Hard Landing(3/4)
Pairing: Calzona
Rating: T
Category: Hurt/Comfort; fluff, light-angst; MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH referenced
Disclaimers: I make no profit from this little venture. All the bad-assery that is Grey’s Anatomy and its characters belongs to Shondaland and ABC.
Spoilers: This is bound to be one of MANY post-“Flight,” fics to be posted during the hiatus. If you don’t want to be spoiled for the finale, come back later when you do ;)
Summary: Set three months after the crash and part two. Arizona’s journey back continues. She’s in physical therapy.
The song lyrics are taken from the awesome No One Said it Would be Easy, by Cloud Cult
A/N: Special thanks to Julie_hacking and 55angel55 for the beta. Thank you for reading! Reviews are love.
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Hard Landing: Everything You Need is Here
And everything you need is here
Everything you fear is here
And it's holding you up
It just keeps holding you up
Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital
2,160 hours after the crash
The sweat ran down Arizona’s face as she strained against the parallel bars. After her breakthrough first step a week ago, she had become more determined than ever. She resisted the urge to wipe off an offending bead as it dangled off her eyelash; keeping her eye on the prize. Today she would walk.
“That’s it, Arizona. Easy does it.” Arizona let the sounds of the lilting alto in her ear embolden her resolve. The steadying hand on her back allowed her to angle her spine straighter. She gripped the bars tighter and fixed her eyes to a CPR sign posted on the far wall. Carefully she lifted her right foot, trying not to collapse with the pain and stiffness still present in her muscles. The bones had stopped aching as much, but her muscles protested the physical challenges louder than ever now. Months of disuse and healing had taken their toll. Arizona set her foot down and shifted her weight. She was pleased when her left leg held her in balance. Both her thigh and knee sang out in pain, but Arizona bit her lip against the sharp pangs spreading through her. Don’t give up. Don’t give up. The movement is good. You can do this, she chanted in her head over and over. As she put more of her full weight down upon her leg, she smiled in pride at how her knee held. Though it hurt, it felt strong. Arizona felt her heart radiate heat straight to her limbs as she thought about the reason both her knee and her thigh felt so strong. Orthogod magic.
The brunette stood next to her and beamed in pride at her progress. “You’re doing it, Arizona. You’re walking!”
Arizona kept herself focused and made four more steps in quicker succession. She smiled when she reached the center of the bars and moved to rest the majority of her weight back to her arms. She felt pride well up inside of her as she turned her head to look into the eyes of the woman next to her.
“I did it! Arizona beamed in awe.
“You did!” The woman repeated back to her. “You walked, Arizona.” The two shared a moment of eye contact, amazement reflected in both faces.
At that moment, Callie came cruising around the open door of the PT room, just in time to catch the tail end of Arizona’s moment of triumph.
Her eyes widened at the sight of Arizona and Dr. James standing at the parallel bars, knowing she’d missed something significant. “Arizona!” she exclaimed reaching her hands out to indicate her wife’s standing position at the bars. “You did it?” she said the excitement clear in her voice.
Arizona’s already bright smile, beamed brighter at the sight of her wife. “I did it, Calliope, I made six steps.”
“Omigod, and I missed it?” Callie exclaimed, walking directly to Arizona. “I thought you weren’t going to work the bars until later!” Callie was excited but quickly turned a little confused as her gaze flickered between her wife and Dr. James.
“Alyssa was ready to start early, so we got going.” Arizona explained, the recent exertion making her voice breathy.
“She was eager, and I had the time so we went for it,” echoed Dr. Alyssa James, Arizona’s physical therapist.
Callie came around to assist Arizona as she eased her way out from the bars. Arizona gratefully took her hand. Dr. James backed up a little to give the couple some room to maneuver and walked a chair over toward them.
Arizona eased herself down into the chair, and Callie stayed at her side tucking a strand of Arizona’s hair behind her ear. She let her fingers linger for a moment, before dropping her hand.
“That’s really great, babe.” Callie said, a minor deflation in her tone conveying the disappointment she felt at missing Arizona’s first real steps.
“Yeah,” Arizona answered with a smile and shifted her gaze to Dr. James. “Alyssa has been amazing. She pushed me just enough today, and it worked.”
“Oh, I can’t take all the credit,” Dr. James said, “You are quite the motivated patient, Dr. Robbins.” Alyssa flashed a smile at Arizona. One that Arizona whole-heartedly returned dimples and all.
“Well your powers of persuasion are a force to be reckoned with, Dr. James.”
“So are yours.” Alyssa answered. They both laughed.
“Team effort then.” Arizona answered.
“Definitely.” Alyssa replied.
Callie watched the exchange with a mix of amusement and annoyance as her eyes volleyed between her wife and the physical therapist. She narrowed her eyes a bit and lightly cleared her throat.
Dr. James broke her eye contact with Arizona, and addressed Callie. “Arizona made some really significant progress today. You should be very proud of your wife.”
“Oh, I am.” Callie said, setting her hand protectively on Arizona’s upper back, before smiling sweetly at Dr. James.
“She thinks I might be able to walk the length of the bars by the end of the week.” Arizona said proudly. “Soon I’ll be catching up to Sofia.”
“That’s amazing, Arizona.” Callie said and smiled at her. “I’m so proud of you.”
Arizona nodded. “Thanks. I’m really proud of me too.”
“You should be.” Callie said affectionately, and they gazed at each other for a few moments.
“Well.” Dr. James broke in. “I think we’re done for today, Arizona, so I’m going to head out. But feel free to keep stretching or using the rollers, okay?”
Arizona nodded. Dr. James turned to Callie. “Don’t let her over do it.”
“Yes ma’am.” Callie answered, and smiled.
“Dr. Torres,” Dr. James said, extending her hand to Callie, “a pleasure as always. And you,” she said directing her attention to Arizona again. “I’ll see you next week, Superstar.”
Arizona laughed, and Dr. James departed with a small wave to both of them. Callie tracked the retreating doctor with her eyes, a look of disdain on her features. She moved to stand in front of Arizona, crossing her arms before looking directly down at her wife.
“Wanna tell me what that was all about?” Callie asked.
‘What?” Arizona replied innocently.
“Don’t ‘what’ me Arizona,” Callie answered. “That was full-on Arizona Robbins charm back there. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were flirting with her.”
“What?” Arizona said again, “Callie, that’s ridiculous.”
“You were so flirting!” Callie remarked. “‘Your powers of persuasion are a force to be reckoned with, Doctor James.’ Callie mimicked in a high pitched version of Arizona’s voice. “’So are yours, Dr. Robbins,” Callie continued, dropping her voice an octave to mimic the alto of Dr. James.
Arizona smirked at Callie’s reenactment and shook her head. “Okay maybe I was flirting a little.”
Callie let out a sigh, and pulled up another chair to sit directly across from Arizona. Her eyes found Arizona’s, and she gave her a pointed look.
“What?” Arizona said dejectedly. “It felt good to flirt!”
Callie cocked her head to side and pursed her lips. “Mm hm,” her look clearly communicated that she knew flirting wasn’t the extent of it.
Arizona huffed out a breath. “She’s nice, Callie, and she believes in me.”
Callie frowned, taken aback. “I believe in you.”
Arizona nodded. “I know. But this is different.”
“How is it different?” Callie pleaded. “I mean, tell me, please. Because I am your wife and I think I have been pretty damn supportive.” Callie said, defensiveness lacing her tone.
Arizona grabbed Callie’s hand. “Yes. You have been so supportive. You’ve been amazing, and understanding, and loving and wonderful and awesome.”
Callie cocked an eyebrow at her. “Do I hear a ‘but’?”
“Not a ‘but.’ An ‘and.’” Arizona hesitated. “I… I am so incredibly grateful for you.” Arizona gave Callie a quick nod, tears welling in her eyes. She blinked them back and continued. “But, here comes the ‘but.’” She let out a sigh. “I feel like hell, Calliope. Most of the time, I feel really, really awful. I hurt, I am in pain, I feel helpless, I feel worthless, and I feel… ugly.”
Callie’s heart clenched at her words. She squeezed Arizona’s hand urging her to continue. Arizona took a deep breath, “I am lost right now, Callie. I am so, so lost. My body aches…all the time. Before the crash I hardly ever got a headache let alone full body aches.” Arizona sniffled. “I can’t walk, I can’t pick up our daughter, or help her get dressed or play with her on the floor like I used to. It hurts to carry her. I just want to carry my baby again.”
“Arizona…”
“No. Wait. Let me finish.”
Callie clamped her jaw shut and waited for Arizona to go on. “And you, Calliope. I can’t help feeling like the worst partner right now. I can’t help you the way you need me to. I am so dependent on you, and you can’t depend on me. I feel like a burden.” Arizona gripped Callie’s hand again even tighter. “I can’t hold you too long without it becoming painful. I can’t make love with you because it hurts, and I hate that. I hate it so much. I miss you. I miss us, Calliope.” Arizona was openly crying now.
Callie had to bite her lip to keep from saying anything, lest Arizona wanted to continue. Instead, she grabbed Arizona’s other hand and held on.
“Then there’s work, Callie. My work? Not being a doctor? It’s killing me. Sure, I get to case conference with Alex, and consult with the other attendings, but I miss surgery. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve held a scalpel?
“Three months two weeks and six days.” Callie answered.
Arizona laughed. “That was rhetorical, but I’m charmed that you know that.”
Callie smiled, and gently wiped away some of Arizona’s tears with her thumb.
Arizona continued, “I miss being me. This injured person?” She pointed to herself. “This helpless, whiny, never-ending-pain-machine, that can’t walk? That’s not me. It’s not me.”
“I know it’s not you, honey. I know.” Callie interjected. Arizona lifted her hand up to silence her.
“And for some reason Callie, some crazy reason. Dr. ‘Hottie Pants’ James, with her confidence, her flirting, and her perkiness, makes me remember who I am. For four hours a week, she makes me forget the injured, helpless Arizona, and helps me remember me. It sounds so… so silly, I know.”
Callie shook her head and brushed her thumbs over Arizona’s knuckles. “It’s not silly. It makes perfect sense.”
Arizona breathed a sigh of relief and flashed Callie a broken smile.
Callie smiled back, continuing to rub her hands. “Are you finished?” Callie asked. Arizona nodded.
“Can I talk now?” Arizona nodded again.
“Okay, let’s get a few things straight.” Callie held up one finger. “Number 1. You, Dr. Arizona Robbins, are a kick-ass Peds surgeon, scalpel or no scalpel. You are an irreplaceable goddess, and yet somehow you’ve managed to train Karev, Alex Karev, of all people to be so much like you that Peds is actually surviving without you.”
Arizona gave her a disappointed look, and Callie responded. “That hurts, I know. But I said, ‘surviving.’ Not thriving. You’ll be in there kicking Karev’s crapdog ass again sooner than you think, and you’ll be back to making that department the nationally renowned life-saving operation it always is with you leading the way.”
Callie raised a second finger to join the first and took a breath. “Number 2: You are an amazing mother. Our daughter lights up whenever you’re in the room with her, let alone when you play with her. Does she miss her playful Mama? Maybe, but she has you, Arizona. You survived. She just loves being with you, and there are plenty of other ways to play without walking. We’ll…we’ll make a bed fort! We’ll all lie around in a big pile of pillows and eat pizza and watch movies. And in a couple of years, when Sofia is old enough, you’ll both be making me crazy cruising around and doing tricks in matching heelies.”
Arizona smiled broadly at that image, and Callie continued.
“Number 3: You are…” Callie had to pause, and swallow hard against the lump in her throat. “…an incredible wife.” Callie scooted her chair close enough to Arizona’s so that their knees were touching, mindful of Arizona’s left leg. “You are my partner in every sense of the word. You thrill me and satisfy me, and make me a better person every day of my life. You could never be a burden. You are my rock and my sunshine, and you are the sexiest, hottest, most beautiful woman in the world. Tu eres mi vida. You are everything to me, do you hear me? Everything.”
Arizona nodded vigorously, smiling through her tears. “I hear you.” She whispered.
“Good.” Callie gave her a full-watt smile before leaning in and capturing Arizona’s lips with her own.
Arizona brought her hands up to cup Callie’s cheeks, and melted into the kiss. Callie’s hands slid into Arizona’s hair and held her. Arizona opened her mouth wider, and felt Callie sweep her bottom lip with her tongue before sucking it into her mouth.
Arizona moaned into the kiss, and held Callie closer. “I love you so much,” she murmured into Callie’s mouth.
“I love you, too.” Callie replied. She brushed her lips against Arizona’s a few more times, before breaking apart just enough to nuzzle her nose. “Whattya say we get out of here and I can show you exactly how amazing you are.”
Arizona giggled and kissed Callie again.
“That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all day.”
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A/N: Before you throw bricks at Dr. James, picture the beautiful face of Erin Daniels. There, that’s better, right?