold back the tears that I could feel were threatening to spill and I was trying to swallow the knot in my throat that had started as I remembered the family holidays growing up. I really had thought I couldn’t shed any more tears over his death but then sometimes the unfairness of it all just hits me all over again.
Callie had that deer in the headlights look as she fumbled for what to say. “Oh. Arizona. I’m sorry, I didn’t think…I didn’t realize…” But Callie got it. She understood what I was saying. I know she does. That feeling that everything in your world was turned upside down and you just couldn’t imagine that you would ever emerge from this weight bearing down on you. That feeling that made you afraid to look to a time in the future where you could see yourself being happy. To a time when you could feel the joy of things and events that at one time meant the world to you. Because you just couldn’t seem to let go of the past no matter how hard you tried. You couldn’t seem to escape the quick sand that seemed to pull you back every time you started to move forward.
“No it’s fine. I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how or when to bring it up,” I said fumbling for words to let her know that I wasn’t upset with her. I looked up and saw the concern and love and understanding that laced her eyes. I could tell she didn’t know whether to pull me into her arms or let me have my space. I took a step towards her and looped my fingers around her belt loops and pulled my girlfriend back over to me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and I could feel her hands stroking my hair as she brought her lips to the side of my head and pressed two short sweet kisses into my hair.
Callie rubbed her hands up and down my back in a soothing motion as she whispered softly in my ear, “You know I don’t need to go to Miami this Christmas. Why don’t we do something together here in Seattle? Something low key?”
“No Calliope, go to Miami. Spend some time with your family. After everything you’ve gone through this year, I think you need that. And they do too.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone. I can take a trip down to Miami in January,” Callie protested.
“Hon, it’s fine. It’ll be just like any other year. You wouldn’t believe the number of kids that end up in the ER on Christmas.” Callie still didn’t look convinced and as much as I wanted to beg her to stay, to tell her that all I wanted was to stay in bed curled up next to the woman I loved, I knew how important family was to Callie. “But you need to be back for New Year’s. I don’t want to end up having to kiss Mark. Or Lexie. I want to ring in the New Year with you.” That got a small grin out of Callie and I chuckled as I looked up before bringing her lips to mine.
Later as Callie and I lay in bed, and I could feel her breathing tapering off, a sign that she was close to sleep, I started to think that maybe the holidays could be a time of joy again. I had found my partner, and even though we hadn’t officially talked about it, I know she’s my future and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. And Callie loves Christmas and birthdays and any other reason to celebrate. I want to do everything in my power to make her happy and I don’t doubt that Callie wants the same for me.
Before I knew it, the words were tumbling out of my mouth in the safety of the darkness. “I think that someday, it won’t be like this anymore. I’ll be the one stringing Christmas lights the day after Thanksgiving, and inviting everyone over for a big holiday dinner, and going overboard on presents for everyone I love. Or at least I hope that day comes. I want it to come. I’m just not there yet.”
My back is to her as I said this and I started to think that maybe she’s already asleep when I don’t hear any acknowledgement. But then I feel her arms pull me in tighter to her chest and her right hand intertwines with mine. I feel a kiss below my ear before she says in the softest sweetest voice, “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”
Christmas Day
I was sprawled out on the couch with my feet up on the table in the attending’s lounge catching up on some paperwork when my phone started ringing my Callie tune. She had already called me earlier this morning for my wake up call and I had promised to call her again after my shift. “Hey hon!” I eagerly answered because even after nine months of dating and talking to her four hours ago, I still get excited.
“This was a bad idea,” Callie muttered forgoing any type of greeting.
“What’s wrong?” My heart sank as my first fear was that maybe her dad and her family were not as accepting as they had led her to believe.
“I miss you. We haven’t spent more than two days apart in months and usually that was because we were at the hospital and we’d at least get to see each other there and I miss you. And everyone keeps asking about you so I have to keep talking about my amazing, beautiful, awesome, hot girlfriend and it just makes me miss you even more.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Please tell me you are not using hot to describe me to your grandmother.”
“Ha no, that was my grandmother’s description when I showed her the picture of you,” Callie said with a smirk.
“I miss you too Calliope. Can you talk to me for awhile? Tell me about your family.” So Callie told me about how her sister had showed up with a new boyfriend that was getting endlessly questioned by her family which served to keep most of the attention off of Callie. How her mom was spending days and hours in the kitchen making more food than could be consumed by the family in a week and when Callie kept telling her this, her mom just told her she could take the leftovers home because she knows Callie doesn’t cook enough with the schedule demands of being a surgeon and dating a fellow surgeon is sure not going to help. And how her Uncle Berto seemed to give Callie a wink whenever she started talking about Arizona that Callie couldn’t figure out whether it was in solidarity of her being gay or if he had some weird fascination with Arizona. And then how her little cousins from Boston couldn’t quite grasp the concept of Christmas without the cold and snow and kept asking how Santa was going to land his sleigh.
And as Callie went on about her crazy but loved family, I started to think maybe I was ready for the holidays again. Because all I kept imagining as Callie went on about her mom and sister and crazy uncle and various cousins, was a little girl with Callie’s gorgeous dark hair and a little boy with piercing blue eyes as everyone sat around the Christmas tree tearing into presents and there was an abundance of laughter and smiles. I wanted to build those memories that were so rampant in my head from my own childhood with a family of my own. And I wanted to build that with Callie.
“Hey Calliope?“ I interrupted as Callie started in on another story about the family re-enacting the scene from the nativity that I’ll have to remember to ask her about later.
“Derek invited me over to his and Meredith’s place for a holiday dinner tonight. They’re having a bunch of folks from the hospital that are still in town over. I think Mark and Lexie were headed over there as well. I think I’m going to go.” I’m not really sure when I decided to accept Derek’s invite. He had told me about it yesterday as we worked on a patient together and at the time I had declined.
“Yeah? That sounds like fun,” Callie responded. “I thought you were going to go home to order in and watch a movie?”
“Yeah that was the plan. But it’s been four years Calliope. I can’t keep my life on hold, I don’t want to keep it on hold. And he wouldn’t want that. Maybe it made sense at first when the grief was so fresh but then I just never really changed because there wasn’t any reason to change. The first couple of years I was still living close to my parents and they weren’t ready to continue any holiday traditions and then I moved up to Seattle. My extended family is on the other side of the country and if I happened to be dating someone around the holidays it never seemed to be too serious. But things are different now and I’m different, my life is different. So I want to start some new traditions. New traditions with you. Maybe next year, we can buy some Christmas lights to hang together? And have our families come out to Seattle?”
There was silence for a good twenty seconds during which I wasn’t sure whether Callie was still on the phone or whether I had maybe assumed too much and finally pushed Callie too far into commitment territory. But then Callie seemed to find her voice and I could tell that she was grinning on the other side of the phone. “Anything for you baby. I love you.” I could hear someone calling Callie in the background. “I’ve got to head out for mass. Call me later when you get home?”
“Absolutely. Make sure you tell your family I wish them a merry Christmas.” I flipped my phone shut and hugged it to my chest. I’m going to Derek and Meredith’s holiday dinner. Ok, I can do this. It’s a dinner with co-workers and friends that I spend the better portion of almost every day with, it’ll just be a little more festive. I take a deep breath as I gather up my paperwork and charts. No time like the present to go find Derek and let him know to set a place for me after all.