Dallas Anyone? An Elevator Retake Scene
Title: Dallas Anyone? An Elevator Retake Scene
Author: nerdgirlwalking
Pairing: Callie/Arizona mentions of Callie/Mark, Mark/Lexie, Teddy/that guy from Felicity and Bailey/the hot nurse
Rating: PG13 for some language
Summary: Things in the elevator are so not right…
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use.
Authors Note: Playing around for the community challenge. Everyone’s entries so far have been so serious and angst-y and hopeful and wonderful this one’s…well, not any of those things. So if you’re in the mood for something a little different…Slightly bitter, silly, completely unrealistic shenanigans and slight man whore abuse ahead. I’m turning my fandom frown upside down.
Arizona ran towards the closing elevator as hard as she could without looking too crazy. Slipping in just before the doors shut she turned towards the other occupant. Calliope was as beautiful as ever, even if Arizona could tell that she was more than slightly annoyed to be confined in such a small space with her.
Taking a breath to center herself she noted the soft music filling the elevator. Some indie rock guy was signing about going to London or the girl that got away or something. Arizona wondered yet again who at the hospital programmed the elevator music. It always seemed to be broody emo bands or Brandi Carlile. Why was that? And how did someone get that job? Hearing Callie sigh, Arizona shifted her attention back to the reason why she was in the elevator in the first place.
Callie looked over at her. Arizona took one last second to psych herself up. This is it Robbins. Time for your big speech. Make it good. “I bail okay when things get hard…” I what? That was not even what she meant to say. Somehow her mouth kept moving without her input. Army brat, what? My father is a Marine. What the hell am I saying? Arizona was there, she could hear her voice but it was like someone else’s words were coming out of her mouth.
But out of character for her or not, it seemed to be working. After a bit more rambling, Callie finally turned towards her. “You want another chance?” Callie asked.
“Yes, more than anything I want another chance,” she answered. And then Calliope, her wonderful, beautiful Calliope had to go and say the most hurtful thing Arizona had ever heard in her life. Pregnant…Mark…what?
“How about now?” Callie asked.
She stood there for a moment, her mouth hanging open while the elevator doors opened and clanged shut again. Arizona shook her head. “I’m sorry; I thought you just said that you’re pregnant with Mark Sloan’s baby.”
“I did. I am. Great news right? So are you going to stick around and be mommy number two or what?”
“What?”
The elevator doors opened to reveal the sperm donor himself. Mark smiled wide and stepped into the elevator. “Blondie! Did Torres tell you the good news?”
“She told me news, wouldn’t call it good.”
“Come on its great news. The three of us raising a baby, oh and Lexie of course, just think about it. What a wonderful, exciting journey this is going to be. We’re like the definition of a modern family. I mean you already feel like I’m family, said it yourself in the OR earlier. This just cements it.”
Arizona wanted to cement something alright. A brick into Mark’s face for starters. “That was sarcasm Mark. I, I…” Her ears were ringing.
The doors opened once again and Teddy Altman stepped into the elevator. She raised an eyebrow at the three of them. “Ah you told her about the baby huh?” She asked Callie.
“Yup.”
Teddy nodded. “So have you noticed that my husband looks like that guy from Felicity?”
Callie squealed, “I totally thought that when I saw you two in the cafeteria the other day.”
“Do you think I should perm my hair?” Teddy asked twirling a strand of said hair around her finger. “Felicity had curly hair. Do I have the bone structure for curly hair?”
The lights in the elevator seemed to flicker and dim. “Forget your damn hair Teddy. Calliope you said you’re pregnant, the baby. What about the baby?” Arizona asked. She shook her head. Has everyone gone crazy?
“He’s going to look like me of course!” Mark smiled. “Gonna be a real lady killer just like his old man.”
There was a ding which brought back the ringing in Arizona’s ear and then Miranda Bailey was standing next to her. “I’m sleeping with a hot nurse.” She cried before anyone could say anything. “A hot, hot nurse. We just did dirty, dirty things in an on call room. I’m officially part of the club now! High five?” She held up her hand, which Mark slapped.
“Nice!”
“So did you guys tell Robbins about the baby?”
“Wait how did you know?”
“I’m Bailey. I know everything. Including fifty ways to make hot, hot nurses holla in on call rooms!”
This was all making Arizona’s head hurt. Dizzy, I feel dizzy. “Arizona.” She heard Callie call her name but her voice seemed far away all of the sudden. Maybe if I just close my eyes everything will make sense again…
“Arizona, Arizona. Baby open your eyes for me. Come on that’s it.” Calliope’s worried and upside down face swam into view.
“Calliope?” How did I get on the floor? Arizona’s eyes darted around. Wait, how did I get on the floor in the middle of peds?
“Thank God! Arizona you scared the crap out of me!”
“I- what happened? How did I get out here?” She struggled to sit up. Callie put her arm around Arizona’s waist helping her to sit up and tucked her into her side.
“You don’t remember?” She heard Bailey’s voice just to her left.
“I was in the elevator.” She looked at Callie. “And you were there,” she looked over at Bailey. “And you and Teddy was too…” she saw Mark kneeling by her feet. “You were…” Suddenly she pulled her right leg up towards her chest and then slammed her foot into Mark’s groin as hard as she could.
Mark shrieked and fell over clutching his crotch. “Why?” he managed to choke out.
“That’s what you get for knocking up my girlfriend you dumb bastard!” Arizona replied, shifting away from Callie’s side and beginning to move forward with purpose. Callie and Bailey each had to grab her to keep Arizona from lunging after Mark again.
“Woah, knocked up who to the what now?” Callie sputtered. She looked over her shoulder at Alex Karev, who was standing just behind them. “Go call neuro now. I think she hit her head harder than we all thought. Tell them to prep for a CT and get Shepherd’s ass down here stat!”
“Arizona, Arizona! Listen to me. You fell and hit your head. I don’t know what you think you saw but I promise you that I am not pregnant.”
“I think I felt something pop.” She heard Mark groan in the background.
“But, but the elevator I was apologizing for leaving. I asked you for another chance then you said… and wait your hair’s long again.”
“Arizona, I haven’t had short hair in years, definitely not since we’ve known each other. And unless my watch is broken you only left the cafeteria fifteen minutes ago so it would be pathetically clingy for me to want an apology for that. You forgot your phone. I took the stairs to come up here and bring it to you and when I came around the corner I saw you take a header into the nurses’ station. I think they just waxed the floor and those dumb shoes of yours sent you flying.” She carefully ran her hands over Arizona’s skull trying to find any possible signs of a fracture. “It’s going to be okay. Derek will be here any moment and we’ll fix you right up.”
“No that’s not what happened. We were in the elevator. I was apologizing for going to Africa. Africa, I left you in the airport. We broke up, it was terrible. But then I came back, I came back for you but you were so angry. And you apparently slept with Mark.” She glanced over at Bailey. “We were on the elevator. And Miranda, you told us that you were doing dirty things with nurses in on-call rooms.”
Callie looked at Bailey her eyes wide. “Arizona, baby I don’t know what you’re talking about. We weren’t in the elevator. I took the stairs and Bailey was already on the floor in Adam Banks’ room.”
“I seriously think one popped.” Mark moaned louder.
“What’s taking Shepherd so long?” Bailey barked. “And someone get Dr. Sloan a bag of ice so he’ll shut the hell up.”
“You’re not pregnant?”
Callie shook her head.
“And we’re not broken up?”
“Last time I checked I’d say we were very much together and deliriously happy.”
“Oh thank God.” Arizona sighed with relief, and then winced when the pain from her head finally registered. “Oww! I think my brain’s scrambled.”
“Flying head first into a desk will do that to you.” Derek replied having finally arrived. He quickly administered a brief neuro exam. “Let’s get Dr. Robbins up into that wheel chair and then go get that CT scan shall we?”
“Calliope?” Arizona whispered as she was being settled into the chair.
“Yeah?”
“I really love you. I promise I’ll never leave you standing in an airport!”
Callie looked puzzled but smiled and leaned in to give Arizona a brief kiss. “I love you too. Now, maybe you’ll listen to me when I tell you that those wheelie sneaks are dangerous.”
“But I love my shoes almost as much as I love you.” Arizona whined.
“We’ll talk about it later. For now lets get you that scan okay?” The group loaded on to the elevator.
Mark, who was still lying on the floor grabbing his crotch, called after them, “Hey, little help. Guys? Seriously? Help…”