(no subject)
Title: You and me? Maybe (6)
Author: Suedette
Pairing: Cake
Rating: Nc-17? kinda.
Disclaimer: Don't own any of them, just for fun.
Notes: a lil angst for this crazzzzy nyc weather :(
You and me? Maybe (6)
(6)
Blake cried. His hands couldn’t break away from the Guitar Hero game, like he was programmed to just keep playing. But he cried, burned by the warmth of tears he hasn’t felt for the longest time.
It was like the train was doomed to crash, but now looking back, the warning signs were screaming along the way, but they were too busy falling for each other to notice.
**
Blake studied Chris’ body, warm, muscular, proportional, with a few freckles here and there, dry skin on his elbows, a small birthmark on the chest, and a temperament of uncertainty, of locked and unexplored desires. Chris’ face was less muscular, a hint of prettiness, with feminine colors, baby green, pink, ash brown and some precious amber.
Chris was very handsome, and Chris needed people to constantly remind him to even believe just a little. So Chris was also very modest and kind. Handsome, modest and kind. Chris was perfect for Blake.
“Where did you go…?” Chris opened his eyes, a little disappointed when Blake’s kisses had disappeared from his body, and caught the man staring at him.
Blake smiled, a little more focused, naughtiness written all over his allegedly innocent face.
“What?” Chris was just about to sit up. Blake pushed him down back onto the bed.
“I’m going to do some things to you.” Blake whispered into Chris’ ear. “It may be kinda strange at first, but…” Their eyes met, hot breaths exchanged, body silently vibrated in the same rhythm. “Don’t worry, you’ll come so hard beyond your wildest imagination...” With a rather cocky smirk, Blake gave Chris a quick kiss and disappeared under the sheets.
Chris never had any wild imagination because he was simply, not wild. But a little within five minutes and after few attempts to stop Blake’s too-kinky-for-words actions, he begged, moaned and shouted out words that made him blush. When he came his mind went completely blank, his eyes shut tight and yet bright lights danced around, formed strange images. Chris thought he had lost his mind for the next few minutes of panting and recovering. Then he looked down between his legs. Blake popped up on his elbows, face in his palms, sheets coming down from his head like a blushing bride. Still with that smirk on his face, Blake was enjoying his view, claiming what he had decided that belonged to him. “You like?”
“Fishing for compliments again?” Chris sat up so he could see Blake better.
Blake didn’t care to compose a witty repartee, he was so hard from all that mouth work on Chris and listening to him moan, it started to hurt. So he climbed up and lied next to Chris, took Chris’ hand and lead the younger man to touch him. It felt great. Chris’ hand on his cock, but he wanted more, he wanted for a while now, Chris’ month, those lips he never gotten tired of kissing and that tongue. He wanted to feel that warmth on his cock. Fuck. Just the thought of it drove Blake crazy.
So he put his hand on the back of Chris’ neck, kissed him and just gave a hint of pressure.
Chris froze, and didn’t corporate. Instead he kissed Blake again, pushed the man down on the bed, climbed on top of him, and increased the speed on his hand while deepening the kiss. Blake went along with it. He moved his hips to increase the sensation, welcoming a deeper touch from Chris and reached out to touch the man’s firm body. Blake knew Chris wasn’t ready. Sometimes he forgot Chris was straight. Sure Chris fell for him and had no problem with touching and kissing. But it was like a gay man might have no problem kissing a woman, but asking him to put his mouth on a woman’s sexual organs might need a more patient approach. Blake knew all that but sometimes the situation got him so hot he wished he was the bigger man and maybe he could have forced Chris.
Oh. For fucks sake Lewis, STOP! Blake cursed silently.
**
Today, the day after the painful Top 9 result show was exactly the twentieth day since the first time they kissed, Chris thought, but then, who was counting.
He has been staring at the computer screen for the past two hours. Gina left and the reality of the competition had finally crept in and gotten on everyone’s nerves. Well, maybe except Sanjaya. The boy went shopping with his family again, he said with that big grin that he wasn’t worried about Latin week at all, and he had it all prepared.
Latin week, what the hell is that anyways? Chris thought of the possibility of any of them ever sing Latin music again. Latin, hot, J.Lo, hot, Laitin, hard songs to sing, J.Lo, hot, Blake, hot, Latin, hot, Blake, Jake…
Jake… Chris remembered Blake’s friend whom he had quite an interesting encounter with. Jake was Latin, not sure of his origin, but he was definitely Latin, and Blake loved dark haired Latin girls.
Then he touched his neck, and felt slightly annoyed. He had told Blake god knew how many times not to suck too hard and leave hickeys. But yesterday when he got back from the gym, as soon as he entered the room, Blake literally jumped him, muttering something like he had been playing some really dope beats earlier that it got him hot. Blake was like a caged animal set free, almost swallowed Chris alive. Once they fell onto the bed, Blake dragged Chris on top of him and asked Chris, in the most perverted and yet sexiest voice Chris ever heard, to fuck him, fuck him hard. And Chris did. When they finished Blake passed out right away and Chris felt like he just ran another hour on the treadmill. After the shower he noticed the marks on his neck and knew it would stay for few days. Of course he wasn’t angry at that moment, at that moment he slipped under the sheets and pulled Blake in his arms and fell asleep.
Now he was pissed. Tomorrow they had to sing in front of J. Lo. What a great way to meet one of the hottest women in the world by baring few fresh hickeys. He knew he had to go buy a scarf, not like anyone had packed one to bring to Hollywood.
Twenty minutes later he was at Beverly Hills Mall and it took another twenty more minutes to find a scarf that didn’t look ridiculous. Then on his way out he stopped in front of an electronic store. In the window shop was the newest Guitar Hero kit. It wasn’t cheap, but Chris could not wait to see the excitement on his music-obsessed boyfriend’s face when he unwrap the present.
Boyfriend, or whatever Blake likes to call it.
**
When Blake walked into the room he saw Chris quickly stood up and ran towards him, arms wide open. Before Blake could say anything he was embraced tightly, and virtually lifted off the floor.
“Hmmm… Blakelicious.” Chris pressed his nose against Blake’s neck, and took a deep breath.
“Did you find that name online?” Blake shivered and put his arm around Chris.
“I’m thinking ordering a Blaker Boy t-shirt.” Chris let Blake go but Blake continued clinging on the taller man.
“They will give you one silly.” Blake reached up for a kiss. “Gosh I don’t want to go to the party tonight.”
“Get use to it, you are famous now.” Chris walked over to the closet to pick out clothes, dragging along with him a very clingy Blake. “Dress to impress Lewis, go change.” With that said, he pushed Blake to the closet at the other side of the room.
“I wanna wear your clothes.” Blake won’t let go of Chris.
“My clothes won’t fit you.” Chris smiled and added. “Shorty.”
“I don’t care, you wore mine once!” Blake pushed pass by Chris and opened Chris’s closet and inspected. “Hmmm, still no skeletons.”
“You, are my skeleton.” Chris put his arm around Blake.
“Ha. Under other circumstances that could sound extremely romantic.” Blake pulled out a grey Obey t-shirt, excited about his discovery. “I like!”
Chris paused for a second, stared at Blake putting on that particular t-shirt. He wanted to say something but bit his tongue. If Blake wanted it, he should have it. Chris took a deep breath and started to get ready.
There were things he should have told Blake. He would, soon, this just wasn’t the right time.
**
On the way to their Top 8 party at Opia, the contestants sat in a stretch limo, all complained about how hard their Latin songs were. All except Chris, Blake and Sanjaya.
Chris, who half-heartly tried to stop Blake from touching him in public, spotted Sanjaya glancing at them with an annoying smirk.
What?! Chris mouthed to the younger man.
Get. A. Room. Sanjaya mouthed back and saw Blake grinning at him.
I. Love. You. SANJAYA! Blake suddenly switched to a crying face certain little girl had made famous on national television.
Sanjaya shook his head, squinted at Blake before getting back to his sidekick chat.
“Relax Rich, if you let SANJAYA get to ya, how are you gonna deal with AMERICA?” Blake put his chin on Chris’ shoulder, enjoyed that familiar soap scent. Chris glanced down at Blake. They were so close and for the first time Chris weren’t afraid just kiss him in public. Blake was special, endless talent trapped in a smooth body, a body accompanied with a mind so confident and unique, it never for a moment doubted its purpose in life. Chris felt safe with Blake, as if the older man would always save the day.
“Hey…” Chris tiled his head and whispered into Blake’s ear. “I have a gift for you…”
The scent, the closeness, Blake immediately thought it was sex related. “Hmmm…, what are you gonna do to me? Richness?”
Chris laughed. “A real gift, it’s under your bed.”
“What is it?” Blake’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas day.
“You will see.” Chris’ eyes locked with Blake’s, a moment passed, he surprised himself by lowering his voice and whispered, “I’m also planning on doing some things to you…”
“WHAT IS IT?!” Now the kid was officially excited.
Chris looked around before whispering few more words into Blake’s ear that made Blake grinning like an idiot.
“You wouldn’t.” Blake shifted a little, just the thought of Chris’ mouth on his cock was making him want to get out of the car now and find the nearest hotel room. “I didn’t think you could.”
Chris blushed a little. “It’s not like I can’t… I just needed some time.”
Blake nodded and just about to say something naughty, but stopped when Chris’s hand rested on his knee.
“It just…” Chris smiled. “It just feels right… right now… you know?”
Blake nodded more, covered Chris’ hand with his own.
**
Opia. A frequent visit of Hollywood starlets and hipsters with trust funds, and tonight, eight idol contestants who came from much humbler backgrounds. They smiled, answered questions and posed for pictures. After few drinks, they were loosened up and everyone split on the dancing floor.
Chris and Blake made through the crowd after finally getting their drinks at the crowded bar. They found Haley and her friends and joined the conversation. Haley’s childhood friend Cristina was revealing some rather funny stories of Haley, Chris laughed out loud until he heard his name. He turned around, recognizing someone in a group of beautiful blondes.
“Lauren!!”
“Chris Richardson…” Lauren Conrad stepped away from the group and walked over. “I saw your other friends, thought I’d see ya somewhere.”
“How are you?” Chris smiled.
“Well, let’s see…” Lauren narrowed her eyes at Chris. “Did Blake forget to tell you or you just decided not to call me?”
“Huh?” Chris thought he heard Blake’s name.
“He didn’t tell you?” Lauren then spotted Blake. “Blake!”
Blake heard his name and turned around. As soon as he saw Lauren standing next to Chris, his felt a rush of uneasiness, and yet at that very second he couldn’t remember why.
“What’s up… Lauren right?”
“Yah.” Lauren smiled. “Why didn’t ya tell Chris to call me!”
“What?” Blake looked rather confused.
“Remember? At Club Strada? It’s only last weekend Blake!”
As soon as the name of Jake’s infamous club was said, both Chris and Blake stirred a little. Chris turned to look at Blake and found a hint of panic in Blake’s eyes.
“Right… I…” Blake was quick. He was always good at lying. A little white lie here and there did the world good. So Blake quickly composed something in his head, but before he even had a chance to speak up, Lauren crossed her arm in front of her and tiled her head, looking at Blake with an impressed expression.
“I didn’t know you are friends with Jake Bourdon.”
Now, time to be officially panicking, Blake felt Chris’ gaze on him.
“I saw you two later on that night. You know, quite a few girlfriends of mine like Jake, but he is always such an arrogant prick! Haha. No offence. Maybe you could hook them up.” Lauren totally wasn’t awaring of the situation while she burbled on.
“Sure, sure.” Blake forced a smile.
Lauren looked over at Chris and found the taller man expressionless. She wanted to continue, but even after few drinks she could feel the tension that was building up by the second. After her own friends called her few times, she smiled at two men who sure weren’t smiling.
“Ok boys, good luck on the show.” She pointed at them, not realizing that she was making things worse by jokingly saying: “Go CAKE!”
Blake forced out another smile and watched the blondes walking away, suddenly hoping they could have stayed longer. A moment later he looked at Chris, who already turned back and resumed his conversation with Cristina like nothing had happened. Blake sighed and even though the room was filled with loud music and noises, he felt it was too quiet, like the stillness before a deadly storm.
They left the club early. Chris led the way out and they got into a taxi. The ride back to the hotel was quiet and Blake didn’t mind. He was composing more words in his head, words of apology, words to trick a lover into forgiving. Of course this was hard because he never done it before.
“Just tell me…”
Hearing Chris’ voice, deeper than usual, Blake looked up, surprised. Chris was staring into the darkness outside the window.
“Just tell me… you went, had few drinks with him, and came home, that… you slept next to me the whole night…”
Blake’s heart sunk. He rubbed his eyes, feeling the uncomfortable dryness of his contact lenses clinging on his eyes and a suddenly wave of tiredness, making him barely able to speak. “…I don’t want to lie, Chris.”
“…And from now on, you don’t ever have to.” Chris let out a small laugh, and lowered his head. Blake looked at the side of Chris’ face, desperately seeking for some eye contact, or at least some display of emotion. But there was none. He gazed at Chris for another minute, until he turned to his side of the window. It was too late. He knew nothing he could say right now that could change anything. Chris was gone.
When they got back to the hotel room, Blake stood by the door, watched Chris picking up few things, putting them in a bag, and walked towards the door. He felt Chris slowed down a little when he walked pass by before shutting the door. He really did feel Chris slowing down a little, just a little, or it was merely his pathetic imagination.
Blake sat down on the floor, leaned against the bed, the smell of Chris’ soap, his body, his disappointment suffocated Blake and he put his arms around himself, fingertips feeling the texture of Chris’ t-shirt.
Then he saw it.
Pulling the newest Guitar Hero kit out from under the bed, Blake smiled, stared at the box cover for how long he couldn’t remember. He didn’t go to sleep even though he was about to pass out. He set up the Guitar Hero game and soon got into it. Few songs later, he felt wide awake. When the next song name blinked, it was “Comfortably Numb”.
The night was dark and quiet, lyrics hunting and Blake’s guitar solo had never been better.
Hello,
Is there anybody in there
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home
Come on now
I hear you're feeling down
I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again
Relax
I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts
There is no pain, you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably numb
Blake cried. His hands couldn’t break away from the Guitar Hero game, like he was programmed to do that. But he cried, feeling the warmth of tears that he hasn’t felt for a long time.
Sure the train had crashed, but Blake didn’t want to come off board. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t so sure of himself anymore.
**
Author: Suedette
Pairing: Cake
Rating: Nc-17? kinda.
Disclaimer: Don't own any of them, just for fun.
Notes: a lil angst for this crazzzzy nyc weather :(
You and me? Maybe (6)
(6)
Blake cried. His hands couldn’t break away from the Guitar Hero game, like he was programmed to just keep playing. But he cried, burned by the warmth of tears he hasn’t felt for the longest time.
It was like the train was doomed to crash, but now looking back, the warning signs were screaming along the way, but they were too busy falling for each other to notice.
**
Blake studied Chris’ body, warm, muscular, proportional, with a few freckles here and there, dry skin on his elbows, a small birthmark on the chest, and a temperament of uncertainty, of locked and unexplored desires. Chris’ face was less muscular, a hint of prettiness, with feminine colors, baby green, pink, ash brown and some precious amber.
Chris was very handsome, and Chris needed people to constantly remind him to even believe just a little. So Chris was also very modest and kind. Handsome, modest and kind. Chris was perfect for Blake.
“Where did you go…?” Chris opened his eyes, a little disappointed when Blake’s kisses had disappeared from his body, and caught the man staring at him.
Blake smiled, a little more focused, naughtiness written all over his allegedly innocent face.
“What?” Chris was just about to sit up. Blake pushed him down back onto the bed.
“I’m going to do some things to you.” Blake whispered into Chris’ ear. “It may be kinda strange at first, but…” Their eyes met, hot breaths exchanged, body silently vibrated in the same rhythm. “Don’t worry, you’ll come so hard beyond your wildest imagination...” With a rather cocky smirk, Blake gave Chris a quick kiss and disappeared under the sheets.
Chris never had any wild imagination because he was simply, not wild. But a little within five minutes and after few attempts to stop Blake’s too-kinky-for-words actions, he begged, moaned and shouted out words that made him blush. When he came his mind went completely blank, his eyes shut tight and yet bright lights danced around, formed strange images. Chris thought he had lost his mind for the next few minutes of panting and recovering. Then he looked down between his legs. Blake popped up on his elbows, face in his palms, sheets coming down from his head like a blushing bride. Still with that smirk on his face, Blake was enjoying his view, claiming what he had decided that belonged to him. “You like?”
“Fishing for compliments again?” Chris sat up so he could see Blake better.
Blake didn’t care to compose a witty repartee, he was so hard from all that mouth work on Chris and listening to him moan, it started to hurt. So he climbed up and lied next to Chris, took Chris’ hand and lead the younger man to touch him. It felt great. Chris’ hand on his cock, but he wanted more, he wanted for a while now, Chris’ month, those lips he never gotten tired of kissing and that tongue. He wanted to feel that warmth on his cock. Fuck. Just the thought of it drove Blake crazy.
So he put his hand on the back of Chris’ neck, kissed him and just gave a hint of pressure.
Chris froze, and didn’t corporate. Instead he kissed Blake again, pushed the man down on the bed, climbed on top of him, and increased the speed on his hand while deepening the kiss. Blake went along with it. He moved his hips to increase the sensation, welcoming a deeper touch from Chris and reached out to touch the man’s firm body. Blake knew Chris wasn’t ready. Sometimes he forgot Chris was straight. Sure Chris fell for him and had no problem with touching and kissing. But it was like a gay man might have no problem kissing a woman, but asking him to put his mouth on a woman’s sexual organs might need a more patient approach. Blake knew all that but sometimes the situation got him so hot he wished he was the bigger man and maybe he could have forced Chris.
Oh. For fucks sake Lewis, STOP! Blake cursed silently.
**
Today, the day after the painful Top 9 result show was exactly the twentieth day since the first time they kissed, Chris thought, but then, who was counting.
He has been staring at the computer screen for the past two hours. Gina left and the reality of the competition had finally crept in and gotten on everyone’s nerves. Well, maybe except Sanjaya. The boy went shopping with his family again, he said with that big grin that he wasn’t worried about Latin week at all, and he had it all prepared.
Latin week, what the hell is that anyways? Chris thought of the possibility of any of them ever sing Latin music again. Latin, hot, J.Lo, hot, Laitin, hard songs to sing, J.Lo, hot, Blake, hot, Latin, hot, Blake, Jake…
Jake… Chris remembered Blake’s friend whom he had quite an interesting encounter with. Jake was Latin, not sure of his origin, but he was definitely Latin, and Blake loved dark haired Latin girls.
Then he touched his neck, and felt slightly annoyed. He had told Blake god knew how many times not to suck too hard and leave hickeys. But yesterday when he got back from the gym, as soon as he entered the room, Blake literally jumped him, muttering something like he had been playing some really dope beats earlier that it got him hot. Blake was like a caged animal set free, almost swallowed Chris alive. Once they fell onto the bed, Blake dragged Chris on top of him and asked Chris, in the most perverted and yet sexiest voice Chris ever heard, to fuck him, fuck him hard. And Chris did. When they finished Blake passed out right away and Chris felt like he just ran another hour on the treadmill. After the shower he noticed the marks on his neck and knew it would stay for few days. Of course he wasn’t angry at that moment, at that moment he slipped under the sheets and pulled Blake in his arms and fell asleep.
Now he was pissed. Tomorrow they had to sing in front of J. Lo. What a great way to meet one of the hottest women in the world by baring few fresh hickeys. He knew he had to go buy a scarf, not like anyone had packed one to bring to Hollywood.
Twenty minutes later he was at Beverly Hills Mall and it took another twenty more minutes to find a scarf that didn’t look ridiculous. Then on his way out he stopped in front of an electronic store. In the window shop was the newest Guitar Hero kit. It wasn’t cheap, but Chris could not wait to see the excitement on his music-obsessed boyfriend’s face when he unwrap the present.
Boyfriend, or whatever Blake likes to call it.
**
When Blake walked into the room he saw Chris quickly stood up and ran towards him, arms wide open. Before Blake could say anything he was embraced tightly, and virtually lifted off the floor.
“Hmmm… Blakelicious.” Chris pressed his nose against Blake’s neck, and took a deep breath.
“Did you find that name online?” Blake shivered and put his arm around Chris.
“I’m thinking ordering a Blaker Boy t-shirt.” Chris let Blake go but Blake continued clinging on the taller man.
“They will give you one silly.” Blake reached up for a kiss. “Gosh I don’t want to go to the party tonight.”
“Get use to it, you are famous now.” Chris walked over to the closet to pick out clothes, dragging along with him a very clingy Blake. “Dress to impress Lewis, go change.” With that said, he pushed Blake to the closet at the other side of the room.
“I wanna wear your clothes.” Blake won’t let go of Chris.
“My clothes won’t fit you.” Chris smiled and added. “Shorty.”
“I don’t care, you wore mine once!” Blake pushed pass by Chris and opened Chris’s closet and inspected. “Hmmm, still no skeletons.”
“You, are my skeleton.” Chris put his arm around Blake.
“Ha. Under other circumstances that could sound extremely romantic.” Blake pulled out a grey Obey t-shirt, excited about his discovery. “I like!”
Chris paused for a second, stared at Blake putting on that particular t-shirt. He wanted to say something but bit his tongue. If Blake wanted it, he should have it. Chris took a deep breath and started to get ready.
There were things he should have told Blake. He would, soon, this just wasn’t the right time.
**
On the way to their Top 8 party at Opia, the contestants sat in a stretch limo, all complained about how hard their Latin songs were. All except Chris, Blake and Sanjaya.
Chris, who half-heartly tried to stop Blake from touching him in public, spotted Sanjaya glancing at them with an annoying smirk.
What?! Chris mouthed to the younger man.
Get. A. Room. Sanjaya mouthed back and saw Blake grinning at him.
I. Love. You. SANJAYA! Blake suddenly switched to a crying face certain little girl had made famous on national television.
Sanjaya shook his head, squinted at Blake before getting back to his sidekick chat.
“Relax Rich, if you let SANJAYA get to ya, how are you gonna deal with AMERICA?” Blake put his chin on Chris’ shoulder, enjoyed that familiar soap scent. Chris glanced down at Blake. They were so close and for the first time Chris weren’t afraid just kiss him in public. Blake was special, endless talent trapped in a smooth body, a body accompanied with a mind so confident and unique, it never for a moment doubted its purpose in life. Chris felt safe with Blake, as if the older man would always save the day.
“Hey…” Chris tiled his head and whispered into Blake’s ear. “I have a gift for you…”
The scent, the closeness, Blake immediately thought it was sex related. “Hmmm…, what are you gonna do to me? Richness?”
Chris laughed. “A real gift, it’s under your bed.”
“What is it?” Blake’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas day.
“You will see.” Chris’ eyes locked with Blake’s, a moment passed, he surprised himself by lowering his voice and whispered, “I’m also planning on doing some things to you…”
“WHAT IS IT?!” Now the kid was officially excited.
Chris looked around before whispering few more words into Blake’s ear that made Blake grinning like an idiot.
“You wouldn’t.” Blake shifted a little, just the thought of Chris’ mouth on his cock was making him want to get out of the car now and find the nearest hotel room. “I didn’t think you could.”
Chris blushed a little. “It’s not like I can’t… I just needed some time.”
Blake nodded and just about to say something naughty, but stopped when Chris’s hand rested on his knee.
“It just…” Chris smiled. “It just feels right… right now… you know?”
Blake nodded more, covered Chris’ hand with his own.
**
Opia. A frequent visit of Hollywood starlets and hipsters with trust funds, and tonight, eight idol contestants who came from much humbler backgrounds. They smiled, answered questions and posed for pictures. After few drinks, they were loosened up and everyone split on the dancing floor.
Chris and Blake made through the crowd after finally getting their drinks at the crowded bar. They found Haley and her friends and joined the conversation. Haley’s childhood friend Cristina was revealing some rather funny stories of Haley, Chris laughed out loud until he heard his name. He turned around, recognizing someone in a group of beautiful blondes.
“Lauren!!”
“Chris Richardson…” Lauren Conrad stepped away from the group and walked over. “I saw your other friends, thought I’d see ya somewhere.”
“How are you?” Chris smiled.
“Well, let’s see…” Lauren narrowed her eyes at Chris. “Did Blake forget to tell you or you just decided not to call me?”
“Huh?” Chris thought he heard Blake’s name.
“He didn’t tell you?” Lauren then spotted Blake. “Blake!”
Blake heard his name and turned around. As soon as he saw Lauren standing next to Chris, his felt a rush of uneasiness, and yet at that very second he couldn’t remember why.
“What’s up… Lauren right?”
“Yah.” Lauren smiled. “Why didn’t ya tell Chris to call me!”
“What?” Blake looked rather confused.
“Remember? At Club Strada? It’s only last weekend Blake!”
As soon as the name of Jake’s infamous club was said, both Chris and Blake stirred a little. Chris turned to look at Blake and found a hint of panic in Blake’s eyes.
“Right… I…” Blake was quick. He was always good at lying. A little white lie here and there did the world good. So Blake quickly composed something in his head, but before he even had a chance to speak up, Lauren crossed her arm in front of her and tiled her head, looking at Blake with an impressed expression.
“I didn’t know you are friends with Jake Bourdon.”
Now, time to be officially panicking, Blake felt Chris’ gaze on him.
“I saw you two later on that night. You know, quite a few girlfriends of mine like Jake, but he is always such an arrogant prick! Haha. No offence. Maybe you could hook them up.” Lauren totally wasn’t awaring of the situation while she burbled on.
“Sure, sure.” Blake forced a smile.
Lauren looked over at Chris and found the taller man expressionless. She wanted to continue, but even after few drinks she could feel the tension that was building up by the second. After her own friends called her few times, she smiled at two men who sure weren’t smiling.
“Ok boys, good luck on the show.” She pointed at them, not realizing that she was making things worse by jokingly saying: “Go CAKE!”
Blake forced out another smile and watched the blondes walking away, suddenly hoping they could have stayed longer. A moment later he looked at Chris, who already turned back and resumed his conversation with Cristina like nothing had happened. Blake sighed and even though the room was filled with loud music and noises, he felt it was too quiet, like the stillness before a deadly storm.
They left the club early. Chris led the way out and they got into a taxi. The ride back to the hotel was quiet and Blake didn’t mind. He was composing more words in his head, words of apology, words to trick a lover into forgiving. Of course this was hard because he never done it before.
“Just tell me…”
Hearing Chris’ voice, deeper than usual, Blake looked up, surprised. Chris was staring into the darkness outside the window.
“Just tell me… you went, had few drinks with him, and came home, that… you slept next to me the whole night…”
Blake’s heart sunk. He rubbed his eyes, feeling the uncomfortable dryness of his contact lenses clinging on his eyes and a suddenly wave of tiredness, making him barely able to speak. “…I don’t want to lie, Chris.”
“…And from now on, you don’t ever have to.” Chris let out a small laugh, and lowered his head. Blake looked at the side of Chris’ face, desperately seeking for some eye contact, or at least some display of emotion. But there was none. He gazed at Chris for another minute, until he turned to his side of the window. It was too late. He knew nothing he could say right now that could change anything. Chris was gone.
When they got back to the hotel room, Blake stood by the door, watched Chris picking up few things, putting them in a bag, and walked towards the door. He felt Chris slowed down a little when he walked pass by before shutting the door. He really did feel Chris slowing down a little, just a little, or it was merely his pathetic imagination.
Blake sat down on the floor, leaned against the bed, the smell of Chris’ soap, his body, his disappointment suffocated Blake and he put his arms around himself, fingertips feeling the texture of Chris’ t-shirt.
Then he saw it.
Pulling the newest Guitar Hero kit out from under the bed, Blake smiled, stared at the box cover for how long he couldn’t remember. He didn’t go to sleep even though he was about to pass out. He set up the Guitar Hero game and soon got into it. Few songs later, he felt wide awake. When the next song name blinked, it was “Comfortably Numb”.
The night was dark and quiet, lyrics hunting and Blake’s guitar solo had never been better.
Hello,
Is there anybody in there
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home
Come on now
I hear you're feeling down
I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again
Relax
I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts
There is no pain, you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably numb
Blake cried. His hands couldn’t break away from the Guitar Hero game, like he was programmed to do that. But he cried, feeling the warmth of tears that he hasn’t felt for a long time.
Sure the train had crashed, but Blake didn’t want to come off board. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t so sure of himself anymore.
**